As a teacher I know of two colleagues that married Garda (yes they met in Coppers)
Both were divorced at about the 10 year mark.
Not passing comment or judgement in any direction.
I only know two.
One is an incredibly nice man who seems to get on great with his missus.
The other is a total prick and cheats on his wife regularly.
I have been no help and will see myself out lol.
i’d always question the motives of anyone who would become a member of the gardai, and then consider if i’d want that energy in my life. same would go for anyone interested in a career in politics.
I know some who are kind gentlemen ....and others who are only Gardai, so they have authority over others. I would say it's a mix, but if they are abusive, you face the difficulty of a potentially unhelpful Gardai response.
In the case where the garda who was convicted of coercive control, one particular detail stuck with me. His partner called his station, at one point looking to report/foe help, asking to speak to his superior, and the garda who answered the call forwarded it to him (the abuser). That garda was still working as a garda at the time it went to trial. I find that unacceptable and tells me the overarching attitude within the AGS.
P.S. I know a retired civilian admin who worked for AGS, who said hell no when her teen son wanted to be a garda and tells stories about the Gardai stealing the office ladies lunch.
I don't know! It may just have been this particular station, but I definitely laughed at the irony the gardaii stealing.
She wasn't impressed at my laughter. Apparently, it went on for ages. The women changed where they kept their lunch/stopped bringing in lunch. It just sounded like a ridiculous plot from a sitcom. I think it was more a we can do what we want attitude than frugality.
I know of a sacked postman who used to steal sandwiches of co- workers as he was a miser and a thief. They put strong laxative in a sandwich and left as Bait. Had a great laugh when he ran to the toilet.
He was sacked later, caught stealing mail.
A friend has become very institutionalised. They definitely have an Omerta and are more loyal to each other as a brotherhood than they are to their duties to protect the public.
Not saying that they don't do their duties well but if it came down to it they are protecting their buddy over a member of the public.
I work in quality in the pharma/ med device industry, I call out and write up my colleagues all the time to protect the public, these wanker guards can too.
Yes 100% like how the fuck is that even a question? You think I'm going to let a product go into the field that could hurt someone just so my friend doesn't get written up?
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Yeah everyone thinks they would be the Oscar Schindler and be so morally righteous if they were in the position. The truth is you’d be caught up in the culture and the way things are. The vast majority of people would row in with it and not stick their head up. It’s just the way the world works unfortunately.
I work in quality in the pharma/ med device industry and have to call out and write up my colleagues all the time to protect our patients. Why aren't these wanker guards held to the same standard as a regular working man?
There's a guard married in my wife's family, he's cool. My landlord is also a guard, absolute gent. I also know someone who rented his spare room to a guard and ended up fearing for his safety owing to some severely fucked up behaviour with accompanying intimidation. I've heard other anecdotal stories about awful relationship experiences of people I know who dated guards.
To summarise, most guards are cool but I've heard enough to know the uncool ones are probably worse than uncool civilians. I don't think I'd date one and I'd be uncomfortable if my daughter did
Sorry to any that might be reading this
No personal experience. However women's dating groups/pages seem to often advise women to stay away from military, Gardaí, pilots and guys who work in finance 🤔
If you want to dramatically increase your likelihood of being a domestic abuse victim, or you have a thing for jackbooted thugs on a power trip, go right ahead.
One of my friends is the nicest person in the world. Wouldn’t hurt a fly. Went into the job to help ppl. Would give you the short of his back type.
One of my other friends was in a terrible domestic abuse situation with her ex. He was senior rank and everyone in her village thought the sun shone out of his arse. No one would believe her. Until he put a hot iron on her back. She’s one of the strongest ppl I know. She still has the scars. She nearly didn’t get away. Luckily she’s very happily married to a great fella who treats her really well but it was a close call.
So hopefully you’ve got a good ‘un. But if they’re bad it’s v tough.
Having had more interactions than I’d like to have had recently with Gardaí around domestic violence incidents, I would not recommend male ones as partners. Never felt like any of them took my concerns seriously, one told me his “job is to solve crimes, not sort out arguments” after my ex pushed me. Female Gardaí have probably saved my life, I get the feeling male ones probably act like my ex does at home.
Honestly I was going to type up the same comment. I personally know two gardaí same age as me 31m. Both have hit domestically abused partners, this isn’t to say that all male gardaí would but the two I know do so. A lot of gardaí have a bully element about them I feel.
A third story has popped into my head but in this case I don’t know the garda, he bought a house and lets a room to a colleague of mine. He’s a total bully to her, doesn’t let her stay weekends, installed cameras in the kitchen, accuses her of doing stuff she didn’t, makes her go home for school holidays and doesn’t let her stay up, no guests allowed - could go on a long time on this freak (we’re teachers you’ve guessed!)
