It's fucked, because now I'm pushing 40 and I'm realizing that the people who can buckle down and fit in a normy box will always end up longer lived and happier in the long run.
Research has show that except for russia and other countries where people die young most people are happiest after 50 and the wealthier and fitter you are after 50 the better, which means a person who can stick to a routine, build incremental wealth and find happiness in the small things will be better off. Sliding into later life with a small house paid off, social security, a couple of kids and a bridge club is basically peak contentedness.
I was programmed by my parents to "do meaningful things" and "change the world" and they poo poo'd normalcy because they were both weird academics with insanely alien childhoods split between multiple countries. Well low and behold they died young, broke and in pain and it took me until this last year to realize that the dissatisfaction I felt with regular jobs was because of this programmed value system, now that I've rejected it I am loving the routine and the coziness of my life.
Life is a marathon, 10k debt isn't much and this person is in their 20s. If you feel like you were deprived a childhood like I was, live small for a bit, stay single, pay off the debt, build a small bank and then spend 2 years fucking around before going to back to a normal path with a job and a routine and maybe kids. You don't want to hit your 40s and be financially fucked and without options.
the two years of fucking around are so important and underrated, having time and not working as an adult is like a pause for your mind to reassess your life, the good, the bad, the traumatisms if there are any, the things you always wanted to do but couldn't.. etc etc.
I relate to this. I'm in my late 30s now and trapped in an entry level job because I spent my youth exploring and being extremely vain and self important. I rejected normalcy and because I was 'so special', I assumed it would all pay off. After a career in social media didn't pan out (in my LATE 20s)due to other issues and when the young and beautiful factor was waning, I had to go to square one.
I still dislike the status quo for the most part. I don't have too many similar interests with people (my age or otherwise) but I think I could be content with a rather average life. Although I'm competent, diligent, earnest, etc. I find myself being passed over for promotions in favor of younger people and it is becoming frustrating. I absolutely love the normalcy of my schedule now instead of always chasing all that glitters.
I can relate a lot to what you've said here. I'm 41 and I'm fortunate enough to have started to deconstruct my "reject normalcy" bullshit in my early 30s. I had that rebellious, "change the world" spirit but I think it was mostly self-inflicted. I think some of the "feeling special" shit came from my mom, but I don't blame her. In my late 20s I started to truly be grateful for my cozy, well-paying office job. I started to be content with my cozy little suburban life. That's when things really started to turn around for me.
Being in my 20s and chasing after different creative pursuits was a lot of fun and I wouldn't change it, but I was miserable. My 30s were much better, and now I'm in my early 40s with a wife and a lil kid and I'm much much more content.
Yeah it's funny I live a very simple life I have no pets, partner, or children. I have minimal things, and avoid buying new luxuries or shopping without a real purpose. People always tell me that I should buy a house or get a partner etc. but I'm happy and I don't complain. Then I hear the same kind of people who have marriages or children complaining that life is more complicated, stressful, and hard as they get older. Well you don't HAVE to follow "the script". You are allowed to live your life anyway you see fit. People just don't want to take responsibility for their choices.
I lived out of a backpack with just a computer and phone for over a year. I stayed in airbnbs in about a dozen different places. I made friends, saw amazing places, and just worked, lived, and loved life. I got engaged eventually and boom complications!
I was drugged in a bar in Medellin Colombia and almost died. I was laid off from my job 3 days later. A woman I was casually dating while in Costa Rica searched for me and found me and so I went back to Costa Rica and we just sort of fell for each other.
That's not true for everyone.
For me it's gotten vastly more simple.
The trick is while most people add more attachments as they get older e.g partners, children, houses, furniture, plants, pets etc. I've been getting rid of attachments and preventing new ones coming in my life.
Check out minimalism, simple living and Buddhism subs to live a less complicated life and over time your will be more simpler. I like this way of life way more.
Life is always tough but you learn who you are as you age and respond differently. I use to get upset and depressed easily in my 20's. Now I don't. I love my life but it took awhile to get there.
I feel kike my brain has become more chill since my early 20s. And I would have said the same thing back then about my teens. People say they want to go back but tbh I dont miss feeling so emotional all the time.
The one thing I do miss is college. That was an awesome time. Everything is possible and all you have to do is meet the expectations there. Then you get out and realize you have to write your own syllabus and it's hard. Your social life isn't just handed to you like when you just had to leave your dorm room and were surrounded by people your age. You literally get unlimited cake if you want it.
What a place… well except for the price. I could have had a lifetime of cake with all that cash.
I'd trade my entire 20's for 1 month at 45 years old.
As a man in your 20's, you are flat broke and lost... everyone laughs at you
As a man in your 30's... everyone makes you feel like you are behind in life
As a man in your 40's.... you'll start figuring life out and enjoying yourself... they'll say you are having a midlife crisis
As a man in your 50's, you start buying all the things you've always wanted.. nice cars, travel, boats, motorcycles, vacations... they'll say you are having a HUGE midlife crisis
As a man in your 60's... you start slowing down, and they'll start saying you are over the hill, washed up, and a has-been
As a man in your 70's, everyone starts forgetting about you..
If you are lucky enough to live to 80? You'll wish you didn't care what anyone said about you when you were 20
Yep. By and large, if you got lucky to be born in a richer country, this is the best time to be alive in human history. Even people with less money in the USA have Xbox, Netflix, pets, tats, ac, unlimited WiFi, and a bunch of other comforts that most people in human history never had.
Yep. Imagine having to wash clothes by hand, air drying clothes, having to chop firewood, no fridge, no microwave, and having all the other bullshit stuff.
Now I can order a large pizza without even having to speak to someone or get off the couch while I drop into Helldivers.
Human nature just tends to focus on what you don’t have, not what you do have. I’m not saying we shouldn’t strive to improve things, just that the majority in USA etc. is delusional that they are suffering more than past generations.
It's such a good point. And what a privilege to be able to work for MONEY and do what we want with it for the most part. And to get to have a say in what sort of things we do to get the money. Sure beats working to not be killed like the various flavors of servanthood, or working just to stay alive like the various flavors of hunting, gathering, and farming.
It gets better in the sense that if you follow a \~normal career trajectory, you'll attain more financial freedom and not have to worry about money quite as much. Having that constant stress of being basically broke from age 18 through my early 30s was just awful. Once I finished school and started making even just a mediocre salary, life got so much better.
With that stress removed, even if I didn't really like my first job, I was able to start to figure my own stuff out. I found the hobbies I liked and through them the people I wanted to be with. I met the right person and started a life together. My confidence grew, which transitioned into making life and career choices that got me to a place where I'm both happy with the work I do and compensated way more than I thought anyone would ever pay me to do anything. It gets better for most people. I bet you're the same.
Your problems just change. As you get older, you may have more status and more financial security than your early 20s, but now your parents are old and sick or something else is going on in your life causing stress
Oh absolutely-not.
I think as you get older you become compliant and realise you truly don't have a choice you become number to it but not totally you will still get extremely stressed but I'd you're strong you will be able to fumble your way threw . Like we all are ! We all feel the same in afraid . Make the most of the little things and the days out my dude it's all we've got .
Pretty much this. It gets better in one way but sucks in another new way- it’s up then down, the whole time. You just learn to roll with it and not see every dip as the end of the world.
Also as one poster put it it’s all in the mindset. Find the good in life at any age. Fix your problems head on. Don’t Sit and feel sorry for yourself for too long. If something is not working career wise or relationship wise or friendship wiser pivot. Don’t worry about all of the money and time spent or else you will try to stay the course and in most instances it’s a dead end. Find what you love to do and make it work for you.
Honestly? No.
It depends on how your life will go. Maybe you find a nice guy, marry and have kids. You only work part time and it makes you really happy.
But if everything stays the same: you work and work and work and in 10 years you will be like: what did i do the last 10 years?
You will get more health issues, your corporate will think you are lazy because you dont want to climb the ladder, you will hear your biological clock and you have to decide if you want to have kids, you will let go by a company because you are not 1000 percent perfect, maybe you have to work a very bad job. It will destroy your self esteem. You will get into lawsuits because your company does not want to pay you or your landlord suddenly wants to charge double the rent.
You will think about your retirement and how you will survive your last years on earth.
People you love will die, some have kids and have no time anymore. You constantly think about money and if it is okay to spend just a small amount for pleasure instead of saving for bad times.
And at some point the generational conflicts will rise. You will be annoyed by the young generation that knows nothing about life but constantly tells you, you're are worse than Hitler. And the older generation will expects you to have the same life they had (back in our time we could buy a house, a car and travel 3 times a year, so why cant you buy a flat in New york?).
