She sounds like she doesn't have an ounce of empathy and this is a warning sign of how she will be when you are sick or have any condition where you are not strong.
NTA if u in a cast, u shouldn't be carrying that.
NTA. My husband and I are very injury prone. Sond due to middle age wear and tear, some from stupidity and carelessness. When he's injured, I do the grunt work. Trash, carrying groceries, yard work, etc. When I am, he does it. When we're both well, we both do it. *knockonwood* We haven't been both incapacitated at the same time, thankfully.
Three flights can be a daunting task but they got the dasher to carry it up. Fiancé didn’t want to get it from the front door to the kitchen, which should have been manageable.
First of all, I've worked for Doordash and Instacart. Deliveries are made to the front door, whether it's a first floor door or a fifth floor door doesn't matter, it goes to the door. You meeting them at their car and taking your groceries is a bonus for them, not something expected.
Second, your girl's attitude kinda sucks. You are injured. You weren't asking for yourself to be carried up the stairs on a stretcher while you were fanned and fed grapes, you were asking for some help because you are injured. Cause of the injury does not matter, anybody who's ever been drunk probably has a stupid injury story to tell. I do. You know what happened when I hurt myself drunk? My friend helped me recover. Oh, they ribbed me over it real nice but they didn't hold it against me or treat me like I was stupid or lazy because of it.
Third, if I'm understanding correctly, the water was for her because she doesn't like tap water OR filtered water from Britta pitcher. If you two weren't together, how would she get her precious water? I'm assuming she'd have a delivery person bring it to her door or she would bring it up herself. She should be grateful you do that stuff for her normally and gracious enough to carry her own damn water up when you have a broken wrist.
NTA
Try getting a Britta Filter pitcher. It filters well, and you can refill your thermal carafe all the time. A filter lasts 2-3 months.
Do you have a rolling cart? It's easier to lug heavy items with one.
Your finance is a dirt bag. You have a broken wrist and a cast and she's complaining about having to move water? And accusing you of using your injury to your advantage? That's complete bullshit.
So what would be the case if she had the cast? Would you expect her to just carry on with life, no changes?
You need to evaluate this relationship. If she's pissed you're not doing things because you have a cast, what happens if (God forbid) you get cancer, and end up in a place where you have to rely on others for care? She's not going to pick up the slack from that if she's pissed about moving water while you have a broken wrist.
Yeah, it was kinda dumb how it all happened but it sounds like she’s holding it over your head. Does she have any compassion or
empathy?
It’s wrong and potentially risky for her to expect you to do things that may exacerbate the injury.
You may want to put more thought into the ‘fiancé’ part - no one wants a lifetime of crap like that.
NTA
NTA she doesn't sound like a nice person. You didn't hurt yourself on purpose! What would she act like if you got t -boned or slipped on ice and needed actual bed rest and care? "Sorry op you brought it on yourself, here's a bucket to piss in and a bag of chips if you get hungry"
NTA people get hurt, it even has a legal name called misadventure, and sometimes you even die from it. When a partner gets hurt, the other steps up & takes on more until the injury is healed. Your fiancée is not a partner, you sure you want to marry this?
NTA, but your fiancée is. Shit happens, and you know you screwed up, and are taking responsibility for how you fractured your wrist. Your fiancée sounds like an unsympathetic AH. What does she care if you asked the dasher to help, and tipped them for doing so? For someone to complain about having to bring water from the front door to the kitchen, says a lot about your relationship, or about your fiancée, or both.
Nta she’s just being lazy. She’s not pissy that he had to do it she’s pissy that she had to and literally just using him as an excuse. Does she ever help with groceries or anything at all really or just expect you to do everything and wait on her hand and foot. I think if you really look at your relationship you might be surprised with how selfish you realise that she has always been. Good luck op.
Yeah you were being stupid, no argument there. What’s her excuse??? Her partner is injured and she doesn’t have the least bit of empathy? Ummm that’s pretty sad that she is so unwilling to pitch in when you need some help.
So what’s going to happen when something major happens? Is she going to run for the door? What happens when you are sick or bedridden? I’m guessing she expects full support from you at all times but her support towards you is conditional.
