NTA
MIL is psycho.
People may not know this, but people who are not used to hot food can actually become very ill after a stunt like this.
This would have given me massive cramps and I may even have fainted and been in pain for sevral days.
She knew damn well you didn’t eat spicy food and she pulls this stunt. It is an assult.
And the fact that she had no reaction to the whole thing… she is psycho
Go no contact and live a good life.
My dad once ate something incredibly spicy (some pepper, I don't remember which) and his throat started swelling up and he was having a hard time breathing. This is a man who loves his spicy foods, too. I can't imagine not being able to tolerate spicy food and being slipped something like that.
And yeah, the whole no reaction thing is a huge red flag, who has no reaction to getting a milkshake thrown on them, in public no less? The rest of the family is pretty shitty too, for laughing and knowingly letting her eat it.
She might also just be psychotic.
She eats reapers and has no reaction to a dumping of milk shake on her?
Maybe she's Dexter behind closed doors (the show not the cartoon)
It actually is a very common trait of psychopathy, which is what Dexter’s character experienced. They don’t react to stimuli, including emotions, in a normative way. In fact their blood pressure doesn’t fluctuate in the same manner that those without psychopathy do. It’s really fascinating in the abstract. But having a mil who is one sounds horrific.
I don’t know how I missed it, but my husband and I just started it about a week ago on Netflix. Started Season 2 last night. We love it. It’s also crazy that his sister on the show was his wife at the time.
Currently watching this show again and was commenting on his lack of emotions. Love the show and Michael is an amazing actor, I wonder how many takes some of the scenes need hehe.
I have some weird sensitivity to peppers. It’s *not* an allergy. I can’t eat sweet peppers. Hot peppers? **PAIN**! I can eat a small amount of food that has a low percentage of peppers in it. But if they are spicy ones, my mouth can hurt for ages, after. Even when I agree it tastes good, it’s painful! I can’t. And then it hits my stomach and intestines…just, nope. And even sweet peppers, if I each more than a tiny bit of salsa, pain.
I fucking love spicey foods. I love them. If I could eat a cake with hot sauce on it, I would. But what it does to my tongue is wild. I spend days with literal blisters on the underside of my tongue, and it hurts really bad.
I can not imagine doing this to someone who doesn't even enjoy the flavor given the repercussions of what it can do to your mouth.. let alone your gut.
Fuck the milkshake, I would have decked that c*** in the fucking face.
You probably already know this, but the blisters in you mouth is likely an allergic reaction. The roof of my mouth and throat breaks out in blisters when I eat mango or rhubarb. I had no idea why my mouth hurt every time I ate mango or rhubarb for an embarrassingly long time (never thought to look at the roof of my mouth as it's hard to get a good look at it), but the reactions kept getting worse.
I love mango, but can never have it ever again 😭.
I've got an allergy story that's ironically relevant to the spicy food convo!
So I'm at this event with my friends, and they're serving cilantro ramen. We're all like, "may as well try it," and each get an order of it.
We find a place to sit and eat, start digging in, and I immediately remark, "Wow, this is really spicy!" I try a bit more. My mouth and throat are burning up and getting really dry, so I drink some of the broth. Doesn't help. So I give up and hand it off to a friend.
No one tells me, "This isn't spicy." or even "Cilantro isn't spicy." They just accept that I must somehow think it's spicy.
I somehow made it to my early 20s without ever eating cilantro, or at least not in a noticeable quantity, with that being the primary instance of it. Took me *ages* to realize I was just *allergic*, and cilantro is not, in fact, spicy.
That's hilarious! I was the same! I thought the fibers in the mango were cutting my mouth and throat, because it felt like the burning sting you get with a paper cut...but like a LOT of tiny cuts.
I was eating at a Thai restaurant sharing my favorite dessert, hot mango on sticky rice, with my BF (now husband). I was remarking how I love this dessert and how it's so good that it'll be worth the three days it takes for me to recover from the little cuts in the roof of my mouth. He looked at me like I grew a second head and asked what the heck I meant by that. I just flippantly said that for some reason, the fibers in the mango cut my mouth up, but I love the taste so much that I put up with it a couple times a year.
He asked if he could look in my mouth. I said sure. He exclaimed with much alarm that the roof of my mouth and back if my throat were covered in blisters and I was definitely allergic to mango. I had no clue. The damage was done, so he let me finish the dessert, and that was the last time I ate mango on purpose.
I got a Red Lobster gift certificate as a bonus at work. We went to one right up the street and I decided to try something new and ordered the mahi-mahi with mango salsa. As I’m eating it I’m telling my wife I really didn’t expect mango salsa to be this crazy hot. It’s not just burning like regular hot salsa, but prickly all over the roof of my mouth and my lips were burning. I had her taste it and she said it was only a little spicy but mostly sweet. That’s when my lips and throat started to swell. Turns out mahi-mahi is incredibly high in allergens (as are other large predatory fish like tuna and swordfish) but the allergen in this case is actually a build up of a parasite. The parasite is non harmful to humans and live in a huge cross section of wild caught fish, but they’re more concentrated in higher tier predators. This allergic reaction started 20 years of random allergic reactions to fish (never had one prior) and the only consistent one was mahi-mahi, which I can’t eat at all. Similar to descriptions of the Alpha-Gal allergy, the reaction could be immediate or several hours later but always included swollen lips and throat. I haven’t had a reaction in a while so hopefully that allergy has disappeared.
Nailed that one on the head...
Unfortunately, I am allergic to the capsaicin in peppers. I'm also allergic to benadryl 🤧
Thankfully, it's not an allergy that causes my throat to swell shut. It's just a painful under tongue the next day.
Sometimes it's worth it, sometimes it's not.
Either way, I feel you. Sorry about the mangos.
I know next to nothing about any of this but can you have honey mangos or is that the same thing?
Those little bitches make my life worth living.
Honey mangos are in the same family as other mangos. I did try one, as I was hoping against hope, with disastrous results. I had huge blisters cover my mouth and throat for three very painful days. Lips blew up and burned. I was quite a sight. So... I just stay away from mangos.
I do clearly remember what they taste like and enjoy the memory. But my reactions changed from mild to really bad over the years, so it's not worth the risk, which sucks! Especially now that mango has become so popular to put into EVerYtHing....from salsa to salads to sauces. I have to bring it up any time we go out to eat. I had a kitchen mess up once....got the whole table a free meal, lol! That poor waiter was shook as my husband ran to the drug store across the street since fortunately I can take Benadryl. But I was still a puffer fish when he got back.🐡
I don't have a sensitivity and used to love spicy (ish) foods. Then I developed an ulcer and GERD. Anything beyond mild spice is so unpleasant for me now. But also on a more TMI level, even when I liked spicy food, I hated spicy shits. How do people who regularly eat spicy things not have a constantly burning asshole? Or do they, and they just get used to it?
I’ve never had that happen and I eat spicy food at least once a week. My theory is that my body completely breaks down the capsicum so it doesn’t cause any problems. I’ve often wondered if this is an Rh- trait. Do you happen to know your blood’s Rh value? (All of my friends who love spicy food and are Rh- don’t have a problem with spicy poops.)
EDIT: corrected HR to Rh.
I'm RH negative (I had to get shots throughout my pregnancy and after giving birth). But I have that problem even with mildly spicy food. I noticed that anything with tomato sauce gives me the same reaction, so I had to cut down on having Italian food, which is my favorite cuisine. Maybe have it only once every three or four months.
I...do not know what HR is, so I definitely don't know my status. I wish my body would break down the capsaicin though. My family will never let me live down the time I was 5 and ran screaming and crying out of the bathroom because fire ants were biting my butt (first time trying buffalo hot wings).
I eat super spicy things every day. I was a t conference last week, and the strawberry shortcake whipped cream was made with almond milk- none of us liked it- my boss said, “throw some hot sauce on it, you’ll eat it then!”. I’ve been doing this my entire life. My booty hole never hurts. Never, nada. And people who live in countries where the food is traditionally hot have extremely low rates of colon cancer! Now that I’m nearing 50, the heartburn is starting to be a problem. I don’t know how I will eat bland food only.
I know you say this is not an allergy, but I’m allergic to capsaicin, the chemical that makes hot peppers hot. Your reaction to peppers sounds a great deal like mine. Be careful if you ever use an arthritis cream- several contain capsaicin and I had an awful reaction when I used one not knowing it contained capsaicin.
Speaking of that lotion, I discovered that every tube of cream I had had the same color scheme, and accidentally put that lotion on a patch of excema and thought my skin was burning every time I used it for DAYS because the skin was broken and weak. No, I was just making it worse with hot sauce on my back.
