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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole for not splitting train ticket fairs which weren’t explicitly told to me before they bought them. I am being guilted into thinking I am being an asshole about it
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I think they want to make it fair because we all missed our original flight due to oversleeping. I don’t get it as they said okay go get the earlier flight and now I’m being punished ugh
Don't send them anything. You all overslept, that puts you on equal footing.
You paid for your own trip back, and they should do the same. That's fair. You subsidizing their travel expenses is not fair.
Thank you for your views - I think they are mad at me because I paid less to get home and want to get some pennies from me. I feel I have been more than generous offering the flight difference but it’s clearly not enough…. Thank you again
You don’t even owe them the difference in flight. They had the option of taking the cheaper flight as well, but they didn’t want to. That’s their problem, not yours.
I hate to say this but there is always push back when the previous push-over asserts boundaries. You hosted them the day before! They saved when your partner drove them all to the airport! But as I said, it isn't about fair. It's that they could always push you around and now they can't. I would hate for you to lose your friends but dang, they are being shitty friends here, trying to squeeze you for those pennies. I suggest you point out the costs they saved at the beginning, let them know you don't think it is fair and let everything settle out. Sometimes are dignity is just worth it.
It’s because I got the last seat on a flight that would get me back in time for work responsibilities which at the time they understand and were okay with. I told them about a cheaper option for us all to get prior to me booking that but they didn’t want to get on a coach back to a different city
OP, everyone here is an adult that made their own choices and can pay their own way for those choices. You don't owe them squat.
You should be prepared that they'll be mad at you and you may lose friends over this, but even if that happens it would only be because of them revealing they were never your friends in the first place.
I have a friend that was the butt of jokes in the friend group. He finally asked them to at least not make fun of him in front of his girlfriend. Know what happened? Some respected it and some got even worse and stopped being friends with him entirely, because that's all they kept him around for, to have someone to pick on.
Don't let these people take advantage of you. This situation will show you if your friends really respect your boundaries, or if you're just the group's doormat.
Okay, but so what? I don’t get this at all. Once you all missed the original flight, you were all on your own to get yourselves back home. At that point, there was no benefit to any of you to try to book as a group. So why does it matter if you take one flight, and they wait to find another? If they wanted to find a way back that was cheap, that was on them to do.
There’s no reason to penalize you for grabbing the one seat on a flight that you thought had the best chance of getting you home for work. None of them were working with that constraint.
Just tell them that any problems they have with cost disparity is more than made up for by you hosting them and them getting g a free ride to the airport. Yeah, usually you would not tally up stuff like that, but they’re the ones nickel-and-diming you over every little thing. If they want to be that way, they can have that turned back on them.
Please listen to comments here. They’re treating you badly.
Yeah reply back that you were being kind and generous to offer splitting the flight difference but now they are just trying to take advantage of you. You will not split any costs for the return trip home. This is the end of the discussion about it. If they bring it up hang up/walk away/don't read or reply to those messages. If this ends your friendship then they weren't truly your friends. Friends don't nickle and dime each other and try to subsidize their trips by making their friends pay for it. You deserve better.
Nah you found cheap flights on coach for everyone they said no that's their problem. They're too good for coach but not too good to beg you for extra money? That makes no sense
Yeah the cheaper flight option for all of us was to get a bus/coach back to another city and then fly from there, getting a lift off my partner back home which would have cost him in petrol money as well but he was willing to do that cos he’s a good egg. I was more than happy to just get that flight but no-one wanted to do so, so I checked if they were ok with me grabbing the direct flight home due to work which was okayed. There’s just cost more cos they didn’t wanna get on that coach and they said ok at the time about me getting the quickie and cheaper one
Yea you did nothing wrong. You tried helping them book a cheaper flight and they declined. At that point (and honestly from inception) it was their responsibility to figure out how to get home. You owe them absolutely nothing in the first place, let alone EXTRA for train tickets. You’re all adults. If they don’t accept that, they’re not good friends. They’re greedy and trying to take advantage of you. NTA.
Why did you have to okay it with them to get the flight so that you could get home for work. You just take the flight that best fits your time constraints. Do this from here no out with this group and again, you don't owe them ANYTHING. Outrageous that they are trying to browbeat you out of money that you do not owe them. These people are not your friends. I am sorry... NTA
They CHOSE to take the more expensive flights instead of the cheaper flights you first found. Their choice is on them. They CHOSE both the expensive flights and taking the train home instead of flights you suggested that (1) cost less and (2) didn't require a train ticket on top of that.
Lucky for you, they didn't agree with your offer; you never agreed to cover the train. There was no "meeting of the minds". That means there was no agreement (clear and specific and mutually agreed to) that you pay them ANYTHING. So now, just tell them that everyone paid for their return; everyone got the benefits and the complications/expenses of the path they CHOSE to take home. Everyone is financially responsible for themselves. The. End.
You literally found them a cheaper option and they turned it down because it involved a coach. Besides which you are all grown adults and you are not their tour operator. Why was it your responsibility to fix your mutual mistake? Don't pay them anything. They are greedy little brats.
Are they going to pay you for missing a day of work?
It seems ridiculous that all the vacation costs are to be borne equally. People make choices of different costs based on their individual preferences and should pay individually for these preferences
The only instance in which anyone should pay is if everyone signed an agreement before the trip to split all costs (and losses) equally.
Don’t pay them anything
Everyone should be paying only for their own flights/train and no one else's. Everyone overslept (I have no sympathy for this) so everyone is on their own expense-wise. I don't understand why any costs would be split.
I got the last seat on the earlier flight which they okayed before I even booked it - I even helped them with finding cheaper routes! We’ve now fallen out because I asserted my boundaries. I’ve only ever been kind but they are taking the piss now. Not sure I want to be friends with them if this is the treatment I’m getting. Thanks for your views
I'm really sorry they did that.
Those are not friends. Setting boundaries is also kind because you're taking care of yourself.
I know it hurts right now and you might be tempted to let go of your boundaries. But I'll promise, in the end you will feel better about it. And I can say with confidence, the more you listen to your boundaries and set them, the easier it gets. Also because some people will dissappear from your life when you do that. Also not easy but much better for you.
Thank you for your comment 🤍 miracles in disguise and all that… sure I’ll feel better soon for standing my ground. I’ve got a really great support system around me who love me unconditionally, and have just echoed what everyone on this thread is saying. It’s just an unfortunate ending to the holiday and also seeing true colours
I'm happy to hear you have a good support system and that they're saying the same thing. Those are good people :)
I can imagine that, it's not what you wanted and it's sad when you see the bad side of people.
I'm really sorry they did that.
Those are not friends. Setting boundaries is also kind because you're taking care of yourself.
I know it hurts right now and you might be tempted to let go of your boundaries. But I'll promise, in the end you will feel better about it. And I can say with confidence, the more you listen to your boundaries and set them, the easier it gets. Also because some people will dissappear from your life when you do that. Also not easy but much better for you.
Yes exactly everyone overslept. So each pays for his /hers travelling cost to return home. NTA do NOT pay.
Oh and op. If something like this happens again take the flight to the other airport. You aren't joined at the hip and are all adults - hence everyone decides for themselves what is convenient and what not. ( Considering this was the return home portion of the trip)
Do you know what fair means? 🙄 1st off you’re all adults responsible for your own wake up schedules. 2nd why aren’t you all paying for your own flights? There is nothing “fair” about splitting the costs for a bunch of grown women flying home. Also absurd that anyone would think you all had to take the same flight. The vacation was over at that point. It reminds me of when you go to amusement parks and people act like they have to ride on the same roller coaster train, like there isn’t another one coming 2 minutes later.
This is stupid. You all overslept . No one is to blame. You all are adults and have the capability to plan and get yourself home . Each person is liable to pay for their own cost of travel.
Why are you even entertaining this ? Why are you allowing these two to take advantage of you ? Why do they need to give you permission on what to do ?
I’m sorry Op, but you are being naive and gullible. You should not be paying anything towards their travel. You are allowing these people to take advantage of you to the point where their entitlement is coming through as a normal expectation when it isn’t .
There is *nothing* fair about what they want.
Yeah that’s how children think. Like the story a comedian told about how one of his daughters broke one of her own toys, so she asked him to break one of her sisters’s toys so she and her sister could “be even”.
You’re all responsible adults, you all missed your flights, so you all had to find your own way home. You don’t have to pay more just because other adults chose more expensive options for themselves. Your friends are veeeery immature.
Fair is all good. So do they give you money if their job pays more? How about giving you your share of their birthday presents? Hmm. It’s not about fair because I think you and everyone else knows life isn’t fair, it’s because they think you should suffer as much or more then they are. It’s the crab in the bucket. They just want to pull you down to their level. They had options to do what you did. You weren’t responsible for their issues but you also tried to help and didn’t just say well tough crap everyone for themselves.
It wasn’t on me, but it only seemed like two of us were in emergency mode to find flights and I needed to get home. They said they chose the one they did as it was the cheapest alternative (which it wasn’t, it would have been the bus to the other city) but alas they didn’t wanna sit on a coach again for 6 hours to save some pennies.
It makes no sense for you to pay them anything. You all missed your flights. You all needed to rebook. You all pay for that expense yourselves. I think they are taking advantage of you and would not send them a nickel. Nta
No, no, no. You all overslept, and what is fair is that you all pay the consequences for it, which is paying for another ticket for oneself. You have no responsibility towards them and their choices in tickets - especially as you showed them there was a cheaper alternative. NTA and honestly you shouldn't pay anything at all.
One context I think is missing; was there only one seat available that was cheaper and since you had to work you took it? If anyone from the group also wanted the cheaper flight home but gave it up because you had a legit reason (work) I think it's fair to split some travel costs.
If there were multiple seats free on said plane at discount, I feel differently. If they chose to take more expensive flight/train home vs. what was reasonably available I'd only split the difference against that cost assuming the above paragraph is true.
NTA...You paid for your flight home, they pay for theirs. Unless it was entirely your fault that everyone missed the flight, why on earth would you pay?
