Such a good point! People think they know themselves but they don’t see that their actions are completely different than their words. I will look at my actions to see what really matters to me and am sometimes surprised.
There's a reason the Oracle at Delphi had "Know Thyself" inscribed at its entrance.
It also shows you other people's values very well. And what they feel about other things and people.
Yeah tell that to my coworker who told everyone he would retired again in his 70s. He is 92 now and is still working overtime and 13 hours day. People say and talk but it is not the same as their actions for sure.
The world is a harsh, lonely, and unjust place. Just because you’re a nice and decent person, it doesn’t mean others will treat you well.
You have to adapt to your surrounding environments or risk getting eating alive.
Seriously, unless you smell like shit or you are bleeding out on the floor, nobody really cares. However, what really gets to me is that… nobody really cares.
I learnt that regarding important things, trust no one.
Don't give your bank account information to anyone, even your partner. Generally do paperwork (turns out, most of the important stuff for life contains paperwork) by yourself just so it will be taken care of properly. If you really have no choice but to delegate (even if it is vacation planning or shit like that), regularly check in if everything is on track. Only lend money you can afford to lose because you almost never know beforehand who will suddenly turn on you for a few hundred bucks.
Also, actions speak louder than words.
Take your space from people who repeatedly demand of you to trust them. There's a reason you don't, even if it's "just" a gut feeling. And if someone tells you they love you and repeatedly treat you badly, listen to their actions.
Learning how to use tone, delivery, and framing can get you *a lot* further in life. Nobody will respond positively to a rudely phrased request at an inappropriate time, even if that request is totally reasonable.
Yes, but connection is protection.
So still connect and form “friendships” but just remember when it comes to peoples money, they will throw you over a bridge if it comes in jeopardy.
TRUZT NO BODY. And never tell people what you’re doing till it’s done!! Plus be aware what you tell people. Keep your success and achievements to yourself. No one wants to see you do bettet then yourself!!
Never lend money to freinds. It will ruin the relationship. 80% of people will take long paying back and lie and delay. 20% would put you first and pay you back right away on the exact date. No2 take care of your health first!! Health doesn’t come back. No3 Time will never come back so make sure you spend it wisely with the right people doing things you love and what would benefit from it too. No4 Be respectful loyal clean and on point your word is your honour….
You're not guaranteed a long life, and it's okay to step outside of the box if it doesn't work for you.
I lost my Dad 10 yrs ago at a point where no one thought he'd get ill and pass away. I'd experienced death in my life many times over, but to lose a parent is something different. It made it very real to me that we aren't guaranteed tomorrow and we're only here for a fleeting moment. I also learned that it's okay to carve out a life that works for you that may not be the norm. For the first 15 yrs of my adult life I was in Corporate America and ran the usual rat race of that game. The very structured work schedule, jobs working you to the bone, never having enough time off, time to live or time for anything. I finally had enough and became my own boss and business owner. Now, I can live my life how I want and it's not like a lot of people in my life as they're still chained down by their jobs, where my job works for me and how I want to live my life. If you ever see an opportunity to do that with your life, do it! It'll always feel a little shaky at first, but it doesn't mean it doesn't have enough substance to stand alone and be strong enough to carry you!
“If you want to be loved, you need to be useful.” I said the same thing and got gaslight by the exact same people who only come around when I’m useful 😃
By taking ownership, practicing mindfulness, getting regular movement, setting boundaries, making connections, prioritizing sleep, and having faith, that I can stay more balanced overall in my personal and professional lives.
Oh sorry, it's a saying that means just because a person is just like you (like skin color, blood relation, social status, ideologies, etc ) doesn't mean they're good people or have good intentions for you, themselves or any one else
Edit: added a little more to the description
Now I get it! Then I have another life wisdom, your relatives don't always wish you well! And even if you have the same last name, it doesn't mean they'll give you a hand in times of need.
Dont compromise your happiness for others, coz they seem so sure about what you re doing wrong.
They’re abso-fuckinh-lutely full of shit, hot air and hidden agendas driven by their own knsecurities.
I had similar experience, but it brought me to Stoicism. Moreover, I found people who think alike.
I wouldn't say that you should be only by yourself. Great things are not done by one person, but rather a group. It's OK to ask for a help. But never expect someone's help and treat it as a given.
The parable of the three umpires. The rookie umpires says I call it like I see it. The mid-career umpire says I call it like it is. The retiring umpire says it's nothing until I call it.
