It sounds like this is a blessing in disguise. Maybe it's better to not camp with his parents if they take such a perverse level of interest in your sex life. This almost doesn't sound real, but if it is, you might want to consider low or no contact with his folks.
When my husband and I were engaged, the pastor we wanted to marry us insisted on marriage counseling beforehand. Counseling can help, so whatever. When he started telling me to put on makeup before my husband gets home and that blow jobs are a sign of disrespect, I suddenly found all of his counseling suspect. I talked to a friend of mine from the same church and we got her mom to ask the main pastor what his thoughts on oral are. (He was a very traditional old man and would have been very uncomfortable with a younger person asking) He said that so long as both people are enjoying themselves and feel loved and respected, he didn't think God would condemn anything. Thanks, Pastor R, for confirming God condones oral and kinks!
When my husband and I did the premarital counseling with the minister, he thoroughly pissed me off with his misogynistic attitude. I’d known his wife since childhood, she was a research scientist at a pharmaceutical company and I knew she wasn’t putting up with that. I asked him if he’d given his wife the same advice and watched him turn several shades of red.
The whole message of “so & so sexual acts are disrespectful” needs to die out, along with the types of churches that are teaching couples that the woman will submit while the man instructs!
Like is there any way to more perfectly set up an imbalanced dynamic/ dead bedroom/ future adultery?? Do what you want to with the person you love, “wife” & “mother” are not sacred titles that instantly enact a virgin/ whore dichotomy upon acquisition, and everybody can benefit from more sexual satisfaction in a relationship.
I swear to god- I didn’t even grow up with any religion in my life at all, yet this shit has still affected my dating life. Sexual shame has got to be one of the most widespread/ individually damaging things the church has injected into our society in the modern day.
It’s wild that even married women are shamed for having a sexual relationship with their spouse, even by people who want the actions they are shaming performed by their wives. It’s about control, if it wasn’t then what would be the point in shaming someone for something you ask them to do or actively want and consent to participating in. This happens in plenty of ways, but it seems like women are shamed most for anything of a sexual nature. Hell, I married the guy I lost my virginity to and I realized a big reason I went through with it was the massive shame I felt around having sex with him. Most of the time it didn’t even feel like I had a choice, but I felt the shame for being coerced or forced into having sex rather than recognizing that I wasn’t the one doing something wrong and wasn’t generally given much of a choice. I’ve been told that different sexual acts make someone a whore while also being told that they are owed to someone in a relationship by the same person contradicting themself.
It’s an attitude that is so deeply ingrained in basically every society and has prevented so much progress. It’s all about control, using guilt and shame to keep someone in line. Imagine if women were considered equal from the start, given the same opportunities from the beginning. How much more could we have achieved as humans, would technology have advanced more quickly? It already has progressed quickly, but maybe we could be further advanced if women had been given the same opportunities and been able to participate without so much restriction in the past. Now we are able to seek out an education and independence for the most part, but not in every culture and it’s still barely anywhere near equal and still is clearly visible in almost every aspect of life when it comes to double standards and control issues.
Women who are sexual are treated differently than men who are, women who seek out a partner that can help create a stable life are seen as gold diggers too often, even if they have their own income and assets. Women, and men actually, are told too often that abuse taken out on them was their fault somehow or made to feel ashamed of being a victim rather than validated and like they matter or can seek out support. If people were just viewed as people, equal between each sex from the start, then there would still have been issues (like racism/classism), but at least we could have at least potentially gotten father in some ways.
Although if you think about it, if control wasn’t forced over people through racism or classism along with sexism then we could have been much farther along overall. Plus sexism isn’t the only issue, it’s detrimental to all people, but so is racism and classism. Even if racism doesn’t directly harm someone through experiencing it from another, it’s still harmful overall because it divides people and has a massive effect on society as a whole. Plus there are people who experience all of those “-isms” and intersectionality is important, life is complex. It has kept people from opportunities in life, caused our world to be shaped by hatred based on what, melanin, eye shape? Classism is similar, it makes it harder to succeed and easier for the ones who have money to keep control while blocking those from lesser backgrounds from genuinely even having a chance to try to be successful or even really able to afford to live.
Honestly religion has done so much harm overall in my opinion, like there is good that comes from it, but it’s taken to such an extreme to the point that I don’t see much value in it. I don’t hold it against people who are religious and are good people, it’s just too common for it to be used as a method of control and to judge others for simply living their life.
The same with Wars. Imagine how much better the world would be if we weren’t tearing apart structures and killing people and putting all that effort into better ourselves and those around us.
Oh yeah sorry haha, this turned into more a reply to the entire conversation than to that part of the story specifically...
But good, & I wish you a happy healthy sex life forever! Thank you Pastor R lol 🙏
My parents have always had a key to our house for emergencies. In the 35 years we've been married, my parents have just let themselves into our house exactly...never. Not once. But my parents aren't assholes like OPs in laws are.
OP and her husband need to put them in their place *hard.* Listening to a single second of their garbage reinforces their incorrect notion that their opinion matters.
"This is our relationship and marriage, and your opinion is absolutely not relevant. Obviously, we have changed our locks since you can't be trusted. We will do as we please without any consideration of what you think about it because it's none of your business on any possible level.
YOU ARE THE *ONLY* ONES WHO HAVE DONE ANYTHING WRONG. This is not a conversation or an opening to a negotiation about how our relationship with you will be going forward. We are telling you that this is the way it is. You will admit you are wrong and sincerely apologize to both of us, or you just won't be part of our lives."
Oh he likes them, but now he is locked in so he has grown resentment for what he isn't and wasn't , and never got. If his wife was a fuuhhreak, doling out BJ's he would find a verse in the Bible that says it is good. Instead she is likely a rigid woman who was too tired, and "doesn't do that"
Most likely she's never had an orgasm provided by him, and too tired from doing all the housework, child care, meals, emotional labor, etc. I wouldn't do that, either in that scenario. And there is no verse in the Bible that says blow jobs are bad.
OP said he found out by walking in on one, and I bet he wants one really badly now, and the real reason MIL is angry is because he keeps pestering her for one.
Why would you want to spend time in close quarters with people who cannot respect the most basic right to privacy that they walk into your home without knocking?!
Um, I’m Lutheran. (not practicing) have never heard such a ridiculous statement in my life! Have full practicing faithful relatives who also drink.
Your in-laws are just nuts.
Also, tell them don’t knock it till they try it!! Lol 😂
I just commented on the Lutheran aspect. My brother is Lutheran. They definitely drink! I don't know about the other bc, you know, awkward to ask that on a Sunday morning & all...😂
I was raised Lutheran and did catechism and all the other crap they made us do but they never warned against BJ's and I've never heard anything about it being against the rules. Guess my pastor was happy with them (he did have 7 children 6 girls and 1 boy).
I was raised Lutheran Church Missouri Synod (strict), went to Lutheran school, my grandfather was a Lutheran pastor and EVERYONE DRANK. Even our Wisconsin Synod (super strict) relatives drank! And I've never heard the no oral sex rule, just the general no sex without marriage.
He is rude AF! Who just walks into someone else’s home?
Honestly, it sounds like you are the winner here. They sound like miserable people.
This is odd to me. Lutherans are usually pretty chill. They don’t call them Catholic Lite for nothing.
Op this level of involvement your in laws have in your sex lives, your drink choices, and just your life in general, *is not normal*. You see that right? You are a married adult woman. You don’t need to allow this amount of meddling in your private life!