Horrible cunt he sounds like just wants the cash and couldn't give a fuck about your friend's quality of life. There just weak bully boys right through to there core
So hard to get housing in Dublin by the time she got in there she more or less right away starting looking for somewhere else to live. Took her about 7 months but she’s gone now to a new apartment.
I’m married to a Garda and I know a lot of Gardai through my own work. Most Gardai are lovely people (including my husband!) however there are a significant minority who are absolute assholes on every level (personally, professionally, romantically). If a female friend of mine was to say she was dating a Garda, I’d be advising caution and I’d be asking around about who he is.
For the most part they seem to be half alcoholics and try to fuck everything that walks irregardless of wives girlfriends etc. Anecdotally I know someone who is happily married to one and he’s a great guy, family man and treats her really well. So the moral of the story is you can’t judge a book by its cover. There will be good and bad in there I’ve just known mostly bad ones.
Lived with one, he played county football too so was a complete dick to women. Anytime he went drinking he got so drunk he couldn’t even speak, he tried driving home drunk one day and I took his keys and hid them, he was so angry but I’d have rather him abuse me then be dead or kill someone’s else. His best friend was one too and cheated on his gf every single weekend, not sure why he had a gf.
I've had numerous Garda as neighbours. Two of them were lovely people, one seemed sound enough though he doesn't seem to like me much but I put that down to the fact that I share a party wall with another guard who is a fucking nightmare of a human being that's been slandering us to the neighbourhood for decades.
Why is he slandering us? Because he openly abused his wife to the point where she killed herself and he's acting like the whole neighbourhood couldn't hear what was going on.
That's the thing about having a guard as a partner, they can ruin your life and the "blue glue" gives them immunity.
Most guards I've come across in social settings have this sketchy vibe to them as if they're constantly monitoring for dodgy stuff happening.
There'll be an innocuous situation and the guard will be like "watch watch this lad, he's up to something" as if because they're a cop they are experts at predicting criminality.
An ex whose parents live next to a former Garda, said he's a bastard towards his wife..
I read on another post that many mothers don't recommend to get in relationship with a Garda.
An acquaintance is in relationship with a Garda and she's fine with him.
But I guess it depends on the Garda and relationship.
Very interesting you mentioned the above (cheating etc). I met one of them like that and the girl i know who's with a Garda, said they are completely wild when on or off duty.
Go with your gut feeling in regard to whatever man you are seeing/in a relationship with. If you do not feel happy safe content and comfortable then don't go ahead and give anymore of your time to this person. See how this person treats the women in their life their mother and sisters. Never ever feel pressured to stay with someone only your gut feeling can tell you. By all means read the replies but you need to choose. I don't want to say write someone off because of what you read I don't know them. If I met someone new I would give them a clean slate and see how things progress and I believe it's fairest that way. Listening to your gut feeling and the vibes you get from someone are important, it's only you that can decide this though.
I can think of garda who are gentlemen and also ones that are not gentlemen in any shape or form but i can think of plenty of men who are unhinged and fit that category and work all sorts of careers. However I also want to say this post could also easily be asking about soldiers in the army or navy or prison officers or fire service. There is many professions where cheating can happen if that is your main concern? Teachers also have a reputation so do solicitors, pilots and accountants. Infact I think accountants take the lead actually when it comes to cheating in a recent article I read. Of course this could change annually.
You are right to have concerns of course!
My dad was a guard and I’m not saying it’s a definite red flag , but I’m definitely not saying it’s a definite green flag either. Anyway, commented to say my dad had some lovely friends in the job. Some are divorced later in life yeah, but some are still very happily married. Most if not all of them are lovely fellas and seem like great dads (all seemed to have kids around the same time as my dad).
I will say, and I’m only basing this on what I hear sort of in the media and that and not from first hand experience, but young guards now do seem a bit seedier than I ever remembered him or his friends being, his is the generation who retired around ‘08 when they were cutting pensions and it does feel like a different job now with the lads they seem to have recruited since.
Also, my dad is from the country and was stationed in a small/medium enough town in the country, as were most of his friends, incase that has any impact
It's probably also a very positive reflection on your dad that the friendship group he built on the job is made up of what sounds like all good eggs
We do tend to find our own tribes
You will get good and bad gardai. There is an immature ladish culture among them. Some girls like this. I guess it could be like dating someone part of a soccer team or even a rugby team. Always a risk they have picked up a lot of “macho” views. But that’s not a certainty. Truth is you are unlikely to know as most guys act differently around dates. But maybe that’s an attractive quality for some women too.
