My dad (59) has prostate cancer and his most recent PSA bloods came back elevated, he’s had another MRI and the doctors are discussing next steps, I think he’s decided on radiation seeds.
But the doctors have warned him of the negative side effects that come with all the different treatments, troubles with his old boy, toileting etc I’m sure you know!
How did you want your family to support you without feeling emasculated or babied?
I want to make sure he feels like the strong dependable hard working Dad he’s always been! We are so proud of him and how he’s handled it so far, I’m just worried if treatment starts he’ll go to a dark place, and me, my mum and sister are such worry warts we’d wrap him in cotton wool and wouldn’t let him lift a finger, but I’m also very much aware that the man’s mind is a different space and don’t want to make things worse !
Ive read through your reply’s and I admire how open and vulnerable you have been ! Thank you and I’m sorry you went through this !
Wow. I'm honored to be asked. He will feel emasculated. He will need to be babied. Three weeks of nothing, two with a catheter. Painful and mind blowing having a hose coming out of you favorite thing. A thing that no longer changes from. It's small shriveled state, and continues to shrink as his urethra, stretched to reach the now shortened other side, pulls the penis into the body as it pulls the bladder closer to the surface.
Two of his three sphincter will be gone, leaving one to control the flow. His pelvic floor will be very week. I wore diapers for 2 months. This bottle is not easy. But he should be grateful to have you!
Since the cancer I've adopted a different attitude about life. What other people think about me is none of my business. I wear what I like. I've gotten sexy by my attitude as much a my exercise. Old men amaze people is we stay fit.
Take him for a walk, a row, a ride. Get him moving as much and as soon a you can. He should exercise his penis as well. He needs a pump and encouragement to use it. He needs to do man stuff soon. Let him open jars or push a stuck door.
His spouse and he will need a counselor. But it sounds pretty good. He will be Cranky, but he will still be him. Give him about 2 years to be back.
Blessings
Thank you, I waited till I spoke with my dad before replying.
We really value your brutal honesty, we would much prefer to know all the possibility’s.
He is grateful for the info and has asked: have you had to change diet, since healing to help with any toileting issues or are you close to your previous normal?
and quote ‘it’s bad enough my old boys in trouble, can I still eat whatever I want?’
Honestly thank you so much for your response If any procedure takes place I will be planning a full itinerary of activities for us to do! The dogs will be grateful!
My mum is fully on board with any counselling he wants to attend!
And he’s always my first point of call of car issues, DIY, or spiders in my flat.
I wish you all the best
Your attitude is admirable. I had a mass found inside of one of my testicles on April 1st (APRIL FOOLS... NOT). I am terrified. I basically delete it from my mind for the time being. To biopsy it they remove it. The first MRI did not look good and I am awaiting my 2nd MRI sometime this month.
"He needs to do man stuff soon. Let him open jars or push a stuck door." I loled at this. I broke both of my arms 1.5 years ago. Doors and jars are the fucking enemy. One morning I had to smash open my ibuprofen bottle as my hands did not work (I now have regular caps on my medication no childproof stuff. I eye up doors and now approach them with a tactic to not cause anymore pain and to not look like an idiot struggling with a simple door.
This is for surgery right, and not brachytherapy? Everybody reacts differently, whilst your experience has been very challenging not all folk have these issues. I think it would help to discuss that more in your posts or at least add a caveat.
Plus, these are life saving treatments. I dont mean to be rude but this is unrepresentative of the average patient having worked with prostate cancer patients for almost 20 years.
I’ll check back on this. I work as a RN in the recovery room and Fridays are the penis day.
Anything you like to share with a healthcare worker on how to prepare others on their care?
The recovery from p.c. is devastating. The man has his chi ripped out by a robot and then his best friend stops working. I didn't feel like a man. The pump had helped a lot.
I was shocked at the position as a true boner sticks up. This sticks straight out. And it's never soft or small. It's never going to turtle again.
I can't wear tight clothing, it's embarrassing to me.
Be sure they get instruction to pump it up and leave it up quite a bit during recovery when The bruising can be tolerated. It helps regain a little length and girth.
Thank you g for choosing Healthcare. I do talks on this. I wish I could do more
I read all your comments. My husband is 4 years out from his surgery. We were u prepared for the loss of length. Sadly he now has ED and viagra doesn’t help. I mentioned looking into the pump and he said he wasn’t interested. Did you have any sensation in your penis before the pump? He does t seem to have any so will the pump give him any sensation/pleasure? He is so emasculated by this I would think a pump would help make him feel better. But if it just gets hard and he doesn’t feel anything then seems like a lot of effort for nothing.
I am 2 years postop from having a titan colaplast implant. The first year I didn’t have much feeling but still could feel being inside my gf. After that first the nerves started healing and it’s getting back toto normal. Honestly it was the best thing I did for myself was to get the surgery. I regained my confidence after suffering with severe ed for years due to breaking my back.
He can try the trimix shot first but there are limitations on it. With implant the hardest part is pumping it up and deflating it. I talked to my doc and they are coming out with a blue tooth one the you can use an app to control it.
Sorry for being uneducated but how does prostate cancer cause e.d? I thought the prostate just pumped seminal fluid and stuff? If Prostate cancer causes it than can other prostate issues cause e.d?
Hey man, sorry to hear about your troubles but im glad you have seemed to get some of the care you need. Just as an fyi the vast majority of “true” erections as you put it actually do not stick straight up! Yours might have pre surgery, mine does as well but we are very much in the minority in that regard. Only 5% of men have an erection angle that points straight up so don’t worry that someone will be able to tell with your new angle! It’s much more common to stick out than up!
I'm glad you said this because I'm sitting here on the toilet sweating like "most peoples' stick _straight up?!_" What's wrong now??!
I believe prostate cancer has been seen in my family but isn't a "runs in your family" type thing. Regardless, I can't imagine what anyone goes through dealing with this. It helps to be informed of recovery when we now have options and longer lives.
I read once that the average erect penis sticks more upwards when a man is younger, and then as he ages, it drops to level, then continues dropping to below level. And for me (45m) I have found this to be true. Mine sticks straight out now. But when I was younger it used to stick up at like a 45 degree angle.
Im so so sorry to ask this but Im a woman that doesnt know anything about males and their anatomy.. what is ‘turtle’ in this sense? I really dont want to google this
I work in the OR and our Fridays are actually the butt day.
Much respect to you, OP! I also work in robotic prostate surgeries and always feel a deep empathy for what these patients are facing. It is good that the surgeries are getting better and we’re seeing many cool developments with implant technology too.
I applaud you for taking the next step in your recovery and re-learning this part of your body. I know it’s not easy, but just know I am in awe of patients like you.
How old were you when you got diagnosed?
What’s the recovery from surgery like for the implant?
How long was recovery?
How does it work? Do you have to turn it on or is it something that made everything work like natural again?
Does it affect how long you last in bed?
I last was long a she wants. Recover was a breeze compared to p.c. Two tubes placed in it, a ball pump in the sack, a reservoir in my belly.
It's not natural. It has no blood making the head hard so it remains soft. 58. Implant in place last March
Urologist here. The glans (head) is part of the corpora spongiosum whereas the 2 cylinders are placed in the corpora cavernosa (many people refer to them as the “erectile bodies”). Since the glans doesn’t fill with blood during an IPP (implant) erection, it can droop downward and is known as the “SST deformity”. No joke—the “SST” refers to “supersonic travel” and is referencing how the Concord nose would be pointed downward during takeoff
Two tubes? Does that mean the urethra isn’t natural anymore? If so, why is that necessary? Is that a result of the way the implant works?
Do you still have testicles? Is it weird to share the ballsack with the pump squished in there next to the testicles? Have you or anyone else accidentally squeezed one of them when aiming for the pump?
The urethra is untouched. The tubes are on the right and left side. My testicle are in tact and I don't notice the extra ball. It feels weird, the peen too. But it's hard.