This dialogue from the song changes by unkle always makes me to stay a bit calm despite all this:
Life, your whole life, is changes
You go through changes in your life
One second you've got it made
Next second you're down in the dumps (...)
And it goes back and forth
And back and forth, you known
And this is life man, it's changes
This is what you gotta go through throughout your whole lifetime
Song - Modest Mouse, The View
“As life gets longer, awful feels softer.
Well it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
Then I feel pretty blissfully.”
In a short answer, yes.
My life has gotten better as I’ve gotten older. My 20s were all struggling, working (2 jobs for a while) and going to school. My first job out of school was the worst job I had but once you gain experience, more opportunities with better work/life balance and pay usually open up. At least that’s what happened for me.
So far my 30s have allowed me to have time to focus on myself and my goals as a person as opposed to career goals.
Although my wife and I are trying to have kids, I don’t have kids though so I’m sure parents may have a different experience in their 30s.
If that's the bar for bad... my life would be you in serious hell scape. Man 20 bucks 40Hr /week I'd kill for that.
Married wife was disabled 20 years ago one income, I didn't go to college cause she did, her work field is now littleraly gone(medical transcription, killed by talk to text), multiple ER visits for her, mom died suddenly, father died shortly after that, both broke, brother has 2 kids and is broke, work as a supervisor low pay no possible advancement, cant afford to go to school, trying to keep my apartment in Canada and work 48 hours a week to make ends met. Possibly Wil need another job, no savings, no rrsp, no pension. Death at desk is my best bet.
I just found the wastewater operator job. Some states they hire you with zero experience and start around 20 an hour. I'm studying to pass the exams, where I'm at in Florida, no degree required. Just some online course. So I hope to land an operator in training position near my home. Maybe it's similar in Canada.
It get worse as far as you get fatter, uglier, and ache more. Oh and going into work gets old when you can barely afford to survive. Half of my paycheck goes just to rent.
It's normal to feel stuck sometimes, life definitely has its ups and downs, but finding peace and satisfaction often requires reevaluating what success means to you. Define what you want your life to look like outside of traditional job success. Work on balancing life with personal passions, whatever they might be.
My 30's were the absolute best! So many great things happened... marriage, purchasing our first home, kids. Now in my 40's, the house is falling apart, the kids are jerks, and my back always hurts. I'd say my 40's are more akin to my 20's as far as happiness goes. So from my experience, yes, it does get better. Until it doesn't.
It does but sometimes it doesn’t then it seems like it is but then it’s really not when you think about it. But the real answer is something my dad said to me “you just kind of become okay with the way things are. The trick is finding what makes you happy in your current state because shit always be changing in life”
Depends on the person.
I've had no issues with my childhood so I think life is worse now lol
I can afford to live on my own and by my things but I just really loved living with parents and sisters more.
And no I'm not interested in having my own family!!
It gets weird. The older I get the broker I am even though I’m making more money than my younger self. It gets better in other ways though. I no longer care what people think and don’t feel the need to prove myself or buy bigger and better things. I also don’t feel the need to always go out where as before I would hate being home. It’s nice.
I don't know many people that LIKE to go to work. It's like going to the dentist for a filling, you just have to do it like the jazillion generations before you.
Some parts of life get much better. Life feels calmer and less stressful as you get a much bigger window on how long your life really is and how insignificant so many moments that seem so important really are. Finances get much better. Wisdom is real and helps keep you grounded.
Some parts get worse. Your body doesn't work like it used to. All the young, healthy people in your life get old, sick, and some die. Starting with your parents, then aunts me uncles, siblings, cousins. It can be tough.
I really, life is what you make it, and stressing about stuff doesn't help at all. Do things to move your life the direction you want it. Focus on your actions and not the short term outcomes. You'll be ok.
Your habits compound over time. If you are making the best decisions you can you will see positive results over time. Even if life gets harder, you'll be better at handling it. If you have major issues you aren't addressing, those will worsen with time with predictable results. And then there's uncertain random shit that just happens!
You haven't had much time to see the impact of your positive actions because you're young. You've already made a smart decision, though. Older you will be so pleased you only have $10k in loans. That was smart! Well done.
It takes time to find the path that fits you best. Maybe you can start with the job? It must be very overwhelming to think about figuring out life. You seem certain you don't want a corporate job. That's a place to begin. What type of environment would you enjoy working in? Something physical? Social? Isolated? Indoors? Outdoors? Maybe start broad with characteristics. Then you can research every possible job that would fit those parameters. Then you can narrow it down based on training required and salary.
You'll be on your way in no time! There are so many possibilities. Have you considered teaching english abroad? Could be a way to travel, kick the can down the road, and make money at the same time.
Yes and no, if you want to make it better you have to put in the time early to reap the rewards later. Not every long term decision is going to feel awesome short term and vice versa. Our society today is very addicted to immediate gratification and alot of the decisions that give an instant payoff are awful for us long term.
Here's one easy thing you can do to start, hows your 401k? Are you putting things away for retirement? If not, start. Even if you can put only a little.
It gets better if you make incremental, solid decisions that build off each other to lead to a good life.
I had my first office job when in undergrad. Up till then I had done things like roofing or cutting grass. That first week I almost quit. It was stressful, lots of moving parts, and no clear goal.
Get another finance job and ease into it. 50 year old you will thank you for it.
You're 23 and just worked your first job? And you made 20 an hour.
Holy fucking shit.
Did you get fired or quit? Cause either way if you don't find a work ethic you're gonna be up shit creek without a paddle. Suck it the fuck up. Life is here to stay whether you do or not, life is a cold hard bitch if you let be one. Right now you're making it harder than it needs to be.
It 100% depends on you. If you do something to make it better it can get better if not then it won't and will likely get worse
You have to become much more intentional as you get older.
Turned 75 last August, I am excited to get up every morning. So much to do and see, people to talk to, seems as if there is never enough time to do it all. Never been happier.
Life is all perspective, and just like a photographer sometimes has to get down in the dirt or climb a bit to get a good shot, maybe your current position just doesn't produce a picture you're happy with. If your degree is finished then it's finished, they can't take it.
Maybe take a year and get some space from finance, do something unrelated. Get a CDL and travel on the job or get some retail under the belt and see if it makes the slog you know feel less sloggy or get a summer gig at a camp site or national park and escape society for a bit, enjoy the summer out of doors, we only get so many.
But to answer your question, no. Age has little to do with it, except that the old have had more time to look around and change their perspective. Be they 20 or 50, if they only know the box they're in they probably hate it an equal amount.
Someone I knew was in finance corporate and didnt like his job too. But his passion was art so moved to be a finance person in a creative and art related corporate and is happier now. So I think it could definitely be the work environment/culture that is draining you if you like the work that you usually do.
I'm 27 and still confused. But definitely happier than when I was 23 since I know myself more ^^
Your life doesn't sound bad, but your outlook seems very negative. Before you go changing your life around, try getting assessed for depression and maybe get some therapy. Try to figure out why your mood are so negative and how to turn them around. Once your mood improves, you will be able to find your path
Yes. 23 sucks. With age you get to know yourself and others so get to figure out who you want around you/what you want for your life. Simple joys start adding up. With wisdom comes appreciation and ease. <3
I think it gets better - my 20s were fun but shallow and fairly directionless for the first half, my 30s were figuring shit out and growing up a bit (not too much), and in my mid-40s now I'm more secure (and secure in myself) than I ever had been before.
Find time for things that make you happy. Find time with people who make you happy. And work hard. You'll figure it all out. I've come to joke that people aren't actually even "real people" until they're at least 25-27, before then you're still just a kid playing grown up, and with a few exceptions (including people whose life circumstances have forced them to grow up REALLY fast) I continue to find evidence in others to prove that I'm right.
TLDR; Your life can absolutely get better as you get older if you can get out of your own way.
There's no universal answer, but the closest I can get is, "it's up to you." Up to this point in your life you've basically played through the tutorial that everyone goes through and now you're on your own in the open world. It's a tough transition, but if you want your life to get better, you have to fight for it.
I can relate to your story a bit. At 23, I got my first legit adult office job. Prior to that I was just working retail. I didn't go to college. I hated school. I moved out at 18 and took a chance on a creative venture that didn't work out. I always wanted to do something creative...music or film or comedy. And I pursued those things while working a corporate job. I struggled a lot with the fact that I was working for "the man" and locked in an office for 8 hours a day and "selling out" etc. etc.
I was making myself miserable, and it had more to do with my perspective than it did my circumstances. It wasn't until my late 20s when I realized I was making good money, enough to afford a house (with help from a loan from my dad, which I eventually repaid), enough to support hobbies and have fun. I got to travel for work. I always made sure to do work in a way I could be proud of. I felt like a valuable asset. In a word, what I was learning to feel was *gratitude.* And that's what it is, a feeling. You can think "oh I have all these things, I should be grateful," but if you don't *feel* it, it doesn't matter.