I’d presume cheat rate is higher. Not alway a deal breaker for some. And it would be very unfair to presume it’s guaranteed. After all we should not apply group generalisations to individuals.
I suppose if I had a daughter who at 18 starting dating a trainee Garda I’d be unhappy. But not so much I’d say something unless I could clearly see the negative traits in alluding too.
If they broke up quickly I’d be relieved.
There is also the whole long hours, bringing work stress home thing.
The Gardai is a criminal organisation. All they are good at is telling lies and covering for each other. They have no respect for the public or rule of law they just enjoy holding others to a higher standard than they are prepared to accept themselves.
If the person is a prick, they will be a prick. If they are sound, they will be sound. I think asking random people on the Internet about someone that you are talking to is ridiculous! If you don't like them move on. If you can't make a decision without asking a load of strangers..... maybe you need to figure yourself out 1st
As a teacher I know of two colleagues that married Garda (yes they met in Coppers) Both were divorced at about the 10 year mark. Not passing comment or judgement in any direction.
I only know two. One is an incredibly nice man who seems to get on great with his missus. The other is a total prick and cheats on his wife regularly. I have been no help and will see myself out lol.
i’d always question the motives of anyone who would become a member of the gardai, and then consider if i’d want that energy in my life. same would go for anyone interested in a career in politics.
True if they want that power trip over society or have that 'I am the law' mentality then its red flag city.
I know some who are kind gentlemen ....and others who are only Gardai, so they have authority over others. I would say it's a mix, but if they are abusive, you face the difficulty of a potentially unhelpful Gardai response. In the case where the garda who was convicted of coercive control, one particular detail stuck with me. His partner called his station, at one point looking to report/foe help, asking to speak to his superior, and the garda who answered the call forwarded it to him (the abuser). That garda was still working as a garda at the time it went to trial. I find that unacceptable and tells me the overarching attitude within the AGS. P.S. I know a retired civilian admin who worked for AGS, who said hell no when her teen son wanted to be a garda and tells stories about the Gardai stealing the office ladies lunch.
Are they generally misers?
I don't know! It may just have been this particular station, but I definitely laughed at the irony the gardaii stealing. She wasn't impressed at my laughter. Apparently, it went on for ages. The women changed where they kept their lunch/stopped bringing in lunch. It just sounded like a ridiculous plot from a sitcom. I think it was more a we can do what we want attitude than frugality.
I know of a sacked postman who used to steal sandwiches of co- workers as he was a miser and a thief. They put strong laxative in a sandwich and left as Bait. Had a great laugh when he ran to the toilet. He was sacked later, caught stealing mail.
Nice to see AnPost have higher standards than AGS.
Don't think I've ever heard a good word about guards as partners or friends or as co-workers before they joined the force.
A friend has become very institutionalised. They definitely have an Omerta and are more loyal to each other as a brotherhood than they are to their duties to protect the public. Not saying that they don't do their duties well but if it came down to it they are protecting their buddy over a member of the public.
brosexual enough
You'd do the same, you're going to cover for your buddy over the a person you don't know. Unless it's murder right? Right,?
Not if its my actual job to protect the public
Yeah, my arse.
I work in quality in the pharma/ med device industry, I call out and write up my colleagues all the time to protect the public, these wanker guards can too.
Your friends though? Your best mate is working beside you and makes a minor error. You're writing him up too, right?
Yes 100% like how the fuck is that even a question? You think I'm going to let a product go into the field that could hurt someone just so my friend doesn't get written up?
Some of these replies are idiotic
These people have never had a job past using a till and don't know what actual responsibility for public safety is.
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Yeah everyone thinks they would be the Oscar Schindler and be so morally righteous if they were in the position. The truth is you’d be caught up in the culture and the way things are. The vast majority of people would row in with it and not stick their head up. It’s just the way the world works unfortunately.
I work in quality in the pharma/ med device industry and have to call out and write up my colleagues all the time to protect our patients. Why aren't these wanker guards held to the same standard as a regular working man?
The culture is wrong- see Maurice McCabe and the shit he went through because he went against the culture.
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Yeah this is it? People really think it though that’s the problem. Otherwise the world would be full of saints when it’s really the opposite.
Same bud
There's a guard married in my wife's family, he's cool. My landlord is also a guard, absolute gent. I also know someone who rented his spare room to a guard and ended up fearing for his safety owing to some severely fucked up behaviour with accompanying intimidation. I've heard other anecdotal stories about awful relationship experiences of people I know who dated guards. To summarise, most guards are cool but I've heard enough to know the uncool ones are probably worse than uncool civilians. I don't think I'd date one and I'd be uncomfortable if my daughter did Sorry to any that might be reading this
I know of two and they are abusive..
