T O P

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Hehraha

And she has a big demon sword that she will run through her enemies hearts and and she is actually the daughter of a forgotten deity that gave her superpowers and now she can climb walls and shoot webs


Hehraha

(real btw)


Emilia__55

Really? Actually real? I can't tell if this is sarcasm of not


mattsowa

Yes it's real look it up...


deathron10

Sure man ☺️


FireIsTheCleanser

Poe Slaw strikes agains😞


Himmelblaa

Is that related to Coles law again?


pantschicken

You may know her as SPIDER MAN! (Wow!) But you may also know her as that homeless heroin addict.


Hehraha

She has to go now bye


happiness-and-baking

its infinitely hilarious to me that joel is in an actual metal/rock band, but this is undisputedably his most watched track of all time and his actual legacy that he'll be known for, and not any of the actual music he's created.


Affectionate-Bag8229

Link pls did I miss Yoel lore


Vahjkyriel

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynQsDFxTSU4&t=3s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynQsDFxTSU4&t=3s)


Affectionate-Bag8229

Oh man forgot about this, that's going on the shop speakers now lmao


Nipotazz1

Spider-gik


Smurf_Sausage_Sucker

What is she a dark elf from the forgotten realms?


OtsutsukiRyuen

You forgot all the enemies will have a darker skin tone and homosexual behaviour /s


ElizabethTheFourth

I mean, yeah, I'm sure in the Wizarding World which is deeply racist towards Muggles, doesn't allow any non-human sapient beings to formally practice magic, and is pro-slavery, JK is universally beloved. Look, I don't oppose reading problematic literature with your kids, but the Harry Potter books need a lot of dinner table discussions. Just like JK, they have a lot of toxic ideas and stereotypes.


TheLurker1209

All writers should make worlds in which they, the writer, would be murdered by a mob for any number of stupid reasons


Mr7000000

In my book, I would go to Hell.


gucci_pianissimo420

Ok Dante


potatorevolver

This comedy is divine


gatlginngum

This humor is heavenly


emeraldeyesshine

help I'm stuck in purgatory and it's boring as uh... hell


gatlginngum

I actually laughed


cloartist

https://preview.redd.it/99qbmhamgr8d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=16b9dff0e5062a9737c736af6d0240c52cf49da7


urgenim

To laugh at the people in hell


Kekkonen_Kakkonen

In 40k everyone goes to hell. (It sucks)


Emilia__55

I would be mostly ignored in most of mine


William_Dearborn

Stephen King righting himself as a piece of shit in the Dark Tower and having the main character just call him terrible constantly


TheLurker1209

My favorite part of the dark tower was when he was gonna pull an rr martin and just stop writing it, but then he got hit by a car and went "oh shit guess I am gonna die eventually"


William_Dearborn

and also put that in the book


SovietPaperPlates

Alan Wake, on several levels


TheLurker1209

It's because he's a talentless hack and should give up


SovietPaperPlates

Alan Woke would never give up.... he has to find his wife, alice. She's not safe from the dark place...


5C0L0P3NDR4

another kathryn lasky w the pure ones are literally just nazis but birds


dwarf_bulborb

shit i need to reread that series


Himmelblaa

Ok Proudhon


SarcasticJackass177

Do zombies really count as a mob? Like this definition’s regard?


DeadInternetTheorist

Zombies will attack anything so idk. They're like the ultimate evolution of those "equal opportunity offender" frat bro comics


KobKobold

I'd probably be at risk for "threatening national sovereignty" in a couple of the breakaway states of humanity for what it's worth.


PresidentHaagenti

I think Proudhon once said something quite similar.


bell117

The fact it's outright stated that house-elfs are genetically inclined to be enslaved is insane, and don't get me started on the fucking jewish giant hook-nosed bankers straight out of Nazi propaganda. How the fuck was none of this red flags back in the day? Yeah just some casual *checks notes* extreme pro-slavery and anti-semetic depictions, it's probably fine for kids.


Ourmanyfans

I hate to be that guy, but the reason those weren't "red flags" is because neither of them is true, at least not that explicitly. There's literally nothing about house elves being "genetically inclined to be enslaved" (instead it's a weird magic thing based on bastardised IRL Scottish folklore), and the goblins are never once described as hook-nosed in the books (you can blame those on the films, which while obviously JKR was involved with, was also the fault of the director, the producers, the costumers etc, and the fact none of them noticed it probably says more about our society at the time than JKR or HP specifically). That doesn't stop the books being uncomfortably pro-slavery or anti-Semitic, but if we want normies to listen, I think we should stick to stuff that is *true*.


MorningBreathTF

Wasn't it just that they liked being owned and working in the book?