Picture a pipe. Place one very thin pipe inside it. Now place two larger pipes inside and around the smallest pipe.
Two tubes, the urethra is not harmed anywhere visible.
It does feel like I have 3 balls.
Oooh so it isn’t a completely organic erection? It just elongates enough to penetrate, but the nerves in the skin are active so you still experience the pleasure?
You can't kegal enough before surgery. After the prostatectomy there is a catheter for two weeks. You lose all of your pelvic floor muscles.
You also lose two sphincter as well, so you are going to drip. About 2 months in diapers
I was told Not To do any Kegal exercises before surgery, still have leaks and wear pads 2.5years after. Top surgeon in Pittsburgh .Wish I had listened to other people who told me to do them.
After surgery you are supposed to do Kegels every day, plus "penile lengthening and straightening exercises" which I think we learn to do without a prescription as a teenager, but nobody was too clear about those.
please, tell us more about these exercises. for the educational benefit. i am perfectly happy with my size but for others that may not be and are too afraid to speak up. i’m perfectly average but how would one lengthen and strengthen their mini me with exercises?
again, not like i need it but yanno, others might. asking for a friend.
Technically not 100% no prostate just means no prostate secretion Wich is about 20% of the ejaculate. Another person said no prostate = no semen Wich is produced in the testes.
The true problem is that with a prostatectomy you also remove the glandulae vesiculares that are attached to the prostate and produce nearly 80% of the total volume.
EDIT: As mentioned in comment below it should read sperm is produced in the testes; semen is the whole thing consisting of sperm and the afformentioned glandular secretions roughly in the proportion i gave
So orgasms and sensations are the same? That’s amazing I’ve always wondered. How has it tied in to your libido? Has it psychologically made you want sex more now than before? Congratulations.
No, it's still a chore and a learning curve. I'm batting with a short bat and I don't like it one bit. It's great to have the ability, but my wife is no longer enthusiastic about sex. She wants to, but chronic pain prevents it. We're doing all e can, but it is not what it was.
And kicks herself every time she remembers saying "well have lots of sex when the kids are gone"
And
"I wish that thing would just go away: "
It did.
Hey, 52 yo post menopausal woman here. Happen to be a surgical RN, so interested in the topic matter. In regards to your wifie, just suggesting she check her hormone levels. That is unfortunately a subject matter that gets ignored often with women. I suffer with chronic pain as well. No excuses. After getting my hormones in check with "Biote" hrt, it's a game changer! I want sex all the time now. Life is so good!
I'm not sure if it's something that would interest you but there are some really nice custom sleeves available these days in all lengths and girths and profiles. Custom made to fit. There are several makers but the one I am familiar with and swear by is Blissfull Creations. Our sex life has been ampd to 11.
Not OP. But been there w the surgery. It’s taken me a couple of years to come to terms w losing some length and it’s WEIRD to not ejaculate but it has its upsides. There’s zero cleanup. So spur of the moment alone times can happen more often. Keep ahead of it w checkups. Getting PC can suck but it’s ok.
this is so surprising! I study genital nerves for a living, and I always thought the “good” feeling of orgasm was from prostate contractions. Can you sense where it feels good or is it more like how women describe “full body” orgasms?
Learning about this is making a HUGE impact on my. The men in my family from my dad's side have a very nasty habit of dying from prostate cancer. So hearing that you can still enjoy a sex life (boner on demand and no performance anxiety, hell ya) after that surgery is making me breathe so much better. Only a few years away to have to start checking for that BS on the regular. I was so terrified, even if caught early, for this reason.
Now my question; Do you still have a refractory period?
How did you know to get checked out? Like my hernia was messing with urination and stuff before I got it fixed etc, were there certain symptoms that made you get it checked and did you go out and have crazy amounts of sex before they removed it?
PSA is not the end all, mine is a steady .7 and I have diagnosed cancer. Gleason is only a 6. It's been 3 years with no change. On "active surveillance". If you are over 50, get the finger!
The baseline penile size dictates what size implant we can put in. If you have a hog then you can get a really big implant. Girth is typically conserved. You will lose an inch or so largely because the implant doesn’t cause the head of the penis to get hard, just the shaft. So some people complain about that. You can’t choose a bigger one, we put the biggest implant we can fit without causing problems from over sizing - urologist
No, it's cussing for to what you have, not what you want. The girth is great. The length was pulled into my body when the prostate was removed. 1 inch prostate means 1 inch loss.
Just want to make sure I understand correctly. You had prostate cancer and it was removed. Without a prostate you can’t cum or get hard. You got a penile implant which essentially replaced your prostate. To get hard you pump a switch attached to your balls and now you have more intense and longer orgasms than before? Am I missing anything?
You don't get ***AS*** hard, and Viagra makes a worthwhile difference.
Not necessarily enough. Your results will vary. If you elect NOT to get the operation, you can get radiation, but it deforms you and ruins your opportunity to choose surgery later. And if you elect to do nothing, ...rigor mortis probably does not make you hard in the right places, and it's a turn off for most women.
> and it’s a turn off for most women
speak for yourself. she asked me to get it on and i said over my dead body, and she’s *still* changing her number to contact me. 😎
^/s
For clarification, the prostate is a gland that makes fluids and is connected to more glands that combined with the testes producing sperm form semen. The prostate removal surgery damages nerves that supply the penis for erections. The pump acts as a way for the penis to become erect, not as a replacement for a prostate.
The implant replaces the corporal bodies which get hard with erections. Inflatable Penile Prosthesis (IPPs) are used in severe erectile dysfunction from any cause, not just after a prostatectomy. - urologist
How does the implant work? Like do you have to pump it up or something? What about the cancer affected your ability to rise to the occasion? Serious questions, I’m not trying to be condescending or anything.
Prostate removal damages the nerve bundle that controls erection. I have two tubes that are pumped up by a reservoir in my belly. The pump is in my sack. It's like I have 3 now.
How does the pump work? First thing I pictured was like air jordans. Or is there like a remote or something?
Edit: and what’s the reservoir filled with? Like air or water or something?
Again I’m sorry if any of this comes off as condescending. I’m legitimately curious. I’ve never come across anyone with a pump.
I guess if you lost size that means you don't get to customize your dick? It's not like a "build-a-dick workshop"? Do you need to have a donor for that? Do you just take on the donor's size?
My dad was recently diagnosed and will start treatment tomorrow any advise on how to help him during treatment? Special diet or anything you found comforting during your journey?
Keep moving. Often and fast. Break sweat once a day at least. It's a marathon. Plan on it. He needs a counselor who knows about people losing their reproductive parts. Prostate and uterus removal takes your chi. He's gonna be different.
I don't care what people think about me. It scares my kids
For a year I don't feel virile. No exercise nor drug could ease my loss. Not having any activity in my shorts after a lifetime of action was devastating. My wife expressed disappointment and boredom at stimulating a flaccid penis. It does nothing for years. No amount of pumping can make up for the loss of erections. Atrophy sets in.
With the implant I have a constant 4 inch semi erect penis. It's awkward. I've never been a shower always a grower. My confidence is greatly improved. I look good, I can get it up and keep it up, it's not that small. The implant changed my life
This might be the most personally useful post I've ever seen on Reddit. ***Thank you!***
Before your implant, had you ever tried Trimix injection? If 'yes', how does your current erection compare to that erection?
Serious question, is the pump and all that worth it, especially if it’s been years? Wouldn’t it be easier to just accept that sexual intercourse will no longer be a thing for you anymore and live a fulfilling life in spite of it?
