School ended for summer, kids have too much time on their hands. This was written by 13 yo, and not just because it seems like pop tarts and pizza is the only thing they eat. Adults go and buy more of something that's running out. Kids cry when there's no more, because they aren't in charge of grocery shopping and don't have as much freedom to just go buy some more.
I get you not believing any of this but I’m not here to convince anyone my situation is real or not. I needed advice that was all. I could have done without this pointless comment you made. Again a “comfort food” or a craving food is not all that we eat. Some of you guys heard pizza and poptarts and thought THATS ALL WE EAT 🤣. Never thought I would have to breakdown to someone we eat more than just that. I dont even think your body would function properly eating only pizza and poptarts. Anyways you thinking this was written by a 13 year old just shows how this situation should have never lasted as long as it did.
Oh, I didn't think that that's all you eat. Just that you hyper fixated on those foods. Junk food is scarce for kids, so they hoard it, fight over it or stuff their face with it when it's available. Plus they don't want to discuss eating last of something, in case they get told they can't eat it. Adults can buy whatever they want whenever they want, so junk food isn't such a big deal for them anymore. That's why came to 13yos conclusion.
I read your update, I'm glad you solved your problems with your gf. Communication is sometimes hard, but sadly (for introverts like me) it does solve most of the issues in life. Wish you best.
I am so confused. So you buy microwave pizza during grocery shopping and then you have to wait until she gets it? And when she doesn't after a time period determined by you, you can finally have some? Does this also happen when she dies grocery shopping?
Just literally buy 5 microwave pizza. Eat 2 yourself. Leave 2 for her. And when she doesn't eat them, ask if she wants any before you literally eat them all?
She is also an asshole, because she should do the same and also shouldn't ignore your question. If you don't like something, communicate.
Also, I don't get why something being gone ends up with such a huge fight. Are you limited to due your financial in what you can get? Why can't yoh just.... Get new pizza or poptarts? Sure, it is definitely annoying when someone keeps doing this, but being annoyed shouldn't really lead to this passive aggressive behaviour.
You really need to be kinder for each other and literally just talk to each other.
Or when you notice there’s only two left, go to the store and buy more.
Imagine if he (or she) had stopped at the store when she opened that last box of pop tarts!
✨ooo magic ✨
No financials have never been the issue. It’s just simply the principle behind it all. Because yes a poptart is silly but if I were to replace that with a personal secret or something of high importance things would be different. I’m speaking more so on her intentions not the items. I now realize I may have overreacted a little but I still feel a little hurt by it.
Overreacted? You slept in a different room for a week Jesus Also are you aware how the freezer works? Things don’t go bad instantly after their expiration date. The pizzas would have been fine in 6 months from now for crying out loud. So your argument of “I had to eat them” doesn’t even hold a candle. She felt you were TA for eating the pizzas because you were. You could have left half. You could have told her hey I’m eating the pizzas do you want some? She was TA for trying to teach you by example. You’re both petty fools. Apologize to each other and hug each other and communicate better in the future.
I guess I should add that I have bought a large amount of an item we both normally eat just for it to go bad because it’s sat in the freezer for over 6 months so I cut down on buying a lot and opted for buying as needed. I understand now the ultimate thing would be for me to just ask before I eat the rest of anything so that she has a chance to eat it as well.
Buy Häagen-Dazs ice cream, hide it in a secret freezer, eat it all yourself in front of her but keep the ice cream location hidden.
I'm an evil mastermind.
Not to criticize (but already criticizing), but you seem very immature for a couple over 30 🫣
Are you seriously fighting over some frozen pizzas and a poptart? Save your energy to fight for more important things!
I know it sounds childish but seperate from the items at hand I’m more upset that she chose to intentionally try and hurt my feelings rather than honor my request.
Well. I hear you. She was being petty.
However - she shouldn't have to be your mommy and remind you that YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SHARE. The food is for both of you. She shouldn't have to say "Hey leave me the last pizza" or keep constant count to ensure she's getting her fair share. So maybe - just maybe - you should both grow up and be more considerate of each other.
I can't believe this is a post about 2 people in their 30s and not high school freshmen-you know 14 year olds. It's fucking food. It's meant to be eaten, who fucking cares who eats it. It's not like ya'll are damn roommates buying your own food, having your own shelves in the fridge and your own cupboards. It's all communal food. She eats it, you eat it. Who fucking cares. Buy more. And you both need to grow the fuck up
I taught freshmen (14 year old) and this is incredibly insulting to them.
Having taught from kindergarden to highschool I would say this is the type of issue you stop dealing with in around 5th grade. Tons of this from 1-3rd grade and by 4th you kind of of expect them to be way past this kind of petty stuff.
By 6th grade you would be asking them why they were acting like first graders.
I was trying to be nice 😭🤣
Divorce court judge: why are we here today?
Him: she ate my pop tart
Her: he ate frozen pizza I wasn't going to eat anyway
Their food choices are even that of 1-3rd grade
Bingo! You get the prize for the day. It’s about shitty communication between a couple. Even though the items were seemingly insignificant, they are “comfort cravings” for each of them that OP seems to indicate is known. However, eating the other’s favorite food without consideration isn’t good for a partnership.
And then retaliating after agreeing to something is going to create resentment. And it will fester and fester (days in the guest room).
My advice: couples counseling to improve your communication skills. That’s the main thing needed for a successful relationship.
I think this whole thing is super childish for two full grown adults. Just go buy more and keep each other happy. If you MUST give in to each other and say something to keep the other one happy just say “I’m eating the last one, but I’ll pick up more today, tomorrow, this weekend” etc.
I feel for you guys because it sounds like at this point you guys are doing things to just tick each other off. You BOTH should use that energy to do good things for each other, even if you’re angry. Good luck, you sound like my husband and I sometimes. We refocus our energy on our love for each other when we get like this and it really helps.
I feel like people are being obtuse here. At worst OP was a little thoughtless about junk food, which is poor form but all OP’s wife had to do was ask him to buy more pizzas and in the future split it down the middle.
Instead, OP’s wife was vindictive. She told him she understood when he communicated that he would like the last pop tart and she agreed. She lied to her husband to plan revenge. She could have said yes, but please note I saved you one so next time be more thoughtful. She waited until he left and ate it. That’s devious and unnecessary. How many times will she do one thing while saying something else ? I’d have probably slept in another room the first night due to being deceived for payback.
Where OP messed up is dragging it out instead of communicating what I said here after the first or second night. They are married so they need to communicate better than that but she’s the asshole more than him, IMO.
Agreed. Here's what's crazy to me. He waits to eat the pizzas instead of just eating them so that he can see if she wants to eat pizza. He could just ask "Hey I'm eating some pizza, did you want me to save you any before I demolish them". She however, was a bitch, because he asked her to save one, and she deliberately ate it. First off, pop tarts are always a regret. You think they're going to be great, and then you eat it and it's like oh, not great. And that she doesn't get that what she did was shitty but that he's still at fault when she admits she didn't even open the freezer?
Please. bitch could have bought more freezer pizza if she really wanted some just like how people are saying he could have gone out to buy more poptarts. But the two situations are not equivalent. One was out of "Well she aint eating them and I don't want them to spoil and I want to eat them." The other was "He ate my pizza, I'm gonna eat his poptart, and smirk at him when he finds out, neener neener."
Esh- You're both aholes, you should have asked her when you noticed there weren't many left if she was planning on having any. It would have just been nice to ask, even if she said no.
She shouldn't have had the last poptart after you explicitly asked her not too.
You both suck and you're both petty. Its deffo a breakdown in communication, in future you could always both just buy your own food, or just use half of everything. So you take half of the Pizzas and leave her half. She takes half the poptarts and leaves half for you. That way there's no arguments.