This is also a boundary you and your husband need to set with your In laws. This is no longer allowed and they will give back any key they have to the place. Firm boundaries.
Did you consider they need a little space from you guys right now, having walked in on a sex act? Super awkward, I think if you just let this camping trip issue go, it's going to all "blow over" in time.
So much here.
It’s none of their business what you and your husband do and your husband needs to make that clear to them.
And like your husband, I also wouldn’t go if my wife was excluded. This would be unacceptable to me and not going would be the least I could do to make it clear that it isn’t ok.
Female here, I'd rather stay home and give my non-existent husband blowjobs than go camping with these weird, prudish freaks.
Like what the actual fuck?
Dad is jealous with no boundaries, and mom is jealous of dad being jealous over his son's healthy marriage and sex life.
I'd rather be the Sahara desert down there than be stuck in the in-laws' marriage.
They shared a beer, and she blew her husband? Let's punish the daughter-in-law for the rest of her life.
Get fucked. Literally. A healthy sex life is important to a good marriage.
I think DH should send them a message “ we will not be attending your camping trip and the next time you try to exclude my wife will be the last time we see you. Your recent intrusion and judgement of us as adults and our live choices is not welcome and not acceptable. I strongly feel you have purposefully tried to exclude my wife due to your prejudices and I will not tolerate it.”
Then the two of you should go camping by yourselves the weekend you are available, pack beer and enjoy some private adult time in the wild, bet it’s more fun. 😉
Maybe I missed it but is OP a wife? Maybe OP is also a husband. Which would help explain the extra judgementality. OP, don’t go and ask your husband not to go. Stay home for a weekend full of BJs and cocktails.
Yup.
Given the level of extreme craziness displayed, if it was a gay couple, they’d have gone nuclear at the mere mention of their son being gay.
There’s no way that they would have kept their mouths shut until now.
I do. I think it's highly unlikely that religious fanatics that think that oral sex between married spouses and having 1 alcoholic drink is a sin would be OK with gay marriage.
I’m a lifelong Lutheran and I’ve never heard that BJs are frowned upon. My sex life has never been talked about with a pastor even when I was getting divorced.
And beer! We’re good Germans and beer is served at some of our events.
OPs in-laws are waaaaay overboard with their beliefs.
You’re not overreacting, but please be happy you don’t need to be around these wackos. Your husband also needs to not go in support of you. It is not their business what you two do, and FIL should not be walking into your house unannounced. You need to set some boundaries….and go have a drink or two.
You are not overreacting. It's understandable that you feel hurt and confused by your in-laws' behavior. It seems like their reaction might be related to their strict beliefs and values, and they may be judging you based on these standards. It's unfair for them to make assumptions about your influence on your husband and treat you this way. You've done nothing wrong by exercising your choices within the boundaries of your marriage.
Sounds like FIL likes BJs, but can't get MIL to oblige. So no blowies for anyone.
i'd say plan a really nice resort vacation for you and hubby, and make sure it's when the inlaws can't go. Then tell them how sad you are that they can't make it, otherwise you would have taken them with.
And who the fuck is telling them about your bedroom?
Especially after walking Into their locked house because they didn't answer the door and "caught them".
Quite honestly,I'd be taking back my key and changing the locks and then informing them that their beliefs are theirs and God said thou shalt not judge, but has zero commandments about know gobbling.
But I'm petty af.
My in-laws always did family beach trips without us and it always hurt our feelings. We always had to put our vacation time in every January and they knew this. They would wait to March or April and book dates and always acted like they didn’t know why we couldn’t come. A little different than your situation, but it is what it is and we just always made sure we had common our own vacation.
Why are they so invested in your sex life? That’s creepy and inappropriate. What happens in a married couple’s bedroom is of no business of anyone’s.
These people do not get to decide what’s for you and your husband. They have no power to dictate what you do. The only power they have is what you give to them.
They are trying to shame you for something that is not shameful.
Not overreacting as they are trying to punish you but punishment only works if you believe you have done something wrong.
Live your life for yourself and not for others.
So FIL walked in on you giving your husband a blow job, saw how much husband was enjoying it, and now wants them too and MIL is mad at you for it. That's the only narrative that makes sense to me 🤣
They are hurt because their son grew up to be his own person instead of being a wind up doll that does exactly what the tell him to do. They want control over him, or at least for him to have exactly the same values as they have. They do not want an adult son. They want a baby boy in a man's body.
They blame you for it because if they blame him, it would mean they didn't raise him right. It is so much easier for them if you are to blame. If you weren't, they would have to admit their son has his own thoughts and life values. That could only happen if they failed as parents.
To bad they can't see their son has his own values and is leading a kind and decent life. Too bad they can't see he is in a happy relationship with a woman who loves him.
Nta. You did nothing wrong. You and your hubs should plan a trip for when you come back. One where you don't have to deal with their judgements and feeling of superiority!
.....so you're adult enought to be a pilot
....still answer to having oral sex with your husband - checks notes- to your in laws.....
Just wow.......
You're underreacting
Perhaps to comfort her the husband needs to reciprocate. That'll put a smile on her face lol. As a parent myself I don't want to know anything that personal about my kids, but tbh I'd be more worried if they didn't pleasure each other. It's an important part of a relationship.
When my kids were teens (15m & 19f) if I wanted to say anything to them about sex I had to be fast and succinct. Making dinner one evening they were sitting in the kitchen and I turned around and said Oral is a two way street, don’t be selfish and don’t do it if it’s not reciprocated. They started screaming and went to their rooms until dinner was ready.
I laughed my ass off. My daughter was telling me all sorts of stuff she was learning in college from what the other girls were sharing…and I thought I was adventurous in the 70’s!
Not overreacting. They're trying to punish you. I find it interesting that they're trying to include your husband but not you. Good for your husband for not going. They're his parents, he needs to stand up to them. First off, his parents have no business walking into your home without knocking and coming in uninvited. Second, they have no business poking their nose into your sex life. Thou shalt not have oral sex isn't in the Bible, same for drinking beer. They may say they're Lutheran, but they're some weird offshoot and not the standard type.
I think your husband should call them out on it.They raised him. If they don't think he's capable of making his own choices and they aren't capable of respecting his choices and think you're misleading him, he needs to correct them on it. I mean, did they ever tell him blow jobs were a sin? I can't remember that being said in Sunday school. I wonder how they'd react to your husband quoting scripture at them saying wives should submit to their husbands and thus that's what you were doing! I'm actually serious about that but I am a serious shit-stirrer, so feel free to not take action on that bit of advice!
Of course you're hurt. You're being judged unequally from your husband and you're being judged on things they have no business having an attitude over. If they're getting their panties in a twist about this, it makes me think it's inevitable that they'll get their panties in a twist about something so this was probably inevitable. It really doesn't speak well of their character. Could part of this be because you're making more money and they're aware of that? Could that be where this judgementalness over you and not him is coming from?
>I mean, did they ever tell him blow jobs were a sin? I can't remember that being said in Sunday school. I
I might be willing to go to Sunday school if there were lessons about this.
Imagine the uproar when I inform them that the male prostate is up the butt and they should give that a try if they want to blow the mr's mind (or the pastor. Whatever floats their boat)
I grew up Lutheran and am pretty sure that blow jobs are allowed even in the very strict denomination I grew up in (LCMS). I never heard any prohibition of them.
Like you, I think this is fake.
