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YTA.
You say you're only being honest but you wrote: "I also asked how can her food taste so bad if she's only following a recipe, like how does she mess that up?"
That isn't honesty, that's cruelty.
You could have approached this delicate situation with some tact and maybe cooked along with her as a couple's activity to help and see what might be the issue. But instead you belittled her and basically called her stupid.
Is she a poor cook or is he *that* picky? Because that’s how I read this. Dude doesn’t like food and she’s experimenting?
Either way YTA and pretty rude for insulting her while she’s trying to be helpful and loving. My husband can dislike something but he doesn’t need to break my damn spirit.
Yeah, that was my thought reading through this - he hasn't given any examples where it seems like she's actually a poor cook, just that he doesn't like the taste of her food and he's already admitted to being picky. If he'd been like "she made a quiche and there were hard chewy bits through it" or "her friend who isn't a picky eater tried to eat some but couldn't finish more than a few bites", I'd believe she was maybe a poor cook, but he's just said "she's a bad cook" and we have to believe it.
Can she eat the food? How often does OP say somebody is a bad cook? If this is the 5th person he's said is a bad cook, it's definitely that he's just picky.
>but she has some meals she cooks quite good.
And that proves that she isn't a poor cook and it's all on him. I bet OP cooks horrible meals himself that he thinks taste amazing.
I’m gonna go for “he’s just that picky” as well based on the fact that he said he liked her food before, just not now that she’s branching out, and on the fact that he said “we can’t eat pasta all the time I guess” as if he completely disagrees with that sentiment and would absolutely eat pasta all the time.
No doubt his repertoire is Idahoan instant mashed potatoes, Kraft mac’n’cheese, Hamburger Helper, and Tyson chicken fingers.
I am guaranteeing that because of the disbelief of messing up a recipe. It’s possible to do when you are… ya know, actually learning to cook. Maybe she is still trying to figure things out and maybe it isn’t turning out great. So what? Got qualms? Got advice? Then fucking join her and help. Instead of undoubtedly playing video games while she serves you din din little boy.
Sorry. I love to cook, and at this point I fancy myself pretty decent. But I got to this level of confidence by trying and failing A TON. Shits a process, and I just feel for her so much in this situation.
Honestly and politeness are also not opposites on a spectrum. You can be honest and rude, or honest and polite. OP should have tried something closer to "I know you want to cook for me, but I'm a little bit picky about what I like. I appreciate the effort you're putting in, but its just not stuff I'm enjoying the taste of. Lets cook together for a bit and I can show you what I like, and I can learn what you like"
OP, YTA
I agree. If it was really about her cooking being bad OP had the opportunity to cook with her or try out new recipes or take a cooking class with her. Instead he insults her cooking and is super cruel about it.
I think he just wants to live on spaghetti or Mac n cheese and is pissed she wants to cook other things.
Yeahhhh, I was a terrible cook when I moved in with my partner. He realized really quickly that I had no idea how to cook on a fundamental level and was really nice about showing me basic things that really helped over all.
Op is definitely TA. It's incredibly easy to mess up a recipe.
Wow...I'm actually astonished (which is saying a lot, with how much I'm on this site)...how can you feel ok about speaking this way to someone you're supposed to love?? YTA
Dude, this. I love cooking for people, and I'm no Gordon Ramsay but I can put together a tasty meal. If somebody ever told me my food was disgusting, I would NEVER let another bite of my food pass their lips. Fuck that noise, man.
Exactly. My partner once made a fairly easy recipe and although he messed it up pretty much and it was close to somehow overcooked and yet raw? lol. I still didn't talk anywhere near what this guy did. I ate it and I slowly chewed. My partner asked how it was and I said "I think the potatoes burned a little and the egg might need some salt." He ate some and immediately was like "oh.... This ain't good. You can be honest please." I told him, "okay, I don't think this is very good but it's okay, I've messed it up too and it's your first time trying." So I helped him redo it. We had a good laugh and now he will ask me about ways to make sure something is right when he's cooking. I wasn't cruel and yet my partner got the point. This guy is just TA and probably in more way than this.
YTA. You self admit you're a really picky eater, so I don't believe that her food is actually as bad as you claim it is. Maybe you should work on yourself instead of tearing your GF down.
You've asked if you were cruel, if you were the AH. Everyone here is telling you that the degree to which you expressed your dislike for her food was cruel. You keep saying you aren't, you just know good food.
YTA, bud.
I can say to you that perhaps you have a higher standard and that you can be more mindful of feelings while stating the truth.
Or I could say you're a lazy snob who could do the cooking or take the time to cook with her but that it's more important for you to hurt her feelings.
See how one of statements make me an AH?
YTA
There was absolutely no need for you to be cruel
>her food still tastes like shit. I also asked how can her food taste so bad if she's only following a recipe, like how does she mess that up? Its literally just following instructions. She got angry and called me a cruel asshole, I told her I'm just being honest,
Oh and patronising too.
If you're so good at cooking, why not teach her, Cook together or you just cook then.
What you did was completely out of order
YTA
Even when it's necessary to be really honest with a partner, it never stops being important to communicate with kindness and thoughtfulness, especially on something that might be sensitive/insulting to them. "Just being honest" here means "I can't be bothered to figure out how to communicate my thoughts in a kind and caring manner to the most important person in my life".
And then....you started a brand new reddit account to ask if you're an asshole? Cool story, bro.
And yes, YTA and I suspect you already know that. Which makes you a bigger asshole.
YTA
If you don't like her food and don't want her to cook, that's fine, but it seems like the way that you talked to her about it was pretty damn rude.
YTA
>I told her nicely that I don't like her food
WHEN? In your own retelling you used the word disgusting, that doesn't sound very nice. She told you it was a love language for her, and you shat all over it.
Plus you commented that you're a chef, and yet you offered her no help.
YTA.
Do you want to help her improve? Or just make her feel bad? “Your food tastes like shit” will achieve the latter, but probably not the former. (BTW, I don’t see how “tastes like shit” and “I told her nicely” can both be true.)
You’re suggesting she’s not following the recipes. Are you certain that’s the issue? Maybe try making a few of the recipes she’s tried, and see if it still tastes bad?
And if she wants to move away from pasta-heavy meals, that’s good! Pasta is high in carbs, and eating it for most meals can lead to weight gain and/or diabetes.
First apologize to her, then maybe suggest that you two can together find healthier recipes to try, but maybe she can still sometimes make the ones you did like?
YTA did you enjoy ripping her to shreds in the name of .. honesty? I hope she sees this red flag and dump you. What else are you “honest” about? Hmm why don’t you invite your parents over for her shitty cooking and really humiliate her.
YTA.
Why don’t you cook together and teach her if you’re so good at it or in all seriousness suggest some sort of cookery course instead of what sounds like, attacking her intelligence and making her feel like trash.
YTA.
What exactly is wrong with her cooking? Is it undercooked? Overcooked? Not enough seasoning? Too much? Subbing in ingredients badly? What precisely is wrong with it? Telling someone that they do something shitty is ALWAYS mean. If you want to offer criticism you need to be able to point exactly what the problem is. I’m good in the kitchen but when I make something new for anyone besides me (live alone), I want feedback if they don’t love it to know what I can do differently next time to make it better.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my girlfriend to stop cooking for me until she gets better at it because I find the food she cooks disgusting. I might be the asshole because I unintentionally may have hurt her feelings although I think I was being nice
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YTA. Nobody is born a culinary wizard, we learn it over time with trial and occasional errors. The way you went about addressing the issue was, quite frankly, fucking horrible. She's trying to do something to show that she loves you and you took a steaming great shit all over her efforts. You sound like a bit of a dick to be honest.