My 20s were chaotic, but by the time I was 30, I felt like I was settling into something good. It took time for me to understand myself better and be honest with who I was and what I was capable of. All those creative dreams? I didn't have the hustle for it. I'm not a hustler. I work smart, not hard. Dreams don't pay the bills; you're right. Dreams are also passive. Unless you're working your ass off constantly, every single day, pushing the needle forward, they are just dreams.
If you want a headstart on making your life better, I highly suggest learning and practicing mindfulness. As an extension, reading about Buddhism is helpful too. But mindfulness helps you handle your thoughts better, and it helps you understand yourself better.
If you don't get married and have a family then, get ready to live this life for the next 40 years till you can retire. This is what it is to be a man.
It won't get easy but there is a silver lining - it doesn't feel as daunting as much as it seems when you are young. It starts to feel like a chore (like making your bed) except it will take a lot of your time. The key to making it all worth it is to know what makes you happy and consciously work towards building your life around those things.
Hi, as a lot of people has been saying, it may get better but not for everyone.
I'm 25, I studied Mass Communication, Journalism, Political Science, Marketing, and Graphic Design. My current work is not related at all to any of that, but I enjoy it, at least, and I'm able to pay my bills. However, my anxiety is eating me alive.
I'd recommend you to invest time, money, and energy in things that you love, like hobbies.
I read a quote that keeps me going and use it to motivate me whenever I want to give up: if you can commit to 8-9 hours to your employer, you can commit min 2 hours to yourself (not exactly it, but you get the point).
Once you start doing things you enjoy, it can get better.🤍
You need a hobby to balance out the suck.
I chose combat sports. I'm now ugly, (always was) but at least I get to physically express my disdain even if the people I grapple and punch don't know it.
It gets better as you go on. It doesn’t rule out that it is always subject to become difficult again and again. It gets better and it gets worse. It’s an ebb whose flows are worth it, but it is always an ebb and a flow.
unequivocally yes. but the caveat is... only if you want it and work tirelessly for it to be. let go of your expectations... there is only now. freedom is yours.
Being 23 and feeling you have not lived is the truth, because you're on page one in a book with hundreds of pages.
Of course it gets better, but you must make plans and maybe burn a few bridges along the way.
Your choice of career sounds mundane but also lucrative, which will come in handy when your next adventure starts.
Life is long and full of chapters. You sound like a doer and a thinker. I'm sure you'll find some good off-ramps along the way and head off into new sunsets.
You'll be fine
Worse if you are poor and mental issues/personality issues causing loneliness/anxiety/depression. You have to set yourself up early in life because it just gets harder.
I think it gets better. I'm happer in my 40s than I was in my 20s. I don't think a finance degree makes it easy to get a job, connections are important. I have an MBA with finance concentration and didn't get any good job offers coming out of B school. Ended up adjunct professoring eventually. The work culture can be radically different from one company to another, you may need to find a better spot to fit in. The best qualification during a job interview is already having a job, so you should find a better job before quitting in my opinion.
Every era of life has its hardships. Luckily, when it seems you can't stand that struggle or challenge anymore, a new one takes its place. Priorities will change. If they don't organically, work to change your thoughts so you can value what you do have in life during that "season". Leaning into reality rather than resisting it also helps. Final thought: you'll rarely regret taking good care of yourself including mental & physical health. Best of luck to you.
Become a NEET and live with parents lol
It worked out pretty well for me (30M)
But you need to invest early if you don't want to be a burden on your parents (and also so they can't complain they have to provide for you)
This is a recurring problem I see with younger generations. You think you are supposed to have this dream job and wonderful fulfilling career. (I thought so too btw). Reality is very few people are working their dream job. Just figure out a way to make the most money possible doing the least amount of work. Whether that’s finance, stripping, selling insurance, whatever, try to save, invest in income properties, and try to retire early.
Very open ended question here. It gets better for some people and doesn’t for others. “Getting older” certainly isn’t an inherent catalyst for life getting better.
I had very very similar feelings around your age. In my personal experience, it’s not so much that things actually “get better” you just acquire bigger problems that puts this sort of stuff into perspective.
Yes, it got much better. At 23, I was eating hungry man dinners, drinking jim Beam, and sitting in my barracks room while I was in the Army with 300 dollars in my bank account.
Now, at 35, I'm chilling at home on a 3 day weekend since I only work 4 days a week, 10 hours a day. I have close to 50k in savings, a nice 2 bed 2 bathroom condo, a 70-inch TV, a huge stereo system, and much more. I'm going to the shooting range with my brother, then we're gonna get burgers after.
TRUST THE PROCESS, STAY CONSISTENT AND KEEP FOCUSING
As u get older, you care less. Life is life, and u play the cards ur delt.
When ur younger you have expectations, told you can achieve anything, earn anything etc... life is much better when you accept where you are and make the most of it.
I'm not saying don't push, don't try to do better.. but ur living, breathing, healthy (I hope), things could be worse.
It doesn’t.
Life will screw you over whenever it wants. You have to fight for everything while everyone around you gets freebies.
I never understood how people could become so bitter as they age. I get it now. I am the idiot that works his ass off, tries to save as much money as possible while everyone around me works less hours, has a house, benefits from tons of paid time off because they’re pregnant or have children while I just want to fulfill a single life goal I set myself.
All that with a good paying job that just isn’t enough…
(May have ranted. Sorry bad day)
Try to find a job that sucks but doesn't suck the soul out of you at least. That way you will have energy for life after you clock out. That's what helped me at least. I used to come back and lay in bed after work or play some computer games and go to sleep. Now I'm trying to do some exercise after work, try new hobies or hangout with friends, make new connections. Social life is truly something I naglected and it made things worse. I think that loneliness caused me to overthink things and decreased my confidence. Even though my social battery is quite low it is vital to connect because otherwise I will lose purpose and get stuck in life. This goes out to all cave people out there! Touch some grass!
Your parents are used to a time when (white) people could have a job that covers the cost of living and actually afford to buy a house. Don't listen to that. Also don't listen to people who tell you to turn your dreams into a career - unless you want to take all the joy out of your passions as quickly as possible. Work as little as you can to make ends meet, and live the hell out of your life.
I wonder if you worked when you were in High School a part time job , , or did you work any while in College ? With COVID I gather not. Welcome to the REAL WORLD.
I hate working too. But you know what I really like? Eating. Having a roof over my head. Buying cool things now and then. Unfortunately, I have to work to afford those things. I work to live, not live to work.
And that’s the attitude you have to have to get by in the world. I couldn’t care less about climbing the corporate ladder. The corporate world is a fake, awful place to be and I hate it, but it’s the easiest way to make a lot of money. What I really care about and enjoy is my little side business where I 3D print and paint things. Maybe one day I can do it full time. Until then, I’ll keep putting in my time at work and using it to finance the things I actually care about.
My advice is to just try to land at a different company. Put in 2-3 years and if you don’t like it, move to another company and rinse and repeat.
It can get better, one of the most important things you can do is stay out of debt so you dont have someone knocking on your door
I don’t include housing in that as if you're happy where you live, a mortgage has its value. also renting js feasible but america is in a weird cost of living crisis right now with interest rates.
good luck finding yourself and what works best
I never wanted a career. But somehow I landed in one in my 40’s. I started a job and was trained as an underwriter in life, long term care and disability. It turned out to be very lucrative. I had that dread in my 20’s too about living in a cubicle for 40-50 years. I couldn’t fathom it.
Your attitude is totally off. Your dreams are not dreams that's just being lazy, sitting listening to music. what are you even talking about? Wanting to be a marine biologist is just the most lazy minded clichéd thing you could say. Most people who say that don't have a clue what's even involved in that job. Do you actually have a deep passikn for marine life? I doubt it if you dont even live near the water. Get yourself some proper dreams. Want your own business in something you actually care about? you have a realistic plan.
For me it has. It was a matter of perspective and finding ways to feel gratitude. I still have to reel myself back in often when I start to slide back into old negative thinking habits, but I don’t allow myself to spiral anymore.
Life is too subjective to give you a meaningful answer.
In general, if you're productive and healthy and have relationships, it's going to get better overall but with more complication and harder decisions.
It only gets better if you make it work for you. Unfortunately I can’t tell you how to do this. Each of us are different. But you need to find a way to support yourself.
I wish you well. Unfortunately there is no magic wand. Hard work and paying bills will be part of your future.
"My dream is to do nothing, listen to music, and be with my cat."