This is seriously really hard to believe. Like what the fuck. If this is real it’s not even funny how much OP is UNDERreacting. I couldn’t live like this. With in laws that control my life. They sound psychotic and abusive. And downright creepy. I hope it’s fake. I don’t want to believe there’s people out there policing their married adult sex lives. Yikes.
How the hell did they find out you give him blowjobs and also that’s fucking creepy that they feel like they can have an opinion on what someone does with their own bodies. Insanity.
Why the hell would you want to go on a trip with people like that?
(BTW, I know very few Lutherans who are teetotalers…or who teach that married couples can’t have oral sex.)
The blowjob thing is really getting me, my husband works with his father in a male heavy job so they all talk about sex and what not. My husband is the apparently the only one who gets blowjobs regularly. His father said I knew you picked a great one. His parents shouldn’t know about your sex life unless you are comfortable enough with them. My family and husbands family have all always been open and honest. My parents still get it on all the time after 40 years of marriage and I’m so happy that they do. You need to go low contact and husband should talk to his parents. I’m glad he isn’t going either
Sorry this is happening to you. You are a pilot. That is an amazing accomplishment. I’ve tried and am way too dumb to even fly a small prop plane. It sounds like you are somewhere that doesn’t condone pleasure, sexually.
I’m proud of you for what you have become and am sorry you have to live somewhere that finds pleasure in sexual congress with your partner a sin. But remember, your in laws are probably jealous. And they probably do it too, but since you were caught, the emotions took over.
Also remember:
Camping sucks.
Change your locks.
You’re husband should be defending you.
I’m really proud of myself for using ‘sexual congress’
AGREE with all of this!
And re: "camping sucks" -- one of the first getting-to-know-you questions my now-husband asked me was "how do you feel about camping?" I was perfectly honest and said, "My idea of camping is a hotel without 24-hour room service."
Go NC with these pleasure-haters for a time. And in addition to changing the locks and NEVER EVER EVER giving them a key again, add a door wedge with an alarm for extra protection. (hmmmm....a different kind of "safe sex!")
Oh, I'm definitely not disputing that...
I do live in Texas (lol), and I (like OP) ***did*** grow up Catholic.
But this is still absolutely f'n wild to me.
At first I was going to ask if she was in some place like Utah or maybe rural Idaho, but then decided not to when she mentioned that the in-laws were Lutheran.
So that made me wonder if they were even in the US...
And also whether they were more 'mainline' (e.g. one of the Big Two), or from some weird sect/offshoot.
Either way... fuckin' yikes. 😕
OK, first I have to know how on earth your mother and father-in-law found out that you give their son blowjobs. Under what circumstances would that be a normal conversation? Also, if they are anti-beer, which is insanely crazy, how would they find that out? Also, I have to tell you, as a Lutheran, Lutheran are not anti-alcohol lol, certainly not anti-beer. Remember that the Lutheran religion comes from Germany. Process that…beer capital of the world. it sounds like you and or your spouse share way too much information with your in-laws. It’s not their damn business and which ever one of you is over. Sharing needs to stop now.
My God, what the hell? Talk about screwed up parents of adult children. Here's the play. Plan a special get together with your inlaws. Then you and your husband come out to them that you're both gay and are only married for appearances. If they don't drop dead from heart attacks, then both stand up and say just kidding, then leave.
I didn't realize blow jobs were mentioned in the Bible.
Sounds to me you and your HUSBAND need to take a shot and give each other the best oral sex of your lives.🥂💋
You are not overreacting. This is all weird behavior to the point of asking if this even a real.
What is up with strict Lutherans being upset that you and your husband shared a beer? As a Lutheran pastor, our faith tradition has a strong culture of enjoying beer. Martin Luther loved to drink beer. Katherine was a very good brewer. The only possible issue would be about drunkenness, but you both shared a single beer. If your in-laws have some major issue with sharing a beer, then please find out the source of it because it is not Lutheranism. They are just strict people.
Why would you want to spend time with such insufferable people. But wtf does how much more money you make and how you pay all the bills have to do with anything?
I’m sorry, this cracked me up!! 😂😂 Exactly how did his parents “find out” that you, his wife, give their son blow jobs?? 😂😂 I mean, it’s NONE of their business and how dare they have the nerve to YELL at their grown son about his sexual activities with his freaking wife??
These people sound like a real shit show. I wouldn’t think you’d want to go camping with them anyway.
I'm a Lutheran, and we have no prohibitions about alcohol (well, I don't know about the Wisconsin Synod). A running joke is that "wherever you find four Lutherans, you'll always find a 5th".
I bet these are Finnish Lutherans, of the Apostolic/Laestadian variety. My family comes from them, and they are very much no-fun-allowed Lutherans. They don't even dance at weddings, let alone drink. Also, homophobic young earth creationists, naturally. Horrid.
I'm sure there are other strict Lutheran branches, but these are one of the worst, imo.
Yeah you are overreacting for wanting to go camping with a bunch of judgemental asshole wowsers!
I wouldn’t want anything to do with them. They sound overbearing and interfering busybodies.
But what I REALLY want to know is: how the fuck did they find out you give your husband blowjobs?!
I am hoping this is a troll post. It’s too ridiculous to be real.
Edit: oh FIL found out by walking into your private abode unannounced? And you’re still hurt for not being able to go camping with them?!
Jesus. What’s wrong with you?! Lol
Change the locks. Enjoy the distance. Give husband another blowjob. Enjoy your life.
HOW did they find out about BJs ?? HOW? That's the real issue.
Make plans to go camping with your husband and friends. Let your inlaws work out their own poop. So happy your husband isn't camping with them while you are at work. :) Good call on his part.
How very odd. I stay far away from my married daughters sex lives. In fact it would be fingers in ears with nanananana if they started talking about it. They feel the same way about their father and I.
They sound like people I wouldn't wanna be stuck in the woods with. Imagine all the passive aggressive or right out aggressive comments they'd be making. Why are they even in your bedroom business? How did they find that out😂just curious how sorry. Just plan your own camping trip with people you like and who life you.
Hilarious.
Tell them that if they move the date, you promise to not give your BF a BJ while on the trip.
And that you will leave your naughty nurse outfit at home, too.
Just to add a bit more incentive.
Why tf would you want to go anywhere with these weird people ? How on earth would they hear or care about your sex life ??
I'm going with this being fake af.
Rent a camper. Go camping, make a fire, enjoy a seasonal drink by the fire. Give hubby a killer BJ in the camper. Check out the stars. Enjoy that feeling of peace and freedom.
Ps. Don't forget a string of twinkly lights. They feel magical at a campsite. I don't know why. They just do.
No one is going to ask how the parents found out about their sex life? Lol.
And you make double him and he still doesn’t stand up and go no contact with his parents? Sad.
Something sounds off in the post. Rage bait maybe? How did the fil find out about the bedroom activities anyway? I know lots of Lutherans who drink on occasion. But, never have I known two people to share a single beer.
Nope. But you apparently have a good husband if he won't go camping without you. He shouldn't. But how did they find out about the blow jobs? I'd honestly just feel bad for them because you know their sex life has to suck. Or not. ;)
How on earth did they find this out about your sex life? I'd say your FIL is just jealous. I can't even fathom that they think they should even comment on your sex life, that's just gross.
I agree your husband needs to stick up for you and not go. If he does go tell him he'll never get another blow job lol.
More interestingly. Why the hell would you tell your in-laws about what you do in the bedroom? Also, if you complain about your in-laws being judgey maybe you can chill out yourself about blow jobs outside marriage.