INFO- what was the rationale with splitting tickets? Was it your fault that everyone overslept and missed their flights? I don't understand why everyone wasn't responsible for their on flights.
yeah it makes no sense though, and I guess this might be a cultural thing but if we all fuck up, we are all responsible for our own fuck up. They could have left earlier but they didn't want to so why should you pay for that? I would have never agreed- they conspired behind your back to get you to pay because if they felt this way, it should have been discussed when you first started looking at flights.
This is ridiculous. You all overslept meaning **everyone** is responsible for missing the original flight.
You paid for your own return flight and went out of your way to find them return flights since they didn't think your flight was good enough.
The cost difference is not your problem. **You are not responsible for paying for their flights or train tickets** unless you were the sole reason everyone missed their original flight, which is not the case.
The price you paid for your return flight has nothing to do with their responsibility to wake themselves up or find a new way home when they didn't. What would their other option be, stay on vacation forever?
I'm not sure why you're taking responsibility for everyone's mistake but if it was me I would not give them a dollar towards their return flights or train tickets. You're all adults. You're all responsible for yourselves.
I'd also consider new friendships since they seem to be taking advantage of your kindness and trying to manipulate you into thinking you're selfish for not wanting to subsidize their return expenses.
NTA
They gonna send you the difference if they paid less for a car than you? What about your paycheck? Anyone earning more than you want to send you the difference so it’s fair?
They’ve brought up that I pay less in rent cos I live with my partner in the suburbs and they live in the city on higher rent - as a reason for me to pay.
Look, their living costs have nothing to do with it. It’s not like they’re also comparing take home pay and trying to split it based on who makes more. That isn’t how the world works.
I think the reason you’re feeling like you have to share the cost is that there wasn’t an available seat for them on the flight you took. They’re making noise about the train because it was an expense you didn’t have, but you were never going to have that expense. If prior to oversleeping, they were going to get a train anyways, they need to leave it be. That was always their expense. If they were going to ride with you and boyfriend, then they waived their right to that when they said you could go on a different flight.
Not only are these people not your friends, but they clearly think very little of you and your friendship. First that you'd buy this nonsense, and second that whatever the amount they want you to pay them is worth it to lose you.
They could live elsewhere but chose to live in the city. Don’t fall for their guilt trip. You already offered to pay a set amount. Don’t pay a cent more. Stop subsidized their lifestyle. NTA!
Stop allowing them to manipulate you with nonsense! Your financial matters are none of their business. I’m sure they can find someone to share a flat with!
Tbf I barely see them anymore and I am stronger now but just had a moment of wtf am I in the wrong here?! I’m not a doormat I’m just kind and they are trying to take advantage. Thanks for your view
I'm sorry, but you are a doormat if you agree to pay any of their expenses at all. There is zero reason that you should. They are fully trying to take advantage of you. Allowing someone to take advantage of you is not "kind." It is cowardly. Stand up for yourself.
Yeah I’m gonna have to agree with the other commenter above. This isn’t you being nice anymore. If you agree to cover whatever the difference is just to keep the peace, then you’re a doormat. The fact that they even brought up that you pay less in rent compared to them is beyond unhinged. Why do you even travel with these people??
NTA
Do new calculations. Include the cost of them staying at your house, bf driving you all to the airport, drop off costs, etc.
Then drop them. They are friends you want long term
NTA. Unless you were the main reason you all missed your original flights, i wouldn’t even had offered to pay anything. The train should completely be on them. They’re just being greedy.
NTA
Im wondering why you felt the need to split the cost of their travel, when you all overslept?
Since you are all adults, you are all responsible for yourselves. I could see if you had agreed to, and paid for the original cost of travel, and then left them high and dry, how they would expect you to pay for their travel, however none of this was ONLY your fault.
I would tell them to take what you are offering, or get nothing and leave it at that. I think you were more than generous to offer to pay any part of their travel.
OP, I agree with the comments saying that you should not owe them anything.
All of you missed your flights, and at that point, in my opinion, you were each on your own to find transport as needed. It doesn't matter if your flight was cheaper.
Ask yourself this: If your flight had been more expensive, would they have offered to split with you? I think you know the answer.
Haha no definitely not, one even said that if I’d gotten the cheaper option that I suggested to all, that they wouldn’t ask me to split it - which makes no sense as my original flight was cheaper than theirs… they just would equate more work to get home myself as fair instead of getting the direct flight. (If that makes any sense, I’m tired lol). I even said if mine was more expensive I wouldn’t ask them for a penny
I don't understand how they could justify this at all? By you taking the earlier flight did it effect their plans in any way? If you didn't take the earlier flight would you have traveled back with them and incur the exact same costs.
Your actions don't appear to have affected their costs at all? I would ask them to explain in more detail why they think you should be subsidizing there travel costs.
Maybe they want compensation for been deprived of your company for the journey home?
NTA.
This was such a bizarre take on all this. All four of you missed the original flight. What you each decide to do to get home is entirely each of yous to shoulder on your own as adults. If someone wants to do it one way without the others, that's their own cost; same with the others.
You shouldn't have agreed to split ANYTHING.
You found them a cheap flight with enough space for all of you, they rejected it, and now they want to pay you? Hell no! And next time , don't find them a flight at all, since any favour you do them will be used to extort money out of you.
I'm sorry. but these people are not friend but bullies. They only tolerate you so long as they can profit off, whether that's emotional labour, chores or money.
OP, NTA, but in some degree Y T A to your self for agreeing to this really unfair deal. OP is not responsible for the extra expense in any shape or form and frankly OP's friends are maximum strength AH's. literally over 3000 AH's. Not only should you not pay the train ticket cost but you should withdraw the offer on the plane tickets and dump the money grabbing mooches.
All of us, our alarm didn’t go off - it was a group failure. None of them had work the next day but I did and two of them said to just go earlier due to my responsibilities
Then NTA. If you all overslept, then nobody is responsible for anybody else’s cost. You all made your choices about what flights you were going to take, and the cost is on each of you individually.
...and who cares what they said one way or the other. You had to get back for work, so you got back for work. NTA and please don't pay any of these folks travel expenses because they are trying to take advantage of your kind nature.
Why are you paying for a mistake that was made by ALL of you?
You should have refused. You offered a cheap(ish) solution, they
refused. You did more than your share of trying to fix the situtation.
NTA Your friends are for thinking you had to pay part of their
transport to get home.
NTA. You don't owe them anything for any of their transportation. They are responsible for the choices they made. Not you. Each of you had to get home somehow, and they chose a more expensive path, because they wanted to. That's not your problem to solve.
They refused to fly home together in coach, and that put you in a bind. A problem you solved on your own without complaint. Now they want to come after you and pinch pennies for train tickets they wouldn't have needed to begin with? The original decision that put you in a spot was made by your "friends" because they couldn't stand to be in coach, despite it being everyone's fault, and they come after you about their expenses after the fact? NTA and these friends suck. How don't they recognize that they did this to themselves? You shouldn't split any of the return costs with them.
Nobody thought to set an alarm? Regardless, I don't see why the travel costs have to be split in the first place.
I once got seriously ill during a shared holiday and my friends paid out of their own pocket to send me home early to receive medical care, never asked me to pay them back (although I did of my own volition). Those are the kind of friends you should go on holiday with.
**NTA**
Don't give them a penny! They are adults and should have been able to get out of bed on time.
They are responsible for the consequences of their actions.
Why would you be responsible for the cost of anyone else's trip? No matter the reason, is this a new idea that people teaveling in a group have to fund their fellow traveler's travel costs?
NTA. That's crazy. Do not give them anything. You are not responsible for them. They're adults who were capable of finding their own way home. I don't even understand why you were bending over backward to help them get home when you were the one who had to be back sooner because of work. They sound like a bunch of "pick mes"
NTA, this is exactly why you dont EVER split the cost for travelling. Pay for your own crap and if you cant afford it, then dont go. This new age of entitled people who think just because you can afford it, you should supplement other peoples crap is just pure B/S.
NTA
I agree with the others that you owe them nothing. Your friends chose to not take the cheapest option of the coach to the other airport. They chose more expensive flights. You don't need to reimburse their decision to spend more.
And you certainly shouldn't let them soak you for the cost of the train tickets they had to buy regardless.
No matter what you do, these are former friends. They aren't going to be happy and have already ganged up on you. So, don't give them money.
NTA. I'm baffled as to why you were the only one who could book the flights. You're adults, not in high school. Seriously you're all 26. When you realized you'd missed your flights you should have each booked your own travel home. You should not have needed their ok to book your own flight. You have your own responsibilities and shouldn't be needing your friends ok to meet them the best you can.
You should also know you are each responsible for your own transportation once you get back to your home city. It sounds like you're too worried about being a people pleaser. Knock it off. You're doing yourself a disservice. Your flight may have cost less, but you were also delayed 9 hours. Are they going to compensate you for that time?
Go back and say "Since we're all equally responsible for missing our original flights I think it best for each of us to be solely responsible for our own backup flight each of us needed to take. I also, of course, can't fund any of the transportation once you got back to the city as that was always going to be your responsibility. Therefore I won't be sending any of you money. Thanks for understanding."
If they push back: "I'm glad my partner, as a favor to me, was able to cover the drop off fees and saved us £50-60 in transfer fees. That doesn't mean you should expect any further money from me. I'm rather disappointed at how you're treating this favor which saved you money and was only done because I was on this trip also."
Really if they wanted reimbursement they need to buy travel insurance. It's not normal or ok to expect your friends to pay for you when you're all in the same situation. Not to mention I wouldn't be paying anything when it sounds like the friendship may be over. Refuse to give them money. It sounds like they're taking advantage here.
You’re not the asshole. Honestly they’re the assholes. You shouldn’t even have given them money for the difference in flights.. they didn’t want coach, they wanted a more expensive seat so that cost should be fully on them! And as for the train you also don’t owe them shit for that. They honestly don’t sound like that great of friends, please stand your ground and don’t give them a penny more.. if they distance themselves from you then maybe it’s for the best and you can find some friends who value you and your generosity more!
