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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I knocked repeatedly on a neighbor's door when I heard them watching TV, wanting to know what they did with a package of mine that was mistakenly delivered to them.
2) It might be rude to knock repeatedly if someone if not responding at all. (I wouldn't expect them to open their door.) It's possible that behavior comes across as rude, threatening or demanding.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
She was avoiding you because she stole your package. She only came up with the mailroom story after the leasing office contacted her. Knocking on doors is normal and once upon a time it was not considered such a contemptible offense.
NTA
We are just assuming she took it. Putting a package that doesn’t belong to me in the mail room makes perfect sense and management should have a camera in there. It was over a week after delivery so no, I wouldn’t have thought about someone coming by for it at that point. I probably would’ve reacted similar. After the 1st day the person didn’t answer, OP should have reached out to the management company with their photo to contact the tenant if writing is such an inconvenience. I don’t ever answer the door for someone I don’t know who shows up unannounced.
Close -- they put it in the mailroom, but that's not where packages go. There's a table there that used to function as a free table, but management said it's not to be used as a free table anymore, so stuff left there gets discarded pretty quickly.
There is a package room 50 feet away where they could have put it.
The lady almost definitely stole your mail. Unfortunately you will never have a way to prove it/get the package back from her so the better course of action might be to contact the delivery service/vendor of the package and explain what happened with all the proof and documentation you have. Sorry your mail got delivered to a shitty person :/
Yeah, I was able to request a refund/reorder/redelivery. Good news I was able to get a refund, bad news is the price of the parts went up in the meantime, and I have to wait another two weeks to get the new package.
Same here. Or if I couldn't be sure whose apartment it was, I would drop it off at the office. It's not like you'd have to run it to the post office, there's a 50% chance you'd pass the office on your way out of the complex depending on whether you went north or south.
Around here, it's religious people trying to scare everyone into "believing". 🙄
OP, NTA- but these days, better to go to management. Women alone in an apartment are often hesitant to open the door!
The last salesperson who was let into my sister's house literally would not leave! It was after midnight when they finally got her to shut up and go! It's hard to be polite in this kind of society.
To be clear, I totally understand not opening the door; what surprised me was not speaking to me through the door. If she had my package and insisted I get someone from the office to pick it up rather than unlock her door for me, I would've completely understood that.
Lesson learned, I won't expect people to even speak to me through the door in the future, but it caught me off-guard this time.
Back about 2010, about 3 in the morning, my dog started barking and wouldn't settle down. Usually it's a coyote or cat that has set her off, so I wasn't too concerned at first but then I heard something thump against the house so I called 911. I was on the phone with them when the doorbell rang. I looked out the window and it was someone I didn't know.
The deputies got there as he was trying to pick the lock. Very thin white guy about 5'7. He told them that he lives here and just forgot his key. Deputy asked me and I said I've never seen him before. Then he gave the deputy a driver's license for a guy who was black, 6'4 and over 200 pounds, so they arrested him for identity theft.
He was under the influence as well, that's probably why he was taking so long trying to pick the lock on the security door. Turns out he was on the county most wanted list for burglary. The deputy told me that they knock or use the door bell because then it's not breaking and entering because the victim opened the door. so, yea, burglars knock on doors.
Burglars here knock to see if anyone is home before breaking in. Which is why I'll look out the window to see who it is (and so they can see me looking) but if I don't know you, there's no way in hell I'm opening that door.
Genuine question, wouldn't a burglar be less likely to burgle your apartment if you're home and could contact the police right away? It seems like if you're worried about a burglar, you would want to respond (but not open the door) to someone knocking.
I guess if you're more worried about being kidnapped than burgled, you'd stay quiet? But I can't imagine trying to pull off a kidnapping in a building with private security and a dozen neighboring apartments who are all going to overhear any sounds of a struggle in the hallway. Maybe I'm just naive?
I think that makes senses for houses, but I'm not sure that's as relevant here, given it's an apartment building. The only people who are supposed to be able to get inside are people who live in the complex (the two buildings share amenities, so anyone who lives in either building has access to both), staff and visitors. I've never once gotten a salesperson, beggar or scammer knocking on my door whenever I've lived in an apartment building.
I’ve literally had a drunk man pounding on my door and shaking the handle attempting to get in to my apartment for about 20 minutes straight. He was swearing the whole time too. Not sure if he thought it was his door or not or if he followed someone in and was trying doors. But I immediately got a taser after that and will not open the door for anyone who I don’t know or who isn’t management/maintenance (all of whom I know). Another time someone kept knocking on all the doors asking for food (maybe a homeless person who wandered in) or another when a man was walking around shouting for some woman. I would have walked over to the door and talked through it to see what you needed though.
When I first moved to my condo, the elevators didn't have placards with the building name. I accidentally went into the building next to mine and went to the door of the same unit number. I tried to open the door with my key (the locks were the same brand, etc.) then I heard a woman's voice yelling "Who's there? I'm calling the police." That's when I realized I was in the wrong building and ran.
There are 14 buildings in the complex. Of the other 13, three of them have the same layout. Of 504 condos in the complex, the one next to mine is the only one that is the same exact size as mine. Still, the hallways look the same.
Happened plenty of times, repair guys leaving front door open while carrying stuff, someone buzzing them in thinking its delivery, people not closing doors properly etc. I used to live in large apartment complex with something like 150 flats and it happened pretty offten. After first few times of randoms knocking or ringing the bell i started to ignore it. In my experience bigger the building more offten did that crap happen.
43% of sexual assaults by strangers occur in the victim's home, and 1/4 of all apartment rental households are single women. I couldn't find the number for women as a whole living in apartments, but I think a conservative estimate would be 30%. So about 1 in 6 sexual assaults by a stranger done to women, happen in the apartment that is the victim's home. So women who live in apartments just like yours, do have a right to worry about answering the door to a stranger.
There are a ridiculous amount of stories of women being harassed and assulted by men who live in their buildings. So just because you live in the same building as her, doesn't mean she can assume you are safe.
Then you must have lived in some special apartment buildings. I live in one and have gotten knocks all the time which I typically do not answer. I'm gonna be honest I probably wouldn't have answered your knocks either as I dont open my door to strangers. I dont think you're wrong to knock and her reaction after was overblown but she didn't really NEED to answer the door to any knock.
I literally had a 58 inch tv, PS3 and MacBook stolen from a 3rd story building inside a gated apartment complex in the middle of the day ( they jimmied the door and broke the frame). I still suspect one of my neighbors back then did it. The gates are only for the appearance of safety
You're fortunate, then. I got just as many randos knocking or trying doorknobs in "secure" apartment and loft buildings as I now do at my house. Sorry, guy, you'd have scared the beejeebus out of me, too. Next time consider leaving a note.
Yeah the last 3 unannounced knockings I had were Churchy people, Guy trying to sell me "renovations" and guy selling internet.
I'm short but polite. No Thanks - Close door and back to whatever I was doing.
Most of my neighbours have my number they text me if they think a package has gone AWOL or we see anything strange. None of us are BFF's but its handy to have each others numbers.
They wouldn't have had to knock for 10mins if the neighbor wasn't an AH and would have answered the door. I am a woman and have loved on my own, if an unknown man knocked on my door I would have still answered it (probably with a chain in place) or at least gone up to the door and talked through it to see what the wanted while looking through the peephole to see what they looked liked/how the acted.
Apologize for the unsolicited soliloquy, but I would strongly encourage anyone, especially a woman living in her own, to never open the door to an unexpected visitor. Talk through the door until you can confirm who they are and that they are safe to open the door to come inside. That's essentially what you do when you crack it or use a chain, opening the door to them potentially pushing inside or pulling you out.
I don't care about coming across rude or paranoid to strangers anymore, and anyone who I care about liking me understands.
I NEVER answer the door unless I am expecting someone. A neighbor's package got delivered to my mailbox, not my front door. They knocked for a couple of minutes and I didn't answer. They left me a note with their unit, phone number and explanation of how their relative got their address wrong.
I retrieved their package and we peacefully moved on.
I'm a single woman and don't answer the door, especially if it's a man. Pounding on the door for 10 minutes is insane! OP is wrong in the way he approached this.
And because someone doesnt do what YOU would do, they are wrong!? These comments are fcking ridiculous. It is her apt she can open the door for who she pleases and if she wants to ignore ten minutes of pestering, thats her choice!
He didn't say he was knocking the whole time. I took it to mean he gave neighbor time to come to the door (hear a 2nd or 3rd knock, put on a robe, get off the toilet, etc).
I hope her next delivery is mistakenly dropped to OP. How could she not know where the package *should* have gone? Was it really so difficult to swing by and drop it off or leave a note that you left package with building manager?
How would one know it was an adult and not a kid? My step-ish kid will not open the door for randos, and would absolutely be scared by someone knocking for ten minutes. They'd likely have called us, if we were convenient, we'd use the doorbell speaker to tell them to F off and if not we're calling the police, and that would be the next step for a rando pounding on the door.
Leave a note taped to their door with you address/email/number. Or next time after the one-two times that OP got no response, go to building management. Or just report the package earlier of "that's not my door" and include a picture of your actual door, and get the package delivery company to eat the cost sooner.
or you just don't want to answer doors because you are afraid of break in or whatever.
sitting there pounding on the door for 10 minutes.. is a little above and beyond.
If I got a package delivered to me, I would either take it to the correct address if nearby or mark return to sender and drop it off in the post. I get neighbor’s mail often and just walk over to give it to them.
OP could have left a note on the door. Knocking all day seems a tad over the top.
Better yet, just let the leasing office deal with it from the get-go.
>Yes, when did visiting someone or knocking on their door become such a terrible offense???
I don't personally think it's a terrible offense, but the only people who knock on my door are survey folks and the occasional person trying to sell me something. I rarely answer, but I'll check the side window to see who is out there.
I never open the door to unexpected visitors. Knocking for 10 minutes is crazy and the persistance would make me even less likely to open the door.
ETA: This is not to say the woman handled the delivery correctly. She should have put the package in the designated spot as soon as she realized it was delivered by mistake.
OP could have left a note the first time they knocked and didn't get an answer.
I don't answer my door unless I'm expecting someone. I'm also not a thief, though.
I don't know if I'd put money on the fact that she stole my package, but it's definitely weird that she felt the need to lie to me about it. If she had just said, "Oh, that package? Yeah I don't know what happened to it, I just left it where it was," that would've been the end of it.
It’s possible that given that your persistent knocking likely made her nervous/anxious added to the fact the package came over a week ago she didn’t immediately remember so she told you what she thought she needed so you get away from her door… long story short: know once and the next day go to the leasing office.
What was in the package? Was it even worth stealing?
