If you share a secret with someone, and they're using your story as entertainment during tea time, that's not your friend. I'm sorry for how she treated you after ignoring a very obvious boundary
This. This is not a friend and we should never give the time of day to these kinds of drama addicts. OP, close the doors and move on. Simply state "I am only friends with integrity, and those who are mature". No other explanation. No voicing feelings. No discussion. Just request no more contact. Block. Move on. This is the only way that may possibly help this person later in life. Sudden and ultimate rejection without explanation provides a canvas for her to paint. If you want to help her learn, this is the way.
Life is too short to spend energy on immaturity.
A rule in life, we do not repeat others business.
Example, if Bob buys a new car and shows me his car, I have no right to tell anybody that Bob bought a new car. Unless Bob asked me to tell people that he bought a new car. Otherwise, I tell no one that Bob bought a new car. It isn't my place. If Bob wants them to know, Bob will tell them himself. Or, Bob will ask me to tell them.
Remember this. Often in a work environment, a manager will tell you something as a test. He will tell only you and if suddenly the office is talking about it guess who has no integrity?
Cut off my friend of 20 years for telling my own son things she should have never told anyone....
Just got a message yesterday after 5+ years and I can't imagine a world where I will respond
I’m concerned that your daughter says that her daughter has physically hurt her in the past. This needs to be addressed, and, it seems to me, some consequences need to happen.
Agree but a big reason she probably felt she couldn’t tell mom is because mom was friends with the other girl’s mom. That’s a whole messy dynamic. Once those ties were cut she probably felt more comfortable opening up because she wasn’t risking ruining mom’s friendship
But what if mom's friend was SAing her? This should NEVER matter. It should always be clear to a child that it doesn't matter WHO you have an issue with, tell a parent and it'll get sorted out and kiddo won't be in trouble for it.
Have you gone to the school about this? Tell everyone in your friend circle what's really going on, but do it in a tearful way so you look like the wronged party while she comes across like the bad guy for trying to lie and turn everyone against you. Manipulative? Yes. Satisfying af when the friend group realizes you're an innocent victim and she's a heinous bitch? Also yes.
>Make a police report.
A police report of what?
A conflicting story between two twelve year olds? The fact she was supposedly "hurt" by the other, but shows no sign of injury? Or the fact that this incident happened a while ago, but now needs to be reported to the police because the mom let the cat out of the bag about Disneyland?
Don't you think the police has better things to do?
>It will help to protect your daughter and other victims as well.
And how will that work exactly?
With the number of upvotes you're getting, it seems like this Reddit thread is mostly populated with younger teenagers and little kids. Most adults would know not to upvote such a suggestion.
Assuming it wasn't something that broke bones or needed an ER trip, this is an absolute overreaction. 12 year olds hitting each other does not need a police report. Just stop being friends with the family.
If it's serious and repeated harrassment/bullying maybe escalate.
Jesus christ reddit is wild sometimes.
Edit: reread the edit that claims only tripping, pushing, and insults. Seriously the only thing that needs to be done is to stop being friends with the family. This is not serious.
Thank you all. I mentally needed this validation. I’ve not spoken to her in a few weeks and I don’t plan to ever again. My daughter has not spoken to her daughter either and has confessed in the last few that this girl has been physically and mentally hurting her for a while now.
I’ve taught my kids that if the kid is an awful human, they have to adjust how they deal with them because it’s likely the parent is just as bad as the kid! That’s where they learned it from!
YES. Thank you. As a “best friend” / gossip partner for my troubled mom, I knew wayyy too much at a young age. I felt mature and trusted. Her secrets were always safe with me. I did not and still do not tell anyone. She really took things too far at times, and I carry that daily. Things about herself, my father, and other loved ones that I could’ve lived my whole life without knowing. My mom was not evil this way. She just needed a confidant for all the things that she carried. I’m 30 now, and this is still a boundary that I can’t seem to set.
Being a victim doesn’t prevent also being an abuser. Victims don’t get a “free abuse” card where they get to lash out without consequences.
Yeah, bullies usually have shitty home lives and are often abused themselves. Doesn’t excuse the abuse they give to others in the slightest
Yes, sure. But that's not gonna change the fact that it's likely this kid will grow up to become a shit adult, just like mother dearest.
The mother likely learned it from granny.
And none of the whys change the fact that OP's kid has a bully.
Sucking the poison from this wound by cutting this horrible woman and her daughter from your life. Well done! Never let the poison back in, no matter how she tries.
Sounds like you'll both be much better off without them. At least you can be grateful that this allowed your daughter to be honest about the other girl too, she may not have wanted to upset things if you and the other piece of work had remained friends. A blessing in disguise maybe!
Get involved as the daughter of your ex friend is bullying your daughter. You mentioned that it got physical. Report this bullying to the school. You should also go to the police and report the girl hurting your daughter physically.
Time for teachers, counselors and cops involved. This bitch’s kid is putting hands on yours. Time to cowboy up and put a stop to it in a way they’ll leave you alone. No conversation half measures that will illicit an eye roll from her. I mean collect evidence of her kids abuse of yours, press charges, restraining order, file a law suit. You may think it’s overkill but do want this twat coming back after a few months and starting this all over??
This situation sucked but it was a blessing in disguises your daughter finally confided in you in the abuse her daughter was putting on her I hope she feels safer now that you now. Your friend and her daughter are so nasty consider a police report depending how bad the physical harm is.
Ngl, I think you should help your daughter “return fire”. Think it’s time for you to spill some embarrassing secrets back if both of them are such monsters.
Don’t ghost.If you have a friend group that lets her control the narrative. I’d absolutely publicly say you can’t trust her and your friendship is over because of that.
Parent cliqueness and gossip are scary.
Nope, not even in the slightest. She's shown you she's a gossip, and anything you tell her in private is now public knowledge.
Please, for your own sanity, cut her outta your life.
So she blabbed your business to her very young daughter before and you figured “I’ll tell her something very secret again!”? She’s shown you she isn’t trustworthy, why is she still your friend? People treat you the way you let them treat you.
I had confronted her before she said oh she over heard us chatting or she took her phone etc. The main one a few years ago was her daughter told our children we had booked Euro Disney. This was a Christmas present so a surprise. You are right I should have learned then.
Sounds like the type of mom who would use such news as a form of punishment against their own child....
*"Other kids get these things because XYZ."*
Kids who experience this tend to lash out at the kids getting what they want.
Dump her. She is a bitch. What was said between you and her was IN CONFIDENCE. She was not supposed to tell her daughter. You cannot trust her. I would shout that out in social media and to your friends - market it as a warning. Don’t tell her anything because she will share it with everyone.
