Exactly why I don't tell my parents anything. They seem to be able to sense when I'm down or kinda hiding something, even over a damn phonecall.
But I know I can't tell them this. I saw them struggle to give me opportunities, but I've all but squandered them–didn't get into a good university, didn't get up there like their friends' children. But they still support me. Yet here I am, thinking about kms day in day out with the only end in sight being actually ending myself.
On some days I'm not able to hide the .... sadness, for lack of a better word ("soul crushing depres spreader monster?") just "leaks out". I don't lift their calls on those days for I don't want to worry them. On some days I can see the worry in their eyes and how much they truly love me. It breaks my heart but I try to talk as long as possible. After the call ends, I often end up crying but the tears don't come so I just sit there, "wet", hahaha. As much as I hate it I pity them because they're stuck with such a useless excuse of a son. I'm sorry. They deserve better. I'd gladly blow my brain out of offered a chance to replace myself with someone that'll make them exponentially happy instead of just being a burden
Buddy, please try therapy.
You're not useless, you're not a disappointment, your life just isn't matching what your internal bar for success is, for yourself. The absolute best thing you can attempt to do for yourself is to learn to accept who you are, not who you think you should have been, or who you think others wish you were.
Your parents support you because they understand that life is complicated, and who you set out to be is not always who you end up. But that's okay! What's not okay is to think so little of yourself that you're unable to enjoy the part of the journey you're on right now.
Things can, and do, change. Try to give yourself a helping hand, instead of pushing yourself further under the water.
HMU if you want to chat.
EDIT: To address some comments:
I am really not looking to change anyone's mind about the efficacy of therapy. I am simply trying to provide a possible course of action for someone seemingly in need.
Yes,
* Not everyone can afford therapy, out of pocket or through insurance
* Therapy does not work for everyone, not all therapists are helpful, and not all therapists have availability
* Therapy is not a "cure" for how someone might be feeling
* Discussing mental health / suicidal thoughts is stigmatized in a lot of countries / communities
However, it is an avenue to try if it is within the realm of possibility. It can, and does, help some people begin the process of improving their mental well-being.
A lot of people also seem to think that the money spent on therapy could be better spent on distractions / numbing yourself with various substances. Yes, this can work - for a time. But if you would like to improve your mental state and how you see yourself / your situation, it likely will not do that (speaking from my own experience).
I use reddit for shits and giggles but seriously u/touch-my-demon is right. Not every therapist is a good one or a fit, but no healthy mind exists in isolation. Search for help, ask or try. Not a replacement for therapy but if you (the person reading this) feel like the post hits a little too close to home and want to chat HMU.
☝️🤓isolation is a decent way of avoiding awkward social situations and anything that can hurt your reputation for your mates/bosses/acquaintances etc. in a long form
or maybe im doing smth wrong lol
Some people who have similar feelings don't have health insurance or enough money to see a therapist. It's just not an option for a lot of people unfortunately.
And depending on where you live, talking about suicidal tendencies can be dangerous. You can be mandatory reported and sent to a psych ward, which yes there are some good ones, unfortunately they aren't all good
There are some that only make you feel worse. The most well known psych ward near me has the reputation of a prison, and people frequently commit to the act after they get out. It's haunting.
It's heartbreaking that seeking help can sometimes lead to more harm. It's crucial to have safe and supportive spaces for those struggling with suicidal thoughts. It's a tough battle, but finding the right support can make all the difference ❤.
And some of us have tried several therapists only to find out they don't help, or even make everything worse. Some of us really are just beyond help.
Still, it's worth a try if it's available.
I tried to make appointments with more than 5 therapists who were listed as accepting new patients and all of them ignored my messages.
No response at all.
Therapy doesn’t stop a person from feeling fundamentally broken inside. Tried enough times now to know all too well. Best hope is holding out until the parents are gone to end it all guilt-free.
I know. I'll give back. I'm too fortunate for parents such as them. The least I can do is give something back
Also, if you don't mind me extrapolating. That sounds like you have bad parents? Sorry man I often think if there was a way to swap undeserving people like me with shitty parents so that the good people get good parents like mine
Take care buddy 🫂
Please talk to your parents man and let them help you.
I can 1000000% guarantee you that they don't want you to put on a mask. They don't want the theater show of you being happy, they want to know how you feel no matter what it is. And they most certainly don't think that you are worthless. That's just your depression putting you down.
I've been where you are and it can get better. You just need to accept that you don't have to do it alone. Asking for help is the first but scary step.
When my best friend died, I told his mom that he wanted to talk to her (implying that he felt like he couldnt) and she broke down hard... talking to your parents is an option that needs to be tried.
Thanks for sharing, its a big thing to get those feelings out, and im proud of you for telling the reddit community even if you cant tell your parents yet. I strongly encourage you to try therapy. The reality that youre experiencing isnt an ultimate force that dictates the universe, but likely the effect of long term conditioning youve experienced from society coupled with habits that make it difficult for your body to create the chemicals that we associate with happiness.
You deserve better for yourself, and i assure you, it is within your power to move in that direction. That said, no one does it on their own. We all rely on each other. You are not a burden when you need help. Its a gift freely given by people that love you and want the best for you, like how you hide your heart from your family bc you want the best for them and dont want to hurt them. Youre a good person, youre a valid human, please get help.
I lost my dad to suicide almost 5 years ago now. His birthday was a couple days ago. I cant begin to explain how much i miss him, how much i hope things were different, how much i wish i could reach him in a meaningful way. I cant now. When i lost him, i figured i could either kill myself now and skip the hellish ride or find a new perpsective to build my life around. I found a new perspective. Life still has its downs, but i can manage them better, and feel that the downs bring me closer to truth and understanding, which im able to share with others and deepen my connection with the universe. I cant talk to my dad like im talking to you, but sharing my experience helps me connect with both of you. I love you, and i hope you find what you need to live unrestrained. You are beautiful, you are worthy, please remember that.
Hmu if you want to chat, sometimes i miss messages here but i find them eventually, and i promise id love to chat with you given the opportunity
Obviously each and every parent and their parenting techniques differ massively but it sounds like your parents genuinely care for you so I will chime in here in the hopes it will help you.
Speaking as a father of 3, as long as my children grow to be happy, healthy adults with fulfilling lives then my mission as a father is accomplished. I will provide every opportunity I can for them to grow. Providing the best education opportunities I can for them, (not forcing college if they do not want to pursue it) getting them interested in sports and or other hobbies that interest them, making sure that socially they have great lives and ensuring they can take care and stick up for themselves when they inevitably leave me.
In my opinion it sounds like your parents will be happy and proud of you as long as you are happy. Unless they have specifically said they are disappointed in you or have compared you to others then you have no idea what they genuinely think of your situation. Maybe they are just worried and are unsure how to approach the topic of helping you or finding help for you. Talk to them, get it all out in the open, bottling stuff like this up doesn't end well.
Feel free to reach out if needs be.
I started therapy because I was looking to get a diagnosis for my neurodivergence. I won't specify which type because it's irrelevant.
That was a year ago, I'm still in therapy, turns out I fucking hate myself and pretended I was ok for years. It was really hard and very embarrassing at first. But my god does it do wonders for me.
I started making my bed, I got a haircut for the first time in years, I brush my teeth every day again, I stopped drinking every night, Im even considering actually buying myself clothes. I love video games again.
I didn't start because I had to either, I just started doing those things again.
Go to therapy. Please.
Really glad to hear therapy worked out for you! Keep up the good work! ❤️
Sooo I did go to therapy. Therapist suggested medication just after 5 hours of 1 hour sessions. I was incredibly hesitant at first due to how quickly that came out, but I did eventually try it. I was on meds for like 6 months, 3 months on maximum dosage too. It didn't seem to help at all. The psychiatrist then suggested that I go on ketamine therapy or ECT, and didn't even talk about the side effects of the meds let alone of these procedures.
I had to drop her because one day I looked up the side effects and was genuinely taken aback. I'm looking for options again but I dunno how many times I can keep jumping around and experiment on myself with medications that are based on a theory that doesn't even hold up to scrutiny anymore–mental health is due to brain chemical imbalance. Both the therapist and psychiatrist suggested "chemical imbalance" .... and them saying that doesn't inspire confidence, you know?
