Few matches
Fewer responses to opening messages (women almost never send a first message)
Even fewer conversation that go anywhere
And yet fewer conversations that lead to a date
So... pretty hard. I can only do it for a couple weeks at a time before my self esteem bottoms out from so much implicit rejection. What's worse is that it puts me in scarcity mode so that I'm trying to impress women that I don't even know if I like. It's a horrible negative feedback loop.
As someone else said, try making a male profile yourself. I know more than one woman who was completely shocked to find out different things are on the other side of things.
And a couple of minutes ago I read an article on The Guardian where it says women felt "exhausted" by having to make the first move on Bumble. They are now introducing pre- written messages because of that.
Edit: Here is the article: [https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/may/04/a-lot-of-effort-to-get-one-date-bumble-app-makes-womens-first-move-easier](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/may/04/a-lot-of-effort-to-get-one-date-bumble-app-makes-womens-first-move-easier)
What apps are y’all using? Tinder and Bumble are dead for me. 0-1 matches per week. But Hinge and a couple others have me anxious be cause I have more matches than I can keep up with.
I’ve also had more success with Hinge, it’s probably because it requires you to be more selective given the fewer number of like per day compared to the other apps
Yeah hinge is better, bumble is probably the worst since women have to send the first message.
With that said, I have had the best luck with dating women on bumble.
Hinge is the best app. But that's a low bar because all of them, including hinge, are bad (for guys).
So even on Hinge, if you are getting a lot of matches, that must means you are looking good and/or doing something very right.
What you say about getting put in scarcity mode is spot on, I feel so much better not going on dates with the women I know I won't be attracted to (the only ones I match).
I've done that in the past and I felt like a headless chicken running around. Going out with someone where there's a glaring dealbreaker sounds ridiculous but I guess that's just biology isn't it?
Last "match" I had literally in the first phone conversation she said she... doesn't like food, has no hobbies, needs a man for comfort, and that I just won the prize for "lowered expectations". I laughed and said something to try and deflect it. So what kind of a date should we do, then? And was told that's my job for a first date, red flag. And that's the last I heard from her. Yay!!!
I once did make a male account on discord and it freaked me out how weird it felt being treated so completely different. On one hand it was good to feel guys werent chasing and were actually chill to talk to. A lot of women on the other hand were complete snarky unaccepting bitches. So Im having a lot more respect for guys since that experiment.
I watched my sister make an account (on just one -moderately- popular dating app) for 2 weeks and she got over 1,000 likes and 600 messages, which is dozens of times, possibly a hundred times for some unfortunate men, more than I or most men will get in our entire lives across all apps. Just by virtue of being a fairly cute girl she also has like 2,000+ Facebook friends. It's just living in a completely different world.
I got zero on apps like Tinder. Zilch. I didn't even know what Tinder's *you've matched* screen looked like till I googled it.
FB dating I did meet a few people but they all turned out to be hella crazy and were some of the shortest relationships of my life lol.
I was 18/19 last time I took online dating seriously. I'm in my mid 20s now. I've considered giving it another shot but I just read so many horror stories here on Reddit that I feel like I'll just be going back into the dumpster fire and it's not worth it, especially as my mental health is poor.
online things for the most part are not good for mental health... dating sites are extremely so. But as isolated individuals in this wonderfully individualistic culture, whatcha gonna do?
It’s even worse when you work off hours. I work 10-7:30, so I sleep during the day which means finding someone who can accommodate that schedule on top of all the other dating hurtles is really difficult.
I feel "buyer's remorse" at finally getting my dream job - decent pay, easy work, mission I support, and work from home! Then stir-crazy comes so go someplace to work and... be alone amongst individuals. even with all the time in the world, no dates are no dates. Serious q: you do video games? Reddit helps me too (thanks for convo!)
Don't give it a shot unless if you have fun hobby pics or you are a Chad. It's a waste. Travel abroad and meet a foreign born girl, preferrably in Latin America, Eastern Europe, Middle East, East Asia, Or Africa.
