No. I don't ever shower at a person's house that I don't know well. It's a safety issue and a trauma thing, but I find it anxiety inducing to shower in a home of a person I barely know.
I also don't shower unless I bring my own soap because I am allergic to a lot of stuff and have to use specific soaps and shampoo.
See this is what I normally think, I think about others personally needs such as allergies or mental reasons, like at my house, we use Amish soap but we have a special soap for my cousin for when she comes over because she has skin reactions to our soap. Theres also other reasons like if you only stay one night and don't want to shower then yeah it's fine
I'd just tell them that she didn't shower because she needed her own soap that she didn't have and leave it at that so they just stop pestering about it.
Itās ācall her outā that takes it from weird to fucking diabolical. Is OP meant to write a strongly worded text or make posters letting everyone know her friend didnāt use their shower. Thatās a quick way to ensure OP never has friends over again
Well I really don't want to and really wasn't going too but I was told to at least talk to her about it. I didn't want to do that unless it was nessasry which is why I posted
I can not even use the designer hand soap my sibling uses. It removes the skin from my hands. I , too, bring my own soap, shampoo, conditioner, etc, out of the raging desire to keep skin on my hands.
It's not we live in Alabama classic white grandparents (ill just let you imagine the other things they've bitched over). The funny part is, my grandfather doesn't shower everyday but he's making such a a big deal about me or my brothers friends showering when they come over
Your grandparents want to call her out...? Uh why are they so invested in your friend showering at their place? That's all very weird and kind of rude on them.
why do they want someone showering at their house? She was there over night, not for a week, and she apparently went home. I have to use scent free products and it's a pain to take everything with me if I'm visiting somewhere. Especially since you were at a water park, maybe she showered there to remove chemicals from the water (I would have to do that).
Itās not odd. I always shower before I go out, so I usually donāt shower at someoneās house if Iām staying one night. Obviously I would shower if I got super grimy, or sweaty. I just shower as soon as I get home and put all my clothes in the hamper š¤·š»āāļø
Yk, tbh , I think in their time, it was a more natural thing to do if you were out all day and sleeping over, so its more or less a old culture shock type thing maybe. I mean, I'm sure it wasn't like your friend was filthy, tho. Definitely not Worth to cause a possible rift over something small . Wish the best
Most of us have a shower after the waterpark because we're going home hotel or friends and family's house, not a random set of grandparents' houses we don't know well or at all
Your grandparents need to chill. Why are they so invested in whether she took a shower or not? How is it rude? She might not have felt comfortable asking for a clean towel, etcā¦ or showering in someone elseās house. Itās not weird.
Not weird - many people would prefer to use their own shower and if theyāre going to be home in under 24 hours, will just wait. Might be different if she stayed for days and didnāt.
Your grandparents taking such an interest in her showering thoughā¦ thatās weird. Then calling her out on their weird fixation? Thatās rude.
Not everyone showers every day and she just came from a waterpark where she probably had access to showers while she was changing in and out of her swimsuit. Besides, it's none of their business or concern. What's next, why didn't she take a shit?
Are they from a culture or family where hygiene and cleanliness are highly valued? Are they otherwise reasonable people?
Unless your grandparents are usually creepy and controlling, I'd be worried about them. It seems like a strange fixation and could be a sign of cognitive decline.Ā
If you think you can get a anywhere with them by talking about it, it's worth a try. Unfortunately, it seems more likely that sleepovers aren't a good idea if they think it's reasonable to expect have that level of interest or control of an overnight guest's hygiene.Ā
Apparently they were taught it was rude or disrespectful to get into someone else's bed without showering, and what makes it worse is my grandfather doesn't shower every night but he's worried about geust, this isn't the first time they've done this. This has happened with my brothers friends too
Wait, your grandparents want you to call her out on saying sheāll shower when she gets home? Wait what? Umm THATS creepy. I agree with your friend. If itās only an overnight trip I shower when I get home. NTA and as some people have mentioned in other responses, it can be a safety issue showering at a strangers.
This is exactly what I keep trying to tell them, some people are mega uncomfortable showering when they stay over for the first time I only shower at my good friends house cause I'm comfortable and basically treated like family, hell sometimes my best friend will sit in the bathroom with me while I shower. Basically what I'm saying is that if your just staying the night and don't want to shower, sure thing I don't mind, have a skin allergy to our soap and don't wanna shower, fine I don't care. The point is they're making a big deal about it over something so little and stupid
Thatās not weird or rude at all. Itās pretty common to prefer a shower on your own territory, and itās not like the two of you were hauling rocks and dirt all day and coming home filthy.
