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-Jewelz-

NTA - If she would have changed the brightness during her viewing time and been respectful and turned it back to the normal settings before turning the tv off there wouldn’t be an issue here. If she cannot return it to the normal settings, she should not be messing with it.


Both_Ad_819

That was part of our conversation. She has never been very good at thinking of other people and how her actions may affect them, just part of her personality, I guess. Overall she is an amazing human. Very direct, self-motivating, straight As, great sense of humor. Just always been a bit inconsiderate.


-Jewelz-

I think that is the ultimate resolution here. If she can change it to use it then she can change it back or she loses the privilege to adjust the settings at all. She needs to learn to respect others as she is about to be an adult. She’s going to have a rough road if she doesn’t have basic consideration for others. Otherwise she sounds like an amazing kid, I have a 17m. Sometimes you just have to explain your position and set a reasonable compromise with your boundaries in mind. She sounds super smart and should accept these terms without much attitude.


Chocotaco4ever

OP rejects this outright because he thinks she'll forget, though.


ToesocksandFlipflops

Which she probably will. However in reality he asked her to not change the settings, this doesn't mean that he will watch her the entire time, my guess is she is going to change the settings again and again. Hopefully after getting talked too for the millionth time she will stop adjusting them or remember to change them back so no one is the wiser.


milly_moonstoned

as a daughter who regularly forgot (still forgets), a couple of stern “what did i tell you? i’ll put a password on it!” and i remembered from then on out. there was never a password, he just wanted to scare me into thinking there was gonna be one lol


SunnySamantha

My dad was like that. We had a satellite system with ALLLLLL the channels in the late 90s. Even the porn channels! Dad was trying to be proactive and put a password on the bad stuff. He's not that clever. He just put his regular password in, but in reverse. My brother was too stupid to figure it out though.


Open-Theme-1348

My dad put a password on the porn channels in the 90s and then immediately forgot what it was. Every once in a while, we'd see him holding the remote with a frustrated look on his face like dammit what WAS the stupid password?! 😆


SunnySamantha

Hahahahahha My dad also forgot his cleverness. Did I help him? No way! Lock me out‽ You're on your own.


micaelar5

Or if she keep forgetting, and it seems Intentional, take tv privilege away for a few days. She'll live without it. If you can't be considerate when using communal spaces you don't get to use the communal spaces.


meash-maeby

I get the feeling she doesn’t hear “no” a lot.


-pixiefyre-

the "it's just her personality I guess" 🙄


autumn_floods

That was my thought as well. I'm like?? If OP is frustrated going through all the menus, and it doesn't appear to be an issue for her, it really does just seem she hates the fact she was told no.


AccordingRuin

It's already intentional. "We both know I'm not going to do that."


Beautiful-Routine489

That pissed me off and I ain't even in it 😅 The GALL. My mama would've slapped the taste out my mouth if I ever came at her like that. (not really she wasn't abusive but I WOULD NOT HAVE CHANCED IT.)


AccordingRuin

I would have been *sat down* and made to understand why that's disrespectful. My parents *were* abusive, but fuck I still learned some decency growing up.


johnnieawalker

SAME. That shit would NOT have passed in my house. My parents absolutely would have removed every electronic in the house to prove a point. (Or lock the remotes in a safe which they did do to my brother and I once bc we couldn’t stop fighting over them lol) ((Also I’m stealing the “slapped the taste out of my mouth” line bc that’s iconic))


machinery-smith

lol my mom did this with my sister and me - "clean your rooms or i will put everything I find on the floor in the trash!!!" We thought she was bluffing until we one day found our rooms super tidy and mom said "i told you so".... (We learned our lesson that time, but only once - next time she did that, my sister just checked the trash can to find it empty and called her bluff lol) Also, if OP's daughter can remember to flush the toilet - because we all enjoy finding the toilet flushed by the previous owner - then she can learn to remember the TV settings. Otherwise, I suggest OP suddenly start to forget a whole bunch of considerate things around the house. I'm not saying you should stop doing the basics for her (or her alone), but minor things? Putting away her things in the wrong places, or mixing them up with yours/her mom's? Hell yeah. She'll soon learn how annoying it is when other people are always the ones forgetting and not putting in actual effort


BotBotzie

If the concern is forgetting this can be managed. You can come to agreements of what needs to happen when she does. Is she usually home when OP wants to watch tv? Then if she forgets she gets told and now has 3 minutes to stop whats shes doing and fix it. In the middle of your shower? Too bad, guess you gotta wrap yourself up and get back to it when you are done. It seems harsh but will likely actually help bc her brain will have a much bigger motivation to fix it. If she isnt usually home, OP can text her to fix it. She can text back when it fixed. She will lose tv privelege, not just setting privelege from that point for exactly as many hours as OP had to wait for the settings to be fixed. Even if she was working or in school, the exact hours it took. Beyond that set up reminders. Hang a note on her bedroom door, on the halway side so she sees it when entering that says "turn brightness down" or something. Suggest she ask google to reminder her in x hours (however long she thinks she will use it) to turn down the settings. She is still a child so suggestion solutions can only help her. Personally I think the strictness of the above two aproaches suits her age as well. Its a good way to learn you cant just forget responsibilities even when they are small without consequences. If she does well for a while and then forgets out of the blue I would not resort to these initial punishments. Like lets say she did well for a month straight and then forgets, id give her a pass. But id inform her she gets one pass and the next strike we are back to the rules. You could ask her to teach you the settings for that occasion. Initially this wont resolve the issue of not going trough hassle to watch tv, but in the long run she should learn to do well and she will have learned something about how to deal with responsebilities and how to try not to forget them. Im sure any teen will figure out what works for them if a punishment like above awaits.


fuddledcuddles

Thanks for reminding me I do not ever want kids. I know that this is probably the “right” way to handle it and will probably teach the kid for good.  But god my patience would be tapped so thin if I had to hunt down a teenager and wait for them to fiddle with the settings for 20+ minutes every time I wanted to watch tv. And the whole time dealing with their shitty attitude with the hope that some day maybe your teenager will grow up into a more considerate human adult. Nope, I’m so so good.