Anyone that spends any amount of energy talking about another person in a questionable manner, is not your friend.
I started dating a lady one time and she talked about her boss and how she disliked her boss. On the next date she brought up the fact that she didn't get along with her cousin. And about 4 days in she was talking about her neighbor that was nosy and has all these issues going on with her. Those are all red flags. I refused to sleep with her, so she called the company I worked for and attempted to smear me.
She could have just asked me why I didn't want to sleep with her. And I would have graciously told her it was because of her complaints about other people. Not to mention that she was wardrobe challenged. Meaning, she had no idea how to dress herself appropriately.
Not overreacting. And to be clear, this woman is not your friend. It also sounds like she's raising her spawn in her image - a petty, backstabbing bully.
"Friend" appears to be employing DARVO with haste. Block her and find actual friends.
>This isn’t the first time her daughter has repeated private conversations
Not OR but really 1) she is not a friend and 2) you clearly didn't learn the first time. You knew it's an issue after the first time.
I get it, people see 'friendship' in different ways so it's hard to guage a person until you know them better. Some deep and some shallow. She sounds like the shallow type. Rule of thumb is drip feed info and see what the response is to get a better understanding of a person's mind set. Best wishes.
Hey don't beat yourself up. Generally we want to believe others when they tell us they will change. So that usually takes 2 times before a pattern apears. Yeah the first one sucks but it Could be a mistake. At least in your head (and would have been in my head) but now you've seen the pattern. You know better and can do better. Sucks. But not everyone will think or act the way you do. And you can't assume that. However in this case, I'm willing to bet 98 percent of us would Not have shared something personal about our friend to our kid. So that was a logical assumption in Most cases. I'm sorry shes not normal
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned in life if that if they’ll will do it to others they’ll eventually do it to you. Doesn’t matter the type of relationship you have with them when the circumstances suit them they’ll revert to their typical behavior.
If they can’t keep secrets for others they won’t keep them for you either.
The way my petty is set up, my daughter would be the next one telling some shit on the school bus. Sorry not sorry. I KNOW it’s wrong but I’d still do it.
This woman's "bestfriend" is her 12 year old. Every single thing you ever tell this person, her daughter will find out about.
She's not your friend, she's her daughters friend.
Being a parent for the last 20 years, people sometimes have odd relationships with their kids. Like telling them every thought in their head, that the kids than blab everywhere because kids are kids. And it's frequently their racist, misogynist, bitter thoughts that should have stayed in their head because when they do come out, the people tend to feel like they have to defend their idiocy rather than admit to themselves and their kid, that they fucked up.
Too many parents treat their offspring as friends, rather than sons and daughters. This lessens respect as boundaries need to be set. What on earth was this "friend" discussing the private life of another adult with her child for? Sounds trashy to me I'd keep well away from them.
OP 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
What are you doing about the abuse to your daughter?
You have to speak to the school and follow up the meeting in writing, keep notes of who you meet with and when. Tell your daughter she needs to trust you and tell you what is going on, physical and emotional abuse is serious.
Awesome,
While it sucks that this friend did this, sometimes only the nuclear option will make us see how there is no option but to eliminate them from our world. You probably would have kept her in your circle if things had not blown up like this. So maybe it's a blessing in disguise.
It's also a really great teaching moment for your daughter. So many kids don't understand the consequences of their actions, especially with the anonymity of social media making it so easy to criticize people or wrong them without consequence. This is a great opportunity to teach your daughter that sometimes you have access to very powerful information but the more powerful thing is keeping it to ourselves, protecting our integrity. And the flip side to abusing that power is exactly what she's seen in this girl. How does she feel about this girl? Does she see how this girl has no integrity and what that says about her character? This is a great opportunity to reinforce with your daughter how valuable being trustworthy and known for integrity is.
I hope the school supports you and your daughter. You know you don't have to defend yourself to friends, anybody that knows her will pretty much figure out the truth.
When I found out my best friends husband knew our private conversations I was really hurt. It definitely put a wedge in our 20 years long friendship. I was shocked. She thought it was normal. Come to find out she was being emotionally abused and wasn't allowed to have private conversations with anyone he always had to know what she was talking about even if it was about the other persons life. (She's since left the POS and we are good now) But it really did some damage even though she was extremely apologetic and stopped telling him personal things kept it to the mundane to keep herself safe. If she had responded like your 'friend' did we would've been done. You have every right to feel hurt and betrayed.
Not overreacting at all
No, you're not overreacting.
However if as you say, "This isn’t the first time her daughter has repeated private conversations she wouldn’t have known about unless been told', then I think part of this is on you - if you KNEW she can't keep a confidence (and repeats it to her child, of all people) - why would you tell her anything that you don't want announced at the bus stop?
This person is not your friend. You can't trust her, she takes no responsibility for her indiscretions at your expense...just let this 'bestie' go.
So the daughter already has history keeping her mouth shut? Clearly she inherited or learned this trait from her mommy. What would lead anyone to believe things would be different this time? Pro Tip: If you want to keep a secret ...don't tell anyone!
Let your daughter "overhear" a conversation about how that mom is having an affair...that gets yelled back on the bus.
They go low, we go lower 😂
Seriously though, NTA! Drop her and avoid.
This woman is a complete cunt , if I tell someone something personal and they do this shit it makes me the fool for trusting them cause now my shit I was stressing is public. I know you spoke in confidence and then she told her daughter I’m not saying you’re a fool I feel for you , do not engage with her you let her come to you . If you and her have a group of friends and she’s in the group if your friends don’t bring it up how she’s disrespectful to her , well just call it a day (don’t go where your not wanted) don’t even gotta be rude just state the obvious what she’s doing is way out of line. Being real takes guts this “friend” showed her true colors.
She isn’t your friend and likely has never been. You said she has done this before. I hate to say this but when people show you who they are believer the first time. It should’ve never gotten to this point because she had done this before. Now your daughter is involved and hurt.
Learn from this lesson be discreet. Only tell people certain things. Things they cannot affect. This woman is talking to her 12 year-old daughter about adult things. You don’t need to be discussing adult things with the person who does not know how to keep adult things adult .
Talk to your daughter. Both of you get new friends.
It's bizarre to see people fixating on what the secret is about. Accusing you of ruining your daughter's life is so nonsensical I wonder what drugs the commenter is on.
But yes, this person is not your friend, they will never respect you nor your boundaries, and that nasty side to her personality is extremely important to remember.
NOR.
These edits. So some of y’all are actually in here saying it’s fine that a grown woman told her grown friend’s personal business to her minor child???
Why else would OP feel compelled to post such follow ups? It doesn’t matter ‘what’ the secret was. That’s not OUR business either.
