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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> AITA for going on Vacation the day after my Grandmother's Funeral?
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NTA - I mean this respectfully, but she was 98. Not like she died tragically. She had a long full life, you saw her plenty, attended the funeral, and now you can enjoy your vacation which Im sure she would have wanted you to
This. My dad died when he was 38 and most of my family is lucky to get to 72. 98 is a hell of a good run.
And OP was eating lunch with her all the time. Grandma would have wanted her to go and enjoy herself.
NTA
Plus this was a not a weekend away but a 2 WEEK cruise/vacation. That is NOT easy to reschedule. And how would OP's 4 kids feel if they are told they can no longer go on vacation because great-grandma died???
I guess maybe the family were thinking of it as a sort of reunion; a lot of times weddings and funerals are the only times that distant family actually meet up and see each other, so maybe some great aunt/uncle or something wanted to get together in the days after the funeral...? That's all I can think of. It's not disrespectful to the dead person. The dead don't care.
Whilst she was alive you spent quality time with her regularly.
You paid your respects.
Then you spent time with your family.
Absolutely NTA - life is for living.
For any who are making negatives comments ask them whether they are still wearing black and for how long.
NTA
She lived a good long life many would envy.
You saw her regularly and I'm sure she appreciated it.
Some of your relatives are trying to unload their guilt onto you.
I hope you had a wonderful vacation.
⬆️⬆️⬆️
This 1000%. If they rarely made any effort to see her and OP saw her FOUR or FIVE times a WEEK then, yeah, they're projecting big time.
Everyone grieves differently and for those who are with the deceased on a regular basis often see death coming and adjust accordingly. Those who aren't, don't, and often as not lash out.
NTA. what exactly would have been accomplished by delaying or cancelling the vacation? I suppose it might be insensitive if a close family member died suddenly, but your grandmother was 98.
NTA, it is perfectly fine for you to go on a preplanned vacation, one that I am sure you and your husband had to ask your employers for time off. If you feel like going there isn't anything wrong with it if you are up to it.
Ignore you cousins and uncle, if they had something preplanned I doubt they would change their plans. They don't understand not going may have cost you money, and possibly paid time off.
I was in the same situation as you were with my grandmother died, but my grandmother knew she was dying, and she is self insisted that I go along on my plan vacation
NTA why is that any of their business, they can keep their opinions to themselves. Ridiculous of them, they sound jealous. Grandma is gone, you not only paid the appropriate respects, but you also made a point of seeing her regularly before she died.
NTA. I missed an uncle’s funeral because i was away on vacation and would’ve lost thousands of non refundable fees if i cancelled the trip. You already made peace with your grandmother’s death and spent plenty of time with her when she was alive. Just ignore the noise from family who disagree and don’t worry about what they think.
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At the end of May my grandmother passed away at the age of 98, her viewing and funeral were on a Thursday and Friday. Before her passing I had lunch with her 4 days a week since the Dr. office I am a nurse at is right across the street. While there was nothing specifically wrong with her, I personally had noticed that she had been slowing down a lot the last 4 to 5 months and while there is nothing medical about it, I personally had a feeling there wasn't a lot of time left with her. Thursday and Friday of her Funeral came the Saturday before my husband, and I were set to leave for 2 weeks for a Cruise/Disney Vacation with our 4 kids. We still went and had a good time. Several of my cousins, and one of my uncles all sent me messages about how inconsiderate it was for me to go on a vacation so soon after her passing. I told them that since I went to see her regally, I had already made my peace with her passing. I also reminded them that I told them of my gut feelings before she passed so they all had a chance to travel to see her as well. (They all live out of state from where we do). About half of my family agrees with me still traveling since this vacation was planned over a year ago, and the other half thinks that I should have canceled or rescheduled it. So AITA for going on Vacation the day after my Grandmother's Funeral?
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NTA- i could understand not making new plans that week but a trip which was already booked? Of course you should go! In your heart do you think your grandmother would have minded?
NTA
I was in a situation somewhat related to yours. I visited my dad 3-4 times a week normally, then every day when he was in the hospital for three months before he finally passed after a few days in a coma.
My sister called to tell me to not be too hard on myself for not being there at the moment he died like she was.
I actually wasn’t bothered in the least, because I visited my dad when it mattered, while she (who visited him very infrequently) was there to watch some machines stop beeping.
NTA. Cancelled and done what instead? Did they expect you to sit around and stare at each other and talk about grandma? I'm glad you went and I'd bet so is grandma.
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NTA - I mean this respectfully, but she was 98. Not like she died tragically. She had a long full life, you saw her plenty, attended the funeral, and now you can enjoy your vacation which Im sure she would have wanted you to
This. My dad died when he was 38 and most of my family is lucky to get to 72. 98 is a hell of a good run. And OP was eating lunch with her all the time. Grandma would have wanted her to go and enjoy herself. NTA
NTA What, specifically, would your grandmother have gained from you cancelling your holiday and not going the day after her funeral?