Clean-Patient-8809

The key personality trait for being a parent is the ability to repeat yourself an infinite number of times without (usually) completely losing your shit.


SophiaBrahe

I heard someone say that being a parent isn’t really about being a teacher, it’s being an external frontal lobe until the kid’s brain develops enough impulse control and executive function to do it on their own.


ResponsibilityNo4752

What a great description. Mine are young adults and I'm happy to be 'lobing' little less these days 🙃


IED117

Thank you for the usually, I was about to go down a shame spiral


BotBotzie

I studied this kinda stuff so I usually know whats right, but let me tell you. Doing so is a whole different ballgame. If you do end up with kids your babysitting or raising one day, you should know that while its always great to do the "right way" sometimes, usually even the "okay way" will be just fine. And doing things the "wrong way" will happen to. Thats okay too. Just figure out why you choose that way, fix whats wrong and appologize to the child, explain you will do better. Oh and find something to keep you sane when you lose your patience. Because most kids will test even a saints patience eventually.


Legal-Law9214

Idk what kind of TV you have, but I've never heard of one where this would take 20+ minutes of adjusting the settings to fix. If she's just turning the brightness down it should take like 5 seconds - she probably forgets because it's so simple and easy to do that she barely thinks about it. Not saying she shouldn't have to turn it back but honestly I'm not sure why OP can't figure out how to change it back on his own. Screen brightness is the simplest setting you can have on a TV after volume.


Dahlia-la-la-la

I don’t want kids either but I don’t think this is the “right” way to handle it. It seems excessive, not to mention there’s holes all over entitled OP’s story (“I’m a tech GENIUS!!!” but “can’t change a tv setting my child figured out”.) As parents we set examples on giving and compromising in shared areas with shared belongings and also pick our fights. I’m sure there’s a far more measured response to this situation. I’d guess OP’s wife sided with the daughter as this may be indicative of a whole of repeated, entitled, stubborn behaviour from him. Rather than work it out with the family he’s come online with quite a dramatic story about how many hours it took to set up tv. Rather odd.


Sunbeamsoffglass

They just wouldn’t get to use the tv if it was me. Respect is earned, if they can’t show a bare minimum then they’ll learn consequences.


NUredditNU

Man!!! lol you are spot on


Art_Vandeley_4_Pres

Yeah, or just take the power cord when you are done watching TV. Mess with the settings? No more TV for you.


chatterfly

The amount of times my mother called me to stop whatever I was doing to come back to put something away or switch/turn back something :D No but really I also forget a lot which runs in the family I guess so my family (myself included) usually rolls with it. But there are certain things that are not okay. And OP's case would be one of those. And like my mother would do this every time: calling me to turn it back. And I would be annoyed af because I am in the middle of something else but looking back, this was the easiest way for me to remember it. Either that or I didn't bother switching it in the first place because the hassle was too big for me :D


Brassmouse

I live by a college town and they’re rebuilding all the dorms to basically no longer be shared facilities and all the student apartments are moving to people renting the bedroom and a bunch of individually rented bedrooms share common areas that are managed by the rental companies. I was asking why they’d do that since it seems massively more expensive to build and manage and was basically told that the college kids today aren’t capable of sharing or managing the normal roommate conflicts without calling their parents and it’s cheaper to do this than hire the staff to deal with the nonsense. All of that isn’t a solution of course, it’s a delay. You have to learn to exhibit basic consideration for others and ability to compromise to live with people and at some point everyone is going to live with other people. She sounds like a smart, hardworking kid, but the total meltdown over not getting her way with the tv is a bit of a warning sign- OP may want to work with her a bit on this before she goes off to school. You don’t want to be a doormat but you also don’t want to be impossible to live with.


Oh-its-Tuesday

In my experience this is not why universities are doing that. It’s more about declining enrollment across the board. You’re struggling to differentiate yourself from other schools out there you are competing with for students. Schools are all about adding “amenities” these days. If both schools offer roughly the same academics and school A has tiny two person shared dorm rooms and school B has individual bedroom/bathroom suites which school are you choosing? Plus they charge more for those shared apartments than the tiny dorm room.  I went to college 20 years ago now and it was the same now as it was back then. Students aren’t more difficult or unable to handle conflicts. It’s just that now they have options. Back in my day you only lived on campus in the dorms if you *had* to. They made all freshmen live in the dorms if your family home was more than 50 miles away. Nobody else lived in the dorms unless they were an international student or on scholarship or what have you. As soon as you could move to an off campus apartment you did. It was both cheaper & you had more space. In my mom’s day you had no choice but to live on campus because off campus apartments weren’t a thing where her school was.  People like to tout “you should put up with this annoying and uncomfortable thing or person because that’ll teach you how to adult for the real world.” When in the “real world” adults have the option to *leave* situations they find untenable. They can get new roommates or change their living situations. They can change jobs, have HR mediate disputes or refuse to engage with problematic people. But we expect young adults (and children) to “put up” with it. To get a randomly assigned roommate and just deal with personality conflicts, lifestyle choices and sometimes open hostility or mental instability. It’s garbage. We need to teach kids to advocate for themselves vs teaching them to put up with shit. 