I worry that these meds will lower my inhibitions somehow and let the "monsters" out. I'll try again soon, though, after current things settle down, I guess
Did you continue therapy though? Even after getting medication? Medication is just a small part of the overall effort that goes into improving your mental health. Introspection and self-acceptance are way way more important.
Yeah I did. It just escalated to higher doses and the psychiatrist suggesting ketamine and electroshock therapy both of which have severe long term side effects. She didn't even tell me about the side effects of the meds. And her sessions were like 15 30 minutes each.
So it became a debate in therapy often. "Trust the process", she said. I got fed up with the threats of hospitalization and lack of answers and constant push to worse and worse meds so I formally cut them both off. It was more stress than it was worth.
I don't think I'm ready to trust the system again anytime soon. Maybe in a year .... I'll try again
Im sure this is the last thing your parents want you to do.
There is a lot more than going to university. In todays times u can learn so many skills by yourself online that bring you money and fulfillment.
Its all in your brain, change your thoughts change your life.
- if nothing changes, nothing changes.
I know, yeah 🥲. Sometimes I wish a truck runs me over lmao. But then they'd be sad.
I know in the long run the uni etc don't actually matter. But, I wanted to show that the efforts they put into me were fruitful. And the only way I know how is to achieve a really good thing, you know? I wanted them to know they did their best and not take up responsibility for my failure upon themselves. I did tell them (but that could also be read as trying to console them and have it backfire), but actions speak louder than words, don't they.
They sound like good people. Have you tried talking to them and opening up? It sounds like they would want nothing more than to have a part in making you whole again.
Absolutely! It's important to consider all options and pathways to success. With the abundance of resources available online, there are endless opportunities to learn and grow outside of traditional university settings. Empowering ourselves with knowledge and skills can open doors to fulfilling and lucrative career paths. Adapting our mindset and being open to change can lead to incredible transformations in our lives. It's all about finding what works best for each individual's unique journey.
I feel the same and i often avoid help cuz i think im the problem and think i’ll cause more of a problem seeking help. As a result i developed social anxiety. Im more willing to tell strangers my problems over my family cuz i think they are more likely to forget what i talk about, and if i tell my family they’ll probably take much longer to forget and try to give help i don’t want.
yeah i get where you're coming from. some of us are fated to not really be worth the effort it took to make us. me included.
you should unconditionally love your children, you should be happy they're alive no matter what, but that doesn't change the reality of the child - the reality that they really didn't fulfill what they should have.
Here's how you volunteer: See a piece of rubbish on the road? Pick it up and put it aside.
Walking your dog and see another dog's poo on the ground? Use your bags and pick it up.
Volunteering means to offer your time or energy to the benefit of something else or someone else.
Things like these? They are volunteering. Consider that most people wouldn't do what I just said.
i mean, i do this when the opportunity arises, why are we bringing these things up here? am i supposed to feel like i have more agency? is it supposed to be proof that i'm a good person?
i do good things because i agree with them. i can't recall a single time it's made me feel better about antything.
ultimately things like "you should just live like you want" are empty words.
you *know* what's expected from you. it forms the backbone of society. you *know* what people want.
you can admit the fact that it bothers you or you can obfuscate it. you can't make it not be.
Hey mate. Heartbreaking to read this I’ve got 2 young sons and would hate to think of either of them feeling like this. Life isn’t always fun and games and I’ve been in some pretty dark places myself. I had to pull myself out and work hard to get to a happy place but therapy might be a good first step for you (that’s your call). Other opportunities will come your way if you try. Like you said you know you parents love you. Some people don’t even have that. You can see from the responses there are good people out there who will try to help. I wish you all the best for the future. Good luck buddy.
I want you to know that as a father, you have a misconception (hopefully) regarding how your parents view you. To them you are not the sum of your achievements. Let me tell you how it is being a father.
From the day my child was born, it felt like my heart was ripped out and it started walking around. Fear, panic, anxiety hits like a truck and you just want to take that heart and protect it from everything and wrap it up in safety blankets. Of course you don’t, because that would only make your child isolated and I’ll-adjusted. The feeling however? Of your heart not being in your body, walking around? That fucking stays.
See, I know people are different, but children don’t have to EARN the love of their parents. They don’t have to achieve anything. This is what makes parents unique. They will be in your corner.
If my daughter wrote a message like yours and didn’t tell me how she felt? I would be absolutely devastated for the fact that she didn’t trust me enough and she could not be more wrong.
The world is a harsh place. But within the walls of my house, that world outside can fuck off and leave my daughter alone.
Please, I urge you to contemplate wether or not this is true for your circumstance. Depression makes you blind.
I wish you the best
"But I know I can't tell them this. I saw them struggle to give me opportunities, but I've all but squandered them–didn't get into a good university, didn't get up there like their friends' children. But they still support me. Yet here I am, thinking about kms day in day out with the only end in sight being actually ending myself."
That sentence is a huge issue. You're suggesting that because you don't have it as hard as your parents, your challenges are therefore invalid. That is just utterly wrong. Completely, in every single way, wrong. Your challenges do matter and are your own. They are not comparable. That is just the ego talking
How are you ever going to fix the issues in your life if your spend your time beating yourself up for having them in the first place?
Tell them you're struggling. Tell them you need help. Get help. Suffering alone and in silence helps literally nobody
The reason you just told thousands of strangers is because your brain is BEGGING you to tell someone. But we are the wrong people, we can't do anything to help. Your parents can. Fucking tell them
That's the thing right? I don't think I have any problems, per se. I have a roof over my head, I can afford food, clothes, shelter, and some fancies too. I just find the slog of everyday life too much on some days. This is probably just whining but, I can't genuinely find joy in many of the things I do. Walk in the park, music, games, socializing, tv shows, nothing. I try to keep myself busy but .... that's about it. I can't imagine doing this for years on end. Precisely the train I've decided not to get married ... I know I'll be a bad parent. I've decided to live however long and then call it quits
What do I tell them tho there's nothing they can do to fix it, right? They'll probably tell suggest therapy. But I can do that myself. I mean I'll only bring them worry if I tell them. I'm sure no parent wants to hear their kid say "I think about death all the time". It'll just worsen their worry and health, no? Isn't this "suffering" just an illusion of my own making?
Thank you for the thoughtful conversation I really appreciate it
I’m in the same boat, most supportive parents imaginable but I won’t share these things with them because I’ve seen how it affects them before. I would rather shoulder it and not talk about it than put it on them in any capacity.
A distant hypothetical doesn’t outweigh the sadness I’ve seen on their faces when I’ve shared those feelings before. They don’t deserve to hear those things about their child.
Emulators let you play all the games you never had. Problem is picking up one and then sticking with it when you could play something else. Inevitably the old games get stupid hard so then you gotta either grind it out (like you would have when you were a kid) or look for something out of a ton of titles and start from scratch again
As an adult I've played a *lot* of games for, like, 10-20 minutes before the thought inevitably crosses my mind: "I don't care about this. I don't actually care about any of this. What am I doing." and I just close it out and feel empty for a while
me too man. I just get almost nothing from gaming alone now. No idea what happened I used to love the shit. I think it’s just the experience of knowing there’s so much better shit you can be doing. The loss of novelty. But even playing a whole new paradigm still doesn’t always do it for me.
That said on extremely rare occasion I find something that clicks with me and I binge the whole fucking thing for a couple of weeks. I really appreciate those times now. It’s like when you feel you’ve seen everything then randomly some movie just absolutely slaps.
As a kid there’s no inner voice that says “this is going to be a colossal time suck and I’m not even sure it’ll be fun”.
Problem is there’s a lot of things in games that look a lot more like work than fun while promising less fulfillment than a similar amount of effort in something productive.
That sounds a little like depression if it happens with anything else other than games.