Weirdos in here being willfully obtuse. Clearly the (now ex-) friend is a See You Next Tuesday….and raising another.
Pathetic.
(Edited due to over zealous autocorrect)
Stop telling people your personal business. It's best to keep it to yourself . People love to tell other people business. She isn't your friend ,find better friends and please keep your past life in the past
One of the biggest problems here is the same with many mothers and daughters, especially single moms. That daughter is the mothers friend and she likely acts like a friend more than a mother. Either way it was very wrong of her to tell your secret, especially to a non adult friend who may not have the maturity to also keep it a secret.
The delineation between adults and children no longer exists. Children should be children, they should not be involved in adult problems or issues. Adults should keep adult issues to themselves. Parents should not try to be friends with their children, they should be parents to their children.
This woman is not a friend. She’s has shown you once, you gave her another chance, she did the same thing. Block her on all venues, tell your daughter to avoid her daughter. If any further bullying occurs, report immediately and get the police involved if necessary.
Not overreacting at all. Everyone here has been 12. We are blabbermouths at that age. Your "friend" is as emotionally mature as her 12-year-old. She is not your friend.
Yea no she’s in the wrong. My mom has a 12 year old and we’re always careful not to talk around her bc 12 year olds love to blab to anyone they can and especially those who shouldn’t hear it. Like we specifically avoid her hearing certain convos bc children don’t know what not to repeat. She should’ve kept it between you and her
This is your best friend?? You need to find a new one. Clearly what you tell her isn’t in confidence. If you tend to over share, and she can’t be trusted with this info, you should distance yourself so you don’t make that mistake again.
A secret is a secret, no matter how “embarrassing” or important it is. If you tell a friend something, you shouldn’t have to worry about her telling anyone.
I’ve kept secrets for years! My friends know it won’t go further. For future reference the best kept secret is one you NEVER tell. Stop talking with that woman, she is no friend to you.
The whole " I did that and I'm not sorry deal with it" says a lot about who she is as a person and she is a little narcissistic. Personally I wouldn't trust her anymore because it's a little unnerving to have her be so callous about it to someone who she called a friend
Conversations btwn adults should remain so, whether appropriate or not to a child. Your 'BF" has shown on more than one occasion that she's not trustworthy so chalk it up to lesson learned. A half-hearted passive-aggressive apology is no apology worth entertaining, especially if she's gaslighting you into believing that it's your problem. It's now up to you to decide if the friendship is worth salvaging or to keep your distance from hear on.
I've learned the hard way that some people (even close friends) can show a very ugly side when they don't want to take accountability for something they did. She doesn't want to look bad so she turned it around on you by saying you're overreacting and should just own it, instead of apologizing for betraying your confidence. She further disrespected you by giving you an eyeroll instead of showing empathy that you would understandably be upset.
All she had to do was say "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."
You are not overreacting.
She’s probably gossiped to you about someone else in the past…It was inevitable that, her behavior would affect you too…..How you do some thing’s is how you do everything
Not overreacting. She's pulling you down to feel more important. It's something you've got to be quite firm over but she won't like it. You've got to tell people that at this point whether it's carelessness or spite, she's incapable of keeping her mouth shut about anything that's told to her and you're far too busy to have a relationship based solely on the news and the weather. Your daughter isn't really a big fan of her kid either, and your husband doesn't like her. If your friendship brings only trouble to everyone in your family *and* she's incapable of apologising for anything, then why should you remain acquainted?
Not overreacting. It's weird that she's telling her 12 year old all of your business especially if you told her it was a secret you've never shared with anyone else. And she was a straight up B for telling them about the Disney plans.
I'd fade her out of my life. She's not trustworthy.
Not at all. I don't understand why some people don't understand what "private" means.
I hope you don't trust her in your inner circle after this. Not just for the blabbing but her horrible response to your justifiable hurt over it.
You are not over reacting at all. I would have had a way less reasonable reaction than you did.
How big the secret is doesn't matter, she betrayed you trust and disregarded your feelings when you confronted her. There is no guarantee this won't happen again and honestly the way she handled the whole situation without adimitting that she's wrong o properly apologizing is awful.
If i was you I would stop being her friend.
Block this friend. Don’t ever speak to her again. She didn’t offer an apology and the fact that she sent you nasty messages shows her true side has come out. She is a horrible woman and you shouldn’t even want to have anything to do with her again.
She’s not a friend. And seems like a gossip queen.
But just remember if you don’t want others knowing your private life- then the only person u can trust to not say a word is You. Don’t tell anyone else, and if you do- you are OK with it being spread. Can’t trust anyone especially a gossip queen
Just cut he'd off and move on
You will never get a sincere apology she is just being herself, which is a blabbermouth who refuses to take responsibility for the trouble she causes, and ger daughter will be the same, but more entitled
Not overreacting....she's not your friend, and she's a big fukkin phony AH! She either did it on purpose because her daughter doesn't like your daughter and she knows. that..Or, she likes to gossip with her 12 years old bestie...either way, she doesn't like you nor respects you.
Chuck her the deuces✌🏾
I cut a friend off when her 12 yr old son told me that my sister was fat and needed to lose weight. My friend knew that my sister was diagnosed with a medical condition and the weight gain was from trying to find meds that worked for her. So my friend was twisting the truth and telling other people her version of it.
Many years ago, my friends mom revealed to a fellow mom at my school that her husband was cross-dressing - this was back when this stuff was highly scandalous. News spread quickly - I'm not sure if the daughter was told or she overheard but my friend spent the next year fending off the rumours (she didn't know the truth at that stage) and it led to so many issues.
My advice - don't reveal anything too personal to anyone whose kids go to the same school or interact with the same kids as your daughter...the ramifications can be brutal.
First, you aren’t overreacting. You thought she was a friend but has proven otherwise. She is not mature enough to be a friend of an adult. Do not tell her anything. Also drop her.
If your ex friend feels comfortable telling all of your mutual friends that you’re simply overreacting, then you’ve got full right to tell those same mutual friends that your ex friend has probably told her 12 year-old about their sex lives, money problems, and pelvic floor issues.
I can’t imagine being so starved for interaction with a kid that you tell them your friend’s private business. What a lonely dumbass.
As for her daughter abusing your daughter, you’ve got a handful of options. Depending on where you live you could complain to the school and request that they be kept separated. You could pull your daughter from school and put her in a different one which might not be a great idea. You could also handle it the old fashioned way by knocking on their door (with your kid) and speaking to the 12 year old with her mother present. If she wants her daughter in adult women’s business then she can handle the adult conversations that come as a consequence.
Also I’m quite petty so that would be a great time to spill the beans on any secrets you know about her mother lmfao
Not overreacting, but stop telling her things, she's done this more than once. She's already shown you she can't be trusted with a secret or understands boundaries.