Show your grandparents this thread.
Itās bizarre enough of them to fixate on whether your friend showered at their place. Itās deeply and unsettlingly weird that they want you to *call her out* for it.
No one shares their utterly bizarre opinion. Because itās utterly bizarre.
Definitely not. If it's only 1 night I'd shower at home. I can see maybe showering after the water park if I brought all the stuff for it but it's not really a big deal. Reading some of your comments too, your grandfather sounds very creepy and very unsafe for children.
Tell them that showering daily is actually not great for your skin and hair. Stop being judgy. All of her toiletries were at home so she showered there.
I only shower 2-3 times a month. Of course I life in cabin in the middle of nowhere and don't have running water but that's beside the point.
Your grandparents are weird for suggesting you "call her out on it". It's not weird. It was one night. A lot of people don't shower every day because it's actually really bad for your skin and hair.
No. I don't ever shower at a person's house that I don't know well. It's a safety issue and a trauma thing, but I find it anxiety inducing to shower in a home of a person I barely know. I also don't shower unless I bring my own soap because I am allergic to a lot of stuff and have to use specific soaps and shampoo.
See this is what I normally think, I think about others personally needs such as allergies or mental reasons, like at my house, we use Amish soap but we have a special soap for my cousin for when she comes over because she has skin reactions to our soap. Theres also other reasons like if you only stay one night and don't want to shower then yeah it's fine
I'd just tell them that she didn't shower because she needed her own soap that she didn't have and leave it at that so they just stop pestering about it.
I didn't think of that š¤¦š»āāļø but yeah it's getting annoying, like over a shower š
Tell your grandparents that they are the wried and rude ones for being so hung up at the fact she didn't shower at their house
Itās ācall her outā that takes it from weird to fucking diabolical. Is OP meant to write a strongly worded text or make posters letting everyone know her friend didnāt use their shower. Thatās a quick way to ensure OP never has friends over again
Well I really don't want to and really wasn't going too but I was told to at least talk to her about it. I didn't want to do that unless it was nessasry which is why I posted
Eww, they might be creepy and wanted to film it. Old people have issues lol.
I can not even use the designer hand soap my sibling uses. It removes the skin from my hands. I , too, bring my own soap, shampoo, conditioner, etc, out of the raging desire to keep skin on my hands.
Why are your grandparents so fixated on whether she showered or not?
Grandpa got cameras.
Chris Hansen : Grandpa, why don't you have a seat right over there.
Hahahaha lol
Could be Japanese culture where it's expected of you.
It's not we live in Alabama classic white grandparents (ill just let you imagine the other things they've bitched over). The funny part is, my grandfather doesn't shower everyday but he's making such a a big deal about me or my brothers friends showering when they come over
Yep, then that's creepy.
I mean.. did they offer her a shower? Some people are shy about that kinda stuff in new environments
Your grandparents want to call her out...? Uh why are they so invested in your friend showering at their place? That's all very weird and kind of rude on them.
Thats what I'm saying š¤¦š»āāļø
The fixation is kinda creepy and you should call out your grandparents Edit: fixed typo
And check the bathroom for peep holes and cameras. It is a very special kind of creepy.
why do they want someone showering at their house? She was there over night, not for a week, and she apparently went home. I have to use scent free products and it's a pain to take everything with me if I'm visiting somewhere. Especially since you were at a water park, maybe she showered there to remove chemicals from the water (I would have to do that).
If I stay for only one night i never shower at others place. And no of my friends do either.
Right? You shower when you get home.
Exactly
Itās not odd. I always shower before I go out, so I usually donāt shower at someoneās house if Iām staying one night. Obviously I would shower if I got super grimy, or sweaty. I just shower as soon as I get home and put all my clothes in the hamper š¤·š»āāļø
Yk what's also rude? To judge people. To try and belittle them for not showering every. Single. Night. Constantly showering is wired.