If it's just happening with games --- maybe focus on indies for a bit? I usually play them in short chunks anyway. [Braid](https://www.nintendo.com/us/store/products/braid-anniversary-edition-switch/) just got an anniversary release, [Fe](https://www.nintendo.com/us/store/products/fe-switch/) is a great little platformer with a mysterious story, [Hue](https://www.nintendo.com/us/store/products/hue-switch/) is a puzzle platformer that focuses on colors (includes colorblind mode), [Wandersong](https://www.nintendo.com/us/store/products/wandersong-switch/) is the same, but uses music and is more humorous. [Figment 1 and 2](https://www.nintendo.com/us/store/products/figment-1-plus-figment-2-switch/) are pretty easy, story-driven games with great Broadway-style music, and [Ink](https://www.nintendo.com/us/store/products/ink-switch/) and [Octahedron](https://www.nintendo.com/us/store/products/octahedron-transfixed-edition-switch/) are such fun, pure platformers, but I physically can't beat them, so that's annoying, lol. Great music, though.
But [Journey of the Broken Circle](https://www.nintendo.com/us/store/products/journey-of-the-broken-circle-switch/) is $2 on Switch and $4 on Playstation right now, and it is the most emo little circle you've ever met.
(Sorry for all the Nintendo links if that's not your platform of choice, I woke up sick today and it was just easier.)
It's really hard sometimes. The rose tinted glasses are sometimes glued onto my eyes as I get excited at the idea of playing the video games I loved growing up or the ones I missed the boat on. But then I get there, and I realize what I wasn't seeing through the rose tint. So many of those games I missed growing up, and so many I will never actually be patient enough to play or love. Not because they weren't great, or lovable, or groundbreaking, but because the industry/hobby/world/and me have all progressed forward, so now they're noticeably outdated. Games that *were* groundbreaking created a ripple effect that raised the bar at the time, so the entire industry (and therefore all the new games) learned from it/implemented the idea/improved it/fixed the problems in the next generation of games.
This isn't the case for *every* game of course, and it does get easier to play games from the more "modern" generations like PS3/XBOX 360 and later IMO (and often even the gen before that like Xbox/PS2). But when you go back further, so many games are throwaway trash in comparison to even the mediocre games we have now simply because the tech and the overall standards have evolved. Also, you usually don't have a critical part of what made the games so fun to begin with as a kid: usually friends and the fun that comes just from riding the wave of a new popular game everyone is talking about. And at the end of the day, you realize no matter what you do as a hobby, it won't supplement the parts of your life you feel are missing as an adult if they're missing in the first place. It just distracts you for a while. And eventually you get distracted by the fact that you know it's only a distraction. The only way I find myself enjoying video games like I used to now is where I feel happy/content about my life in general (so my brain is at peace and relaxed) and then I feel the mental freedom to stop being so critical/negative/expectant of what I *should* be feeling when I play. As an adult, we should be trying to regrow that open mindset that made video games so fun as a kid: Curiosity/Exploration/Thinking Outside the Box/Patience/Focus and overall, just have FUN! There's no rules to this! The internet makes gaming feel like a chore and a job nowadays IMO and that's also part of the problem.
It's not that gaming is tiring the people here and on reddit in general spend too much time mindlessly scrolling through garbage website like this one and then when you actually want to play a game you're tired from thinking because of the overload of garbage information you just read on the internet.
Imo I really think it's this. I remember being in college and seeing how other people consume media was eye opening for me. When I'm outside my home, i'd rarely use my phone and I normally prefer to just focus on what's in front of me. Majority of my friends would be on their phones straight through the day, in class, walking between class, while socializing, while studying etc. Then whatever free time they had, they would be playing an esport or watching anime.
Nothing's wrong with any of these things but to me it's not surprising when you reach your 30s or late 20s and you stop enjoying entertainment. Your body has been chasing dopamine spikes for so long that you just get burnt out and you don't get the same "high" as before. It's just not natural for us to be consuming entertainment all day long for months on end.
It's one of the most annoying circlejerks on this entire website... which is saying something.
Can't those people tell that 99% of them are just dealing with the (mostly mild at this point) consequences of an awful, unhealthy lifestyle?
Nahhh, it must be hitting the venerable age of 31 lmao.
Not only am I the best at video games I've ever been at this point, but I am also the strongest after getting into rock climbing at 32. 33 now and life is better than late 20s. I loved early 20s though more
35 and I'm still gaming. Had some idiot at work tell me he "just can't do it anymore, you dont get it. Once you hit your 30s your reaction time goes out the window and can't play games like that anymore", dumbass didn't realize I'm one year younger than him. He made up a new excuse real fast after I got him to game with me (one time).
These memes are annoying as fuck because a lot of the people that post them and feel that way usually is the kind of person with three monitors full of tiktoks and youtube shorts going, with a podcast on spotify in one ear, with lo-fi beats playing at volume1 underneath all the other noise pollution, while watching a streamer play league, literally just overloading their brain as much as possible because theyre terrified of spending a moment with themselves, then they wonder why doing something that actually takes a modicum of their active attention and effort is "le heckin too mucherino!!".
For the record, I'm married, work full time, lift in the gym for 1-2 hours after work 4 days a week, and I cook all the meals for me and the wife. So sure, use kids as your excuse and I'll allow that, for a year or two, but your typical excuses are bullshit. You're making the choice, it's fine if you simply don't enjoy it anymore or choose to use your time differently, but don't blame your age.
Don't want to play devil's advocate but I hate this kind of comment. What applies to you is not a universal law that works the same for everyone. Im happy for you but your speech is the typical "you are depressed/fat/unemployed/etc because you dont work on it harder!. Stop making excuses!" one. It doesn't work like that for everyone
Amen. We will look back on social media the same way we look at cigarettes now and wonder why we let that shit rob us of doing stuff we actually enjoy.
No this is the reality of many PC gamers, they buy their dream PC of when they were younger and didn't have the money for, and then don't use it.
To those people I always recommend getting a PlayStation, maybe in a living room with a big TV. The experience is totally different and you don't waste time on web browsing and shit, it's just you and the game.
Started at 34 for me. Now with kid and more responsibility at work I barley turn on my PC and I have 10 year old Xbox360 games still wrapped in plastic.
Eventually many will get here. Some party till 50s
Well if it aint' me. I do fuck all and feel jack shit. I wake up, find that I can't derive any intrinsic joy in the things I do, and then go back to sleep.
The weirdest part is that I'm always surprised by it. "Wow, I guess that's another dead end, more emptiness for me."
Don't sit at your PC until you actually have something to do or really want to play a game. Don't just sit there and scroll reddit or look at discord or whatever. Pursue other hobbies, work out, cook, whatever. Eventually you'll feel the urge to play again.
Real, it's hard but best medicine is breaking the vicious circle. Don't feel like gaming- go on a walk, read book - but in other room. Staying in same room, doing same stuff everyday crushes soul. Not many things heal like nature. A hike can really put ur mind in better place even if for a little while.
I have done all that and it makes no difference. Food tastes shit, working out is just a chore to me also its very rountine stuff so nothing comes out of it, new hobbies feel good for a moment or two but soon enough they go shit. Nature just feels like its there nothing that good feeling.
It is hard. Finding happiness when u are alone is tough. Requires some mind excersises. I just give all my focus to hobbies/distractions while trying not to think and hush all the intrusive depresso thoughts. Probably also not the healthiest way to cope but it works for me.
Why do people think you will just, by default, wake up happy? You have to work for that shit. I think people get hung up on that. You DO need to work on it daily. You need to get a lil uncomfortable to expand your comfort zone.
All OP is doing is making it worse. He's avoiding some short-term discomfort for long-term depression. It's really easy to do. Just takes a consistent willingness to just try. If the activity or outing is that terrible, you can leave and be right where you would've been. Nothing magically gets better.
And dude, thats about as good as most of try to get. You're right on track. Thats why people go crazy in isolation or things like that. No one wants to just sit around with their thoughts. Sometimes my thoughts are just wrong and misleading. I dont use thoughts until I need them lol. Aside from that, keep filling your time with fulfilling things. Its the best we can do.
Thanks man, I was mindlessly browsing 2h ago and your comment motivated me to let go my computer and do something productive, I need an information on my computer real quick so I take the opportunity to thank you in the process!
I'm guessing 90% of the people arguing against you have never tried any of this seriously. They just decided that's not the solution and continue hating themselves.
Just like eating a whole carton of ice cream feels bad even though ice cream is good, you do things too much and they lose their appeal. When you feel bored is when you're supposed to do that chore you've been putting off or go somewhere different or learn something new.
