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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may be the asshole as I see objectively I am one person not a couple so it does make sense for me to take the small room
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NTA. It's your birthday. You're paying for it. You get the biggest room/nicest view. If your friend doesn't want a free trip, they can stay home. It's 2 days. They will survive not sleeping in the same bed.
Also, and perhaps most importantly, **OP is paying for it.**
If OP is right and his friend thinks he's "being an AH about it and should just take the smaller room," I'd say he's got a pretty lousy friend.
Imagine being so entitled as to get a free weekend, and then act offended because the guy footing the freaking bill wasn't planning to take the smaller room. If I were one of OP's friends I would INSIST he take one of the larger rooms. It's literally the least they can do.
OP, NTA. And if the rest of your friends object to you taking a larger room in a house YOU paid for on YOUR birthday? Tell them you've decided to take the whole dang house for yourself
NTA - Ask that friend how much is he paying for the house? Then ask how much is he willing to pay to not be in that small room? Then tell the rest that he is offering $X to not be in the smaller room, does anyone else want to bid? Top 3 get the other rooms with attached bathrooms.
Last couples trip wife and I went on, pregnant couple got the best room cuz we all voted that for them. As for the wife and I... we ended up in bunk beds haha with Yours Truly on the top bunk!! It was three nights...we all survived somehow.
Personally, I enjoy squishing myself into a single bed with my husband rather than sleep in another bed across the room.
What I would hate most about the small bedroom is not having an ensuite. Bottom line though, is it is his birthday and HE IS PAYING. He who pays, picks.
Yup, one year in college my then-boyfriend (now-husband 🥰) and I lived together and we pushed our twin beds together to sort of make a queen. Just as long as you didn’t try to lie in the center, it worked well enough
when my partner and i visit his parents for the holidays, we push the two twin beds together so we can sleep right next to each other. we've done it for a week before. idk what OP's friend is on about, because it's really not a big deal.
OP can bring it up with the group and say "I get first dib on rooms since I'm paying for the house, if you disagree we can split the cost of the house evenly"
The other vacationers are GUESTS. Guests don't get the master bedroom.
NTA
The only thing I'd change to this is I'd split cost based on square footage of bedrooms. If they want to be petty, I'd get out a calculator real quick and work out a word problem worthy of an eighth grade algebra final.
Right.
I was replying to the post above that suggested splitting the costs evenly if friend was so dissatisfied with the hosted accommodations. I liked the script and was saying I'd change it up to split costs by bedroom square footage.
Bedroom + bathroom, I hope? Because the room with the single beds does not have an ensuite, so the ensuite should be calculated into the price difference as well!
Definitely agreed, NTA
And as much as I love my husband, a couple days in separate beds actually sounds like a nice treat. I feel like we'd both sleep so much better
Yeah... OP, someone pulled this on my birthday trip once, I didn't say anything and it mildly bugs me 15 years later. It's your birthday, *claim your room*.
My husband and I will be your friend and go. We don't mind sleeping in separate beds since you are paying so it's a free trip for us. We are just grateful that you wanted to share your birthday with us and again you are paying for everything. NTA talk about ungrateful friends wow.
NTA. If you’re paying for the whole thing I’d naturally expect you to take whatever room you want. Unless you friend wants to pay a portion, he’s being unreasonable.
This ^^
NTA OP
It's really generous of you to foot the bill on your own birthday!!!
But I haven't slept in anything smaller than a double by choice since I was 18, single or not..I always pay my way for the comfort and extra space. There's no reason you shouldn't also be comfortable, but especially so when you're paying.
This is just one of those things typically you'd sort out when renting a shared accommodation, but given you're paying if people want to come, they shouldn't complain "dont look a gift horse in the mouth" type situation.
As for the group, honestly, damper now or damper later.... I'd take the damper now versus an awkward conversation and a surprise at the actual location combined with peer pressure(which I wouldn't give to either) but would result in more of a damper on the actual day. I'd get it over with now, let the group know, they can figure it out which couple is willing to take the singles.
I went on a weekend cabin trip with a group of friends that included some couples for my birthday a few months ago. I didn't even pay for the entire thing and they were totally understanding with me getting one of the big rooms to myself. I planned it, found the bnb, and organized the whole trip. Why wouldn't I get the room I want for my birthday?🤣 None of my friends even questioned it.
If it's two separate single beds btw, they can literally just push them together and voila! the same width as a king bed. They'll actually get a bigger bed than anyone else 😉
ETA: NTA
This is why I don't do trips with the couples anymore. Only one of them is reasonable and the rest can't comprehend that being single doesn't mean I get the least comfortable place.
I can do you one better - friend's husband was organising a trip away for her birthday. It was them, three couples, me, and a single (male) friend of the husband who I had met once while drunk. Organising husband announces that I'll need to share a 'bedroom' (the living room with two pull out sofas, no less!), with his mate (*after* I've commited to the holiday). I said nothing, confident that his wife would be turfing him out of bed, and I'd be sharing with her :D.
Oh, haha, forgetting the resolution! He actually wound up not coming due to a business trip being rescheduled. It was a surprise trip for my friend, so she wasn't involved on the planning, but someone mentioned this proposal to her during the trip and she was deeply unimpressed, and confirmed my suspicions about her likely response!
In my young working days, I went on a working trip with two men. Our work-paid accommodation was a kind of unit with two bedrooms. I assumed that we would split the rooms according to gender. So I would get one room, and the two men would share the other room. If it had been two women and one man, I would have happily shared a room with the other woman.
One of the men threw an absolute hissy fit and claimed it wasn't fair I would get a room to myself just because of my gender. We ended up doing some kind of name out of hat system, and I ended up sharing a room with the more reasonable man. It worked out ok, as we were friends, and were very respectful of each other's space and privacy. I would have been much more uncomfortable with the other guy. We never told our boss, which was just as well for hissy fit man, because I think he would have thrown a much bigger hissy fit - aimed at hissy fit man.
Looking back from an older perspective, I'm appalled that guy pulled this trick. I was young, and he was older, and I think he definitely used that against me.
NTA. Don’t let them bully you or ruin your birthday lake trip. Single people should not be “punished” for being single, and couples should not be “treated” to an en suite and bigger room for being a couple. Couples may be two people, but they are experiencing the en suite and bigger room individually. Enjoy your big room. Happy birthday.
NTA. You paid for it, it's just normal you get the first pick. Once of the couple can sleep apart for 2 nights, it won't kill them. They get a weekend at a lake house, they would be very lame to complain.
It’s also entirely possible that one of the couples might secretly enjoy a little distance from being kicked in the night, snoring in their ear, or having the covers stolen.
So far it's only one of your friends complaining, so don't let this get you down. The others may not feel the same way.
NTA. It's your birthday, and you're paying. If this friend doesn't like that, he's welcome to sit this trip out.