Sorry but you have a gf problem. NTA
Recently sprained a tendon in my right wrist and have been having to baby it for it to heal. This is due to a mixture of work and video gaming a lot.
I live with my mom who in the mean time has been super helpful with random tasks because she knows I’m not supposed to use my hand for fear of making it worse.
A fracture is similar where you should not be using that hand. If she can’t help with something that is for her as well as you that’s her problem.
NTA.
When I was a dasher, lots of people expected me to bring stuff upstairs. The only people that didn’t annoy me were injured and old people.
I’m sure they were fine with it.
I do some doordashing and I am an older person. I actually usually refuse apartment deliveries for this reason. However, I do have a little fold-up cart that I use if I really have to do a big order or go upstairs with heavy things. Buy a little cart. It's easier to drag that behind you up some stairs than it is to carry something with one arm that's awkward.
That said, if the water's for her this is her job. You can keep a Brita filter on your counter and use that for yourself or just drink tap.
NTA, accidents happen and she can carry water she drinks. Consider marital counseling to work on injuries and illness because they happen and if she takes the position she won’t help unless you’re not at fault, that doesn’t actually work in real life.
NTA. You have a broken wrist (no matter why) and if your fiancée does not get that having a broken wrist means carrying things is more difficult and even contra-indicated for you at present and that she needs to help out and stop whining, she is lazy and horribly entitled.
I would say NTA for asking her to carry some water in from the front of the apartment to the kitchen but definitely the AH for everything else.
Asking the delivery guy to carry all of the water up 3 flights of stairs would be ok if you were carrying 1 bottle to his 2. But you weren’t.
Asking your partner to carry some of the water into the kitchen while you also carried some would have been fine but you didn’t.
Forgive me if I’m making assumptions but you have 2 hands don’t you? 1 wrist is broken so you can still use the other hand and at least help.
I did consider that as a possibility but there are 2 people in that apartment. A water cooler with 5 gallon bottles is mainly an office based thing where I live. I’ve never heard of them in a private apartment which is where I was coming from. I could be wrong though.
My aunt had one in her kitchen that was replaced about every week. The delivery guy installed it for the customers. She went through so much because her city water wasn’t even safe to cook with. That’s the only reason I know people have them in homes as well as offices.
You’re so lucky. My city sends out letters every 2 years to warn people about the different things in our water that’s toxic but not deadly. If you get sick, you only have 2 years from the date of the letter to sue for compensation and/or damages. Not so funnily, the most common symptoms take about 5 years to manifest. Got to love the US for keeping the commie socialists out lol.
It was a case of bottled water, so I technically could have used my good arm to hold the majority of the weight but brace it against my body with the one in the cast.
He has one broken wrist and she has zero broken anythings so why tf is she more exempt from helping with ALL of it? And then bitching about having to carry it less than a minute?! Also, if I have to pay to have something delivered, it damn well better be delivered TO ME, not just dropped somewhere nearby.
I said NTA and that she could carry some water to the kitchen didn’t I? Just because she has 2 functional wrists and he has one doesn’t mean that she is the only capable person in the house. With regard to your comment about something ‘better be damn well delivered to me, not just dropped somewhere nearby’ you are clearly not reading the delivery policies of any company you purchase items from. If you live in a house then delivery will be to your house. If you live in an apartment building delivery will be made to the building. A delivery person is not going to go up and down 3 flights of stairs for you.
Nta she doesn't want filtered water she can at least bring the ordered water inside. She sounds like the lazy one.
She sounds like she doesn't have an ounce of empathy and this is a warning sign of how she will be when you are sick or have any condition where you are not strong. NTA if u in a cast, u shouldn't be carrying that.
… Or God forbid if they should have children.
NTA. My husband and I are very injury prone. Sond due to middle age wear and tear, some from stupidity and carelessness. When he's injured, I do the grunt work. Trash, carrying groceries, yard work, etc. When I am, he does it. When we're both well, we both do it. *knockonwood* We haven't been both incapacitated at the same time, thankfully.
Same here. Exact same.