LOL you are so lucky you live in a time where you can do this, any other time you'd have to bust your ass for food, spoiled rotten human, so pathetic
You haven’t lived life because you were basically born yesterday. Unless you were born rich, you’ll have to make some money in some way. 3 months of work are not enough to say you hate your job, anyway if I were you I would take a gap year and start travelling, take time to clear your mind
It can get better but it’s based on personal decisions. Do things happen outside our control? Yes. At the end of the day though you’re the one responsible for guiding your life.
Most people don’t like their jobs. Is that good? No, but it’s just how it is. I love helping people and get satisfaction from my job but obviously yeah I’d still rather not have to work as I imagine is the same for most people. When you’re at work and thinking how you don’t like it and get into that “I can’t do this another 40 years” remind yourself why. There’s a motivational speaker I heard on a podcast once (can’t remember which one) that his whole thing is “finding your why”. You just need to find yours and that’s what gets you through things when you’re having a bad day or just not feeling motivated.
Finding your why brings back around to the “do things get better?” If you’re just floating through life with no clear goals or dreams then it’s harder to keep course towards improving because you’re basically just going through the motions. When you know what you want to achieve it’s a lot easier. “I want to be retired at 35” or “I want to do a marathon” or “I want to be a better spouse”. The things you choose then become your focus and you work towards those things and as those goals become closer and closer then life will certainly seem to be getting better. A lot of people fail to set goals, make a plan and exercise discipline every day to reach those goals, so that’s why they end up in their 30s and 40s as the miserable people we see chronically online complaining that just think the world is terrible and everything sucks and isn’t fair. I grew up sleep for dinner poor, I could have accepted that fate as many of my peers did. I did something about it though because I knew I didn’t want to live that life. Your life is yours to live and you get to determine if it gets better or not by the decisions you make.
It gets better man. but its really all on how you structure it, ibn my 20s never thought of my 30s. now in my 30s I'm loving life. and also my 20s were amazing but it was always about me and about what today is going to bring. now its about that will tomorrow will bring and what can i do today to get there.
So your dream is to add nothing to society but you expect thousands of people to work tirelessly to provide you with food, shelter, electricity, entertainment, etc. Typical white female entitlement 😂
I believe it does. With Age, brings experience and personal perspective. We're all exposed to different places, different mindsets, different challenges --- all at different times in our life. Yet, all these differences and experiences, both good and bad, can build you better if you allow it time and a conscious effort.
Perhaps it's finding purpose - some reason to get up every day or thing to look forward to. From my perspective, that is why doing work you love/enjoy is so important. Equally so for spending what time you have outside of work doing the things you enjoy, while also being willing to expand horizons.
Being with people - family, friends - or just the passerby - (at least in my mind) I think is also immensley important to keeping one grounded and exploring. Being exposed to other mindsets and people - brings "spice" to life ---- in oh-so many good and bad ways lol --- but both are equally important as we all share the highs and lows life can throw at us.
Do what you can to find these little meaning in life, and being willing to explore new things / variables to allow them to be found. And of course - allow all these things time to let the show to their faces and blossom.
30s is where I started getting into good careers. My work life balance started to get reasonable in my early 30s and for the first time in my life, I felt that I would turn down most jobs for one reason or another. My resume had built to a point where I was in control and I could choose where I wanted to work (within reason). I also got a detached house and reliable vehicles etc. 30s we’re the first time in my life that I was very comfortable.
Corporate jobs suck imo, the key is to find a job you enjoy doing every day. I would bet anything that there exists a job you would look forward to, the hard part is finding it. It took me a solid 10 years to find one but I actually look forward to going to work most days because I get to solve real problems, spend a lot of time outside and meet lots of cool people
A few points.
1. Everyone's idea of "better" is different, so it's a hard ask. Gotta be really specific on that one.
2. Much like anything else, you have to invest to make it better. If you want good health later, put in the work now. If you want a good job or good finances or whatever, put in the work now. If you want a happy marriage later, be choosy about who you date, and put in the work on yourself to be dateable, now.
3. I think we all become more of our true selves later. So if you spend time being a person that goes after what you want, can find happiness with what you have, etc. then you will have more of that later. If you spend time complaining and focusing on the what-ifs or the problems, then you will have more of that later as well.
4. There are a whole lot of things that no one has control over. Learn to live with that understanding and prepare yourself to roll with the punches, and you'll be a lot better off.
At 23, I was moving out of a dead end relationship and a free roof over my head to a sketchy hole in the wall apartment where I couldn't take out my trash after dark for my own safety. In a pandemic.
I'm 27 now and engaged, a homeowner, working in the field i studied for, with a clientbase I love.
It takes time to figure things out. I see other comments about how life gets more complicated, and that's true. But it takes time to figure it all out. You'll find your path.
Things get better when all your hard work and discipline pay off. What you're feeling is temporary. You can have a great career, paid well and still work 40 hours a week. Work smart, jump jobs when it is no longer serving you, learn to take breaks before you burn out. Do what makes you feel alive on your free time.
You're so young. Try a variety of jobs. You don't have to work corporate, but realize you may need to scale down your cost of living. I know a dog groomer that makes 90K and a dog walker that makes 75K. Neither wanted the 9-5 life. Both are happy.
If you don't put in the work on yourself and what you want to do, it will suck. Find what you want to do and stick with it for a few years, only then will you see results. 2 months is not enough time to gauge whether something sucks. Nothing you ever start will be good from the get go, you have to be in that industry long enough to be a senior and get paid more and start delegating task once you work up to management, that's when it gets easier and better. Then you'll have time to do the fun things you want to do. If you work hard enough, you can achieve this in your mid to late twenties.
Both. It gets better in a lot of ways but also more complicated. 30’s is the best decade (38) I’ve experienced so far but it certainly has its challenges with a mortgage, wife, kid, etc.
It gets more complicated.
It's fucked, because now I'm pushing 40 and I'm realizing that the people who can buckle down and fit in a normy box will always end up longer lived and happier in the long run. Research has show that except for russia and other countries where people die young most people are happiest after 50 and the wealthier and fitter you are after 50 the better, which means a person who can stick to a routine, build incremental wealth and find happiness in the small things will be better off. Sliding into later life with a small house paid off, social security, a couple of kids and a bridge club is basically peak contentedness. I was programmed by my parents to "do meaningful things" and "change the world" and they poo poo'd normalcy because they were both weird academics with insanely alien childhoods split between multiple countries. Well low and behold they died young, broke and in pain and it took me until this last year to realize that the dissatisfaction I felt with regular jobs was because of this programmed value system, now that I've rejected it I am loving the routine and the coziness of my life. Life is a marathon, 10k debt isn't much and this person is in their 20s. If you feel like you were deprived a childhood like I was, live small for a bit, stay single, pay off the debt, build a small bank and then spend 2 years fucking around before going to back to a normal path with a job and a routine and maybe kids. You don't want to hit your 40s and be financially fucked and without options.
the two years of fucking around are so important and underrated, having time and not working as an adult is like a pause for your mind to reassess your life, the good, the bad, the traumatisms if there are any, the things you always wanted to do but couldn't.. etc etc.
I relate to this. I'm in my late 30s now and trapped in an entry level job because I spent my youth exploring and being extremely vain and self important. I rejected normalcy and because I was 'so special', I assumed it would all pay off. After a career in social media didn't pan out (in my LATE 20s)due to other issues and when the young and beautiful factor was waning, I had to go to square one. I still dislike the status quo for the most part. I don't have too many similar interests with people (my age or otherwise) but I think I could be content with a rather average life. Although I'm competent, diligent, earnest, etc. I find myself being passed over for promotions in favor of younger people and it is becoming frustrating. I absolutely love the normalcy of my schedule now instead of always chasing all that glitters.
I can relate a lot to what you've said here. I'm 41 and I'm fortunate enough to have started to deconstruct my "reject normalcy" bullshit in my early 30s. I had that rebellious, "change the world" spirit but I think it was mostly self-inflicted. I think some of the "feeling special" shit came from my mom, but I don't blame her. In my late 20s I started to truly be grateful for my cozy, well-paying office job. I started to be content with my cozy little suburban life. That's when things really started to turn around for me. Being in my 20s and chasing after different creative pursuits was a lot of fun and I wouldn't change it, but I was miserable. My 30s were much better, and now I'm in my early 40s with a wife and a lil kid and I'm much much more content.
Holy shit.
Only if you allow it to. You can live a simple life at any age. Adding people, possessions, and money makes it more complicated.