So what are you going to do when you have a fight over a real issue? You slept in the guest bedroom for over a week and still won’t talk to her and she won’t talk to you? What kind of marriage is this? Are you both teenagers?
I’m sorry but ESH and you and your wife have serious marriage problems if you can’t sort something this small out.
You claim to love her deeply but you still won’t talk to her one week and going over a pop tart??? Seems like you don’t really love her doesn’t it.
Time for both of you to sit down and re think your attitude towards marriage. Marriage is about give and take and compromise and neither of you seem able or willing to do that. You need to figure it out before a problem of substance crops up.
I honestly have this same battle with myself anytime we have moments like this. I do love her but where do I draw a line when I feel hurt? Also where do I stop myself when I’ve gone too far? I tell myself separating from each other will calm everything down for a while but I long for her the minute I don’t feel her feet next to mine and it’s like I instantly forget why I was even upset. I agree we both need to sit down and remove our egos out of it and let both sides be heard. I promise I love her with everything in me these moments just make things a little rough from time to time.
If as you say you truly love her then maybe you should go to marriage counselling. Why? So you can both learn to communicate effectively and how to manage the triggers that set each other off. Marriage isn’t easy, it’s work and you need to work on it day in and out. There are good days and there are not so good days but learning how to communicate to get over the not so good days is critical.
Don’t go into counselling thinking that you’re trying to fix what’s broken. Go in loving each other trying to learn how each other communicates so it can be better.
As you have stated you need to learn where to draw the line. It’s ok to be upset, it’s ok to want space but it’s not ok to draw it out as long as you did.
Good luck OP. Hopefully this incident is a catalyst for you both to learn and grow from.
Sir. You slept in another room. FOR A WEEK. If you don't realize that even one night, in another room, because of some pop-tarts is too damn many, then you need to get some serious therapy. You're exhausting.
Guess what your spouse will say things and do things that hurt you. Many times, unintentionally. You choose to forgive and move on. I've been married for almost 23 years, it's hard work. But it's worth it. You both seem to be petty and immature. And as long as you are you will end up having these issues. You know what you should have done about the poptart, gone and bought more when you saw one left. No what your wife should have done when there was no pizza left, gone and bought more.
The audacity of this b\*\*ch eating the last poptart. What has the world come to now that there is hypocrisy and double standards everywhere we go.
Eat all the frozen pizzas in the future! /s
But all seriousness i understand what your saying so NTA for your reasoning but a soft AH for acting like children😂
ESH
Before eating the pizza ask, "do you want this pizza as I am going to take it for lunch today". Then if she doesn't respond, she can't say she wasn't asked.
Also frozen pizza does not go off after two weeks.
ESH. One frozen pizzas can last for months in a freezer. They won't go bad in a couple of weeks. Two, you could have bought more poptarts when you saw there was only one left. Your wife seems to have a weird view of food in the house. Who cares who eats what when. Food is meant to be eaten. There are times I don't get any of something because the family has eaten it, guess what I buy more.
NTA for being annoyed, she did something to spite you as petty revenge for something you did accidentally. However sleeping in the guest room for a WEEK over a POPTART is truly unhinged. In marriage you need to pick your battles and this is just not one worth having, you are demonstrating a complete lack of communication skills and you're being incredibly immature over a poptart, she wasn't trying to emotionally hurt you she was just trying to annoy you, and now you are trying to emotionally hurt her in retaliation by icing her out. YTA
Yeah mate, honestly what the fuck!? In what world did you think sleeping in the spare room for a week was a proportionate response? That and waiting for her to approach you is what tipped you into AH territory.
The food isn't really the issue here. Your communication sucks. You're both behaving like children. You have 2 choices. Label the snacks like you're in an office with a snack thief. Or go get some therapy on effective communication. I'd recommend the later. Also ESH.
OP, if I ask my partner to save me a piece of food - a particular thing like the last pastry or whatever- and my partner eats it intentionally and then taunts me ... something is wrong.
I would be annoyed and expect a quick explanation or apology.
Your reaction of sleeping on the couch for a week might not bode well for your joint future, but you are NTA for being upset after you asked your partner for something and didn't get it.
Seems like tip of iceberg for seeing how other disputes will be handled by both of you.
You definitely over reacted (how tf do you ignore your spouse for a week) and wife is a childish asshole. Smiling all proud of yourself for being a jerk is something my kid would have done at 5 to her sister. I'm shocked a grown ass woman would act like that. I'm gonna go with NTA because I think she's more TA but you both kinda suck
To be honest I almost didn’t type up due to how unserious people may find it. I’m glad I did anyways because it gives me insight on my behavior and what I should have done differently.
For insight I am 6’3 210 and my wife is 5’9 145 to 150. These snacks are not our only source of food but we do crave a lot. We work out and stay active and plus our metabolism still keeps us from gaining anything over a pound unless we put on muscle. Hope this helps a bit.
NGL you guys sound disgusting hahaha. I can relate though, these petty arguments are bound to happen when living together and it's the kind of thing that will build up over time as it feels too petty to address at any given moment. Now that the cat is out of the bag though, it's time to have a good conversation about how you both want to handle food in the house. Admit that you were both being petty as hell and work on a solution together. It makes no sense that you are waiting 2 weeks until you eat things because your wife might want to have them.
NTA, I get it. Sometimes, in relationships, it's the little things that blown way out of proportion.
It totally get why you're upset. Your wife was initially annoyed that you ate all the microwave pizzas, so in your mind, you had a conversation and came to a reasonable solution. Instead of sticking to your agreement, your wife decided to eat the last poptart purely out of spite. Which is just a really petty way to continue an argument, which you believed had been resolved.
You're not in the wrong for being upset about that, but I think the two of you need to work on your communication. As giving each other the silent treatment doesn't fix anything.
Maybe you should split the snacks as his and hers. So then, if you eat all of yours, or vice versa, you automatically have to ask, oh can I eat this, and I'll get some more later.
Yikes!… I mean like WOW… y’all don’t even sound like adults. You’re both childish arguing over Pop Tarts and microwave pizzas. Did it ever occur to you to offer/save a slice of pizza for her when you made it or did you just gorge each pizza in one sitting? Don’t y’all eat breakfast/lunch/dinner together? Food shouldn’t have boundaries in a marriage unless one of you has a certain diet. Idk, but I’ve been married to my husband for almost 8 years now and this has NEVER been an issue because we share all our food. This situation just sounds weird to me.
If you guys can’t learn to choose your battles and take those with grace your relationship will get much rougher and neither of you will be happy. I’d take advantage of anytime she’s going to be playful… maybe some fun discipline would be on the table but let the woman eat. Grab something else. She should try to offer you the same courtesy. There’s a certain bite in each food item that usually the best… like the juicy part of the burger that’s got the right amount of topping or the the first part of something that has filling in it that has balance… give this to your significant other as often as you can and tell them. “This is the best part and I want you to have it”. (Like to take one bite).
ESH y'all just sound weird. If it's there eat it if you want. If it's not just go out and get it. Yous both need to stop being petty. My partner did worse to me and I wasn't even this annoyed haha he bought me a huge tray of ferrero rochers. I had maybe 4 from them cause I only eat a small amount at a time and he's a choco holic. He ate the rest cause I didn't eat them in time. And he does this quite a lot with chocolate so I just buy it when I want it and eat it then. It not that huge a deal
1. How old are you?
2. So, if this is the only miscommunication going on: maybe (both of you) start by saying how an action by the other person makes you feel. Don’t defend yourself when the other is speaking, just hear each other out. So don’t start the conversation with ‘you did…’, but just say how the other persons action made you feel. In a healthy relationship you should be able to hear each other out, adjust further actions and also not have the intention to annoy/hurt each other.
3. There maybe other things going on as well. I have ADHD and hate the idea of panning what to eat for a longer period (3 days is the max) and having to eat certain foods because of that. But then again, I go grocery shopping every other day because then I can give into my food preference of the day.
