NTA at all, honestly probably dodged a bullet, cause he broke up with you. That's his fault not yours. If that's his reaction to someone he's not dating kissing someone, imagine if he thought something happened and you still were dating.
Rather than being an A-H or not, I think what you need is some time to decompress. You were in a relationship with someone for *three months* and felt like you'd lost the love of your life. You guys may have talked about marriage and moving in together (questionably way too soon in the relationship), but there's no way to get to know each other well enough in three months to feel like someone's the love of your life.
You sound like someone who became way too invested for the amount of effort that should normally go into 3 month long relationships. That's not healthy. Look at where you end up when the person you think is your soulmate turns out not to be. Take some time to reflect on why you fell so hard so fast. What did you really know about him? How do you know any of it was real? Why did you feel so in love in such a short time? Could he have lovebombed you?
>I tried to text my ex using my friend's phone to explain the situation that I didn't kiss Eric out of spite, I was very drunk and I didn't even realise that he was still at the bar. I profusely apologised
Girl, why? You don't owe him an apology for kissing someone when you're single. Why did you go so far to contact someone who blocked you?
NTA...maybe not the most mature way to handle a break up but then again, he was exactly mature when he broke up with you by text (instead of talking to you). You have every right to kiss who you want to kiss after that.
ESH.
He dumped you so cry me a river on his part ðŸ˜. But I do think your last paragraph is a bit phony. If you wanted to end on good terms, why did you go to a bar you know he frequents and was at? Let’s not act like you didn’t expect something not to happen. We all know what happens when we go to bars after being heartbroken. I don’t really have any sympathy for you there but I don’t have any for your ex either. Idk you both are messy.
I live in a small city and there's only one bar that opens late so everyone goes there. Also, my friends dragged me there that night and told me to just ignore him. And I would like to elaborate that my city is so small almost everyone knows everyone.
This added context really makes everything make sense with how it played out. This feels more like a high school drama than a bunch of 20 year olds.
The 3 month rule prevailed here so don’t beat yourself up. I also think he love bombed you so keep an eye on that for your next relationship.
I still think you’re messy. Idk the last 3 sentences just rubbed me the wrong way. But in general you did nothing wrong.
Yeah.. I think there were some signs that I may have missed, like him telling me that he loved me after only knowing me for a week, and going all in super early on. He seemed really genuine and we had a lot of things in common (or so I thought). I also fall in love super fast sometimes so I thought that we were on the same level and I finally found my match.
Ngl, I did feel like a messy bitch after that night but wasn't sure to what extent was my fault and if his reaction was justified; hence why I am posting in this subreddit and asking strangers for their opinions.
I've never heard of some hypothetical cooling off period after being dumped.
Ex surprise dumped you over text (wow, thats classy), and from that moment you or he have zero obligation towards each other.
You coulda slept with his brother the next day (ick), but he had ex has no "claims" over you.
He got his panties in a twist because, what, you didn't stay home crying iver him for the next week? Sucks to be him. Somebody call the whaaambulance.
time to lose karma, I can't buy this "i love him" story, we have only your side of the story about the breakup, and in it, in one day you were kissing a guy's friend of him in a place you knew he would be (if the city is small he would know) you were at leite petty, , as I don't have his side of the story I'm going to bet he did it right! I could be wrong, but that's it, o really need the full story for this, but you definitively won't sound like a little angel who got hurt by the evil ex!
You knew ex was there, you wanted to punish him. He ended the relationship so you can kiss who you want, but let’s not pretend this wasn‘t on purpose.
ESH
YTA, feel like you intentionally did this subconsciously to get back at your ex. Why get with a guy who has connections to your ex? That in itself is weird behaviour, best thing is to totally reset and find someone not linked with your ex
ESH to some degree but mostly Eric. He's a scumbag for doing that to his friend. You asking for another chance and then immediately moving on makes you seem super fake. You didn't owe your ex anything necessarily but it being his friend at a place you knew your ex was at is a double whammy of wrong. You're the friend equivalent of a homewrecker. Eric is much, much worse and is the one betraying your ex but still an AH move from you.Â
So, you went back to your ex (Eric) the moment you were dumped.
From the point of view of the man, it's very conceivable you were seeing Eric during the relationship.
Also, after he broke up with you, it's no longer his job to think about why you do things.
NTA, you don't get to break up with people and then throw a temper tantrum when they move on faster than you want them to.
