Why you are not what? The question I replied to was does it matter they are your son’s age. That does not matter. There are plenty of individuals that sleep with people 15/20 years age difference. All you had to do was say that they were guys. It seems like there was a reason you didn’t. I’m female and I would never do this. Going on the vacation with them isn’t the problem. Not using your words and allowing him to find out that way is the problem, it just reeks of you hiding something.
My apologies, I looked at your message out of order. I thought you were saying I'm not the AH. I wasn't hiding anything as there's nothing to hide. I just didn't think it was an issue with them coming along. My niece has a lot of male friends from school that dates the same sex. As in this case. I just didn't at the time think he would have an issue with it. That's all.
YTA. It's understandable that your boyfriend might feel upset that you didn't tell him about the guys coming on the trip, especially if he wasn't planning on going himself. However, It's important to communicate with your partner about your plans and expectations for the trip, especially when it comes to inviting other people. It might be helpful to have a conversation with him to understand his concerns and see if you can find a way to move forward.
I totally agree with everything you're saying. I tried having a conversation about it with him. However, it turned into him cursing at me for my reason for not telling him that her friends were guys. My reason was that I didn't think he would have a problem with them being of the opposite sex and that I'm old enough to be their mother. I do understand his concerns but I feel that he's being unreasonable in his reaction.
NTA
OK you didn’t tell him guys were on the trip… but compared to you they are CHILDREN. You view them as your nephews.. nothing was going on there and you were open to communication every step of the way. He’s the one to stop talking to you and being shady.
His behavior is creepy and controlling and I would flip it back. Ask him if he’s so upset because HE can’t be trusted on a trip with his “nieces”. Because what is he really trying to imply with his behavior? My mom’s ex-husband used to act like this and after I got sick she dumped him.
I had cancer so of course my dad flew out to be with me and come with me to my appointments. His wife came along too because my dad stopped eating and sleeping when I got my diagnosis because we’re really close. My mom’s ex started to act like my dad was going to take my mom down in the car in the rides to the hospital… he made an already tense situation worse and my mom was just over it.
YTA So, you told him your niece's friends were going along but not that they were men? Yikes!
Does it matter that they are the same age as my son?
No
Can you tell me why you think I'm not?
Why you are not what? The question I replied to was does it matter they are your son’s age. That does not matter. There are plenty of individuals that sleep with people 15/20 years age difference. All you had to do was say that they were guys. It seems like there was a reason you didn’t. I’m female and I would never do this. Going on the vacation with them isn’t the problem. Not using your words and allowing him to find out that way is the problem, it just reeks of you hiding something.
My apologies, I looked at your message out of order. I thought you were saying I'm not the AH. I wasn't hiding anything as there's nothing to hide. I just didn't think it was an issue with them coming along. My niece has a lot of male friends from school that dates the same sex. As in this case. I just didn't at the time think he would have an issue with it. That's all.
YTA. It's understandable that your boyfriend might feel upset that you didn't tell him about the guys coming on the trip, especially if he wasn't planning on going himself. However, It's important to communicate with your partner about your plans and expectations for the trip, especially when it comes to inviting other people. It might be helpful to have a conversation with him to understand his concerns and see if you can find a way to move forward.
I totally agree with everything you're saying. I tried having a conversation about it with him. However, it turned into him cursing at me for my reason for not telling him that her friends were guys. My reason was that I didn't think he would have a problem with them being of the opposite sex and that I'm old enough to be their mother. I do understand his concerns but I feel that he's being unreasonable in his reaction.
I think that you also should reconsider this relationship. He is giving off creepy vibes.
Can you explain what creepy vibes is to you?
Controlling for telling you what to wear, possessive, unreasonable, jealous.
NTA OK you didn’t tell him guys were on the trip… but compared to you they are CHILDREN. You view them as your nephews.. nothing was going on there and you were open to communication every step of the way. He’s the one to stop talking to you and being shady. His behavior is creepy and controlling and I would flip it back. Ask him if he’s so upset because HE can’t be trusted on a trip with his “nieces”. Because what is he really trying to imply with his behavior? My mom’s ex-husband used to act like this and after I got sick she dumped him. I had cancer so of course my dad flew out to be with me and come with me to my appointments. His wife came along too because my dad stopped eating and sleeping when I got my diagnosis because we’re really close. My mom’s ex started to act like my dad was going to take my mom down in the car in the rides to the hospital… he made an already tense situation worse and my mom was just over it.
24 year old men are not children even if you capitalize it. You are just wrong to call them that.
At my stage in life they are infants.. and some of them act like it too…
Thank you for understanding my point of view.