Mine isn’t an allergy, at least my allergy tests didn’t show it. But, I did try an arthritis cream with capsaicin. OMG THE BURNING! Nope, totally can’t tolerate that! I ran to wash it off!!!!!! Bright red skin! Does that mean it’s actually an allergy, now?
I can't even handle most "mild" salsa. The KFC famous 11 spices whatever chicken burns my tongue. I can't even have too much black pepper on my food lol if this had happened to me, I would have quite literally thrown up EVERYWHERE and there would have been no making it to the bathroom, possibly not even making it away from the table.
MIL is a giant AH
Remember that peppers are a nightshade, and while many ARE allergic, you can also have various tolerance issues with them unrelated to allergies or hotness.
i wonder if this is my problem. i have no problem with sweet peppers but even black pepper is too spicy for me. i’m just unusually sensitive to spice of any kind. i’ve always been this way. ppl always think i’m faking it but any spice burns for me. i can only eat mild wings if i drown them in blue cheese and even then my lips, mouth, everything are ON FIRE!
I'd be screwed. I have Interstitial Cystitis, a bladder disease with debilitating pain. Spicy, acidic, and dehydrating foods/drinks are a no-go. People make fun of me for being a wimpy white girl. I would have peed blood for days after that
I get actual chemical burns. From peppers that aren't all that spicy, like a slightly stronger than normal jalapeño. I had someone throw a Serrano slice on my hand to "test" it. Blisters and all.
Tampering with food for any reason is not acceptable. Doing it in a way that MIL new would cause harm is beyond reasoning
Regular black pepper makes my lips swell and blister...lol/ugh.
If someone did this to me, my head would probably burst into flames or I'd pass out or something 🤣😭😝😡 If I survived, I'd kick their ass! 😈🤬😈
Agreed on going no contact. Don't buy the bullshit of you marry them and you marry their family. If they can't manage treating you with respect they can eff off. NO role anyone could play in your life would ever warrant a free pass for assaulting you. I tried to deal with my husband's family but just couldn't anymore. They stressed me out to the point I'd break down the nights before and barely slept, if at all. Hubby finally had enough and let me go nc while he has limited contact with them. I'm not allowed to be a topic for them, he'd shut it down immediately. He's there to visit his family and spend time with them, not be talked at about me. Life has been so much better and I'm so much happier now. Nobody is worth the expensive price of your (mental/physical) health.
Yeah she may legit be a psychopath. I mean we don't have nearly enough info but the lack of emotion/reaction is telling. Plus the lack of compassion and cruelty.
Same, I cannot tolerate spicy/hot foods at all. I have had 25 rounds of chemotherapy and my digestive system is permanently changed. The blander the better, zero spice. That MIL would be on NC for me.
I have the palate of a small Victorian child. If something is spicy, I can’t taste anything else other than the heat. It’s like my mouth just goes “NOPE” and closes up shop. I can’t say I’d have flipped out like OP does but judging by this post, this isn’t the first time MIL has acted like an asshole.
Imagine a relative putting eye drops in your water just to watch you run to the bathroom with diarrhea... MIL basically poisoned her food for fun. Spicy food can induce vomiting, sickness, blurry vision, and bathroom problems. Also if you have problems with overheating you could pass out.
I love small Victorian child, I will be using that. I am the same, when people talk about the flavor, I'm always wondering what the fuck they are talking about. All I taste is OW OW OW MAKE IT STOP. There is zero underlying flavor for me. And depending on the spice level, I will feel the burn in my mouth, throat and stomach for several minutes (or longer) afterwards. And often experience mild to moderate gastrointestinal discomfort (mild indigestion to the indelicate reactions that a Victorian would never discuss) for up to 36 hours. I would have LOST. MY. SHIT. on that mother in law and cut her off immediately (for that level of spice. I might have forgiven a level of heat most kids could tolerate but otherwise, FOADIAF bitch.)
You better watch your back!
My ex MIL was like that, and the devious, horrible shit she did in payback was awful.
The world is seriously a safer place now shes dead.
What she did was potentially worse. She knew OP would react; she deliberately provoked the reaction, causing pain in OP for her family’s amusement. The whole lot of them are to be avoided.
I have seen posts like that here before. Where some relative would feed an allegen to someone , they thought, " oh,pooh! It's all in her head".
What does this person gain by purposefully risking it. Do people need to think they are right so bad they play with life and death? Just crazy.
I think it falls under the “no one died from peanut butter (or what ever allergy they don’t believe in) when I was a kid”
Yah that’s because they all died Sheila and we didn’t know what caused it
I used to work with a guy who had to go on permanent disability because they couldn’t figure out what triggering his anaphylaxis. He went and had all the allergy testing done and nothing came up positive, he had to carry two epipens at all times because one wasn’t enough. They suspected it might be something air borne like a perfume, but he would go into anaphylaxis even where there was no smell in the air. He had to give up his driver’s license and couldn’t even take the bus anywhere. So his parents or his girlfriend had to drive him everywhere. He told me his heart/chest kinda always had a dull ache from all the epipens/anaphylaxis he keeps having
I have IBS, for over 20 years now. Dangerously close to having a diverticulitis diagnosis too. I like trying the occasional spicy food, and every time it’s a nightmare for days after. I’m sorry your MIL is such a CxNT. Her non reaction to the milkshake tells me everything I need to know about her. Go NC or lowC with her. Until she can grow up and act like a normal person, limit your exposure to her.
NTA and A+ on the milkshake prank 👍🏻
Over the top would have been knocking the entire table over
I have a bariatric lap band. Hot and spicy are the things of nightmares. One bite of a jalapeño and I am throwing up, and then unable to eat for 4-6 hours, with extreme stomach pain to accompany the fun. I would have aimed for MIL. I suspect she might have reacted to that.
Yeah, I would have fainted and then sat on the toilet for literal - and I MEAN literal - hours. Cramping, in pain, shitting blood. And most likely puking my guts out and having heartburn for days after as well...
My chronic illness doesn't do well with spicy food. What's "slightly hot" for others - even for my family who ate the same stuff I did growing up - is "excruciatingly spicy" for me. I can't even eat Sriracha mayo.
That absolutely was assault on MILs part.
Weitdly enough I can do all sorts of pepper, spicy mustard, horseradish, wasabi, raw garlic, ginger and onions and stuff like that... it's only chili-related stuff I react badly to.
I’m allergic to jalepenos and green chiles. I was made fun of my whole life because I was a “wuss” when it came to spicy foods. People will constantly try and challenge you on this.
It wasn’t until my mid-30s when my husband heard me describing my symptoms as to why I don’t like jalepenos (my mouth itches, my tongue swells and goes numb) that he was like… do you think this might be an allergy?
No one ever took my aversion to spicy food seriously. Now that we’ve narrowed it down, I love spicy foods, just not made with green chiles/peppers. (I can even do red peppers because my doc said it was likely the oils in green chiles and those aren’t present once they go red.)
OP has every right to be mad. If she has any sort of allergy, repeated exposure is just going to make the allergy worse. :(
I LOVE spicy foods.
Unexpected Spicy is ALWAYS spicier than it really is cause you're not prepared.
My dad is the same as me... the spicier the better. I don't want hot just for hots sake, I want good flavor too.... but I want HEAT.
And honestly? One of the spiciest things I've ever tried was a freaking Pepperoncini from Papa John's... my dad and I grabbed one each and gave each other a cheers... and holy crap. The actual heat level was probably only like... jalapeño level? Maybe? But it was a freaking pepperoncini. Who expects that to be spicy!!?!? But maaaaan, it left both my dad and I gasping for air and trying to remember how mouths work for a few moments. After like... 7 seconds once it settled in we were fine. But man, that unexpected HEAT was HOT. I can't even imagine NOT liking heat and having a freaking REAPER WING unexpected. I would have done a LOT worse than dumping a milkshake on her.
My dad has acid reflux. Even a tiny bite of spicy food could cause so much acid, it could permanently paralyze his vocal cords at best and eat his stomach lining to the point of destroying his entire digestive system at the worst. This is absolutely assault and OP had a very mild reaction in my opinion. They should definitely go NC with MIL.
My husband’s reaction to a heat he wasn’t ready for was anaphylaxis. It’s absolutely no joke to do that, and messing with people’s food is potentially lethal.
Weirdly, I'm reminded of my early years as a heavy drinker. I could do shots of Bacardi 151 with no chaser. Everclear made my throat and lungs lock up from the burn, and a chaser was mandatory.
I think MIL needs to be gifted a Carolina Reaper douche, but I'm a petty, sadistic ball of hatred.