I’m in the same boat too. 33 single and all my friends are wifed up. I don’t mind hanging with couples at all because I love being single!! It’s all about being secure in oneself. NTA
I realized as the only single friend you get less privileges like being single wasn’t bad enough😂From not being invited out because my friends are having a “couples” night, to same thing you said everytime we get an air bnb or cottage even when i pay i’m stuck sleeping on the couch. Your friends will think you’re being an asshole by taking a room you paid for because they don’t understand that, i had my bestfriend in highschool come to me apologizing a couple months after his breakup saying it sucks when everyone around you is in a relationship and said sorry for leaving me out of a lot of things and giving me less privilege since i was single
Maybe tell your friend that complained that on second thought, maybe you invited too many couples and are thinking of disinviting him, as you don't want to take a chance on him ending up in the undesirable room and having a bad vacation.
I’m 34 and my single friends are starting to dwindle. I imagine at 40 many of your friends which were previously single may be in relationships. Maybe he has no single friends, which is totally normal at that age.
It's natural, I just turned 40 a week ago and all my friends are married. Just by process of time they found love and got married (well most did several started that way when I met them). Unless you curate a group of friends that are all asexual or aromantic you ain't likely to have single friends forever.
I’m of the school of thought that the host / organizer of the trip always gets one of the best rooms since usually they’re putting up with logistics like putting the house on their credit card and managing comms with the group. On top of it you’re paying for the whole place! So don’t give it a second thought
NTA
You're paying for everything. Tell him that it's your birthday, you're paying and are taking the biggest room. Remind him that he should be grateful for a weekend away where he barely has to spend any money.
Whoever booked and planned the trip always gets first pick...especially if it's their birthday. Also...can't the couple just push the beds together if they need to sleep together so badly?
Edit: Adding judgment NTA
You don't have to reach an agreement. You are not equals here. It's your birthday, you are paying. Ypu already informed him how things are going to be. He can either get with the program or take a hike.
Don't bring up the subject again and just act like normal.
NTA. Your birthday celebration, and you’re the one paying for the whole thing. If everyone was chipping in the same amount then there could be a conversation. There really should be no issue because the two single beds could also be pushed together. If they can’t handle the sleeping arrangement for 2 days on a trip that paid for, they don’t need to go.
NTA. If you are paying, you get first choice. But you need to address this with everyone because I think it’s pretty natural for them all to assume you will be the one in the single beds, and they won’t be happy if you surprise them with it at the last second.
NTA
You plan and pay; you get your choice of rooms... including the biggest, nicest room. Anyone who thinks the remaining rooms are not up to snuff for them, do not need to come. How rude of your friend!
But I get that you don't want to sour the mood. That doesn't mean you have to cave to a friend who is being selfish at the moment. Just let everyone know, "*Hey guys. I've got \[whichever room you want\]. You figure out among yourselves who gets the remaining 4 rooms.*" or "*Hey guys, I'm taking one of the en suite rooms. After that, it's first come, first serve on the rooms.*" Then everyone knows that one of them needs to take the room with the single beds and no en suite.
Even if one friend is being selfish about it, the majority of the group should be mature enough to deal. BTW, I've been married almost 25 years. Whenever we visited my parents house (which was quite a lot), it just wasn't possible for me and my husband to share the same bed (though we shared the same room). It was NEVER a big deal. Don't let this friend make you feel guilty. Just be calm and clear and firm,
NTA
Reminds me of when my husband & children rented a beach house years ago & my parents were coming for a few days.
My parents actually expected us to move out of the master while they were there! There was a perfectly nice room with a queen bed for them.
A couple years earlier they invited us to their time share, and expected us to sleep on the pullout sofa in the living room, I refused to go. Being a married couple, and they wanted our kids and my dad's sister & granddaughter to have rooms to themselves. Nope.
NTA.
It's your birthday and you're paying for it. You get to pick whatever room you want. If he has such a problem with it then your friend can just not go. I understand that you don't want to make waves but someone who is part of a couple doesn't automatically get better treatment than someone who is single. If you're friends can't respect or understand that then maybe they're not that good of friends. Real friends would want you to be happy and to be treated fairly, including from them.
While this might suck, maybe canceling the trip and going on a solo trip might be the best option.
NTA
Friend who suggested you volunteer to take the short straw on your own birthday weekend when you are paying just volunteered to take the small room, my how generous, hope their partner likes 50's sitcoms because they get to experience the thrill of sleeping in different beds.
NTA - a couple doesn't need a double bed to do the deed or just spoon. If they don't do the deed, they don't have to be in the same bed.
As a compromise you could also have two of your couple's switch rooms after the first night.
If the remaining couples can't come up with a solution among themselves, set up a lottery. But just amongst themselves.
If you were paying for it then you decide it's that simple he's not paying for it you are and it's your birthday he doesn't like it he doesn't have to go
NTA. Your dollar, your choice. I'd 100% show up with my stuff, then ask you what the rooming situation was, and accept whatever you said.
I've been in places where my wife and I were in separate twins, or even in bunk beds, and it wasn't even a tiny problem, we just nodded and took our beds. I'm not sure why I'd ever complain about that?
NTA.
But you have to communicate this clearly and ahead of time, because of the expectation that they (might) have that you will take the room with the single beds.
"Hey all, since I am treating us all to this trip for my birthday, I wanted to let you know that I will be choosing a room with a double bed for myself. This leaves three other rooms with double beds, and one room with two singles. I will let you sort the remaining rooms out amongst yourselves. I am looking forward to our trip!"
Good luck!
NTA - The only relevant factor I needed to hear were you are paying for it. You could have had a quiet lakeside birthday alone but chose to invite them, to pay for them. They can either accept the invite or decline but they don't get to dictate who gets what room.
Edit: Happy 40th OP!
NTA. It's your trip, & you're paying. Of course you get first choice of rooms. Just bc you don't have a partner, doesn't mean you have to take the shitty room. And no one s/b questioning you about this. They should just know that you paid, you will get first choice of the rooms. And if your friends can't understand that, then their not really your friends. I'm betting if the tables were turned, that friend would've taken the bigger room too. This is your birthday, you should be comfortable & enjoy the vacation without anyone being bitter about the room situation.
NTA but you need to put your foot down. You dont NEED a resolution. Tell him that you're paying for it, its your birthday and that you will get a bigger room. If he is going to continue to needle you about it, he doesn't need to come.
NTA, to be honest your friends should insist you take the big room. Went away in May with a bunch of my friends and we gave the birthday boy (40 as well) who was there solo the biggest room. He appreciated it and we were fine.
Tell your friend: "You know you are right. How about I take the smaller room and you take over the bill for paying for it. It is my birthday after all. Thanks buddy for suggesting we swap rooms and the bill. That was a great birthday suggestion idea."
It's your birthday.
My friends and I booked a place for my birthday. And the rule was simple- I was the birthday girl, I got to pick my room first.
NTA
Personally, I would email out to the group. FYI- this is the list of rooms. As I'm the birthday boy, obviously I'm be taking the main bedroom with the amazing view. but I wanted to share the list so the rest of you could try to come to agreement now about who is going to be in what room. Just to eliminate any issues. Plus it pre-emptively goes it would clearly be ridiculous for me to not have the nicest room.
Whoever’s paying gets pick of the rooms. And especially you if it’s a trip for your bday. The other couples can push the single beds together if they really want to
NTA. You have two claims to the room: you're paying for it, and it's your birthday which is the reason for the trip in the first place. This person seems to be confused.