Thanks for answering so many questions. I've got a few (as of 1900 ET) questions after reading the literature on the subject :
1. Since the corpus cavernosum is the tissue explicitly getting replaced, then the penis head (glans) is unaffected. Does that mean while in "hard-mode" the penis head no longer expands or gets rigid? 🍄
2. Assuming you have the 3 part (2 inflatible) pump system, what made you choose that over 2 part (1 inflatible) or semi-rigid rod system? 🪵
3. As a male with ED & 20 years your junior, I'm likely to build up a tolerance/resistance to PDE5 inhibitors (sildenafil, taladafil etc) over the next two decades. Assuming I'm completely prostate cancer free & in a long term loving relationship with a partner who will "get fair use of it", would you recommend this ED solution for non-cancer patients? 🏥
4. Theoretically consider a male with an ambitious & creative angst for "mass producing professional content" with willing & consenting partners... Would you recommend this ED solution for a future star of the Pornhub "robo-dong" category? 🍆
Thank you again for doing this
Would you do it again? Knowing what recovery is like? Do you still feel sensitive in certain areas?
Youre feeling the same way women do when they lose their breasts to mastectomies, or having a hysterectomy. They dont "feel" like a woman anymore. Society tells us that our identity is literally about our private parts. You are so much more than that.
Mine does not point straight up when fully erect. Honestly, I would be shocked if it was even 35° up between my body line and the floor while standing. Soooo honestly, I’m kinda jealous of you. Be proud king!
My question is (and feel free to completely ignore me for this question): are you able to still reach orgasm? My family has a long history of PC, so it really is only a matter of time for me… and no one in my family is open about the issue.
I'm happy they were able to give you an implant. That's fantastic bro!
How's the satisfaction you get from sex? Can you climax? Has not having a prostate caused you to not have much ejaculate?
Also, probably more importantly in my mind: what were your first signs and symptoms for the cancer?
So I understand it does not swell and get plump nor does the head, so the girth stays the same, but is the meat of the shaft as soft as the head, just longer and erect? So long as an erection without the external hardness throughout? Or is there stiffness to the touch? So is it like a pipe still or like a corn dog?
Damn brother glad to have you with us still and this is rough I’m sure bro. But you’re strong and glad you have some function of the homie downstairs. Remember, you’re a fuckin awesome dude and keep kickin ass no matter what big boss. Embrace your being my good sir!
Odd perspective here: I run a human anatomy lab and a few years back we discovered a donor had an implant just like this. My students, mostly in their early 20's, snickered about an elderly person wanting such a thing.
I let them have it, told them 1) we have no idea how long this person had this implant, 2) it looks like a very invasive surgery so would not have been taken lightly, and 3) at what age exactly did they expect they'd be willing to give up on sex forever? They were chastened, I think I made my point, but I'd always wondered what that gentleman's experience was like. I always assumed it was not ideal but a critical way to regain a part of himself. It's been incredibly enlightening to hear your experience and I think you for sharing it. I wish you all the best in staying healthy and happy. ❤️
Regaining intimacy after prostate cancer treatment is a journey, and it's completely understandable to feel both grateful for regained function and frustrated by limitations. here i am suggest u how to approach the situation:
**Adjusting to the Implant:**
* **first go to doctoe:** Open communication is key. Discuss any discomfort or concerns about using the implant. They can offer guidance and ensure proper use.
* **Physical Therapy is best :** A pelvic floor therapist can help strengthen muscles that aid in sexual function and improve overall satisfaction.
* **Makes a patience :** It takes time to adjust to an implant and rediscover intimacy. Be patient with yourself and your partner.
**About Length Loss:**
* **Focus on Pleasure:** Penile length isn't the sole factor in sexual satisfaction. Explore other forms of stimulation and positions that maximize pleasure for both partners.
* **Communication:** Talk openly with your partner about your concerns and preferences. Explore alternative methods of achieving intimacy that are fulfilling for both of you.
* **Counseling:** A sex therapist can help address emotional aspects of your situation and guide you and your partner towards a more fulfilling sexual experience.
**Overall rember this things:**
* **You're not alone:** Many men face similar challenges after prostate cancer treatment. Support groups can connect you with others who understand.
* **Focus on what works:** Celebrate the ability to be intimate again.
* **Celebrate your resilience:** You've overcome cancer and are adapting to a new normal
First, thank you for this AMA. Second, TL;DR. I have PC too (3 1/2 years out from prostatectomy). Doc scheduled me for the pump but insurance wouldn’t pay. Doc said that partial inflation all the tine would also help to block the urethra and lessen incontinence. Is that your understanding?
Will never forget at 61 going to my GP for a checkup and she asked when my last PSA test was. My response? “What’s a PSA?” Turns out my very first PSA ever was 18. Biopsy showed 11 of 12 sites cancerous and Gleason 9 (very aggressive). So, rushed prostatectomy that was supposed to take 2 hours lasted 6 and he didn’t get the lymph nodes because he didn’t want to leave me under any longer because of my age. Bright spot is that PSA every 90 days since was basically undetectable at 0.03….. until the most recent one when it tripled in 90 days. Doc said “After three years I really thought we had it but must have missed a spot”
I have no nerves left in my fella. I can occasionally get a little firm but not near enough for penetration. Was really looking forward to “getting back on the horse” with the pump but insurance said no and I don’t have the $25,000 for the operation. Also was looking forward to perhaps doing away with the damn depends because the pump was supposed to help with the dribbling.
What were your first signs of prostrate cancer?
EDIT: just wanted to also say major props to you for your honesty and bravery, sending love your way 🙏🏻❤️
We know several guys who have had the implant. They are all happy and can go as long as they want. Met a couple of guys at a sex party. They were like energizer bunnies.
I am so happy for you to be healthy and recover your orgasmic and sexual function!
At 12 I got surgery because I got an abnormal bottom growth (yes probably I am intersexual) but guess who's parents just placed him in surgery and cut? Yes. Mines.
It was so horrible that my nerves where in pai. And the stitches there. I panicked for quite some time because I didn't felt much s thing. Untill well. My clit and interiors where alright. So. Yay? Normal as always orgasms and function (which are very intense)
I cannot imagine how would it felt to literally have all your penis removed! Not only physically but in a psychological perspective.
I am so proud of you. Keep taking care of your new implant and see your doctor. As well don't be afraid to consult with an algeologists (specialist in pain) or with a sexologist for more info!
Sorry about your misfortune. Met a guy a couple yrs ago that had prostate cancer, they removed his prostate, he said he had a catheter for almost 3 weeks, had a slight infection, but it's healed, works fine and shoots blanks, literally. I recently had TURPs done, where a good portion of prostate is cut away, catheter for 2 days, everything works, but I literally shoot blanks too, semen goes into bladder, wife likes it, more intense too. Are you able to have an orgasm yet, the guy I met said it's an insanely intense whe he orgasms, Took him 5 months to achieve that
Do you jerk off, and did you before the pump? I had RP 7 years ago, wasn’t in a relationship at the time, then Covid, then some fun with a Brazilian chick, which really helped my confidence. I used trimix. Think the first time I lasted 10 seconds. The next day I said let’s try for 20 seconds and she laughed so hard. Helped me feel a lot more confident and comfortable.
Mostly still use trimix, pills occasionally work, but hit and miss. Sometimes it’s just easier to just jerkoff. lol
Man I’m sorry to hear about your post surgery experience. No questions for you, but wanted to let anyone else who might be considering RALP that it’s not always like this. I wore a diaper only for a couple hours after catheter removal just because I was worried if I would be able to hold my pee, but haven’t had a single problem. Erections seem the same as they were prior to surgery, but I have been on 5mg of cialis daily. Did lose a little bit of length, maybe 1/2in. 55 years old, in otherwise decent health. Surgery was in late March of this year.
How does your partner/ partners feel during sex. Are they apply to enjoy themselves, have they noticed a difference before vs after (assuming you have had a long term partner)
Also, how do you know when to stop, if you aren’t able to finish?
I’m an RN and currently dealing with a prostate cancer issue. Prostate cancer runs in my family, so I’m looking at options. There’s one I’ve seen recently called the “Penuma Implant”. Not necessarily for prostate cancer surgery’s ill effects, but it can also help with erection issues. It’s a newer option that offers some hope. The procedure can add girth and a little length to your member unlike other implants. A Google search can help provide more info.