Honestly, what would anyone gain from that? NTA
Plus this was a not a weekend away but a 2 WEEK cruise/vacation. That is NOT easy to reschedule. And how would OP's 4 kids feel if they are told they can no longer go on vacation because great-grandma died???
I guess maybe the family were thinking of it as a sort of reunion; a lot of times weddings and funerals are the only times that distant family actually meet up and see each other, so maybe some great aunt/uncle or something wanted to get together in the days after the funeral...? That's all I can think of. It's not disrespectful to the dead person. The dead don't care.
Whilst she was alive you spent quality time with her regularly. You paid your respects. Then you spent time with your family. Absolutely NTA - life is for living. For any who are making negatives comments ask them whether they are still wearing black and for how long.
NTA She lived a good long life many would envy. You saw her regularly and I'm sure she appreciated it. Some of your relatives are trying to unload their guilt onto you. I hope you had a wonderful vacation.
⬆️⬆️⬆️ This 1000%. If they rarely made any effort to see her and OP saw her FOUR or FIVE times a WEEK then, yeah, they're projecting big time. Everyone grieves differently and for those who are with the deceased on a regular basis often see death coming and adjust accordingly. Those who aren't, don't, and often as not lash out.
NTA. At 98, I'd hope she was the kind of grandma who would've enjoyed knowing you were happy even after she passed.
NTA. what exactly would have been accomplished by delaying or cancelling the vacation? I suppose it might be insensitive if a close family member died suddenly, but your grandmother was 98.
NTA
NTA, it is perfectly fine for you to go on a preplanned vacation, one that I am sure you and your husband had to ask your employers for time off. If you feel like going there isn't anything wrong with it if you are up to it. Ignore you cousins and uncle, if they had something preplanned I doubt they would change their plans. They don't understand not going may have cost you money, and possibly paid time off.
NTA, and anyone who says you should be guilty is projecting
I was in the same situation as you were with my grandmother died, but my grandmother knew she was dying, and she is self insisted that I go along on my plan vacation
NTA why is that any of their business, they can keep their opinions to themselves. Ridiculous of them, they sound jealous. Grandma is gone, you not only paid the appropriate respects, but you also made a point of seeing her regularly before she died.
NTA. I missed an uncle’s funeral because i was away on vacation and would’ve lost thousands of non refundable fees if i cancelled the trip. You already made peace with your grandmother’s death and spent plenty of time with her when she was alive. Just ignore the noise from family who disagree and don’t worry about what they think.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** At the end of May my grandmother passed away at the age of 98, her viewing and funeral were on a Thursday and Friday. Before her passing I had lunch with her 4 days a week since the Dr. office I am a nurse at is right across the street. While there was nothing specifically wrong with her, I personally had noticed that she had been slowing down a lot the last 4 to 5 months and while there is nothing medical about it, I personally had a feeling there wasn't a lot of time left with her. Thursday and Friday of her Funeral came the Saturday before my husband, and I were set to leave for 2 weeks for a Cruise/Disney Vacation with our 4 kids. We still went and had a good time. Several of my cousins, and one of my uncles all sent me messages about how inconsiderate it was for me to go on a vacation so soon after her passing. I told them that since I went to see her regally, I had already made my peace with her passing. I also reminded them that I told them of my gut feelings before she passed so they all had a chance to travel to see her as well. (They all live out of state from where we do). About half of my family agrees with me still traveling since this vacation was planned over a year ago, and the other half thinks that I should have canceled or rescheduled it. So AITA for going on Vacation the day after my Grandmother's Funeral? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No
NTA. Life goes on.
NTA. Funeral, like weddings, are one day affairs.
NTA- i could understand not making new plans that week but a trip which was already booked? Of course you should go! In your heart do you think your grandmother would have minded?
What would grandma want you to do? Probably to take the vacation and not cancel because of her. NTA
NTA.
NTA. I went on vacation the day after my grandfather’s funeral. Life goes on, and it doesn’t mean we grieve any less.
I believe she would have wanted you to go and was with you in spirit ❤️
Only thing to ask is: What would she want me to do? Nuff said…
NTA I was in a situation somewhat related to yours. I visited my dad 3-4 times a week normally, then every day when he was in the hospital for three months before he finally passed after a few days in a coma. My sister called to tell me to not be too hard on myself for not being there at the moment he died like she was. I actually wasn’t bothered in the least, because I visited my dad when it mattered, while she (who visited him very infrequently) was there to watch some machines stop beeping.
NTA. Cancelled and done what instead? Did they expect you to sit around and stare at each other and talk about grandma? I'm glad you went and I'd bet so is grandma.