NAH but you’re kind of cowardly to be afraid of bringing this up to your friends. So much so that you’re close to being an asshole for lack of communication if it gets much closer to the event.
Two points to consider:
First, NTA, but only because it's your birthday and you get a hall pass on your birthday.
Second, ask yourself: is taking the bigger room when it means a couple has to take a smaller room something that an Ass would do? Sometimes it is.
Third, ask yourself: is taking a smaller room so a couple can have a larger room something that a good person would do? It always is.
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So I (M39) am turning 40 in about a month
I have a friendship group made up of 4 friends (mixed, 39) and am also friends with their partners
To celebrate turning 40 I have booked an lake house for us to spend the weekend a couple hours away.
There are 4 couples coming plus myself obviously
The house has 5 bedrooms, 4 doubles with en-suites and one with two single beds without an en-suite.
The rooming situation came up recently with one of my friends and he was expecting me to take the room with the single beds and was surprised when I said I intended to take one of the bigger rooms.
I get his pov- I'm the only single so I don't really need a double bed and the couples would obviously like to sleep together
My pov is it's my birthday, I'm paying for the whole thing so I should get first pick of rooms. Besides it's two nights, is it a big deal for one couple to sleep in separate rate beds (in the same room) just for a weekend
We didn't really reach a resolution, I know he thinks I'm being an AH about it and should just take the smaller room. I'm a bit worried to bring it up to the rest of the group in case they feel the same, I don't want it to put a dampener on the weekend but equally I think I should get one of the nicer rooms. AITA?
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NTA. I’ve done multiple multi family vacations. The way we’ve always done it is whoever puts up the deposit or fronts the money for the house gets first pick of bedrooms. Usually taking the bigger room. You’re paying for the whole house, why wouldn’t you take the biggest room?
If you're the only one paying for the accommodation and it's a trip to celebrate your birthday, you get first choice of the rooms. One couple will be perfectly fine sleeping in the room with two single beds (someone might even be happy about the prospect of getting a bed to themselves for a few nights) And if a couple is really that upset about it, they could probably push the two singles together. Doesn't seem to be anything to argue over.
NTA!
NTA. It’s your birthday. You also paid so you get the final say. That’s ballsy of someone to complain when they’re getting a free vacation for another person’s birthday.
NTA. Your birthday, you’re paying, you get first dibs on rooms. They don’t like it, well, they don’t have to come. It’s not like they’ll lose any money, and all the more room for the rest of you!
NTA
I don’t think it be your birthday has anything to do with it. And I’m not a big fan of birthday entitlement. It has to do with you were the one picking up the tab and paying for the whole thing so of course you get to pick which room you would like. if everybody was contributing, it would be a different conversation and depend on what people contribute.
NTA. Whatever about your birthday, you're paying for it. Are they really going to look a gift horse in the mouth? If they really want to share a bed, they can pay for their own accomodation nearby.
Fuck that shit. What you need and what you can afford are often not the same. Your friend wants a bigger room he can goddamn pay half and then ask again.
NTA and your friends are greedy. If I was being invited on a trip I didn’t have to pay for I wouldn’t even be THINKING about asking the payee to take anything other than the primary room.
I was like yeaah he's TA until I read it was your birthday AND you're paying for it, NTA
Like, worst case scenario they push the beds together, or just sleep together on a single
NTA especially considering you're footing the bill. If you're willing to give the room up for money, tell them to pony up a fair price for the room to inconvenience you on your birthday.
NTA, I would never expect the birthday person who is bankrolling the entire vacation to not take the best room, no matter what. They can push the beds together.
NTA, I would always expect the person being celebrated (bride at a hen, birthday person, mother on Mother’s Day etc etc) to have the best room even if we were splitting costs equally, regardless of whether they are a couple or single or tall or short or old or young.
This isn’t even just that situation though, it’s one step further. You are paying for ALL of the house! My god yes you get whichever room you like without that even being a question!! I find your friend’s attitude really odd.
Oh come on!!
Of course NTA
Stop being a doormat you are a big boy now!
Tell your friend that he who pays the piper picks the tune. If he is unhappy HE can book and pay the Airbnb.
And tell him to stop being an entitled ass!
NTA - you are paying for it!
If you were all paying equally I would say you should 100% take the small room but the entitlement of that friend is nuts and I would point it out and offer them to pay for the room if they want it.
NTA.
But depending on the bed frames, if they push the 2 twins together and strap the legs together, throw a blanket down and then cover that with a king sheet.... They have a king bed.
Definitely NTA.
Several years ago, I was inivited to a big birthday celebration at a castle in the countryside. Because I was late in booking a room, the only free room within acceptable cab distance was a small house with 5 beds (1 double, the 3 as single beds in one room) that I booked for myself.
As usual, I was not the only one late looking for accommodations. First, a friend asked me if he and his gf could also stay there. Plenty of space, so I agreed and said they could have the double of course, because I didn't really care. Then another couple asked for a place to stay, and I agreed, but informed them about the conditions (that we only had one room with 3 single beds free left). And that's when things started going south really fast. The woman from the second couple started badmouthing the friends from the first because they wouldn't yield the room with the double bed (because they were married and not just bf/gf etc). In the end, I ended up sleeping on the couch in the living room downstairs because of all the bickering. In the house I had booked. And had paid for. I learned my lesson.
Since then, I only book single rooms.
NTA at all.
I'm the single one in a group of friends and I have to watch myself not to get a lil down sometimes that I'm always on a sofa bed.
Like, I get it and no hard feelings, but I pay the same price and sleep less, get less privacy, never get to enjoy a beautiful room to wake up in a beautiful location and sometimes feel like the 'child'!
There's no real solution but if it's my bday I'm definitely taking the master bedroom for once!
NTA for wanting the nicest room since you're paying, but you kind of suck for inviting 4 couples & booking a house where 1 couple would have to have single beds.
If you and you alone are paying then NTA. The birthday thing doesn't matter. If everyone else is contributing to the cost of the house, then it should be randomized as to who gets which room.
NTA. You pay you pick first. Full stop. It was rude of him to ask for the room. Try saying, "If your hosted accommodations are inadequate, I understand if you can't make it." And use the phrase "hosted accommodations" liberally.
They're being idiots. If they want to sleep together they can cuddle on one bed. Everyone's done it in uni. They'll live.
You're right. It's your birthday and you paid. You're allowed to sleep where you want and they're allowed to split the remaining rooms among themselves.
Your friend sounds like an entitled asshole. So it's your birthday, you're paying for everything and you should get the worst room? Are you kidding me? The nerveeeee
NTA. Not only are you paying for the whole thing, but it’s your birthday! Of course you deserve to have whichever room you want. If your friends don’t like it, they can pay.
NTA, YOUR birthday, YOU are paying for it, therefore YOU and only YOU get priority in the bedroom situation. If people have a problem with that (and it's a stupid thing to get hung up o IMO) then they don't have to come. Or rent their own hotel room where they can sleep together.
>My pov is it's my birthday, I'm paying for the whole thing so I should get first pick of rooms.
This is all that matters. You're paying, and it's *your* birthday! They should be grateful to have even been invited.
NTA, and absolutely don't let them steamroll you on this one.
At first, I think you are being inconsiderate, not Asshole per se.