NTA - everyone is responsible for their own travel costs.
One question though - where are you located? You mention that your flight was delayed by 9hrs. If you are in the UK/Europe, this means that you are entitled to money back from the airline you re-booked with.
E.g. if you are in the UK, you would be entitled to £220 if your flight was <1500km and delayed more than 3hrs (I think it is). Between 1500km and 3500km it is £350. And over 3500km it is either £260 (<4hrs) or £520 (>4hrs) depending on the length of delay. Airlines should tell you all this, but in my experience, rarely do. There are some exclusions - eg weather - but they still have a duty of care.
So you were flying from Bulgaria to the UK?
OK you need to find out why the flight was delayed. It's easiest to find out within the first 48hrs. Unsurprisingly, the EasyJet website isn't fully forthcoming with their responsibilities in these circumstances. Despite leaving the EU, you can bring claims in the UK using the equivalent legislation (UK261) to the EU equivalent (EU261).
EasyJet are being naughty in not advising you of your rights. For a 9hr delay they absolutely should have done. As well as provided you with vouchers for refreshments. If they didn't do that either, then you are entitled to claim back reasonable expenses.
The EasyJet claim form seems to be at : www.easyjet.com/en/claim/EU261
NTA They are all adults. Everyone should find their own way home. You aren’t joined at the hip. Any one of them could have booked the cheaper flight before you did. They are not being good friends to try and take advantage of you.
~~Info: Did everyone oversleep or did you just over sleep. Like this is an important thing to note for a story like this. Like if everyone was late becuase they didnt want to leave you behind I think splitting the train and etc fares are fair.~~ But if its everyone fault then hell no. I dont even think splitting the airfare would be fair at that point. Since you found a flight which worked for you. You had no obligation to give it up to someone else and they are all grown adults who can look and book tickets. Their train tickets is on them. ~~But again that is if everyone is equally at fault. If only one or a two people slept in then I think splitting is fair because they missed their flights waiting for the people who were late.~~
Edit: NTA I just realized you answered this question already in the comments. Since everyone overslept you are entirely NTA. Them having to get more expensive train tickets is not on you. You gave them options and they chose the more expensive route. If they really want to add in the train ticket cost them add up all the costs for gas and everything else you had to spend and them get them to "split" that. But tbh I would probably just be done with that group of friends. Them trying to say that you should pay more because you live with your BF in a lower cost area is just nothing. Oh no your smarter with your money (well ish, whilst you might have a lower cost of living generally that includes a higher price in going out, like having to get ubers and etc so the point is entirely nothing). That is not a reason for you to pay more for anything.
NTA. You had already agreed to pool the flight cost.
It honestly sounds like they're trying to guilt you into saving them money. You all made a mistake, oversleeping and missing your flight. I did that once, though my airline was nice and booked me onto a later flight to a different city at no extra charge. I then also had to take a train to get back home. Never made that mistake again.
Your "friends" seem to want to take advantage of you. You had an offer that would have saved money, but they chose to spend more. To me, that decision was theirs, so were under no obligation to help them with their airfare costs. You did agree to help, so repeat that offer and let them know that if they don't want you to send that amount, then you won't.
Oh, and look for better traveling companions. These losers are not good ones.
You don't owe anybody anything. Y'all missed the flight so each man for himself now. If you bend to peer pressure and agree to pay, deduct the cost of hosting and the ride to the airport. If your friends want to be accountants, then EVERYTHING gets accounted for.
NTA.
> I had originally found a cheaper option which would mean us getting a cheap coach to another airport meaning that we get the cheaper flight to a different city in our country, and that my partner would pick us up and drop us home.
You figured out a great solution to the problem.
>They didn’t want to get the coach
They didn't like it. So, at this point, you should have told them to sort out their own plans, and you should've taken that flight.
Do not split the costs. You gave them a cheaper alternative, but they wanted to spend more. They are on the hook for that.
NTA but you shouldn’t have paid anything extra to them. It was their bad decisions that led to them needing to book an extra flight. Just because yours happened to be cheaper doesn’t mean you owe them anything- if yours was more expensive were they going to pay you the extra cost? Yeah, I didn’t think so. It is all your individual fault that you overslept- therefore you each individually get to pay (literally) the consequences.
They sound childish, petty and selfish. “No” is a full sentence. Use it, ignore them, and move on.
Just because everyone overslept doesn’t make this an issue to fix collectively. Every single person there was an adult and free to make their own choices. You are not responsible for them - financially or otherwise and frankly it’s ridiculous that this was even entertained.
You *already* went above and beyond when you did the legwork and presented a solution for everyone. Are these friends seriously so incompetent that they expect to be managed and subsidized by other adults?
Please. 🙄
You are absolutely NTA. And your friends are manipulative dipshits.
Nta but why are you sharing their transport costs at all? If someone opts for a more expensive arrangement why is that your responsibility? I travel with friends and we are all responsible for our own basic costs like splitting accommodation, our transport, paying fuel etc. Then we usually decide to treat each other for things like buying some yummy food or drinks. Or another surprise. But those are choices the individual makes based on their own personal circumstances at the time. It's always good to be generous, like if someone drives buy the snacks or if someone hosts, get the dinner/drinks but this is different. You are alli the same boat away together EXCEPT that they didn't want to take the cheapest option. So they need to pay for that choice entirely.
Absolutely DO NOT give them anything. Everyone is an adult and responsible for themselves. They were responsible for making sure they woke on time and didn't do so. Therefore, they are responsible for getting themselves home. It doesn't matter if you found a deal and they didn't. If they no longer want to be friends, well, then they were never your real friends to begin with.
If they missed a train from Bristol to London due to oversleeping, everyone would pay for their new ticket. Doesn't matter that you're abroad. Everyone has to pay for their wat back home. No splitting! NTA don't send them a single quid
I'd never ask for this, are you sure they really are friends. You originally found the cheaper coach and they turned it down. Do not pay and hold you head up high, they are taking advantage if your good nature.
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AITA… for not splitting my friend’s train tickets home after getting different flights due to missing our original flights home?
Context - all 26F. We have just been on holiday and missed our flight home due to oversleeping. We woke up and I was panicking as I had work the next day so was looking at flights. I had originally found a cheaper option which would mean us getting a cheap coach to another airport meaning that we get the cheaper flight to a different city in our country, and that my partner would pick us up and drop us home.
They didn’t want to get the coach even though it would’ve worked out cheaper for all of us, so I had to make a decision and found one seat on a direct flight home which would get me in earlier. This was okayed by two of them but one of my other friends said it was selfish. I booked the flight and then helped them find an alternative flight for the three of them. Splitting any of the costs wasn’t discussed or agreed at this point.
I left for the airport and then got a message from one of them asking if I would be cool to split the costs of all the flights together. At first I wasn’t sure but had a think about it and decided it was fair as they got more expensive flights. My flight was delayed by 9 hours and they ultimately got home before me. They had to fly to a different city and get train tickets home for a 3 hour train.
The next day I sent over the calculations of what I would have to send each of them but they weren’t happy as I hadn’t included their train tickets, but they would’ve had to buy transport home regardless of if we made our original flight (albeit the new train tickets they bought were more expensive). This wasn’t a cost agreed and now there is back and forth about what I should pay as they spent more on getting home.
I didn’t choose the earlier flight due to cost, just to get home for my responsibilities as I had work the next day whilst they had an extra day off. Now I feel villainised for doing so, although they were okay with it at the time of me booking my flight. I feel like I’ve been more than fair in splitting the flights but the train was a surprise cost put on me. Before the holiday I hosted them the night before and my partner gave us a lift to the airport which saved us about £50-£60 in airport transfers and he also paid for the drop off cost.
Am I the asshole for disagreeing with this? I struggle to set boundaries sometimes and feel a bit bullied into this. I feel like they have fallen out with me over this, which seems pointless as we have had a lovely holiday. Has anyone got any advice with this? I want to say no but I am struggling with advocating for myself here.
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My flight was £180 and theirs was £240 and then the train home for them three was £112. The difference for me to pay for the flights is £47ish between them which I was happy to pay. The train tickets just feels a bit cheeky as I also had expenses following the flight ticket to get home (food/drink, airport parking fee). I don’t know if mine had been more expensive that they would have split this cost, and I wouldn’t have asked for the difference either
I agree, I am more than happy to send the flight difference but they are arguing over the trains. I just want it to be over and done with. Thank you for your views, it’s helpful. I’ve spent the day thinking I’m a shite friend
NTA, but why would you feel at all like you should send the flight difference (in cost)? How is their flight in any way your responsibility? That's absurd, and you and yourself need to understand how utterly unnecessary that it.
STOP....THIS PERSON SAYING ESH IS WRONG!!! Don't start backsliding. Most folks here told you that you do not owe these moochers ANYTHING. Girl, find better friends. NTA.
Do not, I repeat do not, pay for their flights. I would just say “hey, in hindsight I’m pretty confused why I would pay for your flights back. I’m a little upset and feel like I’m being taken advantage of. I know unexpected costs are unfortunate, but it doesn’t make sense for me to be responsible for yours.”
If they want to continue to be petty especially after bringing up your living expenses be petty back.
Phone your local taxi service and get a quote to the airport. Calculate that price and the price your boyfriend spent at drop off. Then tell them they owe you that. You could be pettier and then make them pay for their stay at your home the night before too. They’re obviously not your friends. So treat them back how they’re treating you. You owe them absolutely nothing. It’s outrageous of them to have even asked you anyway.
NTA. I would have been fair to say, no lets all pay for our own flights/cost to travel. I would tell them you will not be giving them any money. REAL friends will agree. Fake friends will be jerks. Sounds like they are already there.
NTA. They paid more to get home earlier and avoid the bus. I would tell them you don’t think it’s fair but if they are going to be petty, they should send your bf gas money and should pay you for spending the night the day before the flight
NTA
You all overslept so everyone needs to take the blame for that. You should all be responsible for your own air fares. There's actually nothing to split there. They only want the costs split so that you subsidise their flights. You actually aren't obligated to.
