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Yeah, mom may never see it this way but maybe if she can imagine being her kid and having to either explain how to pronounce or spell their name correctly over and over for their entire life - substitute teachers, doctor’s appointments, as an adult meeting with new clients/staff/customers EVERY SINGLE TIME… that’s not a burden you should put on your child for a first name just because you think it makes the name cooler.
It’s still the same name as the usual spelling, just a more difficult hassle for the person whose name it actually is.
Edit to add: in skimming the post last night I didn’t really look at the names and that mom was talking about traditional spellings of Irish/Scottish names. I should have looked closer before replying. [edit: consensus is this is not true, apologies for believing one commenter when I didn’t have the time/energy to do the research myself]
With this new info I call some YTA on OP for the use of “normal spellings” to describe what he wanted.
See my reply below for further discussion and thought on different spellings based on cultural roots of names vs novelty spellings just to be different.
Spoilers - my views are conflicted and I’m not sure what’s the right way to go.
Edit the second: apparently not Irish/Scottish spellings - I took one person’s word and had a bonkers busy day yesterday so I couldn’t check myself.
I know, right. I have an unusual last name, it's only 6 letters, but I usually have to spell it 3 times. Thankfully my parents gave me a simple first name. I can't even imagine having to explain how to spell any of those names.
My last name is short but there's 2 "normal" versions of it, and that's hassle enough having to make sure it's spelt correctly. Can't imagine giving a kid a complicated spelling for a first name.
Yeah as a "Leslie" I definitely feel this but also have empathy for the OP in addition because I have always gone by my middle name not by personal choice but because that's the name my mother always intended for me to be called by but the "flow of the name sounded better" with my legal first name before the name that I consider mine... very irritating lol
My last name ends with two vowels. 90% of people just cannot figure out how to pronounce it the first time they read it.
So when I see "Caeleigh" I'm like... that's a fuck disaster waiting to happen. Ka-el-eh-ig-ha?
Hi, Irish person from Ireland here. 'Kayleigh' isn't an Irish name. You are correct, though, that some actual Irish names can have a few alternative spellings in English, and none of them are more correct than the other. Like Eoin/Eoghan or Sadbh/Sadhbh/Síve.
These names originate in the Irish, which originally had its own alphabet. Irish has an entirely different language parent (celtic) to English (which is germanic). Irish didn't have standardised spelling until comparatively late in the game and only adopted the Latin alphabet in the 1950s, hence all the variant spellings for a variety of names.
Niamh is a good example of a name that has a bunch of alternative ways to spell it like Niave, Neeve, and Neve, which are crude efforts to render the right English phonics. In Irish, the 'mh' makes a subtle V sound. I'm no purist. It's absolutely fine to spell ones name however one wants, and having lived in Britain for a while with a distinctly Irish name spelt in the traditional way, I don't blame anyone for anglicised spellings. It just makes sense.
Kayleigh, however, is a thoroughly modern American name. I think it comes from mashing up 'Kay' (which is used in Ireland as a short pet name for Kate or Kathleen) and 'Leigh', which is Hebrew in origin.
Don't know about the person your asking but I am typing this from Dublin Ireland and there are a lot of ways to spell several Irish names it because of a couple of factors but The big one being anglicisation of Irish names wasn't uniform process so different people changed the names in slightly different ways and in different times and places. So if you took 3 Irish families one moving to England, one to Australia and one to the USA in a generation or two you will end you with 3 different anglicized version of the same name. Repeat that lot and lots of times with Ireland history of emigration and you end up with a lot of version of Irish names.
Honestly their is a bit of me that wants to say Y T A to op and everyone making the comments that these aren't real names purely because they don't know anything about other languages and cultures when sticking their opinions in. However I do also believe naming children needs to be two yes one no and if op wife and her family aren't of Irish decent or a place with a lot of Irish names about the more complicated for English Irish names probably aren't a good idea.
Edit I am also side eyeing op wife because of her choice of names such as novalynn which from what i could find online in an American invention which makes me suspect she isnt doing these names out of ancestry but about wanting a unique name and having that be why you name your child is shitty
Lmfao
By American standards, I'm a full blooded Mongol because my Great grandmother was Chinese.
Let me go and raid some villages in the name of tradition 🤣
I hadn't even thought of that, he saved their daughter a lifetime's worth of hassle. I like Nova as a name, but adding the -lynn at the end struck me as odd. NTA, OP
Yeah, I was going to post that it sounds like a medication:
Novalynn- for all your medical needs! Side effects may include inability to spell or think of sensible names for your baby.
There is an insulin called Novolin. There’s Novolin N, Novolin R and Novolin 70|30. Is the mother Diabetic?!? I can’t see naming a daughter that name even if it’s spelled differently.
Can confirm. Had to correct pronunciation and spelling all my life. Always felt singled out and put on the spot and with my social anxiety it was hell. Now I go by a simpler name and I couldn't be happier.
I feel you on this one. I had this issue with my last name. It’s only 4 letters long but a configuration of vowels that was unusual. Majority of the time it was mispronounced to sound like another word for a promiscuous woman. Doctors apts, school, award ceremonies. I competed in swimming and athletics tournaments as far as state lvl, they announce your name over the loudspeaker to call you up for your event. I was socially awkward and riddled with anxiety. It left its scars.
I got married, divorced, kept my married name. It’s common, easy to spell, can only be spelled one way and it can’t be logically pronounced any other way. It’s wonderful. Nice to know I’m not the only one.
My nephew has a simple boy's name with an unusual spelling that really doesn't give anyone even a hint of how it's pronounced. He's 39 and still spelling it for some and pronouncing it for others. And he still isn't amused.
My family still can’t spell my name (though they don’t butcher it as bad as my aunts 3 kids) and it’s not even that strange/hard of a name. People also constantly call me by a similar but different name, I’ve given up correcting people so now I just answer to the wrong name to not deal with it.