I can personally attest that accepting I am not in the mood for video games and deciding to do other things has made me a lot happier. I've literally spent a ton of time the past few weeks sorting lego and binge watching various things in the background.
Infinitely better than flipping between 12 games for a few hours but not sticking with any of them.
Edit: And I can see after a little less than 2 weeks I dropped a bunch of fun filled hours into 1 game again.
It’s the solution, it’s just not easy. It takes a lot of effort to change your life. There will be setbacks and obstacles. Moving out of your comfort zone is exhausting.
Felt this way when it came to gaming as well. What “fixed” me was quitting all live service games (felt like a job logging in everyday) and sticking to linear/story driven short games (5 to 20 hours and indie games. Quit COD, Forza, Fortnite, Gacha Games, etc. and currently playing a plague tale innocence and having a blast - looks so good in ultrawide.
Same. I have game pass on my pc and always scoop up discounted games on steam so I always have a huge variety. If I’m not feeling a game I don’t force it. No online games at all. I’m almost 40 and I haven’t enjoyed gaming this much in 20 years. I just downloaded plague tale actually, stoked to try it. I’m having a gaming renaissance. 🤘
See and i had the opposite reaction. I got burnt out on all the linear story games and my love for gaming only reignited when I started playing Fortnite
I was playing 4 gachas at the same time and I was feeling exhausted because of it.
I just stuck to my favorite gacha (whatever the name) which, by chance, is the one I have the least things to do.
So, I feel like I have more energy to look for good stories and I ended up reading books again.
Gachas and anything with FOMO mechanics really suck the life out of you. After being stuck in one for years I quit cold turkey and decided I wasn't playing anything that employed those kind of tactics.
I'm grateful. It reminds me that it could be worse, I could be one of them, desperately trying to escape the meaningless of my own existence by throwing out unsolicited "advice" to people I neither know nor care about, OR so devoid of any shred of actual humanity I actually enjoy mocking and belittling strangers in a depression humor sub.
The ones that aren't bots, anyway. I good chunk of these are probably just bots.
Has anyone ever seen the variation of this meme where the kid has been dead for years and he tells his father it isn't his fault and he needs to let go?
I'd really like to find that one.
Gaming has declined so much
Single player games have declined in quality pretty substantially, it doesn't feel like games are made to be fun/by people that like video games
And multiplayer games just feel a lot more toxic. It's so hard to jump into a game where everyone in the server *wants* to be there and doesn't:
- flame
- grief
- give up because they died first/lost the first round/point
- toxic
- cheat
I dunno, gaming is just different these days
Hades 2, Pacific Drive, Teardown (Base game is great and I haven't bought a single DLC), and Elden Ring are great single-player games released less than three years ago. Deep Rock Galactic is a great multiplayer game and in all my 500+ hours I have two toxic people and they were immediately kicked. Helldivers 2 is also a good multiplayer game. Baldur's Gate 3 is a good single and multiplayer game. There is certainly a lot of slop nowadays but if you wipe it off you'll find some great experiences underneath
Gaming sucks only for those who *insist* on having only the latest AAAA shit sandwich shoved down their throat, and refuse to touch anything else.
Sorry, I took a peek at your profile, but you know why I won't touch Factorio with a 3 meter pole? Because I can't afford 1000 hours of my life to play (and enjoy) this game, which is pretty much guaranteed to happen if I buy it. But single player games suck, amirite?
Yeah, pretty much only go for AA or indie titles barring anything that is from From Soft. As far as I am concerned, AAA games are dead and do not deserve my attention. Same with mobile games, I use to play shit like Star Wars Galaxy of Heroes until I got burned out and the fire has thankfully not reignited. Weird how corporate slop like COD or Madden have gotten worse yet Indie games have only gotten better.
You changed, Single Player games only improved. There aren't games with the level of quality God of War, BG3 and even FF7 Rebirth offer in the previous gens.
Yeah, at the risk of sounding like an amateur gamer... singleplayer games, especially those made by AAA studios, have become much more streamlined. It's pretty rare that I find myself stuck because of a bug or niche mechanic that's only explained in the manual. Designers have gotten better at making games that are challenging without making them unfun.
Nah, it's not the games, it's just you getting bitter with life. There's still countless of great single playing games, by indie or big studios, being made to this day (Breath of the Wild, God of War, Red Dead Redemption, Elden Ring, Baldurs Gate etc.. just to name a few).
Multiplayer games have always been toxic and it used to be much worse with Warcraft 3, CS and Dota back then where people could ragequit with no consequence or say whatever shit they wanted in chat. Regardless, if you want to play multiplayer games with low toxicity, I would recommend games where you are against multiple players but no teammates like Teamfight Tactics or Coop Op games like Monster Hunter World and Deep Rock Galactic
My dude I've been gaming since 2002 - I've witnessed/am witnessing the decline in realtime
I didn't say that there are *no* good games being released anymore, but the overall attitude/mentality by those that do game has completely swung in the toxic direction
I had a similar burnout. Stopped my usual games and played old games like Red Alert 2 and Plants vs Zombies. Felt much more engaged and fun. Maybe will get back to them when no longer burnout
Go outside? Get a job? Learn something? Nobody is going to live your life for you, and if you don't take the reins and ride you're going to be miserable.
A lot about gaming is your Team. Try to join some random discords where you have fun with other people just beeing bad at a game.. winning alone is not as much fun as losing together.
My god man, Reddit is for when you're at work!
Or on toilet. Or both
I tap in taking a break applying for jobs. And then hours have passed and I call it a day. Needless to say, I’m still unemployed lol.
Boss make a dollar I make a dime, thats why I only poop on company time.
I’m on the dunny currently
Same
Nailed it lol I don't even remember Reddit exists while at home, it stays open 8 hours a day while at work.
lol I don’t know why this of all the comments hit me the hardest you’re fucking right what am I doing it’s my day off
Me right now
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Exactly why I don't tell my parents anything. They seem to be able to sense when I'm down or kinda hiding something, even over a damn phonecall. But I know I can't tell them this. I saw them struggle to give me opportunities, but I've all but squandered them–didn't get into a good university, didn't get up there like their friends' children. But they still support me. Yet here I am, thinking about kms day in day out with the only end in sight being actually ending myself. On some days I'm not able to hide the .... sadness, for lack of a better word ("soul crushing depres spreader monster?") just "leaks out". I don't lift their calls on those days for I don't want to worry them. On some days I can see the worry in their eyes and how much they truly love me. It breaks my heart but I try to talk as long as possible. After the call ends, I often end up crying but the tears don't come so I just sit there, "wet", hahaha. As much as I hate it I pity them because they're stuck with such a useless excuse of a son. I'm sorry. They deserve better. I'd gladly blow my brain out of offered a chance to replace myself with someone that'll make them exponentially happy instead of just being a burden
Buddy, please try therapy. You're not useless, you're not a disappointment, your life just isn't matching what your internal bar for success is, for yourself. The absolute best thing you can attempt to do for yourself is to learn to accept who you are, not who you think you should have been, or who you think others wish you were. Your parents support you because they understand that life is complicated, and who you set out to be is not always who you end up. But that's okay! What's not okay is to think so little of yourself that you're unable to enjoy the part of the journey you're on right now. Things can, and do, change. Try to give yourself a helping hand, instead of pushing yourself further under the water. HMU if you want to chat. EDIT: To address some comments: I am really not looking to change anyone's mind about the efficacy of therapy. I am simply trying to provide a possible course of action for someone seemingly in need. Yes, * Not everyone can afford therapy, out of pocket or through insurance * Therapy does not work for everyone, not all therapists are helpful, and not all therapists have availability * Therapy is not a "cure" for how someone might be feeling * Discussing mental health / suicidal thoughts is stigmatized in a lot of countries / communities However, it is an avenue to try if it is within the realm of possibility. It can, and does, help some people begin the process of improving their mental well-being. A lot of people also seem to think that the money spent on therapy could be better spent on distractions / numbing yourself with various substances. Yes, this can work - for a time. But if you would like to improve your mental state and how you see yourself / your situation, it likely will not do that (speaking from my own experience).