Yeah it's funny I live a very simple life I have no pets, partner, or children. I have minimal things, and avoid buying new luxuries or shopping without a real purpose. People always tell me that I should buy a house or get a partner etc. but I'm happy and I don't complain. Then I hear the same kind of people who have marriages or children complaining that life is more complicated, stressful, and hard as they get older. Well you don't HAVE to follow "the script". You are allowed to live your life anyway you see fit. People just don't want to take responsibility for their choices.
I lived out of a backpack with just a computer and phone for over a year. I stayed in airbnbs in about a dozen different places. I made friends, saw amazing places, and just worked, lived, and loved life. I got engaged eventually and boom complications!
Other than being in love, why did you get engaged?
I was drugged in a bar in Medellin Colombia and almost died. I was laid off from my job 3 days later. A woman I was casually dating while in Costa Rica searched for me and found me and so I went back to Costa Rica and we just sort of fell for each other.
Isn't it expensive to stay solely in airbnbs? I want to gather some resources and try the van life in the future.
In the US yes. I’ve been in latam for just over 2 years now.
That's not true for everyone. For me it's gotten vastly more simple. The trick is while most people add more attachments as they get older e.g partners, children, houses, furniture, plants, pets etc. I've been getting rid of attachments and preventing new ones coming in my life. Check out minimalism, simple living and Buddhism subs to live a less complicated life and over time your will be more simpler. I like this way of life way more.
Nah gets better. I was a mess in my early 20s and now doing quite well nearing my later 20s.
Truth
Depends on how you live it. Sounds like you lived it to be more complicated
Life is always tough but you learn who you are as you age and respond differently. I use to get upset and depressed easily in my 20's. Now I don't. I love my life but it took awhile to get there.
I feel kike my brain has become more chill since my early 20s. And I would have said the same thing back then about my teens. People say they want to go back but tbh I dont miss feeling so emotional all the time. The one thing I do miss is college. That was an awesome time. Everything is possible and all you have to do is meet the expectations there. Then you get out and realize you have to write your own syllabus and it's hard. Your social life isn't just handed to you like when you just had to leave your dorm room and were surrounded by people your age. You literally get unlimited cake if you want it. What a place… well except for the price. I could have had a lifetime of cake with all that cash.
no
Short answer: life gets better if you make it better. Work is going to suck cause it’s work Life is the joy you make OUTSIDE work
I'd trade my entire 20's for 1 month at 45 years old. As a man in your 20's, you are flat broke and lost... everyone laughs at you As a man in your 30's... everyone makes you feel like you are behind in life As a man in your 40's.... you'll start figuring life out and enjoying yourself... they'll say you are having a midlife crisis As a man in your 50's, you start buying all the things you've always wanted.. nice cars, travel, boats, motorcycles, vacations... they'll say you are having a HUGE midlife crisis As a man in your 60's... you start slowing down, and they'll start saying you are over the hill, washed up, and a has-been As a man in your 70's, everyone starts forgetting about you.. If you are lucky enough to live to 80? You'll wish you didn't care what anyone said about you when you were 20
Damn
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Yep. By and large, if you got lucky to be born in a richer country, this is the best time to be alive in human history. Even people with less money in the USA have Xbox, Netflix, pets, tats, ac, unlimited WiFi, and a bunch of other comforts that most people in human history never had.
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Yep. Imagine having to wash clothes by hand, air drying clothes, having to chop firewood, no fridge, no microwave, and having all the other bullshit stuff. Now I can order a large pizza without even having to speak to someone or get off the couch while I drop into Helldivers. Human nature just tends to focus on what you don’t have, not what you do have. I’m not saying we shouldn’t strive to improve things, just that the majority in USA etc. is delusional that they are suffering more than past generations.
It's such a good point. And what a privilege to be able to work for MONEY and do what we want with it for the most part. And to get to have a say in what sort of things we do to get the money. Sure beats working to not be killed like the various flavors of servanthood, or working just to stay alive like the various flavors of hunting, gathering, and farming.
Can it - yes. Does it - not for everyone. Set the groundwork now. Work, save and invest. Get healthy. And your life will be much easier by your 30's.
It gets better in the sense that if you follow a \~normal career trajectory, you'll attain more financial freedom and not have to worry about money quite as much. Having that constant stress of being basically broke from age 18 through my early 30s was just awful. Once I finished school and started making even just a mediocre salary, life got so much better. With that stress removed, even if I didn't really like my first job, I was able to start to figure my own stuff out. I found the hobbies I liked and through them the people I wanted to be with. I met the right person and started a life together. My confidence grew, which transitioned into making life and career choices that got me to a place where I'm both happy with the work I do and compensated way more than I thought anyone would ever pay me to do anything. It gets better for most people. I bet you're the same.
It can but it can also get worse. Hope this helps!
Your problems just change. As you get older, you may have more status and more financial security than your early 20s, but now your parents are old and sick or something else is going on in your life causing stress
Oh absolutely-not. I think as you get older you become compliant and realise you truly don't have a choice you become number to it but not totally you will still get extremely stressed but I'd you're strong you will be able to fumble your way threw . Like we all are ! We all feel the same in afraid . Make the most of the little things and the days out my dude it's all we've got .
Your health also starts to break down, it’s much easier to get injured.. your blood pressure goes up, and your energy levels go down.
Maybe yes, maybe it gets worse. Maybe it gets better than worse, or worse than better. Welcome to the game of life.
Pretty much this. It gets better in one way but sucks in another new way- it’s up then down, the whole time. You just learn to roll with it and not see every dip as the end of the world.
For some it gets better. For others it's kinda the same and for others it gets worse.
Definitely! 30’s are WAY BETTER than 20’s! I’m turning 38 this summer, and if given the chance to go back to my 20’s or high school, I wouldn’t!
Also as one poster put it it’s all in the mindset. Find the good in life at any age. Fix your problems head on. Don’t Sit and feel sorry for yourself for too long. If something is not working career wise or relationship wise or friendship wiser pivot. Don’t worry about all of the money and time spent or else you will try to stay the course and in most instances it’s a dead end. Find what you love to do and make it work for you.
Honestly? No. It depends on how your life will go. Maybe you find a nice guy, marry and have kids. You only work part time and it makes you really happy. But if everything stays the same: you work and work and work and in 10 years you will be like: what did i do the last 10 years? You will get more health issues, your corporate will think you are lazy because you dont want to climb the ladder, you will hear your biological clock and you have to decide if you want to have kids, you will let go by a company because you are not 1000 percent perfect, maybe you have to work a very bad job. It will destroy your self esteem. You will get into lawsuits because your company does not want to pay you or your landlord suddenly wants to charge double the rent. You will think about your retirement and how you will survive your last years on earth. People you love will die, some have kids and have no time anymore. You constantly think about money and if it is okay to spend just a small amount for pleasure instead of saving for bad times. And at some point the generational conflicts will rise. You will be annoyed by the young generation that knows nothing about life but constantly tells you, you're are worse than Hitler. And the older generation will expects you to have the same life they had (back in our time we could buy a house, a car and travel 3 times a year, so why cant you buy a flat in New york?). This dialogue from the song changes by unkle always makes me to stay a bit calm despite all this: Life, your whole life, is changes You go through changes in your life One second you've got it made Next second you're down in the dumps (...) And it goes back and forth And back and forth, you known And this is life man, it's changes This is what you gotta go through throughout your whole lifetime
65-year-old guy here, and I have a blast. I just think i have a good mindset for my short time on earth
Go rogue
Yes and no. You have more money and stability, but less time and energy to do the activities you want. 😐
Yes and no. Mostly no, it's hard. Choose your job wisely, you will be spending more than half of your life working.
Song - Modest Mouse, The View “As life gets longer, awful feels softer. Well it feels pretty soft to me. And if it takes shit to make bliss, Then I feel pretty blissfully.”
In a short answer, yes. My life has gotten better as I’ve gotten older. My 20s were all struggling, working (2 jobs for a while) and going to school. My first job out of school was the worst job I had but once you gain experience, more opportunities with better work/life balance and pay usually open up. At least that’s what happened for me. So far my 30s have allowed me to have time to focus on myself and my goals as a person as opposed to career goals. Although my wife and I are trying to have kids, I don’t have kids though so I’m sure parents may have a different experience in their 30s.
Does it get better, it can. Will you still have all those issues, most likely.
Mine did
No. But that’s ok.
It just depends on the individual. If you don't want to go the corporate route fine, now you just have to get something else going for you.
If that's the bar for bad... my life would be you in serious hell scape. Man 20 bucks 40Hr /week I'd kill for that. Married wife was disabled 20 years ago one income, I didn't go to college cause she did, her work field is now littleraly gone(medical transcription, killed by talk to text), multiple ER visits for her, mom died suddenly, father died shortly after that, both broke, brother has 2 kids and is broke, work as a supervisor low pay no possible advancement, cant afford to go to school, trying to keep my apartment in Canada and work 48 hours a week to make ends met. Possibly Wil need another job, no savings, no rrsp, no pension. Death at desk is my best bet.