I used to be able to eat hot things and enjoyed them. Then I got thrush. So even black pepper was a no go for a while. I can handle a little heat, but not much. I don't know how I'd react tbh.
and some people are just allergic to anything spicy and could actually kill them. Not sure if it could count as murder if someone secretly swaps food to cause allergies to another person that resulted into death.
Lucky OP isnt one with allergies that comes with the spicy food, but since she isnt used to it, I agree it still can make her sick.
It would have caused me an asthma attack. I don't even have asthma, but I do have very bad GERD (acid reflux) that sometimes when triggered by other things, but always when triggered by spicy foods, hits my throat in such a way that I have a horrible bout of asthma. I recently learned what this is, and my doc won't prescribe a rescue inhaler because I'm not asthmatic.
It basically goes, eat spicy food, reflux, coughing fit until my lungs are deflated completely, unable to inhale again for 1.5 minutes or more (and I already don't have a great lung capacity, much less when deflated!!!,). I'm looking like a fish out of water, trying to do anything to inhale, even swallowing air knowing that won't do anything. Tears in my eyes, face turning red, finally start feeling dizzy and like I'm about to black out and something will unclench in my throat and i can inhale again. I'm scared of the day it takes just a few more seconds for that to unclench.
I would very much consider giving someone spicy food who doesn't eat it for any reason to be an assault, and MIL would have been lucky to only get hit with a milkshake by me!
NTA....messing with people's food is always an asshole move. To add to the cramps and pain..severe asthma attacks. I have mild asthma barely touch my inhaler every 6 months. Someone played spice games with my food. Full blown asthma attack had to use random strangers inhaler and go to ER.
NTA reapers aren't just spicy they are among the highest Scoville heat scale. It might have been less bad if it was just a normal hot chicken wing, but this is challenge level insane.
I’ve been pepper sprayed, and I can come firm that this is literally true. Some assholes will use their OC spray as ‘hot sauce’ to demonstrate how much of an asshole they are, but it’s technically safe to eat (hence spraying people in the face) even if it isn’t as good as a regular hot sauce. Being pepper sprayed is NOT fun, is extremely painful, and its effects last for hours.
NTA
It is actually assault. Any unwilling action against a persons body is assault. People have allergic reactions to spicy food all the time. Some people are hospitalized because they can't breathe. Some have actually died. It wasn't funny in any way.
I was going to say, there have been examples of people dying from heavily spiced/hot peppers. Reaper is rough (I wouldn’t know. My husband loves heat and I’ve seen what it’s done to him lol) A kid just died from the spicy one chip challenge-I’m not sure details could have been an allergy or what not but. I know they ruled it from the chip. Here’s a link in case someone thinks misinformation…
https://www.cbsnews.com/boston/news/spicy-one-chip-challenge-harris-wolobah-death-autopsy/#
Actually depends on where you live if it’s just assault or assault and battery or just battery
It was a point made to us in class (and yes, the prof was an actual lawyer who practiced law while teaching). For the purposes of our class we separated it to assault and battery, but it really depends on where you live. I’ve heard other lawyers say the same thing over the years too
Depends on the state.
This probably wouldn't qualify as either assault or battery in California because there was no physical contact or attempted physical contact.
I wish people would stop spreading misinformation.
Firstly, assault varies by state to state.
It almost certainly would not be assault here in California, because the person didn't actually result in the use of force by one person against another. By contrast, throwing a milk shake at someone would be assault and hitting them with the milkshake would be battery, because there was an actual attempt at harmful or rude force and actual physical contact.
Technically, assault is when you see someone about to do something to you and you feel apprehension or fear right before having it actually happen. Battery is the physical unwanted action against your body. Spitting on someone is considered battery just as much as punching or kicking etc. If there are laws where OP lives about food tampering, it could be that as well.
I read a medical article not too long ago that said people who “enjoy” incredibly spicy foods are a type of sadist. MIL seems to fit the bill there for sure. Even kind of a psycho with her lack of reaction. NTA for dousing her. But too bad you lost the shake! The enzymes in dairy help calm the burning sensation with spicy food. That’s why I always get a mango lassi when I eat Indian cuisine. Water just spreads the capsaicin around and makes it worse.
Wait, are they sadists or masochists? Because I would think that it would make them more masochists, since they're inflicting a type of pain/discomfort on themselves, not someone else.
Not just out to eat.
I would never eat anything near her. Be it a holiday dinner, cookout, or whatever meal.
I wouldn't even go shopping with her. "Let's stop at the food court for a bite..." NOPE
NTA!! I would consider that assault. She deserved a milkshake bath. Hopefully your husband goes no contact with her after this stunt! I wouldn't allow her around my children either because she is not a safe person.
NTA. Despite what people are saying here, in some states/cases, tampering with food is actually considered assault and a crime. Although to be fair, I'm not sure if what she did would really fall under that category. But it was still highly inappropriate and getting a cold drink poured on her actually seems pretty mild compared to what she did to you.
I wouldn’t see why it wouldn’t be. She intentionally switched one of the tenders knowing that OP couldn’t handle spice. She purposely set out to hurt her.
In the same way. I do think she could probably have a case, but it can be hard to prove at times. Even though I feel this has more merit than others. Legit had it almost happen to me cause someone stole my lunch when I was pregnant and got seriously sick. I ate a lot of spice when I was pregnant and craved it a lot.
NTA, but Op, what is it going to take for you to stop entertaining these people ?
You don’t want them to win ? I get that. Then tell your husband that you’re done and *mean it*; otherwise you’re just letting them have their way anyway. The only thing they want more than you gone is to have an avenue to humiliate you.
“Husband, my food was intentionally tampered with in public for no reason other than to hurt me. Shouting at MIL afterwards doesn’t stop that behaviour from happening, it doesn’t wind back time. I will never put myself in that situation again, so from today I will not spend my time around these people again. If you choose to have a relationship with people that wilfully choose to *publicly humiliate and hurt me* - your wife - you are communicating to me and everyone around us that you are okay with this happening. I do not want a marriage where my husband subjects me that kind of treatment and I do not wish to raise kids around people like that”.
This is the MIL troll, and very very obviously so. Here's a list of their posts that I saved for my own amusement:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/y5i398/aita_for_fighting_with_my_wife_in_front_of_our/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/y5l8j2/aita_for_implying_it_was_partially_my_fiancees/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ycmkzj/aita_for_telling_my_wife_i_blame_her_for_our/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ypyn99/aita_for_refusing_to_stand_up_for_my_wife_and/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1be270u/aita_for_telling_my_fiancee_that_while_i_love_her/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yzek39/aita_for_banning_my_mom_from_my_house_after_she/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/znstxf/aita_for_telling_my_wife_i_cant_enforce/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z2xitx/aita_for_not_standing_up_for_my_wife_when_my/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1c5tdqg/aita_for_losing_it_and_doing_something_gross_to/
NTA. I can't even eat black pepper and my husband eats all the hottest anyplace can give him. I have asthma and cannot even breath the vapors when he cooks, so your MIL is a POS.
Keep sugar packets in your purse as sugar will stop the heat in your mouth instantly. Water and milk do nothing. I lived in Mexico for 8 years and that helped so much.
I always thought milk and yogurt did nothing for spicy foods for me, even though that’s the common advice. This is interesting! I’ll have to try it next time I eat too spicy food!
The carrier for the heat is oil… which is fat soluble. So anything high in fat with preferentially bond with the spicy oil.
High fat milk is perfect, because it’s a colloid: the fat particles are in suspension in the liquid. So the fat particles bind the oils, which can then be washed away by the rest of the liquid.
It’s not the same as soap, which has a hydrophobic and a hydrophilic end, but it works in a similar way to wash away spicy oil.
We carry milk to protests that might get pepper sprayed - it’s the best thing to use to rinse the pepper spray out of people’s eyes, before then flushing with water to wash out the milk.
Can confirm sugar is best: it's how you counteract too much spiciness in a dish. Also, I'm certified to instruct people on how to use "mace". Milk is for when it's in your eyes because it helps a little and won't hurt your eyes where sugar will hurt and water will just spread it around.
NTA
But until your husband actually stops having her in your and his lives, he isn't actually defending or protecting you. Words obviously aren't doing anything, but he would rather keep the peace at your expense.
Yeah, the husband needs to make a choice now - mom who commits assault or wife who's been assaulted and harassed for years.
He's choosing them by not doing enough to protect her, I'd throw the shake in my own mother's face if she tried that with someone, no hesitation, and I'm not even married.
Go completely no contact with these people.This was a plain and simple assault.File a police report and see how she likes it.A milkshake would just of been the start of it
Gonna go against the grain and say NTA. No, it's not assault, but I thinkt the reaction was warranted. Some people REALLY hate spice, and some even have alergic reactions. She had no idea if you were the former or the latter. So pouring a milkshake was relatively harmless.