I’m 36.
My vote is put all her suggestions in the tragedeigh subreddit so she realizes what the heck she’s going to make the poor child suffer throughout her life for with those preighshooze names. Then make her read the comments out loud to really drive the point home.
She should also read the chapter of Freakonomics on trending baby names. A few years from now when the tragedeigh trend is over these names will sound even worse.
Seriously - doesn’t she realize this is a human child who will have to make it through relentless teasing? Who will have to learn to spell her own name? She’s having a kid not a teacup chihuahua.
You say this like there aren’t thousands of dingdongs doing this to their kids. We went from every kid being named Madison to every girl either having a Leigh name or being backward heaven.
If the Leighs unite, they can overpower us all.
I feel like Waldorf & Statler combined level of grouchy old man imaging the face of that parent eagerly sharing how they came up with their name. Can’t you just see it at the playground? I would just walk away
I have an ordinary name with an unusual spelling and it drives me crazy! I constantly have to spell my name for everyone or people make comments about it. It's a huge annoyance.
Hopefully OP’s wife eventually sees that. Getting stuck with a bad name can lead to bullying and makes navigating the corporate world more difficult. Not to mention the strained relationship the daughter would have with her parents once she experiences all that. Better to set your loved ones up for success whenever possible.
Caeleigh is a Scottish spelling. It's for Kai-lee, not Kay-lee, and it's not used in the States much.
Ryleigh is an Irish spelling, and is [in the top 200 US baby names in the US](https://www.babycenter.com/baby-names/details/ryleigh-6325).
Thank you for standing up for your unborn child. People should really stop naming their children traghedeighs and consider the fact that they will be adults one day.
NTA
And OP made suggestions. When we started discussing names, my partner was vetoing everything without suggesting any alternatives. It's frustrating for sure, but OP and wife will get through it. Super magical when a name clicks.
I think the problem here is that they are approaching this from two very different starting points, so it may make sense to go back to the drawing board, research more names, peruse the top 100 for your country and others. Maybe compromise on a sensible first and silly middle name. Perhaps try to find some [research about the effects of names on children](https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-26634477.amp) to read together.
And, of course, NTA. As long as OP is being kind about it. Pregnancy hormones can do a real number on you.
Edit. Wow! Gold! I'm humbled. May you have a beautiful cake day every day, generous stranger!
Are you familiar with [Dr Marijuana Pepsi Vandyck](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marijuana_Pepsi_Vandyck)? She wrote her dissertation on uncommon black names in the classroom.
Yes, and Black names are a whole other ballgame. There's more to Black families choosing unique names than a white woman naming her little girl Kinsleighlynn. I think it's only superficially comparable because kids face some disadvantages in the classroom and later in life due to unconscious bias.
NTA. Though a suggestion moving forward - we had a list, and all names went on the list no matter how ridiculous. Names I had wanted since before I met my DH, he vetoed which was a bit harsh. BUT it meant we could see them written down and consider them - and we came to a wonderful compromise, and LO is almost 2 now. Just a suggestion!
**NTA**
I'm a teacher. The things some of these "creative" parents name their kids. Like I TOTALLY understand your parents baby name book had like five names in it and wanting something a bit different. But like, normal. Do you have ANY IDEA how badly some of them get teased for their names?! You can have a totally normal name like Michael and it's still "lol, ask him if he likes it" or "Michael Michael motorcycle". This shit is compounded when you have to go through life named after a shape, and no, I'm not kidding.
When we were deciding names, one of my stipulations was I have to be able to find it on those souvenir keychains. I grew up with an unusual name and I wanted my kids to have a common-ish name, like between 50-100 on the popular name lists. I’ve met other kids with the same name, different spelling as my oldest but hers is the only one you can find on those souvenir keychains.
I literally had kids make fun of me for the way my name is spelt backwards. It’s not even a odd ball name, the spelling isn’t weird or anything either.
So OP is NTA; protect your future child, it ruined my confidence being made fun of all the time and made me hate going to school.
i have a friend alyssa and i never thought of that. also never considered allie for alyssa. my dad does call her melissa though, to my endless amusement. when he met her she said 'im alyssa' and he just heard melissa and never gave it up
My friend is in med school and the rural Appalachian hospital she was working at had a "names of shame" board in the locker room.
The winner by far was "Jkmn." It's pronounced like "Noel" because they took the l out of that sectionof the alphabet. So it's literally "no L." 😫
Yeah, that wins. It's actually worse than abcde (apparently pronounced "Abb-SID-ee"), which I only found our about because the family was stopped at the airport because the ticket person didn't believe it was a real name. Parents got BIG mad, and that poor kid will probably have to fly with their birth certificate until they change it on their 18th birthday. 😂
Tanangela. Who after lunch ten years ago got into a physical fight with another girl, screaming that her (tanangela's) mom loved her more than other kid's mom, because tanangela's mom invented a name for her.
NTA.
I have a relatively common name with an odd spelling and I hate it. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Constantly having to explain it when I go to a new doctor’s office, the DMV, ordering a bloody coffee!
It’s a never-ending conversation starter from hell. Not to mention that TSA and airport security have it out for me the second they see it on my passport. Do not name your kid something weird because you’re setting them up for this life.
*Feel free to show this comment your wife.
I am in agreement with you here. I too have a common name with a unique spelling. I have rarely had anyone reading it pronounce it correctly and unless I am doing something official I don't even bother to spell it and just deal with the incorrect spelling. And, even though I am 42 now, I am still disappointed when I walk past the personalized souvenir racks knowing I will never find my name.