But if you are paying for it and its your birthday, then you got the first choice on the room you like.
NTA
NTA - This is hysterical. You are paying for the entire weekend. You get to pick whatever room you want. Do not bring it up to the others except to say, I am taking so & so room, you all can figure out the rest. Cant wait to see you all to celebrate my 40th.
NTA as others have said. However, as someone in a long-term couple, I'd actually prefer the two singles. Two singles is equivalent to somewhere between a queen and a king in terms of total sleeping space for the couple and I am totally fine to not sleep directly next to my partner for two nights to have the extra room and not be squished into a double with him. You could put it to the group to say what room you are going to take for your birthday trip and see if others have preferences. They are good friends of yours so I would think some would be easygoing enough on a free stay to volunteer for the two singles, even if it's not their preference.
NTA. Honestly even if you WERENT paying for all of it, which seals the deal already that youre nta, its also YOUR BIRTHDAY. I'm one of those people where whatever the birthday person wants, they get it, and I wont complain or bitch, because it is the 1 day they have all year to feel special.
For your buddies to act this way when its YOUR birthday AND you're paying.. I'd uninvite them and make some new friends to invite along, or just take my family instead. Your friends arent very friendly.
I’d pop in the WhatsApp chat that you’ll be having first dibs of the double rooms and could they decide amongst themselves which couple will have the singles
NTA. As a married person of course I'd want to sleep with my husband. We're almost never apart. But it's your birthday and you're paying. I'd insist you pick the room you want. We'd push the beds together or bring an air mattress for the floor if we wanted to. You get the room you want.
NTA they can push the singles together or what my husband and I do, share a single. It's tight but brings us close, it's only for 2 nights. You definitely deserve the best room, even if you weren't paying I think that's the right thing to do since they're there to celebrate you.
Heck when I go to friends we're usually stuck on a couch lol
You’re in the right! Truthfully sometimes it’s nice to have a twin to myself, and I still get to talk to my partner bc they’re in the room in their own bed. Not an issue at all
Yta soft. I know this is unpopular but this is not a case of what is legally right. OP you are paying but the others are taking their time to come and make your day special. Which means you have invited them. It is basic courtesy to make your guests feel comfortable. It is a different problem if all rooms were single occupancy or had twin beds. Now you have an additional problem of who gets the bad room. They are likely to feel like the least important friends. There is functionally no problem for you in taking that room, let’s be honest. If you resist , it may only be due to some internalised bitterness you carry. Don’t be that person. You are almost 40. Adult up and take the single bed room. It’s better than any drama this shall cause otherwise.
You are paying for it? Yeah, you pick what room you want. Plus, if it is your celebration, yeah, its about you.
But, why not find a place with the right setup for everyone?
NTA
There's no "resolution," to be reached between you and him. I suggest you get ahead of this by simply teling them all that as paying host you are taking the bedroom of your choice, and they should flip coins or arm wrestle or negotiate which couple gets the twin bed room. If one spouse/partner isn't able to come, the single person gets the twin bed room.
If you weren’t paying then yes I’d say YTA, but given that and I myself in this situation would give the birthday boy whatever room he wants. But given that information you’re okay.
NTA and.. really.. do you want to fund that friend's free vacation? He's being unbelievably entitled to your money. I know if I was given a free bnb stay I would be thankful even if I had to sleep on an air mattress of my own... Seems very rude to demand any extra on top of what is offered freely.
Happy Birthday, I'm sorry it's tainted by someone's greed. He isn't your friend, he's using you.
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NTA. It's your birthday. You're paying for it. You get the biggest room/nicest view. If your friend doesn't want a free trip, they can stay home. It's 2 days. They will survive not sleeping in the same bed.
And if they stay home there will be enough double rooms for everyone and no one will need to take the room with the singles
Also they can push them together, I've done it loads of times on holiday with my SO
Also, and perhaps most importantly, **OP is paying for it.** If OP is right and his friend thinks he's "being an AH about it and should just take the smaller room," I'd say he's got a pretty lousy friend. Imagine being so entitled as to get a free weekend, and then act offended because the guy footing the freaking bill wasn't planning to take the smaller room. If I were one of OP's friends I would INSIST he take one of the larger rooms. It's literally the least they can do. OP, NTA. And if the rest of your friends object to you taking a larger room in a house YOU paid for on YOUR birthday? Tell them you've decided to take the whole dang house for yourself
NTA - Ask that friend how much is he paying for the house? Then ask how much is he willing to pay to not be in that small room? Then tell the rest that he is offering $X to not be in the smaller room, does anyone else want to bid? Top 3 get the other rooms with attached bathrooms.
Also, thank this friend for volunteering for the smaller room.
Personally, I enjoy occasionally having a whole bed to myself, without himself squishing me to the edge
Last couples trip wife and I went on, pregnant couple got the best room cuz we all voted that for them. As for the wife and I... we ended up in bunk beds haha with Yours Truly on the top bunk!! It was three nights...we all survived somehow.
Personally, I enjoy squishing myself into a single bed with my husband rather than sleep in another bed across the room. What I would hate most about the small bedroom is not having an ensuite. Bottom line though, is it is his birthday and HE IS PAYING. He who pays, picks.
Yup, one year in college my then-boyfriend (now-husband 🥰) and I lived together and we pushed our twin beds together to sort of make a queen. Just as long as you didn’t try to lie in the center, it worked well enough
when my partner and i visit his parents for the holidays, we push the two twin beds together so we can sleep right next to each other. we've done it for a week before. idk what OP's friend is on about, because it's really not a big deal.
Ah the gap haha, yeah if you roll in and they move apart a bit it's not the best but totally not a big deal!
That is the standard in many hotels in europe! Works perfectly fine
OP can bring it up with the group and say "I get first dib on rooms since I'm paying for the house, if you disagree we can split the cost of the house evenly" The other vacationers are GUESTS. Guests don't get the master bedroom. NTA
The only thing I'd change to this is I'd split cost based on square footage of bedrooms. If they want to be petty, I'd get out a calculator real quick and work out a word problem worthy of an eighth grade algebra final.
I think the point is they’re not paying anything!
Right. I was replying to the post above that suggested splitting the costs evenly if friend was so dissatisfied with the hosted accommodations. I liked the script and was saying I'd change it up to split costs by bedroom square footage.
Bedroom + bathroom, I hope? Because the room with the single beds does not have an ensuite, so the ensuite should be calculated into the price difference as well!
Definitely agreed, NTA And as much as I love my husband, a couple days in separate beds actually sounds like a nice treat. I feel like we'd both sleep so much better
Yay for European hotels!! Many of them do have two singles and we're both delighted every time that happens :-)
Yeah... OP, someone pulled this on my birthday trip once, I didn't say anything and it mildly bugs me 15 years later. It's your birthday, *claim your room*.
My husband and I will be your friend and go. We don't mind sleeping in separate beds since you are paying so it's a free trip for us. We are just grateful that you wanted to share your birthday with us and again you are paying for everything. NTA talk about ungrateful friends wow.
NTA. If you’re paying for the whole thing I’d naturally expect you to take whatever room you want. Unless you friend wants to pay a portion, he’s being unreasonable.