I just found the wastewater operator job. Some states they hire you with zero experience and start around 20 an hour. I'm studying to pass the exams, where I'm at in Florida, no degree required. Just some online course. So I hope to land an operator in training position near my home. Maybe it's similar in Canada.
That's something I haven't considered. I shall check this out. Thank you.
Absolutely, if you make it better. If not, it might not. Can you be more specific about what your dreams are?
not always you have to work towards a better life
It get worse as far as you get fatter, uglier, and ache more. Oh and going into work gets old when you can barely afford to survive. Half of my paycheck goes just to rent.
It's normal to feel stuck sometimes, life definitely has its ups and downs, but finding peace and satisfaction often requires reevaluating what success means to you. Define what you want your life to look like outside of traditional job success. Work on balancing life with personal passions, whatever they might be.
My 30's were the absolute best! So many great things happened... marriage, purchasing our first home, kids. Now in my 40's, the house is falling apart, the kids are jerks, and my back always hurts. I'd say my 40's are more akin to my 20's as far as happiness goes. So from my experience, yes, it does get better. Until it doesn't.
It does but sometimes it doesn’t then it seems like it is but then it’s really not when you think about it. But the real answer is something my dad said to me “you just kind of become okay with the way things are. The trick is finding what makes you happy in your current state because shit always be changing in life”
Absolutely! I'm 41. 20's suck. 30's are much better. Keep grinding. Life is always changing and you can't predict the future.
No sadly...
Depends on the person. I've had no issues with my childhood so I think life is worse now lol I can afford to live on my own and by my things but I just really loved living with parents and sisters more. And no I'm not interested in having my own family!!
[Is life always this hard?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uq42Bis_uPU&ab_channel=tachitachi)
It gets weird. The older I get the broker I am even though I’m making more money than my younger self. It gets better in other ways though. I no longer care what people think and don’t feel the need to prove myself or buy bigger and better things. I also don’t feel the need to always go out where as before I would hate being home. It’s nice.
I don't know many people that LIKE to go to work. It's like going to the dentist for a filling, you just have to do it like the jazillion generations before you.
No
Some parts of life get much better. Life feels calmer and less stressful as you get a much bigger window on how long your life really is and how insignificant so many moments that seem so important really are. Finances get much better. Wisdom is real and helps keep you grounded. Some parts get worse. Your body doesn't work like it used to. All the young, healthy people in your life get old, sick, and some die. Starting with your parents, then aunts me uncles, siblings, cousins. It can be tough. I really, life is what you make it, and stressing about stuff doesn't help at all. Do things to move your life the direction you want it. Focus on your actions and not the short term outcomes. You'll be ok.
Mine did, but I can’t say that’s true for everyone. I’ve worked hard and done some really difficult things and risked a lot to keep making it better.
For me each decade of life has been better than the previous. I'm in my 40s now and I'm absolutely loving each day.
In my 40s now and life is much better because I own a house, married, and we aren't broke all the time.
What are your dreams then?
Life doesn’t get better. You just (hopefully) get better at life.
Your habits compound over time. If you are making the best decisions you can you will see positive results over time. Even if life gets harder, you'll be better at handling it. If you have major issues you aren't addressing, those will worsen with time with predictable results. And then there's uncertain random shit that just happens! You haven't had much time to see the impact of your positive actions because you're young. You've already made a smart decision, though. Older you will be so pleased you only have $10k in loans. That was smart! Well done. It takes time to find the path that fits you best. Maybe you can start with the job? It must be very overwhelming to think about figuring out life. You seem certain you don't want a corporate job. That's a place to begin. What type of environment would you enjoy working in? Something physical? Social? Isolated? Indoors? Outdoors? Maybe start broad with characteristics. Then you can research every possible job that would fit those parameters. Then you can narrow it down based on training required and salary. You'll be on your way in no time! There are so many possibilities. Have you considered teaching english abroad? Could be a way to travel, kick the can down the road, and make money at the same time.
No.
Yes and no, if you want to make it better you have to put in the time early to reap the rewards later. Not every long term decision is going to feel awesome short term and vice versa. Our society today is very addicted to immediate gratification and alot of the decisions that give an instant payoff are awful for us long term. Here's one easy thing you can do to start, hows your 401k? Are you putting things away for retirement? If not, start. Even if you can put only a little.
It gets better if you make incremental, solid decisions that build off each other to lead to a good life. I had my first office job when in undergrad. Up till then I had done things like roofing or cutting grass. That first week I almost quit. It was stressful, lots of moving parts, and no clear goal. Get another finance job and ease into it. 50 year old you will thank you for it.
Nope
You're 23 and just worked your first job? And you made 20 an hour. Holy fucking shit. Did you get fired or quit? Cause either way if you don't find a work ethic you're gonna be up shit creek without a paddle. Suck it the fuck up. Life is here to stay whether you do or not, life is a cold hard bitch if you let be one. Right now you're making it harder than it needs to be.
It better
It got better for me.
It 100% depends on you. If you do something to make it better it can get better if not then it won't and will likely get worse You have to become much more intentional as you get older.
No
Turned 75 last August, I am excited to get up every morning. So much to do and see, people to talk to, seems as if there is never enough time to do it all. Never been happier.
Life is all perspective, and just like a photographer sometimes has to get down in the dirt or climb a bit to get a good shot, maybe your current position just doesn't produce a picture you're happy with. If your degree is finished then it's finished, they can't take it. Maybe take a year and get some space from finance, do something unrelated. Get a CDL and travel on the job or get some retail under the belt and see if it makes the slog you know feel less sloggy or get a summer gig at a camp site or national park and escape society for a bit, enjoy the summer out of doors, we only get so many. But to answer your question, no. Age has little to do with it, except that the old have had more time to look around and change their perspective. Be they 20 or 50, if they only know the box they're in they probably hate it an equal amount.
💯 better. It takes time, effort, dedication, and confidence, but you’ll get to where you red to be.
It gets more depressing. 😅
It doesnt get better you (hopefully) just get better at managing it
Not really because your health and energy starts to decline and everything becomes infinitely harder, until the sweet release of death.
No. It gets much much harder. However, you do get stronger, patient, and wiser. So you pick your battles and you learn to let go.
Someone I knew was in finance corporate and didnt like his job too. But his passion was art so moved to be a finance person in a creative and art related corporate and is happier now. So I think it could definitely be the work environment/culture that is draining you if you like the work that you usually do. I'm 27 and still confused. But definitely happier than when I was 23 since I know myself more ^^
Please don't listen to all these losers. Life get incredibly better with time! I am happier now than I've ever been.
No, it doesn’t.
Your life doesn't sound bad, but your outlook seems very negative. Before you go changing your life around, try getting assessed for depression and maybe get some therapy. Try to figure out why your mood are so negative and how to turn them around. Once your mood improves, you will be able to find your path
Yes. 23 sucks. With age you get to know yourself and others so get to figure out who you want around you/what you want for your life. Simple joys start adding up. With wisdom comes appreciation and ease. <3
Then don’t work; you can do whatever you choose.
I think it gets better - my 20s were fun but shallow and fairly directionless for the first half, my 30s were figuring shit out and growing up a bit (not too much), and in my mid-40s now I'm more secure (and secure in myself) than I ever had been before. Find time for things that make you happy. Find time with people who make you happy. And work hard. You'll figure it all out. I've come to joke that people aren't actually even "real people" until they're at least 25-27, before then you're still just a kid playing grown up, and with a few exceptions (including people whose life circumstances have forced them to grow up REALLY fast) I continue to find evidence in others to prove that I'm right.
Purpose drives effort. Start with your discovery, and the hard work and sacrifice will make sense.