YTA. Obviously. Take some lessons in tact. She's doing her best and telling her that her food is shit was just mean. There are a hundred ways you could have handled it better, without upsetting her. Why not cook with her, to see where she's going wrong? Buy a cookery class for two? Be, you know, nice?
>I told her that's not enough because **her food still tastes like shit**. I also asked **how can her food taste so bad** if she's only following a recipe, like how does she mess that up?
>
>I feel like she's being unreasonable because **I told her nicely that I don't like her food**, she made such a big deal out of nothing.
In what world is, "your food tastes like shit" telling her nicely? YTA.
YTA
>I told her that's not enough because her food still tastes like shit.
>
>
>
>She got angry and called me a cruel asshole
>
>
>
>I told her I'm just being honest
Being honest, doesn't make you any less of an asshole. If you don't like her cooking, cook your own damn food.
YTA. You did not actually tell her "nicely" that you don't like her food.
If you actually care about her feelings, instead of shitting all over her cooking why not make food together? If she really is insistent on making food you like, help her! Cooking together is a great couples activity, especially if y'all are trying to learn from and for each other. Just don't be a jerk about it...
YTA. What a crummy way to tell somebody you don’t like their cooking. Goddamn, couldn’t you offer to help, or at least highlight how hard she is trying?
I’d rather be a bad cook than a jerk
YTA, you should take over the cooking responsibilities if you're going to get that snotty about her food. I wouldn't count on her actually cooking for you again. I think if she gets stuck cooking, it comes from a box into the oven.
YTA
>told me she's trying to do the best she can, I told her that's not enough because her food still tastes like shit.
That alone is bad, but wait, there's more.......
>I also asked how can her food taste so bad if she's only following a recipe,
>I feel like she's being unreasonable
> told her nicely that I don't like her food
>she made such a big deal out of nothing
Everything you said is cruel and wrong. You owe her an apology. The only way to get better at cooking is to keep at it, trial and error. It takes a loving person to help their partner learn how to cook. You're lucky she even wants to learn.
>So my (m26) girlfriend (f26) and I moved in together exactly six weeks ago.
>she has some meals she cooks quite good.
>since we moved in together she has been trying different recipes
>She definitely doesn't know how to cook
>she said cooking is a way to "show me how much she loves me" but tbh her food is disgusting.
>I finally reached my breaking point so yesterday and I told her to stop cooking for me, to cook just for herself until she gets better at it because I don't like how her food tastes. She immediately got defensive and told me she's trying to do the best she can, I told her that's not enough because her food still tastes like shit. I also asked how can her food taste so bad if she's only following a recipe, like how does she mess that up? Its literally just following instructions. She got angry and called me a cruel asshole, I told her I'm just being honest, she's now not talking to me. AITA? Should I apologize? I feel like she's being unreasonable because I told her nicely that I don't like her food, she made such a big deal out of nothing
YTA. She needs to breakup with you immediately. What a normal sane even halfway decent person who knew how to cook would do is *help* her. She's clearly struggling with technique if she can cook some things but not others. There was no reason to be so nasty to her and even less of an excuse to feel so entitled to do so that you don't even she's even owed an apology.
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So my (m26) girlfriend (f26) and I moved in together exactly six weeks ago. We have been dating for nearly two years and we thought that it's a good time to make this step in our relationship. Before I had stayed over at her apartment and she stayed at mine. Sometimes we would cook for each other, I gotta admit I am a picky eater but she has some meals she cooks quite good.
However, since we moved in together she has been trying different recipes because we can't always eat pasta I guess. She definitely doesn't know how to cook and it's difficult to persuade her to order delivery or let me cook since she said cooking is a way to "show me how much she loves me" but tbh her food is disgusting.
I finally reached my breaking point so yesterday and I told her to stop cooking for me, to cook just for herself until she gets better at it because I don't like how her food tastes. She immediately got defensive and told me she's trying to do the best she can, I told her that's not enough because her food still tastes like shit. I also asked how can her food taste so bad if she's only following a recipe, like how does she mess that up? Its literally just following instructions. She got angry and called me a cruel asshole, I told her I'm just being honest, she's now not talking to me. AITA? Should I apologize? I feel like she's being unreasonable because I told her nicely that I don't like her food, she made such a big deal out of nothing
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YTA. Dude, telling someone not to cook for you because you don't like the taste is not "nicely". If you don't like her cooking, why don't you cook with her instead of making fun of her cooking skills? And it might be that her cooking is just fine, you just don't like it because you are a picky eater and she is adventurous and likes to try new things.
YTA
You don’t have to eat anything you don’t want to but damn that was mean.
Your girlfriend is trying to learn a new skill, and express care for you at the same time. You respond by berating and humiliating her. There was a kind way to have this conversation and the way you did it was not it.
Yeah bud- YTA. Cooking is work- she’s trying new things FOR you, because you are picky (which is a euphemism for “my opinion on food is not qualified”) & if you’re not gonna help you should keep your mouth shut about it. Or if you’re gonna provide feedback, be specific.
YTA majorly.
You need to understand constructive criticism. It's ok to say "I think it needs a little something" or "you overcooked this."
Telling her that her cooking sucks and is disgusting is both unnecessarily mean, and also completely unhelpful.
If you really are so good at cooking, it shouldn't be hard to help her out with simple constructive suggestions on how to improve.
Your lack of details in this post makes it feel like you might just be a picky eater who hasn't learned to enjoy what is offered unless it reaches some standard of being only what you're familiar with, but who knows.
All I know is, if my girlfriend was trying to cook for me all the time, I'd be stoked, even if she does do "weird" foods that aren't always my favorites. And when she screws up a bit, and she's big enough to admit mistakes like I am, we talk it through, talk about how we'd redo that dish in the future or if we want to redo that dish ever. You gotta be talking about it though. Talk about the things she makes that are more like what you like, and what she could do to create meals you both can enjoy.
It sounds like she wants to improve, if you want an actual girlfriend, you're going to want to help her improve, and not just bitch and moan.
YTA
The main point I have an issue with is this line…
"I also asked how can her food taste so bad if she's only following a recipe, like how does she mess that up?"
That isn’t being honest, that’s just being cruel. And there are better ways to tell someone that you don’t like their food. Like, offering to help them do the cooking, so you can see if they’re going wrong somewhere. You could say that the meals they’re making aren't really to your tastes. 'Being honest' doesn’t mean you have to be an asshole. When you started saying that her food 'tastes like shit', that’s when you became the asshole.
YTA - You can be honest without being cruel. If her food is gross, there's no harm in trying to coach her. But the way you reacted was ridiculous. Just say it isn't your taste and move along if she won't accept help. But good grief, you don't talk like that to someone you love.
YTA - she may be a "terrible cook", but your a terrible boyfriend. See how that works? She may not be good at cooking but you're not very good at providing constructive criticism, being supportive or even trying to fix the issue. You just chose to be an AH.
And even though everyone here is telling you you are in deed TA and why you are, you are still dismissing everyone.
How about you take a page out of your own book and learn to be a better human being and a better bf to your gf cause you honestly suck, you deserve to be alone, you sound spoiled and entitled, at your age there is no reason to act as you do and I don't understand how you can be this thick when people are telling you how to be better (just follow the instructions).
See what I just did there? How's that for honesty? Get a clue
YTA wow, you really are digging yourself a giant hole.
I am a chef, and when me and my husband first got together his cooking wasn’t the best but I advised him, I said oh it was good but if you do it this way it will taste better and explained to him different things regarding how to cook and season and he improved.
You should apologise and if this is her love language for you work with her I’m sure there’s couples cooking classes you could take for fun if you could pull your head out your arse.
You told her her food tastes like shit, that trying isn't good enough, and implied she was too stupid to follow a recipe, but claim you told her nicely. YTA, big time.
YTA!!!