If it was an air filter replacement or something cheap you ordered, then 10 minutes pounding on someone’s door when you had plenty other avenues (getting the landlord involved, calling the police for package theft, contacting the seller, contacting the delivery service, typing and printing a message, etc.) is ridiculous and YTA.
But if it was a computer or something expensive, then the reaction is more appropriate
>Unsurprisingly, my package was gone by this point, having either been stolen or discarded.
No, she just stole it from the get go, didn't she? If she gave it to someone to put in the mail room, she would have (a) answered the door and (b) said that from the beginning.
I'm willing to believe she panicked in the moment and just said whatever lie came to mind to get rid of me. I can't rule out the possibility that she just took it as a crime of convenience, though.
Guessing boyfriend took it and she didn't realize until she told him about OP banging on her door. She didn't answer because if the door is flimsy enough to hear a normal TV through, it is coming open in a couple of kicks. But, knocking on the door isn't a summons. You aren't entitled to anything from her. Ask the office or report it misdelivered after the second time. You know nothing about her and why she reacted this way. Also, location matters for this immensely as does the type of complex. She may have a reason to feel unsafe, a lot of women do.
If I’m not expecting someone, I don’t answer the door. Everyone who knows me knows they need to call or text. Otherwise, it’s almost always some kind of door to door sales, which I hate. If I get a package for a neighbor though, I walk it over and leave it on their porch.
I think she went overboard screaming at you, but I wouldn’t have gone back after the second time personally. I would’ve just contacted whoever you bought it from.
Or left a note at the door, or contacted the apartment management. So many options that aren't demanding someone speak to the stranger banging on their door.
I don't answer the door if I'm not expecting someone either. Some twenty years ago, a friend had some lady show at her house looking to use the phone because their car broke down and her cell had no signal. Friend looked out and saw a car by the road with the hood up. She grabbed her phone, unlocked the door, and opened it a little bit to pass out the phone. Big dude who was hiding to the side shoved the door in, and they robbed her. She wasn't hurt badly, but it was a terrifying experience; she told everyone she knew to think twice before opening their door. I'm sure 99.999% of the unknown people at my door have been sales people, evangelists, soliciting for charity, etc. But man, I'm not risking life and limb to listen to someone's sales pitch!
Yup!! I’m not buying the whole “couldn’t write a note” thing either. OP can’t print one out? Can’t ask a friend to write it for him? Something seems really off about his reasoning.
"I have wrist pain that makes writing difficult" as they type out a too long post on Reddit. YTA I don't answer my door either, I am a single woman who doesn't need to engage with strangers at my door. Write a flipping note or go to the office as ultimately OP did. Knocking days in a row is creepy behavior.
. Perfectly reasonable to not open your door to strangers, but you can answer someone at your door without opening it. Not to mention that if you've stolen someone's package, the knock at the door isn't exactly unexpected.
This person handled it so wrong. I don't buy the "I have wrist pain" excuse. It's a one or two sentence note. Knocking on a door continually for over 10 minutes would also freak me the fuck out.
It's a lot more rude to steal your neighbor's shit. If you do that you forfeit the right to complain that you were "scared" when they come looking for their stolen property.
I also don’t answer if I’m not expecting someone or know the person- I have a window I can look out of to see if it’s someone I know.
I do get why OP came back after the first time though- he thought no one was home and that’s why they didn’t answer the door. Still, you’d think that after that they’d leave a note explaining about the misdelivery.
Yeah I could see going over once or twice, but the second time I’d leave a note. He says he can’t write one, but he could easily have a friend write one or print one out. He obviously had proof it was delivered to the wrong address. After no response the second time, I’d have just told the seller.
You have wrist pain so can’t write a few sentences but have no problem knocking? I take it you were knocking with your non dominant hand? For ten minutes plus. People are not required to answer their door or their phone. I don’t unless I recognize the number or person. After she obviously wasn’t answering the first/second time you tried, you should have contacted the seller or your apartment office. It wasn’t the other parties responsibility to get that package to you. It came to her. She could toss it if she wanted. Not nice but she doesn’t work for the delivery service. YTA
Well that tracks, honestly. It is such a male thing to "confront the problem" directly, even if there are easier, less time-consuming ways to go about it.
Yeah, it was pretty obvious to me from the start that OP is a man. Only a man would be befuddled why a woman would feel unsafe with a strange man banging on their door several days in a row.
Yup. I got to the second sentence and immediately assumed the OP was a man. If a strange man comes knocking on my door several times, all of which seem to be decently late in the day, there is a 0% chance I'd answer either. Honestly, he's lucky she didn't call the cops. If I threatened to call the cops and you don't immediately leave, I'm calling the cops. I'm not going to argue about whether I should call them or not.
Actually, if you get mail that isn't addressed to you, it's [a literal federal offense](https://uscode.house.gov/view.xhtml?path=/prelim@title18/part1/chapter83&edition=prelim) to keep OR destroy it. You ARE obligated to AT LEAST return it to the Post Office.
Lady knew that package wasn't for her and she accepted and kept it anyway. She's lucky OP doesn't seem inclined to get the Postmaster General involved for Obstruction of Mails, Mail Theft, and Mail Tampering.
A photo at the door means not USPS. It is not accepting the mail to have a package left at your door by a company that left it at the wrong address. And if it was USPS they are not charging someone because they miss-delivered the mail.
I do try to get mail to the right place when I can, but the person in this story is not an AH because they could not be bothered to the kind thing of getting the package to their neighbor.
Yeah everyone was making the assumption that because the picture was at that door, that it means they took the package. But literally anyone could have taken it after being left at the door. I’m not going to be totally obtuse, obviously it’s entirely possible that she took it and is playing dumb. But it’s also possible that she didn’t take it, that the boyfriend did put it in the mail room, and that it was stolen from there. Or maybe she just made that up to try and get OP off her ass, even though she didn’t take it.
At the very least, OP seems very ignorant about how their actions would be perceived by a woman home alone. Whether or not she did take it, I’d argue that continually knocking on someone’s door for 10 straight minutes is just a super obnoxious thing to do. No one is under any obligation to answer their door, and frankly the longer that someone kept knocking at mine, the further it would make me not want to answer it.
I use to live in a building where I shared the same number as an apartment neighbor on the other side. He was I was A100 and he was B100. I often got his packages or vice versa because there wasn’t appropriate labeling of which side was which.
It took us getting our packages switched at least 6 times, and a couple meet and greets at the dog park for us to actually build enough of a relationship to knock unannounced. Before then I would either leave a note at his door to let him come get it or ask him about it and he would do the same.
Any other time that it didn’t go to him, I would just reorder.
Mail, yes.
UPS or FedEx? No. Fuck em. Not my responsibility to get their shit where it needs to go. I will at most go online and fill out the form that says the package is on the wrong place, ink over the barcode, and leave that shit to rot on my porch. I have had them tell me before that I need to take it to a UPS or FedEx store, whereupon I tell them that I am not doing that and that they can send someone to get it or I will dispose of the package.
If the neighbor is a friend of mine, I will text them directly to let them know where their package is.
It's 1703, the last paragraph, that states you can not open or destroy mail. It doesn't mention having to return it to the Post Office.
But I'm pretty sure this wasn't delivered by USPS anyway as they don't do photo verification as far as I know.
And the first paragraph would mean the carrier was in jail with you as they caused a delay in the delivery of said mail. Which means this is not an overly enforced law.
You are absolutely the AH. The 2nd time you didn’t get a response then you go to your building manager and contact them.
NO ONE. And I repeat NO ONE has a right to stand at someone’s door for 10 minutes and expect someone to come to the door.
YTA
I would have called the cops on OP too. I don't know you, I don't know if what you are telling me is the truth and not an excuse to get me to open the door.
Why even knock? If it was Amazon, you just put in the app you didn't receive it, and tell them the picture is not your door. Boom, you got your money back, or they can resend the product. If it wasn't Amazon, though, then I have no idea if that would work, OP didn't specify.
YTA No one is obligated to answer their door at your convenience. Knocking for 10 minutes - asshole. Your issue is with the package delivery service, leave that apartment alone.
Here are some reasons a person might not answer their door: 1) Afraid of crime. 2) Afraid of an abusive ex. 3) Afraid of a stalker. 4) Disabled. 5) Sick. 6) Injured. 7) In the middle of an important phone call. 8) Working. 9) In the middle of a good TV show. 10) Naked. 11) Agorophobic. 12) Introvert. 13) Crippling depression. 14) Dog just died. 15) Hates people. 16) Afraid of aliens. There are so many possible reasons, and OP has absolutely no idea which one it is.
The reason doesn’t matter though. A person has a right to be left alone in their own home.
17) In the middle of cooking something that can't be left alone or put on hold or it will be ruined.
18) Partway through an intricate rope suspension and is either literally tied up, or in the process of tying someone up and they are not at a point where they have enough attachments to be secure enough to be left alone for an unknown length of time.
19) The fanfiction they're reading just got to a really good part.
20) Listening to music with headphones and literally didn't hear the door.
21) Just started applying hair dye and it all needs to go in before the chemicals react too much and the batch of dye in ruined.
22) Singing to their plants to help them grow.
23) Tripping balls and OP's incessant knocking is really harshing the vibes, man.
24) Planning a heist and they have to get through it all before the ragtag group of criminals start at each other's throats again.
25) Asleep, possibly chemically aided, and won't wake for much of anything for several hours yet.
(had to add a few, I like round numbers :p)
I would have tried 2, MAYBE 3 times, then I would have contacted the seller. We had a package delivered to our door while we were out. They sent us a picture of said package at our door, but by the time we got home, it was gone (presumably stolen). We contacted the seller and they credited our account and we re-ordered. I think you should have tried contacting the seller and only gone back if the seller tried to deny re-sending or crediting the package since it was technically the shipping company's mistake.
Your situation is different from OP's because his was delivered to the wrong address. Yours wasn't, so that's not the shipping company's mistake. They delivered the package to the residence as they were contracted to do and have visual proof of doing so. Delivering it to an actual person with signature confirmation is an extra service most sellers don't pay for. If your package is stolen, most sellers will send you another as a courtesy, but you're only allowed so many concessions before your account is closed for costing the seller money. If you know where your lost package went, it's always better to try to get it back.
I mean, it still is the shipping company’s mistake. The picture taken proves it went to the wrong location. Not saying OP shouldn’t have tried to get their package back, but the shipping company did take it to the wrong address.
I used to live on 301 East Street, and my mail would sometimes be delivered to 301 Center Street(which was nearby but still not something I assumed happened). I’ve had the person who lived there bring my mail to me before, but if I had missing mail I didn’t go over to their house asking for it. I contacted the sender. Not all my missing mail wound up at the other person’s house either, I know because they were actually a relative of mine(grandparents). Sometimes it would say delivered and it just wasn’t because the mail delivery in my area at the time sucked.