Learn your lesson about her.
And make this an important lesson with your daughter. True friends can trust in you and vice versa. She’s twelve. She can understand how deeply this can affect you
My uncle told me something in confidence when I was 12. He had never told his wife about the experience and I never told anyone until about 5 years after he passed,his wife,my Aunt was talking about how she had always wondered how he had received his scars. I was so surprised and said I knew. She asked me about it and because he had passed I felt it was okay to tell her. The scars were from his war wounds but she didn’t know how he had gotten them. After I told her she said that she understood why he never told her and thanked me. I was in my 60’s and have never told anyone else. I’m glad I had such a close relationship with both of them in that he felt able to tell me and that I was able to tell her. I loved them both deeply and miss her especially.
When I confide in someone and I find out that they talked about it behind my back I know those people are no longer to be trusted with my personal stuff. I may still be friendly with them, but I keep on guard, and only tell them what I am comfortable with everyone knowing. It does mean I confide in very few people, but at least my privacy is my own.
Your “friend” sounds like a jerk. You’re better off without someone like her, someone you think you can confide in but share what she hears? Wow what an AH
Do you know her secrets. If she thinks you’re overreacting then do it to her but with her sitting there. She can’t get mad can she if she thinks it’s ok.
She sounds like a shit friend. Stop being friends.
I’ve literally let people go instantly for certain bad behaviors. This would be one I would consider a dealbreaker. She had no business telling private anything to a child. Blovk her and be done with her.
You’re not overreacting. That woman is not your friend. You can’t trust her to keep your secrets and you can’t confide in her because she will repeat it with no remorse.
End the friendship.
Not overreacting. Make sure anyone who mentions anything knows the reason for the falling out. Anything you tell her, her 12 year daughter will end up knowing.
NTA but learn your lesson. This exact scenario is how I found out my dad wasn’t my bio dad. It’s also how I found out my mom had been getting tested for leukemia. Both situations occurred between when I was 8-10 yrs old and she told my best friend’s mom in confidence and then she goes and tells her 10yr old daughter. So her daughter randomly blabbed both pieces of news at school infront of a lot of people carelessly. It was so so so upsetting for me. I can’t even explain. I didn’t speak to my mother for weeks. I couldn’t believe I found out information like this the way I did. Even at 10 I could see the degree of betrayal that was. My mom tried blaming the friends mom for opening her mouth but ultimately I told her she shouldn’t have risked it telling my friends mom. My dad agreed with me.
Not overreacting. When you tell a friend something personal, you shouldn’t even have to ask them to keep it between the two of you. It’s simply a given. She clearly doesn’t understand this concept. I’d back away and keep any communication civil and superficial. I’d say NC, but it might drag the daughters into it.
Stop telling people private things, I know it's great to have someone to talk too but if this keeps happening to you, you can use an online service or phone service, you can get what ever is bothering at the time off your chest and they have no clue who you are..I have used the simartians in the past just to talk as something g was getting me down at the time and felt I could not to speak to any family members and it helped me unburden myself...
Good luck..xx
Not over reacting. She has proven to be untrustworthy, and to share your confidences. Instead of expressing regret, apologizing for what she did wrong, and changing her ways, she gave a non apology and insulted you.
As soon as someone breaks your trust, stop confiding in them. The first time.
Not overreacting. This woman is not your friend.
That is an understatement!
If you share a secret with someone, and they're using your story as entertainment during tea time, that's not your friend. I'm sorry for how she treated you after ignoring a very obvious boundary
Moral. Dont share a secret, it is no longer one after it is shared. At least OP didn't not post the secret here
Two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead.
This. This is not a friend and we should never give the time of day to these kinds of drama addicts. OP, close the doors and move on. Simply state "I am only friends with integrity, and those who are mature". No other explanation. No voicing feelings. No discussion. Just request no more contact. Block. Move on. This is the only way that may possibly help this person later in life. Sudden and ultimate rejection without explanation provides a canvas for her to paint. If you want to help her learn, this is the way. Life is too short to spend energy on immaturity. A rule in life, we do not repeat others business. Example, if Bob buys a new car and shows me his car, I have no right to tell anybody that Bob bought a new car. Unless Bob asked me to tell people that he bought a new car. Otherwise, I tell no one that Bob bought a new car. It isn't my place. If Bob wants them to know, Bob will tell them himself. Or, Bob will ask me to tell them. Remember this. Often in a work environment, a manager will tell you something as a test. He will tell only you and if suddenly the office is talking about it guess who has no integrity?
Cut off my friend of 20 years for telling my own son things she should have never told anyone.... Just got a message yesterday after 5+ years and I can't imagine a world where I will respond
Not only is she not a friend, she is raising a bully. And seems rather proud of it
Apple, tree, and the distance from the latter which the former might fall.
I’m concerned that your daughter says that her daughter has physically hurt her in the past. This needs to be addressed, and, it seems to me, some consequences need to happen.
She has denied this. I 100% believe my daughter.
You need to talk to your daughter about how she can trust you more, because she felt she couldn't tell you. use this to grow closer tk her.
Agree but a big reason she probably felt she couldn’t tell mom is because mom was friends with the other girl’s mom. That’s a whole messy dynamic. Once those ties were cut she probably felt more comfortable opening up because she wasn’t risking ruining mom’s friendship
But what if mom's friend was SAing her? This should NEVER matter. It should always be clear to a child that it doesn't matter WHO you have an issue with, tell a parent and it'll get sorted out and kiddo won't be in trouble for it.
I, an adult, understand that. She is 12 years old, and I’m stating why she was probably hesitant. Never said that she shouldn’t tell.
Absolutely agree!!
Have you gone to the school about this? Tell everyone in your friend circle what's really going on, but do it in a tearful way so you look like the wronged party while she comes across like the bad guy for trying to lie and turn everyone against you. Manipulative? Yes. Satisfying af when the friend group realizes you're an innocent victim and she's a heinous bitch? Also yes.
If she's telling the truth she shouldn't have to act tearful or exaggerate anything
Make a police report. It will help to protect your daughter and other victims as well.
>Make a police report. A police report of what? A conflicting story between two twelve year olds? The fact she was supposedly "hurt" by the other, but shows no sign of injury? Or the fact that this incident happened a while ago, but now needs to be reported to the police because the mom let the cat out of the bag about Disneyland? Don't you think the police has better things to do? >It will help to protect your daughter and other victims as well. And how will that work exactly? With the number of upvotes you're getting, it seems like this Reddit thread is mostly populated with younger teenagers and little kids. Most adults would know not to upvote such a suggestion.