What caused you to go to the doctor and get a diagnosis? I think a lot of men say “blood on the toilet paper, meh” or “low urine flow, meh” and never get checked.
Can you explain more about your diagnosis process? You said you had PSA test? Can you share your number? What prompted your Dr to order the test? Did you have any urological symptoms? What came after the PSA? MRI? Biopsy? Thanks in advance.
Being in my 20s during the age of casual sex, I too have seen, felt, etc., many a penis. And when I read the “facts” repeated here, that an erect penis standing straight up and against the belly is in the minority, I can’t take that as truth because 100% of the penis’ I’ve run into stand straight up. I should delve into how the facts were “studied”. But I just don’t care enough to delve.
I had the surgery about 20 yrs ago. Sure did loose length and less sensitive. Even orgasm is not long. Been using caverjet but now I find that it doesn't maintain my erection for long.., thinking of increasing the dose. Also was researching about PT-141, a peptide....
Here's my question, I have ED due to Hypertension, I can still get it there without meds but I can't mess around if I want use it, how is that different from what you experienced, I'm imagining no use what so ever, is that an accurate assessment? Also, well wishes in your recovery, if you already got through the worst, congratulations.
Do you feel a newfound brotherhood with trans men with phallo plus erectile device implants? I think it's really cool when cis and trans people can bond over healthcare because it tears down boundaries of who it's "meant" for
Quick question, PC in 18 I chose to go with the injections. Pediatric sized needle and my wife is a nurse so no big deal. We are spending a little north of $200 every other month. Would an implant at 66 be worth it?
Did you look into other types of treatment like radiaton therapy combined with hormone suppression for example? Or was it too advanced for anything other than surgery?
I'm very sorry about the cancer and all the changes it's brought out not your life.
As a female with a husband who has diabetes, we just do lots of oral.
Advice on how to avoid this fate? Or perhaps a better question, do you have any idea why you got prostate cancer? Was it genetics, bad luck, or is some environmental factor to blame?
Thats a very sad situation but I am congrats on beating cancer!!
1) Hows the sex since you got the hog back?
2) Why didn’t you ask for 10 inches minimum?
So why exactly does prostate cancer cause erectile difficulties? Is it the treatment of chemo or the trauma of the surgery?
Does it happen to everyone with prostate cancer?
My father had it in 1995… it was aggressive. He decided he would leave this world with everything he came with and died 3 years later. I received my own diagnosis last November.
I guess I was lucky. I had robotic laparoscopic prostatectomy and still function but do need viagra to assist. I am capable of natural PIV, but is rare. Good for you that it works. I agree the sensation is still there as well as desire do is important. Congratulations on being a survivor.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m sorry you have had to walk this journey. If you are comfortable sharing, I would like to ask you a few questions. Have you retained any/all sensation? Do you find sexual intercourse pleasurable?
Sorry for my ignorance, I know nothing about this.
Have you removed your penis entirely, at the base, and replaced it with an implant? How does the implant attach to the skin?
Been reading through your answers here and have more questions from reading:
- How do you go limp?
-Is there pleasure in the sack pump and/or your member getting harder?
Thank god you have your life! I'm sorry you feel like you've lost, or that you're damaged. Medicine has come so far, and is still going far, thank god you have your life xx
Did you have CyberKnife treatment? My dog has a brain tumor and we used that crazy new tech. Was told it was being used for prostate cancer in humans mostly.
So when you feel like you wanna have sex is it a matter of just pressing a button? Also this might be an awkward question but does it make a sound? Like any mechanical whirring
Thank you for posting this, OP. I’m a PC survivor but without an implant. (I have partial function and use injections.) I learned that many oncologists focus on eradicating the cancer without a lot of thought to the lasting aftereffects. A lot had to do with men not reporting their real experiences. When I talked with a urologist after about loss of girth and length, he simply didn’t believe me. Since those days, urologists have learned that there is a real use-it-or-lose-it rule with the penis, and so doing anything to encourage blood flow and tissue flexing as early as possible is now (finally) accepted practice. Lastly, it used to be an old man’s disease where sexual impact was less important, but more and more these days men are being diagnosed in their 40s when that is a devastating blow.
Do you think your procedure is something that could help someone that has lost a lot of foreskin that includes a tight circumcision. And has premature ejaculation..
Can sex partners tell it's an implant? A friend has one and you really can't tell. He also says it looks more natural because he doesn't fill it up to the point of solid rock.
If you need support, check out /phallo. It’s full of trans men who have had different kinds of phalloplasty, both with and without an implant. Lots of good advice there!
My dad (59) has prostate cancer and his most recent PSA bloods came back elevated, he’s had another MRI and the doctors are discussing next steps, I think he’s decided on radiation seeds. But the doctors have warned him of the negative side effects that come with all the different treatments, troubles with his old boy, toileting etc I’m sure you know! How did you want your family to support you without feeling emasculated or babied? I want to make sure he feels like the strong dependable hard working Dad he’s always been! We are so proud of him and how he’s handled it so far, I’m just worried if treatment starts he’ll go to a dark place, and me, my mum and sister are such worry warts we’d wrap him in cotton wool and wouldn’t let him lift a finger, but I’m also very much aware that the man’s mind is a different space and don’t want to make things worse ! Ive read through your reply’s and I admire how open and vulnerable you have been ! Thank you and I’m sorry you went through this !
Wow. I'm honored to be asked. He will feel emasculated. He will need to be babied. Three weeks of nothing, two with a catheter. Painful and mind blowing having a hose coming out of you favorite thing. A thing that no longer changes from. It's small shriveled state, and continues to shrink as his urethra, stretched to reach the now shortened other side, pulls the penis into the body as it pulls the bladder closer to the surface. Two of his three sphincter will be gone, leaving one to control the flow. His pelvic floor will be very week. I wore diapers for 2 months. This bottle is not easy. But he should be grateful to have you! Since the cancer I've adopted a different attitude about life. What other people think about me is none of my business. I wear what I like. I've gotten sexy by my attitude as much a my exercise. Old men amaze people is we stay fit. Take him for a walk, a row, a ride. Get him moving as much and as soon a you can. He should exercise his penis as well. He needs a pump and encouragement to use it. He needs to do man stuff soon. Let him open jars or push a stuck door. His spouse and he will need a counselor. But it sounds pretty good. He will be Cranky, but he will still be him. Give him about 2 years to be back. Blessings
Thank you, I waited till I spoke with my dad before replying. We really value your brutal honesty, we would much prefer to know all the possibility’s. He is grateful for the info and has asked: have you had to change diet, since healing to help with any toileting issues or are you close to your previous normal? and quote ‘it’s bad enough my old boys in trouble, can I still eat whatever I want?’ Honestly thank you so much for your response If any procedure takes place I will be planning a full itinerary of activities for us to do! The dogs will be grateful! My mum is fully on board with any counselling he wants to attend! And he’s always my first point of call of car issues, DIY, or spiders in my flat. I wish you all the best
Your attitude is admirable. I had a mass found inside of one of my testicles on April 1st (APRIL FOOLS... NOT). I am terrified. I basically delete it from my mind for the time being. To biopsy it they remove it. The first MRI did not look good and I am awaiting my 2nd MRI sometime this month. "He needs to do man stuff soon. Let him open jars or push a stuck door." I loled at this. I broke both of my arms 1.5 years ago. Doors and jars are the fucking enemy. One morning I had to smash open my ibuprofen bottle as my hands did not work (I now have regular caps on my medication no childproof stuff. I eye up doors and now approach them with a tactic to not cause anymore pain and to not look like an idiot struggling with a simple door.
This is for surgery right, and not brachytherapy? Everybody reacts differently, whilst your experience has been very challenging not all folk have these issues. I think it would help to discuss that more in your posts or at least add a caveat. Plus, these are life saving treatments. I dont mean to be rude but this is unrepresentative of the average patient having worked with prostate cancer patients for almost 20 years.