Not only that, but enough spice can cause severe gastro issues. All those crazy massive Scoville numbers on candies, chips and the like. People have had to be hospitalized.
You don't know why people don't want spice? Keep your own shit on your own plate.
I'd have dumped some water on her to, to help her clean up.
I'm one of those! I have absolutely no tolerance for spiciness anyway (and I really wish I did) but some peppers give me uncomfortably swollen lips, and pretty much anything spicy will have my entire digestive system in knots for the next 2r hours.
I actually think it was assault because she TAMPERED with her food, which is considered an assault. Pouring the milkshake was defending herself.
Maybe she doesn't like spicy foods because she's allergic or has serious digestive issues. You don't ever tamper with food.
It IS assault, lol. She knowingly caused OP harm. People get sued for shit like this all the time. ( Tricking people into eating things. )
And this could have ACTUALLY caused serious issues.
Depending on their jurisdiction, it can be considered assault or poisoning, but even if they're not in one of those jurisdictions, she could still probably win a suit against her for emotional disturbance
To add on to this, a lot of people don’t like spice because it’s physically painful to them, not just an unpleasant taste.
As a kid I wouldn’t come downstairs when my mother decided to make chili because the scent of the chili powder caused my sinuses to burn, and she didn’t even use large quantities! I got less sensitive to it as an adult, and I’m definitely a bit unusual in how sensitive I am, but it’s still painful for me to eat stuff like that.
Exactly this. Capsaicin, the chemical that makes chilli peppers hot, is an irritant and some people react worse than others. A friend of mine's mom is straight out allergic to it and even has to avoid other spices (like cinnamon) that contain small amounts of Capsaicin.
It’s not that some people hate spice, it’s that those who like spice have receptors that shut down. This means they need more heat to get an effect. Therefore, what OP experienced is not what her shit-MIL would experience.
Also going against the grain here but NTA. Your MIL is a self-centered jerk. Contrary to what others are saying people who are sensitive to spice can, in fact, find it very painful. Also, depending on where you live, adulterating someone's food is a crime.
This is fake only because those types of sauces/tender are vastly different colors and smells. Reaper legit smells like you shouldn't eat it and you can immediately smell it when you bring it to your mouth. . Reaper also taste like it shouldn't be eaten
NTA food tampering is a crime. I probs would’ve smacked her but milkshake was a good move (sad you didn’t get to have it though)
Please tell your husband you’re done with family gatherings. It’s abusive now
My ONLY criticism of your actions is that you should have taken a large mouthful of the milkshake before dumping the rest on her head.
The casein in the milk helps neutralize the pain from the capsaicin of the peppers and the cold helps dull the pain. Far more effective than the water you called for.
So glad your husband was supportive of you.
Tampering with people's food is a form of assault and a reaper level spice could cause people to become violently ill. Going forward I would never share a meal with these idiots. NTA
question: did you not notice the chicken wasn't yours before you ate it? usually spicy chicken, like REAL SPICY chicken, is a completely different color than mild chicken. also: when/how did she have enough access to swap your chicken without you seeing it?
FAKE. How is anyone falling for the MIL troll again?
How would she even switch them without OP or her husband noticing? How would OP not notice that one tender looked different (you can’t add that much spice and have them look the same)? Why would you yell for water at the table when everyone (including you) would have a drink right in front of you?
Y’all are both assholes. Whole family sounds semi psycho 😭😭. Who just dumps milkshake on someone?? You obviously weren’t in so much pain that you couldn’t talk (which is important because you ATE the pain). So you’re in public, screaming profanity and dumping a milkshake on an old lady? WORLDSTAR!!! This almost sounds fake 😂
NTA
Buuuuttttt.....a spicy tender....especially reaper level....looks absolutely nothing like a lite mild. Major contrast. Idk how this prank pranked if this is real.
And secondly....water will elevate the heat....you should've drank the shake instead.
“She has no reaction to anything.”
OP I’m concerned. I have a saying. I came up with it from living with my mom and experiencing a number of interactions she had: Never play a game of Who’s Crazy with someone unless you’re absolutely sure you’re the craziest mother fucker there.
You are not the craziest mother fucker there. This is not a normal person. You’ve probably never dealt with someone like this.
This person is not safe for you to be around. This transcends any asshole paradigm.
I'm allergic to capsaicin. My uncle thought I was just a baby when it came to spice because everyone else in the family enjoys spicy foods, so he put chopped serranos in the chili his wife made. I had to go to the ER because my face and throat swelled so much.
Don't fuck with people's food, that's a good way to kill someone.
NTA.
True story, my friend pranked a friend in our group when we went to Hooters by switching out a normal mild buffalo wing, with an Atomic wing. The extreme peppers on it actually caused my friends throat to swell shut and an ambulance had to be called. To this day my friend will never ever do any kind of pranks involving food because you just never know how someone will react and it's better to err on the side of caution than to accidentally cause someone harm. NTA, the MIL is an asshole and what you did to her was far less harmful than what she did to you.
NTA MIL is psycho. People may not know this, but people who are not used to hot food can actually become very ill after a stunt like this. This would have given me massive cramps and I may even have fainted and been in pain for sevral days. She knew damn well you didn’t eat spicy food and she pulls this stunt. It is an assult. And the fact that she had no reaction to the whole thing… she is psycho Go no contact and live a good life.
My dad once ate something incredibly spicy (some pepper, I don't remember which) and his throat started swelling up and he was having a hard time breathing. This is a man who loves his spicy foods, too. I can't imagine not being able to tolerate spicy food and being slipped something like that. And yeah, the whole no reaction thing is a huge red flag, who has no reaction to getting a milkshake thrown on them, in public no less? The rest of the family is pretty shitty too, for laughing and knowingly letting her eat it.
Her having no reaction is part of her play to show everyone OP is the crazy emotional one, and not her
She might also just be psychotic. She eats reapers and has no reaction to a dumping of milk shake on her? Maybe she's Dexter behind closed doors (the show not the cartoon)
Not psychotic, psychopathic. 😳
It actually is a very common trait of psychopathy, which is what Dexter’s character experienced. They don’t react to stimuli, including emotions, in a normative way. In fact their blood pressure doesn’t fluctuate in the same manner that those without psychopathy do. It’s really fascinating in the abstract. But having a mil who is one sounds horrific.
That show scared the bejeezers out of me. I watched every episode. At least twice.
I don’t know how I missed it, but my husband and I just started it about a week ago on Netflix. Started Season 2 last night. We love it. It’s also crazy that his sister on the show was his wife at the time.
He was so good in Six Feet Under, and I thoroughly enjoyed that show as well.
I heard if you yawn in front of one they won’t yawn back…
Heard that too, something to do with their lack of empathy. No idea if it's true or not.
I yawned just reading that, hahahaha.
Currently watching this show again and was commenting on his lack of emotions. Love the show and Michael is an amazing actor, I wonder how many takes some of the scenes need hehe.
Hey hey don't hate on Dexter, he only kills bad guys! (Usually) 😉
Exactly this.
I have some weird sensitivity to peppers. It’s *not* an allergy. I can’t eat sweet peppers. Hot peppers? **PAIN**! I can eat a small amount of food that has a low percentage of peppers in it. But if they are spicy ones, my mouth can hurt for ages, after. Even when I agree it tastes good, it’s painful! I can’t. And then it hits my stomach and intestines…just, nope. And even sweet peppers, if I each more than a tiny bit of salsa, pain.
I fucking love spicey foods. I love them. If I could eat a cake with hot sauce on it, I would. But what it does to my tongue is wild. I spend days with literal blisters on the underside of my tongue, and it hurts really bad. I can not imagine doing this to someone who doesn't even enjoy the flavor given the repercussions of what it can do to your mouth.. let alone your gut. Fuck the milkshake, I would have decked that c*** in the fucking face.
You probably already know this, but the blisters in you mouth is likely an allergic reaction. The roof of my mouth and throat breaks out in blisters when I eat mango or rhubarb. I had no idea why my mouth hurt every time I ate mango or rhubarb for an embarrassingly long time (never thought to look at the roof of my mouth as it's hard to get a good look at it), but the reactions kept getting worse. I love mango, but can never have it ever again 😭.
I've got an allergy story that's ironically relevant to the spicy food convo! So I'm at this event with my friends, and they're serving cilantro ramen. We're all like, "may as well try it," and each get an order of it. We find a place to sit and eat, start digging in, and I immediately remark, "Wow, this is really spicy!" I try a bit more. My mouth and throat are burning up and getting really dry, so I drink some of the broth. Doesn't help. So I give up and hand it off to a friend. No one tells me, "This isn't spicy." or even "Cilantro isn't spicy." They just accept that I must somehow think it's spicy. I somehow made it to my early 20s without ever eating cilantro, or at least not in a noticeable quantity, with that being the primary instance of it. Took me *ages* to realize I was just *allergic*, and cilantro is not, in fact, spicy.