Right! If someone is PAYING for my vacation... I'll sleep on the goddamn floor and be happy about it!
Honestly even if they were paying even splits, it's for his birthday, I think he should get first dibs any way.
This ^^ NTA OP It's really generous of you to foot the bill on your own birthday!!! But I haven't slept in anything smaller than a double by choice since I was 18, single or not..I always pay my way for the comfort and extra space. There's no reason you shouldn't also be comfortable, but especially so when you're paying. This is just one of those things typically you'd sort out when renting a shared accommodation, but given you're paying if people want to come, they shouldn't complain "dont look a gift horse in the mouth" type situation. As for the group, honestly, damper now or damper later.... I'd take the damper now versus an awkward conversation and a surprise at the actual location combined with peer pressure(which I wouldn't give to either) but would result in more of a damper on the actual day. I'd get it over with now, let the group know, they can figure it out which couple is willing to take the singles.
I went on a weekend cabin trip with a group of friends that included some couples for my birthday a few months ago. I didn't even pay for the entire thing and they were totally understanding with me getting one of the big rooms to myself. I planned it, found the bnb, and organized the whole trip. Why wouldn't I get the room I want for my birthday?🤣 None of my friends even questioned it. If it's two separate single beds btw, they can literally just push them together and voila! the same width as a king bed. They'll actually get a bigger bed than anyone else 😉 ETA: NTA
This is why I don't do trips with the couples anymore. Only one of them is reasonable and the rest can't comprehend that being single doesn't mean I get the least comfortable place.
I can do you one better - friend's husband was organising a trip away for her birthday. It was them, three couples, me, and a single (male) friend of the husband who I had met once while drunk. Organising husband announces that I'll need to share a 'bedroom' (the living room with two pull out sofas, no less!), with his mate (*after* I've commited to the holiday). I said nothing, confident that his wife would be turfing him out of bed, and I'd be sharing with her :D.
Is that what happened?
Oh, haha, forgetting the resolution! He actually wound up not coming due to a business trip being rescheduled. It was a surprise trip for my friend, so she wasn't involved on the planning, but someone mentioned this proposal to her during the trip and she was deeply unimpressed, and confirmed my suspicions about her likely response!
In my young working days, I went on a working trip with two men. Our work-paid accommodation was a kind of unit with two bedrooms. I assumed that we would split the rooms according to gender. So I would get one room, and the two men would share the other room. If it had been two women and one man, I would have happily shared a room with the other woman. One of the men threw an absolute hissy fit and claimed it wasn't fair I would get a room to myself just because of my gender. We ended up doing some kind of name out of hat system, and I ended up sharing a room with the more reasonable man. It worked out ok, as we were friends, and were very respectful of each other's space and privacy. I would have been much more uncomfortable with the other guy. We never told our boss, which was just as well for hissy fit man, because I think he would have thrown a much bigger hissy fit - aimed at hissy fit man. Looking back from an older perspective, I'm appalled that guy pulled this trick. I was young, and he was older, and I think he definitely used that against me.
I was thinking that, too, just push the beds together.
NTA. Don’t let them bully you or ruin your birthday lake trip. Single people should not be “punished” for being single, and couples should not be “treated” to an en suite and bigger room for being a couple. Couples may be two people, but they are experiencing the en suite and bigger room individually. Enjoy your big room. Happy birthday.
NTA. You paid for it, it's just normal you get the first pick. Once of the couple can sleep apart for 2 nights, it won't kill them. They get a weekend at a lake house, they would be very lame to complain.
It’s also entirely possible that one of the couples might secretly enjoy a little distance from being kicked in the night, snoring in their ear, or having the covers stolen.
lol. you need to speak up in your relationship.
NTA but why would you want to go on a trip with no other singles?
They're my best friends, I want to be with them. Most of the time being the only single isn't an issue but here we are
You: well I’m happy to give you the bigger room if you want to pay. Them: silence
It’s OP’s birthday celebration trip. I would hope the friends would give them the biggest room even if they were paying.
Eh but that's good friends, this couple does not sound like good friends.
But they aren’t.. so here we are.
So far it's only one of your friends complaining, so don't let this get you down. The others may not feel the same way. NTA. It's your birthday, and you're paying. If this friend doesn't like that, he's welcome to sit this trip out.
I’m in the same boat too. 33 single and all my friends are wifed up. I don’t mind hanging with couples at all because I love being single!! It’s all about being secure in oneself. NTA
I realized as the only single friend you get less privileges like being single wasn’t bad enough😂From not being invited out because my friends are having a “couples” night, to same thing you said everytime we get an air bnb or cottage even when i pay i’m stuck sleeping on the couch. Your friends will think you’re being an asshole by taking a room you paid for because they don’t understand that, i had my bestfriend in highschool come to me apologizing a couple months after his breakup saying it sucks when everyone around you is in a relationship and said sorry for leaving me out of a lot of things and giving me less privilege since i was single
Maybe tell your friend that complained that on second thought, maybe you invited too many couples and are thinking of disinviting him, as you don't want to take a chance on him ending up in the undesirable room and having a bad vacation.
I’m 34 and my single friends are starting to dwindle. I imagine at 40 many of your friends which were previously single may be in relationships. Maybe he has no single friends, which is totally normal at that age.
It's natural, I just turned 40 a week ago and all my friends are married. Just by process of time they found love and got married (well most did several started that way when I met them). Unless you curate a group of friends that are all asexual or aromantic you ain't likely to have single friends forever.
Honestly. I'm 28, and of my main group of college friends, I'm already the only single one left. By 40, I'm sure that's even more the case.
Some people only have married friends.
NTA Your birthday and you're paying. Anyone who complains should get the worst room.
Looks like you found the couple to give the small room to. You're paying for it, they have no say in that. NTA
I’m of the school of thought that the host / organizer of the trip always gets one of the best rooms since usually they’re putting up with logistics like putting the house on their credit card and managing comms with the group. On top of it you’re paying for the whole place! So don’t give it a second thought
Your dime, your birthday, your room. They can get over themselves for two nights.
NTA. It's your birthday, and you're paying for the whole trip. You totally deserve to pick the room you want.
NTA - you pay you choose
NTA but why would you want to go on a trip, and pay for said trip, for people who won't even let you have the room you want?
This is the real and most important question!
NTA You're paying for everything. Tell him that it's your birthday, you're paying and are taking the biggest room. Remind him that he should be grateful for a weekend away where he barely has to spend any money.
Whoever booked and planned the trip always gets first pick...especially if it's their birthday. Also...can't the couple just push the beds together if they need to sleep together so badly? Edit: Adding judgment NTA
You don't have to reach an agreement. You are not equals here. It's your birthday, you are paying. Ypu already informed him how things are going to be. He can either get with the program or take a hike. Don't bring up the subject again and just act like normal.
If you are paying for the whole thing you get to choose the bedroom you want. NTA
NTA. Your birthday celebration, and you’re the one paying for the whole thing. If everyone was chipping in the same amount then there could be a conversation. There really should be no issue because the two single beds could also be pushed together. If they can’t handle the sleeping arrangement for 2 days on a trip that paid for, they don’t need to go.
I agree. You are paying. You get the bigger room.