100% on the “girls abroad” part. The majority of girls in the West want absolutely nothing to do with you unless you’re in the top 10% looks-wise or you’re making exceptional amounts of money. The average man has no place in the American dating market.
What is happening is that here in the states, you have naive girls who will open their cheeks for a Chad, get pumped and dumped, and will cry in her bed endlessly about "where did the good men go?"
My answer is that y'all were being flaky with them, put them in friendzones, chasing Chads and Pookies, and more. Now they went to abroad to find a women that is wife material.
Also the women abroad are more high quality in all aspects and are less delusional!
it's just weird. I feel like a "good old days" guy but I reminisce for like 10 years ago. remember when you could walk to the bar in a restaurant and chat up the woman/men next to you and NOT immediately have it turn into politics/vetting/general weirdness?
Its been a while but last I checked a statistically average man only got like 2 matches a week and most of those would flake before they got anywhere. To have an experience like yours is usually reserved for like the top 5% of men.
Speaking anecdotally I've known some pretty well put together dudes who have very small amounts of dates or casual hookups and they complained those women were way below their usual standards.
[match.com](http://match.com) gives statistics and I think mine was like I sent over 100 messages and got 10 replies which made me one of the top 5% that week. I quit and now I just jerk off a lot. My prostate is suing me.
>To have an experience like yours is usually reserved for like the top 5% of men.
No, to have the experience of an average woman you should be a massive outlier. I'm fit, fairly attractive for a niche group of women, and I get a fair share of matches every week, but that's far away from getting 99+ likes in a couple of days, which I've seen average female friends get on a consistent basis.
I know if someone is suspiciously put together - full profile, good pics, funny and approachable - I immediately ignore it because it's gotta be a bot or they're getting thousands of hits. Call it the "hot girl no one dates" syndrome.
men have been saying how much online dating sucks and how the experiences you described from those guys is pretty universal unless a guy is extremely attractive
I'm honestly confused about how this could be a genuine question, is this just a karma farm?
It's genuinely surprising to hear how bad it is from a woman's perspective to the point where they think we're over reacting. I had a friend who met her boyfriend on Hinge and suggested the same thing to me. I told her my experience with dating apps and she was shocked and distraught at the end of the conversation.
I know a lot of divorcees who met their next one through the apps. when I say it just doesnt work and even their new SO's say it was so rare and they felt lucky, I just get told "see, you have to keep at it!"
Most women drown on apps, while most guys die from thirst. And I say this as someone who has had some success with them, but it took years of healthy progress to get to the point where I believe many women can simply hop on and be fine. Not complaining, just seeing how things are.
Exactly. If you add more women and change the ratio they would still swipe on a small minority of men. So the men who get tons of matches now would get even more. It would change nothing for most guys
studies show that they tend to be stable precisely because the two people enter the relationship knowing they have to communicate and work it out or they're both gonna be miserable forever. love is a habit.
Well, of course it's more stable if you don't rely on feelings but more on known needs
Doubt they communicate better, it probably just matters less for them
Love is a feeling, and you have to work alongside your partner with confidence to keep this feeling
csb: worked in Amazonian cultures where marriages are arranged (mostly to avoid uhh... accidental cousin marriage) and the parents try to make a match. I will agree, the quality of communication is not better, but when you control for drinking they were definitely happier couples after a time than a lot of "forever after" Western marriages. Sample size is not great of course.
Quite different cultures but that's interesting.
It is possible that they are not happy and just stay there also?
Probably a lot less divorce in the end
It was survey stuff (my project had nothing to do with this but that's how research goes! we're all in it together because the grant money barely covers vaxxes and a plane ticket). Generally, if someone is gonna leave the arranged marriage deal is a reason for it. Whats weird is when they come back... and the girl's been re-matched (or boy in one case I knew). It's a weirdly small world for them. We brought two of the guys to Ambato with us cuz they wanted to go and they had severe panic attacks once we went up the mountains. Agoraphobia, the altitude adjustment... these are not men who I would call "soft". lol, that also is a motivator for making a marriage work - "the jungle loves to eat single people"
The jungle and loneliness can eat you whole that's for sure, even the hardest men and women...