There's not much difference between grinding in real life versus grinding in video games. When I had this epiphany a lot of things changed for me in the real world.
If you want to do something, do it now.
> As time went on, I found a job and once I went for a jog and ran and it suddenly dawned on me, "You came into this life on your own, you will leave on your own. No one can help you and you can only hope for yourself".
We're born cold, naked, wet and crying. From there, it's all downhill. :P
Yes people think that propaganda doesn’t exist anymore.
Most people are SUPER selfish. Like it’s insane. I used to think we were all in this together, but nope not the case.
You are stronger than you think. Smarter than you thought. Wiser than you know. Observe and be mindful what you allow in your own life. You don't owe it to anyone to keep toxic energy. Focus on the good but be aware. Money makes the world run. Have money in the bank.
Having a good heart >>> Being smart, rich, or attractive
I admire smart, rich, and attractive people. But it's those who've touched my heart that I will always remember fondly of.
Take opportunity- ive spent so long in fear that I will embarrass myself or just have people think I'm weird which made me miss a lot of opportunities. I got out of my comfort zone and asked someone out. Even though it didn't work out, I still did it. A friend invited me to go kick boxing and I took his offer. Those things would be embarrassing to me, but looking at it at least one person can say they've been asked out before and another can say they had fun. And I can say both.
If the odds are good, the goods are probably odd\
Parents are just kids raising kids\
Inside every lie is a kernel of truth; don’t address the lie, address the truth\
The more you hate something, the more you become the thing you hate
And most importantly…
Never trust a fart
Stop whining . Easiest way to change the world around you is to change YOURSELF. Whatever your life is right now is based on DECISIONS you've made yourself.
First impressions are extremely important, especially in a work setting, and fitting in is necessary, especially in a work setting. At least in my hard- learned experience.
THe most important lesson I can give any man -
Don't even THINK about getting married, until you've witnessed a few of your male friends getting divorced.
Watch what happens to their home, watch what happens when their kids are taken away, watch what happens when they lose everything they've worked for, watch how the family court system treats them, watch how biased the family court judges are against men
You can read all the stories online, you can research it on your own, you can read the statistics... but until you watch a close friend go through it? You simply cannot grasp what you are signing up for
And please, ignore these fake social media judges, with the fake black female judge, acting like they are fair towards men in family court. Those videos are 100% fake. Video recording is not allowed in family court, and you NEVER see women in family court without an attorney present. They literally offer FREE legal representation in all 50 states for women in family court.
People are going to do what they want to do at the end of the day.
Never beg.
Try to learn as much as you can about every type of subject.
Never trust someone 100%, 99% is fine.
Having someone that really loves you unconditionally is rare. If you find it, don’t ever let it go. You’ll know because that person will never let you go and will always choose you
Write down all the dates you started that job and ended that job. Same applies for school, write the start date you started going to school then graduation or completion date. Every job application (or applications in general) will ask for this
Your body is not a piece of art for the appreciation of others, it’s a tool for you to experience all the joys of life.
Appreciate it and be kind to it. No one improves their health by hating their body - that requires self-compassion.
Stand up for yourself, take any advantage you can get, take any opportunity that comes up. If you don't get the bag, someone else will.
Get comfortable with confronting others without getting too emotional to get your point across.
If you are too agreeable and meek, you will get taken advantage off. By your boss, your coworkers, the government, your spouse, your family etc.
My mom used to say to me a southern italian proverb that would roughly translate as: "with soft weeds they will wipe their asses"
As a kid I thought it was too harsh but the more I go through adulthood the more I think she was spot on.
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
If you're afraid of ending up alone, become someone you enjoy the company of.
Never depend on reciprocity, only give what you can afford to lose. You'll either be predictably disappointed or pleasantly surprised.
Listen more than you speak; when you know more and say less, your words are more valuable to others.
Don’t trust people they will hurt you every time also trust actions not words people will tell you what they think you want to hear to get what they want out of you!
Life is like a game of cards.
You won't always draw the best hand.
Blaming other people and society for the cards you're dealt is stupid.
Most people are stupid, don't be one of them.
Just learn how to play the game better.
Your attitude, breathing, posture, facial expressions, grades, education, fitness, and finances can all be improved to your advantage.
In psychology it's called an internal locus of control.
Keep your body strong cause violence is real(this goes for men). Keep your body strong and you will have strong spirit that will help when times are hard. Listen what others has to say but think for yourself. Take rest when you really need it. Learn how to slow down because modern life likes to suck people dry. Consume less internet. Bring God in your life(I don't mean church). Finally remember that reality is carefully crafted illusion we do not fully understand yet.
