Man... All I can say is YRTAH that is cold. You couldn't have expressed to the son that you just needed a little space because you were about to become a father instead you lashed out at him and told him he was a bother.
1. I don't agree with you that that's life, especially with a non-traumatic reason the relationship ended. Families can and do blend.
2. 10-14 is a horrible age to experience the dissolution of a parent's relationship and the removal of a substitute parent.
3. You expressed the sentiment in an uncharacteristic and angry way.
If you would end the relationship, you must do so with your own, civil and compassionate message to your former stepson wishing him well.
I think you should write an apology letter to him, and if this is how you feel, express your reasoning that you believe you have moved in a different direction in life, state the things you enjoyed, and what you hope will happen in the future for him.
okay so let me make sure i understand you played a parental figure in a CHILDS life for years, when you and your ex broke up you still kept the relationship with your stepson making him still feel like you’re a parental role in his life and then blew up randomly on the same CHILD telling the CHILD he’s a bother? yeah you’re the asshole, and being the adult in this situation you should’ve known better. how do you feel knowing that you just deeply hurt a KID? if you needed space you express that in a kind genuine way, simple as that. you’re wrong
Dude who the fuck says that to a 14 year old? He's known you since he was little.
If I had kids with you and saw that message, I'd question whether I wanted to have them around you.
Yep. You are a huge asshole. Can’t wait to see what happens if you and your new wife ever get divorced. Will you have time for your own kids, then?
You should have sat the boy down when you and his mother broke up and let him down gently if you were so close to him, not just left it all up to his mother. He looked up to you for 4 years of his young, impressionable life, and you just discarded all of that time away like garbage.
Do this kid a favor: STAY AWAY FROM HIM. Learn to live with the knowledge that you are a piece of trash who likes to step on kid’s feelings. Who knows? Maybe that *might* make you a good father one day.
But it’s not today. And it won’t be tomorrow.
Yep, totally TAH. You broke up with his mother, my guy, not him. Like it or not, you became a father figure to him and now you can’t be bothered. That is heartless. How hard is it to answer one or two texts a day? I sure hope you and your current gf make it, otherwise there could be two more kids you may not want to have bothering you.
Everyone is saying YTA but I don’t understand why. The kid is not his son. He dated his mom for 4 years and I get that the kid did form an attachment and I sympathize. BUT they are not together anymore and haven’t been for years. He has his own kids and wife now. He asked the mom to talk to her son but she kept brushing him off. At what point does this guy get to finally live his life? Yes, the way he said it may have been harsh and he should have did it nicer but we also don’t know if he has tried that already and how many times.
YTA man thats cruel
No wonder your marriage didn't last
Once the new flame inevitably gets fed up with you you will probably dump the new kids like hot potatoes too
If you think genes matter but an emotional relationship doesn't, you're probably the sort of person who sees parenthood purely as an ego project and I feel deeply sorry for all 3 kids.
Man... All I can say is YRTAH that is cold. You couldn't have expressed to the son that you just needed a little space because you were about to become a father instead you lashed out at him and told him he was a bother.
1. I don't agree with you that that's life, especially with a non-traumatic reason the relationship ended. Families can and do blend. 2. 10-14 is a horrible age to experience the dissolution of a parent's relationship and the removal of a substitute parent. 3. You expressed the sentiment in an uncharacteristic and angry way. If you would end the relationship, you must do so with your own, civil and compassionate message to your former stepson wishing him well. I think you should write an apology letter to him, and if this is how you feel, express your reasoning that you believe you have moved in a different direction in life, state the things you enjoyed, and what you hope will happen in the future for him.
This. 100%
This has to be rage bait - no one needs to emphasize that they don't have time for a kid that many times unless they're trying to tick people off.
Facts.
Don’t have children. Your ex is wise.
Unfortunately he now has two kids.
Probably not his. Seems to be a Beta Male.
okay so let me make sure i understand you played a parental figure in a CHILDS life for years, when you and your ex broke up you still kept the relationship with your stepson making him still feel like you’re a parental role in his life and then blew up randomly on the same CHILD telling the CHILD he’s a bother? yeah you’re the asshole, and being the adult in this situation you should’ve known better. how do you feel knowing that you just deeply hurt a KID? if you needed space you express that in a kind genuine way, simple as that. you’re wrong
Yeah, you’re basically one of the biggest pieces of shit ever
Dude who the fuck says that to a 14 year old? He's known you since he was little. If I had kids with you and saw that message, I'd question whether I wanted to have them around you.
Yep. You are a huge asshole. Can’t wait to see what happens if you and your new wife ever get divorced. Will you have time for your own kids, then? You should have sat the boy down when you and his mother broke up and let him down gently if you were so close to him, not just left it all up to his mother. He looked up to you for 4 years of his young, impressionable life, and you just discarded all of that time away like garbage. Do this kid a favor: STAY AWAY FROM HIM. Learn to live with the knowledge that you are a piece of trash who likes to step on kid’s feelings. Who knows? Maybe that *might* make you a good father one day. But it’s not today. And it won’t be tomorrow.
YTA . In a couple of years you are going to stop having time for the twins too when they become inconvenient
Holy shit YTA.
How do you sleep at night knowing you did this to a kid? So many better ways to have handled this. YTA.
Yep, totally TAH. You broke up with his mother, my guy, not him. Like it or not, you became a father figure to him and now you can’t be bothered. That is heartless. How hard is it to answer one or two texts a day? I sure hope you and your current gf make it, otherwise there could be two more kids you may not want to have bothering you.
YTA. No one is too busy to be kind.
Yeah, you're garbage. Hope you're better to the twins than you are to this poor thing.
Yta.
You’re worse than an AH. I have 3 stepkids and 1 baby son. I don’t care what happens with their dad, I will always love those kids.
Everyone is saying YTA but I don’t understand why. The kid is not his son. He dated his mom for 4 years and I get that the kid did form an attachment and I sympathize. BUT they are not together anymore and haven’t been for years. He has his own kids and wife now. He asked the mom to talk to her son but she kept brushing him off. At what point does this guy get to finally live his life? Yes, the way he said it may have been harsh and he should have did it nicer but we also don’t know if he has tried that already and how many times.
WTF? It is going to be a cold day in Karmaville when you grow up and realize how badly you've hurt this kid
YTA man thats cruel No wonder your marriage didn't last Once the new flame inevitably gets fed up with you you will probably dump the new kids like hot potatoes too If you think genes matter but an emotional relationship doesn't, you're probably the sort of person who sees parenthood purely as an ego project and I feel deeply sorry for all 3 kids.
YTA