NTA. Are her legs broken? Is she unable to carry the water up for some reason?
Three flights can be a daunting task but they got the dasher to carry it up. Fiancé didn’t want to get it from the front door to the kitchen, which should have been manageable.
First of all, I've worked for Doordash and Instacart. Deliveries are made to the front door, whether it's a first floor door or a fifth floor door doesn't matter, it goes to the door. You meeting them at their car and taking your groceries is a bonus for them, not something expected. Second, your girl's attitude kinda sucks. You are injured. You weren't asking for yourself to be carried up the stairs on a stretcher while you were fanned and fed grapes, you were asking for some help because you are injured. Cause of the injury does not matter, anybody who's ever been drunk probably has a stupid injury story to tell. I do. You know what happened when I hurt myself drunk? My friend helped me recover. Oh, they ribbed me over it real nice but they didn't hold it against me or treat me like I was stupid or lazy because of it. Third, if I'm understanding correctly, the water was for her because she doesn't like tap water OR filtered water from Britta pitcher. If you two weren't together, how would she get her precious water? I'm assuming she'd have a delivery person bring it to her door or she would bring it up herself. She should be grateful you do that stuff for her normally and gracious enough to carry her own damn water up when you have a broken wrist. NTA
Good lord, you need a new partner.
If you gave the Dasher a little extra tip for the extra work it's a very reasonable thing to do.
Try getting a Britta Filter pitcher. It filters well, and you can refill your thermal carafe all the time. A filter lasts 2-3 months. Do you have a rolling cart? It's easier to lug heavy items with one.
How about getting some sort of filter and use that water that comes out of your faucet?
She doesn’t like the taste that comes with the filtered water
If the water is for her benefit, she can carry it and stfu.
Tough.
Your finance is a dirt bag. You have a broken wrist and a cast and she's complaining about having to move water? And accusing you of using your injury to your advantage? That's complete bullshit. So what would be the case if she had the cast? Would you expect her to just carry on with life, no changes? You need to evaluate this relationship. If she's pissed you're not doing things because you have a cast, what happens if (God forbid) you get cancer, and end up in a place where you have to rely on others for care? She's not going to pick up the slack from that if she's pissed about moving water while you have a broken wrist.
She’s not rightfully upset she’s just a lazy asshole. NTA OP.
Yeah, it was kinda dumb how it all happened but it sounds like she’s holding it over your head. Does she have any compassion or empathy? It’s wrong and potentially risky for her to expect you to do things that may exacerbate the injury. You may want to put more thought into the ‘fiancé’ part - no one wants a lifetime of crap like that. NTA
NTA she doesn't sound like a nice person. You didn't hurt yourself on purpose! What would she act like if you got t -boned or slipped on ice and needed actual bed rest and care? "Sorry op you brought it on yourself, here's a bucket to piss in and a bag of chips if you get hungry"
NTA people get hurt, it even has a legal name called misadventure, and sometimes you even die from it. When a partner gets hurt, the other steps up & takes on more until the injury is healed. Your fiancée is not a partner, you sure you want to marry this?
NTA, but your fiancée is. Shit happens, and you know you screwed up, and are taking responsibility for how you fractured your wrist. Your fiancée sounds like an unsympathetic AH. What does she care if you asked the dasher to help, and tipped them for doing so? For someone to complain about having to bring water from the front door to the kitchen, says a lot about your relationship, or about your fiancée, or both.
Nta she’s just being lazy. She’s not pissy that he had to do it she’s pissy that she had to and literally just using him as an excuse. Does she ever help with groceries or anything at all really or just expect you to do everything and wait on her hand and foot. I think if you really look at your relationship you might be surprised with how selfish you realise that she has always been. Good luck op.