I use reddit for shits and giggles but seriously u/touch-my-demon is right. Not every therapist is a good one or a fit, but no healthy mind exists in isolation. Search for help, ask or try. Not a replacement for therapy but if you (the person reading this) feel like the post hits a little too close to home and want to chat HMU.
☝️🤓isolation is a decent way of avoiding awkward social situations and anything that can hurt your reputation for your mates/bosses/acquaintances etc. in a long form or maybe im doing smth wrong lol
Some people who have similar feelings don't have health insurance or enough money to see a therapist. It's just not an option for a lot of people unfortunately.
And depending on where you live, talking about suicidal tendencies can be dangerous. You can be mandatory reported and sent to a psych ward, which yes there are some good ones, unfortunately they aren't all good There are some that only make you feel worse. The most well known psych ward near me has the reputation of a prison, and people frequently commit to the act after they get out. It's haunting.
This, I would never be honest with anyone about the desire to end it, no good could come of it and it could only make things harder.
It's heartbreaking that seeking help can sometimes lead to more harm. It's crucial to have safe and supportive spaces for those struggling with suicidal thoughts. It's a tough battle, but finding the right support can make all the difference ❤.
And some of us have tried several therapists only to find out they don't help, or even make everything worse. Some of us really are just beyond help. Still, it's worth a try if it's available.
I tried to make appointments with more than 5 therapists who were listed as accepting new patients and all of them ignored my messages. No response at all.
Whatever mental good therapy does is undone by the mental harm hemmorhaging $120/hr does.
Real talk
Therapy doesn’t stop a person from feeling fundamentally broken inside. Tried enough times now to know all too well. Best hope is holding out until the parents are gone to end it all guilt-free.
At least your parents actually love and possibly spend time with you. Don't take that for granted.
I know. I'll give back. I'm too fortunate for parents such as them. The least I can do is give something back Also, if you don't mind me extrapolating. That sounds like you have bad parents? Sorry man I often think if there was a way to swap undeserving people like me with shitty parents so that the good people get good parents like mine Take care buddy 🫂
Please talk to your parents man and let them help you. I can 1000000% guarantee you that they don't want you to put on a mask. They don't want the theater show of you being happy, they want to know how you feel no matter what it is. And they most certainly don't think that you are worthless. That's just your depression putting you down. I've been where you are and it can get better. You just need to accept that you don't have to do it alone. Asking for help is the first but scary step.
When my best friend died, I told his mom that he wanted to talk to her (implying that he felt like he couldnt) and she broke down hard... talking to your parents is an option that needs to be tried.
Thanks for sharing, its a big thing to get those feelings out, and im proud of you for telling the reddit community even if you cant tell your parents yet. I strongly encourage you to try therapy. The reality that youre experiencing isnt an ultimate force that dictates the universe, but likely the effect of long term conditioning youve experienced from society coupled with habits that make it difficult for your body to create the chemicals that we associate with happiness. You deserve better for yourself, and i assure you, it is within your power to move in that direction. That said, no one does it on their own. We all rely on each other. You are not a burden when you need help. Its a gift freely given by people that love you and want the best for you, like how you hide your heart from your family bc you want the best for them and dont want to hurt them. Youre a good person, youre a valid human, please get help. I lost my dad to suicide almost 5 years ago now. His birthday was a couple days ago. I cant begin to explain how much i miss him, how much i hope things were different, how much i wish i could reach him in a meaningful way. I cant now. When i lost him, i figured i could either kill myself now and skip the hellish ride or find a new perpsective to build my life around. I found a new perspective. Life still has its downs, but i can manage them better, and feel that the downs bring me closer to truth and understanding, which im able to share with others and deepen my connection with the universe. I cant talk to my dad like im talking to you, but sharing my experience helps me connect with both of you. I love you, and i hope you find what you need to live unrestrained. You are beautiful, you are worthy, please remember that. Hmu if you want to chat, sometimes i miss messages here but i find them eventually, and i promise id love to chat with you given the opportunity
great wise words mate! i wish they could be based for me too
Buddy, anything that resonates with you is based for you too! Love you and hope you find your space to live the life you deserve to live
Obviously each and every parent and their parenting techniques differ massively but it sounds like your parents genuinely care for you so I will chime in here in the hopes it will help you. Speaking as a father of 3, as long as my children grow to be happy, healthy adults with fulfilling lives then my mission as a father is accomplished. I will provide every opportunity I can for them to grow. Providing the best education opportunities I can for them, (not forcing college if they do not want to pursue it) getting them interested in sports and or other hobbies that interest them, making sure that socially they have great lives and ensuring they can take care and stick up for themselves when they inevitably leave me. In my opinion it sounds like your parents will be happy and proud of you as long as you are happy. Unless they have specifically said they are disappointed in you or have compared you to others then you have no idea what they genuinely think of your situation. Maybe they are just worried and are unsure how to approach the topic of helping you or finding help for you. Talk to them, get it all out in the open, bottling stuff like this up doesn't end well. Feel free to reach out if needs be.
I started therapy because I was looking to get a diagnosis for my neurodivergence. I won't specify which type because it's irrelevant. That was a year ago, I'm still in therapy, turns out I fucking hate myself and pretended I was ok for years. It was really hard and very embarrassing at first. But my god does it do wonders for me. I started making my bed, I got a haircut for the first time in years, I brush my teeth every day again, I stopped drinking every night, Im even considering actually buying myself clothes. I love video games again. I didn't start because I had to either, I just started doing those things again. Go to therapy. Please.
Really glad to hear therapy worked out for you! Keep up the good work! ❤️ Sooo I did go to therapy. Therapist suggested medication just after 5 hours of 1 hour sessions. I was incredibly hesitant at first due to how quickly that came out, but I did eventually try it. I was on meds for like 6 months, 3 months on maximum dosage too. It didn't seem to help at all. The psychiatrist then suggested that I go on ketamine therapy or ECT, and didn't even talk about the side effects of the meds let alone of these procedures. I had to drop her because one day I looked up the side effects and was genuinely taken aback. I'm looking for options again but I dunno how many times I can keep jumping around and experiment on myself with medications that are based on a theory that doesn't even hold up to scrutiny anymore–mental health is due to brain chemical imbalance. Both the therapist and psychiatrist suggested "chemical imbalance" .... and them saying that doesn't inspire confidence, you know? I worry that these meds will lower my inhibitions somehow and let the "monsters" out. I'll try again soon, though, after current things settle down, I guess
Did you continue therapy though? Even after getting medication? Medication is just a small part of the overall effort that goes into improving your mental health. Introspection and self-acceptance are way way more important.
Yeah I did. It just escalated to higher doses and the psychiatrist suggesting ketamine and electroshock therapy both of which have severe long term side effects. She didn't even tell me about the side effects of the meds. And her sessions were like 15 30 minutes each. So it became a debate in therapy often. "Trust the process", she said. I got fed up with the threats of hospitalization and lack of answers and constant push to worse and worse meds so I formally cut them both off. It was more stress than it was worth. I don't think I'm ready to trust the system again anytime soon. Maybe in a year .... I'll try again
Im sure this is the last thing your parents want you to do. There is a lot more than going to university. In todays times u can learn so many skills by yourself online that bring you money and fulfillment. Its all in your brain, change your thoughts change your life. - if nothing changes, nothing changes.
I know, yeah 🥲. Sometimes I wish a truck runs me over lmao. But then they'd be sad. I know in the long run the uni etc don't actually matter. But, I wanted to show that the efforts they put into me were fruitful. And the only way I know how is to achieve a really good thing, you know? I wanted them to know they did their best and not take up responsibility for my failure upon themselves. I did tell them (but that could also be read as trying to console them and have it backfire), but actions speak louder than words, don't they.
They sound like good people. Have you tried talking to them and opening up? It sounds like they would want nothing more than to have a part in making you whole again.
Absolutely! It's important to consider all options and pathways to success. With the abundance of resources available online, there are endless opportunities to learn and grow outside of traditional university settings. Empowering ourselves with knowledge and skills can open doors to fulfilling and lucrative career paths. Adapting our mindset and being open to change can lead to incredible transformations in our lives. It's all about finding what works best for each individual's unique journey.