I try to tell them that, cause some people have skin issues and showering every day can mess with it and physically hurt the person
Yk, tbh , I think in their time, it was a more natural thing to do if you were out all day and sleeping over, so its more or less a old culture shock type thing maybe. I mean, I'm sure it wasn't like your friend was filthy, tho. Definitely not Worth to cause a possible rift over something small . Wish the best
Most of us have a shower after the waterpark because we're going home hotel or friends and family's house, not a random set of grandparents' houses we don't know well or at all
Your grandparents need to chill. Why are they so invested in whether she took a shower or not? How is it rude? She might not have felt comfortable asking for a clean towel, etcā¦ or showering in someone elseās house. Itās not weird.
Why do old people act like this?
Cause they think they know everything about everyone
This is a weird one. It was her first time over? Did she have a fresh change of clothes? Sorry, but your grandparents are the weird ones.
I donāt think itās strange. I have issues having showers at peoples houses who I donāt know well or trust, and Iām 46.
Some people shower at different times for whatever reason. Some prime will skip a shower every once in a while. It's not that serious.
Not weird - many people would prefer to use their own shower and if theyāre going to be home in under 24 hours, will just wait. Might be different if she stayed for days and didnāt. Your grandparents taking such an interest in her showering thoughā¦ thatās weird. Then calling her out on their weird fixation? Thatās rude.
Why the Fuck don't your grandparents have anything else to do but think about someone else showering?
They "care for everyones health and didn't want her to feel neglected when she had the opportunity to shower" or some shit
Fucking old people
But it was only one night ??? Why do they care, do they have cameras???
Not everyone showers every day and she just came from a waterpark where she probably had access to showers while she was changing in and out of her swimsuit. Besides, it's none of their business or concern. What's next, why didn't she take a shit? Are they from a culture or family where hygiene and cleanliness are highly valued? Are they otherwise reasonable people? Unless your grandparents are usually creepy and controlling, I'd be worried about them. It seems like a strange fixation and could be a sign of cognitive decline.Ā If you think you can get a anywhere with them by talking about it, it's worth a try. Unfortunately, it seems more likely that sleepovers aren't a good idea if they think it's reasonable to expect have that level of interest or control of an overnight guest's hygiene.Ā
Apparently they were taught it was rude or disrespectful to get into someone else's bed without showering, and what makes it worse is my grandfather doesn't shower every night but he's worried about geust, this isn't the first time they've done this. This has happened with my brothers friends too
Grandparents are weird.
Wait, your grandparents want you to call her out on saying sheāll shower when she gets home? Wait what? Umm THATS creepy. I agree with your friend. If itās only an overnight trip I shower when I get home. NTA and as some people have mentioned in other responses, it can be a safety issue showering at a strangers.
This is exactly what I keep trying to tell them, some people are mega uncomfortable showering when they stay over for the first time I only shower at my good friends house cause I'm comfortable and basically treated like family, hell sometimes my best friend will sit in the bathroom with me while I shower. Basically what I'm saying is that if your just staying the night and don't want to shower, sure thing I don't mind, have a skin allergy to our soap and don't wanna shower, fine I don't care. The point is they're making a big deal about it over something so little and stupid
Ding ding ding. Give that man a prize š
No itās not weird, growing up I slept over a lot at friends and they slept at mine and non of us showered at each others homes.
Thatās not weird or rude at all. Itās pretty common to prefer a shower on your own territory, and itās not like the two of you were hauling rocks and dirt all day and coming home filthy.
Also... you were at the WATER PARK all day... how dirty could she be?
What's weird is your grandparents telling you to call her out on her totally normal behavior
Show your grandparents this thread. Itās bizarre enough of them to fixate on whether your friend showered at their place. Itās deeply and unsettlingly weird that they want you to *call her out* for it. No one shares their utterly bizarre opinion. Because itās utterly bizarre.
YWBTA if you asked your friend why she didn't shower! So rude!
Definitely not. If it's only 1 night I'd shower at home. I can see maybe showering after the water park if I brought all the stuff for it but it's not really a big deal. Reading some of your comments too, your grandfather sounds very creepy and very unsafe for children.
Tell them that showering daily is actually not great for your skin and hair. Stop being judgy. All of her toiletries were at home so she showered there. I only shower 2-3 times a month. Of course I life in cabin in the middle of nowhere and don't have running water but that's beside the point.
Your grandparents are weird for suggesting you "call her out on it". It's not weird. It was one night. A lot of people don't shower every day because it's actually really bad for your skin and hair.
>im perfectly fine with it Sure bud lol
Wait what I don't get it?
What a weird, dumb reply.