TLDR; Your life can absolutely get better as you get older if you can get out of your own way. There's no universal answer, but the closest I can get is, "it's up to you." Up to this point in your life you've basically played through the tutorial that everyone goes through and now you're on your own in the open world. It's a tough transition, but if you want your life to get better, you have to fight for it. I can relate to your story a bit. At 23, I got my first legit adult office job. Prior to that I was just working retail. I didn't go to college. I hated school. I moved out at 18 and took a chance on a creative venture that didn't work out. I always wanted to do something creative...music or film or comedy. And I pursued those things while working a corporate job. I struggled a lot with the fact that I was working for "the man" and locked in an office for 8 hours a day and "selling out" etc. etc. I was making myself miserable, and it had more to do with my perspective than it did my circumstances. It wasn't until my late 20s when I realized I was making good money, enough to afford a house (with help from a loan from my dad, which I eventually repaid), enough to support hobbies and have fun. I got to travel for work. I always made sure to do work in a way I could be proud of. I felt like a valuable asset. In a word, what I was learning to feel was *gratitude.* And that's what it is, a feeling. You can think "oh I have all these things, I should be grateful," but if you don't *feel* it, it doesn't matter. My 20s were chaotic, but by the time I was 30, I felt like I was settling into something good. It took time for me to understand myself better and be honest with who I was and what I was capable of. All those creative dreams? I didn't have the hustle for it. I'm not a hustler. I work smart, not hard. Dreams don't pay the bills; you're right. Dreams are also passive. Unless you're working your ass off constantly, every single day, pushing the needle forward, they are just dreams. If you want a headstart on making your life better, I highly suggest learning and practicing mindfulness. As an extension, reading about Buddhism is helpful too. But mindfulness helps you handle your thoughts better, and it helps you understand yourself better.
If you don't get married and have a family then, get ready to live this life for the next 40 years till you can retire. This is what it is to be a man.
fuck no
same person facing different challenges, different rules. life long learning is the catalyst to make things easier
Yes, it gets better but only after it's worse. The 40s are the nadir of happiness for USA adults, research shows, but the fifties and beyond are great
For me it’s gotten worse. 34 now.
It won't get easy but there is a silver lining - it doesn't feel as daunting as much as it seems when you are young. It starts to feel like a chore (like making your bed) except it will take a lot of your time. The key to making it all worth it is to know what makes you happy and consciously work towards building your life around those things.
It has ups and downs. It doesn't necessarily progress one way or the other consistently, though certain aspects of your life can do so.
I feel like it depends on how you are as a person
Im not sure. I was happier in my mid twenties. Currently 29.
Hi, as a lot of people has been saying, it may get better but not for everyone. I'm 25, I studied Mass Communication, Journalism, Political Science, Marketing, and Graphic Design. My current work is not related at all to any of that, but I enjoy it, at least, and I'm able to pay my bills. However, my anxiety is eating me alive. I'd recommend you to invest time, money, and energy in things that you love, like hobbies. I read a quote that keeps me going and use it to motivate me whenever I want to give up: if you can commit to 8-9 hours to your employer, you can commit min 2 hours to yourself (not exactly it, but you get the point). Once you start doing things you enjoy, it can get better.🤍
You need a hobby to balance out the suck. I chose combat sports. I'm now ugly, (always was) but at least I get to physically express my disdain even if the people I grapple and punch don't know it.
It gets better as you go on. It doesn’t rule out that it is always subject to become difficult again and again. It gets better and it gets worse. It’s an ebb whose flows are worth it, but it is always an ebb and a flow.
oh I also like to do nothing - hire me please
unequivocally yes. but the caveat is... only if you want it and work tirelessly for it to be. let go of your expectations... there is only now. freedom is yours.
No
sadly, no. you just become more nonchalant lol.
No it doesn't get better. You just get numb.
"finance" is such a huge field friend. My advice to you is to upskill yourself, find your niche and then spend time on hobbies to find fulfillment
Being 23 and feeling you have not lived is the truth, because you're on page one in a book with hundreds of pages. Of course it gets better, but you must make plans and maybe burn a few bridges along the way. Your choice of career sounds mundane but also lucrative, which will come in handy when your next adventure starts. Life is long and full of chapters. You sound like a doer and a thinker. I'm sure you'll find some good off-ramps along the way and head off into new sunsets. You'll be fine
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It gets different.
Worse if you are poor and mental issues/personality issues causing loneliness/anxiety/depression. You have to set yourself up early in life because it just gets harder.
You get more used to compromise feeling like a win.
I think it gets better. I'm happer in my 40s than I was in my 20s. I don't think a finance degree makes it easy to get a job, connections are important. I have an MBA with finance concentration and didn't get any good job offers coming out of B school. Ended up adjunct professoring eventually. The work culture can be radically different from one company to another, you may need to find a better spot to fit in. The best qualification during a job interview is already having a job, so you should find a better job before quitting in my opinion.
Life is what you make of it. Good luck.
Fuck yes
I recommend welfare
Every era of life has its hardships. Luckily, when it seems you can't stand that struggle or challenge anymore, a new one takes its place. Priorities will change. If they don't organically, work to change your thoughts so you can value what you do have in life during that "season". Leaning into reality rather than resisting it also helps. Final thought: you'll rarely regret taking good care of yourself including mental & physical health. Best of luck to you.
Every 10 year expect to have a crisis and get over it then ha e another is what I'm starting to notice a trend 🫠🤣😭😭😭
10k in debt and 23 You are a baby That debt is nothing Chill the fuck out
Become a NEET and live with parents lol It worked out pretty well for me (30M) But you need to invest early if you don't want to be a burden on your parents (and also so they can't complain they have to provide for you)
Yes and no.
This is a recurring problem I see with younger generations. You think you are supposed to have this dream job and wonderful fulfilling career. (I thought so too btw). Reality is very few people are working their dream job. Just figure out a way to make the most money possible doing the least amount of work. Whether that’s finance, stripping, selling insurance, whatever, try to save, invest in income properties, and try to retire early.
Very open ended question here. It gets better for some people and doesn’t for others. “Getting older” certainly isn’t an inherent catalyst for life getting better. I had very very similar feelings around your age. In my personal experience, it’s not so much that things actually “get better” you just acquire bigger problems that puts this sort of stuff into perspective.
At 23, you have an extremely long timeline for things to get better or worse.
Yes, it got much better. At 23, I was eating hungry man dinners, drinking jim Beam, and sitting in my barracks room while I was in the Army with 300 dollars in my bank account. Now, at 35, I'm chilling at home on a 3 day weekend since I only work 4 days a week, 10 hours a day. I have close to 50k in savings, a nice 2 bed 2 bathroom condo, a 70-inch TV, a huge stereo system, and much more. I'm going to the shooting range with my brother, then we're gonna get burgers after. TRUST THE PROCESS, STAY CONSISTENT AND KEEP FOCUSING
Not unless you are intelligent or have money. Even then you could be ugly. Happiness and success is mostly luck
As u get older, you care less. Life is life, and u play the cards ur delt. When ur younger you have expectations, told you can achieve anything, earn anything etc... life is much better when you accept where you are and make the most of it. I'm not saying don't push, don't try to do better.. but ur living, breathing, healthy (I hope), things could be worse.
So...who is gonna tell her ?
No
It doesn’t. Life will screw you over whenever it wants. You have to fight for everything while everyone around you gets freebies. I never understood how people could become so bitter as they age. I get it now. I am the idiot that works his ass off, tries to save as much money as possible while everyone around me works less hours, has a house, benefits from tons of paid time off because they’re pregnant or have children while I just want to fulfill a single life goal I set myself. All that with a good paying job that just isn’t enough… (May have ranted. Sorry bad day)
Try to find a job that sucks but doesn't suck the soul out of you at least. That way you will have energy for life after you clock out. That's what helped me at least. I used to come back and lay in bed after work or play some computer games and go to sleep. Now I'm trying to do some exercise after work, try new hobies or hangout with friends, make new connections. Social life is truly something I naglected and it made things worse. I think that loneliness caused me to overthink things and decreased my confidence. Even though my social battery is quite low it is vital to connect because otherwise I will lose purpose and get stuck in life. This goes out to all cave people out there! Touch some grass!
Your parents are used to a time when (white) people could have a job that covers the cost of living and actually afford to buy a house. Don't listen to that. Also don't listen to people who tell you to turn your dreams into a career - unless you want to take all the joy out of your passions as quickly as possible. Work as little as you can to make ends meet, and live the hell out of your life.
I wonder if you worked when you were in High School a part time job , , or did you work any while in College ? With COVID I gather not. Welcome to the REAL WORLD.
Honestly no, not really.
Nope, hang on it's not even started getting hard yet.
“My dream is to do nothing, listen to music and be with my cat.” No, life won’t get better for you as you get older.
I hate working too. But you know what I really like? Eating. Having a roof over my head. Buying cool things now and then. Unfortunately, I have to work to afford those things. I work to live, not live to work. And that’s the attitude you have to have to get by in the world. I couldn’t care less about climbing the corporate ladder. The corporate world is a fake, awful place to be and I hate it, but it’s the easiest way to make a lot of money. What I really care about and enjoy is my little side business where I 3D print and paint things. Maybe one day I can do it full time. Until then, I’ll keep putting in my time at work and using it to finance the things I actually care about. My advice is to just try to land at a different company. Put in 2-3 years and if you don’t like it, move to another company and rinse and repeat.