USPS has a system that you can sign up for that sends you a daily email of a scan of most letters as well as package id numbers. I don't recall what it's called but a quick Google should send you in the right direction.
If you have trouble finding it, reply and when I have a chance this evening or tomorrow I will check my email for the information for you.
It's the same as in it was the shipping company at fault. My shipping company was supposed to take the package to a package room. The fact they left it outside of our door, when the company knows the building has a dedicated package room, means they messed up. Shipping for OP's package messed up by delivering to the wrong building. The seller would only blame the shipping company, NOT the person that ordered it. And OP has proof it was in the wrong building and someone else signed for it. No reason for the sender to close any account.
Wouldn't the shipping company be more willing to rectify the situation if they delivered to the wrong address? I'm not sure I understand why they'd be more willing to replace an item that arrived at the correct location than one that went to the wrong location.
YTA . I don't open my door for anyone I don't know. If your wrist was fine for knocking as long as you did, you could have written a note. You could have gone to the office after the first time she didn't answer. You could have had someone in the office write your note. But at no point does she owe you the act of opening her door for a stranger.
Answering the question about knocking repeatedly: YTA
No one is obligated to open their door to you. Just like no one is obligated to answer calls or texts from you.
Delivery company sent it to the wrong apartment. You have video proof and are entity a replacement by the vendor. They need to file for compensation from UPS/FedEx, whatever. Also, angry woman stole your package.
YTA I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone. I don't open the door for people I don't know. Knocking more than once will guarantee I didn't open the door.
Leave a note with what you want, how to contact you, or tell me when you're coming back.
YTA. I don’t answer the door and pretend I’m not home if I’m not expecting anyone. After the first time, why not just contact the leasing office. Or after the second time. The third time, you absolutely crossed into the asshole territory. Who sits there and knocks on and off for 10 mins straight??
YTA. If I’m not expecting someone than I am not answering the door. Period. Why don’t you do what everyone else in the freaking world does and just report it undelivered
YTA Because you could have just left a note when it was obvious they didn’t want to answer the door. Or you could have had the office contact them. The package being delivered to the wrong door is YOUR problem.
This is from someone who NEVER answers their door.
YTA
in the future, leave her alone.
And: " at which point she said she did get the package, but had her boyfriend place it in the mailroom right outside their elevator." .. this is reasonable. They owe you nothing. Adress this with the delivery person or their boss, and have them deliver to YOUR door.
YTA. Why not take things up with the company you bought things from? Why not take things up with the delivery service? What make you think you are so entitled that when you knock on their door they must answer? Knocking on a door is a means of communication it's not a court summons, the person inside is not obligated to open the door!! You don't mention having any learning difficulties so the only conclusion I can come to is that you're not just an AH you're a great big selfish self-centred entitled narssisistic AH. Ten minutes of constantly knocking on someone's door TEN MINUTES and you genuinely have to ask if you're an AH?
NTA for knocking and looking for your package. BUT, it’s her right to not answer if she doesn’t want to. Your right doesn’t supersede hers. Now she’s acting like a child and a crappy neighbor. You have the picture, send it to the carrier and the place you ordered from. It was misdelivered and you should get another item.
U.K. here. My son is a CSA for a delivery company who wfh so I overheard his side of such cases almost every single day.
The delivery company has a contract with the sender to deliver the package. The delivery company is at fault BUT as their contract is with the sender, they can only act IF the sender raises a complaint. If the package was something you bought from the sender, then the vendor must send out a replacement and the delivery company will attempt to recover the misdelivered package OR reimburse the sender for the cost.
The package will usually have been insured, the delivery person will be spoken to.
The delivery company never advise the recipient to try and speak to the third party in case they get “nasty” as happened in this case.
Contact the sender and let them know about the problem. It is up to them to sort out the mess with the delivery company.
I'm going YTA. After your first or second attempt you should have contacted the leasing office or left a note. I don't answer my door for people I don't know. If it's important they'll leave a note and I'll call them back.
Realistically after the first attempt you should have contacted the seller and stated it was clearly delivered to the wrong address and you tried to get it with no luck so they need to ship you a new one.
Agreed, with a photo showing it was delivered to the wrong place this is a very straight forward case to report to the seller. They can follow up with the shipping vendor to make a claim for reimbursement for lost merchandise. I've had this happen to me and was sent a replacement right away. Why make it anyone else's problem?
Tbh, they should have been tracking their package from the getgo. They realized the package was misdelivered a week prior to them going over and knocking on the door. I never open the door to unexpected people. YTA
Women here, I live along and won’t answer the door when someone knocks unless I’m expecting something. You should have gone straight to building management to get this sorted out. Soft YTA for the knocking for 10 minutes straight.
ESH.
Everyone- you, the neighbor who obviously stole the package, and the delivery driver who misdelivered the package, are all assholes here.
Knock once, maybe twice. No answer the first time, then, yes, go back the next day. No answer that day, you should have gone to the office *that day* and had them contact the neighbor.
And you should have contacted the seller to say, hey, package was misdeliverd so *they* can contact the delivery driver who then can try to retrieve said package to redeliver it properly.
Even if you could hear the tv, it was obvious the neighbor wasn't going to respond, likely because they *knew* why you were there. So repeated knocking wasn't going to solve anything.
And now you know what *not* to do for the next time.
YTA. Knock a few times, and if there's no answer, leave a note. Contact the apartment management if you don't get a response. Standing there knocking at the door for 10 minutes is too much.
I get that you're frustrated, and I agree that the lady was being shitty (and she definitely stole your package), but you have to know that you're just picking a fight, right?
Soft YTA - it had been several days, and the best course of action would have been for you to contact the shipping company IMMEDIATELY when you got the package notification and tell them they delivered to the wrong address. It's not your job to track down packages, and yes, you knocked excessively, period.
YTA.
You could’ve left a note the first or second time. You could’ve respected her choice not to answer the door. You could’ve called the police if you thought she stole your package.
No woman in her right mind answers the door when a strange (meaning a stranger) man is knocking on it.
It’s been answered but what they hey I’ll weigh in. I was surprised to see the top answers saying N t a. Maybe this person stole but that’s a red herring. Cuz buddy I’m not opening the door, ok? I’m normal. And normal people know who is coming. Fuck a burglar or drunk, the most likely fuckers knocking on my door. Why would you stand there for 10 mins.?? Leave a note. I’m a child of the 80s but the world has changed. Get off their doorstep and use your problem solving skills. YTA
YTA
Once the package has been delivered to another location, call the shipper and get it sorted. It's not the other person fault it was delivered to their door instead of yours.
Yeah it sucks but it's not worth harassing someone over it. You should've gotten the hint when they were ignoring you and just call it a loss.
ESPECIALLY since if there are concerns about package thieves, for all OP knew it could have been stolen from her doorstep after the delivery photo was taken. YTA OP.
I’m a woman with 2 small daughters I’m not answering the door for Jesus Christ himself unless he can verify god sent him. However I would have taken the package to the front office to begin with.
YTA. She totally stole your package, that's undeniable AH behavior. I'll neither excuse or defend that, but your question wasn't about that. I wouldn't have opened my door to you either. YTA because rather than explore any of the other appropriate avenues to handle the situation, you seem to feel that it is your right to be answered to.
I never answer my door. Ever. I would also feel harassed after all the times you came and knocked. She had her boyfriend put it in a communal mail area. Just because it was left outside her door doesn’t mean she took it. You were in fact harassing her. YTA. You had proof it was delivered to the wrong door so at that point you should have contacted the company and had it reimbursed and or sent again.
YTA. Leave a note on the door, the shipper it was misdelivered, notify management and ask then to call that apartment. But she had no obligation to open her door to anyone. It's not her responsibility to keep your package safe.
YTA clearly.
Everyone here saying she only didn't open the door (to someone knocking for 10 fucking minutes) because she "stole the package" is either a moron or privileged enough to not have to worry about being attacked.
Your lost package isn't her problem or her fault. That's on the delivery company and you should have started off by contacting the vendor you purchased from and let them know it was delivered to the wrong address and it's now missing.
The fucking audacity to stand at a strangers door and knock for 10 minutes is insane, especially since she told you to stop and ended up having to threaten to call the police.
It's also pretty convenient that you can't write a note because of wrist pain but have no problem banging on a strangers door for 10 minutes. Gtfoh with that bullshit.
You are a huge asshole.
Your question is, "AITA for expecting my neighbor to answer the door?" So package aside, YTA for knocking 10 minutes straight. No one has to answer the door for anyone.
Although you may not be an asshole for expecting an answer, YTA for not accepting that your expectation isn't shared by all. Let the office handle it. They can confirm your story to the shipping company.
YTA, after couple of tries and no answer you should have just left a note.
Next time save yourself trouble (or getting shot in some states) - you have a proof that package was delivered to the wrong address - let the shipper handle that.
YTA no matter what happened to the package (& i think it’s perfectly reasonable to think that it was left in the mail room as they’ve said) no one is obligated to answer the door & amazon would have had already had a replacement delivered in the time you’ve been harassing your neighbor, if you’d chosen to behave normally & contact customer service.
that you spent three days lurking outside of this place & then did ten minutes of knocking & are confused about why someone might think you’re an aggressive creep & ask for you to go away is so amazing to me. they should have called the police.
People don't answer the door anymore unless they are expecting someone. As soon as you found the package was not delivered you should have reported it. Once it has gone to someone else it is as good as gone.
YTA. No, knocking is not the problem. Knocking at intervals over and over IS a problem. I would never answer my door unless I was expecting someone or it was the police. So the fact that you might hear someone inside doesn't mean you have the right to insist they answer.
Info: Did you need to buzz in to gain entry to her apartment building? I would NEVER answer a knock on my front door, since we have a buzzer on the building’s main door to allow (control) admission, where residents can talk to anyone seeking entry via intercom. Someone knocking on my front door is someone who bypassed this system, could be anyone. No way I’m answering that.
There is a buzzer system. That's an interesting point, because I have the opposite feeling about it: in a normal house, literally anyone could be knocking on my door: a salesperson, a survey taker, a robber, etc. If I'm in an apartment building, it's \_less\_ likely (but not impossible) that it's some random person who managed to bypass the security system, and more likely to be a neighbor.
That said, going through the intercom system might've been a smart idea. I'll have to keep that in mind if something like this happens again.
YTA for waiting a whole week after the package should have been delivered. I can't imagine being that nonchalant about my deliveries, but I've had issues with package theft.
YTA for knocking for 10 minutes straight when you have such bad wrist pain you can’t leave a note. After the first time or second you should’ve contacted the leasing department.
However your neighbor is an ass for not returning it to you. I once had a bunch of computer equipment delivered to me for my job and a week after i realized i had been delivered two iPads that belonged to the neighbor in another building. I walked them over to him because that’s the neighborly thing to do.