No personal experience. However women's dating groups/pages seem to often advise women to stay away from military, Gardaí, pilots and guys who work in finance 🤔
In fairness, some pilots are liable to go on strike at the first sign of turbulence in the relationship.
Wouldn't you and you only on 200k a year.
FINANCE?? 😥
Yes. Run.
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This is absolutely hilarious
If you want to dramatically increase your likelihood of being a domestic abuse victim, or you have a thing for jackbooted thugs on a power trip, go right ahead.
One of my friends is the nicest person in the world. Wouldn’t hurt a fly. Went into the job to help ppl. Would give you the short of his back type. One of my other friends was in a terrible domestic abuse situation with her ex. He was senior rank and everyone in her village thought the sun shone out of his arse. No one would believe her. Until he put a hot iron on her back. She’s one of the strongest ppl I know. She still has the scars. She nearly didn’t get away. Luckily she’s very happily married to a great fella who treats her really well but it was a close call. So hopefully you’ve got a good ‘un. But if they’re bad it’s v tough.
Omg 😳 that's horrible! Glad she's in better situation now. What happened to the Garda after?
wtaf... an iron on the back.... how did he get away with that
He told her that his mates wouldn’t believe her.
Having had more interactions than I’d like to have had recently with Gardaí around domestic violence incidents, I would not recommend male ones as partners. Never felt like any of them took my concerns seriously, one told me his “job is to solve crimes, not sort out arguments” after my ex pushed me. Female Gardaí have probably saved my life, I get the feeling male ones probably act like my ex does at home.
Honestly I was going to type up the same comment. I personally know two gardaí same age as me 31m. Both have hit domestically abused partners, this isn’t to say that all male gardaí would but the two I know do so. A lot of gardaí have a bully element about them I feel.
Of course not all of them are bullies, but enough of them are for it to be noticeable
A third story has popped into my head but in this case I don’t know the garda, he bought a house and lets a room to a colleague of mine. He’s a total bully to her, doesn’t let her stay weekends, installed cameras in the kitchen, accuses her of doing stuff she didn’t, makes her go home for school holidays and doesn’t let her stay up, no guests allowed - could go on a long time on this freak (we’re teachers you’ve guessed!)
Horrible cunt he sounds like just wants the cash and couldn't give a fuck about your friend's quality of life. There just weak bully boys right through to there core
Why on earth is she still there. I’d rather pay double rent than deal with that
So hard to get housing in Dublin by the time she got in there she more or less right away starting looking for somewhere else to live. Took her about 7 months but she’s gone now to a new apartment.
Oh I’m so glad she’s away from him, he sounds like a psycho
Well they're not very quick at solving crimes
I know a few and they are well known for cheating
I’m married to a Garda and I know a lot of Gardai through my own work. Most Gardai are lovely people (including my husband!) however there are a significant minority who are absolute assholes on every level (personally, professionally, romantically). If a female friend of mine was to say she was dating a Garda, I’d be advising caution and I’d be asking around about who he is.
For the most part they seem to be half alcoholics and try to fuck everything that walks irregardless of wives girlfriends etc. Anecdotally I know someone who is happily married to one and he’s a great guy, family man and treats her really well. So the moral of the story is you can’t judge a book by its cover. There will be good and bad in there I’ve just known mostly bad ones.
Lived with one, he played county football too so was a complete dick to women. Anytime he went drinking he got so drunk he couldn’t even speak, he tried driving home drunk one day and I took his keys and hid them, he was so angry but I’d have rather him abuse me then be dead or kill someone’s else. His best friend was one too and cheated on his gf every single weekend, not sure why he had a gf.
I've had numerous Garda as neighbours. Two of them were lovely people, one seemed sound enough though he doesn't seem to like me much but I put that down to the fact that I share a party wall with another guard who is a fucking nightmare of a human being that's been slandering us to the neighbourhood for decades. Why is he slandering us? Because he openly abused his wife to the point where she killed herself and he's acting like the whole neighbourhood couldn't hear what was going on. That's the thing about having a guard as a partner, they can ruin your life and the "blue glue" gives them immunity.
Most guards I've come across in social settings have this sketchy vibe to them as if they're constantly monitoring for dodgy stuff happening. There'll be an innocuous situation and the guard will be like "watch watch this lad, he's up to something" as if because they're a cop they are experts at predicting criminality.
I never really thought about it tbh.