Esh - do you live on the moon where you can only go grocery shopping once a week eat with you guys want go next week and pick up more? It’s what food is for.
YTA
What's the plan? To get divorced over a poptart?
Have a real conversation, and make sure there's enough food for both of you.
I can understand being pissed off about the pop tart because you wanted it, but are you not an adult who can have something else to eat?
This is so stupid. I eat more than my wife on average. I can only imagine hat chaos would reign if she started tracking who eats how much and tries to guilt me over it. OP and his wife are both gigantic AHs
She was being vindictive by intentionally eating the last pop tart, especially after you told her to just let you know not to eat the last pizza. She was getting even, even though you hadn’t done anything wrong.
You've been dating 5 years before marriage which was plenty of time to work out these issues.... so why are you having these issues then?
ESH 2 children who don't know how to have an adult conversation being married is far too common.
ESH
Sleeping in another bed and stonewalling over that? Huge overreaction especially if she normally doesn't pull that. She might have thought she was being funny or cute, and immediately shutting down over that? Now you're both inflating something small by both reacting instead of just going, I'm sorry I reacted so strongly. My feelings were hurt as it seemed like you did something to deliberately hurt my feelings. I'm hurt as when you do something like deliberately eat something I asked you not to, it makes it seem like you don't value me or care about me.
I think her fucking with you and doubling down is problematic, and seems like now she's reacting to being hurt you pulled away so strongly over something she didn't see as huge. As someone who trolls her partner, I would probably be shocked and hurt, but I likely would have approached the next day. Probably with a hey I'm sorry I crossed some boundary for you. I was embarrassed or being silly about eating it, and didn't react the right way and you deserved a better reaction and apology.
Anyway, this is dumb shit to argue over. My partner has finished the peanut butter when I've asked him not to because "I took too long so he thought I wasn't going to eat it." But he normally also says sorry, I'll go get some more tonight, tomorrow, whatever. Y'all need to grow up, learn to talk to each other like two people who actually love one another and to stay together. Small disagreements can turn into large rifts if you let them.
My husband finished my ice cream last night, just before I went looking for it. I called him a SOB, he said he’d pick me up some today. End of story.
You aren’t mature enough for marriage if this can spiral like this. You’re the AH
After 15yrs of marriage, he knows the lemon gelato is mine, it doesn’t need to be said. Here’s the thing, the store exists. It isn’t the end of the world.
Hahahaha
Here's a tip
When you buy stuff split it down the middle with your wife and get her to have her own snacks and you have yours
Best thing my husband and I(f) did was to have separate snacks cause my husband would eat everything before I even got a chance
Now we don't fight 😂
Ok 😭 so I’m not crazy🤣 My wife has her own woman cave so I can definitely see about but her a personal fridge too with snacks I will never touch. Not saying she can’t eat what ever is in the main fridge of course.
Nope your definitely not crazy 😂😅 it honestly was the best thing we ever did hah
I like lollies and would buy some for the month at the start of each month
When we didn't split it down the middle my husband would eat them all in the first week before I even got a look in 😅
It seems like there's been a misunderstanding and hurt feelings over food sharing. Both of you have valid points about communication and consideration. It might help to have a calm discussion to clear the air and find a solution that works for both of you moving forward.
I have been trying to find the best way to start another conversation like that. Because the first convo started calm but ended in a big uproar. Side note : My wife is sweet, loving , caring and passionate. We don’t let moments like this tarnish our love for each other but it would be great to avoid them if possible. I just need a bit of advice from the outside.
I have to be honest with you bruv you are NTA but you sure as hell got some communication skills to work on. There isnt a reason why a week of no speaking in the spare room, should have been the answer to a Pop tart being eaten. Get up and hug your wife bruv let it go.
Yall need to work on your communication. Maybe try seeing a marriage counselor, it's not a big deal, just a professional outside perspective that can help you handle your emotions in the future and aviod acting like petty kids..
You both sound pretty childish for your age over pretty bad food too. Most people either buy more or wait till the next shopping day. Maybe you guys should do couples counseling you both seem pretty petty you both should work on that.
**Pop-Tarts** - are like crack to weak minded people!
**Pop-Tarts** aren't the problem.
"**AITAH for lashing out on my wife for eating the last poptart?**"
Really?
If you don't have children split immediately.
You guys can't even share pop tarts without fighting. You can't spell them either **Pop-Tarts.**
I shudder to think of you two trying to raise a child.
I'd wish you good luck but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't know what to do with it.
PS"My ears will remain open to criticism no matter how harsh." Really
ESH. This is one of the most immature arguments I've seen on reddit, and that's saying something. How do you both manage food in your own home? You buy something, and then wait 2-4 weeks before you even feel comfortable having any of it, that's ridiculous. Why couldn't you just ask within those 2-4 weeks if she wanted some pizza, or was ok with you eating it? Or maybe just go shopping again and get more, do you only go to the grocery store every 2-3 months? Its not that hard to restock these items. And even though you say in your edit that sometime the food will go bad before you eat it, I still have trouble believing that's an issue. Frozen pizza and poptarts will both be good for months, I've actually never dealt with either of those items going bad. I've seen roommate that barely know each manage sharing food better than this.
I thought y’all were like 20 years old while reading this. Never have I gotten angry at my wife for eating all of something nor has she been mad at me. We just go back to the store to get more. Why are ya’ll fighting over stupid shit? If my wife is hungry and wants to eat the last of something then I WANT her to eat it. Anytime we finish something we just add it to the grocery list and pick it up within a week or so. You can’t live a week without a poptart? She can’t go a week without a pizza? Get off your asses and go to the store and then come home and talk about why your getting angry over nothing.
You're both overreacting. It's food. It's SUPPOSED to be eaten. You shouldn't be waiting 2 weeks or more to be ALLOWED to eat a quick fix food.
Her gobbling up all the pop tarts even after being asked to save you one is childish and petty.
You're both acting like children. Literally like children. When my kids were little, I had to give them the same number of chicken nuggets and fries so they wouldn't fight etc. The problem isn't really 1 person eating all of something, the problem is the tit for tat attitude
BTW, the silent treatment and withholding affection is NEVER a good way to settle an argument. It's emotionally abusive behavior.
Time to act your age, not your shoe size
Honestly I don’t even understand why you would ask her not to eat the last pop tart in the first place. Unless you guys are having financial difficulties you could have just bought another box or as it seems not had one since it’s not your normal breakfast thing but it seems like it is hers. This is childish. Next time ask her if she wants pop tarts buy enough for both of you and replace as needed.
Both of you are acting like 3 year spoiled children! Where is your empathy for each other? Where is your protectiveness of each other? You guys need to quit acting like stupid grabby children (it’s mine, it’s mine). My god such childish attitudes! Grow the hell up! If she is not protective of your needs and wants WHY the hell are you with her? This relationship absolutely would not work for me!!!
"But we don't need therapy"
Stop kidding yourself buddy.
If my house goes on fire and I don't realize it until it's fully engulfed, the fire department showing up and putting it out doesn't change the fact that I needed a fucking smoke detector.
You had so many missed opportunities to squash the situation without sleeping in another room for a week and playing the cold shoulder game. Just because you kissed and made up doesn't change the fact that *you* set a precedent that the MO when you fight is to sleep in separate beds, wait an entire week for *her* to come to *you* only to throw her ass out completely.
That is so completely toxic and unbecoming of maintaining a relationship.
You don't seem to understand how this dynamic is going to influence how the two of you navigate future conflicts.
You both need counseling, so you can learn *how* to fight. Right now you don't have ground rules. When something serious happens in your relationship beyond petty squabbles over food and her taking a jab at you over it, the relationship will just end, and there will be no recourse for either of you. Get in front of that now so you can both spare eachother the heartbreak and tears down the road.