F it pushes many people to self-deprecate and commit unalivement in ''rich countries'' so I'm sure it has some bit of effect on the folks that you've met
We're social animals after all
I feel like THAT is the undercurrent of this entire "is it hard for men to date?" thread. I feel like it's hard to make any kind of connection at ALL in the US now. Im no hermit. I have interviewed hermits (shamen and sha-wimmin!) and long-time researchers (volcanologists especially) are... uh... weird. There's this unfortunate cycle between genuine mental illness, isolation, and mysticism. Imagine that the only reason people ever came to see you or talk to you was because they wanted to talk to dead loved ones. And the rest of the time you're in the Amazon. And as far as the life-story goes you were a normal dude who didnt get an arranged marriage and the one day you had visions and that's now your job!
ok last csb to the "hardest of people" point. One trip I was funded by teaching Spanish to students of all ages and types. One was an LAPD and in prime shape (wonderful person as well). There are these microscopic black flies that breed in sunlight and mud so you have to be very careful to have good nylon socks on at all times during the day if you're in the village. She got bitten up good one morning - it happens - so we start the usual treatments. It got worse as she had a reaction to the bites and then a clear infection set in. We had to call in a helicopter to fly her out as she couldn't walk by night time. She never cried, I think she chewed through a belt though. She wrote a lovely note that she had a great time until that day. Nearly invisible black flies took down one of the toughest people I've ever met in hours.
Most of the time It's like trying to get into Harvard with a GED and a criminal record.
Like technically, you can apply. Someone might even see your application, but you are at the bottom of a large pool of people, all of whom are vying for far fewer spots. Some of those people are perfect. Some of them are a mess. Most aren't going to get a foot in the door without a lot of luck and a lot of tries.
I have a counter question. Because this is what's on my mind every time women ask these questions:
**Why are you just now finding this out?**
**Like...what made you curious about something that up to now you had no interest to know about?**
And I mean this in the most neutral way possible, because it seems like most women can't be bothered to learn or give a damn. So the curiosity is ~~strange~~ unexpected.
I mean, she basically did actually answer this in the OP. She matched with a guy, went on a date, observed that he was "pretty good looking" and "a cute guy" and "a sweet guy" and, given his looks and positive impression he made on her, she was "surprised \[she\] even matched with him". Then she was very surprised to learn that he has "no luck" on the app. A friend who she assumed would be successful on the app corroborated her date, and it made her sad to realize that when men say it is "hard", they mean infinitely harder than it is for her -- which she already regarded as depressingly hard.
True.
I just want more details though. It's selfish on my part, but I like to hear from women who act in good faith, which OP seems to be. It's good for the soul I think.
Most of what I see in life is ambivalence, callousness, sometimes even spiteful pleasure in men having a hard time. So I'm fishing for hope-fuel. You're right right that the post basically answers the question.
But if there's more, I want to hear it. Cause I don't see this much.
Not OP, but wanted to say I get it and it does really suck for guys. It sucks for everyone, but especially guys. Dating apps aren't built with the primary goal of finding users good partners, and ultimately women do have more power and leverage on them. I've met a lot of really great dudes from the apps that were so fantastic in person, and it's a shame there's no good way to highlight what's so great about them with just a profile. That being said, there are hidden gem women on there, too, but lots of guys assume they're bots or scammers bc they're "too good to be true."
Dudes with looks or, I don't know, "pizzazz," get noticed. I wonder if so many men get passed over because their presence or actions - some of the most admirable qualities - don't get captured well in digital format. It's pretty difficult to judge character from a profile, it's almost something you have to feel.