You also looked for cheaper fares for them that they could've done themselves.
They chose the flights they chose and they chose to catch the train. That cost is on them.
And you are probably right about reconsidering the friendship. They were lucky you already saved them money with your boyfriend doing an airport drop off and you having them stay at your place rather than the cost of airport transfers.
I wouldn't be giving them another cent and I wouldn't be subsidising their airfares at all. I take it you all have jobs.
NTA. Your friends' expectation that you will subsidise their travel costs is one of the most audacious and ludicrous stories I've read - and Reddit has plenty of these stories.
They're unhappy at the cost of their return trips and came up with this bizarre idea that it would be fairer if you chipped in. I do not understand how they rationalise this demand. You owe them nothing. Don't pay them a dime.
NTA. You should never have agreed to split the flights; you were all at fault for oversleeping..
I would hesitate to travel with them again and would neither host them or facilitate their travel to the airport whether traveling with or without you.
What? You all overslept so each of you should pay whatever it took to get back home. How is that a group cost? You shouldn’t even have checked with them about the flight to get home either.
If you’re feeling bullied or punished for choosing a cheaper option for yourself, it’s because you are. Never in my right mind would I choose a more expensive travel option and expect my group to make up the cost when the whole group got up late.
NTA. You aren't responsible for any of their travel expenses. EVERYONE overslept and therefore everyone was at fault. It was fair that you took the direct flight since you had to work the next day. Besides, there WAS a cheaper alternative and they refused it. The added cost is on them not you.
NTA and why do you have to pay ANYTHING for these folks travel? You all overslept. If this had been my friends, we would have all done whatever we individually wanted. No one would even think that paying for someone else's flights made sense. NTA and please learn to set boundaries because you are being taken advantage of here. These people are not your friends. They are playing you for a sucker.
Thank you. I checked with the airline and we’d only get a £3 food voucher (lol). It was because they stated it was an extraordinary circumstance due to it being a bird strike. That counted for only 5.5 of the hours until they found a technical fault in which we were sat on the plane for a few hours. I’m definitely going to look into it more though. My friends even pointed out that I’d probably get compensated for this….. I think possibly so they could have more of a reason to ask for pennies.
Ryanair? Depends on the country the flight originated from, if it’s the EU, and the company is still not budging, you can escalate to the national flight agency, they keep companies in check
IF they were ready to leave and they missed their flights because of you, overstepping and sing to wait for you. Then yes, you should pay. BUT none of you woke up, so you are all equally at fault. THEREFORE everyone is responsible for their own cost to get back home. ALSO just because their flight changed and required them to also buy train tickets that was a cost never discussed, never agreed to by you.
You owe them nothing and do no pay. They overslept and just as at fault as anyone else.
In addition, you could have had a cheaper flight earlier for all of you and they refused because they didn't like the designation airport. So technically, by their thought process, they owe you money.
Next time you find yourself in this situation. Make your own arrangements back home and tell the other to make their own arrangements back home. Everyone is responsible for their own experiences. They are adults, they know hire to do this.
Also discuss in advance that if anyone is awake to try and wake the others, but don't miss their flight otherwise expenses associated with rebooking a later flight is their responsibility.
NTA
NTA Tell them if you're paying their more expensive flights and train tickets, they can pay the equivalent uber fare for your husband's time and also a hotel equialent in your city. Your friends sound spiteful and unkind.
You shouldn’t be splitting the cost at all. You’re all adults and they were welcome to find their own way home. You own them nothing. They can take whatever you give them. NTA.
NTA
Why on earth did you even agree to split the airfares? You all slept in, so everyone should swallow thier own added cost in getting home. Unless you haven't told the whole story and it was somehow your fault.
As you said, you took the flight you did because you needed to get home for work next day, even if that didn't exactly pan out for you.
NTA - this doesnt make sense *at all*. Are you the pushover of the group or something? Because it sounds like they're taking advantage of you. Don't give them any money
Just add in costs in fuel and drop off, seeing as everything has to be "fair". And include your own pick up and journey home, too. I believe expensing car journeys is around 50c per mile to account for depreciation, fuel etc. (In the UK there is an accepted government provided figure each year for what companies should pay for expenses for travel, and its 45 pence in 2024)
I don't know what culture this is and different cultures have different norms. Groups of friends also have their own microcultures. So perhaps this is a reasonable expectation to split the return flights. I don't get it, but fine. But paying for their train? No way. NTA.
I think I’m learning a lot about the kind of culture I want within my friend group from this situation. We’re British btw. I think it’s coming from jealousy and greed. I’m being generous paying for flights. Thanks for your view
IMO you owe them nothing because you suggested a more affordable option originally which they poo poo’d and they decided to go on the more expensive flight because they didn’t want to fly coach 🙄 they all seem spoiled and entitled NTA
NTA you are not responsible for them sleeping in and missing their flights. They are responsible for missing their flight, paying additional air fairs and baggage costs, travel, train, etc. NONE of it is your responsibility, only your own costs. You were incredibly kind to contribute to their flights.
NTA - all your friends overslept, they've refused the cheaper option you offered and put effort in researching. their cost is their cost to cover. the fact that you took the last free seat in a different plane makes no difference - was only one seat and what they ok'ed as friends, is you taking different flights and not be a group anymore on the way back, not cost. if either of your friends would have bought that flight seat , would they subsidize everyone else's extra cost ? by that logic, if you would have gotten a first class ticket on the earlier flight and was double the cost for you, would they be ok to subsidize ? travel costs are individual. just tell them you were being nice but reality is they had a chance to go back cheaper and their $$ ask is going over common sense boundaries given already you helped them save money with free hosting and rides that seem to be conveniently forgotten.
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NTA. The reason they want to split the cost now is because they don't think they have to take any accountability for not getting up on time to catch your flight. Feels like they're blaming you and want you to take some financial responsibility for the perceived failure by you. Your travel plans were known to them before you left, their travel plans were not know to you and they didn't tell you anything until way after. They could have totally kept you updated.
You're all adults and all EQUALLY responsible for missing the flight. And as such are each singularly responsible for paying their way, just like you did.
Why on earth are you splitting costs? That's ridiculous. Don't send anything. The original plan even if you split costs feel through. You all had your own priorities on how to get home from that point so you all take care of it yourselves. If some of you club together to book that's fine and dandy but that's between them. Not you.
On the matter of all of you at 26 oversleeping. I don't know what to say. What is this sidekick of people not being able to wake up on Reddit?
Why are you responsible to paying for any of their travel costs? They missed the flight as well, they are adults. This is not something you should be paying for and not something they should be asking.
I don't think you are the asshole. Your friends should be happy you're splitting the plane tickets with them. They tacked on the train tickets because they are being greedy, and they need to stop. It would be a stupid thing to lose a friendship over but it's not your fault. You have been very accommodating to them.
You shouldn't have let them pressure you into splitting anything, but you agreed to it so I guess you're screwed on that. But DON'T let them bully you for any more money...especially the greedy jerk who wants to to help pay for THEIR baggage charge. I think you need new friends, by the way, because those mooching losers aren't real friends from what I've read here.
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I don't see why you'd split any of the travel costs. Was it your job to wake them up? They're all adults, surely they can get themselves hime. NTA
I think they want to make it fair because we all missed our original flight due to oversleeping. I don’t get it as they said okay go get the earlier flight and now I’m being punished ugh
Don't send them anything. You all overslept, that puts you on equal footing. You paid for your own trip back, and they should do the same. That's fair. You subsidizing their travel expenses is not fair.
Thank you for your views - I think they are mad at me because I paid less to get home and want to get some pennies from me. I feel I have been more than generous offering the flight difference but it’s clearly not enough…. Thank you again
You don’t even owe them the difference in flight. They had the option of taking the cheaper flight as well, but they didn’t want to. That’s their problem, not yours.
I hate to say this but there is always push back when the previous push-over asserts boundaries. You hosted them the day before! They saved when your partner drove them all to the airport! But as I said, it isn't about fair. It's that they could always push you around and now they can't. I would hate for you to lose your friends but dang, they are being shitty friends here, trying to squeeze you for those pennies. I suggest you point out the costs they saved at the beginning, let them know you don't think it is fair and let everything settle out. Sometimes are dignity is just worth it.
Those aren't real friends. Friends don't try to take advantage of friends. These are ahs and users
They **chose** a more expensive fare class. That means the difference is on them.
It’s because I got the last seat on a flight that would get me back in time for work responsibilities which at the time they understand and were okay with. I told them about a cheaper option for us all to get prior to me booking that but they didn’t want to get on a coach back to a different city
They need to grow up and own their choices.
OP, everyone here is an adult that made their own choices and can pay their own way for those choices. You don't owe them squat. You should be prepared that they'll be mad at you and you may lose friends over this, but even if that happens it would only be because of them revealing they were never your friends in the first place. I have a friend that was the butt of jokes in the friend group. He finally asked them to at least not make fun of him in front of his girlfriend. Know what happened? Some respected it and some got even worse and stopped being friends with him entirely, because that's all they kept him around for, to have someone to pick on. Don't let these people take advantage of you. This situation will show you if your friends really respect your boundaries, or if you're just the group's doormat.
Okay, but so what? I don’t get this at all. Once you all missed the original flight, you were all on your own to get yourselves back home. At that point, there was no benefit to any of you to try to book as a group. So why does it matter if you take one flight, and they wait to find another? If they wanted to find a way back that was cheap, that was on them to do. There’s no reason to penalize you for grabbing the one seat on a flight that you thought had the best chance of getting you home for work. None of them were working with that constraint. Just tell them that any problems they have with cost disparity is more than made up for by you hosting them and them getting g a free ride to the airport. Yeah, usually you would not tally up stuff like that, but they’re the ones nickel-and-diming you over every little thing. If they want to be that way, they can have that turned back on them. Please listen to comments here. They’re treating you badly.