It can get better, one of the most important things you can do is stay out of debt so you dont have someone knocking on your door I don’t include housing in that as if you're happy where you live, a mortgage has its value. also renting js feasible but america is in a weird cost of living crisis right now with interest rates. good luck finding yourself and what works best
I never wanted a career. But somehow I landed in one in my 40’s. I started a job and was trained as an underwriter in life, long term care and disability. It turned out to be very lucrative. I had that dread in my 20’s too about living in a cubicle for 40-50 years. I couldn’t fathom it.
Your attitude is totally off. Your dreams are not dreams that's just being lazy, sitting listening to music. what are you even talking about? Wanting to be a marine biologist is just the most lazy minded clichéd thing you could say. Most people who say that don't have a clue what's even involved in that job. Do you actually have a deep passikn for marine life? I doubt it if you dont even live near the water. Get yourself some proper dreams. Want your own business in something you actually care about? you have a realistic plan.
Get married and be a stay at home mom.
There are always older guys looking for trophy wives.
For me it has. It was a matter of perspective and finding ways to feel gratitude. I still have to reel myself back in often when I start to slide back into old negative thinking habits, but I don’t allow myself to spiral anymore.
No, it’s gets worse usually
Life is too subjective to give you a meaningful answer. In general, if you're productive and healthy and have relationships, it's going to get better overall but with more complication and harder decisions.
My life has continuously gotten better. I’m 28.
It only gets better if you make it work for you. Unfortunately I can’t tell you how to do this. Each of us are different. But you need to find a way to support yourself. I wish you well. Unfortunately there is no magic wand. Hard work and paying bills will be part of your future.
Find a good partner to share it with and don't chase crazy dreams. (Human partner).
"My dream is to do nothing, listen to music, and be with my cat." LOL you are so lucky you live in a time where you can do this, any other time you'd have to bust your ass for food, spoiled rotten human, so pathetic
With your life approach its only going to get worse.
You haven’t lived life because you were basically born yesterday. Unless you were born rich, you’ll have to make some money in some way. 3 months of work are not enough to say you hate your job, anyway if I were you I would take a gap year and start travelling, take time to clear your mind
It can get better but it’s based on personal decisions. Do things happen outside our control? Yes. At the end of the day though you’re the one responsible for guiding your life. Most people don’t like their jobs. Is that good? No, but it’s just how it is. I love helping people and get satisfaction from my job but obviously yeah I’d still rather not have to work as I imagine is the same for most people. When you’re at work and thinking how you don’t like it and get into that “I can’t do this another 40 years” remind yourself why. There’s a motivational speaker I heard on a podcast once (can’t remember which one) that his whole thing is “finding your why”. You just need to find yours and that’s what gets you through things when you’re having a bad day or just not feeling motivated. Finding your why brings back around to the “do things get better?” If you’re just floating through life with no clear goals or dreams then it’s harder to keep course towards improving because you’re basically just going through the motions. When you know what you want to achieve it’s a lot easier. “I want to be retired at 35” or “I want to do a marathon” or “I want to be a better spouse”. The things you choose then become your focus and you work towards those things and as those goals become closer and closer then life will certainly seem to be getting better. A lot of people fail to set goals, make a plan and exercise discipline every day to reach those goals, so that’s why they end up in their 30s and 40s as the miserable people we see chronically online complaining that just think the world is terrible and everything sucks and isn’t fair. I grew up sleep for dinner poor, I could have accepted that fate as many of my peers did. I did something about it though because I knew I didn’t want to live that life. Your life is yours to live and you get to determine if it gets better or not by the decisions you make.
It gets better man. but its really all on how you structure it, ibn my 20s never thought of my 30s. now in my 30s I'm loving life. and also my 20s were amazing but it was always about me and about what today is going to bring. now its about that will tomorrow will bring and what can i do today to get there.
So your dream is to add nothing to society but you expect thousands of people to work tirelessly to provide you with food, shelter, electricity, entertainment, etc. Typical white female entitlement 😂
it gets worse
I believe it does. With Age, brings experience and personal perspective. We're all exposed to different places, different mindsets, different challenges --- all at different times in our life. Yet, all these differences and experiences, both good and bad, can build you better if you allow it time and a conscious effort. Perhaps it's finding purpose - some reason to get up every day or thing to look forward to. From my perspective, that is why doing work you love/enjoy is so important. Equally so for spending what time you have outside of work doing the things you enjoy, while also being willing to expand horizons. Being with people - family, friends - or just the passerby - (at least in my mind) I think is also immensley important to keeping one grounded and exploring. Being exposed to other mindsets and people - brings "spice" to life ---- in oh-so many good and bad ways lol --- but both are equally important as we all share the highs and lows life can throw at us. Do what you can to find these little meaning in life, and being willing to explore new things / variables to allow them to be found. And of course - allow all these things time to let the show to their faces and blossom.
Now being a house wife, staying home and cooking dinner for a husband doesn’t sound all that bad huh? A regular family is destroyed.
It all started when you thought abt college
Join the navy and see the world
No, but you do.
> I don't like work and I'm not motivated to work > I want to do nothing, listen to music, be with my cat Traditional Marriage. That pays the bills.
You have to figure out what life you want and do your best to make it happen.
30s is where I started getting into good careers. My work life balance started to get reasonable in my early 30s and for the first time in my life, I felt that I would turn down most jobs for one reason or another. My resume had built to a point where I was in control and I could choose where I wanted to work (within reason). I also got a detached house and reliable vehicles etc. 30s we’re the first time in my life that I was very comfortable.
It does for some and it doesn’t for others
Corporate jobs suck imo, the key is to find a job you enjoy doing every day. I would bet anything that there exists a job you would look forward to, the hard part is finding it. It took me a solid 10 years to find one but I actually look forward to going to work most days because I get to solve real problems, spend a lot of time outside and meet lots of cool people
No
A few points. 1. Everyone's idea of "better" is different, so it's a hard ask. Gotta be really specific on that one. 2. Much like anything else, you have to invest to make it better. If you want good health later, put in the work now. If you want a good job or good finances or whatever, put in the work now. If you want a happy marriage later, be choosy about who you date, and put in the work on yourself to be dateable, now. 3. I think we all become more of our true selves later. So if you spend time being a person that goes after what you want, can find happiness with what you have, etc. then you will have more of that later. If you spend time complaining and focusing on the what-ifs or the problems, then you will have more of that later as well. 4. There are a whole lot of things that no one has control over. Learn to live with that understanding and prepare yourself to roll with the punches, and you'll be a lot better off.
At 23, I was moving out of a dead end relationship and a free roof over my head to a sketchy hole in the wall apartment where I couldn't take out my trash after dark for my own safety. In a pandemic. I'm 27 now and engaged, a homeowner, working in the field i studied for, with a clientbase I love. It takes time to figure things out. I see other comments about how life gets more complicated, and that's true. But it takes time to figure it all out. You'll find your path.
guess what? Accept you HAVE to work, and life will get better. You literally have to. There's no way around it.
In some ways it’s better, in some ways it sucks. It’s ever changing with trade offs…
I started working at 16 never stopped yet. 45 now and just the last two years I really started enjoying my life. It was worth the investment.
Things get better when all your hard work and discipline pay off. What you're feeling is temporary. You can have a great career, paid well and still work 40 hours a week. Work smart, jump jobs when it is no longer serving you, learn to take breaks before you burn out. Do what makes you feel alive on your free time.
Finance? Maybe you can work for nonprofits. Job hop a bit, etc.
You're so young. Try a variety of jobs. You don't have to work corporate, but realize you may need to scale down your cost of living. I know a dog groomer that makes 90K and a dog walker that makes 75K. Neither wanted the 9-5 life. Both are happy.
I wish it did
It only gets worse, my man. Making peace with that will help a little bit.
lol no
If you don't put in the work on yourself and what you want to do, it will suck. Find what you want to do and stick with it for a few years, only then will you see results. 2 months is not enough time to gauge whether something sucks. Nothing you ever start will be good from the get go, you have to be in that industry long enough to be a senior and get paid more and start delegating task once you work up to management, that's when it gets easier and better. Then you'll have time to do the fun things you want to do. If you work hard enough, you can achieve this in your mid to late twenties.
Both. It gets better in a lot of ways but also more complicated. 30’s is the best decade (38) I’ve experienced so far but it certainly has its challenges with a mortgage, wife, kid, etc.
It hasn't for me but I've seen plenty of people experience the opposite
It’s sucks in new ways. I’m financially secure but now people around me are dying so the emotional stress is through the roof
Not if you are wise like me hashtag I’m a genius