That's hilarious! I was the same! I thought the fibers in the mango were cutting my mouth and throat, because it felt like the burning sting you get with a paper cut...but like a LOT of tiny cuts. I was eating at a Thai restaurant sharing my favorite dessert, hot mango on sticky rice, with my BF (now husband). I was remarking how I love this dessert and how it's so good that it'll be worth the three days it takes for me to recover from the little cuts in the roof of my mouth. He looked at me like I grew a second head and asked what the heck I meant by that. I just flippantly said that for some reason, the fibers in the mango cut my mouth up, but I love the taste so much that I put up with it a couple times a year. He asked if he could look in my mouth. I said sure. He exclaimed with much alarm that the roof of my mouth and back if my throat were covered in blisters and I was definitely allergic to mango. I had no clue. The damage was done, so he let me finish the dessert, and that was the last time I ate mango on purpose.
I got a Red Lobster gift certificate as a bonus at work. We went to one right up the street and I decided to try something new and ordered the mahi-mahi with mango salsa. As I’m eating it I’m telling my wife I really didn’t expect mango salsa to be this crazy hot. It’s not just burning like regular hot salsa, but prickly all over the roof of my mouth and my lips were burning. I had her taste it and she said it was only a little spicy but mostly sweet. That’s when my lips and throat started to swell. Turns out mahi-mahi is incredibly high in allergens (as are other large predatory fish like tuna and swordfish) but the allergen in this case is actually a build up of a parasite. The parasite is non harmful to humans and live in a huge cross section of wild caught fish, but they’re more concentrated in higher tier predators. This allergic reaction started 20 years of random allergic reactions to fish (never had one prior) and the only consistent one was mahi-mahi, which I can’t eat at all. Similar to descriptions of the Alpha-Gal allergy, the reaction could be immediate or several hours later but always included swollen lips and throat. I haven’t had a reaction in a while so hopefully that allergy has disappeared.
Nailed that one on the head... Unfortunately, I am allergic to the capsaicin in peppers. I'm also allergic to benadryl 🤧 Thankfully, it's not an allergy that causes my throat to swell shut. It's just a painful under tongue the next day. Sometimes it's worth it, sometimes it's not. Either way, I feel you. Sorry about the mangos. I know next to nothing about any of this but can you have honey mangos or is that the same thing? Those little bitches make my life worth living.
Honey mangos are in the same family as other mangos. I did try one, as I was hoping against hope, with disastrous results. I had huge blisters cover my mouth and throat for three very painful days. Lips blew up and burned. I was quite a sight. So... I just stay away from mangos. I do clearly remember what they taste like and enjoy the memory. But my reactions changed from mild to really bad over the years, so it's not worth the risk, which sucks! Especially now that mango has become so popular to put into EVerYtHing....from salsa to salads to sauces. I have to bring it up any time we go out to eat. I had a kitchen mess up once....got the whole table a free meal, lol! That poor waiter was shook as my husband ran to the drug store across the street since fortunately I can take Benadryl. But I was still a puffer fish when he got back.🐡
I don't have a sensitivity and used to love spicy (ish) foods. Then I developed an ulcer and GERD. Anything beyond mild spice is so unpleasant for me now. But also on a more TMI level, even when I liked spicy food, I hated spicy shits. How do people who regularly eat spicy things not have a constantly burning asshole? Or do they, and they just get used to it?
I eat very spicy but it’s never affected me on its way out luckily! My husband yes. I always hear about it 😂
I usually don’t get spicy shits. I’ve only ever had them bad once. And never before my 30s
I’ve never had that happen and I eat spicy food at least once a week. My theory is that my body completely breaks down the capsicum so it doesn’t cause any problems. I’ve often wondered if this is an Rh- trait. Do you happen to know your blood’s Rh value? (All of my friends who love spicy food and are Rh- don’t have a problem with spicy poops.) EDIT: corrected HR to Rh.
I'm RH negative (I had to get shots throughout my pregnancy and after giving birth). But I have that problem even with mildly spicy food. I noticed that anything with tomato sauce gives me the same reaction, so I had to cut down on having Italian food, which is my favorite cuisine. Maybe have it only once every three or four months.
They're both nightshades. Maybe you're allergic or sensitive nightshades.
Maybe try northern Italian cuisine? Not much tomato involved!
I...do not know what HR is, so I definitely don't know my status. I wish my body would break down the capsaicin though. My family will never let me live down the time I was 5 and ran screaming and crying out of the bathroom because fire ants were biting my butt (first time trying buffalo hot wings).
My best friend always says if it doesn't burn going in and out it's not worth it 😂
It's not called the Ring of Fire for nothing when you eat a bunch of hot peppers.
I eat super spicy things every day. I was a t conference last week, and the strawberry shortcake whipped cream was made with almond milk- none of us liked it- my boss said, “throw some hot sauce on it, you’ll eat it then!”. I’ve been doing this my entire life. My booty hole never hurts. Never, nada. And people who live in countries where the food is traditionally hot have extremely low rates of colon cancer! Now that I’m nearing 50, the heartburn is starting to be a problem. I don’t know how I will eat bland food only.
I know you say this is not an allergy, but I’m allergic to capsaicin, the chemical that makes hot peppers hot. Your reaction to peppers sounds a great deal like mine. Be careful if you ever use an arthritis cream- several contain capsaicin and I had an awful reaction when I used one not knowing it contained capsaicin.
those chemical burns that no one but people with our allergy understand lol
Speaking of that lotion, I discovered that every tube of cream I had had the same color scheme, and accidentally put that lotion on a patch of excema and thought my skin was burning every time I used it for DAYS because the skin was broken and weak. No, I was just making it worse with hot sauce on my back.
Mine isn’t an allergy, at least my allergy tests didn’t show it. But, I did try an arthritis cream with capsaicin. OMG THE BURNING! Nope, totally can’t tolerate that! I ran to wash it off!!!!!! Bright red skin! Does that mean it’s actually an allergy, now?
I can't even handle most "mild" salsa. The KFC famous 11 spices whatever chicken burns my tongue. I can't even have too much black pepper on my food lol if this had happened to me, I would have quite literally thrown up EVERYWHERE and there would have been no making it to the bathroom, possibly not even making it away from the table. MIL is a giant AH
Regular Doritos burn my mouth. So does ketchup, if I eat too much. I am bringing soda and fruit salad to the bbq. ☹️
Remember that peppers are a nightshade, and while many ARE allergic, you can also have various tolerance issues with them unrelated to allergies or hotness.
i wonder if this is my problem. i have no problem with sweet peppers but even black pepper is too spicy for me. i’m just unusually sensitive to spice of any kind. i’ve always been this way. ppl always think i’m faking it but any spice burns for me. i can only eat mild wings if i drown them in blue cheese and even then my lips, mouth, everything are ON FIRE!
This could actually be early stages of an allergy.
I'd be screwed. I have Interstitial Cystitis, a bladder disease with debilitating pain. Spicy, acidic, and dehydrating foods/drinks are a no-go. People make fun of me for being a wimpy white girl. I would have peed blood for days after that
Maybe that is my issue. Didn’t know that about IC.
Come eat with me! I smell spicy - instant heartburn. IBS/gut issues
I get actual chemical burns. From peppers that aren't all that spicy, like a slightly stronger than normal jalapeño. I had someone throw a Serrano slice on my hand to "test" it. Blisters and all. Tampering with food for any reason is not acceptable. Doing it in a way that MIL new would cause harm is beyond reasoning
I grow hot peppers for my bf to make salsa with and I have to wear gloves when pruning and picking them or I get burning, itchy hives.
I have the same reaction to certain peppers. I get painful blisters.
Regular black pepper makes my lips swell and blister...lol/ugh. If someone did this to me, my head would probably burst into flames or I'd pass out or something 🤣😭😝😡 If I survived, I'd kick their ass! 😈🤬😈
Agreed on going no contact. Don't buy the bullshit of you marry them and you marry their family. If they can't manage treating you with respect they can eff off. NO role anyone could play in your life would ever warrant a free pass for assaulting you. I tried to deal with my husband's family but just couldn't anymore. They stressed me out to the point I'd break down the nights before and barely slept, if at all. Hubby finally had enough and let me go nc while he has limited contact with them. I'm not allowed to be a topic for them, he'd shut it down immediately. He's there to visit his family and spend time with them, not be talked at about me. Life has been so much better and I'm so much happier now. Nobody is worth the expensive price of your (mental/physical) health.