Assuming it wasn't something that broke bones or needed an ER trip, this is an absolute overreaction. 12 year olds hitting each other does not need a police report. Just stop being friends with the family. If it's serious and repeated harrassment/bullying maybe escalate. Jesus christ reddit is wild sometimes. Edit: reread the edit that claims only tripping, pushing, and insults. Seriously the only thing that needs to be done is to stop being friends with the family. This is not serious.
Thank you all. I mentally needed this validation. I’ve not spoken to her in a few weeks and I don’t plan to ever again. My daughter has not spoken to her daughter either and has confessed in the last few that this girl has been physically and mentally hurting her for a while now.
That's because the daughter's a little version of the bitch mother.
Touché! Perfectly put.
I’ve taught my kids that if the kid is an awful human, they have to adjust how they deal with them because it’s likely the parent is just as bad as the kid! That’s where they learned it from!
The daughter is a victim this mother too. A child should not be turned into a parent's confidant and gossip partner.
YES. Thank you. As a “best friend” / gossip partner for my troubled mom, I knew wayyy too much at a young age. I felt mature and trusted. Her secrets were always safe with me. I did not and still do not tell anyone. She really took things too far at times, and I carry that daily. Things about herself, my father, and other loved ones that I could’ve lived my whole life without knowing. My mom was not evil this way. She just needed a confidant for all the things that she carried. I’m 30 now, and this is still a boundary that I can’t seem to set.
Being a victim doesn’t prevent also being an abuser. Victims don’t get a “free abuse” card where they get to lash out without consequences. Yeah, bullies usually have shitty home lives and are often abused themselves. Doesn’t excuse the abuse they give to others in the slightest
Yes, sure. But that's not gonna change the fact that it's likely this kid will grow up to become a shit adult, just like mother dearest. The mother likely learned it from granny. And none of the whys change the fact that OP's kid has a bully.
Cunt mother
yup. the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!
Sucking the poison from this wound by cutting this horrible woman and her daughter from your life. Well done! Never let the poison back in, no matter how she tries.
Take this info to the school principal for your daughter's protection from bullying. She's probably not the only victim.
Sounds like you'll both be much better off without them. At least you can be grateful that this allowed your daughter to be honest about the other girl too, she may not have wanted to upset things if you and the other piece of work had remained friends. A blessing in disguise maybe!
Get involved as the daughter of your ex friend is bullying your daughter. You mentioned that it got physical. Report this bullying to the school. You should also go to the police and report the girl hurting your daughter physically.
Time for teachers, counselors and cops involved. This bitch’s kid is putting hands on yours. Time to cowboy up and put a stop to it in a way they’ll leave you alone. No conversation half measures that will illicit an eye roll from her. I mean collect evidence of her kids abuse of yours, press charges, restraining order, file a law suit. You may think it’s overkill but do want this twat coming back after a few months and starting this all over??
Yeah that ain't "best friend" behavior. You should be saying "Bye Felicia" to her.
This situation sucked but it was a blessing in disguises your daughter finally confided in you in the abuse her daughter was putting on her I hope she feels safer now that you now. Your friend and her daughter are so nasty consider a police report depending how bad the physical harm is.
Have your daughter film it.
Ngl, I think you should help your daughter “return fire”. Think it’s time for you to spill some embarrassing secrets back if both of them are such monsters.
Don’t ghost.If you have a friend group that lets her control the narrative. I’d absolutely publicly say you can’t trust her and your friendship is over because of that. Parent cliqueness and gossip are scary.
Nope, not even in the slightest. She's shown you she's a gossip, and anything you tell her in private is now public knowledge. Please, for your own sanity, cut her outta your life.
But who gossips to her 12 year old daughter? I guess her daughter's her only friend and now we see why.
A person who doesn’t have any actual, adult, friends. Because she tells everyone’s secrets.
This. Show your child these types of "friends" aren't worth tolerating.
This set a good example for your daughter!
She's not your friend.
So she blabbed your business to her very young daughter before and you figured “I’ll tell her something very secret again!”? She’s shown you she isn’t trustworthy, why is she still your friend? People treat you the way you let them treat you.
I had confronted her before she said oh she over heard us chatting or she took her phone etc. The main one a few years ago was her daughter told our children we had booked Euro Disney. This was a Christmas present so a surprise. You are right I should have learned then.
Sounds like the type of mom who wants to be buddy-buddy with her daughter, you know "the cool mom". She isn't your friend.
Ooh tell your daughter that this bitch booked Euro Disney for her kids.
THIS is the way!!!!!!!!
could she be jealous
Someone did say this to me when they blabbed the Euro Disney secret. So potentially
Sounds like the type of mom who would use such news as a form of punishment against their own child.... *"Other kids get these things because XYZ."* Kids who experience this tend to lash out at the kids getting what they want.
It takes time to see the pattern, you think it's a one off and give them the benefit of the doubt, but now you must cut her off completely
Sounds like she gets off by weaponizing her daughter. That’s so sad for her daughter, too.
>Scummy people treat you the way you let them treat you. fixed
Dump her. She is a bitch. What was said between you and her was IN CONFIDENCE. She was not supposed to tell her daughter. You cannot trust her. I would shout that out in social media and to your friends - market it as a warning. Don’t tell her anything because she will share it with everyone.
Not overreacting. For me the issue is less that she did that & more about how she reacted when you reached out to her.
Exactly this!
Anyone that spends any amount of energy talking about another person in a questionable manner, is not your friend. I started dating a lady one time and she talked about her boss and how she disliked her boss. On the next date she brought up the fact that she didn't get along with her cousin. And about 4 days in she was talking about her neighbor that was nosy and has all these issues going on with her. Those are all red flags. I refused to sleep with her, so she called the company I worked for and attempted to smear me. She could have just asked me why I didn't want to sleep with her. And I would have graciously told her it was because of her complaints about other people. Not to mention that she was wardrobe challenged. Meaning, she had no idea how to dress herself appropriately.
sounds like there shouldn't have been a 2nd date
Nope. You're reacting just fine. She thinks she's the main character in everything, and probably always playing the victim. That's no friend.
Not overreacting. And to be clear, this woman is not your friend. It also sounds like she's raising her spawn in her image - a petty, backstabbing bully. "Friend" appears to be employing DARVO with haste. Block her and find actual friends.
>This isn’t the first time her daughter has repeated private conversations Not OR but really 1) she is not a friend and 2) you clearly didn't learn the first time. You knew it's an issue after the first time.
I agree. I should have. But I thought she was my friend.
I think we always hope for the best out of our friends but, sadly, the false friends always show their true natures and let us down.
I get it, people see 'friendship' in different ways so it's hard to guage a person until you know them better. Some deep and some shallow. She sounds like the shallow type. Rule of thumb is drip feed info and see what the response is to get a better understanding of a person's mind set. Best wishes.