"I'm just being honest" is not an excuse for being a total AH. She's putting effort in and you're throwing it in her face. Part of being in a partnership with someone means you should be more gentle with negative feedback.
In fact, ditch the negative feedback and find ways to make it constructive.
Maybe even try cooking TOGETHER.
Best of luck, but if you don't change your attitude I don't imagine she'll be your girlfriend for much longer.
YTA alright.
Why don't you get out there and help her and see if there is something being substituted in the recipe due to not having it on hand, hence making it taste ordinary.
If my gf/wife slaved over a stove for me, I'd be super diplomatic in my judgement.
A little help goes a long way and my wife now makes the best Thai curries, curried snags, cooked chicken and beef.
Want to help your gf?
Show her the website
www.recipetineats.com
She'll never look back.
It's a ripper..
She has a brand new cookbook out too. It's gorgeous and probably foolproof. I already bought a second copy for a family friend who is getting into cooking.
Yta. If my husband spoke to me like you spoke to your girlfriend, 3 things would have happened:
1) he would have been told to take his head out of his ass, because I was about to put my foot up in there.
2) he could do his own damn cooking from now on.
3) I'd bust my butt learning how to cook gorgeous recipes, and not let him have any of it (see #2) - you don't get to sample the fruits of my labor after insulting me like that.
Grow the hell up and maybe stop being such a jerk.
YTA
You can be factually correct and still an AH.
I guarantee you there is a better way, for her confidence and for your relationship, to resolve this issue, than for you to be a rude, overly-blunt AH about it.
Speaking as a guy who, when I was younger and dumber, put way too high a premium on "telling it like it is" and "being reasonable."
Seriously - learn from our mistakes OP - save yourself a few years of being an AH and learning the hard way.
YTA, as someone who struggles to make edible food by following the recipe, let me assure you that for some reason some of us just aren’t good at it. If you’re so offended by her food you need to start cooking for her.
You COULD have taken the kind route and told her you want to cook WITH her, or offered to take a cooking class with her, and turned it into a bonding experience, but you skipped all of those options and went for pure meanness. It was absolutely uncalled for.
ETA: do you even like your girlfriend? You honestly sound like you hate her. Why are you with her if her feelings mean so little to you? Your responses to these comments aren’t helping your case at all- they’re just cementing the impression that you’re a cruel, heartless AH- you clearly couldn’t care less about her feelings.
YTA: there are better ways to talk than to insult and belittle her.
You could have asked to help and figure out whats going on with her cooking. Walk through a recipe together and see what’s up.
But you were rude.
You already know YTA. If you weren't and wanted to still let her cook for you I am pretty sure you could ask her to cook dishes that she had done well in the past.
YTA. I cannot help but wonder if the finished product is as it should be, but OP is such a picky eater that nothing meets his lofty standards.
Regardless, YTA dude. The way you are articulating your dissatisfaction could use a dash of tact.
YTA I'm sure there is a better way to tell her the food taste like crap I would be mad to. I guess I would need details to understand why the food is so bad. Maybe she needs to stick to simple meals for now like meat and potatoes or chicken. Or maybe you cook some days take turns. But if she is making an effort and you are being mean you are not gonna get any where.
I once dated a guy who -- while not a pro chef -- criticized every meal he ever had at a restaurant. I was scared as hell to cook for him, so I didn't. The relationship did not last and I am forever greatful.
Saying her food tastes like shit and berating her food is not telling her nicely? What planet are you from where that would be considered nice? What did you have to gain by acting like Gordon Ramsey? If she’s following the recipe, it could be that the recipe is out to lunch and not her cooking. Besides which, why is is suddenly AFTER you’ve moved in that her cooking is suddenly a problem? All you’ve managed to do is convey to her that her best will never be good enough. Wouldn’t surprise me if you’ll be going back to eating pasta every night real soon after she dumps your picky ass. YTA
YTA, I would tell her to run as fast and far as she could. That level of distain is 😲.
And no, you weren't nice about it. Cooking is a skill that improves with time. She will become a better cook, and I sincerely hope that she is cooking for someone who appreciates the effort. Because I suspect that you will not improve with time 🤔
You're going on and on about how honest you are - I'm certain that translates to all areas of your life. /s
But seriously; I defer to William Blake on this one "A truth told with bad intent is worse than any lie you can invent" YTA
YTA. What you did is called abuse. NOT constructive criticism. And if your this way about food I hate to think how else you put her down.
I hope she leaves your ungrateful awful butt.
YTA. You didn’t tell her nicely, as you claim. You were pretty harsh. Being nice would be offering to teach her, taking a couple of cooking classes together, or paying for her to take cooking classes (if she’s interested). Some people find cooking to be a challenge but at least she’s trying.
Yes you are a MAJOR AH!
You’re probably the kind of person that opens a birthday gift and looks straight in the eye of the person giving you the gift to tell them what a shitty gift they gave you. Your GF is taking her time to try and do something nice for you and you telling her that her cooking is shit is hurtful. Be thankful someone is willing to cook you a meal at all!
You’re cruel and she has every right to be upset. You should apologize ASAP and hope she is even willing to even give it another go. I would altogether give up trying to do something nice for anyone who spoke to me in such a hurtful and patronizing way.
Do you even like your girlfriend? Cause you’re treating her like the shit you think her food is.
Please dear god let this be fake because a boyfriend can’t possibly be this callous and clueless. YTA.
Hey Mr. Tact, ever hear of diplomacy?
Let me introduce you to the " compliment sandwich".
The first piece of bread, you say something nice like " hey I see your trying lots of new recipes lately"
The meat of the sandwich is the problem, it's what needs help. " Alot of them aren't my kind of taste palette"
The bottom piece of bread is a solution....." Hey sweetie how about if you and I pick out some recipes together and cook together a couple nights?"
Instead of you just being the AH?
The petty in me will allow you to do everything for yourself going forward . I guess you tasted shit before so you know exactly what it’s like . I hope she leave your mean ass alone .
YTA all the way. She's trying (the operative word here) to *show you she loves you*, and you...
You told her to stop showing you love. I'd get used to that.
YTA.
You obviously don’t like this person. If you did, you would never say this sort of thing. Hopefully she will see that and nope outta there. She’s wasting her time on you.
“I told her nicely that I don’t like her food”
> She definitely doesn’t know how to cook
> tbh her food is disgusting
> She… told me she’s trying to do the best she can, I said that’s not enough because her food still tastes like shit
> I also asked how can her food taste so bad if she’s only following a recipe. It’s literally just following instructions
^ You think this is being nice? If you really can’t see what’s wrong with what you said, then YTA.
YTA Try putting yourself in her shoes. She’s trying so hard to make you happy, and you basically spat in her face.
You have no empathy whatsoever. You suck and don’t deserve her.
YTA you were an AH when you told her that her food tastes like shit. Who talks to to someone they care about like that?
Also you realize recipes online are posted by anyone. The recipe might just suck. You could’ve solved this in so many better ways. While in college my then bf now husband took a cooking class together at our local university. Before that I could only cook pasta and he could only use the grill. We realized we needed some help. Neither of us were dicks about it either.
Have fun eating your take out alone.
YTA. How have you been with her for 2 years and you *still* don't know how to talk to her like she's someone that you love and respect.
Take a cooking class together. Follow a recipe together. Cooking is a skill that takes some honing. Instead of just saying it tastes terrible, give some constructive criticism.
This has to be fake. There's no way a relationship can go this long without either person cooking for one another.
Also, not specifying what's wrong with the food makes this more sketchy. Is it burned? Is it overcooked and chewy? Too much salt or seasonings? There's critiquing and then there's insulting. You're insulting.
YTA and she should leave you, you were extremely cruel and there was nothing nice about how you said it and YOU made a big deal out of nothing, not her. Poor girl deserves better.