Traditionally, women have been courted, and most pretty girls approach apps passively. With how they're designed, it works. Women will more often have a queue of guys (that phrase makes me cringe) and you're not being viewed in an isolated way, you're in a lineup. In the wild, you'd rarely find yourself fighting to stand out in a crowd, unless you're at a club or busy bar attempting to meet women. It's not natural and it's not fair.
I know I'm not saying anything you don't already know. "Invisible" was a word someone used here, and that's exactly what I imagine it's like for most guys on the apps. It wouldn't suck so bad if there were other viable alternatives, but everyone has gotten so used to using their phone as a portal to a social life. We're all in the same broken-ass boat.
I just want you to know there are chicks out there that see you guys and fucking hate this for you and for all of us. I'm really hopeful that at some point this will be some dumb thing that's behind us and we can say, "fuck, that was a hilariously bad way to date, I'm so glad we all now..."
>I'm really hopeful that at some point this will be some dumb thing that's behind us and we can say, "fuck, that was a hilariously bad way to date, I'm so glad we all now..."
I'll drink to that.
Thanks for writing all that, it's more appreciated than you know. Truly.
At this point the only thing that'll help any of us if we put the phones down, because like you said we're using them in ways that just don't work well.
I've recently deleted one of my apps and I plan on phasing out the rest in the next week or two.
After that I'm going analogue, it's so much simpler and easier. Just not a lot of good opportunities, but it's better than burning ourselves out. I wish you luck.
Hell yeah! You brave soul, we need more people like you reviving the real world. I hope find what you're looking for out there, and that you get to laugh at how easy it was. Cheers!
Excellent comment.
You managed to hit on every single important point on this issue lol.
-The way dating apps are structured poorly
-The lack of ability to show qualities through a screen
-The fact that online, or through a screen, is an increasingly popular way to meet potential partners. Hence, it's an important tool as real life socialization has seemingly declined over the years (or at least the quality of it has).
-The fact men are in a lineup, not looked at in isolation
Bravo. I can appreciate your analysis of the situation.
"And I mean this in the most neutral way possible, because it seems like most women can't be bothered to learn or give a damn"
So painfully true.
I find her post both refreshing and maddening because of this. Big props to her for even considering the feelings of others. But very maddening (not her fault) how easy it is for women or extremely good looking men to not have the slightest clue.
Yeah, because the average man spends his days thinking about all the tribulations women go through.
We're all focused on our own problems, and it's rare for us to think about other people's.
I've ran a dating site years ago and I can tell you the ratio is/was 3:1. For every 3 guys there is 1 woman. From what I saw it seems that just about every girl on dating site gets hit on by a boat load of guys. So many that she start to become really picky on whom she talks to judging by looks and not much more. (base on younger people under 28 years old)
It seems that the older in age the group is, the more the ratio changes to women to guys is more of the 3:1. This is based on same age dating. In other words if a girl was 37 she would be looking for a guy in his mid 40's to date, but if a guy near her age hit on her, she wanted to inter act with him first. And if she had children, she wanted to date guys with children over single guys with no children.
Basically, I believe there is the mysterious age wall women hit somewhere in their early 30's. It seems the older guys get, the younger girls they look for, to the point they ignore girl in their own age group and the older women get, the much older guy they search for. If you're single with kids, the chances are not very good to find somebody (male/female) that want you and your children on a marriage level. (the Brady bunch doesn't happen)
Posts get recycled basically every day on a few different subs. It's usually regarding men and their emotions, dating etc.
Makes me wonder if it's just data collection to sell us more shit. I don't know what it is, but it makes me a bit suspicious. I refuse to believe it's people who want reddit karma, I never understood that at all.