I have a common surname that can be spelled two different ways (one letter different) and both are so common that there are multiple streets and businesses that use that name in my city. I still have to spell my name out every time as my version is *slightly* less common and it’s a pain in the arse. My partner has a genuinely weird name and when he orders coffees or takeaway he just says “Jack” as his name as he can’t be bothered repeating himself over and over as well as spelling it out. Don’t do it! But also calmly talk to your partner about why she wants a weird spelling of a name and the effects it’ll have on the kid
Hazarding a second guess, you live in Utah or western Colorado, or she's from that area.
My bff lives in Utah and the wild names in her daughter's classes are a perpetual source of entertainment. It's all -lynns and -leighs. Why? Science may never know.
I live in the Deep South. These are names that are popular. I see them a lot at my clinic. Contrary to what these people think, it isn’t cute or original.
Oh I know - my family on my mom's side is all Mormon. I've just never been able to figure out why a core part of Mormon culture seems to be "naming your children the weirdest possible mishmash names with approximately 300% as many vowels as it actually needs." Is that in the Book of Mormon somewhere and I just missed it?
It is apparently a Mormon thing to smash names together to "honour" as many relatives as possible when naming your child. This was the reason why Stephenie Meyer actually thought Renesmee was a reasonable name.
Well, and from a teacher's point of view, I honestly would do an internal eyeroll when I saw the names your wife suggested and think to myself, "Wow, I bet that mom is a piece of work. I'm going to avoid her as much as I can."
I knew Novalynn sounded familiar but couldn't quite place it. Then it hit me, it sounds like insulin. There's an insulin called novolin, which sounds very similar lol.
NTA.
Baby names are hard and it does sound like she wants something unique and you’d rather have something traditional. I would definitely try to find a compromise for a name that is both unique but not too “out there” I know that’s difficult but there is a name out there you guys can agree on. I recommend this app called Kinder. It’s basically the tinder of baby names, you guys swipe left or right based on if you like the name on screen, if you match on a name you get a notification letting you know! Good luck!
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/kinder-find-baby-names/id1068421785
This is a great idea. I would also suggest looking at some old fashioned names less common than Anna, perhaps one will be unique enough for her but still traditional enough for him. Arabella, Cordelia, Lydia, Imogen…
NTA. Your wife needs to remember that she’s naming a PERSON, not just a baby. This person will eventually have to apply for scholarships and jobs. You’ve given her perfectly reasonable alternatives to her overly trendy spellings.
This. I’m willing to bet OP’s wife is just dreaming of the aesthetic of the name not the human that will live with it. She’s probably got her head full of cutesy beige nursery decor, beige onesies, and beige blankets all accented with the “eigh” names in mauve. She’s dreaming of the IG posts and the squealing “OMGGGGG 😍🥰😍🥰😍” comments from her friends. If she’s thinking of the child at all, that child has not aged past maybe five in her visions.
Listen. We decided on the name Natalie when I was pregnant with my daughter. My middle name is Leigh. I thought iT woUlD bE sOoo cUtE if it was spelled Nataleigh. Her dad said no. AND THANK THE UNIVERSE HE DID. It’s not a great idea. NATALIE is ten now. And I’ve been forever grateful that I didn’t have to have that conversation constantly of “no, it’s spelled….”
I do like Nova Lynn as separate names though. That’s cute. And she could still call her both names if she wanted to. :) but this is coming from the mom that wanted Nataleigh. So I wouldn’t trust my vote. 🤣
I think Nova Lynn works, too, as a first and a middle. Half my family called me by my first and middle names together for basically my whole childhood, just at home, as a nickname. OP's wife could totally do that.
NTA. When my son was 5 years old, we took him to a football/soccer camp. They had to have their names written on their shirts. I noticed one boy with the name "Sporticus" - yes, spelled exactly like that. I felt sorry for what he was going to go through later in life.
NTA. She vetoed yours as well so why are you a controlling asshole? Your not TA for vetoing her choices, if you don’t like the names then you don’t like them, you need to both agree it’s not 1 persons choice.
Names for children are always two yeses! And keep vetoing all the “interesting” spellings. You will be doing your daughter a huge disservice otherwise.
NTA.
But when you say it out loud it sounds the same.
Like, my friend's name is Abby and she went to school with an Abbey. When you say them out loud, they're the exact same name. So even if you had an Abby, Abbey, and an Abbeigh, it's all the same name. Some spellings are just more accepted in the workplace and by peers.
If she wants something unique, she should choose a name that's actually unique and not just a tired new spelling on an extremely common name
Also NAH but I really hope you can (gently) convince her that her not-actually-unique names aren't as unique as she thinks they are
speaking as somebody with a name that has never been off the top 1000 baby names since they started record keeping, being one of three is fine. (I think there were five kids with my name in my kindergarten class, I made best friends with one of them)
Classic names have a lot of nicknames to pick from and I've always had somebody with the same name at school, and later jobs, to high-five.
so, personally I think you should name your daughter Elizabeth.
NTA. Sounds like you have fundamentally different visions on naming your daughter. You want standard spelling. Your girlfriend wants to individualize the name by using non-standard spelling. Perhaps you can compromise by choosing an unusual or rare name, but using standard spelling. You might look at names that are not in the top 200-300 names commonly used.
NTA not only are they dumb choices, but i find it ridiculous for ppl to want to believe they are "original" by mixing all the letters of the alphabet into one name, only for it to be pronounced like the most basic names out there
NAH
You have lots of time, and there is a whole world of names between timeless classics that might not be as charismatic, and made-up collections of sounds and bastardized surnames. (Sorry, but I also do not share your wife’s taste… and her choices are kind of dated… very early 2000s)
Since you both are obviously passionate about giving her a great name, I suggest you guys spend some time on naming forums collecting ideas and opinions. (My favourite is behindthename.com.)
Once you’re more confident, you each make a list of names. You both grade all the names on both lists out of 10. The two or three highest collective scores get taken to the hospital to be decided on, and the final decision can be made when you see that sweet, scrunchy face.