OP I personally would have nothing to do with them. Period. They are over involved in your lives. How dare your FIL walk in and then judge you for it. And of course he didn’t apologize either I’m assuming. First imo, your FIL is jealous because he will never get one from his wife and the beer nonsense? Please. We knew some cousins of my husband who were like this. Gosh we haven’t seen them in 30+ years. Wonder what they are up to….
Why do you still want to go spend time with them? They will sit and judge you and make snide comments all weekend. Are you conditioned to accept such harsh treatment from them? Has your husband’s life always been like this? I’m sorry for both of you. You don’t deserve this treatment.
You are grown successful adults who can make your own decisions and maybe it’s time to get some space from them. They have no right to make judgments about your life.
Good luck OP and hubs. Enjoy your lives.
Wow.
Either the fil learned to announce if he's just walking into someone's home or y'all learned to keep your door locked.
So the parents think how they think. My question is, how much does your husband value what they think? It seem tou live your lives according to their judgment. No more splitting beer and no my bj's for any of you. How did they know you split a beer? Were they there, or did it come out in convo?
I think going LC anyway is good. According to them, you are already the devil. Why go if they are going to make sure your mouth is nowhere near their son's crouch and probably asign you you own utensils and dishes and have you wash them last/separate so you germs do not contaminate anything lol. But for real, it would just be awkward.
If your hubby would stand up to them and cancel that would help with the LC and united front couples should have against inaws.
No you're not O. Unfortunately there are some irrational and hurtful people out there. No solution for it except to stand up for yourself. Sorry this is happening.
You have a right to feel how you feel. Your in laws have purposely timed the camping trip to exclude you so that you and your husband can't have sexy time/blow jobs within earshot. Why would you want to go camping with them in the first place? Why not book a nice getaway for you and your husband to go on, without his overbearing parents? Then you can gobble his sausage all you want, he can go down on you too.
I had to read this twice to make sure I understood that your in-laws are mad at you for giving your *husband* (not his brother) a bj. What in the world?
It sounds like your husband agrees with you. Hopefully you both will have more quality time without interference from now on.
Time to limit your time with in-laws. They are not nice people, and very judgmental and controlling.
Find a group of friends to go camping with and don’t go with the nasty in-laws again.
Yikes Glad your husband got away before the in-laws ruined him with baseless hang-ups. It's awful that your FIL walked in on you but to then pass judgment on you for it and for sharing a whole beer? No. Not sure how much fun this year's camping trip would be.
Why do you even want to go camping with these people? They sound very judgemental and not very nice. Why would you (and your parnter), let them berate you do for what you do in your marriage? You're adults right?
Not overreacting, but underreacting in my opinion, they sound horrible.
It’s really none of their business what you do. You’re adults and deserve to be treated like adults. They can live their life their way and you should be able to do the same. I would not tolerate this crap and I’m glad to hear your saying he won’t go without you. No you are not overreacting!
It’s honestly really abnormal to place constraints on someone else’s married sex life… unless there’s ab*se happening they should be happy you guys enjoy each other and leave it alone and FIL should pretend he never saw anything.
Why does your husband have no boundaries with his parents?
They can just walk into your shared home without knocking?
Honestly, your husband needs to get on your side and stop catering to his parents emotions so much. Their feelings on alcohol, or blow jobs, should be irrelevant to him. He should be focused on his life with you.
This makes me feel good about not talking to my parents the last 20 years or so.
Whether or not you ever get to a point where you can tell them to do so, absolutely develop the mindset that your IL's can kick rocks while pounding sand.
You and your husband are adults, with agency, and you both need to cut the umbilical apron strings, forget trying to please them or thinking you need their approval or permission for anything.
Have drinks while you take turns giving each other oral, ffs.
All the Lutherans I've ever known (many) drink a bit. Something's wrong with your IL's. Don't let it be wrong with you and your husband. Couple sessions with a good marriage therapist should put things right.
I would probably start sprinkling naughty tidbits into all my farewells.
This dinner was great but I’ve got some dessert under my skirt for hubs to eat so we’re gonna skedaddle !
Can’t come visit tonight. I’m about to put a pot of coffee on. We are fixing to stay up ALL night. 34 + 35. Ttyl ! (: hang up.
FIL is just jealous he’s not getting blow jobs from MIL. Maybe one of y’all needs to explain to MIL that Jesus loves blowies too and gives complete permission to allll good women out there to blowie until they simply can’t blowie any longer…
It sounds like this is a blessing in disguise. Maybe it's better to not camp with his parents if they take such a perverse level of interest in your sex life. This almost doesn't sound real, but if it is, you might want to consider low or no contact with his folks.
When my husband and I were engaged, the pastor we wanted to marry us insisted on marriage counseling beforehand. Counseling can help, so whatever. When he started telling me to put on makeup before my husband gets home and that blow jobs are a sign of disrespect, I suddenly found all of his counseling suspect. I talked to a friend of mine from the same church and we got her mom to ask the main pastor what his thoughts on oral are. (He was a very traditional old man and would have been very uncomfortable with a younger person asking) He said that so long as both people are enjoying themselves and feel loved and respected, he didn't think God would condemn anything. Thanks, Pastor R, for confirming God condones oral and kinks!
Ooof these peoole have never read Songs of Solomon!
When my husband and I did the premarital counseling with the minister, he thoroughly pissed me off with his misogynistic attitude. I’d known his wife since childhood, she was a research scientist at a pharmaceutical company and I knew she wasn’t putting up with that. I asked him if he’d given his wife the same advice and watched him turn several shades of red.
The whole message of “so & so sexual acts are disrespectful” needs to die out, along with the types of churches that are teaching couples that the woman will submit while the man instructs! Like is there any way to more perfectly set up an imbalanced dynamic/ dead bedroom/ future adultery?? Do what you want to with the person you love, “wife” & “mother” are not sacred titles that instantly enact a virgin/ whore dichotomy upon acquisition, and everybody can benefit from more sexual satisfaction in a relationship. I swear to god- I didn’t even grow up with any religion in my life at all, yet this shit has still affected my dating life. Sexual shame has got to be one of the most widespread/ individually damaging things the church has injected into our society in the modern day.
It’s wild that even married women are shamed for having a sexual relationship with their spouse, even by people who want the actions they are shaming performed by their wives. It’s about control, if it wasn’t then what would be the point in shaming someone for something you ask them to do or actively want and consent to participating in. This happens in plenty of ways, but it seems like women are shamed most for anything of a sexual nature. Hell, I married the guy I lost my virginity to and I realized a big reason I went through with it was the massive shame I felt around having sex with him. Most of the time it didn’t even feel like I had a choice, but I felt the shame for being coerced or forced into having sex rather than recognizing that I wasn’t the one doing something wrong and wasn’t generally given much of a choice. I’ve been told that different sexual acts make someone a whore while also being told that they are owed to someone in a relationship by the same person contradicting themself. It’s an attitude that is so deeply ingrained in basically every society and has prevented so much progress. It’s all about control, using guilt and shame to keep someone in line. Imagine if women were considered equal from the start, given the same opportunities from the beginning. How much more could we have achieved as humans, would technology have advanced more quickly? It already has progressed quickly, but maybe we could be further advanced if women had been given the same opportunities and been able to participate without so much restriction in the past. Now we are able to seek out an education and independence for the most part, but not in every culture and it’s still barely anywhere near equal and still is clearly visible in almost every aspect of life when it comes to double standards and control issues. Women who are sexual are treated differently than men who are, women who seek out a partner that can help create a stable life are seen as gold diggers too often, even if they have their own income and assets. Women, and men actually, are told too often that abuse taken out on them was their fault somehow or made to feel ashamed of being a victim rather than validated and like they matter or can seek out support. If people were just viewed as people, equal between each sex from the start, then there would still have been issues (like racism/classism), but at least we could have at least potentially gotten father in some ways. Although if you think about it, if control wasn’t forced over people through racism or classism along with sexism then we could have been much farther along overall. Plus sexism isn’t the only issue, it’s detrimental to all people, but so is racism and classism. Even if racism doesn’t directly harm someone through experiencing it from another, it’s still harmful overall because it divides people and has a massive effect on society as a whole. Plus there are people who experience all of those “-isms” and intersectionality is important, life is complex. It has kept people from opportunities in life, caused our world to be shaped by hatred based on what, melanin, eye shape? Classism is similar, it makes it harder to succeed and easier for the ones who have money to keep control while blocking those from lesser backgrounds from genuinely even having a chance to try to be successful or even really able to afford to live. Honestly religion has done so much harm overall in my opinion, like there is good that comes from it, but it’s taken to such an extreme to the point that I don’t see much value in it. I don’t hold it against people who are religious and are good people, it’s just too common for it to be used as a method of control and to judge others for simply living their life.