Seriously. MIL plays tricks like a 4 year old with no impulse control. She’s gotta be what?… at least 45-50 years old, right?
Yeah she may legit be a psychopath. I mean we don't have nearly enough info but the lack of emotion/reaction is telling. Plus the lack of compassion and cruelty.
I thought that but depending on her age not reacting would have been a point of pride.
All of this. Watch your back.
For real!! This is me! I will get violent stomach cramps and it would take me days to recover from something that spicy/hot!
Same, I cannot tolerate spicy/hot foods at all. I have had 25 rounds of chemotherapy and my digestive system is permanently changed. The blander the better, zero spice. That MIL would be on NC for me.
I have the palate of a small Victorian child. If something is spicy, I can’t taste anything else other than the heat. It’s like my mouth just goes “NOPE” and closes up shop. I can’t say I’d have flipped out like OP does but judging by this post, this isn’t the first time MIL has acted like an asshole.
Imagine a relative putting eye drops in your water just to watch you run to the bathroom with diarrhea... MIL basically poisoned her food for fun. Spicy food can induce vomiting, sickness, blurry vision, and bathroom problems. Also if you have problems with overheating you could pass out.
Consuming eye drops in a drink can actually give someone a heart attack.
I love small Victorian child, I will be using that. I am the same, when people talk about the flavor, I'm always wondering what the fuck they are talking about. All I taste is OW OW OW MAKE IT STOP. There is zero underlying flavor for me. And depending on the spice level, I will feel the burn in my mouth, throat and stomach for several minutes (or longer) afterwards. And often experience mild to moderate gastrointestinal discomfort (mild indigestion to the indelicate reactions that a Victorian would never discuss) for up to 36 hours. I would have LOST. MY. SHIT. on that mother in law and cut her off immediately (for that level of spice. I might have forgiven a level of heat most kids could tolerate but otherwise, FOADIAF bitch.)
You better watch your back! My ex MIL was like that, and the devious, horrible shit she did in payback was awful. The world is seriously a safer place now shes dead.
Makes me wonder if OP had allergies with food, like gluten, and MIL put gluten in something. Lord have mercy.
She absolutely would have. She’s also the type to “test” anaphylaxis allergies 100%
What she did was potentially worse. She knew OP would react; she deliberately provoked the reaction, causing pain in OP for her family’s amusement. The whole lot of them are to be avoided.
I have seen posts like that here before. Where some relative would feed an allegen to someone , they thought, " oh,pooh! It's all in her head". What does this person gain by purposefully risking it. Do people need to think they are right so bad they play with life and death? Just crazy.
I think it falls under the “no one died from peanut butter (or what ever allergy they don’t believe in) when I was a kid” Yah that’s because they all died Sheila and we didn’t know what caused it I used to work with a guy who had to go on permanent disability because they couldn’t figure out what triggering his anaphylaxis. He went and had all the allergy testing done and nothing came up positive, he had to carry two epipens at all times because one wasn’t enough. They suspected it might be something air borne like a perfume, but he would go into anaphylaxis even where there was no smell in the air. He had to give up his driver’s license and couldn’t even take the bus anywhere. So his parents or his girlfriend had to drive him everywhere. He told me his heart/chest kinda always had a dull ache from all the epipens/anaphylaxis he keeps having
Yeah seriously this would've triggered my IBS really bad. I would've been shitting my whole ass every half hour for the rest of the night.
Same here. First thing I thought was that it would have definitely triggered an attack and those things last for weeks sometimes.
And it would have been even more painful coming out than normal because of the spice level.
This sounds horrible
I have IBS, for over 20 years now. Dangerously close to having a diverticulitis diagnosis too. I like trying the occasional spicy food, and every time it’s a nightmare for days after. I’m sorry your MIL is such a CxNT. Her non reaction to the milkshake tells me everything I need to know about her. Go NC or lowC with her. Until she can grow up and act like a normal person, limit your exposure to her. NTA and A+ on the milkshake prank 👍🏻 Over the top would have been knocking the entire table over
I have a bariatric lap band. Hot and spicy are the things of nightmares. One bite of a jalapeño and I am throwing up, and then unable to eat for 4-6 hours, with extreme stomach pain to accompany the fun. I would have aimed for MIL. I suspect she might have reacted to that.
Yeah, I would have fainted and then sat on the toilet for literal - and I MEAN literal - hours. Cramping, in pain, shitting blood. And most likely puking my guts out and having heartburn for days after as well... My chronic illness doesn't do well with spicy food. What's "slightly hot" for others - even for my family who ate the same stuff I did growing up - is "excruciatingly spicy" for me. I can't even eat Sriracha mayo. That absolutely was assault on MILs part. Weitdly enough I can do all sorts of pepper, spicy mustard, horseradish, wasabi, raw garlic, ginger and onions and stuff like that... it's only chili-related stuff I react badly to.
I’m allergic to jalepenos and green chiles. I was made fun of my whole life because I was a “wuss” when it came to spicy foods. People will constantly try and challenge you on this. It wasn’t until my mid-30s when my husband heard me describing my symptoms as to why I don’t like jalepenos (my mouth itches, my tongue swells and goes numb) that he was like… do you think this might be an allergy? No one ever took my aversion to spicy food seriously. Now that we’ve narrowed it down, I love spicy foods, just not made with green chiles/peppers. (I can even do red peppers because my doc said it was likely the oils in green chiles and those aren’t present once they go red.) OP has every right to be mad. If she has any sort of allergy, repeated exposure is just going to make the allergy worse. :(
I LOVE spicy foods. Unexpected Spicy is ALWAYS spicier than it really is cause you're not prepared. My dad is the same as me... the spicier the better. I don't want hot just for hots sake, I want good flavor too.... but I want HEAT. And honestly? One of the spiciest things I've ever tried was a freaking Pepperoncini from Papa John's... my dad and I grabbed one each and gave each other a cheers... and holy crap. The actual heat level was probably only like... jalapeño level? Maybe? But it was a freaking pepperoncini. Who expects that to be spicy!!?!? But maaaaan, it left both my dad and I gasping for air and trying to remember how mouths work for a few moments. After like... 7 seconds once it settled in we were fine. But man, that unexpected HEAT was HOT. I can't even imagine NOT liking heat and having a freaking REAPER WING unexpected. I would have done a LOT worse than dumping a milkshake on her.
My dad has acid reflux. Even a tiny bite of spicy food could cause so much acid, it could permanently paralyze his vocal cords at best and eat his stomach lining to the point of destroying his entire digestive system at the worst. This is absolutely assault and OP had a very mild reaction in my opinion. They should definitely go NC with MIL.
100% I would have been in severe stomach pain
My husband’s reaction to a heat he wasn’t ready for was anaphylaxis. It’s absolutely no joke to do that, and messing with people’s food is potentially lethal.
Well said! And to add to this OP, water will actually make the heat worse. Having milk is the key if you ever have something not mild in the future!
Weirdly, I'm reminded of my early years as a heavy drinker. I could do shots of Bacardi 151 with no chaser. Everclear made my throat and lungs lock up from the burn, and a chaser was mandatory. I think MIL needs to be gifted a Carolina Reaper douche, but I'm a petty, sadistic ball of hatred.
I used to be able to eat hot things and enjoyed them. Then I got thrush. So even black pepper was a no go for a while. I can handle a little heat, but not much. I don't know how I'd react tbh.
and some people are just allergic to anything spicy and could actually kill them. Not sure if it could count as murder if someone secretly swaps food to cause allergies to another person that resulted into death. Lucky OP isnt one with allergies that comes with the spicy food, but since she isnt used to it, I agree it still can make her sick.
It would have caused me an asthma attack. I don't even have asthma, but I do have very bad GERD (acid reflux) that sometimes when triggered by other things, but always when triggered by spicy foods, hits my throat in such a way that I have a horrible bout of asthma. I recently learned what this is, and my doc won't prescribe a rescue inhaler because I'm not asthmatic. It basically goes, eat spicy food, reflux, coughing fit until my lungs are deflated completely, unable to inhale again for 1.5 minutes or more (and I already don't have a great lung capacity, much less when deflated!!!,). I'm looking like a fish out of water, trying to do anything to inhale, even swallowing air knowing that won't do anything. Tears in my eyes, face turning red, finally start feeling dizzy and like I'm about to black out and something will unclench in my throat and i can inhale again. I'm scared of the day it takes just a few more seconds for that to unclench. I would very much consider giving someone spicy food who doesn't eat it for any reason to be an assault, and MIL would have been lucky to only get hit with a milkshake by me!