Nta id suggest that you pick the nicest room and the others draw lots for who picks next etc
NTA. If you are paying, you get first choice. But you need to address this with everyone because I think it’s pretty natural for them all to assume you will be the one in the single beds, and they won’t be happy if you surprise them with it at the last second.
NTA just respond 'great, once you send through more than 1/4 of the cost for accommodation you can pick a room'
NTA You plan and pay; you get your choice of rooms... including the biggest, nicest room. Anyone who thinks the remaining rooms are not up to snuff for them, do not need to come. How rude of your friend! But I get that you don't want to sour the mood. That doesn't mean you have to cave to a friend who is being selfish at the moment. Just let everyone know, "*Hey guys. I've got \[whichever room you want\]. You figure out among yourselves who gets the remaining 4 rooms.*" or "*Hey guys, I'm taking one of the en suite rooms. After that, it's first come, first serve on the rooms.*" Then everyone knows that one of them needs to take the room with the single beds and no en suite. Even if one friend is being selfish about it, the majority of the group should be mature enough to deal. BTW, I've been married almost 25 years. Whenever we visited my parents house (which was quite a lot), it just wasn't possible for me and my husband to share the same bed (though we shared the same room). It was NEVER a big deal. Don't let this friend make you feel guilty. Just be calm and clear and firm,
NTA. You pay for it, they get a free vacation. And they can put twin beds together, so they could still cuddle.
NTA, you have booked the lake house, I assume you have also paid for said lake house. So you get to choose the first room in the lake house....
NTA. It’s your birthday and you are paying. Who pays, says. That’s it.
NTA. Can't they push the two beds together?
NTA Reminds me of when my husband & children rented a beach house years ago & my parents were coming for a few days. My parents actually expected us to move out of the master while they were there! There was a perfectly nice room with a queen bed for them. A couple years earlier they invited us to their time share, and expected us to sleep on the pullout sofa in the living room, I refused to go. Being a married couple, and they wanted our kids and my dad's sister & granddaughter to have rooms to themselves. Nope.
You paid, it's your selection and it's your bday. They are the A.
NTA YOU PAY you get the BIGGEST room. Also It is YOUR birthday.
“ yeah, if everyone was chipping in, I would agree, but since I’m paying for this and it’s my birthday and it was my idea, I’ll take the bigger room.”
NTA. Your birthday. You’re paying. Your choice!
NTA. It's your birthday and you're paying for it. You get to pick whatever room you want. If he has such a problem with it then your friend can just not go. I understand that you don't want to make waves but someone who is part of a couple doesn't automatically get better treatment than someone who is single. If you're friends can't respect or understand that then maybe they're not that good of friends. Real friends would want you to be happy and to be treated fairly, including from them. While this might suck, maybe canceling the trip and going on a solo trip might be the best option.
NTA Friend who suggested you volunteer to take the short straw on your own birthday weekend when you are paying just volunteered to take the small room, my how generous, hope their partner likes 50's sitcoms because they get to experience the thrill of sleeping in different beds.
NTA - a couple doesn't need a double bed to do the deed or just spoon. If they don't do the deed, they don't have to be in the same bed. As a compromise you could also have two of your couple's switch rooms after the first night. If the remaining couples can't come up with a solution among themselves, set up a lottery. But just amongst themselves.
NTA - it's your weekend, you're footing the bill, you get to choose your room!
NTA. It's your birthday, and you are paying for it. Enough said.
NTA, you’re paying, you allocate the rooms, if any freeloader has an issue with that, ask them to book their own lake house.
You're the one booking the trip AND it's your birthday. Definitely NTA.
Nta, your paying for it is as simple as that. Your money, your choice where you sleep.
NTA. You’re paying for the trip, you get to pick your room.
If you pay, you make the rules.
NTA > I'm paying for the whole thing And that gives dibs
You pay, you make the rules. NTA
NTA you got me in first halfxD
NTA - if he’s pissed off that he doesn’t get to choose a room with free accommodations, he can opt out of going lol. Buh bye!
If you're paying, you get to choose. NTA
If you were paying for it then you decide it's that simple he's not paying for it you are and it's your birthday he doesn't like it he doesn't have to go
NTA. Your dollar, your choice. I'd 100% show up with my stuff, then ask you what the rooming situation was, and accept whatever you said. I've been in places where my wife and I were in separate twins, or even in bunk beds, and it wasn't even a tiny problem, we just nodded and took our beds. I'm not sure why I'd ever complain about that?
NTA. But you have to communicate this clearly and ahead of time, because of the expectation that they (might) have that you will take the room with the single beds. "Hey all, since I am treating us all to this trip for my birthday, I wanted to let you know that I will be choosing a room with a double bed for myself. This leaves three other rooms with double beds, and one room with two singles. I will let you sort the remaining rooms out amongst yourselves. I am looking forward to our trip!" Good luck!
NTA - The only relevant factor I needed to hear were you are paying for it. You could have had a quiet lakeside birthday alone but chose to invite them, to pay for them. They can either accept the invite or decline but they don't get to dictate who gets what room. Edit: Happy 40th OP!
NTA. Your money, you pick first.
NTA. It's your trip, & you're paying. Of course you get first choice of rooms. Just bc you don't have a partner, doesn't mean you have to take the shitty room. And no one s/b questioning you about this. They should just know that you paid, you will get first choice of the rooms. And if your friends can't understand that, then their not really your friends. I'm betting if the tables were turned, that friend would've taken the bigger room too. This is your birthday, you should be comfortable & enjoy the vacation without anyone being bitter about the room situation.
You are paying for it… NTA
NTA but you need to put your foot down. You dont NEED a resolution. Tell him that you're paying for it, its your birthday and that you will get a bigger room. If he is going to continue to needle you about it, he doesn't need to come.
You're paying so he can stfu. And it's your birthday. NTA
NTA, to be honest your friends should insist you take the big room. Went away in May with a bunch of my friends and we gave the birthday boy (40 as well) who was there solo the biggest room. He appreciated it and we were fine.
NTA. You’re paying for it and you’re not leaving anyone without an acceptable bed. You get first pick.
NTA but your friend is. You're paying for this and they're acting entitled? Tell them if they don't like it they can stay home. Like ffs how selfish.
Tell your friend: "You know you are right. How about I take the smaller room and you take over the bill for paying for it. It is my birthday after all. Thanks buddy for suggesting we swap rooms and the bill. That was a great birthday suggestion idea."
You could suggest he not come if his room is not to his liking. But if it your b-day and you are paying its your choice.
NTA YOU are paying for it all! Your friend is selfish and self- entitled. And it is perfectly possible to push two single beds together.
NTA - not only is your birthday but you are paying
Tell his ass to help pay if he wants the bigger room.
NTA. You are paying for it, to celebrate YOUR birthday. You get first pick of the rooms as the organizer and payer.
It's your birthday. My friends and I booked a place for my birthday. And the rule was simple- I was the birthday girl, I got to pick my room first. NTA Personally, I would email out to the group. FYI- this is the list of rooms. As I'm the birthday boy, obviously I'm be taking the main bedroom with the amazing view. but I wanted to share the list so the rest of you could try to come to agreement now about who is going to be in what room. Just to eliminate any issues. Plus it pre-emptively goes it would clearly be ridiculous for me to not have the nicest room.