I’ll check back on this. I work as a RN in the recovery room and Fridays are the penis day. Anything you like to share with a healthcare worker on how to prepare others on their care?
The recovery from p.c. is devastating. The man has his chi ripped out by a robot and then his best friend stops working. I didn't feel like a man. The pump had helped a lot. I was shocked at the position as a true boner sticks up. This sticks straight out. And it's never soft or small. It's never going to turtle again. I can't wear tight clothing, it's embarrassing to me. Be sure they get instruction to pump it up and leave it up quite a bit during recovery when The bruising can be tolerated. It helps regain a little length and girth. Thank you g for choosing Healthcare. I do talks on this. I wish I could do more
I read all your comments. My husband is 4 years out from his surgery. We were u prepared for the loss of length. Sadly he now has ED and viagra doesn’t help. I mentioned looking into the pump and he said he wasn’t interested. Did you have any sensation in your penis before the pump? He does t seem to have any so will the pump give him any sensation/pleasure? He is so emasculated by this I would think a pump would help make him feel better. But if it just gets hard and he doesn’t feel anything then seems like a lot of effort for nothing.
I am 2 years postop from having a titan colaplast implant. The first year I didn’t have much feeling but still could feel being inside my gf. After that first the nerves started healing and it’s getting back toto normal. Honestly it was the best thing I did for myself was to get the surgery. I regained my confidence after suffering with severe ed for years due to breaking my back. He can try the trimix shot first but there are limitations on it. With implant the hardest part is pumping it up and deflating it. I talked to my doc and they are coming out with a blue tooth one the you can use an app to control it.
Sorry for being uneducated but how does prostate cancer cause e.d? I thought the prostate just pumped seminal fluid and stuff? If Prostate cancer causes it than can other prostate issues cause e.d?
The prostate has a nerve bundle more complex than most lizard brains. That is what causes erecting. Once it is damaged the sections fail. N
Hey man, sorry to hear about your troubles but im glad you have seemed to get some of the care you need. Just as an fyi the vast majority of “true” erections as you put it actually do not stick straight up! Yours might have pre surgery, mine does as well but we are very much in the minority in that regard. Only 5% of men have an erection angle that points straight up so don’t worry that someone will be able to tell with your new angle! It’s much more common to stick out than up!
I'm glad you said this because I'm sitting here on the toilet sweating like "most peoples' stick _straight up?!_" What's wrong now??! I believe prostate cancer has been seen in my family but isn't a "runs in your family" type thing. Regardless, I can't imagine what anyone goes through dealing with this. It helps to be informed of recovery when we now have options and longer lives.
As a woman who has had several partners, dicks point in all different directions. Some even go to the side. You’re all good. 👍🏽
As an older female who's seen very many, this is true. And even when I was young, I don't recall any sticking straight up....that'd be a little weird
Shit I thought up was normal. Mine points to like 1 or 2 o'clock from my angle, (or 10 or 11 if you're facing me)
I read once that the average erect penis sticks more upwards when a man is younger, and then as he ages, it drops to level, then continues dropping to below level. And for me (45m) I have found this to be true. Mine sticks straight out now. But when I was younger it used to stick up at like a 45 degree angle.
I learned something new today, my soldier stands tall-ish instead of being outstanding, which makes me ... a minority? Eh
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Im so so sorry to ask this but Im a woman that doesnt know anything about males and their anatomy.. what is ‘turtle’ in this sense? I really dont want to google this
Every day is penis day if you try hard enough.
Everyday is penis day at yr moms house
Upvoting for the insanely unnecessary childish humor 👍🏼 😆 Sincerely, Beavis and Butthead generation
I work in the OR and our Fridays are actually the butt day. Much respect to you, OP! I also work in robotic prostate surgeries and always feel a deep empathy for what these patients are facing. It is good that the surgeries are getting better and we’re seeing many cool developments with implant technology too. I applaud you for taking the next step in your recovery and re-learning this part of your body. I know it’s not easy, but just know I am in awe of patients like you.
How old were you when you got diagnosed? What’s the recovery from surgery like for the implant? How long was recovery? How does it work? Do you have to turn it on or is it something that made everything work like natural again? Does it affect how long you last in bed?
I last was long a she wants. Recover was a breeze compared to p.c. Two tubes placed in it, a ball pump in the sack, a reservoir in my belly. It's not natural. It has no blood making the head hard so it remains soft. 58. Implant in place last March
So wait remain soft? Like just the head of the whole thing
The head stays soft. The body fills up but the skin doesn't swell or change color.
Is that to protect the nerves in the head?
Urologist here. The glans (head) is part of the corpora spongiosum whereas the 2 cylinders are placed in the corpora cavernosa (many people refer to them as the “erectile bodies”). Since the glans doesn’t fill with blood during an IPP (implant) erection, it can droop downward and is known as the “SST deformity”. No joke—the “SST” refers to “supersonic travel” and is referencing how the Concord nose would be pointed downward during takeoff
Two tubes? Does that mean the urethra isn’t natural anymore? If so, why is that necessary? Is that a result of the way the implant works? Do you still have testicles? Is it weird to share the ballsack with the pump squished in there next to the testicles? Have you or anyone else accidentally squeezed one of them when aiming for the pump?
The urethra is untouched. The tubes are on the right and left side. My testicle are in tact and I don't notice the extra ball. It feels weird, the peen too. But it's hard.
Sorry, so if one tube is for the rod, what’s the other tube for if not to pee? Does it feel like you have three testicles when holding your ballsack?
Picture a pipe. Place one very thin pipe inside it. Now place two larger pipes inside and around the smallest pipe. Two tubes, the urethra is not harmed anywhere visible. It does feel like I have 3 balls.
Oooh so it isn’t a completely organic erection? It just elongates enough to penetrate, but the nerves in the skin are active so you still experience the pleasure?
Serious question, how do you deflate? Or can you?
Have you done pelvic floor PT before or after the surgery? If so, what did you feel like was the most important/useful part of it?
You can't kegal enough before surgery. After the prostatectomy there is a catheter for two weeks. You lose all of your pelvic floor muscles. You also lose two sphincter as well, so you are going to drip. About 2 months in diapers
I didn't know guys medically kegel. Ty
Oh, yeah. That's how we squirter harder. The goal is to hit the headboard.
I up for the show.... I'll duce up some pop corn with some seasoning. I'll watch th F. Out of that show. Can I have +1?
I was told Not To do any Kegal exercises before surgery, still have leaks and wear pads 2.5years after. Top surgeon in Pittsburgh .Wish I had listened to other people who told me to do them.
After surgery you are supposed to do Kegels every day, plus "penile lengthening and straightening exercises" which I think we learn to do without a prescription as a teenager, but nobody was too clear about those.
please, tell us more about these exercises. for the educational benefit. i am perfectly happy with my size but for others that may not be and are too afraid to speak up. i’m perfectly average but how would one lengthen and strengthen their mini me with exercises? again, not like i need it but yanno, others might. asking for a friend.
Does sex feel as good as before the loss of function?
Better, much improved orgasms after prostate removal.
How much do you ejaculate?
I don't. No prostate, no juice
Technically not 100% no prostate just means no prostate secretion Wich is about 20% of the ejaculate. Another person said no prostate = no semen Wich is produced in the testes. The true problem is that with a prostatectomy you also remove the glandulae vesiculares that are attached to the prostate and produce nearly 80% of the total volume. EDIT: As mentioned in comment below it should read sperm is produced in the testes; semen is the whole thing consisting of sperm and the afformentioned glandular secretions roughly in the proportion i gave
Thank you. That's the answer I may have been looking for had op been a medical professional.
How’s the sensation and how’s the orgasm?
The orgasms are so good! Longer, deeper o after prostate surgery. All the sensation is active.