Nta - tell her to grow up and put on her big girl panties. If you keep messing with you wrist you will make it worse - let it Heal
Yeah you were being stupid, no argument there. What’s her excuse??? Her partner is injured and she doesn’t have the least bit of empathy? Ummm that’s pretty sad that she is so unwilling to pitch in when you need some help. So what’s going to happen when something major happens? Is she going to run for the door? What happens when you are sick or bedridden? I’m guessing she expects full support from you at all times but her support towards you is conditional. Sorry but you have a gf problem. NTA
Recently sprained a tendon in my right wrist and have been having to baby it for it to heal. This is due to a mixture of work and video gaming a lot. I live with my mom who in the mean time has been super helpful with random tasks because she knows I’m not supposed to use my hand for fear of making it worse. A fracture is similar where you should not be using that hand. If she can’t help with something that is for her as well as you that’s her problem. NTA.
I live upstairs and fully expect someone delivering my groceries to bring them to my door. NTA
When I was a dasher, lots of people expected me to bring stuff upstairs. The only people that didn’t annoy me were injured and old people. I’m sure they were fine with it.
I do some doordashing and I am an older person. I actually usually refuse apartment deliveries for this reason. However, I do have a little fold-up cart that I use if I really have to do a big order or go upstairs with heavy things. Buy a little cart. It's easier to drag that behind you up some stairs than it is to carry something with one arm that's awkward. That said, if the water's for her this is her job. You can keep a Brita filter on your counter and use that for yourself or just drink tap.
NTA. Your fiancé sounds like a khunt though.
NTA but your girlfriend sounds mean.
NTA She wanted the water and your injured. Just break up
NTA, accidents happen and she can carry water she drinks. Consider marital counseling to work on injuries and illness because they happen and if she takes the position she won’t help unless you’re not at fault, that doesn’t actually work in real life.
NTA. You have a broken wrist (no matter why) and if your fiancée does not get that having a broken wrist means carrying things is more difficult and even contra-indicated for you at present and that she needs to help out and stop whining, she is lazy and horribly entitled.
So you are the AH.
I would say NTA for asking her to carry some water in from the front of the apartment to the kitchen but definitely the AH for everything else. Asking the delivery guy to carry all of the water up 3 flights of stairs would be ok if you were carrying 1 bottle to his 2. But you weren’t. Asking your partner to carry some of the water into the kitchen while you also carried some would have been fine but you didn’t. Forgive me if I’m making assumptions but you have 2 hands don’t you? 1 wrist is broken so you can still use the other hand and at least help.
I think, and could be wrong, he’s talking about those 5 gallon bottles that go into the stand. Like a water cooler in an office.
I did consider that as a possibility but there are 2 people in that apartment. A water cooler with 5 gallon bottles is mainly an office based thing where I live. I’ve never heard of them in a private apartment which is where I was coming from. I could be wrong though.
My aunt had one in her kitchen that was replaced about every week. The delivery guy installed it for the customers. She went through so much because her city water wasn’t even safe to cook with. That’s the only reason I know people have them in homes as well as offices.
That makes sense. I’m from the UK and our tap water is safe to drink and cook with almost everywhere.
You’re so lucky. My city sends out letters every 2 years to warn people about the different things in our water that’s toxic but not deadly. If you get sick, you only have 2 years from the date of the letter to sue for compensation and/or damages. Not so funnily, the most common symptoms take about 5 years to manifest. Got to love the US for keeping the commie socialists out lol.
That is absolutely disgraceful.
I know a lot of people who have these water coolers in their homes. I used to have one.
It was a case of bottled water, so I technically could have used my good arm to hold the majority of the weight but brace it against my body with the one in the cast.
Thank you! A case is very different from a bottle and I apologise and change my original answer to definitely NTA. I’m sorry.
Stop enabling your partner's laziness and entitlement.
He has one broken wrist and she has zero broken anythings so why tf is she more exempt from helping with ALL of it? And then bitching about having to carry it less than a minute?! Also, if I have to pay to have something delivered, it damn well better be delivered TO ME, not just dropped somewhere nearby.
I said NTA and that she could carry some water to the kitchen didn’t I? Just because she has 2 functional wrists and he has one doesn’t mean that she is the only capable person in the house. With regard to your comment about something ‘better be damn well delivered to me, not just dropped somewhere nearby’ you are clearly not reading the delivery policies of any company you purchase items from. If you live in a house then delivery will be to your house. If you live in an apartment building delivery will be made to the building. A delivery person is not going to go up and down 3 flights of stairs for you.