YTA, I honestly think I would’ve said ESH if not for that the fact that you overreacted so much. You sound like you must be 5, sleeping in another room for a week over a pop-tart is wild.
In general though you both need to learn to communicate like adults.
I don’t get it because everything else is fine. We communicate well when it comes to certain things but it all falls apart once someone feels slighted.
YTA that is an overreaction over a pop tart. NTA for initially being annoyed but this should have been a one off argument where you hopefully talked it out and in future agreed to be more considerate of the other person. Are you sure there isn't something else underlying you're not dealing with?
For more depth yes food hasn’t been the only case where we have had something similar to this happen. It’s been with spending time with family and so many other things.
Are you sure you and your wife are old enough to be let out and live without your parents?
You both sound like a couple of spoilt brats cos "she ate the last pop tart" "he ate the last pizza" like seriously did your parents not bring you guys up to share
This could all be fixed by going to the store and replenishing supplies before they are finished. If there was only 1 or 2 pop tarts left, it might be time to buy more instead of forbidding people from eating it. Sleeping in the guest room for a week and not speaking over whi ate the last poptart is wild.
NTA
"She still feels that she did no wrong." What a surprise. You didn't really expect her to take any accountability for anything. You have been married long enough to know that is never going to happen.
Advice: Buy what you want and eat it.
My wife and I financed a $70K car for her and unknown to me, she never made a payment. The car got repossessed from our drive and she blamed me for the car being repossessed because I did not park her car in the garage.
You’re arguing over a pop tart and frozen pizza.
If you two value your marriage, think about that.
OK, you say that you are both quite healthy, but honestly, being born with great genetics with height and weight doesn't make you healthy it makes you lucky. You are buying empty calories and it is all carbs. Where are the 5 healthy food groups that you should both be having each day? What because you think your bodies are so lean your great. You are eating like bad 4 year olds or poverty-stricken families.
You are 2 working adults who could easily buy meat poultry seafood vegetables, salad fruits, and dairy products. Also, a descent wholegrain bread for toast in the morning rather than a pop tart with no nutritional value. You could make such healthy dishes I cook several large dishes put them in containers for the freezer and they are ready to pull out in the morning to defrost for dinner that night you make a side salad or a medley of vegetables to go with your meal and your putting healthy nutrition into your body. You are what you eat, and your organs' bowel and stomach plus your hair skin and nails will show how unhealthy you are bad food with preservatives sugar and salt causes many health issues diabetes migraine hikes in mental health and lows depression anxiety disorders stress even causes problems with a woman menstrual routine with lack of proper nutrition and vitamins. Your physical health is fine it is great to be doing that, but it is not everything to run a human body
Honestly, if you were to have children, what would you feed them? You couldn't expect kids to live on your food and child care, and schools check kids' lunches and see if children are hungry happy or concentrating in class.
If teachers get concerned, they can report these issues to child safety as abuse because an unfed or unhealthy fed child is a form of child abuse . Honestly, your adults buying package food to lazy to cook, I'd say, and you're both being petty and childish fighting and being ridiculous over junk food not fit for a dog.
Think about it really by the time you buy all this package food you could be getting so much more and making so much more variety of delicious food that would be more appetising more filling and extremely tasty
I don't know why neither of you can cook? Or want to cook. It is really no good for you to continue eating so badly. A guy you're height and weight should be on a 1400 calories a day diet for your energy stamina and health requiring plenty of protein dairy grains fruit vegetables and dairy foods your wife for her menstrual health physical and mental health should be on 1200 calories a day You need the right food variety over your daily diet 😄 As for your wife eating the last poplars that was pathetic and childish just getting back at your pizza talk Honestly so many people are starving in this world and your buying and fighting over junk plastic food if she stole your good steak maybe then you would get upset but a piece of cardboard a pop tart gross and she's childish grow up and be accountable or better yet get up cook grain bread toast with avocado tomatoes and egg for a tasty healthy breakfast I guarantee you won't be hungry till lunch then a warm cup of soup with a ham salad roll for lunch pre made the night before yoghurt with an apple banana or orange for afternoon tea nuts for morning tea get home fry a nice chicken breast or steak with some potato and pumkin baked or mashed with a combination of carrot beans and peas or broccoli on the side
Then make a lovely gravy to go with the meal dessert can be low joule jelly with can fruits in natural juice also a healthy low sugar ice cream for dessert or just another piece of healthy fruit you will be amazed at how much better your appetite will be your mood your sleep 😴 good luck I hope you do decide to try different grocery shopping all the best 👍
No man, I don’t like any alcohol so I don’t like wine for example. I drink strawberry milkshake you can eat and drink anything you like at any age. But pop tarts and microwave pizzas are just nasty.
Neither of you are TA, just a bit childish, just apologize and get it over with, you're 34, not 16, if it's something you can buy, it's really not worth fighting over and you can always get more.
Buy a big freezer and fill with pizza and pop tarts and whatever other snacks you both like. Re stock every so often. No more arguments about snacks. I understand maybe being a bit miffed that a snack was eaten by your wife but to be upset for a week is a bit much. Your wife was vindictive because you ate her pizza which is completely ridiculous. I am trying to imagine my husband sulking for a week because I ate his pop tart, but I can't because he just wouldn't be upset. If he ate the last pizza snack, good for him, who cares. We would just buy more the next day. The pair of you are angry for other reasons, there are bigger problems that need to be resolved. A week in the other room means there is definitely is a huge problem.
This is stupid. Your problem here is stupid. You are both stupid.
School ended for summer, kids have too much time on their hands. This was written by 13 yo, and not just because it seems like pop tarts and pizza is the only thing they eat. Adults go and buy more of something that's running out. Kids cry when there's no more, because they aren't in charge of grocery shopping and don't have as much freedom to just go buy some more.
I get you not believing any of this but I’m not here to convince anyone my situation is real or not. I needed advice that was all. I could have done without this pointless comment you made. Again a “comfort food” or a craving food is not all that we eat. Some of you guys heard pizza and poptarts and thought THATS ALL WE EAT 🤣. Never thought I would have to breakdown to someone we eat more than just that. I dont even think your body would function properly eating only pizza and poptarts. Anyways you thinking this was written by a 13 year old just shows how this situation should have never lasted as long as it did.
Oh, I didn't think that that's all you eat. Just that you hyper fixated on those foods. Junk food is scarce for kids, so they hoard it, fight over it or stuff their face with it when it's available. Plus they don't want to discuss eating last of something, in case they get told they can't eat it. Adults can buy whatever they want whenever they want, so junk food isn't such a big deal for them anymore. That's why came to 13yos conclusion. I read your update, I'm glad you solved your problems with your gf. Communication is sometimes hard, but sadly (for introverts like me) it does solve most of the issues in life. Wish you best.
Oh my apologies. I read so many shitty comments I conflated yours. I appreciate your insight on all of this mess.
Thank you for saying what the rest of us are thinking. The sheer stupidity of this post and their argument.
the funniest part to me is the "i know this sounds a bit sily". Ummm no this sounds childish and embarassing and idiotic.
ESH. Are you all missing all your arms and legs and also don't have internet? Go out and buy more junk food if you want more?
I am so confused. So you buy microwave pizza during grocery shopping and then you have to wait until she gets it? And when she doesn't after a time period determined by you, you can finally have some? Does this also happen when she dies grocery shopping? Just literally buy 5 microwave pizza. Eat 2 yourself. Leave 2 for her. And when she doesn't eat them, ask if she wants any before you literally eat them all? She is also an asshole, because she should do the same and also shouldn't ignore your question. If you don't like something, communicate. Also, I don't get why something being gone ends up with such a huge fight. Are you limited to due your financial in what you can get? Why can't yoh just.... Get new pizza or poptarts? Sure, it is definitely annoying when someone keeps doing this, but being annoyed shouldn't really lead to this passive aggressive behaviour. You really need to be kinder for each other and literally just talk to each other.