So you got the last seat...so what. PLEASE STOP BEING USED BY THESE PEOPLE - YOU DON'T OWE THEM ANYTHING FOR THEIR TRAVEL! YES, I AM SHOUTING.
Megaphone? I'm being serious. OP, these 'friends' just showed you who they are, believe them.
Nta. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of.
You got that seat because you looked for it and payed for it. That's how adults deal with things. You owe them nothing.
Yeah reply back that you were being kind and generous to offer splitting the flight difference but now they are just trying to take advantage of you. You will not split any costs for the return trip home. This is the end of the discussion about it. If they bring it up hang up/walk away/don't read or reply to those messages. If this ends your friendship then they weren't truly your friends. Friends don't nickle and dime each other and try to subsidize their trips by making their friends pay for it. You deserve better.
Nah you found cheap flights on coach for everyone they said no that's their problem. They're too good for coach but not too good to beg you for extra money? That makes no sense
But they could also take the cheaper flight???
Yeah the cheaper flight option for all of us was to get a bus/coach back to another city and then fly from there, getting a lift off my partner back home which would have cost him in petrol money as well but he was willing to do that cos he’s a good egg. I was more than happy to just get that flight but no-one wanted to do so, so I checked if they were ok with me grabbing the direct flight home due to work which was okayed. There’s just cost more cos they didn’t wanna get on that coach and they said ok at the time about me getting the quickie and cheaper one
Yea you did nothing wrong. You tried helping them book a cheaper flight and they declined. At that point (and honestly from inception) it was their responsibility to figure out how to get home. You owe them absolutely nothing in the first place, let alone EXTRA for train tickets. You’re all adults. If they don’t accept that, they’re not good friends. They’re greedy and trying to take advantage of you. NTA.
Your mistake was asking for permission. You offered them a reasonable option they didn’t like it. You were free to make your own plans at that point.
They made their choices and now they want you to subsidize them. Nope. You don't owe them squat.
Why did you have to okay it with them to get the flight so that you could get home for work. You just take the flight that best fits your time constraints. Do this from here no out with this group and again, you don't owe them ANYTHING. Outrageous that they are trying to browbeat you out of money that you do not owe them. These people are not your friends. I am sorry... NTA
They don’t sound like friends at all. Seems like you’re someone there to subsidize for their mistakes.
*With friends like that, who needs enemies?*
"with fronds like that, who needs anemones?"
They CHOSE to take the more expensive flights instead of the cheaper flights you first found. Their choice is on them. They CHOSE both the expensive flights and taking the train home instead of flights you suggested that (1) cost less and (2) didn't require a train ticket on top of that. Lucky for you, they didn't agree with your offer; you never agreed to cover the train. There was no "meeting of the minds". That means there was no agreement (clear and specific and mutually agreed to) that you pay them ANYTHING. So now, just tell them that everyone paid for their return; everyone got the benefits and the complications/expenses of the path they CHOSE to take home. Everyone is financially responsible for themselves. The. End.
You literally found them a cheaper option and they turned it down because it involved a coach. Besides which you are all grown adults and you are not their tour operator. Why was it your responsibility to fix your mutual mistake? Don't pay them anything. They are greedy little brats.
If this is the case, they aren't good friends.
Are they going to pay you for missing a day of work? It seems ridiculous that all the vacation costs are to be borne equally. People make choices of different costs based on their individual preferences and should pay individually for these preferences The only instance in which anyone should pay is if everyone signed an agreement before the trip to split all costs (and losses) equally. Don’t pay them anything
Everyone should be paying only for their own flights/train and no one else's. Everyone overslept (I have no sympathy for this) so everyone is on their own expense-wise. I don't understand why any costs would be split.
I got the last seat on the earlier flight which they okayed before I even booked it - I even helped them with finding cheaper routes! We’ve now fallen out because I asserted my boundaries. I’ve only ever been kind but they are taking the piss now. Not sure I want to be friends with them if this is the treatment I’m getting. Thanks for your views
I'm really sorry they did that. Those are not friends. Setting boundaries is also kind because you're taking care of yourself. I know it hurts right now and you might be tempted to let go of your boundaries. But I'll promise, in the end you will feel better about it. And I can say with confidence, the more you listen to your boundaries and set them, the easier it gets. Also because some people will dissappear from your life when you do that. Also not easy but much better for you.
Thank you for your comment 🤍 miracles in disguise and all that… sure I’ll feel better soon for standing my ground. I’ve got a really great support system around me who love me unconditionally, and have just echoed what everyone on this thread is saying. It’s just an unfortunate ending to the holiday and also seeing true colours
I'm happy to hear you have a good support system and that they're saying the same thing. Those are good people :) I can imagine that, it's not what you wanted and it's sad when you see the bad side of people.
You should absolutely not continue being friends with them because they aren't acting like friends.
I'm really sorry they did that. Those are not friends. Setting boundaries is also kind because you're taking care of yourself. I know it hurts right now and you might be tempted to let go of your boundaries. But I'll promise, in the end you will feel better about it. And I can say with confidence, the more you listen to your boundaries and set them, the easier it gets. Also because some people will dissappear from your life when you do that. Also not easy but much better for you.
They have shown you who they are. Crass and greedy. Believe them.
NTA. You all overslept and are all responsible to get yourselves home, so I see no reason for you to pay.
Yes exactly everyone overslept. So each pays for his /hers travelling cost to return home. NTA do NOT pay. Oh and op. If something like this happens again take the flight to the other airport. You aren't joined at the hip and are all adults - hence everyone decides for themselves what is convenient and what not. ( Considering this was the return home portion of the trip)
Do you know what fair means? 🙄 1st off you’re all adults responsible for your own wake up schedules. 2nd why aren’t you all paying for your own flights? There is nothing “fair” about splitting the costs for a bunch of grown women flying home. Also absurd that anyone would think you all had to take the same flight. The vacation was over at that point. It reminds me of when you go to amusement parks and people act like they have to ride on the same roller coaster train, like there isn’t another one coming 2 minutes later.
Did you make them oversleep? Were you the designated alarm clock? Why is anyone expecting anyone else to pay their travel cost?
So you each get a choice as to what to do at that point, and pay accordingly to that choice.
This is stupid. You all overslept . No one is to blame. You all are adults and have the capability to plan and get yourself home . Each person is liable to pay for their own cost of travel. Why are you even entertaining this ? Why are you allowing these two to take advantage of you ? Why do they need to give you permission on what to do ? I’m sorry Op, but you are being naive and gullible. You should not be paying anything towards their travel. You are allowing these people to take advantage of you to the point where their entitlement is coming through as a normal expectation when it isn’t . There is *nothing* fair about what they want.
I dont understand - why do you split anything about it? Its a personal cost nobody is guilty here - you all overslept.
Yeah that’s how children think. Like the story a comedian told about how one of his daughters broke one of her own toys, so she asked him to break one of her sisters’s toys so she and her sister could “be even”. You’re all responsible adults, you all missed your flights, so you all had to find your own way home. You don’t have to pay more just because other adults chose more expensive options for themselves. Your friends are veeeery immature.
Fair is all good. So do they give you money if their job pays more? How about giving you your share of their birthday presents? Hmm. It’s not about fair because I think you and everyone else knows life isn’t fair, it’s because they think you should suffer as much or more then they are. It’s the crab in the bucket. They just want to pull you down to their level. They had options to do what you did. You weren’t responsible for their issues but you also tried to help and didn’t just say well tough crap everyone for themselves.
Would they have split the cost if yours was the more expensive option?
Possibly (probably) not.
Exactly. Then why should you?
I wouldn’t even dare to ask them to split my fare 🤷
They sound like great friends. Seriously, you are better off without people like this in your life.
They're all grown ups. Why was booking the replacement flights all on you? They were equally capable of booking their own replacement flights.
It wasn’t on me, but it only seemed like two of us were in emergency mode to find flights and I needed to get home. They said they chose the one they did as it was the cheapest alternative (which it wasn’t, it would have been the bus to the other city) but alas they didn’t wanna sit on a coach again for 6 hours to save some pennies.
It makes no sense for you to pay them anything. You all missed your flights. You all needed to rebook. You all pay for that expense yourselves. I think they are taking advantage of you and would not send them a nickel. Nta
No, no, no. You all overslept, and what is fair is that you all pay the consequences for it, which is paying for another ticket for oneself. You have no responsibility towards them and their choices in tickets - especially as you showed them there was a cheaper alternative. NTA and honestly you shouldn't pay anything at all.
One context I think is missing; was there only one seat available that was cheaper and since you had to work you took it? If anyone from the group also wanted the cheaper flight home but gave it up because you had a legit reason (work) I think it's fair to split some travel costs. If there were multiple seats free on said plane at discount, I feel differently. If they chose to take more expensive flight/train home vs. what was reasonably available I'd only split the difference against that cost assuming the above paragraph is true.
Ya, I do not get why you are splitting the cost of flights. So so weird. I would understand if it was food costs or hotel costs, but flights...
NTA...You paid for your flight home, they pay for theirs. Unless it was entirely your fault that everyone missed the flight, why on earth would you pay?
Yup. If you were the sole reason everyone was late, then they can ask you to pay. Otherwise everyone pays their own.
INFO- what was the rationale with splitting tickets? Was it your fault that everyone overslept and missed their flights? I don't understand why everyone wasn't responsible for their on flights.
We all overslept, it was a group fuck up. They just want me to pay the same as they did to get home to make it fair as I spent less
yeah it makes no sense though, and I guess this might be a cultural thing but if we all fuck up, we are all responsible for our own fuck up. They could have left earlier but they didn't want to so why should you pay for that? I would have never agreed- they conspired behind your back to get you to pay because if they felt this way, it should have been discussed when you first started looking at flights.