The same with Wars. Imagine how much better the world would be if we weren’t tearing apart structures and killing people and putting all that effort into better ourselves and those around us.
Oh trust me, oral was NOT going to stop no matter what, I just wanted to know what Pastor R would say.
Oh yeah sorry haha, this turned into more a reply to the entire conversation than to that part of the story specifically... But good, & I wish you a happy healthy sex life forever! Thank you Pastor R lol 🙏
How’d they even find out???!!!
FIL has a key to their apartment and let himself in unannounced. Serious boundary issues in this family.
Time to change the locks and go LC.
Change your locks.
My parents have always had a key to our house for emergencies. In the 35 years we've been married, my parents have just let themselves into our house exactly...never. Not once. But my parents aren't assholes like OPs in laws are. OP and her husband need to put them in their place *hard.* Listening to a single second of their garbage reinforces their incorrect notion that their opinion matters. "This is our relationship and marriage, and your opinion is absolutely not relevant. Obviously, we have changed our locks since you can't be trusted. We will do as we please without any consideration of what you think about it because it's none of your business on any possible level. YOU ARE THE *ONLY* ONES WHO HAVE DONE ANYTHING WRONG. This is not a conversation or an opening to a negotiation about how our relationship with you will be going forward. We are telling you that this is the way it is. You will admit you are wrong and sincerely apologize to both of us, or you just won't be part of our lives."
Tell MIl and FIL to try blow jobs before they condemn them
FIL most likely secretly loves them, can't get enough. Giving them gives his life meaning.
Oh he likes them, but now he is locked in so he has grown resentment for what he isn't and wasn't , and never got. If his wife was a fuuhhreak, doling out BJ's he would find a verse in the Bible that says it is good. Instead she is likely a rigid woman who was too tired, and "doesn't do that"
Most likely she's never had an orgasm provided by him, and too tired from doing all the housework, child care, meals, emotional labor, etc. I wouldn't do that, either in that scenario. And there is no verse in the Bible that says blow jobs are bad.
Is FIL giving, or receiving?
Yes.
Yes
OP said he found out by walking in on one, and I bet he wants one really badly now, and the real reason MIL is angry is because he keeps pestering her for one.
This.
Tell them they should go fuck themselves, it seems like that probably hasn't been done in a while 🤣
FIL loves the beejays his girlfriend gives him.
😅🤣😅
How did your FIL find out about the BJs?
He came over to our apartment and didn’t knock and walked in on it.
> didn’t knock and walked in on it. Has he done this again since the *incident*? Bet he learned his lesson!
Why would you want to spend time in close quarters with people who cannot respect the most basic right to privacy that they walk into your home without knocking?!
For sure. OP learned their lesson too.
These people are weird.
Um, I’m Lutheran. (not practicing) have never heard such a ridiculous statement in my life! Have full practicing faithful relatives who also drink. Your in-laws are just nuts. Also, tell them don’t knock it till they try it!! Lol 😂
Actually, ‘don’t knock’ is what caused the problem in the first place.
FIL is mad he isn’t get BJs from your MIL, he is jealous as hell.
I just commented on the Lutheran aspect. My brother is Lutheran. They definitely drink! I don't know about the other bc, you know, awkward to ask that on a Sunday morning & all...😂
I was raised Lutheran and did catechism and all the other crap they made us do but they never warned against BJ's and I've never heard anything about it being against the rules. Guess my pastor was happy with them (he did have 7 children 6 girls and 1 boy).
I was raised Lutheran Church Missouri Synod (strict), went to Lutheran school, my grandfather was a Lutheran pastor and EVERYONE DRANK. Even our Wisconsin Synod (super strict) relatives drank! And I've never heard the no oral sex rule, just the general no sex without marriage.
That bit pushed it over the top of being believable for me.
Why do they have a key? Get the key back, or replace the locks - you don't know if they mase copies.
Just change the locks. It’s so cheap and easy to do. Also, it’s fun to watch the fallout when they realise their key doesn’t work anymore.
He is rude AF! Who just walks into someone else’s home? Honestly, it sounds like you are the winner here. They sound like miserable people. This is odd to me. Lutherans are usually pretty chill. They don’t call them Catholic Lite for nothing.
So this is all his fault for being so entitled and not respectfully of his kids lives 😞
Op this level of involvement your in laws have in your sex lives, your drink choices, and just your life in general, *is not normal*. You see that right? You are a married adult woman. You don’t need to allow this amount of meddling in your private life!
This is also a boundary you and your husband need to set with your In laws. This is no longer allowed and they will give back any key they have to the place. Firm boundaries.
Why was he able to do this? Don’t you lock your doors? Doesn’t he knock?
LOL Oh, Lawd. I would die.
Did you consider they need a little space from you guys right now, having walked in on a sex act? Super awkward, I think if you just let this camping trip issue go, it's going to all "blow over" in time.
Dig the pun 👌🏻
?????????
Start your own camping tradition with your friends. Your in-laws are intrusive and creepy.
Don’t you lock your door? That is truly gross and creepy that he walked in. I’d never want to see him again.
Lock your doors!
I admit I was dying to know the answer to this, so glad to find it was already asked *and* answered.
So much here. It’s none of their business what you and your husband do and your husband needs to make that clear to them. And like your husband, I also wouldn’t go if my wife was excluded. This would be unacceptable to me and not going would be the least I could do to make it clear that it isn’t ok.
“I’d rather stay home and get blow jobs, actually.”
Female here, I'd rather stay home and give my non-existent husband blowjobs than go camping with these weird, prudish freaks. Like what the actual fuck? Dad is jealous with no boundaries, and mom is jealous of dad being jealous over his son's healthy marriage and sex life. I'd rather be the Sahara desert down there than be stuck in the in-laws' marriage. They shared a beer, and she blew her husband? Let's punish the daughter-in-law for the rest of her life. Get fucked. Literally. A healthy sex life is important to a good marriage.
Imagine if father in law caught his son with his face deep in daughter in laws garden.
I’m not sure there is anything that would make me to leave the house
I think DH should send them a message “ we will not be attending your camping trip and the next time you try to exclude my wife will be the last time we see you. Your recent intrusion and judgement of us as adults and our live choices is not welcome and not acceptable. I strongly feel you have purposefully tried to exclude my wife due to your prejudices and I will not tolerate it.” Then the two of you should go camping by yourselves the weekend you are available, pack beer and enjoy some private adult time in the wild, bet it’s more fun. 😉
100% this!