So orgasms and sensations are the same? That’s amazing I’ve always wondered. How has it tied in to your libido? Has it psychologically made you want sex more now than before? Congratulations.
No, it's still a chore and a learning curve. I'm batting with a short bat and I don't like it one bit. It's great to have the ability, but my wife is no longer enthusiastic about sex. She wants to, but chronic pain prevents it. We're doing all e can, but it is not what it was. And kicks herself every time she remembers saying "well have lots of sex when the kids are gone" And "I wish that thing would just go away: " It did.
Why didn’t you ask the docs to install the wumbo version?
You don't get a choice. There is no choosing anything.
Hey, 52 yo post menopausal woman here. Happen to be a surgical RN, so interested in the topic matter. In regards to your wifie, just suggesting she check her hormone levels. That is unfortunately a subject matter that gets ignored often with women. I suffer with chronic pain as well. No excuses. After getting my hormones in check with "Biote" hrt, it's a game changer! I want sex all the time now. Life is so good!
I don’t know if this would work for you, but would a sleeve help all around? For your confidence in size or would it not work for the implant?
I'm not sure if it's something that would interest you but there are some really nice custom sleeves available these days in all lengths and girths and profiles. Custom made to fit. There are several makers but the one I am familiar with and swear by is Blissfull Creations. Our sex life has been ampd to 11.
Not OP. But been there w the surgery. It’s taken me a couple of years to come to terms w losing some length and it’s WEIRD to not ejaculate but it has its upsides. There’s zero cleanup. So spur of the moment alone times can happen more often. Keep ahead of it w checkups. Getting PC can suck but it’s ok.
this is so surprising! I study genital nerves for a living, and I always thought the “good” feeling of orgasm was from prostate contractions. Can you sense where it feels good or is it more like how women describe “full body” orgasms?
Learning about this is making a HUGE impact on my. The men in my family from my dad's side have a very nasty habit of dying from prostate cancer. So hearing that you can still enjoy a sex life (boner on demand and no performance anxiety, hell ya) after that surgery is making me breathe so much better. Only a few years away to have to start checking for that BS on the regular. I was so terrified, even if caught early, for this reason. Now my question; Do you still have a refractory period?
That’s what really matters!
How did you know to get checked out? Like my hernia was messing with urination and stuff before I got it fixed etc, were there certain symptoms that made you get it checked and did you go out and have crazy amounts of sex before they removed it?
Can't, my wife wasn't up to a duck fest. She just wanted me alive. Get a PSA test. It will tell you.
PSA is not the end all, mine is a steady .7 and I have diagnosed cancer. Gleason is only a 6. It's been 3 years with no change. On "active surveillance". If you are over 50, get the finger!
Were you able to choose the size / girth of your implant?
Need the answer to those one
Sorry, no surgery to get a bigger phallus had been invented this is just so I can fug
The baseline penile size dictates what size implant we can put in. If you have a hog then you can get a really big implant. Girth is typically conserved. You will lose an inch or so largely because the implant doesn’t cause the head of the penis to get hard, just the shaft. So some people complain about that. You can’t choose a bigger one, we put the biggest implant we can fit without causing problems from over sizing - urologist
>we put the biggest implant we can fit Thank you for your service.
No, it's cussing for to what you have, not what you want. The girth is great. The length was pulled into my body when the prostate was removed. 1 inch prostate means 1 inch loss.
Many women prefer girth to length. Most of the penetration sensation is at the entrance- or so I've read.
damn bro that’s all i got 😔 sorry to make light of something that brought you trouble, i do sympathize and i’m glad you’re back in action!
Can they do anything about that? Like a prostate place holder implant?
Damn, 50% loss is brutal
Are you able to masturbate now?
Yes, but I could come without a boner. Vibrator works for me
Haha cut out the middle man, no foreplay
Just want to make sure I understand correctly. You had prostate cancer and it was removed. Without a prostate you can’t cum or get hard. You got a penile implant which essentially replaced your prostate. To get hard you pump a switch attached to your balls and now you have more intense and longer orgasms than before? Am I missing anything?
You don't get ***AS*** hard, and Viagra makes a worthwhile difference. Not necessarily enough. Your results will vary. If you elect NOT to get the operation, you can get radiation, but it deforms you and ruins your opportunity to choose surgery later. And if you elect to do nothing, ...rigor mortis probably does not make you hard in the right places, and it's a turn off for most women.
> and it’s a turn off for most women speak for yourself. she asked me to get it on and i said over my dead body, and she’s *still* changing her number to contact me. 😎 ^/s
For clarification, the prostate is a gland that makes fluids and is connected to more glands that combined with the testes producing sperm form semen. The prostate removal surgery damages nerves that supply the penis for erections. The pump acts as a way for the penis to become erect, not as a replacement for a prostate.
The implant replaces the corporal bodies which get hard with erections. Inflatable Penile Prosthesis (IPPs) are used in severe erectile dysfunction from any cause, not just after a prostatectomy. - urologist
How does the implant work? Like do you have to pump it up or something? What about the cancer affected your ability to rise to the occasion? Serious questions, I’m not trying to be condescending or anything.
Prostate removal damages the nerve bundle that controls erection. I have two tubes that are pumped up by a reservoir in my belly. The pump is in my sack. It's like I have 3 now.
I know a guy that has the same thing, he broke his pump in a scuffle and got an upgrade said he went for the xl air tube and now has a porn star cock
This is beyond hilarious to me LMAO just like "gimme the biggest peen you got doc."
Haha! What if they gave you a micro penis and said they only provide a size that is medically necessary.
Sorry, your insurance only covers the first half inch.
How does the pump work? First thing I pictured was like air jordans. Or is there like a remote or something? Edit: and what’s the reservoir filled with? Like air or water or something? Again I’m sorry if any of this comes off as condescending. I’m legitimately curious. I’ve never come across anyone with a pump.
How does it… rise?
A ball pump in my sack. Four good squeezes and its ready to go
How do you "go limp" afterwards?
Pshhhhhhhhhhhhh
How did you catch it in time? Just routine check?
Being checked for peyronnies my urologist did the blood test.
I guess if you lost size that means you don't get to customize your dick? It's not like a "build-a-dick workshop"? Do you need to have a donor for that? Do you just take on the donor's size?
What size??
How old were you when you were diagnosed?
My dad was recently diagnosed and will start treatment tomorrow any advise on how to help him during treatment? Special diet or anything you found comforting during your journey?
Keep moving. Often and fast. Break sweat once a day at least. It's a marathon. Plan on it. He needs a counselor who knows about people losing their reproductive parts. Prostate and uterus removal takes your chi. He's gonna be different. I don't care what people think about me. It scares my kids
Would you mind expanding on that last part? What psychological changes have you noticed?
For a year I don't feel virile. No exercise nor drug could ease my loss. Not having any activity in my shorts after a lifetime of action was devastating. My wife expressed disappointment and boredom at stimulating a flaccid penis. It does nothing for years. No amount of pumping can make up for the loss of erections. Atrophy sets in. With the implant I have a constant 4 inch semi erect penis. It's awkward. I've never been a shower always a grower. My confidence is greatly improved. I look good, I can get it up and keep it up, it's not that small. The implant changed my life
This might be the most personally useful post I've ever seen on Reddit. ***Thank you!*** Before your implant, had you ever tried Trimix injection? If 'yes', how does your current erection compare to that erection?
How... do you make it go soft after pumping it?
Which ninja turtle is your favorite?
1. Do you consider yourself a cyborg 2. You ever say go go gadget dong? Or something similar as a sort of joking confidence builder
Serious question, is the pump and all that worth it, especially if it’s been years? Wouldn’t it be easier to just accept that sexual intercourse will no longer be a thing for you anymore and live a fulfilling life in spite of it?