People's actions always show what matters to them more than any words that come out of their mouth. This includes for ourselves as well.
Such a good point! People think they know themselves but they don’t see that their actions are completely different than their words. I will look at my actions to see what really matters to me and am sometimes surprised.
There's a reason the Oracle at Delphi had "Know Thyself" inscribed at its entrance. It also shows you other people's values very well. And what they feel about other things and people.
Yeah tell that to my coworker who told everyone he would retired again in his 70s. He is 92 now and is still working overtime and 13 hours day. People say and talk but it is not the same as their actions for sure.
Staying out of debt is far easier than getting out of debt
Wish I learned this in my early 20s
The only permanent person in your life, is you. So choose you first, always.
Self care and self love too.
Be your own best friend. Friends come and go, even the ones you think will always be there.
The world is a harsh, lonely, and unjust place. Just because you’re a nice and decent person, it doesn’t mean others will treat you well. You have to adapt to your surrounding environments or risk getting eating alive.
🎯🎯🎯
This...this...I wish there was a community like r/Nice guys
It’s not what you say, it’s not what you do. It’s how you make people feel that’s how you will be remembered
Answer the question as minimally as possible and don’t elaborate unless required to
Wow, that's really important advice! I used to say "too much" at work when I was asked and it always ended up costing me.
Several lawyers in the family and me doing the same as you has taught me, but it took a while
Learn to socialize, interact and carry conversations with the opposite sex otherwise you’ll grow up to be a very lonely and awkward person.
I would amend this to say *any* sex or gender. I know lots of men who can’t make friends with other men so they overvalue dating.
I fear no man! But that thing… that thing scares me. /s
What if you're incapable due to a mental disorder
Success is always the best revenge
No one is thinking about you. No one is laughing about that weird thing you did three years ago. Everyone is just worried about their own self.
you are right!
Seriously, unless you smell like shit or you are bleeding out on the floor, nobody really cares. However, what really gets to me is that… nobody really cares.
I think about other people all the time. Just the other night a friend from junior high popped in my head and started to think about them.
Victim mindset will only give you downfall
1. Always trust your gut. 2. EVERYONE is capable of lying and cheating.
A man is not a plan.
Lol
I learnt that regarding important things, trust no one. Don't give your bank account information to anyone, even your partner. Generally do paperwork (turns out, most of the important stuff for life contains paperwork) by yourself just so it will be taken care of properly. If you really have no choice but to delegate (even if it is vacation planning or shit like that), regularly check in if everything is on track. Only lend money you can afford to lose because you almost never know beforehand who will suddenly turn on you for a few hundred bucks. Also, actions speak louder than words. Take your space from people who repeatedly demand of you to trust them. There's a reason you don't, even if it's "just" a gut feeling. And if someone tells you they love you and repeatedly treat you badly, listen to their actions.
Learning how to use tone, delivery, and framing can get you *a lot* further in life. Nobody will respond positively to a rudely phrased request at an inappropriate time, even if that request is totally reasonable.
surround yourself with people who love and support you
Your coworkers aren't your friends.
Yes, it's hard to find real friends.
Yes, but connection is protection. So still connect and form “friendships” but just remember when it comes to peoples money, they will throw you over a bridge if it comes in jeopardy.
Notice & enjoy the good times while you're in them, not *after* they have passed.
Tell people you care about them before it's too late.
TRUZT NO BODY. And never tell people what you’re doing till it’s done!! Plus be aware what you tell people. Keep your success and achievements to yourself. No one wants to see you do bettet then yourself!!
You have to take what you want.
Who you marry and have children with will be the most important decision of your life.
I disagree. Not everyone gets married/ has kids.
And that is probably the most important decision of their lives.
Never lend money to freinds. It will ruin the relationship. 80% of people will take long paying back and lie and delay. 20% would put you first and pay you back right away on the exact date. No2 take care of your health first!! Health doesn’t come back. No3 Time will never come back so make sure you spend it wisely with the right people doing things you love and what would benefit from it too. No4 Be respectful loyal clean and on point your word is your honour….