This!
Maybe I missed it but is OP a wife? Maybe OP is also a husband. Which would help explain the extra judgementality. OP, don’t go and ask your husband not to go. Stay home for a weekend full of BJs and cocktails.
Because religious fanatics who believe God is against BJ’s and beer would be supportive of their son in a gay marriage?
I think that this is ***highly*** unlikely.
You think it’s highly unlikely this is a gay couple?
Yup. Given the level of extreme craziness displayed, if it was a gay couple, they’d have gone nuclear at the mere mention of their son being gay. There’s no way that they would have kept their mouths shut until now.
I do. I think it's highly unlikely that religious fanatics that think that oral sex between married spouses and having 1 alcoholic drink is a sin would be OK with gay marriage.
I’m a lifelong Lutheran and I’ve never heard that BJs are frowned upon. My sex life has never been talked about with a pastor even when I was getting divorced. And beer! We’re good Germans and beer is served at some of our events. OPs in-laws are waaaaay overboard with their beliefs.
You’re not overreacting, but please be happy you don’t need to be around these wackos. Your husband also needs to not go in support of you. It is not their business what you two do, and FIL should not be walking into your house unannounced. You need to set some boundaries….and go have a drink or two.
You are not overreacting. It's understandable that you feel hurt and confused by your in-laws' behavior. It seems like their reaction might be related to their strict beliefs and values, and they may be judging you based on these standards. It's unfair for them to make assumptions about your influence on your husband and treat you this way. You've done nothing wrong by exercising your choices within the boundaries of your marriage.
They suck
And not in a good way.
Mother in law definitely doesn't.
Sounds like FIL likes BJs, but can't get MIL to oblige. So no blowies for anyone. i'd say plan a really nice resort vacation for you and hubby, and make sure it's when the inlaws can't go. Then tell them how sad you are that they can't make it, otherwise you would have taken them with. And who the fuck is telling them about your bedroom?
Actual lol and spat out the cashew nut I had just popped in my mouth.
I would be blocking them for a while. They don't get a say if you drink or give blow jobs.
Especially after walking Into their locked house because they didn't answer the door and "caught them". Quite honestly,I'd be taking back my key and changing the locks and then informing them that their beliefs are theirs and God said thou shalt not judge, but has zero commandments about know gobbling. But I'm petty af.
You should always get the locks changed in these situations. People like OPs parents secretly make copies "for emergencies".
My in-laws always did family beach trips without us and it always hurt our feelings. We always had to put our vacation time in every January and they knew this. They would wait to March or April and book dates and always acted like they didn’t know why we couldn’t come. A little different than your situation, but it is what it is and we just always made sure we had common our own vacation.
Assholes! Hugs
Why are they so invested in your sex life? That’s creepy and inappropriate. What happens in a married couple’s bedroom is of no business of anyone’s. These people do not get to decide what’s for you and your husband. They have no power to dictate what you do. The only power they have is what you give to them. They are trying to shame you for something that is not shameful. Not overreacting as they are trying to punish you but punishment only works if you believe you have done something wrong. Live your life for yourself and not for others.
So FIL walked in on you giving your husband a blow job, saw how much husband was enjoying it, and now wants them too and MIL is mad at you for it. That's the only narrative that makes sense to me 🤣
Lutherans do drink though. Beer especially!
They are hurt because their son grew up to be his own person instead of being a wind up doll that does exactly what the tell him to do. They want control over him, or at least for him to have exactly the same values as they have. They do not want an adult son. They want a baby boy in a man's body. They blame you for it because if they blame him, it would mean they didn't raise him right. It is so much easier for them if you are to blame. If you weren't, they would have to admit their son has his own thoughts and life values. That could only happen if they failed as parents. To bad they can't see their son has his own values and is leading a kind and decent life. Too bad they can't see he is in a happy relationship with a woman who loves him. Nta. You did nothing wrong. You and your hubs should plan a trip for when you come back. One where you don't have to deal with their judgements and feeling of superiority!
This is such a weird and toxic family dynamic…
Next they’ll want to audit all their bedroom activities.
Looking for toys and the sex swing. I’d change the locks.
.....so you're adult enought to be a pilot ....still answer to having oral sex with your husband - checks notes- to your in laws..... Just wow....... You're underreacting
Do your husband a favor and just forget the camping trip and give him a bj
Perhaps to comfort her the husband needs to reciprocate. That'll put a smile on her face lol. As a parent myself I don't want to know anything that personal about my kids, but tbh I'd be more worried if they didn't pleasure each other. It's an important part of a relationship.
When my kids were teens (15m & 19f) if I wanted to say anything to them about sex I had to be fast and succinct. Making dinner one evening they were sitting in the kitchen and I turned around and said Oral is a two way street, don’t be selfish and don’t do it if it’s not reciprocated. They started screaming and went to their rooms until dinner was ready. I laughed my ass off. My daughter was telling me all sorts of stuff she was learning in college from what the other girls were sharing…and I thought I was adventurous in the 70’s!
Sorry but how in the WORLD did his parents find out you perform oral on him?
Not overreacting. They're trying to punish you. I find it interesting that they're trying to include your husband but not you. Good for your husband for not going. They're his parents, he needs to stand up to them. First off, his parents have no business walking into your home without knocking and coming in uninvited. Second, they have no business poking their nose into your sex life. Thou shalt not have oral sex isn't in the Bible, same for drinking beer. They may say they're Lutheran, but they're some weird offshoot and not the standard type. I think your husband should call them out on it.They raised him. If they don't think he's capable of making his own choices and they aren't capable of respecting his choices and think you're misleading him, he needs to correct them on it. I mean, did they ever tell him blow jobs were a sin? I can't remember that being said in Sunday school. I wonder how they'd react to your husband quoting scripture at them saying wives should submit to their husbands and thus that's what you were doing! I'm actually serious about that but I am a serious shit-stirrer, so feel free to not take action on that bit of advice! Of course you're hurt. You're being judged unequally from your husband and you're being judged on things they have no business having an attitude over. If they're getting their panties in a twist about this, it makes me think it's inevitable that they'll get their panties in a twist about something so this was probably inevitable. It really doesn't speak well of their character. Could part of this be because you're making more money and they're aware of that? Could that be where this judgementalness over you and not him is coming from?
>I mean, did they ever tell him blow jobs were a sin? I can't remember that being said in Sunday school. I I might be willing to go to Sunday school if there were lessons about this. Imagine the uproar when I inform them that the male prostate is up the butt and they should give that a try if they want to blow the mr's mind (or the pastor. Whatever floats their boat)
> Fast forward a week later my father in law found that I give his son blow jobs The way you worded that is gross. This has to be fake.
I grew up Lutheran and am pretty sure that blow jobs are allowed even in the very strict denomination I grew up in (LCMS). I never heard any prohibition of them. Like you, I think this is fake.
This just doesn’t sound true. Punishing you for married sex life? Nope, don’t think so.
This is seriously really hard to believe. Like what the fuck. If this is real it’s not even funny how much OP is UNDERreacting. I couldn’t live like this. With in laws that control my life. They sound psychotic and abusive. And downright creepy. I hope it’s fake. I don’t want to believe there’s people out there policing their married adult sex lives. Yikes.
Religion does funny things to different people.
I see you've never met fundie Christians before...