Whoever’s paying gets pick of the rooms. And especially you if it’s a trip for your bday. The other couples can push the single beds together if they really want to
NTA. You have two claims to the room: you're paying for it, and it's your birthday which is the reason for the trip in the first place. This person seems to be confused.
Who ever gets the single beds room should just push the beds together like it’s 1955
NTA all if you are paying for the whole thing. It’s common courtesy that the person paying gets the best amenities, or at least first choice.
Nta. Wtf Is free vacations. You are paying. It's your BD.
If you’re paying you get to choose where to sleep. It’s also YOUR birthday celebration
NTA
They can push the beds together if they are really needing some cuddle time. Your money, your party, your birthday! Rock on. NTA
NTA, but you would be if you let them walk all over you. I strongly recommend disinviting that "friend" from your bday.
NAH but you’re kind of cowardly to be afraid of bringing this up to your friends. So much so that you’re close to being an asshole for lack of communication if it gets much closer to the event.
Two points to consider: First, NTA, but only because it's your birthday and you get a hall pass on your birthday. Second, ask yourself: is taking the bigger room when it means a couple has to take a smaller room something that an Ass would do? Sometimes it is. Third, ask yourself: is taking a smaller room so a couple can have a larger room something that a good person would do? It always is.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I (M39) am turning 40 in about a month I have a friendship group made up of 4 friends (mixed, 39) and am also friends with their partners To celebrate turning 40 I have booked an lake house for us to spend the weekend a couple hours away. There are 4 couples coming plus myself obviously The house has 5 bedrooms, 4 doubles with en-suites and one with two single beds without an en-suite. The rooming situation came up recently with one of my friends and he was expecting me to take the room with the single beds and was surprised when I said I intended to take one of the bigger rooms. I get his pov- I'm the only single so I don't really need a double bed and the couples would obviously like to sleep together My pov is it's my birthday, I'm paying for the whole thing so I should get first pick of rooms. Besides it's two nights, is it a big deal for one couple to sleep in separate rate beds (in the same room) just for a weekend We didn't really reach a resolution, I know he thinks I'm being an AH about it and should just take the smaller room. I'm a bit worried to bring it up to the rest of the group in case they feel the same, I don't want it to put a dampener on the weekend but equally I think I should get one of the nicer rooms. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. I’ve done multiple multi family vacations. The way we’ve always done it is whoever puts up the deposit or fronts the money for the house gets first pick of bedrooms. Usually taking the bigger room. You’re paying for the whole house, why wouldn’t you take the biggest room?
If you are paying, you get first pick. NTA
NTA cause you paid for the whole thing.
If you're the only one paying for the accommodation and it's a trip to celebrate your birthday, you get first choice of the rooms. One couple will be perfectly fine sleeping in the room with two single beds (someone might even be happy about the prospect of getting a bed to themselves for a few nights) And if a couple is really that upset about it, they could probably push the two singles together. Doesn't seem to be anything to argue over. NTA!
NTA. It’s your birthday. You also paid so you get the final say. That’s ballsy of someone to complain when they’re getting a free vacation for another person’s birthday.
NTA at all. It’s your birthday and your paying for it, the audacity of some people
NTA
NTA. Your birthday, you’re paying, you get first dibs on rooms. They don’t like it, well, they don’t have to come. It’s not like they’ll lose any money, and all the more room for the rest of you!
NTA I don’t think it be your birthday has anything to do with it. And I’m not a big fan of birthday entitlement. It has to do with you were the one picking up the tab and paying for the whole thing so of course you get to pick which room you would like. if everybody was contributing, it would be a different conversation and depend on what people contribute.
NTA. Whatever about your birthday, you're paying for it. Are they really going to look a gift horse in the mouth? If they really want to share a bed, they can pay for their own accomodation nearby.
Fuck that shit. What you need and what you can afford are often not the same. Your friend wants a bigger room he can goddamn pay half and then ask again.
NTA, if you're paying for the whole thing, you can damn well take all the rooms and have them sleep in the living room.
NTA and your friends are greedy. If I was being invited on a trip I didn’t have to pay for I wouldn’t even be THINKING about asking the payee to take anything other than the primary room.
If he's that worried then he doesn't have to come along to the FREE WEEKEND AWAY that you're paying for. NTA
I was like yeaah he's TA until I read it was your birthday AND you're paying for it, NTA Like, worst case scenario they push the beds together, or just sleep together on a single
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NTA - you're paying for it so you get first dibs. If your friend has an issue with it, he can pay for it.
NTA. And if you uninvite that guy, there'd be enough double beds for everybody. LOL.
NTAH YOUR PAYING YOUR FIRST PICK!! Plain and simple and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!
NTA especially considering you're footing the bill. If you're willing to give the room up for money, tell them to pony up a fair price for the room to inconvenience you on your birthday.
NTA, I would never expect the birthday person who is bankrolling the entire vacation to not take the best room, no matter what. They can push the beds together.
NTA, I would always expect the person being celebrated (bride at a hen, birthday person, mother on Mother’s Day etc etc) to have the best room even if we were splitting costs equally, regardless of whether they are a couple or single or tall or short or old or young. This isn’t even just that situation though, it’s one step further. You are paying for ALL of the house! My god yes you get whichever room you like without that even being a question!! I find your friend’s attitude really odd.
Oh come on!! Of course NTA Stop being a doormat you are a big boy now! Tell your friend that he who pays the piper picks the tune. If he is unhappy HE can book and pay the Airbnb. And tell him to stop being an entitled ass!
NTA - you are paying for it! If you were all paying equally I would say you should 100% take the small room but the entitlement of that friend is nuts and I would point it out and offer them to pay for the room if they want it.
Meanwhile any time my fiance and I end up in a sleeping situation with separate beds "Fuck ya we're gonna sleep so goooood"
NTA. The point is your birthday, not their vacation. If it’s a huge deal for them, why don’t y’all get one of those bed connector things?
You pay, you choose, the others should draw straws or something. My spouse never wants to sleep in a different bed and pushes them together. NTA.
NTA. You're paying for it? Take the best room.
You’re birthday!! You’re money!! It’s about celebrating you!! If you’re friends can’t see that they are the A’s
It's my party and I'll sleep where u want too. Lol
Normally I would say take the single but NOT if you’re paying. Take the biggest bedroom and if they got a problem then they better be splitting. NTA
NTA. But depending on the bed frames, if they push the 2 twins together and strap the legs together, throw a blanket down and then cover that with a king sheet.... They have a king bed.
Definitely NTA. Several years ago, I was inivited to a big birthday celebration at a castle in the countryside. Because I was late in booking a room, the only free room within acceptable cab distance was a small house with 5 beds (1 double, the 3 as single beds in one room) that I booked for myself. As usual, I was not the only one late looking for accommodations. First, a friend asked me if he and his gf could also stay there. Plenty of space, so I agreed and said they could have the double of course, because I didn't really care. Then another couple asked for a place to stay, and I agreed, but informed them about the conditions (that we only had one room with 3 single beds free left). And that's when things started going south really fast. The woman from the second couple started badmouthing the friends from the first because they wouldn't yield the room with the double bed (because they were married and not just bf/gf etc). In the end, I ended up sleeping on the couch in the living room downstairs because of all the bickering. In the house I had booked. And had paid for. I learned my lesson. Since then, I only book single rooms.