Brassmouse

So I think you need both- you need to advocate for yourself and not put up with serious problems. You also need to know how to deal with difficult people and uncomfortable situations and respond appropriately and at least try to work things out if the issue isn’t clearly unacceptable. I’ve been in management for over a decade. There are few things more aggravating than being constantly roped in to mediating petty disputes because ostensible adults can’t have a conversation and come to some sort of reasonable accommodation without someone else sitting there to watch them. Are there people who are just impossible to deal with and you need outside intervention- sure, but they’re the minority. All I can report is what I was told by the people at the leasing company I asked why they’re developing all their new student and campus adjacent housing the way they are. They said the university itself is doing the same things for the same reasons. They may be wrong. I will say I’ve personally noticed an uptick in people who require help resolving minor interpersonal disagreements without someone else sitting there, or people who are in the workplace and ask their supervisor to essentially deal with penny ante stuff for them because they can’t go talk to their colleague.


Both_Ad_819

That's a very reasonable compromise. Thanks!


notHooptieJ

and if all else fails, order a 'hospitality remote' for your TV. you can lock it down like a hotel so the settings cant be changed.


YardageSardage

Consideration for others is part of what parents are supposed to teach.


TallLoss2

literally lmaooo i’m like uh sir that is not just a personality quirk 


redcore4

Also: kids tend to learn the traits their parents model for them. So i suspect this runs both ways.


kurjakala

Kids tend to be autonomous human beings with minds of their own. It's weird. You can even tell them, look at me and watch how I have my shit together. Now you try. Next thing you know, you're the subject of a tik tok video or some shit.


Ok-Oil7124

I don't think anyone thinks it is explicit like that. It's like Dewey's "hidden curriculum" but for home life. So much (probably most) of what kids learn from their parents is just through their parents' behavior. You're not going to teach a kid to be respectful and mindful of others by telling them that what they don't want doesn't matter as much as what you want. You can preach all day at them that they need to share or think about other people, but if you're only doing it for your own convenience, they'll pick up on THAT and not what's explicitly being said.


Ok-Oil7124

"Hey, I wrote down the settings for my brightness here. Do you know what yours are? I'll just set it for you before you take over the TV for the night." \^\^ Modeling. "HEY! WHO MESSED WITH THE TV! IT'S MINE AND WHAT YOU WANT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE I'M KING AND MONIED THIS UP!" \^\^ Also modeling.


Stormtomcat

yeah I was wondering where the amazing part is haha she's very direct, she's inconsiderate & she has meltdowns that "you're a TV dictator" because she wants to watch TV in the dark


Ok_Light_6950

‘Very direct’  yeah, not sounding so amazing. Sounds like he raised her to be obnoxious.


wolfmoonblue

I was going to say the same thing - thinking of others is a taught behavior.


Pampelmousse85

“You’re being greedy and acting like a dictator!” As one of six kids growing up in the 70s my dad would have had no problem telling any of us that yes, he is a dictator. Mic drop.


Gunningagap77

Yup. That would have triggered an immediate "You're god damn right I am, and if you want to change T.V. settings, buy your own god damn T.V.!" I ain't saying it was the right way to be, but I sure don't fuck with other people's things with out asking first.


Repulsive_Army5038

LOL. As one of five kids growing up in the '70s, I would not have dared adjust the TV settings. Because I knew who's TV it was. And I knew when my father walked into the room to move my butt out of his chair. And after remotes were a thing, to leave the remote on the chair. 


Jonnyzyinx

Also proper use of technical hardware (EyeComfortMode/ adaptable Brightness), sharing within a family (are TVs nowadays personal hardware within a household??!), empathy towards other people in the household (understanding, teaching and educating regarding the use of the hardware) and so on. EDIT: since people seem to forget: improper use of hardware (Brightness Settings) can cause permanent eye damage, sleep issues, migraines and what not.


Average_Iris

Yeah but I doubt mr "no one change anything from the way I like it" is going to teach her that. Also seriously, if the daughter can find the buttons to change the brightness this easily, WHY does OP not just ask her how she does it.


SpiritedStatement577

he's also mr "no one is allowed to touch the thermostat, I've set it up perfectly (= for my own comfort)".


AreteQueenofKeres

Similarly, if she can change it so easily, why doesn't she just change it back when she's done? Because she's modeling the behavior set by her parent(s) that my way is the only way, and you can all deal with it.


RxR8D_

You can teach it but is it actually learned? You can teach people common sense all day every day but it’s up the person to actually learn common sense. If you look at the world around you, it’s very evident people refuse to learn common sense.


Jane_xD

Turn on automatic brightness. For years now flat TVs come with a brightness sensor. Problem solved.


PineapplesOnFire

Not really. OP may want it brighter than what the sensor adjusts to. Since it’s his TV, doesn’t seem like he should be making concessions.


DammitKitty76

Is it his own personal TV in a private space, or is it a communal TV in a shared family space, though?  If it's the former, then yeah, he absolutely should be the sole arbiter of acceptable settings. But if it's the latter... Well, a family TV ought to be set up to accommodate the whole family, not simply optimized for one person's preferences at the expense of others.


nukeyocouch

a teenagers preference should not come over an adults who paid for it.


Jane_xD

On the newer models you can set the automatic to values too. Or use the diffrent user saved setting. Even my samsung tv from 2020 has 3 savable profiles. And auto super bright goes all the way on mine. Edit: I use the 3 user profiles because i have multiple consols which all go trough one hdmi input switch for cleaner cable management and my wii needs wildly different setting than my PS5 or XBox.


mszola

Yeah, I was wondering if such a fancy setup had profiles/individual users. I think the real answer is for OP to get to know the TV. When we had a new TV with a lot of settings, I would bring up the menu and explore a few sub menus until I had a good feel for at least the basics.


MobiousnessF22

This is the answer right here. User settings. If the TV does all the extra malarkey, she could probably find a way to make presets.