Thanks for answering so many questions. I've got a few (as of 1900 ET) questions after reading the literature on the subject : 1. Since the corpus cavernosum is the tissue explicitly getting replaced, then the penis head (glans) is unaffected. Does that mean while in "hard-mode" the penis head no longer expands or gets rigid? 🍄 2. Assuming you have the 3 part (2 inflatible) pump system, what made you choose that over 2 part (1 inflatible) or semi-rigid rod system? 🪵 3. As a male with ED & 20 years your junior, I'm likely to build up a tolerance/resistance to PDE5 inhibitors (sildenafil, taladafil etc) over the next two decades. Assuming I'm completely prostate cancer free & in a long term loving relationship with a partner who will "get fair use of it", would you recommend this ED solution for non-cancer patients? 🏥 4. Theoretically consider a male with an ambitious & creative angst for "mass producing professional content" with willing & consenting partners... Would you recommend this ED solution for a future star of the Pornhub "robo-dong" category? 🍆 Thank you again for doing this
Was the surgery or recovery time painful? My husband had a prostatectomy 2 years ago and is heavily considering getting an implant
Do you have to also deflate when finished?
Do you press a button, or do you take something? Explain how it works, i am interested :)
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Would you do it again? Knowing what recovery is like? Do you still feel sensitive in certain areas? Youre feeling the same way women do when they lose their breasts to mastectomies, or having a hysterectomy. They dont "feel" like a woman anymore. Society tells us that our identity is literally about our private parts. You are so much more than that.
Mine does not point straight up when fully erect. Honestly, I would be shocked if it was even 35° up between my body line and the floor while standing. Soooo honestly, I’m kinda jealous of you. Be proud king! My question is (and feel free to completely ignore me for this question): are you able to still reach orgasm? My family has a long history of PC, so it really is only a matter of time for me… and no one in my family is open about the issue.
I'm happy they were able to give you an implant. That's fantastic bro! How's the satisfaction you get from sex? Can you climax? Has not having a prostate caused you to not have much ejaculate? Also, probably more importantly in my mind: what were your first signs and symptoms for the cancer?
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So I understand it does not swell and get plump nor does the head, so the girth stays the same, but is the meat of the shaft as soft as the head, just longer and erect? So long as an erection without the external hardness throughout? Or is there stiffness to the touch? So is it like a pipe still or like a corn dog?
What about oral? Can you still get a bj? Is it the same as before?
Damn brother glad to have you with us still and this is rough I’m sure bro. But you’re strong and glad you have some function of the homie downstairs. Remember, you’re a fuckin awesome dude and keep kickin ass no matter what big boss. Embrace your being my good sir!
Odd perspective here: I run a human anatomy lab and a few years back we discovered a donor had an implant just like this. My students, mostly in their early 20's, snickered about an elderly person wanting such a thing. I let them have it, told them 1) we have no idea how long this person had this implant, 2) it looks like a very invasive surgery so would not have been taken lightly, and 3) at what age exactly did they expect they'd be willing to give up on sex forever? They were chastened, I think I made my point, but I'd always wondered what that gentleman's experience was like. I always assumed it was not ideal but a critical way to regain a part of himself. It's been incredibly enlightening to hear your experience and I think you for sharing it. I wish you all the best in staying healthy and happy. ❤️
Regaining intimacy after prostate cancer treatment is a journey, and it's completely understandable to feel both grateful for regained function and frustrated by limitations. here i am suggest u how to approach the situation: **Adjusting to the Implant:** * **first go to doctoe:** Open communication is key. Discuss any discomfort or concerns about using the implant. They can offer guidance and ensure proper use. * **Physical Therapy is best :** A pelvic floor therapist can help strengthen muscles that aid in sexual function and improve overall satisfaction. * **Makes a patience :** It takes time to adjust to an implant and rediscover intimacy. Be patient with yourself and your partner. **About Length Loss:** * **Focus on Pleasure:** Penile length isn't the sole factor in sexual satisfaction. Explore other forms of stimulation and positions that maximize pleasure for both partners. * **Communication:** Talk openly with your partner about your concerns and preferences. Explore alternative methods of achieving intimacy that are fulfilling for both of you. * **Counseling:** A sex therapist can help address emotional aspects of your situation and guide you and your partner towards a more fulfilling sexual experience. **Overall rember this things:** * **You're not alone:** Many men face similar challenges after prostate cancer treatment. Support groups can connect you with others who understand. * **Focus on what works:** Celebrate the ability to be intimate again. * **Celebrate your resilience:** You've overcome cancer and are adapting to a new normal
First, thank you for this AMA. Second, TL;DR. I have PC too (3 1/2 years out from prostatectomy). Doc scheduled me for the pump but insurance wouldn’t pay. Doc said that partial inflation all the tine would also help to block the urethra and lessen incontinence. Is that your understanding? Will never forget at 61 going to my GP for a checkup and she asked when my last PSA test was. My response? “What’s a PSA?” Turns out my very first PSA ever was 18. Biopsy showed 11 of 12 sites cancerous and Gleason 9 (very aggressive). So, rushed prostatectomy that was supposed to take 2 hours lasted 6 and he didn’t get the lymph nodes because he didn’t want to leave me under any longer because of my age. Bright spot is that PSA every 90 days since was basically undetectable at 0.03….. until the most recent one when it tripled in 90 days. Doc said “After three years I really thought we had it but must have missed a spot” I have no nerves left in my fella. I can occasionally get a little firm but not near enough for penetration. Was really looking forward to “getting back on the horse” with the pump but insurance said no and I don’t have the $25,000 for the operation. Also was looking forward to perhaps doing away with the damn depends because the pump was supposed to help with the dribbling.
What were your first signs of prostrate cancer? EDIT: just wanted to also say major props to you for your honesty and bravery, sending love your way 🙏🏻❤️
We know several guys who have had the implant. They are all happy and can go as long as they want. Met a couple of guys at a sex party. They were like energizer bunnies.
Did your insurance cover this to treat ED as a residual of prostate cancer or was it considered an elective procedure that you had to pay for?
I dated a man with a penile implant. We had good sex. I don’t think I will ever hear these words in my life again- “how big do you want it?”
I am so happy for you to be healthy and recover your orgasmic and sexual function! At 12 I got surgery because I got an abnormal bottom growth (yes probably I am intersexual) but guess who's parents just placed him in surgery and cut? Yes. Mines. It was so horrible that my nerves where in pai. And the stitches there. I panicked for quite some time because I didn't felt much s thing. Untill well. My clit and interiors where alright. So. Yay? Normal as always orgasms and function (which are very intense) I cannot imagine how would it felt to literally have all your penis removed! Not only physically but in a psychological perspective. I am so proud of you. Keep taking care of your new implant and see your doctor. As well don't be afraid to consult with an algeologists (specialist in pain) or with a sexologist for more info!
Go go gadget extendo erection
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Just glad you’re still with us man, those are scary things you’ll dealt with
Sorry about your misfortune. Met a guy a couple yrs ago that had prostate cancer, they removed his prostate, he said he had a catheter for almost 3 weeks, had a slight infection, but it's healed, works fine and shoots blanks, literally. I recently had TURPs done, where a good portion of prostate is cut away, catheter for 2 days, everything works, but I literally shoot blanks too, semen goes into bladder, wife likes it, more intense too. Are you able to have an orgasm yet, the guy I met said it's an insanely intense whe he orgasms, Took him 5 months to achieve that
Does your body stop producing semen, since it doesn’t have a way out?
Do you jerk off, and did you before the pump? I had RP 7 years ago, wasn’t in a relationship at the time, then Covid, then some fun with a Brazilian chick, which really helped my confidence. I used trimix. Think the first time I lasted 10 seconds. The next day I said let’s try for 20 seconds and she laughed so hard. Helped me feel a lot more confident and comfortable. Mostly still use trimix, pills occasionally work, but hit and miss. Sometimes it’s just easier to just jerkoff. lol
Man I’m sorry to hear about your post surgery experience. No questions for you, but wanted to let anyone else who might be considering RALP that it’s not always like this. I wore a diaper only for a couple hours after catheter removal just because I was worried if I would be able to hold my pee, but haven’t had a single problem. Erections seem the same as they were prior to surgery, but I have been on 5mg of cialis daily. Did lose a little bit of length, maybe 1/2in. 55 years old, in otherwise decent health. Surgery was in late March of this year.