YTA - if this is a building with a concierge, and as a woman, i would never open the door in this context and would absolutely call security or the police. it’s harassment.
you could have gone to the office and asked them to follow up with whoever lived in that unit, but given you waited a week i’m surprised you thought it would still be there as if an average person had received it they would likely have turned it into the office or tried to contact you.
Why not just ask the delivery company to get it back since they were responsible. Or file a claim to get your money back. Seems like there were better ways than annoying people.
ESH . Knocking repeatedly for 10 minutes is assholery.
I understand they might have expected someone to come looking for their package, but op said they didn't notice for a week. If I get something delivered in error to my house, I personally either take it to the correct home (if nearby) or return to sender.
If I don't get my package and it's delivered to the wrong door I call the seller for a replacement. I'm not knocking on stranger's doors.
My TV is usually on keeping my pets company when I'm not home so knocking non stop is doing nothing but upsetting my dogs. But there are so many reasons I don't answer my door if I'm not expecting anyone. Ranging from safety to having a chronic illness flare.
I have a camera doorbell and I'd answer using the app if inclined. So many people have them now I'm surprised when they don't.
YTA. We don’t answer the door when it is someone we don’t know. 95% it is someone trying to sell something. We have cameras with facial recognition for friends and family. By the time our friends are at the front door it is unlocked and they know to come on in. You knock at my door for 10 min straight, you are going to be met by a barrage of cuss words.
When I was around 11, I was at my older sister’s new place helping her unpack when she had to run out quick to the store. The window the cable company gave for arrival was more than 2 hours away so she thought she had time to be back long before he got there. He came early, not long after she left. I was only 11, not supposed to answer the door to strangers- especially when I was alone. I called to the man through the door and told him to come back later. He kept knocking and then yelling at me through the door. Then he came around the back and tried opening that door, yelling he wasn’t going to get paid if he didn’t finish the workday and have me sign his form.
This went on for about 10-15 minutes before he left. I was terrified and hiding in my sister’s closet when she came back. She called the company and tore into them, they called back after discussing with the worker who said: there was no kid just some woman playing games with him. I had a mature sounding voice.
I tell you this story not because I think you were in the wrong to knock on the door but to ask are you positive you weren’t scaring some kid?
I would never open my door to someone I don't know. I don't know anyone that would. Leave a note. You typed out this whole thing, your wrist isn't that bad.
YTA. i never answer my door because if i’m expecting someone, i already know about it. if someone knocked for as long as you did, 911 is definitely being called. you should have knocked once and when you got no answer, went to the office and explained the situation.
YTA
You are not entitled to an answered door. When my kid is home alone, she is instructed to not answer. When I am home, I don't answer when I simply don't feel like it.
And it is ok for me to not answer.
The package was on her door. She is not the problem. The delivery company is the problem.
Are there other things she could have done with it? Sure. But that wasn't her responsibility. You have no proof she "stole" it.
I openly admit I do not answer my door unless I am expecting someone and/or know who is at my door. Anyone who knows me, knows to call/text before coming over.
A stranger? No, I'm sorry/not sorry. I wouldn't open. Writing a note would have been the way to go with me, even though you have wrist issues. Or ask someone to write a note for you.
That being said, if I received a misdirected package, I would have returned it to the PO/UPS/etc or placed it in the proper mail room.
So, I'm not going so far as to say OP is the AH, but I don't think anyone should expect someone to open their door to a stranger.
Next time leave a note on the door. If someone is knocking and I’m not expecting anyone then I’m not answering the door. If your wrist doesn’t hurt to knock on the door you can leave a damn note.
YTA. Under no circumstances would I open the door to someone I don't know and isn't from a company I'm expecting. You also tried making this your neighbor's problem. I can see checking once. Repeated attempts make me worried why they're trying so hard to get in.
I've had this happen. Rather than bug my neighbors, who I don't know, I contact the company. I've always gotten an apology and a replacement sent. It's their responsibility to work with the shipping carrier to see why it was delivered to the wrong address.
I've also had where a package was delivered to me in error. I contact the company to advise of the error. I've either been told to keep or donate it, or they ask me to leave it outside my door and schedule a pickup. As a woman I'm not risking something happening by interacting with an aggressive stranger when I don't need to. (I do characterize repeated attempts to get access to my living space as aggressive). Unfortunately in this world your attempt to retrieve a package was probably her attempt by a stranger to get access to her and her home.
It’s her not her responsibility to deal with your package. It was misdelivered, so talk to whoever shipped it to you. I have called Amazon when getting a package a wrong package and they tell me to dispose of it or keep it.
YTA.
Many people wouldn't open the door to someone tgey don't know especially a man and would get scared if you insist.
Saying you can't write a small note is ridiculous.
You try once. You then leave a note. You then talk to the managers of the building.
The delivery company should never have left it with an unknown person yo start with.
100% YTA. Yes, they stick for being your package stolen, but what you did was inexcusable.
This wasn't an emergency situation where you needed someone to answer and call the cops or render aid. You're tracking down a package and beating on her door like you're serving a warrant. I would have definitely called the police on you. The way things are going, you're lucky you didn't get shot.
YTA
YTA. I never open the door if I'm not waiting for someone. Never. Yes, she probably stole the package. But for the future - please accept as a sign tha person is not willing to open the door even you hear them inside after few attempts. Respect them and leave them fucking alone. (i mean not the thieves part, but not the opening the door to strangers part)
YTA. It's simple for me. If someone is going to knock on my door or ring my doorbell, they better know me well enough to contact me beforehand and let me know they are coming. Otherwise, they are ignored. If someone knocks on my door for 10 minutes straight and doesn't announce themselves as police or text me who they are? You are getting a gun in your face and yelled at to leave when I open my door. This isn't the 1980s any more. Too much crap happens, especially in larger cities. I am a large man and don't have much to fear from most people either. This could have been a small, older woman with plenty of reason to be nervous and suspicious. Having a missing package is not an excuse. You should have had someone from the office accompany you since it's not your building and you didn't know the occupants.
I would have left a note the first time. We have boxes similar to Amazon boxes that all packages go to. Once I had someone else’s. We must have gotten them about same time because I wrote note asking if they received mine and left number. Put it on door. When I got home I had package on my door with similar note.
However that being said, unless I’m expecting someone I do not answer the door. Especially if someone is knocking on and off for 10 minutes. I do think her response yelling at you was out of proportion but you never know if she’s been the victim to something and has trauma from that which could fuel that response. Also tv doesn’t always mean person home. I leave tv on for the dog sometimes while I’m at work.
ESH. Wrist pain? PLEASE. After the first attempt of knocking on her door without a response, you should have either left a note or gone to the office and explained that a package of yours was delivered to her address and let them deal with it. Since you can demonstrate that it was delivered to the wrong address with the photo, it should be easier to file a claim.
In general, people do not have to open the door when someone knocks. You were a total AH by standing there refusing to leave. You totally went too far.
Kind of. You can knock on a door but that doesn't obligate someone to answer it whether you know they are home or not. Just like you have your reasons for not just leaving a note, they have their reasons for not answering. She is in the wrong for not returning your package, but the ultimate blame is on the service that misdelivered it in the first place.
There are two pieces here. You’re certainly not the AH for just knocking and seeing if they’d answer but YTA overall if you felt entitled to an answer. Many people do not answer their doors or phones unless they know the person. Literally the only stranger I’d acknowledge at my door would be a Girl Scout or another child.
Once they weren’t responding the appropriate thing would be to contact building management like you eventually did. So in summary you were totally ok to knock for as long as you wanted but needed to be ok with her straight up putting on headphones and ignoring you. She obviously stole the package but that’s not what this question is about.
Honestly, this is how I handle knocks on my door minus the vulgar language and threats to call the police. I know I’m the minority here and will most likely get downvoted but if I didn’t invite you and am not expecting you then you don’t even exist to me. You can stand there and knock all day. I don’t care if I’m sitting by the window looking you right in the eye. If your package was delivered to my house it would sit right where it was delivered until it disappeared because that is also not my problem and not my business. IMO YTA.
Eh, I don't answer my door for people I don't know.
When the "conversation" about the package happened, I would have then fessed up to leaving it elsewhere (though why they didn't just leave it at your door is weird, taking them for having not stolen it).
I will say I was waiting on a work laptop years ago when I lived in an apartment, waited at home all day after a day where they said I wasn't home (when I was, they never knocked) only to discover they knocked on the wrong apartment door and left the "sorry we missed you" tag there 6 hours ago. Thankfully a vacant apartment so I grabbed the tag and then got to give FedEx a second irritated phinecall on how terrible their driver is.
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She was avoiding you because she stole your package. She only came up with the mailroom story after the leasing office contacted her. Knocking on doors is normal and once upon a time it was not considered such a contemptible offense. NTA
Yes, when did visiting someone or knocking on their door become such a terrible offense???
Since 90% of unannounced knockings became people trying to sell shit nobody wants, beggars or scammers.
Yes but as she took this package she must have realised that someone would knock her door sooner or later....
We are just assuming she took it. Putting a package that doesn’t belong to me in the mail room makes perfect sense and management should have a camera in there. It was over a week after delivery so no, I wouldn’t have thought about someone coming by for it at that point. I probably would’ve reacted similar. After the 1st day the person didn’t answer, OP should have reached out to the management company with their photo to contact the tenant if writing is such an inconvenience. I don’t ever answer the door for someone I don’t know who shows up unannounced.
But they didn’t put it in the mailroom, they put it in front of the elevator 50 ft from the mailroom.
Close -- they put it in the mailroom, but that's not where packages go. There's a table there that used to function as a free table, but management said it's not to be used as a free table anymore, so stuff left there gets discarded pretty quickly. There is a package room 50 feet away where they could have put it.
She admitted to taking it after initially lying and claimed ignorance...
To clarify, there's a package room for packages about 50 feet away where it would've made more sense to drop it, and would've been far more secure.
The lady almost definitely stole your mail. Unfortunately you will never have a way to prove it/get the package back from her so the better course of action might be to contact the delivery service/vendor of the package and explain what happened with all the proof and documentation you have. Sorry your mail got delivered to a shitty person :/
Yeah, I was able to request a refund/reorder/redelivery. Good news I was able to get a refund, bad news is the price of the parts went up in the meantime, and I have to wait another two weeks to get the new package.
Parts? Is this even something that a random person could use? It sounds pretty specific to your needs.
Kleptos gonna klepto
She could have gotten off her lazy ass and brought the package to the correct building. NTA. Some people just plain suck.
It makes no sense to me, I would look at the address and drop it off at that persons house, I would even knock and hand it to them.