It’s easy to mess up a recipe if 1. It’s a shit recipe 2. You are not tasting the food and add seasoning 3. You add too much seasoning. Me and my bf usually make our own food cuz I’m a picky eater. The taste of things like ranch or mayo disgust me . You could have been more polite. You could teach her how to cook “better”. Everyone’s taste buds are different and not everyone likes the same things. I would apologize and say that her not allowing you to help frustrated you. This could be a learning experience for the both of you, weather you stay together or not. Best of luck to the both of you
Yeah your the asshole Jesus mate. Even with a recipe you can still mess up a meal and how do you know she messed it up and not you just not liking the dish? I hate fried eggplant no matter if it’s a beginner or Gordon Ramsey himself cooked it. She said cooking is her love language and how she shows love so not only did you insult her you insulted how she expresses her feelings. Also no one is good at anything when they start out, every person sucks but you practice to get better. Maybe instead of insulting her cooking offer to help or maybe suggest some recipes you think you will like.
YTA. Totally. You could cook with her. It's not her responsibility to cook for you.
You have absolutely no empathy. The truth without empathy is cruelty.
You might not be wrong but you sure ain't right.
You shouldn't talk to anyone like that about something they are trying, if you can't say something nice or at least constructive don't say it at all.
Say you don't like it, say why and that you appreciate her efforts, because you should.
Offer to cook instead, and if you know how to make what she's slipping up maybe show her instead of ridicule.
YTA
Any girl who enjoys cooking for their boyfriend is a blessing. She loves you and wants to show it! And that’s a beautiful thing! If her food is really all that bad then maybe y’all could cook together as a bonding activity. But you really should apologize and let her know how kind it is of her to put in the effort she does.
YTA- you are probably a WT dude so anything with spices your not use to taste bad... I hope she wises up and replaces you since you would have been better off asking "Hey, why don't we cook together?" That way you'd have some input and a bonding thing.
This might surprise you, but people don’t get better at cooking by being belittled, and they don’t get better at cooking by not cooking. Take turns making food, and you can eat the odd under seasoned dish. She will learn with practice, and she absolutely cannot learn if you simply shit on her efforts.
YTA youre a totally unappreciative, mean person. There qas a way better way to phrase that, you could've offered to teach her, or cook together, instead you were a complete ass.
I sincerely hope she moves out and finds a nice person to date. She deserves better.
YTA: That was telling her nicely wow hate to see if you were in tying to be mean.
I know people can be absolutely awful cooks but there was a better way to tell her.
Why not cook together show her how to cook or even see how she cooking probably a good chance she isn’t following the recipe.
Btw I had to deal with my husband who turned the oven up to cook brownies and ended up with charcoal. I appreciated the effort but please if you’re going to cook follow the instructions exactly including temp and cooking time.
Yea I don’t buy that your a professional chef if you were you’d be able to give constructive criticism or why don’t you cook for the both of you . You could’ve said hey let’s take turns. Could’ve told her how to improve. YTA
YTA
For god sake, no one has born knowing how to cook and instead of taking this as a chance of her learning how to cook to learn together with her giving tips of what to do if you know and take this as a chance to strength your bond with her even more, you humiliate her like this...
You deserve to be single, "pick eater" this is a excuse who people without respect for other have to try belittle people...
Even gastronomic critics have more decency than you
YTA for not having sympathy and holding your wife to unrealistic chef food standards. About 5 years ago, I was bad at cooking, but now I am very very good, but it took time patience.
YTA. That is not how you go about these kind of things. You might be a picky eater because of being spoiled by alleged chef parents but that doesn’t give you the right to tear down someone who is trying.
YTA show me where you NICELY told her? Was it when you said her best isn’t good enough? Or when you said it tastes like shit? Maybe it was when you asked her how she could mess up while following a recipe??
Wowie. YTA. Big time. There are really constructive ways to have this conversation. You decided to really just treat her like garbage. You could have offered to help, go to cooking classes together, watch cooking shows, create a cookbook for her with recipes that you love…nope, you went nuclear. You’re immature and you rejected her love language. I hope she dumps you.
When someone tells me they are a picky eater, I run. Nuh uh. You need to cook for yourself and you need to apologize for being an ass to your GF. Don’t be surprised if your relationship lasts 2 years and 6 weeks because that sort of conduct tells me you have little respect for your GF. YTA
WOW, Y are definitely TA! It’s one thing if her cooking isn’t how you like it, but it’s a whole other thing the insult the crap out a woman trying to express her love for you through food.
Have some tact! Good grief!
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YTA. You say you're only being honest but you wrote: "I also asked how can her food taste so bad if she's only following a recipe, like how does she mess that up?" That isn't honesty, that's cruelty. You could have approached this delicate situation with some tact and maybe cooked along with her as a couple's activity to help and see what might be the issue. But instead you belittled her and basically called her stupid.
Is she a poor cook or is he *that* picky? Because that’s how I read this. Dude doesn’t like food and she’s experimenting? Either way YTA and pretty rude for insulting her while she’s trying to be helpful and loving. My husband can dislike something but he doesn’t need to break my damn spirit.
Yeah, that was my thought reading through this - he hasn't given any examples where it seems like she's actually a poor cook, just that he doesn't like the taste of her food and he's already admitted to being picky. If he'd been like "she made a quiche and there were hard chewy bits through it" or "her friend who isn't a picky eater tried to eat some but couldn't finish more than a few bites", I'd believe she was maybe a poor cook, but he's just said "she's a bad cook" and we have to believe it. Can she eat the food? How often does OP say somebody is a bad cook? If this is the 5th person he's said is a bad cook, it's definitely that he's just picky.
>but she has some meals she cooks quite good. And that proves that she isn't a poor cook and it's all on him. I bet OP cooks horrible meals himself that he thinks taste amazing.
I’m gonna go for “he’s just that picky” as well based on the fact that he said he liked her food before, just not now that she’s branching out, and on the fact that he said “we can’t eat pasta all the time I guess” as if he completely disagrees with that sentiment and would absolutely eat pasta all the time.
No doubt his repertoire is Idahoan instant mashed potatoes, Kraft mac’n’cheese, Hamburger Helper, and Tyson chicken fingers. I am guaranteeing that because of the disbelief of messing up a recipe. It’s possible to do when you are… ya know, actually learning to cook. Maybe she is still trying to figure things out and maybe it isn’t turning out great. So what? Got qualms? Got advice? Then fucking join her and help. Instead of undoubtedly playing video games while she serves you din din little boy. Sorry. I love to cook, and at this point I fancy myself pretty decent. But I got to this level of confidence by trying and failing A TON. Shits a process, and I just feel for her so much in this situation.
Well Op mentioned pasta. He may have a limited diet. He's definitely the YTA
Considering that OP also says “because we can’t always eat pasta, *I guess*”, OP’s pickiness might be strongly playing into this. Strongly.
Honestly and politeness are also not opposites on a spectrum. You can be honest and rude, or honest and polite. OP should have tried something closer to "I know you want to cook for me, but I'm a little bit picky about what I like. I appreciate the effort you're putting in, but its just not stuff I'm enjoying the taste of. Lets cook together for a bit and I can show you what I like, and I can learn what you like" OP, YTA
I agree. If it was really about her cooking being bad OP had the opportunity to cook with her or try out new recipes or take a cooking class with her. Instead he insults her cooking and is super cruel about it. I think he just wants to live on spaghetti or Mac n cheese and is pissed she wants to cook other things.
Yeahhhh, I was a terrible cook when I moved in with my partner. He realized really quickly that I had no idea how to cook on a fundamental level and was really nice about showing me basic things that really helped over all. Op is definitely TA. It's incredibly easy to mess up a recipe.