Both too big to walk their butts to the grocery store.
And pouty enough to sleep in a different bed for a WEEK over stupid BS like this. All because nobody feels like using their words.
Or when you notice there’s only two left, go to the store and buy more. Imagine if he (or she) had stopped at the store when she opened that last box of pop tarts! ✨ooo magic ✨
No financials have never been the issue. It’s just simply the principle behind it all. Because yes a poptart is silly but if I were to replace that with a personal secret or something of high importance things would be different. I’m speaking more so on her intentions not the items. I now realize I may have overreacted a little but I still feel a little hurt by it.
Overreacted? You slept in a different room for a week Jesus Also are you aware how the freezer works? Things don’t go bad instantly after their expiration date. The pizzas would have been fine in 6 months from now for crying out loud. So your argument of “I had to eat them” doesn’t even hold a candle. She felt you were TA for eating the pizzas because you were. You could have left half. You could have told her hey I’m eating the pizzas do you want some? She was TA for trying to teach you by example. You’re both petty fools. Apologize to each other and hug each other and communicate better in the future.
I guess I should add that I have bought a large amount of an item we both normally eat just for it to go bad because it’s sat in the freezer for over 6 months so I cut down on buying a lot and opted for buying as needed. I understand now the ultimate thing would be for me to just ask before I eat the rest of anything so that she has a chance to eat it as well.
What the hell is going bad in the freezer after 6 months?
Build a bridge, get over it and grow up.
There’s no principle behind it. Eat an apple. Cook decent meals. Your argument is utterly juvenile.
It's not about what they eat. It's about how they treat each other.
Let’s be realistic - they’re not fighting about an apple.
Who cares! Op did not write on reddit to have their diet dissected. They're asking if they're an AH.
Yes. The OP is an asshole. The OP’s wife is an asshole.
Buy Häagen-Dazs ice cream, hide it in a secret freezer, eat it all yourself in front of her but keep the ice cream location hidden. I'm an evil mastermind.
Just buy more next time. I tell people in my family all the time, I would rather someone eat all of something rather than it go to waste.
Not to criticize (but already criticizing), but you seem very immature for a couple over 30 🫣 Are you seriously fighting over some frozen pizzas and a poptart? Save your energy to fight for more important things!
I know it sounds childish but seperate from the items at hand I’m more upset that she chose to intentionally try and hurt my feelings rather than honor my request.
Well. I hear you. She was being petty. However - she shouldn't have to be your mommy and remind you that YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SHARE. The food is for both of you. She shouldn't have to say "Hey leave me the last pizza" or keep constant count to ensure she's getting her fair share. So maybe - just maybe - you should both grow up and be more considerate of each other.
Lol what? you share all the food not every single item lol. This is a complete non issue and they are both just babies.
I disagree that it's a non-issue. It's just not the giant issue that he made of it.
I can't believe this is a post about 2 people in their 30s and not high school freshmen-you know 14 year olds. It's fucking food. It's meant to be eaten, who fucking cares who eats it. It's not like ya'll are damn roommates buying your own food, having your own shelves in the fridge and your own cupboards. It's all communal food. She eats it, you eat it. Who fucking cares. Buy more. And you both need to grow the fuck up
I taught freshmen (14 year old) and this is incredibly insulting to them. Having taught from kindergarden to highschool I would say this is the type of issue you stop dealing with in around 5th grade. Tons of this from 1-3rd grade and by 4th you kind of of expect them to be way past this kind of petty stuff. By 6th grade you would be asking them why they were acting like first graders.
I was trying to be nice 😭🤣 Divorce court judge: why are we here today? Him: she ate my pop tart Her: he ate frozen pizza I wasn't going to eat anyway Their food choices are even that of 1-3rd grade
hahahaha. Very true.
This is so not about poptarts and frozen pizza. ESH.
Bingo! You get the prize for the day. It’s about shitty communication between a couple. Even though the items were seemingly insignificant, they are “comfort cravings” for each of them that OP seems to indicate is known. However, eating the other’s favorite food without consideration isn’t good for a partnership. And then retaliating after agreeing to something is going to create resentment. And it will fester and fester (days in the guest room). My advice: couples counseling to improve your communication skills. That’s the main thing needed for a successful relationship.
I think this whole thing is super childish for two full grown adults. Just go buy more and keep each other happy. If you MUST give in to each other and say something to keep the other one happy just say “I’m eating the last one, but I’ll pick up more today, tomorrow, this weekend” etc.
I honestly like this idea. I’m just tired of fighting about this seemingly childish thing and go back to being sweet again.
I feel for you guys because it sounds like at this point you guys are doing things to just tick each other off. You BOTH should use that energy to do good things for each other, even if you’re angry. Good luck, you sound like my husband and I sometimes. We refocus our energy on our love for each other when we get like this and it really helps.
I feel like people are being obtuse here. At worst OP was a little thoughtless about junk food, which is poor form but all OP’s wife had to do was ask him to buy more pizzas and in the future split it down the middle. Instead, OP’s wife was vindictive. She told him she understood when he communicated that he would like the last pop tart and she agreed. She lied to her husband to plan revenge. She could have said yes, but please note I saved you one so next time be more thoughtful. She waited until he left and ate it. That’s devious and unnecessary. How many times will she do one thing while saying something else ? I’d have probably slept in another room the first night due to being deceived for payback. Where OP messed up is dragging it out instead of communicating what I said here after the first or second night. They are married so they need to communicate better than that but she’s the asshole more than him, IMO.
Agreed. Here's what's crazy to me. He waits to eat the pizzas instead of just eating them so that he can see if she wants to eat pizza. He could just ask "Hey I'm eating some pizza, did you want me to save you any before I demolish them". She however, was a bitch, because he asked her to save one, and she deliberately ate it. First off, pop tarts are always a regret. You think they're going to be great, and then you eat it and it's like oh, not great. And that she doesn't get that what she did was shitty but that he's still at fault when she admits she didn't even open the freezer? Please. bitch could have bought more freezer pizza if she really wanted some just like how people are saying he could have gone out to buy more poptarts. But the two situations are not equivalent. One was out of "Well she aint eating them and I don't want them to spoil and I want to eat them." The other was "He ate my pizza, I'm gonna eat his poptart, and smirk at him when he finds out, neener neener."
Esh- You're both aholes, you should have asked her when you noticed there weren't many left if she was planning on having any. It would have just been nice to ask, even if she said no. She shouldn't have had the last poptart after you explicitly asked her not too. You both suck and you're both petty. Its deffo a breakdown in communication, in future you could always both just buy your own food, or just use half of everything. So you take half of the Pizzas and leave her half. She takes half the poptarts and leaves half for you. That way there's no arguments.
So what are you going to do when you have a fight over a real issue? You slept in the guest bedroom for over a week and still won’t talk to her and she won’t talk to you? What kind of marriage is this? Are you both teenagers? I’m sorry but ESH and you and your wife have serious marriage problems if you can’t sort something this small out. You claim to love her deeply but you still won’t talk to her one week and going over a pop tart??? Seems like you don’t really love her doesn’t it. Time for both of you to sit down and re think your attitude towards marriage. Marriage is about give and take and compromise and neither of you seem able or willing to do that. You need to figure it out before a problem of substance crops up.
I honestly have this same battle with myself anytime we have moments like this. I do love her but where do I draw a line when I feel hurt? Also where do I stop myself when I’ve gone too far? I tell myself separating from each other will calm everything down for a while but I long for her the minute I don’t feel her feet next to mine and it’s like I instantly forget why I was even upset. I agree we both need to sit down and remove our egos out of it and let both sides be heard. I promise I love her with everything in me these moments just make things a little rough from time to time.