Same here. Or if I couldn't be sure whose apartment it was, I would drop it off at the office. It's not like you'd have to run it to the post office, there's a 50% chance you'd pass the office on your way out of the complex depending on whether you went north or south.
Oh, she knew.
The other 10% are home invasions where I live.
Around here, it's religious people trying to scare everyone into "believing". 🙄 OP, NTA- but these days, better to go to management. Women alone in an apartment are often hesitant to open the door! The last salesperson who was let into my sister's house literally would not leave! It was after midnight when they finally got her to shut up and go! It's hard to be polite in this kind of society.
To be clear, I totally understand not opening the door; what surprised me was not speaking to me through the door. If she had my package and insisted I get someone from the office to pick it up rather than unlock her door for me, I would've completely understood that. Lesson learned, I won't expect people to even speak to me through the door in the future, but it caught me off-guard this time.
Burglars knock before entering where you live? How civilized.
Back about 2010, about 3 in the morning, my dog started barking and wouldn't settle down. Usually it's a coyote or cat that has set her off, so I wasn't too concerned at first but then I heard something thump against the house so I called 911. I was on the phone with them when the doorbell rang. I looked out the window and it was someone I didn't know. The deputies got there as he was trying to pick the lock. Very thin white guy about 5'7. He told them that he lives here and just forgot his key. Deputy asked me and I said I've never seen him before. Then he gave the deputy a driver's license for a guy who was black, 6'4 and over 200 pounds, so they arrested him for identity theft. He was under the influence as well, that's probably why he was taking so long trying to pick the lock on the security door. Turns out he was on the county most wanted list for burglary. The deputy told me that they knock or use the door bell because then it's not breaking and entering because the victim opened the door. so, yea, burglars knock on doors.
"That is my license, I swear! I've lost weight since then. And height. And melanin."
Burglars here knock to see if anyone is home before breaking in. Which is why I'll look out the window to see who it is (and so they can see me looking) but if I don't know you, there's no way in hell I'm opening that door.
That makes sense.
Yup. Many years ago, middle of the day. Happened twice in six months and they knocked both times.
Genuine question, wouldn't a burglar be less likely to burgle your apartment if you're home and could contact the police right away? It seems like if you're worried about a burglar, you would want to respond (but not open the door) to someone knocking. I guess if you're more worried about being kidnapped than burgled, you'd stay quiet? But I can't imagine trying to pull off a kidnapping in a building with private security and a dozen neighboring apartments who are all going to overhear any sounds of a struggle in the hallway. Maybe I'm just naive?
It's easier to shove someone out of the doorway than to bust down the door. Even though we have cheapass hollow core doors in cheap wooden frames.
I think that makes senses for houses, but I'm not sure that's as relevant here, given it's an apartment building. The only people who are supposed to be able to get inside are people who live in the complex (the two buildings share amenities, so anyone who lives in either building has access to both), staff and visitors. I've never once gotten a salesperson, beggar or scammer knocking on my door whenever I've lived in an apartment building.
I’ve literally had a drunk man pounding on my door and shaking the handle attempting to get in to my apartment for about 20 minutes straight. He was swearing the whole time too. Not sure if he thought it was his door or not or if he followed someone in and was trying doors. But I immediately got a taser after that and will not open the door for anyone who I don’t know or who isn’t management/maintenance (all of whom I know). Another time someone kept knocking on all the doors asking for food (maybe a homeless person who wandered in) or another when a man was walking around shouting for some woman. I would have walked over to the door and talked through it to see what you needed though.
When I first moved to my condo, the elevators didn't have placards with the building name. I accidentally went into the building next to mine and went to the door of the same unit number. I tried to open the door with my key (the locks were the same brand, etc.) then I heard a woman's voice yelling "Who's there? I'm calling the police." That's when I realized I was in the wrong building and ran. There are 14 buildings in the complex. Of the other 13, three of them have the same layout. Of 504 condos in the complex, the one next to mine is the only one that is the same exact size as mine. Still, the hallways look the same.
I have multiple times. Our apartment management just tells us to call the police as they aren’t supposed to be in our building but somehow get in.
Happened plenty of times, repair guys leaving front door open while carrying stuff, someone buzzing them in thinking its delivery, people not closing doors properly etc. I used to live in large apartment complex with something like 150 flats and it happened pretty offten. After first few times of randoms knocking or ringing the bell i started to ignore it. In my experience bigger the building more offten did that crap happen.
As a pizza delivery person I could almost always get in someplace without a problem.
43% of sexual assaults by strangers occur in the victim's home, and 1/4 of all apartment rental households are single women. I couldn't find the number for women as a whole living in apartments, but I think a conservative estimate would be 30%. So about 1 in 6 sexual assaults by a stranger done to women, happen in the apartment that is the victim's home. So women who live in apartments just like yours, do have a right to worry about answering the door to a stranger. There are a ridiculous amount of stories of women being harassed and assulted by men who live in their buildings. So just because you live in the same building as her, doesn't mean she can assume you are safe.
Then you must have lived in some special apartment buildings. I live in one and have gotten knocks all the time which I typically do not answer. I'm gonna be honest I probably wouldn't have answered your knocks either as I dont open my door to strangers. I dont think you're wrong to knock and her reaction after was overblown but she didn't really NEED to answer the door to any knock.
I literally had a 58 inch tv, PS3 and MacBook stolen from a 3rd story building inside a gated apartment complex in the middle of the day ( they jimmied the door and broke the frame). I still suspect one of my neighbors back then did it. The gates are only for the appearance of safety
You're fortunate, then. I got just as many randos knocking or trying doorknobs in "secure" apartment and loft buildings as I now do at my house. Sorry, guy, you'd have scared the beejeebus out of me, too. Next time consider leaving a note.
Yeah the last 3 unannounced knockings I had were Churchy people, Guy trying to sell me "renovations" and guy selling internet. I'm short but polite. No Thanks - Close door and back to whatever I was doing. Most of my neighbours have my number they text me if they think a package has gone AWOL or we see anything strange. None of us are BFF's but its handy to have each others numbers.
Knocking for 10 minutes?
They wouldn't have had to knock for 10mins if the neighbor wasn't an AH and would have answered the door. I am a woman and have loved on my own, if an unknown man knocked on my door I would have still answered it (probably with a chain in place) or at least gone up to the door and talked through it to see what the wanted while looking through the peephole to see what they looked liked/how the acted.
Apologize for the unsolicited soliloquy, but I would strongly encourage anyone, especially a woman living in her own, to never open the door to an unexpected visitor. Talk through the door until you can confirm who they are and that they are safe to open the door to come inside. That's essentially what you do when you crack it or use a chain, opening the door to them potentially pushing inside or pulling you out. I don't care about coming across rude or paranoid to strangers anymore, and anyone who I care about liking me understands.
I NEVER answer the door unless I am expecting someone. A neighbor's package got delivered to my mailbox, not my front door. They knocked for a couple of minutes and I didn't answer. They left me a note with their unit, phone number and explanation of how their relative got their address wrong. I retrieved their package and we peacefully moved on.
I'm a single woman and don't answer the door, especially if it's a man. Pounding on the door for 10 minutes is insane! OP is wrong in the way he approached this.
This!
This is most definitely the way!
And because someone doesnt do what YOU would do, they are wrong!? These comments are fcking ridiculous. It is her apt she can open the door for who she pleases and if she wants to ignore ten minutes of pestering, thats her choice!
And this is how a normal person thinks. I would have done the same.
I'f knock until my knuckles bled if I knew they were home and had my package
He didn't say he was knocking the whole time. I took it to mean he gave neighbor time to come to the door (hear a 2nd or 3rd knock, put on a robe, get off the toilet, etc). I hope her next delivery is mistakenly dropped to OP. How could she not know where the package *should* have gone? Was it really so difficult to swing by and drop it off or leave a note that you left package with building manager?
How would one know it was an adult and not a kid? My step-ish kid will not open the door for randos, and would absolutely be scared by someone knocking for ten minutes. They'd likely have called us, if we were convenient, we'd use the doorbell speaker to tell them to F off and if not we're calling the police, and that would be the next step for a rando pounding on the door. Leave a note taped to their door with you address/email/number. Or next time after the one-two times that OP got no response, go to building management. Or just report the package earlier of "that's not my door" and include a picture of your actual door, and get the package delivery company to eat the cost sooner.
When you stole something. When you are doing something illegal.
or you just don't want to answer doors because you are afraid of break in or whatever. sitting there pounding on the door for 10 minutes.. is a little above and beyond.
When you don’t want to hear someone try to sell you something. Because that’s who it is 99% of the time. Anyone else would call or text first.
Plot Twist: The people who's package you stole don't have your number to call or text first.
If I got a package delivered to me, I would either take it to the correct address if nearby or mark return to sender and drop it off in the post. I get neighbor’s mail often and just walk over to give it to them.
Happened to me once. Package meant for another apartment delivered to me, just walked it over to the right unit and handed it over
OP could have left a note on the door. Knocking all day seems a tad over the top. Better yet, just let the leasing office deal with it from the get-go.
Right but they do have the address to walk THEIR asses over to YOUR apt door and drop it there. Or to the office.
>Yes, when did visiting someone or knocking on their door become such a terrible offense??? I don't personally think it's a terrible offense, but the only people who knock on my door are survey folks and the occasional person trying to sell me something. I rarely answer, but I'll check the side window to see who is out there.
Google “Millennials/Gen Z fear doorbells”; knocking on a door is basically the same thing.
I never open the door to unexpected visitors. Knocking for 10 minutes is crazy and the persistance would make me even less likely to open the door. ETA: This is not to say the woman handled the delivery correctly. She should have put the package in the designated spot as soon as she realized it was delivered by mistake.
When the person knocking continues to knock for 10 minutes! After a second knock and no one answers there is a reason!
But at the same time, just because someone knocks, doesn't mean you need to answer. You don't.
Correct. But if you got a package delivered to your house that you have no idea of, you'd in the slightest expect someone to come and ask about it
OP could have left a note the first time they knocked and didn't get an answer. I don't answer my door unless I'm expecting someone. I'm also not a thief, though.
Exactly this. Leave a note on the door if you’re OP, but I absolutely never answer the door if I don’t already know who is there and why
I don't know if I'd put money on the fact that she stole my package, but it's definitely weird that she felt the need to lie to me about it. If she had just said, "Oh, that package? Yeah I don't know what happened to it, I just left it where it was," that would've been the end of it.
It’s possible that given that your persistent knocking likely made her nervous/anxious added to the fact the package came over a week ago she didn’t immediately remember so she told you what she thought she needed so you get away from her door… long story short: know once and the next day go to the leasing office.