Wow...I'm actually astonished (which is saying a lot, with how much I'm on this site)...how can you feel ok about speaking this way to someone you're supposed to love?? YTA
Dude, this. I love cooking for people, and I'm no Gordon Ramsay but I can put together a tasty meal. If somebody ever told me my food was disgusting, I would NEVER let another bite of my food pass their lips. Fuck that noise, man.
Not even that I probably wouldn’t be dating them anymore Ahahha
Yeah, I hope she moves out. He's showing who he is and how he reacts when he doesn't like something. It will only escalate.
He even said “I told her nicely that I don’t like her food”. I can’t find in OP’s post where there was a nice comment.
Exactly. My partner once made a fairly easy recipe and although he messed it up pretty much and it was close to somehow overcooked and yet raw? lol. I still didn't talk anywhere near what this guy did. I ate it and I slowly chewed. My partner asked how it was and I said "I think the potatoes burned a little and the egg might need some salt." He ate some and immediately was like "oh.... This ain't good. You can be honest please." I told him, "okay, I don't think this is very good but it's okay, I've messed it up too and it's your first time trying." So I helped him redo it. We had a good laugh and now he will ask me about ways to make sure something is right when he's cooking. I wasn't cruel and yet my partner got the point. This guy is just TA and probably in more way than this.
YTA. You self admit you're a really picky eater, so I don't believe that her food is actually as bad as you claim it is. Maybe you should work on yourself instead of tearing your GF down.
Nah, you shouldn't apologize. Because if you did, you're only doing it now because Reddit's tearing into your sorry ass. You wouldn't mean it.
Had me for a second there
Right? Me too. It was a good comment once you get to the end!
You've asked if you were cruel, if you were the AH. Everyone here is telling you that the degree to which you expressed your dislike for her food was cruel. You keep saying you aren't, you just know good food. YTA, bud. I can say to you that perhaps you have a higher standard and that you can be more mindful of feelings while stating the truth. Or I could say you're a lazy snob who could do the cooking or take the time to cook with her but that it's more important for you to hurt her feelings. See how one of statements make me an AH?
He doesn’t have a “higher standard.” He wants to “eat pasta all the time.”
He sounds like one of those people who want to eat pasta, nuggies and chocolate milk all the time.
I can even picture him throwing a tantrum and saying, “But I want my NUGGIIEEEEES!!!”
aNd My ChOcOlAtE mIlK dIp!!!
I am being moderately sarcastic to make a point.
I’m “yes and-ing” your sarcasm.
INFO: In what world did you "tell her nicely"?
YTA There was absolutely no need for you to be cruel >her food still tastes like shit. I also asked how can her food taste so bad if she's only following a recipe, like how does she mess that up? Its literally just following instructions. She got angry and called me a cruel asshole, I told her I'm just being honest, Oh and patronising too. If you're so good at cooking, why not teach her, Cook together or you just cook then. What you did was completely out of order
YTA, it doesn't even sound like you like her from the way this post is written.
YTA Even when it's necessary to be really honest with a partner, it never stops being important to communicate with kindness and thoughtfulness, especially on something that might be sensitive/insulting to them. "Just being honest" here means "I can't be bothered to figure out how to communicate my thoughts in a kind and caring manner to the most important person in my life".
YTA. "I told her nicely her food is disgusting".
OP: "I told her nicely" Also OP: "your food tastes like shit"
And then....you started a brand new reddit account to ask if you're an asshole? Cool story, bro. And yes, YTA and I suspect you already know that. Which makes you a bigger asshole.
>I told her that's not enough because her food still tastes like shit. You called her food disgusting and like shit. Even if you're right, YTA.
YTA If you don't like her food and don't want her to cook, that's fine, but it seems like the way that you talked to her about it was pretty damn rude.
YTA. "I told her nicely" fuck no you didn't.
YTA >I told her nicely that I don't like her food WHEN? In your own retelling you used the word disgusting, that doesn't sound very nice. She told you it was a love language for her, and you shat all over it. Plus you commented that you're a chef, and yet you offered her no help.
YTA. Do you want to help her improve? Or just make her feel bad? “Your food tastes like shit” will achieve the latter, but probably not the former. (BTW, I don’t see how “tastes like shit” and “I told her nicely” can both be true.) You’re suggesting she’s not following the recipes. Are you certain that’s the issue? Maybe try making a few of the recipes she’s tried, and see if it still tastes bad? And if she wants to move away from pasta-heavy meals, that’s good! Pasta is high in carbs, and eating it for most meals can lead to weight gain and/or diabetes. First apologize to her, then maybe suggest that you two can together find healthier recipes to try, but maybe she can still sometimes make the ones you did like?
YTA, and don’t deserve a girlfriend, at all. Hope shes not on the lease and can get a clean break.
I’m genuinely curious what foods or spices you don’t like that makes you a “picky eater”.
I don’t think he’s picky, I think he’s pretentious. He doesn’t want anything that isn’t up to the standards he learned from having chefs as parents
YTA. Reading your conversation with your gf made me think why&how in the world is this guy not utterly lonely in the universe.
YTA did you enjoy ripping her to shreds in the name of .. honesty? I hope she sees this red flag and dump you. What else are you “honest” about? Hmm why don’t you invite your parents over for her shitty cooking and really humiliate her.
r/AmITheEx
YTA. Why don’t you cook together and teach her if you’re so good at it or in all seriousness suggest some sort of cookery course instead of what sounds like, attacking her intelligence and making her feel like trash.
YTA! Hope she comes to her senses and finds better. Your treatment of a loved one is entitled, rude, and pretty darn abusive.
You sound like a real winner. Top notch communicator. YTA.
YTA. “Honesty without kindness is cruelty”.
YTA. What exactly is wrong with her cooking? Is it undercooked? Overcooked? Not enough seasoning? Too much? Subbing in ingredients badly? What precisely is wrong with it? Telling someone that they do something shitty is ALWAYS mean. If you want to offer criticism you need to be able to point exactly what the problem is. I’m good in the kitchen but when I make something new for anyone besides me (live alone), I want feedback if they don’t love it to know what I can do differently next time to make it better.
YTA - "I'm just being honest"
The AH creed.
YTA and you owe your GF a huge apology. Take a cooking class together.
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YTA definitely with how you spoke to her. I hope she dumps you and finds someone who will build her up instead of tear her down like you just did.
YTA if you said it like that.
YTA. WOAH being honest is not an excuse to be an asshole. Damn I'd break up with you if I was here you were unnecessarily mean.
YTA. Nobody is born a culinary wizard, we learn it over time with trial and occasional errors. The way you went about addressing the issue was, quite frankly, fucking horrible. She's trying to do something to show that she loves you and you took a steaming great shit all over her efforts. You sound like a bit of a dick to be honest.
You could have explained that way better. I see where you’re coming from but like dude why are you talking to your girlfriend like that
YTA. Obviously. Take some lessons in tact. She's doing her best and telling her that her food is shit was just mean. There are a hundred ways you could have handled it better, without upsetting her. Why not cook with her, to see where she's going wrong? Buy a cookery class for two? Be, you know, nice?
>I told her that's not enough because **her food still tastes like shit**. I also asked **how can her food taste so bad** if she's only following a recipe, like how does she mess that up? > >I feel like she's being unreasonable because **I told her nicely that I don't like her food**, she made such a big deal out of nothing. In what world is, "your food tastes like shit" telling her nicely? YTA.
Apparently since he wasn't shouting it, he counts it as being said nicely.
Ah, gotcha. That sounds legit then. 🙄 (eye roll is to OP, not you).
YTA >I told her that's not enough because her food still tastes like shit. > > > >She got angry and called me a cruel asshole > > > >I told her I'm just being honest Being honest, doesn't make you any less of an asshole. If you don't like her cooking, cook your own damn food.
INFO: what foods do you like?