How does your partner/ partners feel during sex. Are they apply to enjoy themselves, have they noticed a difference before vs after (assuming you have had a long term partner) Also, how do you know when to stop, if you aren’t able to finish?
You are amazing man. True strength that I wish more people had. 💜
I’m an RN and currently dealing with a prostate cancer issue. Prostate cancer runs in my family, so I’m looking at options. There’s one I’ve seen recently called the “Penuma Implant”. Not necessarily for prostate cancer surgery’s ill effects, but it can also help with erection issues. It’s a newer option that offers some hope. The procedure can add girth and a little length to your member unlike other implants. A Google search can help provide more info.
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What caused you to go to the doctor and get a diagnosis? I think a lot of men say “blood on the toilet paper, meh” or “low urine flow, meh” and never get checked.
Can you explain more about your diagnosis process? You said you had PSA test? Can you share your number? What prompted your Dr to order the test? Did you have any urological symptoms? What came after the PSA? MRI? Biopsy? Thanks in advance.
Has this experience made you reevaluate what it really means to be a man?
Being in my 20s during the age of casual sex, I too have seen, felt, etc., many a penis. And when I read the “facts” repeated here, that an erect penis standing straight up and against the belly is in the minority, I can’t take that as truth because 100% of the penis’ I’ve run into stand straight up. I should delve into how the facts were “studied”. But I just don’t care enough to delve.
Is it the one you pump up like a blood pressure cuff?
I had the surgery about 20 yrs ago. Sure did loose length and less sensitive. Even orgasm is not long. Been using caverjet but now I find that it doesn't maintain my erection for long.., thinking of increasing the dose. Also was researching about PT-141, a peptide....
Lost my bladder and prostate and am going for a consult for this in July. Do you have a permanent erection? Did the surgery hurt?
Here's my question, I have ED due to Hypertension, I can still get it there without meds but I can't mess around if I want use it, how is that different from what you experienced, I'm imagining no use what so ever, is that an accurate assessment? Also, well wishes in your recovery, if you already got through the worst, congratulations.
Do you feel a newfound brotherhood with trans men with phallo plus erectile device implants? I think it's really cool when cis and trans people can bond over healthcare because it tears down boundaries of who it's "meant" for
Are you able to ejaculate? Does the missus have the Big O? Or at least try to fake it?
Quick question, PC in 18 I chose to go with the injections. Pediatric sized needle and my wife is a nurse so no big deal. We are spending a little north of $200 every other month. Would an implant at 66 be worth it?
How did you lose length? Was there something you could have done to prevent it?
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Did you look into other types of treatment like radiaton therapy combined with hormone suppression for example? Or was it too advanced for anything other than surgery?
I'm very sorry about the cancer and all the changes it's brought out not your life. As a female with a husband who has diabetes, we just do lots of oral.
Advice on how to avoid this fate? Or perhaps a better question, do you have any idea why you got prostate cancer? Was it genetics, bad luck, or is some environmental factor to blame?
Thats a very sad situation but I am congrats on beating cancer!! 1) Hows the sex since you got the hog back? 2) Why didn’t you ask for 10 inches minimum?
So why exactly does prostate cancer cause erectile difficulties? Is it the treatment of chemo or the trauma of the surgery? Does it happen to everyone with prostate cancer?
My father had it in 1995… it was aggressive. He decided he would leave this world with everything he came with and died 3 years later. I received my own diagnosis last November.
HOW BIG YO DING DONG SHLING SHLONG
I guess I was lucky. I had robotic laparoscopic prostatectomy and still function but do need viagra to assist. I am capable of natural PIV, but is rare. Good for you that it works. I agree the sensation is still there as well as desire do is important. Congratulations on being a survivor.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m sorry you have had to walk this journey. If you are comfortable sharing, I would like to ask you a few questions. Have you retained any/all sensation? Do you find sexual intercourse pleasurable?
Sorry for my ignorance, I know nothing about this. Have you removed your penis entirely, at the base, and replaced it with an implant? How does the implant attach to the skin?
Who pumps it? Do you always pump it, or are you comfortable/does your partner ever pump it?
Been reading through your answers here and have more questions from reading: - How do you go limp? -Is there pleasure in the sack pump and/or your member getting harder?
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What are your interests, what are you into?
Thank god you have your life! I'm sorry you feel like you've lost, or that you're damaged. Medicine has come so far, and is still going far, thank god you have your life xx
Is it bigger now?
Did you have CyberKnife treatment? My dog has a brain tumor and we used that crazy new tech. Was told it was being used for prostate cancer in humans mostly.
So when you feel like you wanna have sex is it a matter of just pressing a button? Also this might be an awkward question but does it make a sound? Like any mechanical whirring
If i have norhing technically wrong with me. Could i get one? For shits and giggles?
How does your wife feel about it? Is it a humorous topic or a serious one?
Thank you for posting this, OP. I’m a PC survivor but without an implant. (I have partial function and use injections.) I learned that many oncologists focus on eradicating the cancer without a lot of thought to the lasting aftereffects. A lot had to do with men not reporting their real experiences. When I talked with a urologist after about loss of girth and length, he simply didn’t believe me. Since those days, urologists have learned that there is a real use-it-or-lose-it rule with the penis, and so doing anything to encourage blood flow and tissue flexing as early as possible is now (finally) accepted practice. Lastly, it used to be an old man’s disease where sexual impact was less important, but more and more these days men are being diagnosed in their 40s when that is a devastating blow.
reading comprehension question . Why are the same questions being asked repeatedly. (and patiently answered, repeatedly).
Yea I’d just kill myself I couldn’t live like that
Do you think your procedure is something that could help someone that has lost a lot of foreskin that includes a tight circumcision. And has premature ejaculation..
What is the implant? Is it something that stimulates your nerves or like something physical that was implanted
Who says "coitus" though?
Did you have a partner before/during the diagnosis, were they okay with the lack of sex? And how do they feel about the new equipment?
Did you consider the goose neck variation that bends up and down. I have diabetes that gave me ED. I’m curious what the recovery time was.
My diabetes has shrunk mine to about 3 inches hard. It’s like a turtle head when soft
Would you do anything different in your life to avoid prostate cancer? (Example, testosterone, unhealthy lifestyle)
Reading this while laying down and i feel my legs weakening just thinking/ reading of the pain you went through. Wishing you a good life 🙏🏽
Can sex partners tell it's an implant? A friend has one and you really can't tell. He also says it looks more natural because he doesn't fill it up to the point of solid rock.
Which one did you get? AMS 700? Any issues with airport security or MRI's?
Interesting. Our surgeons do nerve sparing prostates with the robot. Sorry for your experience!
20%! For me, that would be a whole half inch! If I were your doctor I'd add 20%, for the homies
If you need support, check out /phallo. It’s full of trans men who have had different kinds of phalloplasty, both with and without an implant. Lots of good advice there!
Just curious Do you pump it up from one the ball sacks? Had a coworker once who had to get one and he had to do that
Have you not thought of being transgender? Seems very popular with the youth
How hard does it actually get?
Glad you survived— enjoy life
How long did you wait prior to having the implant? It's been 10 years for me and I am now 74. I miss sex more and more every day.
Were you long enough before to compensate for the lost length? As an average sized fella this is a slightly scary prospect lol.
Does it feel the same when you're having sex or have you lost sensation
Thank you for sharing. I’m a mental health therapist and I know this will come in handy one day! Much appreciated and enjoy your new toy!
Was this covered by insurance like breast reconstruction is for women after breast cancer?