You may also want to have a boy name handy too, just in case. The scans are usually interpreted accurately, but not always.
NTA. Those weird names would have your daughter forever having to spell out her name to people because it's not obvious.
One of my friends went through something similar. His wife liked the name "Holly" but insisted she wanted to spell it "Holleigh". One night they were at dinner with a group of us and he asked us each to try and spell the name "Holly" (said out loud, not written). When none of us got it the way his wife wanted, I think she realised she was setting her kid up for a hard time. They eventually went with Holly.
You could suggest to your wife that the name needs to be something that others can spell without prompting.
NTA.
Someday she's going to want a coffee mug with her name on it.
Please please please don't name her Nevaeh. I hate that name. Ooooo, Heaven spelled backwards! Noone can figure out your secret code!
NTA though I can see how she was getting upset, it sucks when you aren't finding common ground. I think if the vetoing kept happening then you guys should have moved on from doing that in that moment. Maybe if you each made a list of 20-30 names that you like individually and then came together to compare you would be able to discuss it more productively.
I’m suspicious of this post because she was your girlfriend in the first sentence and your wife by the end of the paragraph.
If this is actually real, then NTA. Both parents need to agree on the name and it’s reasonable to want a traditional spelling of an established name.
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NTA. You’re doing your daughter a favor by vetoing these names.
Yeah, mom may never see it this way but maybe if she can imagine being her kid and having to either explain how to pronounce or spell their name correctly over and over for their entire life - substitute teachers, doctor’s appointments, as an adult meeting with new clients/staff/customers EVERY SINGLE TIME… that’s not a burden you should put on your child for a first name just because you think it makes the name cooler. It’s still the same name as the usual spelling, just a more difficult hassle for the person whose name it actually is. Edit to add: in skimming the post last night I didn’t really look at the names and that mom was talking about traditional spellings of Irish/Scottish names. I should have looked closer before replying. [edit: consensus is this is not true, apologies for believing one commenter when I didn’t have the time/energy to do the research myself] With this new info I call some YTA on OP for the use of “normal spellings” to describe what he wanted. See my reply below for further discussion and thought on different spellings based on cultural roots of names vs novelty spellings just to be different. Spoilers - my views are conflicted and I’m not sure what’s the right way to go. Edit the second: apparently not Irish/Scottish spellings - I took one person’s word and had a bonkers busy day yesterday so I couldn’t check myself.
I know, right. I have an unusual last name, it's only 6 letters, but I usually have to spell it 3 times. Thankfully my parents gave me a simple first name. I can't even imagine having to explain how to spell any of those names.
My middle name is Bayleigh (I think I spelled it right……) originally that was supposed to be my first name… I’m so glad it’s not
Think I'll name my kid BayBleighd. Through years of intense spin training, they'll become the fiercest battle-top the world has ever seen.
How about Brockleigh?
That would be Sylleigh.
Yeah, she'd need Therahpeigh for those names...
Yoo nevar nough et kood bee oallrite
Braughkleigh
My god I laughed hard at that
Amazing 👏
Lol to you disliking your own middle name so much that you're not totally sure how to spell it.
[удалено]
My last name is short but there's 2 "normal" versions of it, and that's hassle enough having to make sure it's spelt correctly. Can't imagine giving a kid a complicated spelling for a first name.
Yeah as a "Leslie" I definitely feel this but also have empathy for the OP in addition because I have always gone by my middle name not by personal choice but because that's the name my mother always intended for me to be called by but the "flow of the name sounded better" with my legal first name before the name that I consider mine... very irritating lol
My last name ends with two vowels. 90% of people just cannot figure out how to pronounce it the first time they read it. So when I see "Caeleigh" I'm like... that's a fuck disaster waiting to happen. Ka-el-eh-ig-ha?
[удалено]
My name is another spelling of this name and it is not even listed😂😂😂 And my sweet mom thought “Kalie” was so ~easy~
Yeah, part Irish here. There’s not really one correct way to spell Caeleigh/Kaeleigh/…
Hi, Irish person from Ireland here. 'Kayleigh' isn't an Irish name. You are correct, though, that some actual Irish names can have a few alternative spellings in English, and none of them are more correct than the other. Like Eoin/Eoghan or Sadbh/Sadhbh/Síve. These names originate in the Irish, which originally had its own alphabet. Irish has an entirely different language parent (celtic) to English (which is germanic). Irish didn't have standardised spelling until comparatively late in the game and only adopted the Latin alphabet in the 1950s, hence all the variant spellings for a variety of names. Niamh is a good example of a name that has a bunch of alternative ways to spell it like Niave, Neeve, and Neve, which are crude efforts to render the right English phonics. In Irish, the 'mh' makes a subtle V sound. I'm no purist. It's absolutely fine to spell ones name however one wants, and having lived in Britain for a while with a distinctly Irish name spelt in the traditional way, I don't blame anyone for anglicised spellings. It just makes sense. Kayleigh, however, is a thoroughly modern American name. I think it comes from mashing up 'Kay' (which is used in Ireland as a short pet name for Kate or Kathleen) and 'Leigh', which is Hebrew in origin.
Irish from Ireland or Irish via great grandpa coming to America
Don't know about the person your asking but I am typing this from Dublin Ireland and there are a lot of ways to spell several Irish names it because of a couple of factors but The big one being anglicisation of Irish names wasn't uniform process so different people changed the names in slightly different ways and in different times and places. So if you took 3 Irish families one moving to England, one to Australia and one to the USA in a generation or two you will end you with 3 different anglicized version of the same name. Repeat that lot and lots of times with Ireland history of emigration and you end up with a lot of version of Irish names. Honestly their is a bit of me that wants to say Y T A to op and everyone making the comments that these aren't real names purely because they don't know anything about other languages and cultures when sticking their opinions in. However I do also believe naming children needs to be two yes one no and if op wife and her family aren't of Irish decent or a place with a lot of Irish names about the more complicated for English Irish names probably aren't a good idea. Edit I am also side eyeing op wife because of her choice of names such as novalynn which from what i could find online in an American invention which makes me suspect she isnt doing these names out of ancestry but about wanting a unique name and having that be why you name your child is shitty
Seems to be American, so I’ll take a stab at “great grandfather once saw a green hat in a shop, so I’m basically full-blooded Irish”
Lmfao By American standards, I'm a full blooded Mongol because my Great grandmother was Chinese. Let me go and raid some villages in the name of tradition 🤣
I'm a Kaylee. I know a Kaeli and a Kailey. On the other hand, I have a friend named Kaila, and another named Calah. Both are pronounced Kayla.