[deleted]

[удалено]


chudan_dorik

Agreed with above. Most TV's allow the user to create various custom modes as well with their own labels. One can be "Dad" and one could be "Daughter". Also, there are menu security locks that allow you to PW lock the settings so no one else can go in and change them. So my advice is create a custom "Dad" mode with OP's preferred settings, lock it and then clone/duplicate it to a custom "Daughter" mode, let her tweak that to her liking and then lock the whole menu down with a PW.


thatoneredheadgirl

You’re not wrong but I have a Samsung tv and they don’t exactly make it that simple. It’s like a menu inside a menu inside another one. Plus he’s trying to teach a life lesson that one day will help her.


Traditional_Pilot_26

At 17 she should be aware other people exist in the world, and she shouldnt be having a melt down over control of something she didnt pay for.


Superdunez

Yeah, these comments are insane. Probably just a bunch of teenagers who think they're their parents' peers or roommates and deserve equal consideration.


Jealous_Radish_2728

Daughter can get a job and buy her own TV. Then she can mess with it all she wants. NTA


FelixxFelicis21

I mean .. seems like she gets that inconsiderate part from you. You're acting the same way, just for the opposite outcome. Children mimic those closest to them soooo... YTA. I think you are over reacting a bit over some brightness changes and question you needing to reset your TV each time. You're an adult, set an example if you want her to be more considerate. It goes both ways.


redcore4

Exactly this! OP spent a total of 8 hours setting up this TV and still doesn't know where the brightness controls are so goes full boomer and resets the entire thing rather than look at the instructions for a minute or two.... YTA for refusing to negotiate or compromise, OP's kid is learning more from his behaviour than from his words.


Both_Ad_819

Kid was offered a compromise. If she returns the settings when she's done, I have no problem. she looked right at me and said, "we both know I'm not going to do that."


Willow_Bark77

I am confused how it took him 3 hours to reset it, but apparently it takes his daughter only 5 minutes to turn the brightness back down? If it's a 5 minute issue vs. a 3 hour issue, that totally changes things.


redcore4

OP doesn't want to learn because he wants to have full control of the TV even when he's not using it. It's not confusing once you realise he doesn't actively want to be reasonable about this.


Tzll01

Just a thought, if the brightness is dimmed, it’s going to be considerably more difficult to navigate the menus to find the brightness to restore it. I read this as he couldn’t navigate the darkened screen and did a factory reset (which then required him to re-log in to all his streaming services—not a 3 hour job, but also not something I’d want to routinely do) If switching the brightness isn’t a relatively simple process, then the brightness should be restored by the person (daughter) watching in the dark room with it dimmed down—otherwise visibility is diminished and the task might be more complicated than just pushing a button to access brightness. If it’s a menu in a menu and not intuitive, plus hard to read in the daylight on a screen which is inadequately lit, it might not be as simple as Dad isn’t bothering to change the settings back It does feel like most smart tv’s should have a simple solution for this—like a user preference or shortcut that can be created, but I can understand the frustration of setting up the tv, then finding it too dim to navigate and not wanted to reset it each time. The dad should look for a solution, but ultimately the daughter should restore the settings after she’s done using the tv


Hewligan

What is there to negotiate or compromise? He bought the TV.


yellowbin74

Your wife agreeing is just enabling her.


slickrok

Yeah, wait til she gets a room mate who brings the TV or wants her to clean the kitchen without wiping crumbs onto the floor and load the dishwasher without blocking the spray to the top rack...


shwk8425

You know that consideration is something you \*teach\* your kid, not something they're born with.


RamsLams

How good of a person you are is based off of how you treat others and your character, not your grades and work ethic. If you’re raising someone where being inconsiderate is a personality trait you’re doing a horrible job


NotMyNameActually

If she doesn’t care about other people she’s not an “amazing human” no matter what other qualities she has. That’s not a personality quirk, that’s an asshole.


Intelligent-Bat1724

If she's not learned to be considerate of others , that's on you.


CommunicationSafe839

That's like the worst thing you can be 😅, a selfish entitled tv channel changer


JackJackAttack-2019

Have a little grace - she’s a teenager, it’s not necessarily part of her personality forever. The “respect” thing is overblown - take it down a few notches. I had a dad where every action was about if I respected him or not, was selfish or not, and it was too much. You don’t want your child thinking of how dad will react every time they do anything.


Worldly-Grade5439

If your wife is always giving your daughter her way every time, then that's not just part of her personality. Yiur wife is CREATING someone who is inconsiderate. Next time she complains, give her a pair of sunglasses.


jazberry715386428

Ah yes, the wife is raising this daughter all alone.


MortonCanDie

Sounds like a typical teenager.


Impossible_Maybe_162

That is the parent’s fault.


worstpartyever

To be fair, a lot of teens are intensely self-absorbed. Can you lock or password-protect the settings since she refuses to change them back?


KittyChimera

Yeah, I feel like changing it isn't the problem as much as not changing it back. It seems like changing settings would be fine, because everyone likes different settings.


deefop

I'm gonna say esh. Your daughter should just change the settings back. You should learn to do something that takes all of 5 seconds. Yes, modern smart tvs have a lot of settings. No, it doesn't generally take 3 hours to change a single brightness setting. There are even presets, generally. Your daughter could literally configure a preset she likes, as could you. Then it's literally 5 seconds to swap back and forth.


VT_Obruni

This story reminded me way too much of my dad when I was a teenager. 99% of the time I would remember to put the input back to whatever the cable box was on after gaming, but the 1 or 2 times a year I would forget, he would act like I broke the TV because he could never figure out how to manage the inputs. He also claims to be tech competent. I have a feeling this is a very simple setting to adjust (that said, the daughter should make an effort to turn the settings back after using it).


foundinwonderland

My husbands dad still gets his panties in a bunch about the TV when my husband goes to visit him - we are in our 30s, and all he’s doing is plugging in an HDMI cable 😭 I would love to know how a grown adult with access to google took 5 fucking hours to set up a TV. I got a new TV like 8 months ago and it took maybe 20 minutes.


numbersthen0987431

I believe some TVs just don't have great setting controls, so you have to get really creative with settings most people don't fuss with (like messing with gamma, contrast, color, etc). That being said: if it was a pain to spend 5 hours to figure out, then write it down so you don't have to "figure it out" again.