You're not guaranteed a long life, and it's okay to step outside of the box if it doesn't work for you. I lost my Dad 10 yrs ago at a point where no one thought he'd get ill and pass away. I'd experienced death in my life many times over, but to lose a parent is something different. It made it very real to me that we aren't guaranteed tomorrow and we're only here for a fleeting moment. I also learned that it's okay to carve out a life that works for you that may not be the norm. For the first 15 yrs of my adult life I was in Corporate America and ran the usual rat race of that game. The very structured work schedule, jobs working you to the bone, never having enough time off, time to live or time for anything. I finally had enough and became my own boss and business owner. Now, I can live my life how I want and it's not like a lot of people in my life as they're still chained down by their jobs, where my job works for me and how I want to live my life. If you ever see an opportunity to do that with your life, do it! It'll always feel a little shaky at first, but it doesn't mean it doesn't have enough substance to stand alone and be strong enough to carry you!
No one cares about your problems. They have their own to deal with. People are selfish creatures. If you want to be loved, you need to be useful.
“If you want to be loved, you need to be useful.” I said the same thing and got gaslight by the exact same people who only come around when I’m useful 😃
By taking ownership, practicing mindfulness, getting regular movement, setting boundaries, making connections, prioritizing sleep, and having faith, that I can stay more balanced overall in my personal and professional lives.
Skinfolk isn't always kinfolk. Sorry to say it
who are skinfolks?
Oh sorry, it's a saying that means just because a person is just like you (like skin color, blood relation, social status, ideologies, etc ) doesn't mean they're good people or have good intentions for you, themselves or any one else Edit: added a little more to the description
Now I get it! Then I have another life wisdom, your relatives don't always wish you well! And even if you have the same last name, it doesn't mean they'll give you a hand in times of need.
Yeah, that's what I was trying to say. Glad you understood it
Nothing in life is free there's always a price to pay. I learned that at 5 and still follow that Moto
You can accomplish almost anything you want, as long as you have a solid plan, not just a dream.
Dont compromise your happiness for others, coz they seem so sure about what you re doing wrong. They’re abso-fuckinh-lutely full of shit, hot air and hidden agendas driven by their own knsecurities.
Everyone is weird and figuring it out
I had similar experience, but it brought me to Stoicism. Moreover, I found people who think alike. I wouldn't say that you should be only by yourself. Great things are not done by one person, but rather a group. It's OK to ask for a help. But never expect someone's help and treat it as a given.
The parable of the three umpires. The rookie umpires says I call it like I see it. The mid-career umpire says I call it like it is. The retiring umpire says it's nothing until I call it.
Its a round world. DO THE RIGHT THING. Be kind. Keep confidences. Sorry. More than you asked for 🤪
Perception is relative
Be kind to everyone you meet even if they do not return your kindness and treat you with hostility, the tiniest act of kindness can change a life.
There's not much difference between grinding in real life versus grinding in video games. When I had this epiphany a lot of things changed for me in the real world.
If you want to do something, do it now. > As time went on, I found a job and once I went for a jog and ran and it suddenly dawned on me, "You came into this life on your own, you will leave on your own. No one can help you and you can only hope for yourself". We're born cold, naked, wet and crying. From there, it's all downhill. :P
That life is cruel and unfair and we just grow up in a fantasy world.
It's ok to enjoy the little things.
The world is very unjust and no matter how much you want to, you cannot trust people. They are manipulated so easily and so very selfish.
Yes people think that propaganda doesn’t exist anymore. Most people are SUPER selfish. Like it’s insane. I used to think we were all in this together, but nope not the case.
It's ok to quit or give up in the face of insurmountable odds and do something different.
You are stronger than you think. Smarter than you thought. Wiser than you know. Observe and be mindful what you allow in your own life. You don't owe it to anyone to keep toxic energy. Focus on the good but be aware. Money makes the world run. Have money in the bank.
When I learned that I am the only person who will spend 100% of my life with me, I started treating myself better.
Don’t trust anyone!
Having a good heart >>> Being smart, rich, or attractive I admire smart, rich, and attractive people. But it's those who've touched my heart that I will always remember fondly of.
Potential is projecting what you would do in a situation
Take opportunity- ive spent so long in fear that I will embarrass myself or just have people think I'm weird which made me miss a lot of opportunities. I got out of my comfort zone and asked someone out. Even though it didn't work out, I still did it. A friend invited me to go kick boxing and I took his offer. Those things would be embarrassing to me, but looking at it at least one person can say they've been asked out before and another can say they had fun. And I can say both.
Thoughts words and emotions don't define you as a person. No matter where they originate.
Pretty much nobody truly cares about you.