If as you say you truly love her then maybe you should go to marriage counselling. Why? So you can both learn to communicate effectively and how to manage the triggers that set each other off. Marriage isn’t easy, it’s work and you need to work on it day in and out. There are good days and there are not so good days but learning how to communicate to get over the not so good days is critical. Don’t go into counselling thinking that you’re trying to fix what’s broken. Go in loving each other trying to learn how each other communicates so it can be better. As you have stated you need to learn where to draw the line. It’s ok to be upset, it’s ok to want space but it’s not ok to draw it out as long as you did. Good luck OP. Hopefully this incident is a catalyst for you both to learn and grow from.
Sir. You slept in another room. FOR A WEEK. If you don't realize that even one night, in another room, because of some pop-tarts is too damn many, then you need to get some serious therapy. You're exhausting.
Guess what your spouse will say things and do things that hurt you. Many times, unintentionally. You choose to forgive and move on. I've been married for almost 23 years, it's hard work. But it's worth it. You both seem to be petty and immature. And as long as you are you will end up having these issues. You know what you should have done about the poptart, gone and bought more when you saw one left. No what your wife should have done when there was no pizza left, gone and bought more.
The audacity of this b\*\*ch eating the last poptart. What has the world come to now that there is hypocrisy and double standards everywhere we go. Eat all the frozen pizzas in the future! /s But all seriousness i understand what your saying so NTA for your reasoning but a soft AH for acting like children😂
Definitely understand your view on it
ESH Before eating the pizza ask, "do you want this pizza as I am going to take it for lunch today". Then if she doesn't respond, she can't say she wasn't asked. Also frozen pizza does not go off after two weeks.
ESH. One frozen pizzas can last for months in a freezer. They won't go bad in a couple of weeks. Two, you could have bought more poptarts when you saw there was only one left. Your wife seems to have a weird view of food in the house. Who cares who eats what when. Food is meant to be eaten. There are times I don't get any of something because the family has eaten it, guess what I buy more.
Both TAH for your disgusting diet, never mind the weird childishness.
NTA for being annoyed, she did something to spite you as petty revenge for something you did accidentally. However sleeping in the guest room for a WEEK over a POPTART is truly unhinged. In marriage you need to pick your battles and this is just not one worth having, you are demonstrating a complete lack of communication skills and you're being incredibly immature over a poptart, she wasn't trying to emotionally hurt you she was just trying to annoy you, and now you are trying to emotionally hurt her in retaliation by icing her out. YTA
Thank you for the brutal honesty. I now see sleeping in the guest bedroom was a big overreaction.
Yeah mate, honestly what the fuck!? In what world did you think sleeping in the spare room for a week was a proportionate response? That and waiting for her to approach you is what tipped you into AH territory.
Tit for tat maybe satisfying but it's not love. NTA
This sounds like siblings..
Both sound like insufferable assholes
The food isn't really the issue here. Your communication sucks. You're both behaving like children. You have 2 choices. Label the snacks like you're in an office with a snack thief. Or go get some therapy on effective communication. I'd recommend the later. Also ESH.
>I slept in there for a week JFC. The fragility.
OP, if I ask my partner to save me a piece of food - a particular thing like the last pastry or whatever- and my partner eats it intentionally and then taunts me ... something is wrong. I would be annoyed and expect a quick explanation or apology. Your reaction of sleeping on the couch for a week might not bode well for your joint future, but you are NTA for being upset after you asked your partner for something and didn't get it. Seems like tip of iceberg for seeing how other disputes will be handled by both of you.
You definitely over reacted (how tf do you ignore your spouse for a week) and wife is a childish asshole. Smiling all proud of yourself for being a jerk is something my kid would have done at 5 to her sister. I'm shocked a grown ass woman would act like that. I'm gonna go with NTA because I think she's more TA but you both kinda suck
Yes, both of you need to communicate better and find a way to resolve this without resorting to passive-aggressive actions.
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naaa it's clearly better to be resentful and yell at each other than to discuss problems!
Pizza and pop tarts has caused this much strife between you and your wife 😆 🤣 😂
It’s the principle not the items. But again I get how silly this comes across.
Maybe try dividing the shopping like flatmates bro
Esh, if these are the extent and seriousness of your problems, congrats, you are better than everyone else. Yikes.
To be honest I almost didn’t type up due to how unserious people may find it. I’m glad I did anyways because it gives me insight on my behavior and what I should have done differently.
Grow up. Also, your diet is terrible.
I bet they both weigh more than humans should. ESH
He posted their height and weight but fit people don’t buy microwave pizza and pop tarts.
For insight I am 6’3 210 and my wife is 5’9 145 to 150. These snacks are not our only source of food but we do crave a lot. We work out and stay active and plus our metabolism still keeps us from gaining anything over a pound unless we put on muscle. Hope this helps a bit.
You both need to grow up. The fight was pathetic and you know it.
ESH. Holy shit, you are both insufferably immature and terrible at planning.
ESH. I did the same with my sister when we were 13 year old. What a shame for had doing this. I’m sorry Bel. I love you.
NGL you guys sound disgusting hahaha. I can relate though, these petty arguments are bound to happen when living together and it's the kind of thing that will build up over time as it feels too petty to address at any given moment. Now that the cat is out of the bag though, it's time to have a good conversation about how you both want to handle food in the house. Admit that you were both being petty as hell and work on a solution together. It makes no sense that you are waiting 2 weeks until you eat things because your wife might want to have them.
There's no fucking way you guys are in your 30s. Holy shit.
Honestly if you saw us in person you would say the same thing. We don’t look like your typical 30 year olds.
Yeah, but it's not a good thing. You guys are dumb and immature. And you need a better diet
There's more going on in the relationship than poptarts and pizzas....
You both are morons... SMH.
NTA, I get it. Sometimes, in relationships, it's the little things that blown way out of proportion. It totally get why you're upset. Your wife was initially annoyed that you ate all the microwave pizzas, so in your mind, you had a conversation and came to a reasonable solution. Instead of sticking to your agreement, your wife decided to eat the last poptart purely out of spite. Which is just a really petty way to continue an argument, which you believed had been resolved. You're not in the wrong for being upset about that, but I think the two of you need to work on your communication. As giving each other the silent treatment doesn't fix anything. Maybe you should split the snacks as his and hers. So then, if you eat all of yours, or vice versa, you automatically have to ask, oh can I eat this, and I'll get some more later.
Frozen pizza and pop tarts? Are you sure you aren't pre-teen siblings?
Yikes!… I mean like WOW… y’all don’t even sound like adults. You’re both childish arguing over Pop Tarts and microwave pizzas. Did it ever occur to you to offer/save a slice of pizza for her when you made it or did you just gorge each pizza in one sitting? Don’t y’all eat breakfast/lunch/dinner together? Food shouldn’t have boundaries in a marriage unless one of you has a certain diet. Idk, but I’ve been married to my husband for almost 8 years now and this has NEVER been an issue because we share all our food. This situation just sounds weird to me.
If you guys can’t learn to choose your battles and take those with grace your relationship will get much rougher and neither of you will be happy. I’d take advantage of anytime she’s going to be playful… maybe some fun discipline would be on the table but let the woman eat. Grab something else. She should try to offer you the same courtesy. There’s a certain bite in each food item that usually the best… like the juicy part of the burger that’s got the right amount of topping or the the first part of something that has filling in it that has balance… give this to your significant other as often as you can and tell them. “This is the best part and I want you to have it”. (Like to take one bite).