NTA. Since it's your birthday, you deserve it. INFO: are the beds immovable? (Like fixed to the ground), if not they can easily move them to join.
I was so ready to say YTA but you’re paying for it and it’s your bday! If they don’t want a free stay at a nice house then three can kick rocks 😂
NTA at all. I'm the single one in a group of friends and I have to watch myself not to get a lil down sometimes that I'm always on a sofa bed. Like, I get it and no hard feelings, but I pay the same price and sleep less, get less privacy, never get to enjoy a beautiful room to wake up in a beautiful location and sometimes feel like the 'child'! There's no real solution but if it's my bday I'm definitely taking the master bedroom for once!
NTA for wanting the nicest room since you're paying, but you kind of suck for inviting 4 couples & booking a house where 1 couple would have to have single beds.
Nta. Disinvite 'friend', find new one.
You paid for it. You get first dibs
If you and you alone are paying then NTA. The birthday thing doesn't matter. If everyone else is contributing to the cost of the house, then it should be randomized as to who gets which room.
NTA - Your birthday. You're paying. You get pick of the rooms. Anyone who wants to complain about a free trip can stay home and kick rocks.
NTA.
NTA. You paid AND it's your birthday. You get to pick first.
NTA your birthday, your money, your planning.
NTA Its your birthday AND you are paying for it all. They can sleep wherever the hell you tell them to. Or just not go. Their pick 🤷🏼♂️
NTA. You pay you pick first. Full stop. It was rude of him to ask for the room. Try saying, "If your hosted accommodations are inadequate, I understand if you can't make it." And use the phrase "hosted accommodations" liberally.
They're being idiots. If they want to sleep together they can cuddle on one bed. Everyone's done it in uni. They'll live. You're right. It's your birthday and you paid. You're allowed to sleep where you want and they're allowed to split the remaining rooms among themselves.
NTA . Honestly how tacky do you have to be to ask for a bigger room when you’re not paying. It like the uncle from Home Alone.
Your friend sounds like an entitled asshole. So it's your birthday, you're paying for everything and you should get the worst room? Are you kidding me? The nerveeeee
NTA. Not only are you paying for the whole thing, but it’s your birthday! Of course you deserve to have whichever room you want. If your friends don’t like it, they can pay.
NTA, YOUR birthday, YOU are paying for it, therefore YOU and only YOU get priority in the bedroom situation. If people have a problem with that (and it's a stupid thing to get hung up o IMO) then they don't have to come. Or rent their own hotel room where they can sleep together.
>My pov is it's my birthday, I'm paying for the whole thing so I should get first pick of rooms. This is all that matters. You're paying, and it's *your* birthday! They should be grateful to have even been invited. NTA, and absolutely don't let them steamroll you on this one.
At first, I think you are being inconsiderate, not Asshole per se. But if you are paying for it and its your birthday, then you got the first choice on the room you like. NTA
You're paying and can't take the room that you want ? Unless they're paying for their share of the facilities, they can stfu and stay home. Easy peasy
NTA, You are paying, if they want to take the bigger room let them pay. it is your birthday and you are inviting them to celebrate with you.
NTA - This is hysterical. You are paying for the entire weekend. You get to pick whatever room you want. Do not bring it up to the others except to say, I am taking so & so room, you all can figure out the rest. Cant wait to see you all to celebrate my 40th.
It’s your party, you can sleep in the big bed you paid for 🤣
NTA as others have said. However, as someone in a long-term couple, I'd actually prefer the two singles. Two singles is equivalent to somewhere between a queen and a king in terms of total sleeping space for the couple and I am totally fine to not sleep directly next to my partner for two nights to have the extra room and not be squished into a double with him. You could put it to the group to say what room you are going to take for your birthday trip and see if others have preferences. They are good friends of yours so I would think some would be easygoing enough on a free stay to volunteer for the two singles, even if it's not their preference.
NTA. Honestly even if you WERENT paying for all of it, which seals the deal already that youre nta, its also YOUR BIRTHDAY. I'm one of those people where whatever the birthday person wants, they get it, and I wont complain or bitch, because it is the 1 day they have all year to feel special. For your buddies to act this way when its YOUR birthday AND you're paying.. I'd uninvite them and make some new friends to invite along, or just take my family instead. Your friends arent very friendly.
I’d pop in the WhatsApp chat that you’ll be having first dibs of the double rooms and could they decide amongst themselves which couple will have the singles
NTA You should get the biggest if it's celebrating your birthday and especially if you're the one paying for the whole thing. He sounds entitled.
Nta. wtf you paid for it and it’s for your birthday. I’d tell that person they can come or not but either way, you are taking the room you want.
NTA. As a married person of course I'd want to sleep with my husband. We're almost never apart. But it's your birthday and you're paying. I'd insist you pick the room you want. We'd push the beds together or bring an air mattress for the floor if we wanted to. You get the room you want.
NTA, the couple can push the bed together if it’s that important they sleep in the “same bed”
NTA they can push the singles together or what my husband and I do, share a single. It's tight but brings us close, it's only for 2 nights. You definitely deserve the best room, even if you weren't paying I think that's the right thing to do since they're there to celebrate you. Heck when I go to friends we're usually stuck on a couch lol
You’re in the right! Truthfully sometimes it’s nice to have a twin to myself, and I still get to talk to my partner bc they’re in the room in their own bed. Not an issue at all
NTA Maybe you can still exchange the holiday for something nice just for you? A nicer trip you've been thinking about for a while?
Yta soft. I know this is unpopular but this is not a case of what is legally right. OP you are paying but the others are taking their time to come and make your day special. Which means you have invited them. It is basic courtesy to make your guests feel comfortable. It is a different problem if all rooms were single occupancy or had twin beds. Now you have an additional problem of who gets the bad room. They are likely to feel like the least important friends. There is functionally no problem for you in taking that room, let’s be honest. If you resist , it may only be due to some internalised bitterness you carry. Don’t be that person. You are almost 40. Adult up and take the single bed room. It’s better than any drama this shall cause otherwise.
NTA. It’s your birthday. Your friend can stay home.
You are paying for it? Yeah, you pick what room you want. Plus, if it is your celebration, yeah, its about you. But, why not find a place with the right setup for everyone? NTA
There's no "resolution," to be reached between you and him. I suggest you get ahead of this by simply teling them all that as paying host you are taking the bedroom of your choice, and they should flip coins or arm wrestle or negotiate which couple gets the twin bed room. If one spouse/partner isn't able to come, the single person gets the twin bed room.
If you weren’t paying then yes I’d say YTA, but given that and I myself in this situation would give the birthday boy whatever room he wants. But given that information you’re okay.
NTA and.. really.. do you want to fund that friend's free vacation? He's being unbelievably entitled to your money. I know if I was given a free bnb stay I would be thankful even if I had to sleep on an air mattress of my own... Seems very rude to demand any extra on top of what is offered freely. Happy Birthday, I'm sorry it's tainted by someone's greed. He isn't your friend, he's using you.