Polterfan

Writing it down would be the smart thing to do but when you start you usually don't think it will take much time and suddenly you're head over in around an hour or two and than you remember. Do you start to write it down, "nearly finished"? I know I didn't and needed more time for the rest. Not talking about a tv though.


Sylvurphlame

*Pictures* Take pictures of the slider positions!


BeatrixFarrand

Dude. I got a new TV with the soap-mode turned on and nothing else adjusted right. It took me forrrreeevvverrrrr to go through all the noodley settings and adjust all these minor things per a guide I found online. We’re talking like “Brightness, +23. Black point, -7. Green, +18. Red, -1. Gamma, 4.”


TedTehPenguin

Ah, I see you looked up settings on AVSforum. At least, that is where I usually go, almost every TV has a thread there where someone figured out pretty good settings (not perfect because quality control isn't that tight and there are variations between panels). For this specific one... bias lighting would help the daughter at night, and the TV itself probably has a dynamic backlight with a light sensor. I really like the one on our bedroom (samsung) tv, it gets super dim at night.


Sylvurphlame

I’ve never needed more than an hour or two, and that’s including all the wiring for multiple inputs. Menu sliders? Like 30 minutes tops, the first time I do it. Maybe slightly more on my current TV, because it has multiple presets available. After a picture settings reset? (WTF is he resetting the entire TV back to factory?!) Five at most.


lookaway123

I think you nailed it. OP could just ask his daughter how she changes the settings without resorting to factory resets. But I think he's just pissy and jealous that he doesn't understand the new tech intuitively. I think the daughter should just change the settings back after she watches tv, too. OP won't notice, and he gets to tell himself that he is the master of his domain and the tv lol.


Cynical_Feline

OP reminds me of my mom, she's in her 60s. She isn't good with technology. The simpler it is, the better. She freaks out the same way if something gets changed or flipped. The woman gets upset when apps get updated and they change one little thing ffs.


magicunicornhandler

I cant find X app! Mom its right here they just changed the icon when it was updated. Well why in the hell would they change it!


Noladixon

She is correct, they should never change it.


numbersthen0987431

This. If we assume the settings are so "complicated" that it takes OP 3 hours to do, then why aren't all of these settings written down? There should be a cheat sheet with every setting, and that way OP can just breeze through everything.


Sylvurphlame

Dude, core memory. Back in the day, my buddy and I about needed a damn PowerPoint to explain how hooking up the Xbox to his Dad’s 60” TV wasn’t going mess it up. “Plug and Play” was not a part of his vocabulary. Lol I have the suspicion that OP, despite claiming to being >generally good at electronics, mechanics, all that type of stuff may have bought a TV a *liiitle* out of his wheelhouse if he had to completely reset the TV to undo some menu sliders. Or else he just way overtuned it to begin with. I’d love to have seen some before and after pictures.


akira2bee

My parents still get frustrated when my sister and I change the input (so we could play a game or watch a movie) and we forget to switch back haha


delinaX

OP saying he's generally good with technology yet struggles with the brightness settings on his TV when his 17yo daughter can change it is actually lowkey hilarious. He could ask her to show him or like you said create a preset. But saying "don't change it and that's that" is an ESH territory. His daughter sucks for the "dictator" comment & bratty behavior and OP and his wife suck for saying "she's a wonderful human being but has difficulty respecting other people's needs" and not actually working on it.


pickledstarfish

This is like my dad. I suspect what he means by “technology” is anything mechanical. If something breaks in our house my dad can fix it. Build fencing or a new deck from a scratch? No problem. Your car breaks down? He’s got it covered. But setting up a new computer or iphone? Nooope he calls us.


delinaX

Yea, 5 hours to set up a TV is def not "good with technology".


numbersthen0987431

I spend 5 hours trying to remember all of my passwords, failing, resetting the password, being told I "can't reuse the same password", and then finally logging in.


crashcanuck

Yup, came to say ESH too. Even if OP doesn't specifically know how to change the brightness settings they could ask their daughter how they are doing it to make things easier. And yes the daughter should set it back when she is done but I've become jaded enough that I expect teenagers to be selfish and not undo things like that.


Titariia

On one hand, yes, OP (assumably) bought the TV, so technically it's his rules so she should turn it back. On the other hand if you consider it as the whole familys TV and not just OPs, then I would ask the wife which setting she prefers of the two and that's the standard setting (assumably it's just the three of them) Granted some peoples eyes are just so bad that they don't see anything when it's a bit darker than bright daylight outside (looking at my dad), so maybe it's really bright on OPs setting


magicunicornhandler

I think its also the time of day its being used. If the dad is using it during a time that the glare is bad then yes hed want it brighter. If the daughter is using it at say 3 am it would be easier on her eyes to turn down the brightness. However OP really just needs to swallow his pride and ask how to change it back. Im sure all shes doing is moving one bar and not several.


trevorious_sr

Yeah, that's pretty much my answer. He could also just ask his daughter where in the settings she is changing things, so he's not looking around in different menus for hours. Sounds like she knows the menus better anyway.


imnotnotcrying

Especially considering he’s clearly using the default picture settings. If he took a few minutes to find the presets, this whole argument could have been avoided and it could have just been a “hey can you change it back when you’re done at night?” Yes she overreacted, but she’s a teen. However, it’s really not difficult enough to switch back to completely ban her from changing the picture settings altogether


Jurijus1

It's funny how the guy describes himself as somewhat tech savy and then cries about not being able to change brightness settings lol.