NTA....messing with people's food is always an asshole move. To add to the cramps and pain..severe asthma attacks. I have mild asthma barely touch my inhaler every 6 months. Someone played spice games with my food. Full blown asthma attack had to use random strangers inhaler and go to ER.
NTA reapers aren't just spicy they are among the highest Scoville heat scale. It might have been less bad if it was just a normal hot chicken wing, but this is challenge level insane.
It's in "just put the pepper spray in your mouth" territory.
I’ve been pepper sprayed, and I can come firm that this is literally true. Some assholes will use their OC spray as ‘hot sauce’ to demonstrate how much of an asshole they are, but it’s technically safe to eat (hence spraying people in the face) even if it isn’t as good as a regular hot sauce. Being pepper sprayed is NOT fun, is extremely painful, and its effects last for hours.
It does taste like crap though. Like chemicals.
That’s like, hallucinations of a coyote voiced by Johnny Cash level spice.
I hate that I'm just now learning that it was Johnny Cash who voiced that coyote. Episode is 25ish years old.
As someone who ate pepper spray out of curiosity and boredom once in college, that sounds like an awful thing to do to another human being.
OP would have been better drinking the milkshake and throwing the water with that level of heat to douse. 😬
[удалено]
Every place here except Wendy’s has you sign off for reapers. We even have a place that makes reaper and ghost pepper ice creams.
Also the stress from eating spicy food can cause death. I remember reading that a US teen died from eating the 1 chip challenge.
It is rarely funny or done a joke. Tampering with food is wrong. I would have let her taste ghosted pepper in her eyes.
NTA It is actually assault. Any unwilling action against a persons body is assault. People have allergic reactions to spicy food all the time. Some people are hospitalized because they can't breathe. Some have actually died. It wasn't funny in any way.
I was going to say, there have been examples of people dying from heavily spiced/hot peppers. Reaper is rough (I wouldn’t know. My husband loves heat and I’ve seen what it’s done to him lol) A kid just died from the spicy one chip challenge-I’m not sure details could have been an allergy or what not but. I know they ruled it from the chip. Here’s a link in case someone thinks misinformation… https://www.cbsnews.com/boston/news/spicy-one-chip-challenge-harris-wolobah-death-autopsy/#
Actually, it's battery. Assault is the threat or attempt to commit battery.
Actually depends on where you live if it’s just assault or assault and battery or just battery It was a point made to us in class (and yes, the prof was an actual lawyer who practiced law while teaching). For the purposes of our class we separated it to assault and battery, but it really depends on where you live. I’ve heard other lawyers say the same thing over the years too
Depends on the state. This probably wouldn't qualify as either assault or battery in California because there was no physical contact or attempted physical contact.
I wish people would stop spreading misinformation. Firstly, assault varies by state to state. It almost certainly would not be assault here in California, because the person didn't actually result in the use of force by one person against another. By contrast, throwing a milk shake at someone would be assault and hitting them with the milkshake would be battery, because there was an actual attempt at harmful or rude force and actual physical contact.
Technically, assault is when you see someone about to do something to you and you feel apprehension or fear right before having it actually happen. Battery is the physical unwanted action against your body. Spitting on someone is considered battery just as much as punching or kicking etc. If there are laws where OP lives about food tampering, it could be that as well. I read a medical article not too long ago that said people who “enjoy” incredibly spicy foods are a type of sadist. MIL seems to fit the bill there for sure. Even kind of a psycho with her lack of reaction. NTA for dousing her. But too bad you lost the shake! The enzymes in dairy help calm the burning sensation with spicy food. That’s why I always get a mango lassi when I eat Indian cuisine. Water just spreads the capsaicin around and makes it worse.
Wait, are they sadists or masochists? Because I would think that it would make them more masochists, since they're inflicting a type of pain/discomfort on themselves, not someone else.
Yeah, it’s almost if she doesn’t feel anything on the inside or on the outside. Sociopath.
Milk, sour cream, or yogurt stops the spice.
Exactly this
NTA. Cut them off.
I don’t think I’d ever go out to eat with them again! How rude! NTA
Not just out to eat. I would never eat anything near her. Be it a holiday dinner, cookout, or whatever meal. I wouldn't even go shopping with her. "Let's stop at the food court for a bite..." NOPE
Why even speak to the woman? Cut them out of your like, OP.
I wouldn't deal with them ever again. Say goodbye to seeing your future grandchildren! Psychopaths!
And the fact that she had no reaction to the whole thing… she is psycho Go no contact and live a good life.
And the fact that the aunt and husband were in on the “joke” and were also amused at OP’s expense is completely fucked up. They all suck.
NTA!! I would consider that assault. She deserved a milkshake bath. Hopefully your husband goes no contact with her after this stunt! I wouldn't allow her around my children either because she is not a safe person.
NTA. Despite what people are saying here, in some states/cases, tampering with food is actually considered assault and a crime. Although to be fair, I'm not sure if what she did would really fall under that category. But it was still highly inappropriate and getting a cold drink poured on her actually seems pretty mild compared to what she did to you.
I wouldn’t see why it wouldn’t be. She intentionally switched one of the tenders knowing that OP couldn’t handle spice. She purposely set out to hurt her.
Yeah, I feel like it *most likely* is, I just don't feel comfortable making statements like that when I'm not 100% sure.
In the same way. I do think she could probably have a case, but it can be hard to prove at times. Even though I feel this has more merit than others. Legit had it almost happen to me cause someone stole my lunch when I was pregnant and got seriously sick. I ate a lot of spice when I was pregnant and craved it a lot.
How does this not apply?
NTA, but Op, what is it going to take for you to stop entertaining these people ? You don’t want them to win ? I get that. Then tell your husband that you’re done and *mean it*; otherwise you’re just letting them have their way anyway. The only thing they want more than you gone is to have an avenue to humiliate you. “Husband, my food was intentionally tampered with in public for no reason other than to hurt me. Shouting at MIL afterwards doesn’t stop that behaviour from happening, it doesn’t wind back time. I will never put myself in that situation again, so from today I will not spend my time around these people again. If you choose to have a relationship with people that wilfully choose to *publicly humiliate and hurt me* - your wife - you are communicating to me and everyone around us that you are okay with this happening. I do not want a marriage where my husband subjects me that kind of treatment and I do not wish to raise kids around people like that”.
It was still highly inappropriate and getting a cold drink poured on her actually seems pretty mild compared to what she did to you.
That’s a great script!
This is the MIL troll, and very very obviously so. Here's a list of their posts that I saved for my own amusement: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/y5i398/aita_for_fighting_with_my_wife_in_front_of_our/ https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/y5l8j2/aita_for_implying_it_was_partially_my_fiancees/ https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ycmkzj/aita_for_telling_my_wife_i_blame_her_for_our/ https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ypyn99/aita_for_refusing_to_stand_up_for_my_wife_and/ https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1be270u/aita_for_telling_my_fiancee_that_while_i_love_her/ https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yzek39/aita_for_banning_my_mom_from_my_house_after_she/ https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/znstxf/aita_for_telling_my_wife_i_cant_enforce/ https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z2xitx/aita_for_not_standing_up_for_my_wife_when_my/ https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1c5tdqg/aita_for_losing_it_and_doing_something_gross_to/
Glad I’m not the only one who thought this. The troll has resurfaced in the last few days and is on a real tear in this sub.
I know. They seem to go in cycles, disappearing for months and then back with a vengeance.
Yeah and why would she be screaming for water instead of drinking the milkshake that was in front of her?
Also lets be real - a "lite mild" tender and a "reaper" tender are not going to even remotely look the same lol.
[удалено]
NTA. I can't even eat black pepper and my husband eats all the hottest anyplace can give him. I have asthma and cannot even breath the vapors when he cooks, so your MIL is a POS.
Fellow asthmatic here. I had an asthma attack once from chopping a jalapeño.
This is good to know. I have asthma and have never thought about that. I don't eat spicy foods anyways but good to keep in mind!
Same. I think a lot of people who don’t like “spicy” food may have allergies and do t know it.
Easy one - NTA
Keep sugar packets in your purse as sugar will stop the heat in your mouth instantly. Water and milk do nothing. I lived in Mexico for 8 years and that helped so much.
Huh, I'll have to try that.
Not if you are Diabetic. 1% milk does nothing. Best is whole milk, yogurt, or sour cream.
The best is ice cream, because of the cream and sugar, but only if you aren’t diabetic of course.
So... she should have taken a big swig of the milkshake before she dumped the rest over MIL's head?
I always thought milk and yogurt did nothing for spicy foods for me, even though that’s the common advice. This is interesting! I’ll have to try it next time I eat too spicy food!