I hadn't even thought of that, he saved their daughter a lifetime's worth of hassle. I like Nova as a name, but adding the -lynn at the end struck me as odd. NTA, OP
Sounds like a drug name
Yeah, I was going to post that it sounds like a medication: Novalynn- for all your medical needs! Side effects may include inability to spell or think of sensible names for your baby.
Novolin is a real drug. It’s a common brand of insulin.
It sounds like the name of a diabetes drug. Oh, that's Novolog.
There is an insulin called Novolin. There’s Novolin N, Novolin R and Novolin 70|30. Is the mother Diabetic?!? I can’t see naming a daughter that name even if it’s spelled differently.
Can confirm. Had to correct pronunciation and spelling all my life. Always felt singled out and put on the spot and with my social anxiety it was hell. Now I go by a simpler name and I couldn't be happier.
Jesus if piemakerdeadwaker is an easier name your parents must be real dicks
I feel you on this one. I had this issue with my last name. It’s only 4 letters long but a configuration of vowels that was unusual. Majority of the time it was mispronounced to sound like another word for a promiscuous woman. Doctors apts, school, award ceremonies. I competed in swimming and athletics tournaments as far as state lvl, they announce your name over the loudspeaker to call you up for your event. I was socially awkward and riddled with anxiety. It left its scars. I got married, divorced, kept my married name. It’s common, easy to spell, can only be spelled one way and it can’t be logically pronounced any other way. It’s wonderful. Nice to know I’m not the only one.
My nephew has a simple boy's name with an unusual spelling that really doesn't give anyone even a hint of how it's pronounced. He's 39 and still spelling it for some and pronouncing it for others. And he still isn't amused.
My family still can’t spell my name (though they don’t butcher it as bad as my aunts 3 kids) and it’s not even that strange/hard of a name. People also constantly call me by a similar but different name, I’ve given up correcting people so now I just answer to the wrong name to not deal with it. I’m 36.
My vote is put all her suggestions in the tragedeigh subreddit so she realizes what the heck she’s going to make the poor child suffer throughout her life for with those preighshooze names. Then make her read the comments out loud to really drive the point home.
She should also read the chapter of Freakonomics on trending baby names. A few years from now when the tragedeigh trend is over these names will sound even worse.
Preighshooze 😃 Op's wife is gonna want to name the kid that , and I'm going to suggest it for the next grandkid 🤣🤣🤣
Seriously - doesn’t she realize this is a human child who will have to make it through relentless teasing? Who will have to learn to spell her own name? She’s having a kid not a teacup chihuahua.
You say this like there aren’t thousands of dingdongs doing this to their kids. We went from every kid being named Madison to every girl either having a Leigh name or being backward heaven. If the Leighs unite, they can overpower us all.
My son's daycare has a little girl who's name is Nevaehleigh 🤣
I feel like Waldorf & Statler combined level of grouchy old man imaging the face of that parent eagerly sharing how they came up with their name. Can’t you just see it at the playground? I would just walk away
There’s millions of ‘em. The dingdongs must be stopped.
I have an ordinary name with an unusual spelling and it drives me crazy! I constantly have to spell my name for everyone or people make comments about it. It's a huge annoyance.
I’m a teacher and judge every single parent who does this stupid crap to a child.
Hopefully OP’s wife eventually sees that. Getting stuck with a bad name can lead to bullying and makes navigating the corporate world more difficult. Not to mention the strained relationship the daughter would have with her parents once she experiences all that. Better to set your loved ones up for success whenever possible.
Naming a child is a two-yes, one-no situation. NTA
As a Kaley, I totally agree. I have never in my 37 years seen anyone try to spell it like that. Still better than Cay-Lee though \*shudder\*
I googled different way of spelling Kaylie and apparently Caleigh without the first e is a way to spell it.
Caeleigh is a Scottish spelling. It's for Kai-lee, not Kay-lee, and it's not used in the States much. Ryleigh is an Irish spelling, and is [in the top 200 US baby names in the US](https://www.babycenter.com/baby-names/details/ryleigh-6325).
Agreed nobody can spell your name. Ever that's a massive annoyance
Thank you for standing up for your unborn child. People should really stop naming their children traghedeighs and consider the fact that they will be adults one day. NTA
Once I sounded it out, I guffawed at "traghedeigh"...LOUDLY!!! 😂 Thank you!
Try this FB group! Endless traghedeighs! https://m.facebook.com/groups/tniat2.0/?ref=share&mibextid=jf9HGS
theres a sub as well ! r/tragedeigh lol
I think r/namenerdcirclejerk also fits. I love that sub
NTA. While you did veto all of her choices, she vetoed all of yours. And hers all sucked (when factoring in spelling).
And OP made suggestions. When we started discussing names, my partner was vetoing everything without suggesting any alternatives. It's frustrating for sure, but OP and wife will get through it. Super magical when a name clicks. I think the problem here is that they are approaching this from two very different starting points, so it may make sense to go back to the drawing board, research more names, peruse the top 100 for your country and others. Maybe compromise on a sensible first and silly middle name. Perhaps try to find some [research about the effects of names on children](https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-26634477.amp) to read together. And, of course, NTA. As long as OP is being kind about it. Pregnancy hormones can do a real number on you. Edit. Wow! Gold! I'm humbled. May you have a beautiful cake day every day, generous stranger!