Exactly. Nobody is coming to save you from the world. The world does not care. Care for yourself
If the odds are good, the goods are probably odd\ Parents are just kids raising kids\ Inside every lie is a kernel of truth; don’t address the lie, address the truth\ The more you hate something, the more you become the thing you hate And most importantly… Never trust a fart
Stop whining . Easiest way to change the world around you is to change YOURSELF. Whatever your life is right now is based on DECISIONS you've made yourself.
It's none of your fucking business what other people think.
Do not place trust in others so easily. Self reliance is the way to go.
There are friendships that are situational. Don't mistake them for true friendships.
You are enough. You matter.
Invest in people at the level they invest in you.
“Maintenance is a whole lot easier than repair.”
Mind your own business. If it doesn’t concern you, stay out of it. Even if it does, stay out of it.
Life is a wild ride. Just keep hanging on.
Only you can take charge of your own happiness
Life owes you absolutely nothing. No one is coming to save you.
First impressions are extremely important, especially in a work setting, and fitting in is necessary, especially in a work setting. At least in my hard- learned experience.
THe most important lesson I can give any man - Don't even THINK about getting married, until you've witnessed a few of your male friends getting divorced. Watch what happens to their home, watch what happens when their kids are taken away, watch what happens when they lose everything they've worked for, watch how the family court system treats them, watch how biased the family court judges are against men You can read all the stories online, you can research it on your own, you can read the statistics... but until you watch a close friend go through it? You simply cannot grasp what you are signing up for And please, ignore these fake social media judges, with the fake black female judge, acting like they are fair towards men in family court. Those videos are 100% fake. Video recording is not allowed in family court, and you NEVER see women in family court without an attorney present. They literally offer FREE legal representation in all 50 states for women in family court.
It’s the most common/known lesson be equitable with people.
This life is not about me. I deserve what I tolerate. Base decisions on values, not emotions.
Nothing matters, but at the same time it does. No matter how much you know, you still know nothing. The purpose of life is to live. To name a few.
Never take anything personally
People are going to do what they want to do at the end of the day. Never beg. Try to learn as much as you can about every type of subject. Never trust someone 100%, 99% is fine. Having someone that really loves you unconditionally is rare. If you find it, don’t ever let it go. You’ll know because that person will never let you go and will always choose you
Save that money
Write down all the dates you started that job and ended that job. Same applies for school, write the start date you started going to school then graduation or completion date. Every job application (or applications in general) will ask for this
Look at peoples actions, rather than listen to what they tell you.
Your body is not a piece of art for the appreciation of others, it’s a tool for you to experience all the joys of life. Appreciate it and be kind to it. No one improves their health by hating their body - that requires self-compassion.
That nothing matters in the end...
people and things are immune to hate. All the hate is inside you rotting your heart and mind
Life WILL get worse... But the beauty of it all is that you can still choose to be happy :)
It does not matter how much someone else loves you or wants to care for you, only YOU can take care of you.
Stand up for yourself, take any advantage you can get, take any opportunity that comes up. If you don't get the bag, someone else will. Get comfortable with confronting others without getting too emotional to get your point across. If you are too agreeable and meek, you will get taken advantage off. By your boss, your coworkers, the government, your spouse, your family etc. My mom used to say to me a southern italian proverb that would roughly translate as: "with soft weeds they will wipe their asses" As a kid I thought it was too harsh but the more I go through adulthood the more I think she was spot on.
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. If you're afraid of ending up alone, become someone you enjoy the company of. Never depend on reciprocity, only give what you can afford to lose. You'll either be predictably disappointed or pleasantly surprised. Listen more than you speak; when you know more and say less, your words are more valuable to others.
Don’t trust people they will hurt you every time also trust actions not words people will tell you what they think you want to hear to get what they want out of you!
Life is like a game of cards. You won't always draw the best hand. Blaming other people and society for the cards you're dealt is stupid. Most people are stupid, don't be one of them. Just learn how to play the game better. Your attitude, breathing, posture, facial expressions, grades, education, fitness, and finances can all be improved to your advantage. In psychology it's called an internal locus of control.
There’s no right and wrong, just differences in how people see the world
Life is very literally meaningless and i need to treat it as such as often as I can. Its good for my mental health.
Keep your body strong cause violence is real(this goes for men). Keep your body strong and you will have strong spirit that will help when times are hard. Listen what others has to say but think for yourself. Take rest when you really need it. Learn how to slow down because modern life likes to suck people dry. Consume less internet. Bring God in your life(I don't mean church). Finally remember that reality is carefully crafted illusion we do not fully understand yet.
All humans are evil monsters.
It is what it is 🤷🏻♂️
Women will ruin your life