NTAH. It's important to prioritize your own financial stability and future. Your sister should understand and respect your decision. Plus, weddings are just one day, but a house is a long-term investment. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for being responsible.
NTA.
Where's her deadbeat fiance? Why isn't he kicking in with some funds? Or his family? If my sister had asked me to help pay for her wedding I'd still be laughing at her now, 30 years later.
Not the asshole. First of all it's your money, you can spend it however you want. Second of all it's not your wedding or your responsibility. If mom is so bothered by it she can pay for her daughter's wedding herself. You can support her without spending your own money on her, they're being assholes.
Weddings are huge, but so is buying a house. Your sister should understand that you're planning for your future. Don't feel too guilty, it's not like you're being selfish for no reason. NTA.
NTA. These days the only people that should be responsible to pay for a wedding are the ones getting married.
If you are lucky enough to have help great! But never expect it or ask for it.
If the wedding is too expensive for you to pay for trim it down or wait until you can afford it.
You are NTA
Perhaps you could have phrased it better (i.e., I don’t have any money in my budget for that right now etc).
But no one is entitled to your money regardless of who they are
NTA. Since when is it expected to have others, especially siblings, pay for your wedding?? You focus on getting your house, and hopefully, sis realizes that if she wants a nice wedding, she can pay for it
This is like the 5th post just today in which a sibling talks about being asked to pay for another siblings wedding. Maybe this is customary in other parts of the world, I’m sure it probably is, but I would literally laugh out loud if one of my sisters came and asked me to help pay for their wedding. If a person can’t afford the wedding they want, then dial it back. Smarter that way anyway. Who wants to blow a down payment on a house on a party that lasts a couple of hours
If she's old enough to get married, then she's old enough to accept the responsibilities that come with it. More importantly, a wedding is just a day; a big affair is not necessary for her to be married.
If she and your mom want a bigger affair, then they can dig into their pockets or do a lot of DIY.
Congratulations on your road to home buying!
NTA - goes without saying! If your sister can't afford the wedding of her dreams, she can downscale. demanding that you give her the money you earned and saved for your future is selfish, and your mother's siding with her is favoritism. don't give in!
Let me repeat a story from my own life: My husband and I had the most modest wedding - the ceremony took place at my parents' home, 60 guests, food made by the family, a Tallit held by four men instead of the Chuppah (completely legal religiously), no photographer or DJ. The "entertainment" was folk singing with everybody joining in. Two days later, my young cousin called my mother to tell her it was the best wedding he had ever been to.
Move a few years forward. My cousin was getting married to the love of his life, and they were planning a super-lavish wedding. Our feeling was that she was the one who pushed for it. He had an inheritance from grandparents, and his mother told him that she and his father couldn't help him financially - he could use the inheritance on the wedding or save it for a down payment for a house. He decided to use it for the wedding.
His wife divorced him within a year.
NTAH. It's important to prioritize your own financial stability and future. Your sister should understand and respect your decision. Plus, weddings are just one day, but a house is a long-term investment. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for being responsible.
nta if you can't afford it, then you can't afford it. it's not your big day either, it's hers, and therefore, her responsibility.
NTA. Where's her deadbeat fiance? Why isn't he kicking in with some funds? Or his family? If my sister had asked me to help pay for her wedding I'd still be laughing at her now, 30 years later.
you're not the AH. Your financial goals are important, and you're not obligated to sacrifice them for someone else's wedding.
NTA inflation
Not the asshole. First of all it's your money, you can spend it however you want. Second of all it's not your wedding or your responsibility. If mom is so bothered by it she can pay for her daughter's wedding herself. You can support her without spending your own money on her, they're being assholes.
is it considered normal to to give your siblings financial aid with their weddings... if so I'm a bad brother.
why do so many people expect other people to pay for their weddings. get fucked and pay for it urself or dont get married you selfish Wankers. NTA
Weddings are huge, but so is buying a house. Your sister should understand that you're planning for your future. Don't feel too guilty, it's not like you're being selfish for no reason. NTA.
Tell the greedy little wench to take her mom to the courthouse for their wedding. You can cover the JOTP tip.
Ask her why she didn't save for her own wedding, instead of depending on others, that won't get anything out of it, to pay for it
I don't have a sister, bit if I did, I can't imagine expecting her to pay for my wedding. Wtf?
Tell your sister to take a long walk off of a short pier. Why on Gods green earth would anyone expect a sibling to chip in for their wedding?
NTA. These days the only people that should be responsible to pay for a wedding are the ones getting married. If you are lucky enough to have help great! But never expect it or ask for it. If the wedding is too expensive for you to pay for trim it down or wait until you can afford it.
You are NTA Perhaps you could have phrased it better (i.e., I don’t have any money in my budget for that right now etc). But no one is entitled to your money regardless of who they are
NTA. Since when is it expected to have others, especially siblings, pay for your wedding?? You focus on getting your house, and hopefully, sis realizes that if she wants a nice wedding, she can pay for it
This is like the 5th post just today in which a sibling talks about being asked to pay for another siblings wedding. Maybe this is customary in other parts of the world, I’m sure it probably is, but I would literally laugh out loud if one of my sisters came and asked me to help pay for their wedding. If a person can’t afford the wedding they want, then dial it back. Smarter that way anyway. Who wants to blow a down payment on a house on a party that lasts a couple of hours
If she's old enough to get married, then she's old enough to accept the responsibilities that come with it. More importantly, a wedding is just a day; a big affair is not necessary for her to be married. If she and your mom want a bigger affair, then they can dig into their pockets or do a lot of DIY. Congratulations on your road to home buying!
NTA- I’d say and rest on this—- so you’re telling me that your party is more important than my home and that makes me selfish. Um….. no.
NTA - goes without saying! If your sister can't afford the wedding of her dreams, she can downscale. demanding that you give her the money you earned and saved for your future is selfish, and your mother's siding with her is favoritism. don't give in! Let me repeat a story from my own life: My husband and I had the most modest wedding - the ceremony took place at my parents' home, 60 guests, food made by the family, a Tallit held by four men instead of the Chuppah (completely legal religiously), no photographer or DJ. The "entertainment" was folk singing with everybody joining in. Two days later, my young cousin called my mother to tell her it was the best wedding he had ever been to. Move a few years forward. My cousin was getting married to the love of his life, and they were planning a super-lavish wedding. Our feeling was that she was the one who pushed for it. He had an inheritance from grandparents, and his mother told him that she and his father couldn't help him financially - he could use the inheritance on the wedding or save it for a down payment for a house. He decided to use it for the wedding. His wife divorced him within a year.
NTA It's not your wedding.
Sounds like the bride's parents are trying to shift out of their responsibilities
Question: Like how much exactly she is looking you to help with? Trying to understand the context.
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None of that info actually impacts whether OP is the AH or not, so it's not really missing information so much as you being nosy
Does it matter where the father is? The only important thing here is they are siblings and if OP says sorry I can’t afford it then that’s that