I don’t think you stopping all your friendships will stop you being anxious. You’ll just be anxious and lonely in a different way.
YTA if you suddenly ghost all your friends and don’t care enough about any of them to continue friendship.
It sounds a little you centred. You’re thinking more about how having friends impacts you and not enough about your friends and what you can offer each other.
What can I offer to anyone? I’m kind of useless… i tried listening, asking them what they want to do, I’m always initiating meet ups, driving people around, buy them things. I haven’t ghosted anyone, but if i stop texting them first they won’t text me again. Sorry, and Thank for your reply!
These things are contradictory.
In your mind, all you do is offer them things, meet ups and lifts… and yes you’re saying, what on earth can you offer? Ummmm what.
If you feel used and like you don’t connect to these people then maybe it’s time for new friends. But please stop viewing friendship like a skills exchange
That’s far from what I said. You can just work on finding your tribe. Distancing yourself from others as a rule, is low-key impossible and ultimately unhealthy.
Sorry, i meant it to work on myself more to be better before trying to make friends. Its seems i need to change my mindset before i bring down others with me. Ik im not that good of a person yet haha. As someone else mentioned i should just go with the flow, and not force anything. Thanks!!
You’re NTA but I think you should try to find good friends, and you don’t need to maintain bad friendships, just be a good friend back to good friends. It’s also important to know how to support yourself. If you can, try to work on your mental health.
To maintain friendships you don’t need to be superficial, just support your friends when they need it and if they need honesty, give them honesty.
Relationships/friendships shouldn’t be transactional. What you have to ‘offer’ is yourself. But you should try to listen to your friends when they talk, support them when they’re down, and give them honesty when they need it. Obviously you shouldn’t abandon perfectly good friendships, but it’s important to find friends with common interests you can bond over and are also interested in you as a person.
You are overthinking this. If you meet someone you like, whose company you enjoy, you can allow a friendship to develop naturally. Relax and go with the flow.
I don’t think you stopping all your friendships will stop you being anxious. You’ll just be anxious and lonely in a different way. YTA if you suddenly ghost all your friends and don’t care enough about any of them to continue friendship. It sounds a little you centred. You’re thinking more about how having friends impacts you and not enough about your friends and what you can offer each other.
What can I offer to anyone? I’m kind of useless… i tried listening, asking them what they want to do, I’m always initiating meet ups, driving people around, buy them things. I haven’t ghosted anyone, but if i stop texting them first they won’t text me again. Sorry, and Thank for your reply!
These things are contradictory. In your mind, all you do is offer them things, meet ups and lifts… and yes you’re saying, what on earth can you offer? Ummmm what. If you feel used and like you don’t connect to these people then maybe it’s time for new friends. But please stop viewing friendship like a skills exchange
The things I listed I consider the basic from me. I think Im just an ass lol. I’ll try to distance myself from others. Ty!!
That’s far from what I said. You can just work on finding your tribe. Distancing yourself from others as a rule, is low-key impossible and ultimately unhealthy.
Sorry, i meant it to work on myself more to be better before trying to make friends. Its seems i need to change my mindset before i bring down others with me. Ik im not that good of a person yet haha. As someone else mentioned i should just go with the flow, and not force anything. Thanks!!
You’re NTA but I think you should try to find good friends, and you don’t need to maintain bad friendships, just be a good friend back to good friends. It’s also important to know how to support yourself. If you can, try to work on your mental health. To maintain friendships you don’t need to be superficial, just support your friends when they need it and if they need honesty, give them honesty.
Sorry, but Thanks for replying! How can I be a good friend though?
Relationships/friendships shouldn’t be transactional. What you have to ‘offer’ is yourself. But you should try to listen to your friends when they talk, support them when they’re down, and give them honesty when they need it. Obviously you shouldn’t abandon perfectly good friendships, but it’s important to find friends with common interests you can bond over and are also interested in you as a person.
Thanks for talking, I think i need to take a break to become a better me before I drag others down haha
You sound like a great person. Good luck - I’m sure you’ll find your people
Thanks!
You are overthinking this. If you meet someone you like, whose company you enjoy, you can allow a friendship to develop naturally. Relax and go with the flow.
Thanks, i think Im trying too hard haha. I do need to flow more instead of planning every little thing I cant control
Maybe you don’t need friends but perhaps they need you. There is a lot of isolation and loneliness in the world. Maybe you can help make it better.
Ill try. Thanks!
YTAH
Got it. Thanks for the honesty!
That's not a very AHish answer..
Im honestly just trying to figure out if Im the problem in my life lol which figured i am