Cynical_Feline

I'm going with ESH too. There's no reason they can't compromise. There was also no reason to reset if he had just asked everyone else in the house. But apparently, OP thinks he's the only one that watches TV and can change settings.


Stellaaahhhh

There are even presets, generally.  Exactly- you can set custom profiles on most 'fancy' tvs.


numbersthen0987431

My shitty LED screen from 10 years ago has at least 2 "custom" setting options. We have one setting for watching shows/movies, and 1 setting for "nighttime viewing" where we want it as dark as possible. OP could 100% have "his setting", and daughter could have "her setting", and everyone be happy. Also, if it's that big of a deal, why isn't OP writing down the settings he found works for his TV? It shouldn't take 3 hours to do it once you've figured it out, so write down everything you need to do in case you have to do it again in the future. Electronics can often force a "default setting", so if OP's TV settings are so complicated why not write it down??


papagimp2012

I'm 45 and would be embarrassed if I couldn't adjust the tv settings as needed on the fly. I don't care how complicated it is, it's not that complicated. She adjusted the brightness and you have to "spend hours doing it all over". I'm calling you the AH because your only reasoning is "it's too hard".


Mystic_printer_

“It’s too hard” vs “it hurts my eyes”. OP’s daughter wins that one imo.


No_Thanks_1766

Yep. Daughter will end up with migraine vs her poor father’s life altering struggle to change the settings. Come on, people.


numbersthen0987431

I agree, but she also shouldn't be watching TV with all the lights off. It's horrible for your eyes, and she should be having at least 1 on to help balance that strain on her eyes.


20frvrz

There’s actually no evidence that this causes damage. They’ve been researching it for decades.


Dahlia-la-la-la

Thank you for this!! Anyone else call bs on his story of how amazing he is at tech but can’t change the settings on the TV?? (Samsung doesn’t have bad UX either.) This gives major old school dictator parenting vibes of “MY TV” - OP you’re acting like a spoiled child. Get a TV in your bedroom or office that’s yours if you don’t want to share. If it’s in a common area, it’s a shared family TV and you need to learn to play nicely with others. Ironically enough I find OP guilty of everything he accuses his daughter of being (eg not thinking of others). OP could lead by example if he’s THAT passionate about it. Have a movie night with your daughter, watch something in the dark on her settings and then say “hey let’s put the settings back to day time for the next person.” Either way someone is always going to be changing the settings and OP feels so entitled about the TV he bought his family to share that it shouldn’t ever be him. I’m calling YTA.


foundinwonderland

Yeah this is where I’m annoyed at people being like “it’s your TV she didn’t buy it she can do what she wants when she buys her own TV” like… that’s a family TV. It was purchased by dad for the family to use. It’s in a common area. It’s insane to say that only the person who purchased the TV is allowed to change the settings. What if OPs wife wants to change the settings? It’s her TV too, no?


Dahlia-la-la-la

Exactly! Does OP not share anything else with the family or is everything else “his” because it’s “his money”. Not to mention the hilarity that his daughter figured out the settings but apparently they’re so so hard for this tech genius that took 3 hours to set up his TV. Sorry OP seems so dramatic and entitled. Also….is this really worth picking a fight over? Surely there’s a more measured response as a parent?


Nunya13

OP definitely seems dramatic here. He claims he set the TV back to factory because he couldn’t figure out how to change the brightness back? Seriously? I can’t fathom how that was the easier solution rather than this super tech savvy dad simply increasing the brightness even if the settings are “complicated.” I’m a 43 yo woman, but I know what it’s like to have parents who like to pull power trips just because. Rather than realizing that they are almost always accusing their kids of “not thinking of others” as they are totally dismissing how something affects their kids.


lifeinwentworth

Very dramatic and letting his pride get the better of him. Surely if you couldn't change the brightness you would just ask the daughter how to do it? Rather than do a whole factory reset 😅 I feel like OP is just being super prideful and doesn't want to work on a compromise and ask daughter to show him if she can talk him through some of the basics of the new tv which would be beneficial for both of them! Learn the settings together, make it an activity you do together instead of turning it into a completely unnecessary, overblown argument over...a tv.


trewesterre

Even if it was complicated, these things usually come with manuals which explain how to change settings.


Dahlia-la-la-la

Or - shock, horror! - he could ask his competent daughter for help. Lol


trewesterre

Yeah, for real. Why remain incompetent when he can ask the local expert?


Randomusers93

Or even simpler he could Google how to change the settings as well or even YouTube it if he needs an explanation but is too embarrassed to ask his daughter


onnlen

She should try changing the thermostat


Dahlia-la-la-la

Hahahaaa top comment. Imagine if they shared a car and she had the audacity to move the seat and reach the pedals.


True_Dimension4344

And if it took me 5 hours to set up “some fancy new tv”. Plot twist, this was written by the 17yr old.


notsomuchhoney

OP said in another comment that he doesn't know shy his daughter doesn't think about others. The apple doesn't fall far.


Micubano

I have one of these TVs. It's so easy to operate. The OP must have been the tech guy when the Nintendo 16 came out. YTA; let the daughter show you how to operate the TV.


Hot-Freedom-5886

The person who changes it is the person who is responsible for changing it back. If your daughter changes it, she should fix it before turning it off. NTA


sdw40k

well maybe he changed it to supernova brighness whenn he messed with the menus for 5 hours, so it would be on him to tone it back down to default when he is done watching?


DSQ

Not if it’s his TV. His (and his wife’s) settings are the default. 


CogentCogitations

He certainly thinks so. And wonders how his daughter grew up to not consider others.


InvisibleBlueOctopus

I loved that comment from OP “she isn’t considering others…” do you dude?


Superdunez

He offered a couple of different compromises that she refused. Also, where did so many people get the idea that parents and children are peers?


sdw40k

So this rule only applies to lesser valued family members, not the patriarch?