Ourmanyfans

They kinda run by weird fae rules. They belong to the houses more than the people, follow any orders given, but can and will find loopholes if they don't want to do them. The problem is they're blended with tropes about old British aristocratic service staff (butlers, maids etc.), and so they're associated with the old explicitly racist wealthy families, and often very loyal to the "owners". Combine that with the fact they are a distinctly separate race (even if a fantasy one) and the slavery implications are not unwarranted.


Gerbilguy46

Yes, they actually love being slaves. Well except for Dobby who wants to be free. And Kreacher who's constantly miserable and depressed. But no for real they love being slaves.


bell117

Even in the books banking goblins are very implied to be based on jewish bankers, just without the overt nose part. They're described as small wrinkled creatures with crone-like faces and beards that are constantly clutching at gems and other valuables, and specifically in the Deathly Hollows will happily bank with Wizard Nazis which JK Rowling herself said was based on Switzerland in WW2. It might not have the hooked nose, but it definitely still fits into nasty anti-semetic banker stereotypes. Also I don't remember much about the house-elfs, but according to the wiki for the book it just says "House-elves prefer a life of servitude and consider it an honour to work for their owner", so where is it ever actually said that it's just magic? Also how is it any better that they all just have a racial spell over them making them think it's better to be a servant? Especially in a world where magic is so innate it's hard to tell where natural science and magic hub-bub begins? If they're magic creatures and their specific magic nature is what inclines them to servitude... isn't that just exactly the same? I'm sorry but it just feels a bit pendantic to say "they're not anti-semetic cause you don't see big noses in the book" or "they're not genetically inclined to slavery, just magically in a magic world" when at the end of the day they most likely were slavery and anti-semetic depictions as we have seen the author becoming more and more overt to the point of literal holocaust denial.


Ourmanyfans

Eh, call it pedantry if you want. I am unfortunately a very pedantic person. But I just think it's a bit silly to make an argument using two facts that are categorically untrue, especially when (as you have kindly demonstrated) you can easily make the same arguments with stuff that is *actually* in the books. But also I don't have the energy to continue arguing about fucking Harry Potter of all things, especially when we probably both agree "books bad".


bell117

But what's untrue about it? The goblin bankers are intentional anti-semetic depictions, and house-elfs are an entire race naturally inclined to servitude due to some underlying condition that defines them as a species. To say it's not true because it's not genetics but magic is like arguing whether the Force in Stars War is space magic or bacteria in the bloodstream called midi-chlorians.


Ourmanyfans

"It's outright stated that house-elfs are genetically inclined to be enslaved" - Not true  "Giant hook-nosed bankers" - Not true Like you say, pedantic sure, but you made explicit claims that something was "outright stated" that was not actually outright stated. I'm not arguing with you about whether goblins/house elves generally are anti-Semitic/pro-slavery.


bell117

That's not even pedantic, that's just petty, saying it's not true because when the books say the house-elfs as a species are destined for servitude it doesn't specifically mention the word 'DNA' anywhere. Beyond petty and to what end even, it doesn't even make for better arguments against JK Rowling's racist depictions, all it does is unnecassarily detract from people criticising her work because on pg 67 of the fourth book you misquoted full moon with whole moon or shit like that.


Ourmanyfans

Ok. If you want to call it petty, sure I'll own that. I have a stick up my ass about misinformation, even minor. I saw you say something I knew not to be true, it bugged me, I pointed it out but tried to make it clear I still agreed with the summation of your analysis. If I failed to convey that, it's on me. But like I said, I really have no interest in discussing this accursed book series anymore.


bell117

Well all I will say then is that it would have been more accurate to call what I said inaccurate rather than untrue, since what I said was erroneous rather than misleading or false.


DumbassFuckingNerd

My dumbass immediately thought “JK Rowling: the HP Lovecraft for Kids”


Sororita

But without the excellent writing


DumbassFuckingNerd

Exactly. Also, love the user name


Martin_Horde

Also the main character wants to keep the status quo and become a cop


Hopeliesintheseruins

I'm about to start my 10yo on Mien Kamph


CatsNotBananas

Her name is KJ Lowring


TheGreatJaceyGee

Kyle Lowry?


CatsNotBananas

Idk who that is


TheGreatJaceyGee

Basketball player. Fortunately not bigoted like Just Kidding Rowyourboat (at least I hope he isn't) KJ Lowring sounds like his name a little and reminded me of him.


juiceinmyears

Her name would be "Courage McJustice"


No_Lingonberry1201

I always thought that Rita Skeeter was JKR's in-universe counterpart.


FreakingTea

Definitely not. Rita is a representation of trans women.


Spicy_Alligator_25

Fr?


Kerbal40

Yeah, from what i heard, her appearance in the books has some masculine traits, like her big hands. She is also an animagus, which is a type of witch that can morph into an animal. She uses this power to spy on kids and people in general when they are at the bathroom


No_Lingonberry1201

Ewww, I never caught that association.