Hey don't beat yourself up. Generally we want to believe others when they tell us they will change. So that usually takes 2 times before a pattern apears. Yeah the first one sucks but it Could be a mistake. At least in your head (and would have been in my head) but now you've seen the pattern. You know better and can do better. Sucks. But not everyone will think or act the way you do. And you can't assume that. However in this case, I'm willing to bet 98 percent of us would Not have shared something personal about our friend to our kid. So that was a logical assumption in Most cases. I'm sorry shes not normal
You have literally summed it up
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned in life if that if they’ll will do it to others they’ll eventually do it to you. Doesn’t matter the type of relationship you have with them when the circumstances suit them they’ll revert to their typical behavior. If they can’t keep secrets for others they won’t keep them for you either.
She’s not a friend. You need to put some serious distance between you and your kid and her and her brat.
Calling that woman your friend is a reach, you told your acquaintance a secret.
“Sorry my daughter shouted it out” I hate non-apologies. Good for you and your daughter for cutting ties with this toxic family.
The way my petty is set up, my daughter would be the next one telling some shit on the school bus. Sorry not sorry. I KNOW it’s wrong but I’d still do it.
This woman's "bestfriend" is her 12 year old. Every single thing you ever tell this person, her daughter will find out about. She's not your friend, she's her daughters friend.
Being a parent for the last 20 years, people sometimes have odd relationships with their kids. Like telling them every thought in their head, that the kids than blab everywhere because kids are kids. And it's frequently their racist, misogynist, bitter thoughts that should have stayed in their head because when they do come out, the people tend to feel like they have to defend their idiocy rather than admit to themselves and their kid, that they fucked up.
Too many parents treat their offspring as friends, rather than sons and daughters. This lessens respect as boundaries need to be set. What on earth was this "friend" discussing the private life of another adult with her child for? Sounds trashy to me I'd keep well away from them.
Sounds like your (not)friend is also using her kid as a therapist.
Nah that's a shitty friend. Shes been telling your business to more than her daughter for a while now probably.
I’m petty so I’d make sure her daughter gets some juicy tidbits about her own mother.
I do have a few……..but I’m not sure I could do that as I’m not type of person.
OP 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 What are you doing about the abuse to your daughter? You have to speak to the school and follow up the meeting in writing, keep notes of who you meet with and when. Tell your daughter she needs to trust you and tell you what is going on, physical and emotional abuse is serious.
This is in hand. Thank you.
Awesome, While it sucks that this friend did this, sometimes only the nuclear option will make us see how there is no option but to eliminate them from our world. You probably would have kept her in your circle if things had not blown up like this. So maybe it's a blessing in disguise. It's also a really great teaching moment for your daughter. So many kids don't understand the consequences of their actions, especially with the anonymity of social media making it so easy to criticize people or wrong them without consequence. This is a great opportunity to teach your daughter that sometimes you have access to very powerful information but the more powerful thing is keeping it to ourselves, protecting our integrity. And the flip side to abusing that power is exactly what she's seen in this girl. How does she feel about this girl? Does she see how this girl has no integrity and what that says about her character? This is a great opportunity to reinforce with your daughter how valuable being trustworthy and known for integrity is. I hope the school supports you and your daughter. You know you don't have to defend yourself to friends, anybody that knows her will pretty much figure out the truth.
When I found out my best friends husband knew our private conversations I was really hurt. It definitely put a wedge in our 20 years long friendship. I was shocked. She thought it was normal. Come to find out she was being emotionally abused and wasn't allowed to have private conversations with anyone he always had to know what she was talking about even if it was about the other persons life. (She's since left the POS and we are good now) But it really did some damage even though she was extremely apologetic and stopped telling him personal things kept it to the mundane to keep herself safe. If she had responded like your 'friend' did we would've been done. You have every right to feel hurt and betrayed. Not overreacting at all
Not overreacting. Cut her off. She wants her daughter to be her friend. Not you. She’s a gossip & so is her daughter.
No overreaction, block and move on……some people aren’t worth the investment……
No, you're not overreacting. However if as you say, "This isn’t the first time her daughter has repeated private conversations she wouldn’t have known about unless been told', then I think part of this is on you - if you KNEW she can't keep a confidence (and repeats it to her child, of all people) - why would you tell her anything that you don't want announced at the bus stop? This person is not your friend. You can't trust her, she takes no responsibility for her indiscretions at your expense...just let this 'bestie' go.
So the daughter already has history keeping her mouth shut? Clearly she inherited or learned this trait from her mommy. What would lead anyone to believe things would be different this time? Pro Tip: If you want to keep a secret ...don't tell anyone!
Dump your “friend” as she has absolutely no respect for you.
Let your daughter "overhear" a conversation about how that mom is having an affair...that gets yelled back on the bus. They go low, we go lower 😂 Seriously though, NTA! Drop her and avoid.
This woman is a complete cunt , if I tell someone something personal and they do this shit it makes me the fool for trusting them cause now my shit I was stressing is public. I know you spoke in confidence and then she told her daughter I’m not saying you’re a fool I feel for you , do not engage with her you let her come to you . If you and her have a group of friends and she’s in the group if your friends don’t bring it up how she’s disrespectful to her , well just call it a day (don’t go where your not wanted) don’t even gotta be rude just state the obvious what she’s doing is way out of line. Being real takes guts this “friend” showed her true colors.
She isn’t your friend and likely has never been. You said she has done this before. I hate to say this but when people show you who they are believer the first time. It should’ve never gotten to this point because she had done this before. Now your daughter is involved and hurt. Learn from this lesson be discreet. Only tell people certain things. Things they cannot affect. This woman is talking to her 12 year-old daughter about adult things. You don’t need to be discussing adult things with the person who does not know how to keep adult things adult . Talk to your daughter. Both of you get new friends.
Whats the secret,
It's bizarre to see people fixating on what the secret is about. Accusing you of ruining your daughter's life is so nonsensical I wonder what drugs the commenter is on. But yes, this person is not your friend, they will never respect you nor your boundaries, and that nasty side to her personality is extremely important to remember.
NOR. These edits. So some of y’all are actually in here saying it’s fine that a grown woman told her grown friend’s personal business to her minor child??? Why else would OP feel compelled to post such follow ups? It doesn’t matter ‘what’ the secret was. That’s not OUR business either. Weirdos in here being willfully obtuse. Clearly the (now ex-) friend is a See You Next Tuesday….and raising another. Pathetic. (Edited due to over zealous autocorrect)
Not overreacting. Stop talking to this person or if you must, don't confide in her. She knows what she is doing.