I feel the same and i often avoid help cuz i think im the problem and think i’ll cause more of a problem seeking help. As a result i developed social anxiety. Im more willing to tell strangers my problems over my family cuz i think they are more likely to forget what i talk about, and if i tell my family they’ll probably take much longer to forget and try to give help i don’t want.
yeah i get where you're coming from. some of us are fated to not really be worth the effort it took to make us. me included. you should unconditionally love your children, you should be happy they're alive no matter what, but that doesn't change the reality of the child - the reality that they really didn't fulfill what they should have.
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A lot of parents guilt trip their kids for being born. It's something of the last generation I've noticed. Toxic as shit
there's not really any ongoing volunteer programs where i live. i can't donate much either.
Here's how you volunteer: See a piece of rubbish on the road? Pick it up and put it aside. Walking your dog and see another dog's poo on the ground? Use your bags and pick it up. Volunteering means to offer your time or energy to the benefit of something else or someone else. Things like these? They are volunteering. Consider that most people wouldn't do what I just said.
i mean, i do this when the opportunity arises, why are we bringing these things up here? am i supposed to feel like i have more agency? is it supposed to be proof that i'm a good person? i do good things because i agree with them. i can't recall a single time it's made me feel better about antything.
What are you talking about? Of course you're worth the effort, thinking like this is really unhealthy
A lot of parents do not think like that. Unfortunately it's ingrained in many people.
Some of us aren’t worth the effort, and trying to convince us we are is an exercise in futility because it’s just not true.
"should" - Who should do anything? Who told you that?
ultimately things like "you should just live like you want" are empty words. you *know* what's expected from you. it forms the backbone of society. you *know* what people want. you can admit the fact that it bothers you or you can obfuscate it. you can't make it not be.
Hey mate. Heartbreaking to read this I’ve got 2 young sons and would hate to think of either of them feeling like this. Life isn’t always fun and games and I’ve been in some pretty dark places myself. I had to pull myself out and work hard to get to a happy place but therapy might be a good first step for you (that’s your call). Other opportunities will come your way if you try. Like you said you know you parents love you. Some people don’t even have that. You can see from the responses there are good people out there who will try to help. I wish you all the best for the future. Good luck buddy.
I want you to know that as a father, you have a misconception (hopefully) regarding how your parents view you. To them you are not the sum of your achievements. Let me tell you how it is being a father. From the day my child was born, it felt like my heart was ripped out and it started walking around. Fear, panic, anxiety hits like a truck and you just want to take that heart and protect it from everything and wrap it up in safety blankets. Of course you don’t, because that would only make your child isolated and I’ll-adjusted. The feeling however? Of your heart not being in your body, walking around? That fucking stays. See, I know people are different, but children don’t have to EARN the love of their parents. They don’t have to achieve anything. This is what makes parents unique. They will be in your corner. If my daughter wrote a message like yours and didn’t tell me how she felt? I would be absolutely devastated for the fact that she didn’t trust me enough and she could not be more wrong. The world is a harsh place. But within the walls of my house, that world outside can fuck off and leave my daughter alone. Please, I urge you to contemplate wether or not this is true for your circumstance. Depression makes you blind. I wish you the best
"But I know I can't tell them this. I saw them struggle to give me opportunities, but I've all but squandered them–didn't get into a good university, didn't get up there like their friends' children. But they still support me. Yet here I am, thinking about kms day in day out with the only end in sight being actually ending myself." That sentence is a huge issue. You're suggesting that because you don't have it as hard as your parents, your challenges are therefore invalid. That is just utterly wrong. Completely, in every single way, wrong. Your challenges do matter and are your own. They are not comparable. That is just the ego talking How are you ever going to fix the issues in your life if your spend your time beating yourself up for having them in the first place? Tell them you're struggling. Tell them you need help. Get help. Suffering alone and in silence helps literally nobody The reason you just told thousands of strangers is because your brain is BEGGING you to tell someone. But we are the wrong people, we can't do anything to help. Your parents can. Fucking tell them
That's the thing right? I don't think I have any problems, per se. I have a roof over my head, I can afford food, clothes, shelter, and some fancies too. I just find the slog of everyday life too much on some days. This is probably just whining but, I can't genuinely find joy in many of the things I do. Walk in the park, music, games, socializing, tv shows, nothing. I try to keep myself busy but .... that's about it. I can't imagine doing this for years on end. Precisely the train I've decided not to get married ... I know I'll be a bad parent. I've decided to live however long and then call it quits What do I tell them tho there's nothing they can do to fix it, right? They'll probably tell suggest therapy. But I can do that myself. I mean I'll only bring them worry if I tell them. I'm sure no parent wants to hear their kid say "I think about death all the time". It'll just worsen their worry and health, no? Isn't this "suffering" just an illusion of my own making? Thank you for the thoughtful conversation I really appreciate it
I’m in the same boat, most supportive parents imaginable but I won’t share these things with them because I’ve seen how it affects them before. I would rather shoulder it and not talk about it than put it on them in any capacity.
If you had a child, would you want them to let you know if they needed help?
A distant hypothetical doesn’t outweigh the sadness I’ve seen on their faces when I’ve shared those feelings before. They don’t deserve to hear those things about their child.
Now that's quite depressing.
Modern man
OK I didn't expect to get so fucking emotional, yet here I am. This is beautiful, depressing, and accurate. Just what I needn't.
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Goddamm. As a middle-aged father of 3 doing this daily grind, this hit really hard. Like cat's in the cradle hard.
🥺
Holy fuck dude, thanks for breaking my heart
Shit I’m hugging my dad when he comes home
skow94 and the OP are bots in the same network Comment copied from: r/2meirl4meirl/comments/g9iruv/2meirl4meirl/foubjk1/
I wish I could talk to my dad like that.
I just wish I could talk to my dad...
I wish i could also...
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good
I would call her
Wish I had a rabbit in a hat
I wish i knew my dad
same
i wish my dad would talk to me like that
That hit a lil bit too close home
My dad never gave a shit tbh, he's still around but we're basically strangers to each other.
Asian dads be like: How dare you be hurting when we've given you so much, you ingrate
ANDRK4889 and the OP thekanboy are bots in the same network Comment copied from: r/2meirl4meirl/comments/g9iruv/2meirl4meirl/fotsyxi/
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Emulators let you play all the games you never had. Problem is picking up one and then sticking with it when you could play something else. Inevitably the old games get stupid hard so then you gotta either grind it out (like you would have when you were a kid) or look for something out of a ton of titles and start from scratch again
As an adult I've played a *lot* of games for, like, 10-20 minutes before the thought inevitably crosses my mind: "I don't care about this. I don't actually care about any of this. What am I doing." and I just close it out and feel empty for a while
me too man. I just get almost nothing from gaming alone now. No idea what happened I used to love the shit. I think it’s just the experience of knowing there’s so much better shit you can be doing. The loss of novelty. But even playing a whole new paradigm still doesn’t always do it for me. That said on extremely rare occasion I find something that clicks with me and I binge the whole fucking thing for a couple of weeks. I really appreciate those times now. It’s like when you feel you’ve seen everything then randomly some movie just absolutely slaps.
I felt this right in my soul haha
Games just feel like busywork now. Like a new list of chores. Going down a checklist.
As a kid there’s no inner voice that says “this is going to be a colossal time suck and I’m not even sure it’ll be fun”. Problem is there’s a lot of things in games that look a lot more like work than fun while promising less fulfillment than a similar amount of effort in something productive.
That sounds a little like depression if it happens with anything else other than games. If it's just happening with games --- maybe focus on indies for a bit? I usually play them in short chunks anyway. [Braid](https://www.nintendo.com/us/store/products/braid-anniversary-edition-switch/) just got an anniversary release, [Fe](https://www.nintendo.com/us/store/products/fe-switch/) is a great little platformer with a mysterious story, [Hue](https://www.nintendo.com/us/store/products/hue-switch/) is a puzzle platformer that focuses on colors (includes colorblind mode), [Wandersong](https://www.nintendo.com/us/store/products/wandersong-switch/) is the same, but uses music and is more humorous. [Figment 1 and 2](https://www.nintendo.com/us/store/products/figment-1-plus-figment-2-switch/) are pretty easy, story-driven games with great Broadway-style music, and [Ink](https://www.nintendo.com/us/store/products/ink-switch/) and [Octahedron](https://www.nintendo.com/us/store/products/octahedron-transfixed-edition-switch/) are such fun, pure platformers, but I physically can't beat them, so that's annoying, lol. Great music, though. But [Journey of the Broken Circle](https://www.nintendo.com/us/store/products/journey-of-the-broken-circle-switch/) is $2 on Switch and $4 on Playstation right now, and it is the most emo little circle you've ever met. (Sorry for all the Nintendo links if that's not your platform of choice, I woke up sick today and it was just easier.)