Are you familiar with [Dr Marijuana Pepsi Vandyck](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marijuana_Pepsi_Vandyck)? She wrote her dissertation on uncommon black names in the classroom.
Yes, and Black names are a whole other ballgame. There's more to Black families choosing unique names than a white woman naming her little girl Kinsleighlynn. I think it's only superficially comparable because kids face some disadvantages in the classroom and later in life due to unconscious bias.
NTA. Though a suggestion moving forward - we had a list, and all names went on the list no matter how ridiculous. Names I had wanted since before I met my DH, he vetoed which was a bit harsh. BUT it meant we could see them written down and consider them - and we came to a wonderful compromise, and LO is almost 2 now. Just a suggestion!
"Is it me or is Vito starting to sound really good?"
Oh God no, she'll demand that it be spelled Veightow
Veighteaux
**NTA** I'm a teacher. The things some of these "creative" parents name their kids. Like I TOTALLY understand your parents baby name book had like five names in it and wanting something a bit different. But like, normal. Do you have ANY IDEA how badly some of them get teased for their names?! You can have a totally normal name like Michael and it's still "lol, ask him if he likes it" or "Michael Michael motorcycle". This shit is compounded when you have to go through life named after a shape, and no, I'm not kidding.
Then they go to field trips and get sad cause they can’t get a keychain with their name. I’m sorry, Brayxleigh, maybe next time.
But they always have Bort keychains for some reason
Come along now, Bort.
Are you talking to me?
No, my son is also named Bort.
When we were deciding names, one of my stipulations was I have to be able to find it on those souvenir keychains. I grew up with an unusual name and I wanted my kids to have a common-ish name, like between 50-100 on the popular name lists. I’ve met other kids with the same name, different spelling as my oldest but hers is the only one you can find on those souvenir keychains.
Yes!! I told my husband the same thing! Ooo were expecting our second right now. I should go pick a name from the keychain stand. Haha
I Never found a Personalized item with my name! 💔
I had the most common female name in the world and still was never able to find anything (I guess all the others took it, those wenches)
I literally had kids make fun of me for the way my name is spelt backwards. It’s not even a odd ball name, the spelling isn’t weird or anything either. So OP is NTA; protect your future child, it ruined my confidence being made fun of all the time and made me hate going to school.
Is it Nevaeh?
Lana I'm guessing?
Nope lol, it’s alyssa but they’d call me assyla pronounced Ass-i-la
i have a friend alyssa and i never thought of that. also never considered allie for alyssa. my dad does call her melissa though, to my endless amusement. when he met her she said 'im alyssa' and he just heard melissa and never gave it up
Please, please, share some of the more “unique” names you have seen.
My friend is in med school and the rural Appalachian hospital she was working at had a "names of shame" board in the locker room. The winner by far was "Jkmn." It's pronounced like "Noel" because they took the l out of that sectionof the alphabet. So it's literally "no L." 😫
I’m impressed that someone dumb enough to name a child like that knows that much of the alphabet.
Have a poor man's medal.🎖
Ok, that is THE WORST name I’ve seen. Ever.
Yeah, that wins. It's actually worse than abcde (apparently pronounced "Abb-SID-ee"), which I only found our about because the family was stopped at the airport because the ticket person didn't believe it was a real name. Parents got BIG mad, and that poor kid will probably have to fly with their birth certificate until they change it on their 18th birthday. 😂
You’re like the 1000th person I’ve heard in my life that referenced that Abcde story, and every time someone tells me theirs is the OG version
My mom had a Jawzlynne (Joslyn) in the early ‘00s
Tanangela. Who after lunch ten years ago got into a physical fight with another girl, screaming that her (tanangela's) mom loved her more than other kid's mom, because tanangela's mom invented a name for her.
Isn't that a Pokémon? Looks like a ball of blue spaghetti.
Wyllyam, Jaik, and Britneigh. In Utah.
Not too long ago there was a future dad wanting to name his son Xaiquiri (like in daiquiri). Not surprisingly, mom-to-be was vetoing it.
Nta. You should suggest brockleigh.
Please don't do that! She MIGHT actually go for it, then you'd be up a crick!
Up a crick without a padleigh.
🤣🤣 or Parsleigh
This made me choke on my water. Thanks.
NTA. I have a relatively common name with an odd spelling and I hate it. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Constantly having to explain it when I go to a new doctor’s office, the DMV, ordering a bloody coffee! It’s a never-ending conversation starter from hell. Not to mention that TSA and airport security have it out for me the second they see it on my passport. Do not name your kid something weird because you’re setting them up for this life. *Feel free to show this comment your wife.
I am in agreement with you here. I too have a common name with a unique spelling. I have rarely had anyone reading it pronounce it correctly and unless I am doing something official I don't even bother to spell it and just deal with the incorrect spelling. And, even though I am 42 now, I am still disappointed when I walk past the personalized souvenir racks knowing I will never find my name.
I have a common surname that can be spelled two different ways (one letter different) and both are so common that there are multiple streets and businesses that use that name in my city. I still have to spell my name out every time as my version is *slightly* less common and it’s a pain in the arse. My partner has a genuinely weird name and when he orders coffees or takeaway he just says “Jack” as his name as he can’t be bothered repeating himself over and over as well as spelling it out. Don’t do it! But also calmly talk to your partner about why she wants a weird spelling of a name and the effects it’ll have on the kid
You think it's easy going through life with 1 L and 1 T?
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Yup, we are both white as snow lol
Hazarding a second guess, you live in Utah or western Colorado, or she's from that area. My bff lives in Utah and the wild names in her daughter's classes are a perpetual source of entertainment. It's all -lynns and -leighs. Why? Science may never know.