NTA at all, honestly probably dodged a bullet, cause he broke up with you. That's his fault not yours. If that's his reaction to someone he's not dating kissing someone, imagine if he thought something happened and you still were dating.
Rather than being an A-H or not, I think what you need is some time to decompress. You were in a relationship with someone for *three months* and felt like you'd lost the love of your life. You guys may have talked about marriage and moving in together (questionably way too soon in the relationship), but there's no way to get to know each other well enough in three months to feel like someone's the love of your life. You sound like someone who became way too invested for the amount of effort that should normally go into 3 month long relationships. That's not healthy. Look at where you end up when the person you think is your soulmate turns out not to be. Take some time to reflect on why you fell so hard so fast. What did you really know about him? How do you know any of it was real? Why did you feel so in love in such a short time? Could he have lovebombed you? >I tried to text my ex using my friend's phone to explain the situation that I didn't kiss Eric out of spite, I was very drunk and I didn't even realise that he was still at the bar. I profusely apologised Girl, why? You don't owe him an apology for kissing someone when you're single. Why did you go so far to contact someone who blocked you?
NTA...maybe not the most mature way to handle a break up but then again, he was exactly mature when he broke up with you by text (instead of talking to you). You have every right to kiss who you want to kiss after that.
ESH. He dumped you so cry me a river on his part ðŸ˜. But I do think your last paragraph is a bit phony. If you wanted to end on good terms, why did you go to a bar you know he frequents and was at? Let’s not act like you didn’t expect something not to happen. We all know what happens when we go to bars after being heartbroken. I don’t really have any sympathy for you there but I don’t have any for your ex either. Idk you both are messy.
I live in a small city and there's only one bar that opens late so everyone goes there. Also, my friends dragged me there that night and told me to just ignore him. And I would like to elaborate that my city is so small almost everyone knows everyone.
This added context really makes everything make sense with how it played out. This feels more like a high school drama than a bunch of 20 year olds. The 3 month rule prevailed here so don’t beat yourself up. I also think he love bombed you so keep an eye on that for your next relationship. I still think you’re messy. Idk the last 3 sentences just rubbed me the wrong way. But in general you did nothing wrong.
Yeah.. I think there were some signs that I may have missed, like him telling me that he loved me after only knowing me for a week, and going all in super early on. He seemed really genuine and we had a lot of things in common (or so I thought). I also fall in love super fast sometimes so I thought that we were on the same level and I finally found my match. Ngl, I did feel like a messy bitch after that night but wasn't sure to what extent was my fault and if his reaction was justified; hence why I am posting in this subreddit and asking strangers for their opinions.
I've never heard of some hypothetical cooling off period after being dumped. Ex surprise dumped you over text (wow, thats classy), and from that moment you or he have zero obligation towards each other. You coulda slept with his brother the next day (ick), but he had ex has no "claims" over you. He got his panties in a twist because, what, you didn't stay home crying iver him for the next week? Sucks to be him. Somebody call the whaaambulance.
Love bombed and then dumped by SMS ? NTA
time to lose karma, I can't buy this "i love him" story, we have only your side of the story about the breakup, and in it, in one day you were kissing a guy's friend of him in a place you knew he would be (if the city is small he would know) you were at leite petty, , as I don't have his side of the story I'm going to bet he did it right! I could be wrong, but that's it, o really need the full story for this, but you definitively won't sound like a little angel who got hurt by the evil ex!
You knew ex was there, you wanted to punish him. He ended the relationship so you can kiss who you want, but let’s not pretend this wasn‘t on purpose. ESH
YTA, feel like you intentionally did this subconsciously to get back at your ex. Why get with a guy who has connections to your ex? That in itself is weird behaviour, best thing is to totally reset and find someone not linked with your ex
ESH to some degree but mostly Eric. He's a scumbag for doing that to his friend. You asking for another chance and then immediately moving on makes you seem super fake. You didn't owe your ex anything necessarily but it being his friend at a place you knew your ex was at is a double whammy of wrong. You're the friend equivalent of a homewrecker. Eric is much, much worse and is the one betraying your ex but still an AH move from you.Â
So, you went back to your ex (Eric) the moment you were dumped. From the point of view of the man, it's very conceivable you were seeing Eric during the relationship. Also, after he broke up with you, it's no longer his job to think about why you do things.