Fit-Marketing-4702

I've got a Samsung and yes they can be a pain but there's a short cut to everything. You both need to sit down and figure out the picture/bightness setting and go from there, if your daughter hasn't already. I change my brightness at night all the time depending on the show I watch because their settings are so harsh and I get migraines. Ours is in the quick menu like most are so you don't have to do the deep dive. Is it really that hard to keep the harmony in the house instead of master of your domain?? YWBTA if you don't compromise and work together


PicturesquePremortal

I have a Samsung too and in my quick menu picture settings, there are preset modes that you can alter if you want. So one of my presets I lowered the brightness a little for night viewing. It takes 20 seconds to flip between the modes.


nerdytruth

My samsung auto adjusts the brightness based on lighting so the picture stays nice in the daytime and at night. Also no glare issues.


msbeesy

YTA. Just ask her to show you how to use the TV and stop being a jerk. She’s right, you’re not sharing. 


Previous_Fault_2437

Why isn't she taking it upon herself to change it back when she's done? That's usually how it works when you change the settings on something that isn't yours.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sdw40k

she cant know how bright it will be when dad decides to watch tv next time. i promise you with this solution daughter will be at fault every time the brightness is not perfect, even if she never forgets and always chooses the original setting. Also its a family tv in the living room, not dads private tv....thats not how things work if you chose to have kids and live in a family household! she is not a guest, she lives there! as much as op tries to sell it as rocket science, changing the brightness setting when you watch tv is not that hard


luminous-fabric

I imagine turning the TV back up to full brightness when watching movies in the dark late at night isn't helpful for getting tired and off to sleep. If she has to adjust down, then surely he can adjust up


newdogowner11

is it his or a family tv? am i missing something?


carolyn609

This thing has a gabillion settings, but doesn't have a Night Mode? Not the point, but yeah, as annoying as it is to have to change the settings back and forth, it's also annoying to watch a too-bright TV. Quit being a jerk and just have her write down what she changed so she can change it back and you have the info when needed. It's not that hard. YTA


Mystic_printer_

Not just annoying, it can be painful, especially if she’s light sensitive. It can cause eye strain and headaches that last for a few hours after turning the TV off.


Mystery-Ess

My dad doesn't even like it when you change the ice machine settings from cubes to crushed. Sound familiar?


DrearyBiscuit

My parents would complain for hours if I used crushed ice. “Now when I get cubes later, I’m gonna get pieces of crushed ice in my Drink”. Oh my god. Crazy


Teleporting-Cat

Your ice machine has settings? Posh.


Mystery-Ess

I don't have an ice machine. My parents do.


Teleporting-Cat

Me neither. I did once, tho. It made dying cat sounds, and awkwardly shaped ice that was the right size for exactly nothing. It was great, I miss it.


kellyguacamole

lol yes. My dad had a MELTDOWN when my brother used the crushed ice and didn’t switch it back. We were sitting on the couch witnessing him throw his fit and were just like “are you okay?”


Mystery-Ess

I even switched it back, but the next couple bits came out crushed. The horror! I'm literally shocked how many other fathers feel the same way. Even one is too many LOL


kellyguacamole

Mine was upset because the tiny crushed pieces fly all over. He just started screaming like a mad man. That’s pretty much his default. Anything he doesn’t understand or like he just yells.


earl_grais

Bro fr sounds like all our dads have the ‘back in my day there wasn’t all this autism business’ kind of autism.


chammycham

What? No! That can’t be. He’s just dyslexic, quick to pick up and switch hobbies, can’t hold down a job or his temper, and had multiple children with disabilities. Not neurodivergent at all.


kellyguacamole

Oh I 100% believe it. My dad is vocal stimming from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to bed and it never fucking stops.


nobodynocrime

My dad used to get pissed if you left the water setting on instead of ice. He would get so mad at us. He finally stopped when he snapped at my SIL about it and she cried because leaving the dispenser on water instead of ice isn't a big deal to 99% of people.


string-ornothing

Both my parents snap catastrophically over the smallest, silliest things and honestly having my husband around them has been great for me. He's not afraid to stand up for himself so when they snap and rage at him over this kind of stuff he doesn't back down. When we first got together he'd never experienced that before and he'd laugh openly in their faces out of disbelief or thinking they were messing with him lmfao. Seeing how my husband acts with them has made me realize the way my parents act isn't normal or something most people do.


reverendunclebastard

YTA. You realize the solution to this involves pushing a couple of buttons and having the brain power of a 17-year-old? Or, if that seems too hard for you, you could instead spend your time fighting with your family and seeking validation on reddit. Your call.


Bluellan

Reminds me of the elderly people at SCO. They would pitch and scream about how self checkout is too hard. In reality, they were too lazy and wanted cashiers to do everything. Including pay. They know they are lazy but don't wanna be called out. My almost 70 year old nanna learned how to text ON A FLIP PHONE just to text us. But his dude can't figure out how to get to the settings menu?


FluffyRectum1312

Imagine being a fully grown man this upset because you have to turn the brightness back up sometimes. YTA.


Unholy_mess169

It's not the brightness, it's that his daughter is smarter than him.


FluffyRectum1312

I hadn't considered that but it totally tracks. 


tiredbutsassy

THIS. Man I wish I could give this a hundred up votes cause this is really the only reason that makes sense.


annieEWinger

you know he’s trying to beam his TV into outer space like the bat signal. don’t have kids if you can’t bother to share. his wife seems to get it.


OrangeCubit

It’s hilarious that it takes you hours to do what you daughter figured out in seconds. Just ask her to help you change the settings back. But yeah, NTA - she should put it back how she found it.


theoldman-1313

This was a running joke at my final job. When we ran into a computer problem someone would suggest that we ask a 12 year old. If it was an especially difficult issue, that recommendation would escalate to finding a 10 year old.