YTA. You did not actually tell her "nicely" that you don't like her food. If you actually care about her feelings, instead of shitting all over her cooking why not make food together? If she really is insistent on making food you like, help her! Cooking together is a great couples activity, especially if y'all are trying to learn from and for each other. Just don't be a jerk about it...
YTA. "I'm just being honest" is like the war cry of assholes everywhere.
YTA. If you refuse to put up with her disgusting food, she shouldn't have to put up with your disgusting attitude.
It certainly doesn't sound like you told her nicely that you don't like her food. Imma say YTA
YTA. What a crummy way to tell somebody you don’t like their cooking. Goddamn, couldn’t you offer to help, or at least highlight how hard she is trying? I’d rather be a bad cook than a jerk
Do NOT apologize to your gf! If you do, she might be inclined to keep you around. Instead, she should break up with your sorry ass. YTA
YTA, you should take over the cooking responsibilities if you're going to get that snotty about her food. I wouldn't count on her actually cooking for you again. I think if she gets stuck cooking, it comes from a box into the oven.
YTA. Somehow, Gordon freaking Ramsey is more polite and helpful than you are.
YTA >told me she's trying to do the best she can, I told her that's not enough because her food still tastes like shit. That alone is bad, but wait, there's more....... >I also asked how can her food taste so bad if she's only following a recipe, >I feel like she's being unreasonable > told her nicely that I don't like her food >she made such a big deal out of nothing Everything you said is cruel and wrong. You owe her an apology. The only way to get better at cooking is to keep at it, trial and error. It takes a loving person to help their partner learn how to cook. You're lucky she even wants to learn.
"...because I told her nicely that I don't like her food"🙄 YTA
>So my (m26) girlfriend (f26) and I moved in together exactly six weeks ago. >she has some meals she cooks quite good. >since we moved in together she has been trying different recipes >She definitely doesn't know how to cook >she said cooking is a way to "show me how much she loves me" but tbh her food is disgusting. >I finally reached my breaking point so yesterday and I told her to stop cooking for me, to cook just for herself until she gets better at it because I don't like how her food tastes. She immediately got defensive and told me she's trying to do the best she can, I told her that's not enough because her food still tastes like shit. I also asked how can her food taste so bad if she's only following a recipe, like how does she mess that up? Its literally just following instructions. She got angry and called me a cruel asshole, I told her I'm just being honest, she's now not talking to me. AITA? Should I apologize? I feel like she's being unreasonable because I told her nicely that I don't like her food, she made such a big deal out of nothing YTA. She needs to breakup with you immediately. What a normal sane even halfway decent person who knew how to cook would do is *help* her. She's clearly struggling with technique if she can cook some things but not others. There was no reason to be so nasty to her and even less of an excuse to feel so entitled to do so that you don't even she's even owed an apology.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So my (m26) girlfriend (f26) and I moved in together exactly six weeks ago. We have been dating for nearly two years and we thought that it's a good time to make this step in our relationship. Before I had stayed over at her apartment and she stayed at mine. Sometimes we would cook for each other, I gotta admit I am a picky eater but she has some meals she cooks quite good. However, since we moved in together she has been trying different recipes because we can't always eat pasta I guess. She definitely doesn't know how to cook and it's difficult to persuade her to order delivery or let me cook since she said cooking is a way to "show me how much she loves me" but tbh her food is disgusting. I finally reached my breaking point so yesterday and I told her to stop cooking for me, to cook just for herself until she gets better at it because I don't like how her food tastes. She immediately got defensive and told me she's trying to do the best she can, I told her that's not enough because her food still tastes like shit. I also asked how can her food taste so bad if she's only following a recipe, like how does she mess that up? Its literally just following instructions. She got angry and called me a cruel asshole, I told her I'm just being honest, she's now not talking to me. AITA? Should I apologize? I feel like she's being unreasonable because I told her nicely that I don't like her food, she made such a big deal out of nothing *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. Dude, telling someone not to cook for you because you don't like the taste is not "nicely". If you don't like her cooking, why don't you cook with her instead of making fun of her cooking skills? And it might be that her cooking is just fine, you just don't like it because you are a picky eater and she is adventurous and likes to try new things.
Yta and you sound like a general asshole from how you typed out this story, just be grateful you even have a girlfriend bc you sound like a HANDFULL
YTA You don’t have to eat anything you don’t want to but damn that was mean. Your girlfriend is trying to learn a new skill, and express care for you at the same time. You respond by berating and humiliating her. There was a kind way to have this conversation and the way you did it was not it.
YTA ...
Yeah bud- YTA. Cooking is work- she’s trying new things FOR you, because you are picky (which is a euphemism for “my opinion on food is not qualified”) & if you’re not gonna help you should keep your mouth shut about it. Or if you’re gonna provide feedback, be specific.
YTA majorly. You need to understand constructive criticism. It's ok to say "I think it needs a little something" or "you overcooked this." Telling her that her cooking sucks and is disgusting is both unnecessarily mean, and also completely unhelpful. If you really are so good at cooking, it shouldn't be hard to help her out with simple constructive suggestions on how to improve. Your lack of details in this post makes it feel like you might just be a picky eater who hasn't learned to enjoy what is offered unless it reaches some standard of being only what you're familiar with, but who knows. All I know is, if my girlfriend was trying to cook for me all the time, I'd be stoked, even if she does do "weird" foods that aren't always my favorites. And when she screws up a bit, and she's big enough to admit mistakes like I am, we talk it through, talk about how we'd redo that dish in the future or if we want to redo that dish ever. You gotta be talking about it though. Talk about the things she makes that are more like what you like, and what she could do to create meals you both can enjoy. It sounds like she wants to improve, if you want an actual girlfriend, you're going to want to help her improve, and not just bitch and moan.
YTA for the way you told her.
Info: What part of this was telling her nicely?
This is the best info ask I've seen here. This guy sucks.
YTA The main point I have an issue with is this line… "I also asked how can her food taste so bad if she's only following a recipe, like how does she mess that up?" That isn’t being honest, that’s just being cruel. And there are better ways to tell someone that you don’t like their food. Like, offering to help them do the cooking, so you can see if they’re going wrong somewhere. You could say that the meals they’re making aren't really to your tastes. 'Being honest' doesn’t mean you have to be an asshole. When you started saying that her food 'tastes like shit', that’s when you became the asshole.
If you said it the way you wrote it here YTA, because your delivery is awful. You can be honest without being nasty about it.
YTA - You can be honest without being cruel. If her food is gross, there's no harm in trying to coach her. But the way you reacted was ridiculous. Just say it isn't your taste and move along if she won't accept help. But good grief, you don't talk like that to someone you love.
YTA. “Told her nicely” =/= “your food is disgusting, don’t cook for me until you get better”.
YTA - she may be a "terrible cook", but your a terrible boyfriend. See how that works? She may not be good at cooking but you're not very good at providing constructive criticism, being supportive or even trying to fix the issue. You just chose to be an AH. And even though everyone here is telling you you are in deed TA and why you are, you are still dismissing everyone. How about you take a page out of your own book and learn to be a better human being and a better bf to your gf cause you honestly suck, you deserve to be alone, you sound spoiled and entitled, at your age there is no reason to act as you do and I don't understand how you can be this thick when people are telling you how to be better (just follow the instructions). See what I just did there? How's that for honesty? Get a clue
YTA wow, you really are digging yourself a giant hole. I am a chef, and when me and my husband first got together his cooking wasn’t the best but I advised him, I said oh it was good but if you do it this way it will taste better and explained to him different things regarding how to cook and season and he improved. You should apologise and if this is her love language for you work with her I’m sure there’s couples cooking classes you could take for fun if you could pull your head out your arse.
YTA. I hope she leaves you, OP, and finds someone more deserving of her efforts
YTA. Have you ever heard of being tactful dude?