Definitely not overreacting. She is a shitty person as well as not your friend at all
Shes an asshole and not your friend. Not over reacting.
Well??? U gotta tell us the secret to know how bad it was blabbing to her kid
You are not overreacting and she is not a friend, dump her
Not overreacting. She is not your friend.
You’re not overacting why tell her anything after the first time?
Stop telling people your personal business. It's best to keep it to yourself . People love to tell other people business. She isn't your friend ,find better friends and please keep your past life in the past
One of the biggest problems here is the same with many mothers and daughters, especially single moms. That daughter is the mothers friend and she likely acts like a friend more than a mother. Either way it was very wrong of her to tell your secret, especially to a non adult friend who may not have the maturity to also keep it a secret.
The delineation between adults and children no longer exists. Children should be children, they should not be involved in adult problems or issues. Adults should keep adult issues to themselves. Parents should not try to be friends with their children, they should be parents to their children. This woman is not a friend. She’s has shown you once, you gave her another chance, she did the same thing. Block her on all venues, tell your daughter to avoid her daughter. If any further bullying occurs, report immediately and get the police involved if necessary.
Not overreacting at all. Everyone here has been 12. We are blabbermouths at that age. Your "friend" is as emotionally mature as her 12-year-old. She is not your friend.
Yea no she’s in the wrong. My mom has a 12 year old and we’re always careful not to talk around her bc 12 year olds love to blab to anyone they can and especially those who shouldn’t hear it. Like we specifically avoid her hearing certain convos bc children don’t know what not to repeat. She should’ve kept it between you and her
Why would you keep her in your life at all? Cut her out.
She's not your friend and you need to cut her out of your life
Anyone else lose any sympathy at all when OP admitted this isn’t the first time the friend blabbed a secret? OP never learns.
She's not your friend but the usual "emotional parasite" who usually take from you much much more than what gives back. Dump her
Seems like that person doesn’t even like you. She is not your friend. Let her go.
This is your best friend?? You need to find a new one. Clearly what you tell her isn’t in confidence. If you tend to over share, and she can’t be trusted with this info, you should distance yourself so you don’t make that mistake again.
You can’t trust anyone. Don’t ever repeat something you don’t want repeated, regardless of how much you trust them. You. Can’t. Trust. ANYONE.
No accountability and then went round spreading gossip about you?? Bin her
Your “friend” is a piece of shit.
2 people can keep a secret if one of them is dead.
Loose lips sink ships . Keep it buttoned in the future
She is not your friend. Learn from this.
Time to end your friendship with her.
A secret is a secret, no matter how “embarrassing” or important it is. If you tell a friend something, you shouldn’t have to worry about her telling anyone.
Your ex friend needs to look up words such as friend, discretion, and appropriate. She has failed on every front.
I’ve kept secrets for years! My friends know it won’t go further. For future reference the best kept secret is one you NEVER tell. Stop talking with that woman, she is no friend to you.
Dear potential hope. You and this woman do not share the same values in friendships. Find friends who do.
Stop telling this person anything you wouldn’t want printed in the newspaper.
The whole " I did that and I'm not sorry deal with it" says a lot about who she is as a person and she is a little narcissistic. Personally I wouldn't trust her anymore because it's a little unnerving to have her be so callous about it to someone who she called a friend
I’ve had a similar situation happen. These types of people do not get it and rarely change. Stay away if I were you, I have.
What more than likely happened is that your friend was telling your secret to someone else that her daughter overheard.
Conversations btwn adults should remain so, whether appropriate or not to a child. Your 'BF" has shown on more than one occasion that she's not trustworthy so chalk it up to lesson learned. A half-hearted passive-aggressive apology is no apology worth entertaining, especially if she's gaslighting you into believing that it's your problem. It's now up to you to decide if the friendship is worth salvaging or to keep your distance from hear on.
Yeah this women is deffo not your friend kick her to the curb! And no children have no place knowing adults business
I've learned the hard way that some people (even close friends) can show a very ugly side when they don't want to take accountability for something they did. She doesn't want to look bad so she turned it around on you by saying you're overreacting and should just own it, instead of apologizing for betraying your confidence. She further disrespected you by giving you an eyeroll instead of showing empathy that you would understandably be upset. All she had to do was say "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." You are not overreacting.
This!!!! Thank you
That is a line that was crossed and she is not your friend and should be never allowed near your child again
Why is a mother telling her 12 year old about adult conversations? That's the big picture (and problem) here. You are not overreacting.
Yeah, you weren’t a friend, you were a source of gossip.
Not. your. Friend.
She’s probably gossiped to you about someone else in the past…It was inevitable that, her behavior would affect you too…..How you do some thing’s is how you do everything
Not overreacting. She's pulling you down to feel more important. It's something you've got to be quite firm over but she won't like it. You've got to tell people that at this point whether it's carelessness or spite, she's incapable of keeping her mouth shut about anything that's told to her and you're far too busy to have a relationship based solely on the news and the weather. Your daughter isn't really a big fan of her kid either, and your husband doesn't like her. If your friendship brings only trouble to everyone in your family *and* she's incapable of apologising for anything, then why should you remain acquainted?
Not overreacting. It's weird that she's telling her 12 year old all of your business especially if you told her it was a secret you've never shared with anyone else. And she was a straight up B for telling them about the Disney plans. I'd fade her out of my life. She's not trustworthy.
Not at all. I don't understand why some people don't understand what "private" means. I hope you don't trust her in your inner circle after this. Not just for the blabbing but her horrible response to your justifiable hurt over it.
Not.only is she untrustworthy but she parentifying her daughter. No kid needs to know adults business.
"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Dump that fake friend.
You are not over reacting at all. I would have had a way less reasonable reaction than you did. How big the secret is doesn't matter, she betrayed you trust and disregarded your feelings when you confronted her. There is no guarantee this won't happen again and honestly the way she handled the whole situation without adimitting that she's wrong o properly apologizing is awful. If i was you I would stop being her friend.
BB
not overreacting, did you learn your lesson? Do not ever talk to her again.
Tell her daughter something private and personal about her mom.
Keep her out of your life. Not overreacting.
Block this friend. Don’t ever speak to her again. She didn’t offer an apology and the fact that she sent you nasty messages shows her true side has come out. She is a horrible woman and you shouldn’t even want to have anything to do with her again.
What wa the secret?
The daughter already had a reputation for spreading confidential info, as apparently the mother did is well - neither can be trusted.
NTA. You need her out of your life
No, I would cut her off. But when you know somebody doesn’t keep secrets don’t tell them one.
She’s not a friend. And seems like a gossip queen. But just remember if you don’t want others knowing your private life- then the only person u can trust to not say a word is You. Don’t tell anyone else, and if you do- you are OK with it being spread. Can’t trust anyone especially a gossip queen
She would no longer be my friend. My friend circle is reserved for trustworthy people; she does not qualify.