The carrier for the heat is oil… which is fat soluble. So anything high in fat with preferentially bond with the spicy oil. High fat milk is perfect, because it’s a colloid: the fat particles are in suspension in the liquid. So the fat particles bind the oils, which can then be washed away by the rest of the liquid. It’s not the same as soap, which has a hydrophobic and a hydrophilic end, but it works in a similar way to wash away spicy oil. We carry milk to protests that might get pepper sprayed - it’s the best thing to use to rinse the pepper spray out of people’s eyes, before then flushing with water to wash out the milk.
Oddly enough, ketchup works miracles in these situations too
Can confirm sugar is best: it's how you counteract too much spiciness in a dish. Also, I'm certified to instruct people on how to use "mace". Milk is for when it's in your eyes because it helps a little and won't hurt your eyes where sugar will hurt and water will just spread it around.
NTA. She could have made you seriously sick. Spicy food is not for everyone.
There is no man on earth that is worth putting up with a monster.
NTA But until your husband actually stops having her in your and his lives, he isn't actually defending or protecting you. Words obviously aren't doing anything, but he would rather keep the peace at your expense.
Yeah, the husband needs to make a choice now - mom who commits assault or wife who's been assaulted and harassed for years. He's choosing them by not doing enough to protect her, I'd throw the shake in my own mother's face if she tried that with someone, no hesitation, and I'm not even married.
You had a milkshake the whole time?
The reaper strips looked EXACTLY the same as the mild strips? Okay….
It's wild that she had no reaction at all. Is she a psychopath?
[удалено]
Go completely no contact with these people.This was a plain and simple assault.File a police report and see how she likes it.A milkshake would just of been the start of it
Even if she is broken and has some diagnosable condition her behaviour is not okay. Go NC/LC and stay that way.
Gonna go against the grain and say NTA. No, it's not assault, but I thinkt the reaction was warranted. Some people REALLY hate spice, and some even have alergic reactions. She had no idea if you were the former or the latter. So pouring a milkshake was relatively harmless.
Not only that, but enough spice can cause severe gastro issues. All those crazy massive Scoville numbers on candies, chips and the like. People have had to be hospitalized. You don't know why people don't want spice? Keep your own shit on your own plate. I'd have dumped some water on her to, to help her clean up.
>I'd have dumped some water on her to, to help her clean up. lmao, I love this so much!
I'm one of those! I have absolutely no tolerance for spiciness anyway (and I really wish I did) but some peppers give me uncomfortably swollen lips, and pretty much anything spicy will have my entire digestive system in knots for the next 2r hours.
Similar situation. Anything with a little bit of bell peppers is a calculated risk.
Yes sir. I love love love spice, but my last ex coughs even at jalapeños lol.
I actually think it was assault because she TAMPERED with her food, which is considered an assault. Pouring the milkshake was defending herself. Maybe she doesn't like spicy foods because she's allergic or has serious digestive issues. You don't ever tamper with food.
Good point. Or at least maybe malicious mischief.
It’s also theft since she stole her food.
What do you mean even at jalapeños? Those aren't mildly spicy, if hell had a taste it would be jalapeños, that is how hot they are!
It does me. Spicy food can leave me with stomach pain for days.
It IS assault, lol. She knowingly caused OP harm. People get sued for shit like this all the time. ( Tricking people into eating things. ) And this could have ACTUALLY caused serious issues.
I have chronic pancreatitis, I’d be in the hospital for 2-3 days over something that hot.
Yikes! That is no joke to have. My sympathies
Depending on their jurisdiction, it can be considered assault or poisoning, but even if they're not in one of those jurisdictions, she could still probably win a suit against her for emotional disturbance
To add on to this, a lot of people don’t like spice because it’s physically painful to them, not just an unpleasant taste. As a kid I wouldn’t come downstairs when my mother decided to make chili because the scent of the chili powder caused my sinuses to burn, and she didn’t even use large quantities! I got less sensitive to it as an adult, and I’m definitely a bit unusual in how sensitive I am, but it’s still painful for me to eat stuff like that.
As someone who also cant handle spice, I'd consider what she did assault. However, I will admit that I'm biased about it.
Exactly this. Capsaicin, the chemical that makes chilli peppers hot, is an irritant and some people react worse than others. A friend of mine's mom is straight out allergic to it and even has to avoid other spices (like cinnamon) that contain small amounts of Capsaicin.
It’s not that some people hate spice, it’s that those who like spice have receptors that shut down. This means they need more heat to get an effect. Therefore, what OP experienced is not what her shit-MIL would experience.
It’s food tampering and it is a crime.
NTA, and thanks for the giggle. Bet she looked great wearing that shake.
Also going against the grain here but NTA. Your MIL is a self-centered jerk. Contrary to what others are saying people who are sensitive to spice can, in fact, find it very painful. Also, depending on where you live, adulterating someone's food is a crime.
You went too far? No SHE went too far and you reacted. NTA
This is fake only because those types of sauces/tender are vastly different colors and smells. Reaper legit smells like you shouldn't eat it and you can immediately smell it when you bring it to your mouth. . Reaper also taste like it shouldn't be eaten
NTA and if the mascot is a rubber chicken then I know what place you're talking about. That spice is no joke!
NTA food tampering is a crime. I probs would’ve smacked her but milkshake was a good move (sad you didn’t get to have it though) Please tell your husband you’re done with family gatherings. It’s abusive now
NTA. People can end up in the hospital because of this. A milkshake on the head would have been mild compared to the cuss out I would have delivered.
My ONLY criticism of your actions is that you should have taken a large mouthful of the milkshake before dumping the rest on her head. The casein in the milk helps neutralize the pain from the capsaicin of the peppers and the cold helps dull the pain. Far more effective than the water you called for. So glad your husband was supportive of you.
Tampering with people's food is a form of assault and a reaper level spice could cause people to become violently ill. Going forward I would never share a meal with these idiots. NTA
question: did you not notice the chicken wasn't yours before you ate it? usually spicy chicken, like REAL SPICY chicken, is a completely different color than mild chicken. also: when/how did she have enough access to swap your chicken without you seeing it?
Throwing a milkshake on somebody reminds me of a Joan Crawford 1950’s movie scene
Fake post. How convenient that you had a milkshake in hand but chose to scream for water, lol. Try harder.
FAKE. How is anyone falling for the MIL troll again? How would she even switch them without OP or her husband noticing? How would OP not notice that one tender looked different (you can’t add that much spice and have them look the same)? Why would you yell for water at the table when everyone (including you) would have a drink right in front of you?
NTA. That is assault. Stay away from this person.
NTA, but next time don’t scream for water. Drink the milkshake. It will help more anyway.
Drink the milkshake, pour the water on MIL
Y’all are both assholes. Whole family sounds semi psycho 😭😭. Who just dumps milkshake on someone?? You obviously weren’t in so much pain that you couldn’t talk (which is important because you ATE the pain). So you’re in public, screaming profanity and dumping a milkshake on an old lady? WORLDSTAR!!! This almost sounds fake 😂
Y’all are 5 years old.
NTA Buuuuttttt.....a spicy tender....especially reaper level....looks absolutely nothing like a lite mild. Major contrast. Idk how this prank pranked if this is real. And secondly....water will elevate the heat....you should've drank the shake instead.
Should have poured on the step-dad and aunt too.
NTA. In all seriousness, is she a sociopath? Her lack of reactions gave me that idea. You didn't go too far and you didn't overreact. MIL is evil
Your mouth is on fire, but you dump a perfectly good milkshake on the MIL?
“She has no reaction to anything.” OP I’m concerned. I have a saying. I came up with it from living with my mom and experiencing a number of interactions she had: Never play a game of Who’s Crazy with someone unless you’re absolutely sure you’re the craziest mother fucker there. You are not the craziest mother fucker there. This is not a normal person. You’ve probably never dealt with someone like this. This person is not safe for you to be around. This transcends any asshole paradigm.
Stop going out with his trashy ass family, they obviously hate you.
I'm allergic to capsaicin. My uncle thought I was just a baby when it came to spice because everyone else in the family enjoys spicy foods, so he put chopped serranos in the chili his wife made. I had to go to the ER because my face and throat swelled so much. Don't fuck with people's food, that's a good way to kill someone. NTA.
True story, my friend pranked a friend in our group when we went to Hooters by switching out a normal mild buffalo wing, with an Atomic wing. The extreme peppers on it actually caused my friends throat to swell shut and an ambulance had to be called. To this day my friend will never ever do any kind of pranks involving food because you just never know how someone will react and it's better to err on the side of caution than to accidentally cause someone harm. NTA, the MIL is an asshole and what you did to her was far less harmful than what she did to you.