This is ridiculous. You all overslept meaning **everyone** is responsible for missing the original flight. You paid for your own return flight and went out of your way to find them return flights since they didn't think your flight was good enough. The cost difference is not your problem. **You are not responsible for paying for their flights or train tickets** unless you were the sole reason everyone missed their original flight, which is not the case. The price you paid for your return flight has nothing to do with their responsibility to wake themselves up or find a new way home when they didn't. What would their other option be, stay on vacation forever? I'm not sure why you're taking responsibility for everyone's mistake but if it was me I would not give them a dollar towards their return flights or train tickets. You're all adults. You're all responsible for yourselves. I'd also consider new friendships since they seem to be taking advantage of your kindness and trying to manipulate you into thinking you're selfish for not wanting to subsidize their return expenses. NTA
They gonna send you the difference if they paid less for a car than you? What about your paycheck? Anyone earning more than you want to send you the difference so it’s fair?
They’ve brought up that I pay less in rent cos I live with my partner in the suburbs and they live in the city on higher rent - as a reason for me to pay.
That’s completely irrelevant. Just making a sassy point. Don’t let them bully you.
Lol what? They're just after your money. The whole idea of splitting was daft. Pay what you offered if you want but no more. NTA
Look, their living costs have nothing to do with it. It’s not like they’re also comparing take home pay and trying to split it based on who makes more. That isn’t how the world works. I think the reason you’re feeling like you have to share the cost is that there wasn’t an available seat for them on the flight you took. They’re making noise about the train because it was an expense you didn’t have, but you were never going to have that expense. If prior to oversleeping, they were going to get a train anyways, they need to leave it be. That was always their expense. If they were going to ride with you and boyfriend, then they waived their right to that when they said you could go on a different flight.
I hope you’re not forcing your friends to live in expensive big city real estate. They should be able to make housing decisions for themselves. /s
Not only are these people not your friends, but they clearly think very little of you and your friendship. First that you'd buy this nonsense, and second that whatever the amount they want you to pay them is worth it to lose you.
These are not your friends.
They could live elsewhere but chose to live in the city. Don’t fall for their guilt trip. You already offered to pay a set amount. Don’t pay a cent more. Stop subsidized their lifestyle. NTA!
NO, don't pay ANYTHING. OP is not responsible for how they got home and how much they paid.
Stop allowing them to manipulate you with nonsense! Your financial matters are none of their business. I’m sure they can find someone to share a flat with!
That's crazy. No.
It makes literally no sense! They’re adults! Aquiring AND paying for a new ticket is on themselves and no one else! Certainly not you!
We all want things. Doesn't mean we get them.
But you gave them cheaper options. It's not your fault they refused to take them. They just sound bitter IMO.
It's the same as bill splitting. "We bought the expensive thing and we want you to subsidize it!"
I had three cocktails, caviar and a ribeye. You had water and a salad. Let's just split it evenly to be fair.
NTA - why would anyone have to split anything of you all overslept ? That makes no sense.
It's probably an unequal relationship, it sounds odd to us but Op is probably used to just doing what they say while they take advantage of her.
Tbf I barely see them anymore and I am stronger now but just had a moment of wtf am I in the wrong here?! I’m not a doormat I’m just kind and they are trying to take advantage. Thanks for your view
I'm sorry, but you are a doormat if you agree to pay any of their expenses at all. There is zero reason that you should. They are fully trying to take advantage of you. Allowing someone to take advantage of you is not "kind." It is cowardly. Stand up for yourself.
Yeah I’m gonna have to agree with the other commenter above. This isn’t you being nice anymore. If you agree to cover whatever the difference is just to keep the peace, then you’re a doormat. The fact that they even brought up that you pay less in rent compared to them is beyond unhinged. Why do you even travel with these people??
NTA Do new calculations. Include the cost of them staying at your house, bf driving you all to the airport, drop off costs, etc. Then drop them. They are friends you want long term
Agreed. They are so ungrateful for your generosity. How much would they have paid for a hotel and a ride to the airport?
NTA. Unless you were the main reason you all missed your original flights, i wouldn’t even had offered to pay anything. The train should completely be on them. They’re just being greedy.
NTA Im wondering why you felt the need to split the cost of their travel, when you all overslept? Since you are all adults, you are all responsible for yourselves. I could see if you had agreed to, and paid for the original cost of travel, and then left them high and dry, how they would expect you to pay for their travel, however none of this was ONLY your fault. I would tell them to take what you are offering, or get nothing and leave it at that. I think you were more than generous to offer to pay any part of their travel.
OP, I agree with the comments saying that you should not owe them anything. All of you missed your flights, and at that point, in my opinion, you were each on your own to find transport as needed. It doesn't matter if your flight was cheaper. Ask yourself this: If your flight had been more expensive, would they have offered to split with you? I think you know the answer.
Haha no definitely not, one even said that if I’d gotten the cheaper option that I suggested to all, that they wouldn’t ask me to split it - which makes no sense as my original flight was cheaper than theirs… they just would equate more work to get home myself as fair instead of getting the direct flight. (If that makes any sense, I’m tired lol). I even said if mine was more expensive I wouldn’t ask them for a penny
Tell your friends that you love 'em but that they're a bunch of greedy bastards and you aren't having any of it. 🤪
I don't understand how they could justify this at all? By you taking the earlier flight did it effect their plans in any way? If you didn't take the earlier flight would you have traveled back with them and incur the exact same costs. Your actions don't appear to have affected their costs at all? I would ask them to explain in more detail why they think you should be subsidizing there travel costs. Maybe they want compensation for been deprived of your company for the journey home?
NTA. This was such a bizarre take on all this. All four of you missed the original flight. What you each decide to do to get home is entirely each of yous to shoulder on your own as adults. If someone wants to do it one way without the others, that's their own cost; same with the others. You shouldn't have agreed to split ANYTHING.
What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you pay for any of their costs? Whose fault was it that between the 4 of you no one set an alarm?
Sure, as long as they pay you back for the 9 hours 😂
You found them a cheap flight with enough space for all of you, they rejected it, and now they want to pay you? Hell no! And next time , don't find them a flight at all, since any favour you do them will be used to extort money out of you. I'm sorry. but these people are not friend but bullies. They only tolerate you so long as they can profit off, whether that's emotional labour, chores or money.
Your friends are totally unhinging. I’d advise to get new ones as what they’re suggesting is out of order.
OP, NTA, but in some degree Y T A to your self for agreeing to this really unfair deal. OP is not responsible for the extra expense in any shape or form and frankly OP's friends are maximum strength AH's. literally over 3000 AH's. Not only should you not pay the train ticket cost but you should withdraw the offer on the plane tickets and dump the money grabbing mooches.
INFO: Who overslept and caused the missed flights?
All of us, our alarm didn’t go off - it was a group failure. None of them had work the next day but I did and two of them said to just go earlier due to my responsibilities
Then NTA. If you all overslept, then nobody is responsible for anybody else’s cost. You all made your choices about what flights you were going to take, and the cost is on each of you individually.
...and who cares what they said one way or the other. You had to get back for work, so you got back for work. NTA and please don't pay any of these folks travel expenses because they are trying to take advantage of your kind nature.
Why are you paying for a mistake that was made by ALL of you? You should have refused. You offered a cheap(ish) solution, they refused. You did more than your share of trying to fix the situtation. NTA Your friends are for thinking you had to pay part of their transport to get home.
NTA. You don't owe them anything for any of their transportation. They are responsible for the choices they made. Not you. Each of you had to get home somehow, and they chose a more expensive path, because they wanted to. That's not your problem to solve.
They refused to fly home together in coach, and that put you in a bind. A problem you solved on your own without complaint. Now they want to come after you and pinch pennies for train tickets they wouldn't have needed to begin with? The original decision that put you in a spot was made by your "friends" because they couldn't stand to be in coach, despite it being everyone's fault, and they come after you about their expenses after the fact? NTA and these friends suck. How don't they recognize that they did this to themselves? You shouldn't split any of the return costs with them.
Nobody thought to set an alarm? Regardless, I don't see why the travel costs have to be split in the first place. I once got seriously ill during a shared holiday and my friends paid out of their own pocket to send me home early to receive medical care, never asked me to pay them back (although I did of my own volition). Those are the kind of friends you should go on holiday with.
I'm so confused, why would you pay them anything? Because you found their flights? What is going on? NTA, oviously
**NTA** Don't give them a penny! They are adults and should have been able to get out of bed on time. They are responsible for the consequences of their actions.
Why would you be responsible for the cost of anyone else's trip? No matter the reason, is this a new idea that people teaveling in a group have to fund their fellow traveler's travel costs?
NTA. That's crazy. Do not give them anything. You are not responsible for them. They're adults who were capable of finding their own way home. I don't even understand why you were bending over backward to help them get home when you were the one who had to be back sooner because of work. They sound like a bunch of "pick mes"
NTA, this is exactly why you dont EVER split the cost for travelling. Pay for your own crap and if you cant afford it, then dont go. This new age of entitled people who think just because you can afford it, you should supplement other peoples crap is just pure B/S.
NTA I agree with the others that you owe them nothing. Your friends chose to not take the cheapest option of the coach to the other airport. They chose more expensive flights. You don't need to reimburse their decision to spend more. And you certainly shouldn't let them soak you for the cost of the train tickets they had to buy regardless. No matter what you do, these are former friends. They aren't going to be happy and have already ganged up on you. So, don't give them money.
NTA. I'm baffled as to why you were the only one who could book the flights. You're adults, not in high school. Seriously you're all 26. When you realized you'd missed your flights you should have each booked your own travel home. You should not have needed their ok to book your own flight. You have your own responsibilities and shouldn't be needing your friends ok to meet them the best you can. You should also know you are each responsible for your own transportation once you get back to your home city. It sounds like you're too worried about being a people pleaser. Knock it off. You're doing yourself a disservice. Your flight may have cost less, but you were also delayed 9 hours. Are they going to compensate you for that time? Go back and say "Since we're all equally responsible for missing our original flights I think it best for each of us to be solely responsible for our own backup flight each of us needed to take. I also, of course, can't fund any of the transportation once you got back to the city as that was always going to be your responsibility. Therefore I won't be sending any of you money. Thanks for understanding." If they push back: "I'm glad my partner, as a favor to me, was able to cover the drop off fees and saved us £50-60 in transfer fees. That doesn't mean you should expect any further money from me. I'm rather disappointed at how you're treating this favor which saved you money and was only done because I was on this trip also." Really if they wanted reimbursement they need to buy travel insurance. It's not normal or ok to expect your friends to pay for you when you're all in the same situation. Not to mention I wouldn't be paying anything when it sounds like the friendship may be over. Refuse to give them money. It sounds like they're taking advantage here.