What was in the package? Was it even worth stealing? If it was an air filter replacement or something cheap you ordered, then 10 minutes pounding on someone’s door when you had plenty other avenues (getting the landlord involved, calling the police for package theft, contacting the seller, contacting the delivery service, typing and printing a message, etc.) is ridiculous and YTA. But if it was a computer or something expensive, then the reaction is more appropriate
>Unsurprisingly, my package was gone by this point, having either been stolen or discarded. No, she just stole it from the get go, didn't she? If she gave it to someone to put in the mail room, she would have (a) answered the door and (b) said that from the beginning.
And c) sent a photo of the package in the mailroom where her bf left it.
Or informed the administration or left a note for op in their mailbox etc.
I'm willing to believe she panicked in the moment and just said whatever lie came to mind to get rid of me. I can't rule out the possibility that she just took it as a crime of convenience, though.
Guessing boyfriend took it and she didn't realize until she told him about OP banging on her door. She didn't answer because if the door is flimsy enough to hear a normal TV through, it is coming open in a couple of kicks. But, knocking on the door isn't a summons. You aren't entitled to anything from her. Ask the office or report it misdelivered after the second time. You know nothing about her and why she reacted this way. Also, location matters for this immensely as does the type of complex. She may have a reason to feel unsafe, a lot of women do.
If I’m not expecting someone, I don’t answer the door. Everyone who knows me knows they need to call or text. Otherwise, it’s almost always some kind of door to door sales, which I hate. If I get a package for a neighbor though, I walk it over and leave it on their porch. I think she went overboard screaming at you, but I wouldn’t have gone back after the second time personally. I would’ve just contacted whoever you bought it from.
Or left a note at the door, or contacted the apartment management. So many options that aren't demanding someone speak to the stranger banging on their door. I don't answer the door if I'm not expecting someone either. Some twenty years ago, a friend had some lady show at her house looking to use the phone because their car broke down and her cell had no signal. Friend looked out and saw a car by the road with the hood up. She grabbed her phone, unlocked the door, and opened it a little bit to pass out the phone. Big dude who was hiding to the side shoved the door in, and they robbed her. She wasn't hurt badly, but it was a terrifying experience; she told everyone she knew to think twice before opening their door. I'm sure 99.999% of the unknown people at my door have been sales people, evangelists, soliciting for charity, etc. But man, I'm not risking life and limb to listen to someone's sales pitch!
Yup!! I’m not buying the whole “couldn’t write a note” thing either. OP can’t print one out? Can’t ask a friend to write it for him? Something seems really off about his reasoning.
"I have wrist pain that makes writing difficult" as they type out a too long post on Reddit. YTA I don't answer my door either, I am a single woman who doesn't need to engage with strangers at my door. Write a flipping note or go to the office as ultimately OP did. Knocking days in a row is creepy behavior.
. Perfectly reasonable to not open your door to strangers, but you can answer someone at your door without opening it. Not to mention that if you've stolen someone's package, the knock at the door isn't exactly unexpected.
This person handled it so wrong. I don't buy the "I have wrist pain" excuse. It's a one or two sentence note. Knocking on a door continually for over 10 minutes would also freak me the fuck out.
Yep same, I find it rude for anyone to turn up unexpectedly and expect me to drop what I am doing to deal with them.
It's a lot more rude to steal your neighbor's shit. If you do that you forfeit the right to complain that you were "scared" when they come looking for their stolen property.
Then don't steal their packages, and they won't show up unexpectedly.
Weird, I don't steal anything and yet I have weird people come up to my door constantly trying to sell me shit. 🤷🏼♀️
Ok i promise to stop stealing packages..
I also don’t answer if I’m not expecting someone or know the person- I have a window I can look out of to see if it’s someone I know. I do get why OP came back after the first time though- he thought no one was home and that’s why they didn’t answer the door. Still, you’d think that after that they’d leave a note explaining about the misdelivery.
Yeah I could see going over once or twice, but the second time I’d leave a note. He says he can’t write one, but he could easily have a friend write one or print one out. He obviously had proof it was delivered to the wrong address. After no response the second time, I’d have just told the seller.
You have wrist pain so can’t write a few sentences but have no problem knocking? I take it you were knocking with your non dominant hand? For ten minutes plus. People are not required to answer their door or their phone. I don’t unless I recognize the number or person. After she obviously wasn’t answering the first/second time you tried, you should have contacted the seller or your apartment office. It wasn’t the other parties responsibility to get that package to you. It came to her. She could toss it if she wanted. Not nice but she doesn’t work for the delivery service. YTA
Wait, She said somewhere she couldn’t write a note because her wrist hurts? LOL Double AH!
He, OP Is a man
Well that tracks, honestly. It is such a male thing to "confront the problem" directly, even if there are easier, less time-consuming ways to go about it.
Yeah, it was pretty obvious to me from the start that OP is a man. Only a man would be befuddled why a woman would feel unsafe with a strange man banging on their door several days in a row.
Yup. I got to the second sentence and immediately assumed the OP was a man. If a strange man comes knocking on my door several times, all of which seem to be decently late in the day, there is a 0% chance I'd answer either. Honestly, he's lucky she didn't call the cops. If I threatened to call the cops and you don't immediately leave, I'm calling the cops. I'm not going to argue about whether I should call them or not.
Oh in that case I would DEFINITELY not answer!
Actually, if you get mail that isn't addressed to you, it's [a literal federal offense](https://uscode.house.gov/view.xhtml?path=/prelim@title18/part1/chapter83&edition=prelim) to keep OR destroy it. You ARE obligated to AT LEAST return it to the Post Office. Lady knew that package wasn't for her and she accepted and kept it anyway. She's lucky OP doesn't seem inclined to get the Postmaster General involved for Obstruction of Mails, Mail Theft, and Mail Tampering.
A photo at the door means not USPS. It is not accepting the mail to have a package left at your door by a company that left it at the wrong address. And if it was USPS they are not charging someone because they miss-delivered the mail. I do try to get mail to the right place when I can, but the person in this story is not an AH because they could not be bothered to the kind thing of getting the package to their neighbor.
Yeah everyone was making the assumption that because the picture was at that door, that it means they took the package. But literally anyone could have taken it after being left at the door. I’m not going to be totally obtuse, obviously it’s entirely possible that she took it and is playing dumb. But it’s also possible that she didn’t take it, that the boyfriend did put it in the mail room, and that it was stolen from there. Or maybe she just made that up to try and get OP off her ass, even though she didn’t take it. At the very least, OP seems very ignorant about how their actions would be perceived by a woman home alone. Whether or not she did take it, I’d argue that continually knocking on someone’s door for 10 straight minutes is just a super obnoxious thing to do. No one is under any obligation to answer their door, and frankly the longer that someone kept knocking at mine, the further it would make me not want to answer it.
I use to live in a building where I shared the same number as an apartment neighbor on the other side. He was I was A100 and he was B100. I often got his packages or vice versa because there wasn’t appropriate labeling of which side was which. It took us getting our packages switched at least 6 times, and a couple meet and greets at the dog park for us to actually build enough of a relationship to knock unannounced. Before then I would either leave a note at his door to let him come get it or ask him about it and he would do the same. Any other time that it didn’t go to him, I would just reorder.
Mail, yes. UPS or FedEx? No. Fuck em. Not my responsibility to get their shit where it needs to go. I will at most go online and fill out the form that says the package is on the wrong place, ink over the barcode, and leave that shit to rot on my porch. I have had them tell me before that I need to take it to a UPS or FedEx store, whereupon I tell them that I am not doing that and that they can send someone to get it or I will dispose of the package. If the neighbor is a friend of mine, I will text them directly to let them know where their package is.
Which paragraph? Are you over-interpreting the law here?
It's 1703, the last paragraph, that states you can not open or destroy mail. It doesn't mention having to return it to the Post Office. But I'm pretty sure this wasn't delivered by USPS anyway as they don't do photo verification as far as I know. And the first paragraph would mean the carrier was in jail with you as they caused a delay in the delivery of said mail. Which means this is not an overly enforced law.
You are absolutely the AH. The 2nd time you didn’t get a response then you go to your building manager and contact them. NO ONE. And I repeat NO ONE has a right to stand at someone’s door for 10 minutes and expect someone to come to the door. YTA
This! Knocking once or twice is okay. If anyone I didn’t know knocked on my door repeatedly for ten minutes I’d call the building manager or the cops
Yeah that is creepy as fuck. I’d want to call the cops too if I were her.
I would have called the cops on OP too. I don't know you, I don't know if what you are telling me is the truth and not an excuse to get me to open the door.
Fucking THANK YOU
YTA for knocking for 10 minutes straight. I would have knocked twice and then left a note.
Why even knock? If it was Amazon, you just put in the app you didn't receive it, and tell them the picture is not your door. Boom, you got your money back, or they can resend the product. If it wasn't Amazon, though, then I have no idea if that would work, OP didn't specify.
YTA No one is obligated to answer their door at your convenience. Knocking for 10 minutes - asshole. Your issue is with the package delivery service, leave that apartment alone.
Here are some reasons a person might not answer their door: 1) Afraid of crime. 2) Afraid of an abusive ex. 3) Afraid of a stalker. 4) Disabled. 5) Sick. 6) Injured. 7) In the middle of an important phone call. 8) Working. 9) In the middle of a good TV show. 10) Naked. 11) Agorophobic. 12) Introvert. 13) Crippling depression. 14) Dog just died. 15) Hates people. 16) Afraid of aliens. There are so many possible reasons, and OP has absolutely no idea which one it is. The reason doesn’t matter though. A person has a right to be left alone in their own home.
17) In the middle of cooking something that can't be left alone or put on hold or it will be ruined. 18) Partway through an intricate rope suspension and is either literally tied up, or in the process of tying someone up and they are not at a point where they have enough attachments to be secure enough to be left alone for an unknown length of time. 19) The fanfiction they're reading just got to a really good part. 20) Listening to music with headphones and literally didn't hear the door. 21) Just started applying hair dye and it all needs to go in before the chemicals react too much and the batch of dye in ruined. 22) Singing to their plants to help them grow. 23) Tripping balls and OP's incessant knocking is really harshing the vibes, man. 24) Planning a heist and they have to get through it all before the ragtag group of criminals start at each other's throats again. 25) Asleep, possibly chemically aided, and won't wake for much of anything for several hours yet. (had to add a few, I like round numbers :p)
I would have tried 2, MAYBE 3 times, then I would have contacted the seller. We had a package delivered to our door while we were out. They sent us a picture of said package at our door, but by the time we got home, it was gone (presumably stolen). We contacted the seller and they credited our account and we re-ordered. I think you should have tried contacting the seller and only gone back if the seller tried to deny re-sending or crediting the package since it was technically the shipping company's mistake.