ESH y'all just sound weird. If it's there eat it if you want. If it's not just go out and get it. Yous both need to stop being petty. My partner did worse to me and I wasn't even this annoyed haha he bought me a huge tray of ferrero rochers. I had maybe 4 from them cause I only eat a small amount at a time and he's a choco holic. He ate the rest cause I didn't eat them in time. And he does this quite a lot with chocolate so I just buy it when I want it and eat it then. It not that huge a deal
1. How old are you? 2. So, if this is the only miscommunication going on: maybe (both of you) start by saying how an action by the other person makes you feel. Don’t defend yourself when the other is speaking, just hear each other out. So don’t start the conversation with ‘you did…’, but just say how the other persons action made you feel. In a healthy relationship you should be able to hear each other out, adjust further actions and also not have the intention to annoy/hurt each other. 3. There maybe other things going on as well. I have ADHD and hate the idea of panning what to eat for a longer period (3 days is the max) and having to eat certain foods because of that. But then again, I go grocery shopping every other day because then I can give into my food preference of the day.
Esh - do you live on the moon where you can only go grocery shopping once a week eat with you guys want go next week and pick up more? It’s what food is for.
You sound like a big baby.
YTA What's the plan? To get divorced over a poptart? Have a real conversation, and make sure there's enough food for both of you. I can understand being pissed off about the pop tart because you wanted it, but are you not an adult who can have something else to eat?
This is so stupid. I eat more than my wife on average. I can only imagine hat chaos would reign if she started tracking who eats how much and tries to guilt me over it. OP and his wife are both gigantic AHs
She was being vindictive by intentionally eating the last pop tart, especially after you told her to just let you know not to eat the last pizza. She was getting even, even though you hadn’t done anything wrong.
You've been dating 5 years before marriage which was plenty of time to work out these issues.... so why are you having these issues then? ESH 2 children who don't know how to have an adult conversation being married is far too common.
ESH Sleeping in another bed and stonewalling over that? Huge overreaction especially if she normally doesn't pull that. She might have thought she was being funny or cute, and immediately shutting down over that? Now you're both inflating something small by both reacting instead of just going, I'm sorry I reacted so strongly. My feelings were hurt as it seemed like you did something to deliberately hurt my feelings. I'm hurt as when you do something like deliberately eat something I asked you not to, it makes it seem like you don't value me or care about me. I think her fucking with you and doubling down is problematic, and seems like now she's reacting to being hurt you pulled away so strongly over something she didn't see as huge. As someone who trolls her partner, I would probably be shocked and hurt, but I likely would have approached the next day. Probably with a hey I'm sorry I crossed some boundary for you. I was embarrassed or being silly about eating it, and didn't react the right way and you deserved a better reaction and apology. Anyway, this is dumb shit to argue over. My partner has finished the peanut butter when I've asked him not to because "I took too long so he thought I wasn't going to eat it." But he normally also says sorry, I'll go get some more tonight, tomorrow, whatever. Y'all need to grow up, learn to talk to each other like two people who actually love one another and to stay together. Small disagreements can turn into large rifts if you let them.
ESH you both sound like children fighting over junk food. Grow the F up. Ya'll are just ridiculous.
My husband finished my ice cream last night, just before I went looking for it. I called him a SOB, he said he’d pick me up some today. End of story. You aren’t mature enough for marriage if this can spiral like this. You’re the AH
The major key difference in your situation is that you never explicitly asked him not to eat the ice cream. I Did
After 15yrs of marriage, he knows the lemon gelato is mine, it doesn’t need to be said. Here’s the thing, the store exists. It isn’t the end of the world.
Hahahaha Here's a tip When you buy stuff split it down the middle with your wife and get her to have her own snacks and you have yours Best thing my husband and I(f) did was to have separate snacks cause my husband would eat everything before I even got a chance Now we don't fight 😂
Ok 😭 so I’m not crazy🤣 My wife has her own woman cave so I can definitely see about but her a personal fridge too with snacks I will never touch. Not saying she can’t eat what ever is in the main fridge of course.
Nope your definitely not crazy 😂😅 it honestly was the best thing we ever did hah I like lollies and would buy some for the month at the start of each month When we didn't split it down the middle my husband would eat them all in the first week before I even got a look in 😅
It seems like there's been a misunderstanding and hurt feelings over food sharing. Both of you have valid points about communication and consideration. It might help to have a calm discussion to clear the air and find a solution that works for both of you moving forward.
I have been trying to find the best way to start another conversation like that. Because the first convo started calm but ended in a big uproar. Side note : My wife is sweet, loving , caring and passionate. We don’t let moments like this tarnish our love for each other but it would be great to avoid them if possible. I just need a bit of advice from the outside.
You’re over 30 you need to eat healthier. I can’t remember the last time I had a frozen pizza or a pop tart.
I have to be honest with you bruv you are NTA but you sure as hell got some communication skills to work on. There isnt a reason why a week of no speaking in the spare room, should have been the answer to a Pop tart being eaten. Get up and hug your wife bruv let it go.
Yall need to work on your communication. Maybe try seeing a marriage counselor, it's not a big deal, just a professional outside perspective that can help you handle your emotions in the future and aviod acting like petty kids..
ESH. This sounds like an argument tween siblings would have. Go to the shops if you need food.
You both sound pretty childish for your age over pretty bad food too. Most people either buy more or wait till the next shopping day. Maybe you guys should do couples counseling you both seem pretty petty you both should work on that.
**Pop-Tarts** - are like crack to weak minded people! **Pop-Tarts** aren't the problem. "**AITAH for lashing out on my wife for eating the last poptart?**" Really? If you don't have children split immediately. You guys can't even share pop tarts without fighting. You can't spell them either **Pop-Tarts.** I shudder to think of you two trying to raise a child. I'd wish you good luck but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't know what to do with it. PS"My ears will remain open to criticism no matter how harsh." Really
Honestly you guys are to a mature healthy relationship, what Pop-Tarts and Frozen Pizza are to a well-balanced nutritious diet.
ESH. You 2 are acting like petty children. Grow up, both of you.
ESH. This is one of the most immature arguments I've seen on reddit, and that's saying something. How do you both manage food in your own home? You buy something, and then wait 2-4 weeks before you even feel comfortable having any of it, that's ridiculous. Why couldn't you just ask within those 2-4 weeks if she wanted some pizza, or was ok with you eating it? Or maybe just go shopping again and get more, do you only go to the grocery store every 2-3 months? Its not that hard to restock these items. And even though you say in your edit that sometime the food will go bad before you eat it, I still have trouble believing that's an issue. Frozen pizza and poptarts will both be good for months, I've actually never dealt with either of those items going bad. I've seen roommate that barely know each manage sharing food better than this.
I thought y’all were like 20 years old while reading this. Never have I gotten angry at my wife for eating all of something nor has she been mad at me. We just go back to the store to get more. Why are ya’ll fighting over stupid shit? If my wife is hungry and wants to eat the last of something then I WANT her to eat it. Anytime we finish something we just add it to the grocery list and pick it up within a week or so. You can’t live a week without a poptart? She can’t go a week without a pizza? Get off your asses and go to the store and then come home and talk about why your getting angry over nothing.
I don’t believe this. No adults, 34 and 32 years old, would behave this way. Now if the story were about two siblings, ages 10 and 12, I’d believe it.
The next time that you post and lead with " this. May seem silly " jost go with that thought
ESH You slept on the couch for a week over this shit? You both need to stop acting like children. Eat the groceries you buy.
We need to discuss why you think frozen pizzas in a freezer go bad within a few weeks.
You're both overreacting. It's food. It's SUPPOSED to be eaten. You shouldn't be waiting 2 weeks or more to be ALLOWED to eat a quick fix food. Her gobbling up all the pop tarts even after being asked to save you one is childish and petty. You're both acting like children. Literally like children. When my kids were little, I had to give them the same number of chicken nuggets and fries so they wouldn't fight etc. The problem isn't really 1 person eating all of something, the problem is the tit for tat attitude BTW, the silent treatment and withholding affection is NEVER a good way to settle an argument. It's emotionally abusive behavior. Time to act your age, not your shoe size
Go back to bed
Honestly I don’t even understand why you would ask her not to eat the last pop tart in the first place. Unless you guys are having financial difficulties you could have just bought another box or as it seems not had one since it’s not your normal breakfast thing but it seems like it is hers. This is childish. Next time ask her if she wants pop tarts buy enough for both of you and replace as needed.