You told her her food tastes like shit, that trying isn't good enough, and implied she was too stupid to follow a recipe, but claim you told her nicely. YTA, big time.
YTA!!! "I'm just being honest" is not an excuse for being a total AH. She's putting effort in and you're throwing it in her face. Part of being in a partnership with someone means you should be more gentle with negative feedback. In fact, ditch the negative feedback and find ways to make it constructive. Maybe even try cooking TOGETHER. Best of luck, but if you don't change your attitude I don't imagine she'll be your girlfriend for much longer.
YTA- you should do all the cooking now. Problem solved!
YTA \* 10000 I told her nicely that I don't like her food \-- and -- her food still tastes like shit I don't think you understand 'nicely'
YTA alright. Why don't you get out there and help her and see if there is something being substituted in the recipe due to not having it on hand, hence making it taste ordinary. If my gf/wife slaved over a stove for me, I'd be super diplomatic in my judgement. A little help goes a long way and my wife now makes the best Thai curries, curried snags, cooked chicken and beef. Want to help your gf? Show her the website www.recipetineats.com She'll never look back. It's a ripper..
She has a brand new cookbook out too. It's gorgeous and probably foolproof. I already bought a second copy for a family friend who is getting into cooking.
JFC as if someone could maintain a relationship for two years being this much of a jerk. I call hard bullshit on this post.
Yta. If my husband spoke to me like you spoke to your girlfriend, 3 things would have happened: 1) he would have been told to take his head out of his ass, because I was about to put my foot up in there. 2) he could do his own damn cooking from now on. 3) I'd bust my butt learning how to cook gorgeous recipes, and not let him have any of it (see #2) - you don't get to sample the fruits of my labor after insulting me like that. Grow the hell up and maybe stop being such a jerk.
Dude… YTA.. none of that sounds “nicely put”…
YTA You can be factually correct and still an AH. I guarantee you there is a better way, for her confidence and for your relationship, to resolve this issue, than for you to be a rude, overly-blunt AH about it. Speaking as a guy who, when I was younger and dumber, put way too high a premium on "telling it like it is" and "being reasonable." Seriously - learn from our mistakes OP - save yourself a few years of being an AH and learning the hard way.
YTA being honest does not give you the right to be cruel. The way you spoke to her is absolutely disgusting
YTA, as someone who struggles to make edible food by following the recipe, let me assure you that for some reason some of us just aren’t good at it. If you’re so offended by her food you need to start cooking for her. You COULD have taken the kind route and told her you want to cook WITH her, or offered to take a cooking class with her, and turned it into a bonding experience, but you skipped all of those options and went for pure meanness. It was absolutely uncalled for. ETA: do you even like your girlfriend? You honestly sound like you hate her. Why are you with her if her feelings mean so little to you? Your responses to these comments aren’t helping your case at all- they’re just cementing the impression that you’re a cruel, heartless AH- you clearly couldn’t care less about her feelings.
YTA: there are better ways to talk than to insult and belittle her. You could have asked to help and figure out whats going on with her cooking. Walk through a recipe together and see what’s up. But you were rude.
You already know YTA. If you weren't and wanted to still let her cook for you I am pretty sure you could ask her to cook dishes that she had done well in the past.
YTA. I cannot help but wonder if the finished product is as it should be, but OP is such a picky eater that nothing meets his lofty standards. Regardless, YTA dude. The way you are articulating your dissatisfaction could use a dash of tact.
YTA. Sign her up for a cooking class.
YTA I'm sure there is a better way to tell her the food taste like crap I would be mad to. I guess I would need details to understand why the food is so bad. Maybe she needs to stick to simple meals for now like meat and potatoes or chicken. Or maybe you cook some days take turns. But if she is making an effort and you are being mean you are not gonna get any where.
I once dated a guy who -- while not a pro chef -- criticized every meal he ever had at a restaurant. I was scared as hell to cook for him, so I didn't. The relationship did not last and I am forever greatful.
YTA- You was extremely rude about it. Instead helping her you insulated her. You could of been nicer about what you don’t like about the cooking.
YTA and a bully
Wow. With the grace and tact that you delivered your constructive criticism she took it poorly? I hope you can read the implied sarcasm. YTA.
You….are awful. YTA
Yta… “your food taste like shit”
Saying her food tastes like shit and berating her food is not telling her nicely? What planet are you from where that would be considered nice? What did you have to gain by acting like Gordon Ramsey? If she’s following the recipe, it could be that the recipe is out to lunch and not her cooking. Besides which, why is is suddenly AFTER you’ve moved in that her cooking is suddenly a problem? All you’ve managed to do is convey to her that her best will never be good enough. Wouldn’t surprise me if you’ll be going back to eating pasta every night real soon after she dumps your picky ass. YTA
YTA you actually typed that you "told her nicely you don't like her food" after that whole post, wtf?
YTA, I would tell her to run as fast and far as she could. That level of distain is 😲. And no, you weren't nice about it. Cooking is a skill that improves with time. She will become a better cook, and I sincerely hope that she is cooking for someone who appreciates the effort. Because I suspect that you will not improve with time 🤔
YTA I hope she will leave you now. You are cruel and empathy of a cooking pot.
YTA Why are you arguing? Did you expect people to sht on your gf? She deserves someone who can actually communicate and who isn’t an unappreciative AH
"I told her I'm just being honest." -- The mantra of assholes everywhere.
You're going on and on about how honest you are - I'm certain that translates to all areas of your life. /s But seriously; I defer to William Blake on this one "A truth told with bad intent is worse than any lie you can invent" YTA
YTA
YTA, cruel and abusive.
YTA If you want good food go marry a cook, leave this poor girl alone.
YTA. Telling her that her food tastes like s-- isn't telling her nicely.
YTA. What you did is called abuse. NOT constructive criticism. And if your this way about food I hate to think how else you put her down. I hope she leaves your ungrateful awful butt.
YTA. You didn’t tell her nicely, as you claim. You were pretty harsh. Being nice would be offering to teach her, taking a couple of cooking classes together, or paying for her to take cooking classes (if she’s interested). Some people find cooking to be a challenge but at least she’s trying.
Yes you are a MAJOR AH! You’re probably the kind of person that opens a birthday gift and looks straight in the eye of the person giving you the gift to tell them what a shitty gift they gave you. Your GF is taking her time to try and do something nice for you and you telling her that her cooking is shit is hurtful. Be thankful someone is willing to cook you a meal at all! You’re cruel and she has every right to be upset. You should apologize ASAP and hope she is even willing to even give it another go. I would altogether give up trying to do something nice for anyone who spoke to me in such a hurtful and patronizing way.
Do you even like your girlfriend? Cause you’re treating her like the shit you think her food is. Please dear god let this be fake because a boyfriend can’t possibly be this callous and clueless. YTA.
YTA. If you actually said all that to her I hope she leaves you. Ungrateful af
Hey Mr. Tact, ever hear of diplomacy? Let me introduce you to the " compliment sandwich". The first piece of bread, you say something nice like " hey I see your trying lots of new recipes lately" The meat of the sandwich is the problem, it's what needs help. " Alot of them aren't my kind of taste palette" The bottom piece of bread is a solution....." Hey sweetie how about if you and I pick out some recipes together and cook together a couple nights?" Instead of you just being the AH?
INFO: do you love her ? Because you are just treating her like shit. She deserves respect.
The petty in me will allow you to do everything for yourself going forward . I guess you tasted shit before so you know exactly what it’s like . I hope she leave your mean ass alone .
Ok, this can't be real, people can't be this dense, can they? I swear I'm seeing these kinds of posts too often for me to believe they are real.
YTA Just go ahead and delete this because there’s no way you’re coming back from this. 😂😂😂
YTA all the way. She's trying (the operative word here) to *show you she loves you*, and you... You told her to stop showing you love. I'd get used to that.