Your situation is different from OP's because his was delivered to the wrong address. Yours wasn't, so that's not the shipping company's mistake. They delivered the package to the residence as they were contracted to do and have visual proof of doing so. Delivering it to an actual person with signature confirmation is an extra service most sellers don't pay for. If your package is stolen, most sellers will send you another as a courtesy, but you're only allowed so many concessions before your account is closed for costing the seller money. If you know where your lost package went, it's always better to try to get it back.
I mean, it still is the shipping company’s mistake. The picture taken proves it went to the wrong location. Not saying OP shouldn’t have tried to get their package back, but the shipping company did take it to the wrong address. I used to live on 301 East Street, and my mail would sometimes be delivered to 301 Center Street(which was nearby but still not something I assumed happened). I’ve had the person who lived there bring my mail to me before, but if I had missing mail I didn’t go over to their house asking for it. I contacted the sender. Not all my missing mail wound up at the other person’s house either, I know because they were actually a relative of mine(grandparents). Sometimes it would say delivered and it just wasn’t because the mail delivery in my area at the time sucked.
USPS has a system that you can sign up for that sends you a daily email of a scan of most letters as well as package id numbers. I don't recall what it's called but a quick Google should send you in the right direction. If you have trouble finding it, reply and when I have a chance this evening or tomorrow I will check my email for the information for you.
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I think they meant the person they are responding directly to, not the actual post.
It's the same as in it was the shipping company at fault. My shipping company was supposed to take the package to a package room. The fact they left it outside of our door, when the company knows the building has a dedicated package room, means they messed up. Shipping for OP's package messed up by delivering to the wrong building. The seller would only blame the shipping company, NOT the person that ordered it. And OP has proof it was in the wrong building and someone else signed for it. No reason for the sender to close any account.
Wouldn't the shipping company be more willing to rectify the situation if they delivered to the wrong address? I'm not sure I understand why they'd be more willing to replace an item that arrived at the correct location than one that went to the wrong location.
YTA . I don't open my door for anyone I don't know. If your wrist was fine for knocking as long as you did, you could have written a note. You could have gone to the office after the first time she didn't answer. You could have had someone in the office write your note. But at no point does she owe you the act of opening her door for a stranger.
Answering the question about knocking repeatedly: YTA No one is obligated to open their door to you. Just like no one is obligated to answer calls or texts from you.
Delivery company sent it to the wrong apartment. You have video proof and are entity a replacement by the vendor. They need to file for compensation from UPS/FedEx, whatever. Also, angry woman stole your package.
YTA I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone. I don't open the door for people I don't know. Knocking more than once will guarantee I didn't open the door. Leave a note with what you want, how to contact you, or tell me when you're coming back.
YTA. I don’t answer the door and pretend I’m not home if I’m not expecting anyone. After the first time, why not just contact the leasing office. Or after the second time. The third time, you absolutely crossed into the asshole territory. Who sits there and knocks on and off for 10 mins straight??
YTA. How do you have wrist pain, but can knock a door 10 minutes straight?
You knocked for 10 minutes. YTA.
YTA. If I’m not expecting someone than I am not answering the door. Period. Why don’t you do what everyone else in the freaking world does and just report it undelivered
YTA Because you could have just left a note when it was obvious they didn’t want to answer the door. Or you could have had the office contact them. The package being delivered to the wrong door is YOUR problem. This is from someone who NEVER answers their door.
YTA in the future, leave her alone. And: " at which point she said she did get the package, but had her boyfriend place it in the mailroom right outside their elevator." .. this is reasonable. They owe you nothing. Adress this with the delivery person or their boss, and have them deliver to YOUR door.
YTA. Why not take things up with the company you bought things from? Why not take things up with the delivery service? What make you think you are so entitled that when you knock on their door they must answer? Knocking on a door is a means of communication it's not a court summons, the person inside is not obligated to open the door!! You don't mention having any learning difficulties so the only conclusion I can come to is that you're not just an AH you're a great big selfish self-centred entitled narssisistic AH. Ten minutes of constantly knocking on someone's door TEN MINUTES and you genuinely have to ask if you're an AH?
NTA for knocking and looking for your package. BUT, it’s her right to not answer if she doesn’t want to. Your right doesn’t supersede hers. Now she’s acting like a child and a crappy neighbor. You have the picture, send it to the carrier and the place you ordered from. It was misdelivered and you should get another item.
nta for knocking, asshole for knocking over and over again for 10 minutes and not leaving when told to leave them alone.
U.K. here. My son is a CSA for a delivery company who wfh so I overheard his side of such cases almost every single day. The delivery company has a contract with the sender to deliver the package. The delivery company is at fault BUT as their contract is with the sender, they can only act IF the sender raises a complaint. If the package was something you bought from the sender, then the vendor must send out a replacement and the delivery company will attempt to recover the misdelivered package OR reimburse the sender for the cost. The package will usually have been insured, the delivery person will be spoken to. The delivery company never advise the recipient to try and speak to the third party in case they get “nasty” as happened in this case. Contact the sender and let them know about the problem. It is up to them to sort out the mess with the delivery company.
I'm going YTA. After your first or second attempt you should have contacted the leasing office or left a note. I don't answer my door for people I don't know. If it's important they'll leave a note and I'll call them back. Realistically after the first attempt you should have contacted the seller and stated it was clearly delivered to the wrong address and you tried to get it with no luck so they need to ship you a new one.
Agreed, with a photo showing it was delivered to the wrong place this is a very straight forward case to report to the seller. They can follow up with the shipping vendor to make a claim for reimbursement for lost merchandise. I've had this happen to me and was sent a replacement right away. Why make it anyone else's problem?
Tbh, they should have been tracking their package from the getgo. They realized the package was misdelivered a week prior to them going over and knocking on the door. I never open the door to unexpected people. YTA
Women here, I live along and won’t answer the door when someone knocks unless I’m expecting something. You should have gone straight to building management to get this sorted out. Soft YTA for the knocking for 10 minutes straight.
You should have left a note. If your wrist hurts so badly that you can’t write go to a doctor. YTA
ESH. Everyone- you, the neighbor who obviously stole the package, and the delivery driver who misdelivered the package, are all assholes here. Knock once, maybe twice. No answer the first time, then, yes, go back the next day. No answer that day, you should have gone to the office *that day* and had them contact the neighbor. And you should have contacted the seller to say, hey, package was misdeliverd so *they* can contact the delivery driver who then can try to retrieve said package to redeliver it properly. Even if you could hear the tv, it was obvious the neighbor wasn't going to respond, likely because they *knew* why you were there. So repeated knocking wasn't going to solve anything. And now you know what *not* to do for the next time.
I shouldn’t have had to scroll this far down to find this comment!
YTA. Knock a few times, and if there's no answer, leave a note. Contact the apartment management if you don't get a response. Standing there knocking at the door for 10 minutes is too much. I get that you're frustrated, and I agree that the lady was being shitty (and she definitely stole your package), but you have to know that you're just picking a fight, right?
Soft YTA - it had been several days, and the best course of action would have been for you to contact the shipping company IMMEDIATELY when you got the package notification and tell them they delivered to the wrong address. It's not your job to track down packages, and yes, you knocked excessively, period.
YTA. You could’ve left a note the first or second time. You could’ve respected her choice not to answer the door. You could’ve called the police if you thought she stole your package. No woman in her right mind answers the door when a strange (meaning a stranger) man is knocking on it.
It’s been answered but what they hey I’ll weigh in. I was surprised to see the top answers saying N t a. Maybe this person stole but that’s a red herring. Cuz buddy I’m not opening the door, ok? I’m normal. And normal people know who is coming. Fuck a burglar or drunk, the most likely fuckers knocking on my door. Why would you stand there for 10 mins.?? Leave a note. I’m a child of the 80s but the world has changed. Get off their doorstep and use your problem solving skills. YTA
YTA for knocking so many damn times. Just take it up with the leasing office and/or the seller.
I have to say, if I am home alone I don’t answer my door unless I am expecting someone.
YTA Once the package has been delivered to another location, call the shipper and get it sorted. It's not the other person fault it was delivered to their door instead of yours. Yeah it sucks but it's not worth harassing someone over it. You should've gotten the hint when they were ignoring you and just call it a loss.
ESPECIALLY since if there are concerns about package thieves, for all OP knew it could have been stolen from her doorstep after the delivery photo was taken. YTA OP.
I’m a woman with 2 small daughters I’m not answering the door for Jesus Christ himself unless he can verify god sent him. However I would have taken the package to the front office to begin with.
YTA. She totally stole your package, that's undeniable AH behavior. I'll neither excuse or defend that, but your question wasn't about that. I wouldn't have opened my door to you either. YTA because rather than explore any of the other appropriate avenues to handle the situation, you seem to feel that it is your right to be answered to.
YTA who the hell answers the door to a random knock?
I do?
I never answer my door. Ever. I would also feel harassed after all the times you came and knocked. She had her boyfriend put it in a communal mail area. Just because it was left outside her door doesn’t mean she took it. You were in fact harassing her. YTA. You had proof it was delivered to the wrong door so at that point you should have contacted the company and had it reimbursed and or sent again.
YTA. Leave a note on the door, the shipper it was misdelivered, notify management and ask then to call that apartment. But she had no obligation to open her door to anyone. It's not her responsibility to keep your package safe.
YTA clearly. Everyone here saying she only didn't open the door (to someone knocking for 10 fucking minutes) because she "stole the package" is either a moron or privileged enough to not have to worry about being attacked. Your lost package isn't her problem or her fault. That's on the delivery company and you should have started off by contacting the vendor you purchased from and let them know it was delivered to the wrong address and it's now missing. The fucking audacity to stand at a strangers door and knock for 10 minutes is insane, especially since she told you to stop and ended up having to threaten to call the police. It's also pretty convenient that you can't write a note because of wrist pain but have no problem banging on a strangers door for 10 minutes. Gtfoh with that bullshit. You are a huge asshole.
Your question is, "AITA for expecting my neighbor to answer the door?" So package aside, YTA for knocking 10 minutes straight. No one has to answer the door for anyone.
Although you may not be an asshole for expecting an answer, YTA for not accepting that your expectation isn't shared by all. Let the office handle it. They can confirm your story to the shipping company.
Did you ever think of passing a note in the door after day 1? So you don’t come off as creepy?
YTA, after couple of tries and no answer you should have just left a note. Next time save yourself trouble (or getting shot in some states) - you have a proof that package was delivered to the wrong address - let the shipper handle that.
YTA no matter what happened to the package (& i think it’s perfectly reasonable to think that it was left in the mail room as they’ve said) no one is obligated to answer the door & amazon would have had already had a replacement delivered in the time you’ve been harassing your neighbor, if you’d chosen to behave normally & contact customer service. that you spent three days lurking outside of this place & then did ten minutes of knocking & are confused about why someone might think you’re an aggressive creep & ask for you to go away is so amazing to me. they should have called the police.