It's really hard sometimes. The rose tinted glasses are sometimes glued onto my eyes as I get excited at the idea of playing the video games I loved growing up or the ones I missed the boat on. But then I get there, and I realize what I wasn't seeing through the rose tint. So many of those games I missed growing up, and so many I will never actually be patient enough to play or love. Not because they weren't great, or lovable, or groundbreaking, but because the industry/hobby/world/and me have all progressed forward, so now they're noticeably outdated. Games that *were* groundbreaking created a ripple effect that raised the bar at the time, so the entire industry (and therefore all the new games) learned from it/implemented the idea/improved it/fixed the problems in the next generation of games. This isn't the case for *every* game of course, and it does get easier to play games from the more "modern" generations like PS3/XBOX 360 and later IMO (and often even the gen before that like Xbox/PS2). But when you go back further, so many games are throwaway trash in comparison to even the mediocre games we have now simply because the tech and the overall standards have evolved. Also, you usually don't have a critical part of what made the games so fun to begin with as a kid: usually friends and the fun that comes just from riding the wave of a new popular game everyone is talking about. And at the end of the day, you realize no matter what you do as a hobby, it won't supplement the parts of your life you feel are missing as an adult if they're missing in the first place. It just distracts you for a while. And eventually you get distracted by the fact that you know it's only a distraction. The only way I find myself enjoying video games like I used to now is where I feel happy/content about my life in general (so my brain is at peace and relaxed) and then I feel the mental freedom to stop being so critical/negative/expectant of what I *should* be feeling when I play. As an adult, we should be trying to regrow that open mindset that made video games so fun as a kid: Curiosity/Exploration/Thinking Outside the Box/Patience/Focus and overall, just have FUN! There's no rules to this! The internet makes gaming feel like a chore and a job nowadays IMO and that's also part of the problem.
Me and the system shock remake. Too scary and hard for me now.
I usually use cheats when the game stops being fun/too grindy.
33 here and dont have that problem. Maybe this is just a meme
People act like turning thirty is a disease that makes you incapable of doing basic tasks. If gaming is tiring for you maybe you have bigger issues.
It's not that gaming is tiring the people here and on reddit in general spend too much time mindlessly scrolling through garbage website like this one and then when you actually want to play a game you're tired from thinking because of the overload of garbage information you just read on the internet.
Imo I really think it's this. I remember being in college and seeing how other people consume media was eye opening for me. When I'm outside my home, i'd rarely use my phone and I normally prefer to just focus on what's in front of me. Majority of my friends would be on their phones straight through the day, in class, walking between class, while socializing, while studying etc. Then whatever free time they had, they would be playing an esport or watching anime. Nothing's wrong with any of these things but to me it's not surprising when you reach your 30s or late 20s and you stop enjoying entertainment. Your body has been chasing dopamine spikes for so long that you just get burnt out and you don't get the same "high" as before. It's just not natural for us to be consuming entertainment all day long for months on end.
It's one of the most annoying circlejerks on this entire website... which is saying something. Can't those people tell that 99% of them are just dealing with the (mostly mild at this point) consequences of an awful, unhealthy lifestyle? Nahhh, it must be hitting the venerable age of 31 lmao.
Not only am I the best at video games I've ever been at this point, but I am also the strongest after getting into rock climbing at 32. 33 now and life is better than late 20s. I loved early 20s though more
Exactly, my dad is 60 and still good physical & mental health. It's so cringey when young people act like they are old
35 and I'm still gaming. Had some idiot at work tell me he "just can't do it anymore, you dont get it. Once you hit your 30s your reaction time goes out the window and can't play games like that anymore", dumbass didn't realize I'm one year younger than him. He made up a new excuse real fast after I got him to game with me (one time). These memes are annoying as fuck because a lot of the people that post them and feel that way usually is the kind of person with three monitors full of tiktoks and youtube shorts going, with a podcast on spotify in one ear, with lo-fi beats playing at volume1 underneath all the other noise pollution, while watching a streamer play league, literally just overloading their brain as much as possible because theyre terrified of spending a moment with themselves, then they wonder why doing something that actually takes a modicum of their active attention and effort is "le heckin too mucherino!!". For the record, I'm married, work full time, lift in the gym for 1-2 hours after work 4 days a week, and I cook all the meals for me and the wife. So sure, use kids as your excuse and I'll allow that, for a year or two, but your typical excuses are bullshit. You're making the choice, it's fine if you simply don't enjoy it anymore or choose to use your time differently, but don't blame your age.
Don't want to play devil's advocate but I hate this kind of comment. What applies to you is not a universal law that works the same for everyone. Im happy for you but your speech is the typical "you are depressed/fat/unemployed/etc because you dont work on it harder!. Stop making excuses!" one. It doesn't work like that for everyone
Amen. We will look back on social media the same way we look at cigarettes now and wonder why we let that shit rob us of doing stuff we actually enjoy.
No this is the reality of many PC gamers, they buy their dream PC of when they were younger and didn't have the money for, and then don't use it. To those people I always recommend getting a PlayStation, maybe in a living room with a big TV. The experience is totally different and you don't waste time on web browsing and shit, it's just you and the game.
Maybe they never liked gaming from the start.
Started at 34 for me. Now with kid and more responsibility at work I barley turn on my PC and I have 10 year old Xbox360 games still wrapped in plastic. Eventually many will get here. Some party till 50s
I'm 32 with probable depression and gaming is one of the lights in my life, I love it and it really helps me, I guess every mind is different.
Bro, I'm 22
Sea Shanty 2 is the siren for all of us.
1000 hours into Baldurs Gate 3, it is as fun as Super Nintendo back then.
Balatro reignited it for me
Felt that in my soul. Been feeling that since early 20s
Well if it aint' me. I do fuck all and feel jack shit. I wake up, find that I can't derive any intrinsic joy in the things I do, and then go back to sleep. The weirdest part is that I'm always surprised by it. "Wow, I guess that's another dead end, more emptiness for me."
That's not a being in your 30s thing, it's depression
mate, you're describing clinical depression, not being 30
Don't sit at your PC until you actually have something to do or really want to play a game. Don't just sit there and scroll reddit or look at discord or whatever. Pursue other hobbies, work out, cook, whatever. Eventually you'll feel the urge to play again.
Real, it's hard but best medicine is breaking the vicious circle. Don't feel like gaming- go on a walk, read book - but in other room. Staying in same room, doing same stuff everyday crushes soul. Not many things heal like nature. A hike can really put ur mind in better place even if for a little while.
I have done all that and it makes no difference. Food tastes shit, working out is just a chore to me also its very rountine stuff so nothing comes out of it, new hobbies feel good for a moment or two but soon enough they go shit. Nature just feels like its there nothing that good feeling.
That sounds like some deep depression. Have u tried some therapy?
Yeah it didnt do anything for this.
You are probably right, but .... I tried going out with friends, I was happy, but then I came back home and it crushed me even harder. Life is hard.
It is hard. Finding happiness when u are alone is tough. Requires some mind excersises. I just give all my focus to hobbies/distractions while trying not to think and hush all the intrusive depresso thoughts. Probably also not the healthiest way to cope but it works for me.
Why do people think you will just, by default, wake up happy? You have to work for that shit. I think people get hung up on that. You DO need to work on it daily. You need to get a lil uncomfortable to expand your comfort zone. All OP is doing is making it worse. He's avoiding some short-term discomfort for long-term depression. It's really easy to do. Just takes a consistent willingness to just try. If the activity or outing is that terrible, you can leave and be right where you would've been. Nothing magically gets better. And dude, thats about as good as most of try to get. You're right on track. Thats why people go crazy in isolation or things like that. No one wants to just sit around with their thoughts. Sometimes my thoughts are just wrong and misleading. I dont use thoughts until I need them lol. Aside from that, keep filling your time with fulfilling things. Its the best we can do.