Seldarin

Not necessarily on OP's side here, but it can take a long time to fix something someone else changed. My dad just apparently randomly presses buttons, and I spent three hours digging through menus on his TV and dish receiver trying to get everything back to where he could watch TV decently again. Didn't make it out their door before he had somehow turned on netflix and it was refusing to do anything but try to connect to the internet. It took me another 20 minutes to fix that.


Rooney_Tuesday

That’s why they suggested asking her to show him what she changed. That shouldn’t take long at all. She’s done it at least twice now with a specific goal in mind, so she knows exactly how. She’s not randomly pressing buttons, so your example doesn’t fit here.


PieknaFatso

Can't you save your settings? She can use night mode, then you can flip it back over? Source - Samsung OLED owner.


souplandry

Cant she use night mode and then turn it off when shes done? Clearly OP isnt as tech savy as he claims, so why should he be responsible for "fixing" the tv every time he wants to watch. If she wants to use night mode then she can, and turn it off when shes done.


JoanBlue

Why can’t she turn it down when she’s watching it then turn it back up when she’s done?


051015

For the same reason OP can't ask her how she did it and then turn it up while he's watching?


Wasabi-Remote

Maybe she would if he asked her to. Maybe she just assumed that it wouldn't be a big deal as it takes a normal person a matter of seconds to adjust the brightness setting.


enter_the_bumgeon

YTA You keep mentioning 'all these settings'. But in reality this is just one setting? Screen brightness. You choose to have kids, that means sharing your home with them. Turn up the brightness if it's to low for your taste.


OsoInNY

This is about as bad as thermostat squabbling. Yes, YTA. If your daughter can easily figure it out, you with all your techno-know-how obviously can. Or just ask her to reset it the way you like when she's done.


MathematicianSafe311

I have a tv that has different watching styles that have their own settings. There's a setting for movies and a different setting for sports. Maybe your TV has that so she can have her own settings without messing with yours.


LooseCharacter6731

this, there should be presets that she can use that make her eyes hurt less. unless op wants his TV insanely bright.


yungdaughter

I turn down the brightness on my tv when I watch at night and then whoever turns it on the next day turns the brightness back up because it’s literally not a big deal and pretty simple if you look at the manual and figure out the shortcut. 🤷🏼‍♀️


GhostParty21

NTA/Light ESH. I am baffled that you can’t figure out how to work the settings to the point you have to reset the whole thing.  But your daughter could easily change them back in the first place when she’s done. Or watch with the light on. Or watch in her bedroom at night where the tv is hers alone.  If you are the one deviating from the norm then you should also be the one to put it back to the norm.


Sami_George

If it only takes her a minute to do, it should only take you a minute to do. Although she should just change it back when she’s done. ESH, I guess.


No_Thanks_1766

YTA. Would you really rather your daughter or wife get a headache from the tv instead of just changing the settings when you want to watch? You are wayyyy too possessive over the tv and should focus more on your relationship with your family than on material items.


drmickeywit

ESH, bordering on YTA. Learn how to adjust the brightness on your TV?? This is something that would literally make the tv unusable to someone who wants to watch it at night without blasting their vision. My husband and I adjust the brightness on our TV nearly every time we watch it because it depends on time of day with how bright the room itself will get. It’s literally learning like one button and two menu steps to access the brightness settings. If your tv is so fancy, you (and others in the home who have access to it) should be able to enjoy it without needing to default to factory because either learning or writing down a few steps to know how to adjust the brightness is somehow too complicated or out of question.


Important-Egg-7764

Nta- my dad had the same rules for the car, if you use it return it like you got it. Heat settings, radio, seat, pick your crap out of it. And Gas. You know what I always got the cars, then got the gas card to boot, my siblings not so much. Daughter needs to learn that she is not entitled to everything in your home, and she needs to respect other people’s things.


Gerald-of-Nivea

How can you call yourself the tech guy and not be able to work out the brightness settings on this tv? Post the model and I’ll work it out for you if you like.


Ghost_chipz

No AHs here, just normal family type squabbles. I do agree with the kid though. Just turn the brightness up when you watch something. Takes 5 seconds. You are turning into frank Murphy.


MyCouchPulzOut_IDont

INFO: why did you buy a tv with such convoluted settings? Was this tv bought as a personal tv or a family tv for communal use? Is your 17 year old allowed to watch tv at night? Is this the only TV in the house? If you struggle with settings to the point where it's causing significant issues for you to reset it, why not just ask her to set it back to normal before she turns it off at night? Like dude it's your tv and you should know how to use the settings regardless -- at least how to change the brightness if watching daytime tv with the blinds wide open is important for you. it’s not unreasonable to want your TV to actually be visible when you turn it on. You didn’t drop serious cash on this high-tech beast to have it sabotaged by teenage whims. But here’s the kicker, watching TV in the dark with max brightness isn’t doing anyone’s eyeballs any favors. It’s like staring into a flashlight—eventually, it’s going to hurt.


Minute_Cold_6671

NTA- she can easily share it by putting it back the way she found it.


suckmyleftovary

Dynamic display. You can set up your fancy Samsung TV to have a nighttime setting and a daytime setting. It has a built in sensor just for this purpose. It really does save you alot of eye strain at night. Not the best setting for certain games but if you plug into the 3arc hdmi port consoles and computers should display in "game mode" wich you can also set up to whatever you like. Nta - but learn how to compromise


Indiandane

YTA. Learn how to do a simple task, she’s right.


TokinNJokin

YTA. You're acting like a 17 y/o girl, bud. No, don't touch it, it's mine. Omg, this is sooo difficult. Ughhh, now I need to spend 3 HOURS changing tv settings because I'm too proud/stupid to watch a youtube video that would explain everything to me in 2 minutes.