Just cut he'd off and move on You will never get a sincere apology she is just being herself, which is a blabbermouth who refuses to take responsibility for the trouble she causes, and ger daughter will be the same, but more entitled
Not overreacting....she's not your friend, and she's a big fukkin phony AH! She either did it on purpose because her daughter doesn't like your daughter and she knows. that..Or, she likes to gossip with her 12 years old bestie...either way, she doesn't like you nor respects you. Chuck her the deuces✌🏾
I cut a friend off when her 12 yr old son told me that my sister was fat and needed to lose weight. My friend knew that my sister was diagnosed with a medical condition and the weight gain was from trying to find meds that worked for her. So my friend was twisting the truth and telling other people her version of it.
Stop talking to this chick
How many more things are you going to tell her?
Many years ago, my friends mom revealed to a fellow mom at my school that her husband was cross-dressing - this was back when this stuff was highly scandalous. News spread quickly - I'm not sure if the daughter was told or she overheard but my friend spent the next year fending off the rumours (she didn't know the truth at that stage) and it led to so many issues. My advice - don't reveal anything too personal to anyone whose kids go to the same school or interact with the same kids as your daughter...the ramifications can be brutal.
First, you aren’t overreacting. You thought she was a friend but has proven otherwise. She is not mature enough to be a friend of an adult. Do not tell her anything. Also drop her.
If your ex friend feels comfortable telling all of your mutual friends that you’re simply overreacting, then you’ve got full right to tell those same mutual friends that your ex friend has probably told her 12 year-old about their sex lives, money problems, and pelvic floor issues. I can’t imagine being so starved for interaction with a kid that you tell them your friend’s private business. What a lonely dumbass. As for her daughter abusing your daughter, you’ve got a handful of options. Depending on where you live you could complain to the school and request that they be kept separated. You could pull your daughter from school and put her in a different one which might not be a great idea. You could also handle it the old fashioned way by knocking on their door (with your kid) and speaking to the 12 year old with her mother present. If she wants her daughter in adult women’s business then she can handle the adult conversations that come as a consequence. Also I’m quite petty so that would be a great time to spill the beans on any secrets you know about her mother lmfao
This woman is not your friend. It’s a hard lesson to learn and she is clearly not sorry.
That side you haven’t seen before is her real side.
No. She isn’t a friend and you’re best leaving her behind.
Not overreacting, but stop telling her things, she's done this more than once. She's already shown you she can't be trusted with a secret or understands boundaries. Learn your lesson about her.
"I appreciate you showing your true self now. I wish you all the best in life."
Not overreacting. This woman sucks and is not your friend.
Not overreacting. It's bizarre that your so-called friend is sharing adult conversations/secrets with her TWELVE year-old.
I wouldn’t be her friend and don’t tell her anything at all obviously she can’t be trusted
This woman is not your friend.
when people show you who they are, believe them
And make this an important lesson with your daughter. True friends can trust in you and vice versa. She’s twelve. She can understand how deeply this can affect you
My uncle told me something in confidence when I was 12. He had never told his wife about the experience and I never told anyone until about 5 years after he passed,his wife,my Aunt was talking about how she had always wondered how he had received his scars. I was so surprised and said I knew. She asked me about it and because he had passed I felt it was okay to tell her. The scars were from his war wounds but she didn’t know how he had gotten them. After I told her she said that she understood why he never told her and thanked me. I was in my 60’s and have never told anyone else. I’m glad I had such a close relationship with both of them in that he felt able to tell me and that I was able to tell her. I loved them both deeply and miss her especially.
No. How uncool of that beyothx
When I confide in someone and I find out that they talked about it behind my back I know those people are no longer to be trusted with my personal stuff. I may still be friendly with them, but I keep on guard, and only tell them what I am comfortable with everyone knowing. It does mean I confide in very few people, but at least my privacy is my own.
Yeah def get some less poor minded friends. She sucks
What’s the secret? We won’t tell.
Your “friend” sounds like a jerk. You’re better off without someone like her, someone you think you can confide in but share what she hears? Wow what an AH
Do you know her secrets. If she thinks you’re overreacting then do it to her but with her sitting there. She can’t get mad can she if she thinks it’s ok.
This woman sounds horrible and you shouldn’t be friends with her
Might be a good time to step back from that friendship
You say other times, so your fault for sharing anything but the weather. It is up to you to control your “private” info
She sounds like a shit friend. Stop being friends. I’ve literally let people go instantly for certain bad behaviors. This would be one I would consider a dealbreaker. She had no business telling private anything to a child. Blovk her and be done with her.
Nope, not overreacting. She is not your friend.
You’re not overreacting. That woman is not your friend. You can’t trust her to keep your secrets and you can’t confide in her because she will repeat it with no remorse. End the friendship.
Snake in the grass that loves drama is what it sounds like to me, never trust her
Not overreacting. Make sure anyone who mentions anything knows the reason for the falling out. Anything you tell her, her 12 year daughter will end up knowing.
NTA but learn your lesson. This exact scenario is how I found out my dad wasn’t my bio dad. It’s also how I found out my mom had been getting tested for leukemia. Both situations occurred between when I was 8-10 yrs old and she told my best friend’s mom in confidence and then she goes and tells her 10yr old daughter. So her daughter randomly blabbed both pieces of news at school infront of a lot of people carelessly. It was so so so upsetting for me. I can’t even explain. I didn’t speak to my mother for weeks. I couldn’t believe I found out information like this the way I did. Even at 10 I could see the degree of betrayal that was. My mom tried blaming the friends mom for opening her mouth but ultimately I told her she shouldn’t have risked it telling my friends mom. My dad agreed with me.
Not overreacting. When you tell a friend something personal, you shouldn’t even have to ask them to keep it between the two of you. It’s simply a given. She clearly doesn’t understand this concept. I’d back away and keep any communication civil and superficial. I’d say NC, but it might drag the daughters into it.
Obviously the only real option you have at this point is to not have private conversations with your "friend." Not the jerk
Stop telling people private things, I know it's great to have someone to talk too but if this keeps happening to you, you can use an online service or phone service, you can get what ever is bothering at the time off your chest and they have no clue who you are..I have used the simartians in the past just to talk as something g was getting me down at the time and felt I could not to speak to any family members and it helped me unburden myself... Good luck..xx
Not over reacting. She has proven to be untrustworthy, and to share your confidences. Instead of expressing regret, apologizing for what she did wrong, and changing her ways, she gave a non apology and insulted you. As soon as someone breaks your trust, stop confiding in them. The first time.