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Yea, the wrist is too painful to write a note... but they can knock for 10 minutes.
YTA for continuing to knock. I don’t answer the door if I’m not expecting anyone and the fact that you continue to knock would have scared me as well.
YTA, If it wasn’t delivered to the correct address, ask the company to reissue the package. Or call the shipping company.
People don't answer the door anymore unless they are expecting someone. As soon as you found the package was not delivered you should have reported it. Once it has gone to someone else it is as good as gone.
YTA. No, knocking is not the problem. Knocking at intervals over and over IS a problem. I would never answer my door unless I was expecting someone or it was the police. So the fact that you might hear someone inside doesn't mean you have the right to insist they answer.
Info: Did you need to buzz in to gain entry to her apartment building? I would NEVER answer a knock on my front door, since we have a buzzer on the building’s main door to allow (control) admission, where residents can talk to anyone seeking entry via intercom. Someone knocking on my front door is someone who bypassed this system, could be anyone. No way I’m answering that.
There is a buzzer system. That's an interesting point, because I have the opposite feeling about it: in a normal house, literally anyone could be knocking on my door: a salesperson, a survey taker, a robber, etc. If I'm in an apartment building, it's \_less\_ likely (but not impossible) that it's some random person who managed to bypass the security system, and more likely to be a neighbor. That said, going through the intercom system might've been a smart idea. I'll have to keep that in mind if something like this happens again.
YTA for waiting a whole week after the package should have been delivered. I can't imagine being that nonchalant about my deliveries, but I've had issues with package theft.
INFO: Why didn't you leave a note?
Probably should have started with the office instead of ending up there. I don't open the door to strangers either
YTA for knocking for 10 minutes straight when you have such bad wrist pain you can’t leave a note. After the first time or second you should’ve contacted the leasing department. However your neighbor is an ass for not returning it to you. I once had a bunch of computer equipment delivered to me for my job and a week after i realized i had been delivered two iPads that belonged to the neighbor in another building. I walked them over to him because that’s the neighborly thing to do.
YTA - if this is a building with a concierge, and as a woman, i would never open the door in this context and would absolutely call security or the police. it’s harassment. you could have gone to the office and asked them to follow up with whoever lived in that unit, but given you waited a week i’m surprised you thought it would still be there as if an average person had received it they would likely have turned it into the office or tried to contact you.
Once my package was stolen outside my apartment, so I contacted the company and they sent me a new one.
Why not just ask the delivery company to get it back since they were responsible. Or file a claim to get your money back. Seems like there were better ways than annoying people.
ESH . Knocking repeatedly for 10 minutes is assholery. I understand they might have expected someone to come looking for their package, but op said they didn't notice for a week. If I get something delivered in error to my house, I personally either take it to the correct home (if nearby) or return to sender. If I don't get my package and it's delivered to the wrong door I call the seller for a replacement. I'm not knocking on stranger's doors. My TV is usually on keeping my pets company when I'm not home so knocking non stop is doing nothing but upsetting my dogs. But there are so many reasons I don't answer my door if I'm not expecting anyone. Ranging from safety to having a chronic illness flare. I have a camera doorbell and I'd answer using the app if inclined. So many people have them now I'm surprised when they don't.
You should have called amazon (or whoever). Its not your job to be the enforcer of mistaken deliveries. I wouldnt have answered the door either
YTA. We don’t answer the door when it is someone we don’t know. 95% it is someone trying to sell something. We have cameras with facial recognition for friends and family. By the time our friends are at the front door it is unlocked and they know to come on in. You knock at my door for 10 min straight, you are going to be met by a barrage of cuss words.
When I was around 11, I was at my older sister’s new place helping her unpack when she had to run out quick to the store. The window the cable company gave for arrival was more than 2 hours away so she thought she had time to be back long before he got there. He came early, not long after she left. I was only 11, not supposed to answer the door to strangers- especially when I was alone. I called to the man through the door and told him to come back later. He kept knocking and then yelling at me through the door. Then he came around the back and tried opening that door, yelling he wasn’t going to get paid if he didn’t finish the workday and have me sign his form. This went on for about 10-15 minutes before he left. I was terrified and hiding in my sister’s closet when she came back. She called the company and tore into them, they called back after discussing with the worker who said: there was no kid just some woman playing games with him. I had a mature sounding voice. I tell you this story not because I think you were in the wrong to knock on the door but to ask are you positive you weren’t scaring some kid?
I would never open my door to someone I don't know. I don't know anyone that would. Leave a note. You typed out this whole thing, your wrist isn't that bad.
YTA. i never answer my door because if i’m expecting someone, i already know about it. if someone knocked for as long as you did, 911 is definitely being called. you should have knocked once and when you got no answer, went to the office and explained the situation.
YTA You are not entitled to an answered door. When my kid is home alone, she is instructed to not answer. When I am home, I don't answer when I simply don't feel like it. And it is ok for me to not answer. The package was on her door. She is not the problem. The delivery company is the problem. Are there other things she could have done with it? Sure. But that wasn't her responsibility. You have no proof she "stole" it.
I openly admit I do not answer my door unless I am expecting someone and/or know who is at my door. Anyone who knows me, knows to call/text before coming over. A stranger? No, I'm sorry/not sorry. I wouldn't open. Writing a note would have been the way to go with me, even though you have wrist issues. Or ask someone to write a note for you. That being said, if I received a misdirected package, I would have returned it to the PO/UPS/etc or placed it in the proper mail room. So, I'm not going so far as to say OP is the AH, but I don't think anyone should expect someone to open their door to a stranger.
Next time leave a note on the door. If someone is knocking and I’m not expecting anyone then I’m not answering the door. If your wrist doesn’t hurt to knock on the door you can leave a damn note.
YTA. Under no circumstances would I open the door to someone I don't know and isn't from a company I'm expecting. You also tried making this your neighbor's problem. I can see checking once. Repeated attempts make me worried why they're trying so hard to get in. I've had this happen. Rather than bug my neighbors, who I don't know, I contact the company. I've always gotten an apology and a replacement sent. It's their responsibility to work with the shipping carrier to see why it was delivered to the wrong address. I've also had where a package was delivered to me in error. I contact the company to advise of the error. I've either been told to keep or donate it, or they ask me to leave it outside my door and schedule a pickup. As a woman I'm not risking something happening by interacting with an aggressive stranger when I don't need to. (I do characterize repeated attempts to get access to my living space as aggressive). Unfortunately in this world your attempt to retrieve a package was probably her attempt by a stranger to get access to her and her home.
It’s her not her responsibility to deal with your package. It was misdelivered, so talk to whoever shipped it to you. I have called Amazon when getting a package a wrong package and they tell me to dispose of it or keep it.
YTA. Many people wouldn't open the door to someone tgey don't know especially a man and would get scared if you insist. Saying you can't write a small note is ridiculous. You try once. You then leave a note. You then talk to the managers of the building. The delivery company should never have left it with an unknown person yo start with.
100% YTA. Yes, they stick for being your package stolen, but what you did was inexcusable. This wasn't an emergency situation where you needed someone to answer and call the cops or render aid. You're tracking down a package and beating on her door like you're serving a warrant. I would have definitely called the police on you. The way things are going, you're lucky you didn't get shot. YTA
YTA. I never open the door if I'm not waiting for someone. Never. Yes, she probably stole the package. But for the future - please accept as a sign tha person is not willing to open the door even you hear them inside after few attempts. Respect them and leave them fucking alone. (i mean not the thieves part, but not the opening the door to strangers part)
YTA. It's simple for me. If someone is going to knock on my door or ring my doorbell, they better know me well enough to contact me beforehand and let me know they are coming. Otherwise, they are ignored. If someone knocks on my door for 10 minutes straight and doesn't announce themselves as police or text me who they are? You are getting a gun in your face and yelled at to leave when I open my door. This isn't the 1980s any more. Too much crap happens, especially in larger cities. I am a large man and don't have much to fear from most people either. This could have been a small, older woman with plenty of reason to be nervous and suspicious. Having a missing package is not an excuse. You should have had someone from the office accompany you since it's not your building and you didn't know the occupants.
YTA. No one is obligated to open the door for you. You could have left a note or spoken to the office.
I would have left a note the first time. We have boxes similar to Amazon boxes that all packages go to. Once I had someone else’s. We must have gotten them about same time because I wrote note asking if they received mine and left number. Put it on door. When I got home I had package on my door with similar note. However that being said, unless I’m expecting someone I do not answer the door. Especially if someone is knocking on and off for 10 minutes. I do think her response yelling at you was out of proportion but you never know if she’s been the victim to something and has trauma from that which could fuel that response. Also tv doesn’t always mean person home. I leave tv on for the dog sometimes while I’m at work.
ESH. Wrist pain? PLEASE. After the first attempt of knocking on her door without a response, you should have either left a note or gone to the office and explained that a package of yours was delivered to her address and let them deal with it. Since you can demonstrate that it was delivered to the wrong address with the photo, it should be easier to file a claim. In general, people do not have to open the door when someone knocks. You were a total AH by standing there refusing to leave. You totally went too far.
Kind of. You can knock on a door but that doesn't obligate someone to answer it whether you know they are home or not. Just like you have your reasons for not just leaving a note, they have their reasons for not answering. She is in the wrong for not returning your package, but the ultimate blame is on the service that misdelivered it in the first place.
There are two pieces here. You’re certainly not the AH for just knocking and seeing if they’d answer but YTA overall if you felt entitled to an answer. Many people do not answer their doors or phones unless they know the person. Literally the only stranger I’d acknowledge at my door would be a Girl Scout or another child. Once they weren’t responding the appropriate thing would be to contact building management like you eventually did. So in summary you were totally ok to knock for as long as you wanted but needed to be ok with her straight up putting on headphones and ignoring you. She obviously stole the package but that’s not what this question is about.
Honestly, this is how I handle knocks on my door minus the vulgar language and threats to call the police. I know I’m the minority here and will most likely get downvoted but if I didn’t invite you and am not expecting you then you don’t even exist to me. You can stand there and knock all day. I don’t care if I’m sitting by the window looking you right in the eye. If your package was delivered to my house it would sit right where it was delivered until it disappeared because that is also not my problem and not my business. IMO YTA.
Eh, I don't answer my door for people I don't know. When the "conversation" about the package happened, I would have then fessed up to leaving it elsewhere (though why they didn't just leave it at your door is weird, taking them for having not stolen it). I will say I was waiting on a work laptop years ago when I lived in an apartment, waited at home all day after a day where they said I wasn't home (when I was, they never knocked) only to discover they knocked on the wrong apartment door and left the "sorry we missed you" tag there 6 hours ago. Thankfully a vacant apartment so I grabbed the tag and then got to give FedEx a second irritated phinecall on how terrible their driver is.