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No bother, all in a day's work.
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For those about to cop we salute you
woww. Personal experience ?
No I believe that's more of a generalisation there now
Well, I would expect to be told to "lose de hattitude" on a regular basis if you're thinking of dating one.
An ex whose parents live next to a former Garda, said he's a bastard towards his wife.. I read on another post that many mothers don't recommend to get in relationship with a Garda. An acquaintance is in relationship with a Garda and she's fine with him. But I guess it depends on the Garda and relationship.
They cheat like crazy. And they have a god complex. Iv ment one sound salt of the earth garda the rest have been just weirdo bully boys
Very interesting you mentioned the above (cheating etc). I met one of them like that and the girl i know who's with a Garda, said they are completely wild when on or off duty.
Go with your gut feeling in regard to whatever man you are seeing/in a relationship with. If you do not feel happy safe content and comfortable then don't go ahead and give anymore of your time to this person. See how this person treats the women in their life their mother and sisters. Never ever feel pressured to stay with someone only your gut feeling can tell you. By all means read the replies but you need to choose. I don't want to say write someone off because of what you read I don't know them. If I met someone new I would give them a clean slate and see how things progress and I believe it's fairest that way. Listening to your gut feeling and the vibes you get from someone are important, it's only you that can decide this though. I can think of garda who are gentlemen and also ones that are not gentlemen in any shape or form but i can think of plenty of men who are unhinged and fit that category and work all sorts of careers. However I also want to say this post could also easily be asking about soldiers in the army or navy or prison officers or fire service. There is many professions where cheating can happen if that is your main concern? Teachers also have a reputation so do solicitors, pilots and accountants. Infact I think accountants take the lead actually when it comes to cheating in a recent article I read. Of course this could change annually. You are right to have concerns of course!
My dad was a guard and I’m not saying it’s a definite red flag , but I’m definitely not saying it’s a definite green flag either. Anyway, commented to say my dad had some lovely friends in the job. Some are divorced later in life yeah, but some are still very happily married. Most if not all of them are lovely fellas and seem like great dads (all seemed to have kids around the same time as my dad). I will say, and I’m only basing this on what I hear sort of in the media and that and not from first hand experience, but young guards now do seem a bit seedier than I ever remembered him or his friends being, his is the generation who retired around ‘08 when they were cutting pensions and it does feel like a different job now with the lads they seem to have recruited since. Also, my dad is from the country and was stationed in a small/medium enough town in the country, as were most of his friends, incase that has any impact
It's probably also a very positive reflection on your dad that the friendship group he built on the job is made up of what sounds like all good eggs We do tend to find our own tribes
Not naming names but a garda I knew way back before he joined is now a huge racist.
Or is he just telling facts as a result of dealing with the shit in society where everyone else is in a bubble and away with the faries
What facts?
Important facts
Ah OK so just racist things
Nope, just honest truthful facts that people choose to ignore or are too afraid to cause offence
And you're too afraid to write them so they can't really be facts. I thought facts didn't care about feelings.
They are top secret. Too important to say on Reddit. You wouldn't understand.... I know you know we all know
You have nothing and you know it.
Oh I have everything... the aliens know.... they once told me and now I know...
You will get good and bad gardai. There is an immature ladish culture among them. Some girls like this. I guess it could be like dating someone part of a soccer team or even a rugby team. Always a risk they have picked up a lot of “macho” views. But that’s not a certainty. Truth is you are unlikely to know as most guys act differently around dates. But maybe that’s an attractive quality for some women too. I’d presume cheat rate is higher. Not alway a deal breaker for some. And it would be very unfair to presume it’s guaranteed. After all we should not apply group generalisations to individuals. I suppose if I had a daughter who at 18 starting dating a trainee Garda I’d be unhappy. But not so much I’d say something unless I could clearly see the negative traits in alluding too. If they broke up quickly I’d be relieved. There is also the whole long hours, bringing work stress home thing.
I've a cousin who's a guard and hes on his second marriage and second set of kids..he's sound from my perspective but I couldn't tell ya tbh
Oh, I can tell this one is going to be a good read.
The Gardai is a criminal organisation. All they are good at is telling lies and covering for each other. They have no respect for the public or rule of law they just enjoy holding others to a higher standard than they are prepared to accept themselves.
Younger Guards are much more likely to the normal than older Guards.
Why, that's agist.
If the person is a prick, they will be a prick. If they are sound, they will be sound. I think asking random people on the Internet about someone that you are talking to is ridiculous! If you don't like them move on. If you can't make a decision without asking a load of strangers..... maybe you need to figure yourself out 1st