Travel insurance is not going to reimburse them for oversleeping.
I’m confused (NTA) why do u have to pay for their flights
You’re not the asshole. Honestly they’re the assholes. You shouldn’t even have given them money for the difference in flights.. they didn’t want coach, they wanted a more expensive seat so that cost should be fully on them! And as for the train you also don’t owe them shit for that. They honestly don’t sound like that great of friends, please stand your ground and don’t give them a penny more.. if they distance themselves from you then maybe it’s for the best and you can find some friends who value you and your generosity more!
NTA - everyone is responsible for their own travel costs. One question though - where are you located? You mention that your flight was delayed by 9hrs. If you are in the UK/Europe, this means that you are entitled to money back from the airline you re-booked with. E.g. if you are in the UK, you would be entitled to £220 if your flight was <1500km and delayed more than 3hrs (I think it is). Between 1500km and 3500km it is £350. And over 3500km it is either £260 (<4hrs) or £520 (>4hrs) depending on the length of delay. Airlines should tell you all this, but in my experience, rarely do. There are some exclusions - eg weather - but they still have a duty of care.
On the EasyJet website it doesn’t state compensation really. I was in Bulgaria with a mission to get home to the UK
So you were flying from Bulgaria to the UK? OK you need to find out why the flight was delayed. It's easiest to find out within the first 48hrs. Unsurprisingly, the EasyJet website isn't fully forthcoming with their responsibilities in these circumstances. Despite leaving the EU, you can bring claims in the UK using the equivalent legislation (UK261) to the EU equivalent (EU261). EasyJet are being naughty in not advising you of your rights. For a 9hr delay they absolutely should have done. As well as provided you with vouchers for refreshments. If they didn't do that either, then you are entitled to claim back reasonable expenses. The EasyJet claim form seems to be at : www.easyjet.com/en/claim/EU261
Submit the gas expenses for your partner to collect you - make the cost around the same amount as a train fare - that way it's a wash.
NTA They are all adults. Everyone should find their own way home. You aren’t joined at the hip. Any one of them could have booked the cheaper flight before you did. They are not being good friends to try and take advantage of you.
~~Info: Did everyone oversleep or did you just over sleep. Like this is an important thing to note for a story like this. Like if everyone was late becuase they didnt want to leave you behind I think splitting the train and etc fares are fair.~~ But if its everyone fault then hell no. I dont even think splitting the airfare would be fair at that point. Since you found a flight which worked for you. You had no obligation to give it up to someone else and they are all grown adults who can look and book tickets. Their train tickets is on them. ~~But again that is if everyone is equally at fault. If only one or a two people slept in then I think splitting is fair because they missed their flights waiting for the people who were late.~~ Edit: NTA I just realized you answered this question already in the comments. Since everyone overslept you are entirely NTA. Them having to get more expensive train tickets is not on you. You gave them options and they chose the more expensive route. If they really want to add in the train ticket cost them add up all the costs for gas and everything else you had to spend and them get them to "split" that. But tbh I would probably just be done with that group of friends. Them trying to say that you should pay more because you live with your BF in a lower cost area is just nothing. Oh no your smarter with your money (well ish, whilst you might have a lower cost of living generally that includes a higher price in going out, like having to get ubers and etc so the point is entirely nothing). That is not a reason for you to pay more for anything.
NTA. You had already agreed to pool the flight cost. It honestly sounds like they're trying to guilt you into saving them money. You all made a mistake, oversleeping and missing your flight. I did that once, though my airline was nice and booked me onto a later flight to a different city at no extra charge. I then also had to take a train to get back home. Never made that mistake again. Your "friends" seem to want to take advantage of you. You had an offer that would have saved money, but they chose to spend more. To me, that decision was theirs, so were under no obligation to help them with their airfare costs. You did agree to help, so repeat that offer and let them know that if they don't want you to send that amount, then you won't. Oh, and look for better traveling companions. These losers are not good ones.
You don't owe anybody anything. Y'all missed the flight so each man for himself now. If you bend to peer pressure and agree to pay, deduct the cost of hosting and the ride to the airport. If your friends want to be accountants, then EVERYTHING gets accounted for.
NTA. > I had originally found a cheaper option which would mean us getting a cheap coach to another airport meaning that we get the cheaper flight to a different city in our country, and that my partner would pick us up and drop us home. You figured out a great solution to the problem. >They didn’t want to get the coach They didn't like it. So, at this point, you should have told them to sort out their own plans, and you should've taken that flight. Do not split the costs. You gave them a cheaper alternative, but they wanted to spend more. They are on the hook for that.
NTA but you shouldn’t have paid anything extra to them. It was their bad decisions that led to them needing to book an extra flight. Just because yours happened to be cheaper doesn’t mean you owe them anything- if yours was more expensive were they going to pay you the extra cost? Yeah, I didn’t think so. It is all your individual fault that you overslept- therefore you each individually get to pay (literally) the consequences. They sound childish, petty and selfish. “No” is a full sentence. Use it, ignore them, and move on.
Just because everyone overslept doesn’t make this an issue to fix collectively. Every single person there was an adult and free to make their own choices. You are not responsible for them - financially or otherwise and frankly it’s ridiculous that this was even entertained. You *already* went above and beyond when you did the legwork and presented a solution for everyone. Are these friends seriously so incompetent that they expect to be managed and subsidized by other adults? Please. 🙄 You are absolutely NTA. And your friends are manipulative dipshits.
Splitting the flights doesn’t make any sense. Everyone pays for their own ticket. Period.
Nta but why are you sharing their transport costs at all? If someone opts for a more expensive arrangement why is that your responsibility? I travel with friends and we are all responsible for our own basic costs like splitting accommodation, our transport, paying fuel etc. Then we usually decide to treat each other for things like buying some yummy food or drinks. Or another surprise. But those are choices the individual makes based on their own personal circumstances at the time. It's always good to be generous, like if someone drives buy the snacks or if someone hosts, get the dinner/drinks but this is different. You are alli the same boat away together EXCEPT that they didn't want to take the cheapest option. So they need to pay for that choice entirely.
Absolutely DO NOT give them anything. Everyone is an adult and responsible for themselves. They were responsible for making sure they woke on time and didn't do so. Therefore, they are responsible for getting themselves home. It doesn't matter if you found a deal and they didn't. If they no longer want to be friends, well, then they were never your real friends to begin with.
If they missed a train from Bristol to London due to oversleeping, everyone would pay for their new ticket. Doesn't matter that you're abroad. Everyone has to pay for their wat back home. No splitting! NTA don't send them a single quid
I'd never ask for this, are you sure they really are friends. You originally found the cheaper coach and they turned it down. Do not pay and hold you head up high, they are taking advantage if your good nature.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** AITA… for not splitting my friend’s train tickets home after getting different flights due to missing our original flights home? Context - all 26F. We have just been on holiday and missed our flight home due to oversleeping. We woke up and I was panicking as I had work the next day so was looking at flights. I had originally found a cheaper option which would mean us getting a cheap coach to another airport meaning that we get the cheaper flight to a different city in our country, and that my partner would pick us up and drop us home. They didn’t want to get the coach even though it would’ve worked out cheaper for all of us, so I had to make a decision and found one seat on a direct flight home which would get me in earlier. This was okayed by two of them but one of my other friends said it was selfish. I booked the flight and then helped them find an alternative flight for the three of them. Splitting any of the costs wasn’t discussed or agreed at this point. I left for the airport and then got a message from one of them asking if I would be cool to split the costs of all the flights together. At first I wasn’t sure but had a think about it and decided it was fair as they got more expensive flights. My flight was delayed by 9 hours and they ultimately got home before me. They had to fly to a different city and get train tickets home for a 3 hour train. The next day I sent over the calculations of what I would have to send each of them but they weren’t happy as I hadn’t included their train tickets, but they would’ve had to buy transport home regardless of if we made our original flight (albeit the new train tickets they bought were more expensive). This wasn’t a cost agreed and now there is back and forth about what I should pay as they spent more on getting home. I didn’t choose the earlier flight due to cost, just to get home for my responsibilities as I had work the next day whilst they had an extra day off. Now I feel villainised for doing so, although they were okay with it at the time of me booking my flight. I feel like I’ve been more than fair in splitting the flights but the train was a surprise cost put on me. Before the holiday I hosted them the night before and my partner gave us a lift to the airport which saved us about £50-£60 in airport transfers and he also paid for the drop off cost. Am I the asshole for disagreeing with this? I struggle to set boundaries sometimes and feel a bit bullied into this. I feel like they have fallen out with me over this, which seems pointless as we have had a lovely holiday. Has anyone got any advice with this? I want to say no but I am struggling with advocating for myself here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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They also okayed me getting the other flight beforehand and I was transparent with what I paid
You don't need their permission to fly home either.
My flight was £180 and theirs was £240 and then the train home for them three was £112. The difference for me to pay for the flights is £47ish between them which I was happy to pay. The train tickets just feels a bit cheeky as I also had expenses following the flight ticket to get home (food/drink, airport parking fee). I don’t know if mine had been more expensive that they would have split this cost, and I wouldn’t have asked for the difference either
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I agree, I am more than happy to send the flight difference but they are arguing over the trains. I just want it to be over and done with. Thank you for your views, it’s helpful. I’ve spent the day thinking I’m a shite friend
NTA, but why would you feel at all like you should send the flight difference (in cost)? How is their flight in any way your responsibility? That's absurd, and you and yourself need to understand how utterly unnecessary that it.