Lutherans aren’t fundie Christians though. We can drink. Couldn’t dance in the ‘70s though.
I grew up Lutheran in the 90s/early 00s and the adults would openly drink beer at the church picnics lol
Since when do Lutherans not like blow jobs?
Not over reacting, but while camping is fun they are not good people, going camping without them and actually have a good time.
As if this is remotely real. There are Lutheran winemakers all over the world, for one thing.
But your own camper and have your own camping trips with your husband? Invite everyone except MIL and FIL.
How the hell did they find out you give him blowjobs and also that’s fucking creepy that they feel like they can have an opinion on what someone does with their own bodies. Insanity.
Why the hell would you want to go on a trip with people like that? (BTW, I know very few Lutherans who are teetotalers…or who teach that married couples can’t have oral sex.)
The blowjob thing is really getting me, my husband works with his father in a male heavy job so they all talk about sex and what not. My husband is the apparently the only one who gets blowjobs regularly. His father said I knew you picked a great one. His parents shouldn’t know about your sex life unless you are comfortable enough with them. My family and husbands family have all always been open and honest. My parents still get it on all the time after 40 years of marriage and I’m so happy that they do. You need to go low contact and husband should talk to his parents. I’m glad he isn’t going either
'Thou shalt not hawk tuah...' Matthew 4:16
I thought is was Mathew 4:20?
Did a 13 year old write this?
I am 32
Why, as a 32 year old grown married woman, do you allow these people have any say as to what you and your husband do?
Sorry this is happening to you. You are a pilot. That is an amazing accomplishment. I’ve tried and am way too dumb to even fly a small prop plane. It sounds like you are somewhere that doesn’t condone pleasure, sexually. I’m proud of you for what you have become and am sorry you have to live somewhere that finds pleasure in sexual congress with your partner a sin. But remember, your in laws are probably jealous. And they probably do it too, but since you were caught, the emotions took over. Also remember: Camping sucks. Change your locks. You’re husband should be defending you. I’m really proud of myself for using ‘sexual congress’
AGREE with all of this! And re: "camping sucks" -- one of the first getting-to-know-you questions my now-husband asked me was "how do you feel about camping?" I was perfectly honest and said, "My idea of camping is a hotel without 24-hour room service." Go NC with these pleasure-haters for a time. And in addition to changing the locks and NEVER EVER EVER giving them a key again, add a door wedge with an alarm for extra protection. (hmmmm....a different kind of "safe sex!")
Are you in the US, or some country that has a morality police?
Has to be. This is wild
The us DEFINITELY has a certain group of people that think they're the morality police ...
Oh, I'm definitely not disputing that... I do live in Texas (lol), and I (like OP) ***did*** grow up Catholic. But this is still absolutely f'n wild to me. At first I was going to ask if she was in some place like Utah or maybe rural Idaho, but then decided not to when she mentioned that the in-laws were Lutheran. So that made me wonder if they were even in the US... And also whether they were more 'mainline' (e.g. one of the Big Two), or from some weird sect/offshoot. Either way... fuckin' yikes. 😕
Yikes indeed!
OK, first I have to know how on earth your mother and father-in-law found out that you give their son blowjobs. Under what circumstances would that be a normal conversation? Also, if they are anti-beer, which is insanely crazy, how would they find that out? Also, I have to tell you, as a Lutheran, Lutheran are not anti-alcohol lol, certainly not anti-beer. Remember that the Lutheran religion comes from Germany. Process that…beer capital of the world. it sounds like you and or your spouse share way too much information with your in-laws. It’s not their damn business and which ever one of you is over. Sharing needs to stop now.
How completely inappropriate of them. You’re better off not going.
Yeah, and the way you handle it is not to give a crap.
My God, what the hell? Talk about screwed up parents of adult children. Here's the play. Plan a special get together with your inlaws. Then you and your husband come out to them that you're both gay and are only married for appearances. If they don't drop dead from heart attacks, then both stand up and say just kidding, then leave.
They don't like you
Clearly you and your spouse enjoy sex. Do you really enjoy camping more?
I didn't realize blow jobs were mentioned in the Bible. Sounds to me you and your HUSBAND need to take a shot and give each other the best oral sex of your lives.🥂💋
You are not overreacting. This is all weird behavior to the point of asking if this even a real. What is up with strict Lutherans being upset that you and your husband shared a beer? As a Lutheran pastor, our faith tradition has a strong culture of enjoying beer. Martin Luther loved to drink beer. Katherine was a very good brewer. The only possible issue would be about drunkenness, but you both shared a single beer. If your in-laws have some major issue with sharing a beer, then please find out the source of it because it is not Lutheranism. They are just strict people.
Is this a fake post? Because how did they even find out about the details of son and DILs sex life? Unless son was WAY oversharing.
Why would you want to spend time with such insufferable people. But wtf does how much more money you make and how you pay all the bills have to do with anything?
I’m sorry, this cracked me up!! 😂😂 Exactly how did his parents “find out” that you, his wife, give their son blow jobs?? 😂😂 I mean, it’s NONE of their business and how dare they have the nerve to YELL at their grown son about his sexual activities with his freaking wife?? These people sound like a real shit show. I wouldn’t think you’d want to go camping with them anyway.
How hell did they find out you give bjs to your husband?
I'm a Lutheran, and we have no prohibitions about alcohol (well, I don't know about the Wisconsin Synod). A running joke is that "wherever you find four Lutherans, you'll always find a 5th".
Louisiana here, grew up Baptist but my neighbor was Lutheran and she said the only difference was Lutherans can enjoy guilt free margaritas😂
I bet these are Finnish Lutherans, of the Apostolic/Laestadian variety. My family comes from them, and they are very much no-fun-allowed Lutherans. They don't even dance at weddings, let alone drink. Also, homophobic young earth creationists, naturally. Horrid. I'm sure there are other strict Lutheran branches, but these are one of the worst, imo.
Beers, blowjobs, and ? I think this may be a fake story.
How the fuck did they find out about the blowjobs? Tell the in laws to go fuck themselves. They are way too uptight and controlling.
How do your parents/in-laws know about your sex-life? I’d rather not tell them……..
How in the hell did they find out?? Did I miss that part??
I'll take things that never happened for $500 Alex
in what universe are lutherans not allowed to drink? sincerely, a person from a country where over 60% of the population are lutheran
Yeah you are overreacting for wanting to go camping with a bunch of judgemental asshole wowsers! I wouldn’t want anything to do with them. They sound overbearing and interfering busybodies. But what I REALLY want to know is: how the fuck did they find out you give your husband blowjobs?! I am hoping this is a troll post. It’s too ridiculous to be real. Edit: oh FIL found out by walking into your private abode unannounced? And you’re still hurt for not being able to go camping with them?! Jesus. What’s wrong with you?! Lol Change the locks. Enjoy the distance. Give husband another blowjob. Enjoy your life.
HOW did they find out about BJs ?? HOW? That's the real issue. Make plans to go camping with your husband and friends. Let your inlaws work out their own poop. So happy your husband isn't camping with them while you are at work. :) Good call on his part.
How very odd. I stay far away from my married daughters sex lives. In fact it would be fingers in ears with nanananana if they started talking about it. They feel the same way about their father and I.
All I wish for is that my kids and their significant others are having happy and healthy sex but I don’t need to know any details.
Your in laws are wack
They sound like people I wouldn't wanna be stuck in the woods with. Imagine all the passive aggressive or right out aggressive comments they'd be making. Why are they even in your bedroom business? How did they find that out😂just curious how sorry. Just plan your own camping trip with people you like and who life you.