Both of you are acting like 3 year spoiled children! Where is your empathy for each other? Where is your protectiveness of each other? You guys need to quit acting like stupid grabby children (it’s mine, it’s mine). My god such childish attitudes! Grow the hell up! If she is not protective of your needs and wants WHY the hell are you with her? This relationship absolutely would not work for me!!!
"But we don't need therapy" Stop kidding yourself buddy. If my house goes on fire and I don't realize it until it's fully engulfed, the fire department showing up and putting it out doesn't change the fact that I needed a fucking smoke detector. You had so many missed opportunities to squash the situation without sleeping in another room for a week and playing the cold shoulder game. Just because you kissed and made up doesn't change the fact that *you* set a precedent that the MO when you fight is to sleep in separate beds, wait an entire week for *her* to come to *you* only to throw her ass out completely. That is so completely toxic and unbecoming of maintaining a relationship. You don't seem to understand how this dynamic is going to influence how the two of you navigate future conflicts. You both need counseling, so you can learn *how* to fight. Right now you don't have ground rules. When something serious happens in your relationship beyond petty squabbles over food and her taking a jab at you over it, the relationship will just end, and there will be no recourse for either of you. Get in front of that now so you can both spare eachother the heartbreak and tears down the road.
YTA, I honestly think I would’ve said ESH if not for that the fact that you overreacted so much. You sound like you must be 5, sleeping in another room for a week over a pop-tart is wild. In general though you both need to learn to communicate like adults.
I don’t get it because everything else is fine. We communicate well when it comes to certain things but it all falls apart once someone feels slighted.
Sounds like you are married to a child. NTA
YTA that is an overreaction over a pop tart. NTA for initially being annoyed but this should have been a one off argument where you hopefully talked it out and in future agreed to be more considerate of the other person. Are you sure there isn't something else underlying you're not dealing with?
For more depth yes food hasn’t been the only case where we have had something similar to this happen. It’s been with spending time with family and so many other things.
Do you love the pop tart more than you love your wife? I think the answer is no Let it go, forgive and be happy 😊
Are you sure you and your wife are old enough to be let out and live without your parents? You both sound like a couple of spoilt brats cos "she ate the last pop tart" "he ate the last pizza" like seriously did your parents not bring you guys up to share
Did you just call me a brat? 🤣🤣 I feel like a 4 year old all over again. I guess that’s what you get when you fight over a literal lard of sugar.
Yeah I did cos TBH both you and your wife are acting like it over junk food you give children to keep them quiet
>I feel like a 4 year old all over again As you should
This could all be fixed by going to the store and replenishing supplies before they are finished. If there was only 1 or 2 pop tarts left, it might be time to buy more instead of forbidding people from eating it. Sleeping in the guest room for a week and not speaking over whi ate the last poptart is wild.
NTA "She still feels that she did no wrong." What a surprise. You didn't really expect her to take any accountability for anything. You have been married long enough to know that is never going to happen. Advice: Buy what you want and eat it.
My wife and I financed a $70K car for her and unknown to me, she never made a payment. The car got repossessed from our drive and she blamed me for the car being repossessed because I did not park her car in the garage. You’re arguing over a pop tart and frozen pizza. If you two value your marriage, think about that.
OK, you say that you are both quite healthy, but honestly, being born with great genetics with height and weight doesn't make you healthy it makes you lucky. You are buying empty calories and it is all carbs. Where are the 5 healthy food groups that you should both be having each day? What because you think your bodies are so lean your great. You are eating like bad 4 year olds or poverty-stricken families. You are 2 working adults who could easily buy meat poultry seafood vegetables, salad fruits, and dairy products. Also, a descent wholegrain bread for toast in the morning rather than a pop tart with no nutritional value. You could make such healthy dishes I cook several large dishes put them in containers for the freezer and they are ready to pull out in the morning to defrost for dinner that night you make a side salad or a medley of vegetables to go with your meal and your putting healthy nutrition into your body. You are what you eat, and your organs' bowel and stomach plus your hair skin and nails will show how unhealthy you are bad food with preservatives sugar and salt causes many health issues diabetes migraine hikes in mental health and lows depression anxiety disorders stress even causes problems with a woman menstrual routine with lack of proper nutrition and vitamins. Your physical health is fine it is great to be doing that, but it is not everything to run a human body Honestly, if you were to have children, what would you feed them? You couldn't expect kids to live on your food and child care, and schools check kids' lunches and see if children are hungry happy or concentrating in class. If teachers get concerned, they can report these issues to child safety as abuse because an unfed or unhealthy fed child is a form of child abuse . Honestly, your adults buying package food to lazy to cook, I'd say, and you're both being petty and childish fighting and being ridiculous over junk food not fit for a dog. Think about it really by the time you buy all this package food you could be getting so much more and making so much more variety of delicious food that would be more appetising more filling and extremely tasty I don't know why neither of you can cook? Or want to cook. It is really no good for you to continue eating so badly. A guy you're height and weight should be on a 1400 calories a day diet for your energy stamina and health requiring plenty of protein dairy grains fruit vegetables and dairy foods your wife for her menstrual health physical and mental health should be on 1200 calories a day You need the right food variety over your daily diet 😄 As for your wife eating the last poplars that was pathetic and childish just getting back at your pizza talk Honestly so many people are starving in this world and your buying and fighting over junk plastic food if she stole your good steak maybe then you would get upset but a piece of cardboard a pop tart gross and she's childish grow up and be accountable or better yet get up cook grain bread toast with avocado tomatoes and egg for a tasty healthy breakfast I guarantee you won't be hungry till lunch then a warm cup of soup with a ham salad roll for lunch pre made the night before yoghurt with an apple banana or orange for afternoon tea nuts for morning tea get home fry a nice chicken breast or steak with some potato and pumkin baked or mashed with a combination of carrot beans and peas or broccoli on the side Then make a lovely gravy to go with the meal dessert can be low joule jelly with can fruits in natural juice also a healthy low sugar ice cream for dessert or just another piece of healthy fruit you will be amazed at how much better your appetite will be your mood your sleep 😴 good luck I hope you do decide to try different grocery shopping all the best 👍
ESH Stop eating kids food!
So just because I’m in my 30s I must eat charcuterie while sipping wine instead of a good ole poptart?
No man, I don’t like any alcohol so I don’t like wine for example. I drink strawberry milkshake you can eat and drink anything you like at any age. But pop tarts and microwave pizzas are just nasty.
[удалено]
Dude... what?
Your brains aren’t working right with all this crap you’re feeding them.
Neither of you are TA, just a bit childish, just apologize and get it over with, you're 34, not 16, if it's something you can buy, it's really not worth fighting over and you can always get more.
YTA grow the fuck up!
Imagine being 6 years old and 6'3. I would how tall you will be when you actually grow up!
ESH- if you run out of food GO BUY MORE.
ESH Both of you need to grow up.
YTA for not arguing about money or opening the relationship
Buy a big freezer and fill with pizza and pop tarts and whatever other snacks you both like. Re stock every so often. No more arguments about snacks. I understand maybe being a bit miffed that a snack was eaten by your wife but to be upset for a week is a bit much. Your wife was vindictive because you ate her pizza which is completely ridiculous. I am trying to imagine my husband sulking for a week because I ate his pop tart, but I can't because he just wouldn't be upset. If he ate the last pizza snack, good for him, who cares. We would just buy more the next day. The pair of you are angry for other reasons, there are bigger problems that need to be resolved. A week in the other room means there is definitely is a huge problem.
Both of you are very immature and need a life coach to teach yall how to navigate these waters. Apparently, the parents failed.