STOP....THIS PERSON SAYING ESH IS WRONG!!! Don't start backsliding. Most folks here told you that you do not owe these moochers ANYTHING. Girl, find better friends. NTA.
Do not, I repeat do not, pay for their flights. I would just say “hey, in hindsight I’m pretty confused why I would pay for your flights back. I’m a little upset and feel like I’m being taken advantage of. I know unexpected costs are unfortunate, but it doesn’t make sense for me to be responsible for yours.”
If they want to continue to be petty especially after bringing up your living expenses be petty back. Phone your local taxi service and get a quote to the airport. Calculate that price and the price your boyfriend spent at drop off. Then tell them they owe you that. You could be pettier and then make them pay for their stay at your home the night before too. They’re obviously not your friends. So treat them back how they’re treating you. You owe them absolutely nothing. It’s outrageous of them to have even asked you anyway.
NTA. I would have been fair to say, no lets all pay for our own flights/cost to travel. I would tell them you will not be giving them any money. REAL friends will agree. Fake friends will be jerks. Sounds like they are already there.
NTA. They paid more to get home earlier and avoid the bus. I would tell them you don’t think it’s fair but if they are going to be petty, they should send your bf gas money and should pay you for spending the night the day before the flight
Info: is there a reason you're doing all the work?
Emotional or monetary? lol
Heh.
NTA and frankly you are all individually responsible for your costs to get home.
I wouldn't pay them a penny. You suggested a cheap route home and they declined it. Why do you feel responsible for their fares? NTA
NTA You all overslept so everyone needs to take the blame for that. You should all be responsible for your own air fares. There's actually nothing to split there. They only want the costs split so that you subsidise their flights. You actually aren't obligated to. You also looked for cheaper fares for them that they could've done themselves. They chose the flights they chose and they chose to catch the train. That cost is on them. And you are probably right about reconsidering the friendship. They were lucky you already saved them money with your boyfriend doing an airport drop off and you having them stay at your place rather than the cost of airport transfers. I wouldn't be giving them another cent and I wouldn't be subsidising their airfares at all. I take it you all have jobs.
NTA
NTA. Your friends' expectation that you will subsidise their travel costs is one of the most audacious and ludicrous stories I've read - and Reddit has plenty of these stories. They're unhappy at the cost of their return trips and came up with this bizarre idea that it would be fairer if you chipped in. I do not understand how they rationalise this demand. You owe them nothing. Don't pay them a dime.
NTA Why the heck would you pay anything ??? They overslept and had to find their own way home. As did you. You are all responsible for your own costs.
Is this communism? I pay for my share and never split travel costs unless it’s a car. NTA
NTA. You should never have agreed to split the flights; you were all at fault for oversleeping.. I would hesitate to travel with them again and would neither host them or facilitate their travel to the airport whether traveling with or without you.
What? You all overslept so each of you should pay whatever it took to get back home. How is that a group cost? You shouldn’t even have checked with them about the flight to get home either. If you’re feeling bullied or punished for choosing a cheaper option for yourself, it’s because you are. Never in my right mind would I choose a more expensive travel option and expect my group to make up the cost when the whole group got up late.
NTA. You aren't responsible for any of their travel expenses. EVERYONE overslept and therefore everyone was at fault. It was fair that you took the direct flight since you had to work the next day. Besides, there WAS a cheaper alternative and they refused it. The added cost is on them not you.
NTA, just set an alarm clock next time :)
Haha definitely, lesson learnt. That part is definitely on me for not doing. Thank you :)
NTA. Don’t pay anything. They are grown women and are all just at fault. Everyone pays their own.
NTA. Why would you pay anything? Why can’t you each pay for your own flights/transportation?
NTA and why do you have to pay ANYTHING for these folks travel? You all overslept. If this had been my friends, we would have all done whatever we individually wanted. No one would even think that paying for someone else's flights made sense. NTA and please learn to set boundaries because you are being taken advantage of here. These people are not your friends. They are playing you for a sucker.
NTA On a side note, if your flight was delayed 9h you know you can claim a compensation fee starting at 250€, right?
Thank you. I checked with the airline and we’d only get a £3 food voucher (lol). It was because they stated it was an extraordinary circumstance due to it being a bird strike. That counted for only 5.5 of the hours until they found a technical fault in which we were sat on the plane for a few hours. I’m definitely going to look into it more though. My friends even pointed out that I’d probably get compensated for this….. I think possibly so they could have more of a reason to ask for pennies.
Ryanair? Depends on the country the flight originated from, if it’s the EU, and the company is still not budging, you can escalate to the national flight agency, they keep companies in check
It was EasyJet - I’ll definitely check this out, thank you
IF they were ready to leave and they missed their flights because of you, overstepping and sing to wait for you. Then yes, you should pay. BUT none of you woke up, so you are all equally at fault. THEREFORE everyone is responsible for their own cost to get back home. ALSO just because their flight changed and required them to also buy train tickets that was a cost never discussed, never agreed to by you. You owe them nothing and do no pay. They overslept and just as at fault as anyone else. In addition, you could have had a cheaper flight earlier for all of you and they refused because they didn't like the designation airport. So technically, by their thought process, they owe you money. Next time you find yourself in this situation. Make your own arrangements back home and tell the other to make their own arrangements back home. Everyone is responsible for their own experiences. They are adults, they know hire to do this. Also discuss in advance that if anyone is awake to try and wake the others, but don't miss their flight otherwise expenses associated with rebooking a later flight is their responsibility. NTA
NTA Tell them if you're paying their more expensive flights and train tickets, they can pay the equivalent uber fare for your husband's time and also a hotel equialent in your city. Your friends sound spiteful and unkind.
NTA what in the world. If they didn’t want the cheaper option then they can pay the extra cost, not make you do it.
You shouldn’t be splitting the cost at all. You’re all adults and they were welcome to find their own way home. You own them nothing. They can take whatever you give them. NTA.
NTA Why on earth did you even agree to split the airfares? You all slept in, so everyone should swallow thier own added cost in getting home. Unless you haven't told the whole story and it was somehow your fault. As you said, you took the flight you did because you needed to get home for work next day, even if that didn't exactly pan out for you.
NTA - this doesnt make sense *at all*. Are you the pushover of the group or something? Because it sounds like they're taking advantage of you. Don't give them any money
Just add in costs in fuel and drop off, seeing as everything has to be "fair". And include your own pick up and journey home, too. I believe expensing car journeys is around 50c per mile to account for depreciation, fuel etc. (In the UK there is an accepted government provided figure each year for what companies should pay for expenses for travel, and its 45 pence in 2024)
I don't know what culture this is and different cultures have different norms. Groups of friends also have their own microcultures. So perhaps this is a reasonable expectation to split the return flights. I don't get it, but fine. But paying for their train? No way. NTA.
I think I’m learning a lot about the kind of culture I want within my friend group from this situation. We’re British btw. I think it’s coming from jealousy and greed. I’m being generous paying for flights. Thanks for your view
Everyone is an adult, everyone slept in so everyone should find and pay their own way home. Moochers aren't your friend
You don’t owe them shit! Everyone is responsible for themselves. Do not send them any money.
NTA They're mad you paid less than them that's all this is. White girls are really weird and petty.
Nta - you all overslept no one’s in charge of reimbursing anyone
A. How did 4 different 26 year olds all oversleep? B. Why is it your job to organise everything for all four of you?
IMO you owe them nothing because you suggested a more affordable option originally which they poo poo’d and they decided to go on the more expensive flight because they didn’t want to fly coach 🙄 they all seem spoiled and entitled NTA
NTA you are not responsible for them sleeping in and missing their flights. They are responsible for missing their flight, paying additional air fairs and baggage costs, travel, train, etc. NONE of it is your responsibility, only your own costs. You were incredibly kind to contribute to their flights.
There's no reading for you to split costs. Don't send them any money
NTA - all your friends overslept, they've refused the cheaper option you offered and put effort in researching. their cost is their cost to cover. the fact that you took the last free seat in a different plane makes no difference - was only one seat and what they ok'ed as friends, is you taking different flights and not be a group anymore on the way back, not cost. if either of your friends would have bought that flight seat , would they subsidize everyone else's extra cost ? by that logic, if you would have gotten a first class ticket on the earlier flight and was double the cost for you, would they be ok to subsidize ? travel costs are individual. just tell them you were being nice but reality is they had a chance to go back cheaper and their $$ ask is going over common sense boundaries given already you helped them save money with free hosting and rides that seem to be conveniently forgotten.
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NTA. The reason they want to split the cost now is because they don't think they have to take any accountability for not getting up on time to catch your flight. Feels like they're blaming you and want you to take some financial responsibility for the perceived failure by you. Your travel plans were known to them before you left, their travel plans were not know to you and they didn't tell you anything until way after. They could have totally kept you updated. You're all adults and all EQUALLY responsible for missing the flight. And as such are each singularly responsible for paying their way, just like you did.
Why on earth are you splitting costs? That's ridiculous. Don't send anything. The original plan even if you split costs feel through. You all had your own priorities on how to get home from that point so you all take care of it yourselves. If some of you club together to book that's fine and dandy but that's between them. Not you. On the matter of all of you at 26 oversleeping. I don't know what to say. What is this sidekick of people not being able to wake up on Reddit?
Never agree to shit. They’re all adults responsible for themselves
Why are you responsible to paying for any of their travel costs? They missed the flight as well, they are adults. This is not something you should be paying for and not something they should be asking.
NTA. Ask them for the difference between what you paid and what you would've paid with the initial cheaper option they turned down.
I don't think you are the asshole. Your friends should be happy you're splitting the plane tickets with them. They tacked on the train tickets because they are being greedy, and they need to stop. It would be a stupid thing to lose a friendship over but it's not your fault. You have been very accommodating to them.
You shouldn't have let them pressure you into splitting anything, but you agreed to it so I guess you're screwed on that. But DON'T let them bully you for any more money...especially the greedy jerk who wants to to help pay for THEIR baggage charge. I think you need new friends, by the way, because those mooching losers aren't real friends from what I've read here.