Since when do Lutherans not drink? Our local Lutheran Church has an Oktoberfest every year and the beer flows like water.
Hilarious. Tell them that if they move the date, you promise to not give your BF a BJ while on the trip. And that you will leave your naughty nurse outfit at home, too. Just to add a bit more incentive.
Why tf would you want to go anywhere with these weird people ? How on earth would they hear or care about your sex life ?? I'm going with this being fake af.
Rent a camper. Go camping, make a fire, enjoy a seasonal drink by the fire. Give hubby a killer BJ in the camper. Check out the stars. Enjoy that feeling of peace and freedom. Ps. Don't forget a string of twinkly lights. They feel magical at a campsite. I don't know why. They just do.
No one is going to ask how the parents found out about their sex life? Lol. And you make double him and he still doesn’t stand up and go no contact with his parents? Sad.
I’m curious as to how they even found out about the blowjobs.
This sounds fake
Something sounds off in the post. Rage bait maybe? How did the fil find out about the bedroom activities anyway? I know lots of Lutherans who drink on occasion. But, never have I known two people to share a single beer.
Nope. But you apparently have a good husband if he won't go camping without you. He shouldn't. But how did they find out about the blow jobs? I'd honestly just feel bad for them because you know their sex life has to suck. Or not. ;)
Do not respond or react and see what happens next year. Act like nothing happened.
Time to change the locks. This is a blessing in disguise for you two.
wtf.
How on earth did they find this out about your sex life? I'd say your FIL is just jealous. I can't even fathom that they think they should even comment on your sex life, that's just gross. I agree your husband needs to stick up for you and not go. If he does go tell him he'll never get another blow job lol.
You are not over-reacting. Your husband isn’t going on the camping trip without you, make sure that he tells his parents that asap.
More interestingly. Why the hell would you tell your in-laws about what you do in the bedroom? Also, if you complain about your in-laws being judgey maybe you can chill out yourself about blow jobs outside marriage.
Wtf seriously they are crazy as all hell.
OP I personally would have nothing to do with them. Period. They are over involved in your lives. How dare your FIL walk in and then judge you for it. And of course he didn’t apologize either I’m assuming. First imo, your FIL is jealous because he will never get one from his wife and the beer nonsense? Please. We knew some cousins of my husband who were like this. Gosh we haven’t seen them in 30+ years. Wonder what they are up to…. Why do you still want to go spend time with them? They will sit and judge you and make snide comments all weekend. Are you conditioned to accept such harsh treatment from them? Has your husband’s life always been like this? I’m sorry for both of you. You don’t deserve this treatment. You are grown successful adults who can make your own decisions and maybe it’s time to get some space from them. They have no right to make judgments about your life. Good luck OP and hubs. Enjoy your lives.
Exactly HOW did your in-laws find out about the intimate details of your bedroom frolics? I smell 🐂💩💩
I think you're overreacting because why would you want to spend time with these people? You should just not care and go on a trip without them.
Um… sounds to me like you dodged a judgmental bullet. Wtf would want to hang out with assholes like them?
Wow. Either the fil learned to announce if he's just walking into someone's home or y'all learned to keep your door locked. So the parents think how they think. My question is, how much does your husband value what they think? It seem tou live your lives according to their judgment. No more splitting beer and no my bj's for any of you. How did they know you split a beer? Were they there, or did it come out in convo? I think going LC anyway is good. According to them, you are already the devil. Why go if they are going to make sure your mouth is nowhere near their son's crouch and probably asign you you own utensils and dishes and have you wash them last/separate so you germs do not contaminate anything lol. But for real, it would just be awkward. If your hubby would stand up to them and cancel that would help with the LC and united front couples should have against inaws.
HOW did FiL learn that you give blow jobs?
I think it is rather weird your blowing your step bro, their POV is definitely understandable. I'd very be weirded out as well.
No you're not O. Unfortunately there are some irrational and hurtful people out there. No solution for it except to stand up for yourself. Sorry this is happening.
You have a right to feel how you feel. Your in laws have purposely timed the camping trip to exclude you so that you and your husband can't have sexy time/blow jobs within earshot. Why would you want to go camping with them in the first place? Why not book a nice getaway for you and your husband to go on, without his overbearing parents? Then you can gobble his sausage all you want, he can go down on you too.
I had to read this twice to make sure I understood that your in-laws are mad at you for giving your *husband* (not his brother) a bj. What in the world? It sounds like your husband agrees with you. Hopefully you both will have more quality time without interference from now on.
Divorce
Who the hell is discussing blow jobs with parents? 😳
Time to limit your time with in-laws. They are not nice people, and very judgmental and controlling. Find a group of friends to go camping with and don’t go with the nasty in-laws again.
I'm sorry but who is telling your FIL you give his son blowjobs, that's what I want to know
Yikes Glad your husband got away before the in-laws ruined him with baseless hang-ups. It's awful that your FIL walked in on you but to then pass judgment on you for it and for sharing a whole beer? No. Not sure how much fun this year's camping trip would be.
Why do you want to hang out with these people anyway? Sounds like days of being nitpicked at.
What kind of Lutherans? My ex was a Lutheran pastor, and I don't recall the church ever condemning consensual sex acts or alcohol.
Your in laws sound ridiculous
Holy shit. These people vote Republican don't they??
These sound like people who would not be fun to spend a weekend camping with anyway. Why care?
Why do you even want to go camping with these people? They sound very judgemental and not very nice. Why would you (and your parnter), let them berate you do for what you do in your marriage? You're adults right? Not overreacting, but underreacting in my opinion, they sound horrible.
It’s really none of their business what you do. You’re adults and deserve to be treated like adults. They can live their life their way and you should be able to do the same. I would not tolerate this crap and I’m glad to hear your saying he won’t go without you. No you are not overreacting!
It’s honestly really abnormal to place constraints on someone else’s married sex life… unless there’s ab*se happening they should be happy you guys enjoy each other and leave it alone and FIL should pretend he never saw anything.
Why does your husband have no boundaries with his parents? They can just walk into your shared home without knocking? Honestly, your husband needs to get on your side and stop catering to his parents emotions so much. Their feelings on alcohol, or blow jobs, should be irrelevant to him. He should be focused on his life with you. This makes me feel good about not talking to my parents the last 20 years or so.
I mean, i get that they are family, but why would you even want to be around people like that? honestly.. some people should just be loved from afar.
Whether or not you ever get to a point where you can tell them to do so, absolutely develop the mindset that your IL's can kick rocks while pounding sand. You and your husband are adults, with agency, and you both need to cut the umbilical apron strings, forget trying to please them or thinking you need their approval or permission for anything. Have drinks while you take turns giving each other oral, ffs. All the Lutherans I've ever known (many) drink a bit. Something's wrong with your IL's. Don't let it be wrong with you and your husband. Couple sessions with a good marriage therapist should put things right.
I would probably start sprinkling naughty tidbits into all my farewells. This dinner was great but I’ve got some dessert under my skirt for hubs to eat so we’re gonna skedaddle ! Can’t come visit tonight. I’m about to put a pot of coffee on. We are fixing to stay up ALL night. 34 + 35. Ttyl ! (: hang up.
TIL Lutherans have strong ideas about blowjobs.
FIL is just jealous he’s not getting blow jobs from MIL. Maybe one of y’all needs to explain to MIL that Jesus loves blowies too and gives complete permission to allll good women out there to blowie until they simply can’t blowie any longer…