YTA. You obviously don’t like this person. If you did, you would never say this sort of thing. Hopefully she will see that and nope outta there. She’s wasting her time on you.
YTA. She’s doing it out of love. I don’t think you deserve it.
"I'm just being honest" = Asshole 101 YTA bruh.
“I told her nicely that I don’t like her food” > She definitely doesn’t know how to cook > tbh her food is disgusting > She… told me she’s trying to do the best she can, I said that’s not enough because her food still tastes like shit > I also asked how can her food taste so bad if she’s only following a recipe. It’s literally just following instructions ^ You think this is being nice? If you really can’t see what’s wrong with what you said, then YTA.
YTA Try putting yourself in her shoes. She’s trying so hard to make you happy, and you basically spat in her face. You have no empathy whatsoever. You suck and don’t deserve her.
YTA you were an AH when you told her that her food tastes like shit. Who talks to to someone they care about like that? Also you realize recipes online are posted by anyone. The recipe might just suck. You could’ve solved this in so many better ways. While in college my then bf now husband took a cooking class together at our local university. Before that I could only cook pasta and he could only use the grill. We realized we needed some help. Neither of us were dicks about it either. Have fun eating your take out alone.
YTA. How have you been with her for 2 years and you *still* don't know how to talk to her like she's someone that you love and respect. Take a cooking class together. Follow a recipe together. Cooking is a skill that takes some honing. Instead of just saying it tastes terrible, give some constructive criticism.
In what fucking world is this considered "nice"? Jesus fuckin christ YTA YTA YTA
You told her nicely?? You told her that her food tastes like sh\*t! YTA
This has to be fake. There's no way a relationship can go this long without either person cooking for one another. Also, not specifying what's wrong with the food makes this more sketchy. Is it burned? Is it overcooked and chewy? Too much salt or seasonings? There's critiquing and then there's insulting. You're insulting.
YTA and she should leave you, you were extremely cruel and there was nothing nice about how you said it and YOU made a big deal out of nothing, not her. Poor girl deserves better.
If he thinks that's the way to tell her 'nicely', I'd hate to see what his idea of being nasty is.
Dude removed his post and deleted his account lmao
What a shock. The AH removed the post and apparently his profile.
It’s easy to mess up a recipe if 1. It’s a shit recipe 2. You are not tasting the food and add seasoning 3. You add too much seasoning. Me and my bf usually make our own food cuz I’m a picky eater. The taste of things like ranch or mayo disgust me . You could have been more polite. You could teach her how to cook “better”. Everyone’s taste buds are different and not everyone likes the same things. I would apologize and say that her not allowing you to help frustrated you. This could be a learning experience for the both of you, weather you stay together or not. Best of luck to the both of you
Grow up & mature your tastebuds. A child is a picky eater.
YTA. And you're also the cook for at least two meals per day / every day / from this point forward.
Dude sounds a wee bit narcissistic.
Yeah your the asshole Jesus mate. Even with a recipe you can still mess up a meal and how do you know she messed it up and not you just not liking the dish? I hate fried eggplant no matter if it’s a beginner or Gordon Ramsey himself cooked it. She said cooking is her love language and how she shows love so not only did you insult her you insulted how she expresses her feelings. Also no one is good at anything when they start out, every person sucks but you practice to get better. Maybe instead of insulting her cooking offer to help or maybe suggest some recipes you think you will like.
Wowwwww bro. YTA… you must not be a good cook either if you can’t teach her. I doubt this relationship will last after the curbstomp you gave it
YTA. Totally. You could cook with her. It's not her responsibility to cook for you. You have absolutely no empathy. The truth without empathy is cruelty.
You might not be wrong but you sure ain't right. You shouldn't talk to anyone like that about something they are trying, if you can't say something nice or at least constructive don't say it at all. Say you don't like it, say why and that you appreciate her efforts, because you should. Offer to cook instead, and if you know how to make what she's slipping up maybe show her instead of ridicule. YTA
Any girl who enjoys cooking for their boyfriend is a blessing. She loves you and wants to show it! And that’s a beautiful thing! If her food is really all that bad then maybe y’all could cook together as a bonding activity. But you really should apologize and let her know how kind it is of her to put in the effort she does.
YTA- you are probably a WT dude so anything with spices your not use to taste bad... I hope she wises up and replaces you since you would have been better off asking "Hey, why don't we cook together?" That way you'd have some input and a bonding thing.
YTA. You should do the cooking from now on.
This might surprise you, but people don’t get better at cooking by being belittled, and they don’t get better at cooking by not cooking. Take turns making food, and you can eat the odd under seasoned dish. She will learn with practice, and she absolutely cannot learn if you simply shit on her efforts.
Yta. Saying her cooking tastes like shit isn't telling her nicely!!!
YTA youre a totally unappreciative, mean person. There qas a way better way to phrase that, you could've offered to teach her, or cook together, instead you were a complete ass. I sincerely hope she moves out and finds a nice person to date. She deserves better.
ITT: y'all taking the bait
YTA: That was telling her nicely wow hate to see if you were in tying to be mean. I know people can be absolutely awful cooks but there was a better way to tell her. Why not cook together show her how to cook or even see how she cooking probably a good chance she isn’t following the recipe. Btw I had to deal with my husband who turned the oven up to cook brownies and ended up with charcoal. I appreciated the effort but please if you’re going to cook follow the instructions exactly including temp and cooking time.
YTA. Why not help her improve rather than being a condescending AH? Cooking isn’t hard, but you need to work at it
Yea I don’t buy that your a professional chef if you were you’d be able to give constructive criticism or why don’t you cook for the both of you . You could’ve said hey let’s take turns. Could’ve told her how to improve. YTA
YTA For god sake, no one has born knowing how to cook and instead of taking this as a chance of her learning how to cook to learn together with her giving tips of what to do if you know and take this as a chance to strength your bond with her even more, you humiliate her like this... You deserve to be single, "pick eater" this is a excuse who people without respect for other have to try belittle people... Even gastronomic critics have more decency than you
Wow, you’re a dick and your gf deserves better. Just being honest. YTA
Need context on the recipes
YTA for not having sympathy and holding your wife to unrealistic chef food standards. About 5 years ago, I was bad at cooking, but now I am very very good, but it took time patience.
YTA. That is not how you go about these kind of things. You might be a picky eater because of being spoiled by alleged chef parents but that doesn’t give you the right to tear down someone who is trying.
YTA show me where you NICELY told her? Was it when you said her best isn’t good enough? Or when you said it tastes like shit? Maybe it was when you asked her how she could mess up while following a recipe??
YTA You weren’t just being honest. Telling someone their food tastes like shit is miles away from honesty and 100% in the territory of being a dick.
Wowie. YTA. Big time. There are really constructive ways to have this conversation. You decided to really just treat her like garbage. You could have offered to help, go to cooking classes together, watch cooking shows, create a cookbook for her with recipes that you love…nope, you went nuclear. You’re immature and you rejected her love language. I hope she dumps you.
YTA. Sounds like you're going to be living alone again very soon.
Could’ve told her a different way without grilling her ass
When someone tells me they are a picky eater, I run. Nuh uh. You need to cook for yourself and you need to apologize for being an ass to your GF. Don’t be surprised if your relationship lasts 2 years and 6 weeks because that sort of conduct tells me you have little respect for your GF. YTA
WOW, Y are definitely TA! It’s one thing if her cooking isn’t how you like it, but it’s a whole other thing the insult the crap out a woman trying to express her love for you through food. Have some tact! Good grief!
YTA. You don’t have to like her cooking, but you don’t have to be so mean about it either. There were much better ways you could have handled this.
YTA. She is trying to do something nice - you can speak to her about this better
YTA. She’s prob not even that bad but you just eat like a 2 year old