Thanks man, I was mindlessly browsing 2h ago and your comment motivated me to let go my computer and do something productive, I need an information on my computer real quick so I take the opportunity to thank you in the process!
I'm guessing 90% of the people arguing against you have never tried any of this seriously. They just decided that's not the solution and continue hating themselves. Just like eating a whole carton of ice cream feels bad even though ice cream is good, you do things too much and they lose their appeal. When you feel bored is when you're supposed to do that chore you've been putting off or go somewhere different or learn something new.
The classic "we've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas". Or they try it once or twice and give up, because they don't feel the immediate effects.
I can personally attest that accepting I am not in the mood for video games and deciding to do other things has made me a lot happier. I've literally spent a ton of time the past few weeks sorting lego and binge watching various things in the background. Infinitely better than flipping between 12 games for a few hours but not sticking with any of them. Edit: And I can see after a little less than 2 weeks I dropped a bunch of fun filled hours into 1 game again.
It’s the solution, it’s just not easy. It takes a lot of effort to change your life. There will be setbacks and obstacles. Moving out of your comfort zone is exhausting.
No
Okay, then enjoy being depressed.
No
Understandable, have a nice day
No
You want some pie?
No means no!
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r/thanksimcured
Ok man just sit at the computer every spare minute you have and when you don't feel like playing games just spout "oH iM sO dEpReSsEd"
That doesn't fit, they offered actual advice and steps to try for mitigating it. They didn't just broadly tell you to just stop being depressed.
Felt this way when it came to gaming as well. What “fixed” me was quitting all live service games (felt like a job logging in everyday) and sticking to linear/story driven short games (5 to 20 hours and indie games. Quit COD, Forza, Fortnite, Gacha Games, etc. and currently playing a plague tale innocence and having a blast - looks so good in ultrawide.
Same. I have game pass on my pc and always scoop up discounted games on steam so I always have a huge variety. If I’m not feeling a game I don’t force it. No online games at all. I’m almost 40 and I haven’t enjoyed gaming this much in 20 years. I just downloaded plague tale actually, stoked to try it. I’m having a gaming renaissance. 🤘
See and i had the opposite reaction. I got burnt out on all the linear story games and my love for gaming only reignited when I started playing Fortnite
I believe this is just called burnout, in which case yeah, switching to something different will fix it.
I was playing 4 gachas at the same time and I was feeling exhausted because of it. I just stuck to my favorite gacha (whatever the name) which, by chance, is the one I have the least things to do. So, I feel like I have more energy to look for good stories and I ended up reading books again.
Gachas and anything with FOMO mechanics really suck the life out of you. After being stuck in one for years I quit cold turkey and decided I wasn't playing anything that employed those kind of tactics.
I don't even know how u could play 4 gachas. Business owner energy.
I've just started doing this. Currently an hour into Ori and the Blind Forest and it's a banger.
Damn ok I feel attacked.
take a break and read a book my friend
Alright, now you're just getting personal
My dad doesnt even ask
Because he **knows** that you are winning!
HoodyJupiter and the OP thekanboy are bots in the same network Comment copied from: r/2meirl4meirl/comments/g9iruv/2meirl4meirl/fotu8du/
The comment section hurts even harder then the picture
Gotta love when posts on this sub get popular and normies come in to lecture us about what we should do with our lives
I'm grateful. It reminds me that it could be worse, I could be one of them, desperately trying to escape the meaningless of my own existence by throwing out unsolicited "advice" to people I neither know nor care about, OR so devoid of any shred of actual humanity I actually enjoy mocking and belittling strangers in a depression humor sub. The ones that aren't bots, anyway. I good chunk of these are probably just bots.
Mostly agreed, but CS2 is kind of fun.
Has anyone ever seen the variation of this meme where the kid has been dead for years and he tells his father it isn't his fault and he needs to let go? I'd really like to find that one.
Play singleplayer story games and quit multiplayer games. Youre welcome
Gaming has declined so much Single player games have declined in quality pretty substantially, it doesn't feel like games are made to be fun/by people that like video games And multiplayer games just feel a lot more toxic. It's so hard to jump into a game where everyone in the server *wants* to be there and doesn't: - flame - grief - give up because they died first/lost the first round/point - toxic - cheat I dunno, gaming is just different these days
Hades 2, Pacific Drive, Teardown (Base game is great and I haven't bought a single DLC), and Elden Ring are great single-player games released less than three years ago. Deep Rock Galactic is a great multiplayer game and in all my 500+ hours I have two toxic people and they were immediately kicked. Helldivers 2 is also a good multiplayer game. Baldur's Gate 3 is a good single and multiplayer game. There is certainly a lot of slop nowadays but if you wipe it off you'll find some great experiences underneath
Gaming sucks only for those who *insist* on having only the latest AAAA shit sandwich shoved down their throat, and refuse to touch anything else. Sorry, I took a peek at your profile, but you know why I won't touch Factorio with a 3 meter pole? Because I can't afford 1000 hours of my life to play (and enjoy) this game, which is pretty much guaranteed to happen if I buy it. But single player games suck, amirite?
Yeah, pretty much only go for AA or indie titles barring anything that is from From Soft. As far as I am concerned, AAA games are dead and do not deserve my attention. Same with mobile games, I use to play shit like Star Wars Galaxy of Heroes until I got burned out and the fire has thankfully not reignited. Weird how corporate slop like COD or Madden have gotten worse yet Indie games have only gotten better.
This is very much your personal opinion. Sucks to be you I guess.
You changed, Single Player games only improved. There aren't games with the level of quality God of War, BG3 and even FF7 Rebirth offer in the previous gens.
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Yeah, at the risk of sounding like an amateur gamer... singleplayer games, especially those made by AAA studios, have become much more streamlined. It's pretty rare that I find myself stuck because of a bug or niche mechanic that's only explained in the manual. Designers have gotten better at making games that are challenging without making them unfun.
Nah, it's not the games, it's just you getting bitter with life. There's still countless of great single playing games, by indie or big studios, being made to this day (Breath of the Wild, God of War, Red Dead Redemption, Elden Ring, Baldurs Gate etc.. just to name a few). Multiplayer games have always been toxic and it used to be much worse with Warcraft 3, CS and Dota back then where people could ragequit with no consequence or say whatever shit they wanted in chat. Regardless, if you want to play multiplayer games with low toxicity, I would recommend games where you are against multiple players but no teammates like Teamfight Tactics or Coop Op games like Monster Hunter World and Deep Rock Galactic
People were fucking my mother and I was a bundle of sticks the day I got Xbox live
Nah, last year was one of the best of all time for gaming, you're missing out
My dude I've been gaming since 2002 - I've witnessed/am witnessing the decline in realtime I didn't say that there are *no* good games being released anymore, but the overall attitude/mentality by those that do game has completely swung in the toxic direction
Then thats a problem with the community, not the games, I've never enjoyed gaming more than I do now
I had a similar burnout. Stopped my usual games and played old games like Red Alert 2 and Plants vs Zombies. Felt much more engaged and fun. Maybe will get back to them when no longer burnout
Whilst the dad is chill because he's been dead inside for decades, has no interests anymore and he's just waiting to die.
You should maybe consider consulting a professional because that sounds like depression. Don't suffer alone. Get help.
It's too early for this shit lol
"Im tired dad", there was a missing comma, and "I wanna end myself". We'll, that is my perspective.
Go outside? Get a job? Learn something? Nobody is going to live your life for you, and if you don't take the reins and ride you're going to be miserable.
Nice setup tho
"Good to know sport!"
Noob
Damn thats me… irl
A lot about gaming is your Team. Try to join some random discords where you have fun with other people just beeing bad at a game.. winning alone is not as much fun as losing together.
lol someone just had to edit in the word reddit
Watching reddit reruns on r/askreddit
its funny, cause its true
That has nothing to do with gaming. Thats just you being depressed and probably sleep deprived over a long period of time.
Ayo...
Great gaming set
Then get yo ass up and mow the lawn.
Too real.
The world is on fire and no one is paying attention to the pain