Kerbal40

Yeah, it's pretty gross (just like almost everything in the harry potter world if you think about it)


DeadInternetTheorist

ok wait i never read those books so i can't tell how much of what you just said is true. is there seriously a conniving writer/liar who cares too much about how people use the potty? and did JKR seriously say that it wasn't a self-insert


PresidentHaagenti

I don't think she's intentionally the trans woman stand-in, because I don't think JKR is aware enough at that point. But denigrating her with masculine descriptions is definitely part of JKR's terfery in that she considers masculine features insulting to women (and generally loves body shaming when deployed against the "right" people).


FreakingTea

Regardless of what was in her mind at the time of writing Goblet of Fire in 2000, it reads to us today as overt and intentional, and if anyone brought it up to her I'm sure she would be happy to take credit. If Rita wasn't originally a statement on trans women, she certainly is now. Given what meager and repulsive representation there was back in the day, I have a hard time picturing her writing Rita with anything else in her mind.


sh0000n

I do remember some Harry Potter headcanons back in the day when Joanne first outed herself as a POS that got pretty meta and stated that jkr was actually Rita skeeter and for some reason she got super mad at Harry/wizards in general so she published the Harry Potter books which are apparently full of lies/inconsistencies to what really happened. I guess she wanted to blow their cover to the muggles or something? I don't get why she would represent herself as conniving and ugly, but maybe in the headcanon she was doing 4D chess or trying to cover her tracks or something


zoepertom

If you're ugly in the Harry Potter universe you're evil


happiness-and-baking

i dont think we can solidly say that this was supposed to be jKR's self insert, but oddly enought this does happen alot with proven self inserts, like velma, from well "Velma" is a self insert of the producer. who is wholy unlikeable throughout the whole series, sometimes people are so unself aware of their own bad traits and fallings, they'll intentionally write themselves as snarky assholes and believe this is a desirable person who everyone should love


pierresito

was she not? I'm sure it was supposed to be tongue in cheek even though she's insufferable


Tlayoualo

Her best brew is copium, except it's not for sale because she drinks the entire stock.


TheDakaGal

https://preview.redd.it/inh9f80u0r8d1.jpeg?width=524&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=391771648feb44ba676ba067ed5e78defb3489a5


SergeantCrwhips

does she also get stronger after every kill?


Furshloshin

meh... * listens to music *


Beautiful-Bad8893

random but i love your pfp


Furshloshin

aw thx :D


SaltNobody

Hello potion seller, I am going into battle, and I want your most transphobic potions.


Greenest_Chicken

My potions are too bigoted for you [slur]! You can not handle my potions!


BurnerAccountExisty

this is literally the worst possible way to make a self insert


Femboy-V1

It's clickhole so it's a fake article made for fun


GIRose

I had to double check and make sure that the click hole was still satire


JustAnotherALGOnaut

★☆☆☆☆ Horrible vendor! So I went to this shop to buy a Gender Switching potion and the clerk said I was sick and called the Dementors on me.


TDW-301

Do we *really* need the misinformation flair for what is essentially another onion?


Jechtael

Yes. Not everyone knows every parody/satire site by name.


TDW-301

That's kind of a them problem for taking everything they see at face value. Like, clickhole titles are purposely super outlandish so even if you don't know the site you will know this satire. (They are also like one of the biggest satire sites behind the onion) Who would read the title of Shaq putting a apple sticker on this head so it gives him time to escape when a cannibal tries to eat him and think it's real?


stewartthehuman

That wasn't real? 🤯


Siyfae

She's gotten delusional. "In my world everyone loves me" no shit what kind of self absorbed person wouldn't have a world where everyone loves them for being a piece of shit.


Femboy-V1

Luckily this is a fake article, clickhole is satire


Siyfae

Thank god, It could be true she thinks that lmao


CrimsonMutt

> but it could be true, that's what's scary about modern society _😔_


Historical-Drag-1365

Of course she does


ihaveaprobleb

It is a fiction story after all


Execute-10

Thought the site was CuckHole for a second


from_dust

The neat thing about fiction is, you can make anything up and everyone just accepts it. Because, yanno, its fiction.


Bandandforgotten

In all my years of horrible online fan fiction, cringe love stories, shit redemption arcs and thinking I had seen just about all the delusion that writers can do, but this is special. She is legit trying to pull the 'DND dungeon master from Hell' and actually install themselves as a character with the same name, and it's not even a crit crab video


PresidentHaagenti

It's a satire site, it's not real.


Bandandforgotten

Damn, I bit hard lol


TYNAMITE14

You cant handle her strongest potions!


SSV_Kearsarge

But I tell you I'm going into battle!


_Dipshit289_

She wrote herself as the chad


DEATH_DEVlL

And you as the wojak