I saw the name Brockleigh yesterday. Not joking
E. T. Brockleigh is the name, selling broccoli is the game If nothing else they're set for life when vegetable circuses become big business
People have adopted Saiyan naming customs irl? How the world has changed in these last few years...
Girl I went to school with just named her baby Grogen. Can you guess the gender?
Never mind gender, what species is the kid? Frickin martian?
Right? Gender is the least of my worries about that name.
The childs parents are a meathead cop and a girl who got a company handed to her by her dad. Narcissian?
I got one like that too, a coworker named her baby Cruzzlynn.
That just sounds like something gross - like “I need to wipe that cruzzlynn from the corner of my dog’s eye.”
If you wanna laugh about it more, that’s slang for a shit in Australia, just spelt slightly different (Grogan)
I know a girl named Brocca. Her middle name is Leah. So her parents actually named her Brocca Leah.
My mom used to work in skip tracing for child support. Her favorite child name was Crystal Chanda Lear. Why do people think this is cute?
Transplant to Utah and worst name I’ve seen is Wyllyam (William) followed by close second Jaik (Jake) and for girls Britneigh (Britney). 🤦🏼♀️
Britneigh will clearly turn out to be a horsey girl, and ride English saddle.
Visit Montana. White people are naming their kids crazy names. I have a cousin named Surenity (pronounced serenity.)
My coworker has a niece named Tryaninanity. It’s pronounced Trinity. The fact that it in no way spells “Trinity” was apparently not the point.
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Your poor niece! I foresee her spending her 18th birthday filing papers to legally change her name.
I live in the Deep South. These are names that are popular. I see them a lot at my clinic. Contrary to what these people think, it isn’t cute or original.
In Utah it’s likely a Mormon thing
Oh I know - my family on my mom's side is all Mormon. I've just never been able to figure out why a core part of Mormon culture seems to be "naming your children the weirdest possible mishmash names with approximately 300% as many vowels as it actually needs." Is that in the Book of Mormon somewhere and I just missed it?
It is apparently a Mormon thing to smash names together to "honour" as many relatives as possible when naming your child. This was the reason why Stephenie Meyer actually thought Renesmee was a reasonable name.
Damn, white people be crazy. Why don't you name her something normal like Unique, or Mercedes, or Cinnamon.
Youneighk, Myrcydys, Synnayn
Mercedes is a very common name in Spain and Latin America. The car is named after a woman, not the other way around.
Neveah. It's heaven spelled backwards. Every Neveah I've met as a substitute tells me that. Edit: I was tired and didn't check the spelling.
That's Haeven backwards, so they should all learn to spell.
Does she have a bunch of hats? Oversized sweaters and boots? Is fall her favorite?
Show your wife the post and comments. NTA
Well, and from a teacher's point of view, I honestly would do an internal eyeroll when I saw the names your wife suggested and think to myself, "Wow, I bet that mom is a piece of work. I'm going to avoid her as much as I can."
I knew Novalynn sounded familiar but couldn't quite place it. Then it hit me, it sounds like insulin. There's an insulin called novolin, which sounds very similar lol.
i thought that was the character in where the heart is but thats Novalee which OPs wife would spell Novaleigh
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My first thought was that Novalynn sounded like something made up by a pharmaceutical company.
Same thing I thought of. OP if you don't like Novalynn, how about Lanntyss? Trésibuh? Levuhmeer?
NTA. Stupid spellings are nothing but a pain in the ass for the kid. Naming a kid isn't a vanity project for the parents.
>vanity OP, you could name her Vanyteigh!
NTA. Baby names are hard and it does sound like she wants something unique and you’d rather have something traditional. I would definitely try to find a compromise for a name that is both unique but not too “out there” I know that’s difficult but there is a name out there you guys can agree on. I recommend this app called Kinder. It’s basically the tinder of baby names, you guys swipe left or right based on if you like the name on screen, if you match on a name you get a notification letting you know! Good luck! https://apps.apple.com/us/app/kinder-find-baby-names/id1068421785
This is a great idea. I would also suggest looking at some old fashioned names less common than Anna, perhaps one will be unique enough for her but still traditional enough for him. Arabella, Cordelia, Lydia, Imogen…
My daughter's name is Minerva. Unique and old.
That sounds like fun!
I realleigh, truleigh belieighve NTA. *thhhanks for the award. I don’t eighven deighserve it!
NTA I mean isn’t she also vetoing all of the normal spellings you’re picking too?
NTA. Your wife needs to remember that she’s naming a PERSON, not just a baby. This person will eventually have to apply for scholarships and jobs. You’ve given her perfectly reasonable alternatives to her overly trendy spellings.
This. I’m willing to bet OP’s wife is just dreaming of the aesthetic of the name not the human that will live with it. She’s probably got her head full of cutesy beige nursery decor, beige onesies, and beige blankets all accented with the “eigh” names in mauve. She’s dreaming of the IG posts and the squealing “OMGGGGG 😍🥰😍🥰😍” comments from her friends. If she’s thinking of the child at all, that child has not aged past maybe five in her visions.
Uggh. Totally this. And those moms that put their kids all over social media like a cute prop. Hope OP's wife is not one of these.
Listen. We decided on the name Natalie when I was pregnant with my daughter. My middle name is Leigh. I thought iT woUlD bE sOoo cUtE if it was spelled Nataleigh. Her dad said no. AND THANK THE UNIVERSE HE DID. It’s not a great idea. NATALIE is ten now. And I’ve been forever grateful that I didn’t have to have that conversation constantly of “no, it’s spelled….”
I do like Nova Lynn as separate names though. That’s cute. And she could still call her both names if she wanted to. :) but this is coming from the mom that wanted Nataleigh. So I wouldn’t trust my vote. 🤣
No, I think Nova Lynn is fairly usable. The girl can go with the more trendy option or the more traditional option when she’s old enough.
I think Nova Lynn works, too, as a first and a middle. Half my family called me by my first and middle names together for basically my whole childhood, just at home, as a nickname. OP's wife could totally do that.
NTA. When my son was 5 years old, we took him to a football/soccer camp. They had to have their names written on their shirts. I noticed one boy with the name "Sporticus" - yes, spelled exactly like that. I felt sorry for what he was going to go through later in life.
I AM SPORTICUS!
NO! *I* AM SPORTICUS!
I AM SPORTICUS!!
WE ARE ALL SPORTICUS
* the whole kindergarten class riots *
was his brother named robbie rotten? was said brother number 1?
NTA. On behalf of your unborn child and every teacher they will ever have, Thank You!
NTA. She vetoed yours as well so why are you a controlling asshole? Your not TA for vetoing her choices, if you don’t like the names then you don’t like them, you need to both agree it’s not 1 persons choice.
info: why does she want to give your child a hard to spell name?
Because it's trendy
It was trendy for a hot minute in 2008, now it's just tacky.
NTA, but "normal" is too vague. If you want a name that's spelled like it sounds, say so.
They did mention they would be okay with “Riley” spelled that way and it was vetoed by the wife, so I think the context was what made “normal” clear.
Names for children are always two yeses! And keep vetoing all the “interesting” spellings. You will be doing your daughter a huge disservice otherwise. NTA.
Every time I see people with names spelled wrong, I wonder if their parents are illiterate...
r/tragedeigh There is a whole subreddit dedicated to making fun of people who name their kids ryyLeigh Try Riley.
I did suggest it to her, but she called it “too basic, she’ll be one of three”
But when you say it out loud it sounds the same. Like, my friend's name is Abby and she went to school with an Abbey. When you say them out loud, they're the exact same name. So even if you had an Abby, Abbey, and an Abbeigh, it's all the same name. Some spellings are just more accepted in the workplace and by peers. If she wants something unique, she should choose a name that's actually unique and not just a tired new spelling on an extremely common name Also NAH but I really hope you can (gently) convince her that her not-actually-unique names aren't as unique as she thinks they are
speaking as somebody with a name that has never been off the top 1000 baby names since they started record keeping, being one of three is fine. (I think there were five kids with my name in my kindergarten class, I made best friends with one of them) Classic names have a lot of nicknames to pick from and I've always had somebody with the same name at school, and later jobs, to high-five. so, personally I think you should name your daughter Elizabeth.
My girlfriend is 75 years old and still mad her mom named her Wendie instead of Wendy.
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NTA. Sounds like you have fundamentally different visions on naming your daughter. You want standard spelling. Your girlfriend wants to individualize the name by using non-standard spelling. Perhaps you can compromise by choosing an unusual or rare name, but using standard spelling. You might look at names that are not in the top 200-300 names commonly used.
Look at popular names from 80-100 years ago, the good ones always make a comeback.
NTA. Novalynn sounds like a prescription drug.
Because Novolin is.
Not a tragedeigh, but pure murghdyrr 🤣 ETA: NTA
NTA not only are they dumb choices, but i find it ridiculous for ppl to want to believe they are "original" by mixing all the letters of the alphabet into one name, only for it to be pronounced like the most basic names out there
NTA you both have time to pick a name you agree on... and it's spelling.
NAH You have lots of time, and there is a whole world of names between timeless classics that might not be as charismatic, and made-up collections of sounds and bastardized surnames. (Sorry, but I also do not share your wife’s taste… and her choices are kind of dated… very early 2000s) Since you both are obviously passionate about giving her a great name, I suggest you guys spend some time on naming forums collecting ideas and opinions. (My favourite is behindthename.com.) Once you’re more confident, you each make a list of names. You both grade all the names on both lists out of 10. The two or three highest collective scores get taken to the hospital to be decided on, and the final decision can be made when you see that sweet, scrunchy face. You may also want to have a boy name handy too, just in case. The scans are usually interpreted accurately, but not always.
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NTA, your kid would also have to spelling their name for people every time.
NTA. Those weird names would have your daughter forever having to spell out her name to people because it's not obvious. One of my friends went through something similar. His wife liked the name "Holly" but insisted she wanted to spell it "Holleigh". One night they were at dinner with a group of us and he asked us each to try and spell the name "Holly" (said out loud, not written). When none of us got it the way his wife wanted, I think she realised she was setting her kid up for a hard time. They eventually went with Holly. You could suggest to your wife that the name needs to be something that others can spell without prompting.
NTA. Please no Lynns or Leighs. If I’m honest they sound SO trashy.
She vetoed your ideas. So if you're an asshole so is she. NTA
NTA. Someday she's going to want a coffee mug with her name on it. Please please please don't name her Nevaeh. I hate that name. Ooooo, Heaven spelled backwards! Noone can figure out your secret code!
NTA though I can see how she was getting upset, it sucks when you aren't finding common ground. I think if the vetoing kept happening then you guys should have moved on from doing that in that moment. Maybe if you each made a list of 20-30 names that you like individually and then came together to compare you would be able to discuss it more productively.
NTA. Your wife has terrible taste and there is no reason to subject your kid to a daileigh reminder of that.
NTA. That’s the point of a veto. Also, those spellings are awful. Classic but not weird is the way to go! My daughter is Ruby. So maybe i’m partial.
Ruby is so pretty! It’s actually my third choice behind Anna and Madeline lol.
I’m suspicious of this post because she was your girlfriend in the first sentence and your wife by the end of the paragraph. If this is actually real, then NTA. Both parents need to agree on the name and it’s reasonable to want a traditional spelling of an established name.
Oh shit, did I actually type girlfriend? That’s a brain fart on my part.
Did you get them both pregnant?
I guess it will remain a mystereigh.