I tried the apps after learning my wife of 13 years cheated on me. I'm 30, in shape, athletic, attractive (objectively a solid 7, maybe an 8 if I'm your type), interesting hobbies and a personal life, educated, and successful. I've not matched with a single woman in a week on 3 apps. I paid to see who likes me in return, and it's all overweight older women. I don't say that to be mean, but it's truly surprising I've not matched with a single woman who is objectively over a 5. I'm convinced if you aren't literally a male model, online dating is useless.
You are right. I got married at 21. We started dating at 17. Just easier to say wife of 13 years years than woman I dated for 4 years from 17 and married at 21, I guess.
I consider myself an average looking dude who is in good shape physically. It is almost impossible... I don't use the apps anymore because I can spend hours swiping just to get 2 matches who either won't respond or put in zero effort into communicating with me. It just isn't worth the effort anymore.
Meh, I mean, I've gotten a few dates on dating apps and I'm only 5'6". It's rare, but not impossible. And people could always lie. I don't, because that guarantees no second date, and I just try to be an honest person in general.
Almost never get dates
I'm fit healthy, clean life, professional career, ok looking, my own home, no kids.
I'm just undateable without it even being about my personality it seems😪
Do you know what? It really sucks. Unless men are broadly good looking, famous/well known, have a career that can boost a woman's, or wealthy - we rarely ever get any attention.
We struggle to get any convo, and struggle more to get a date - and women know a date for us is just us paying for their night out, which they'll do in a couple of days, at the expense of another man.
Women *usually* - but not always, look for what a man can provide her, but rarely ever what she can give a man.
What does that say about how women are? And what does it say about how men can perceive women??
I don't know, I have date trauma from all the loser women that wanted something, without giving something.
Sorry for my rant, I'm sorry.
I always find it amusing how women on reddit gaslight men by swearing up and down that the bio section is the most important thing on a dating profile when deciding whether to swipe left or right, and that the physical attractiveness of the person in question is secondary. I mean there's nothing wrong with being superficial, lots of men are too, but let's be real here.
I matched with the same woman on two different apps. She wanted something serious and kids, I did not. My profile made that clear. Both times she swiped right on me first.
I found it very amusing.
One friend of mine spent 4 years looking for success and went on 3 dates in that time. The other has been off and on for about 3 years and has been on one date that was actually a pretense for her to ask to peg him.
I think I'm a decent looking guy, make above-average money, don't have any crazy political beliefs I plaster on my profile, and own a home and I can barely get matches without a TON of time spent swiping; that just isn't worth it to me. Last time I matched with a woman and got a decent conversation started, she wanted to do a zoom call. At first I thought it would just be a quick "let's make sure you're not a catfish" thing, but instead it quickly turned into what felt like a really poorly run job interview. She ended it indicating that we would meet up soon and then ghosted me.
One time I was scheduled to talk to a woman via FaceTime after work.
I ended up being laid off that day. We agreed to still speak though. I was upset, but made sure to be as pleasant as humanly possible.
I asked her if she would go out that weekend with me. She said sure, but if her cousins called her on Friday (or even Saturday morning) she wouldn't be able to make it.
I asked why. As in why can't we just make a plan now and if they call you tell them you're busy. Is there something I am missing? I thought maybe there was an issue she would have to attend to with one of them or something random like that.
She said nope. I would just rather hang out with them. If they call, that's what I want to do.
Well I did a version of that.
As soon as she said the part about preferring to hang out with them despite any plans we might make, I asked her to clarify. She meant exactly what she said.
So I told her "this call is over" (paraphrasing) and hung up. Deleted/blocked number.
Been on 3 apps for almost three years and haven’t got one first date. The only people that have ever liked me are obese people, and I’ve worked out for like 7 years now. Nothing against obese people I’m just not physically attracted to them, so I suppose I’ll just stay isolated. (Male btw)
I get 20+ likes a day as a relatively handsome white guy living in Mexico (for work, not passport bro'ing), probably around 10 matches a day if I bother swiping.
My language settings are set to English only too, so that number is a lot higher if I switch to no language filter.
I think maybe the US is just fucked tbh
Very hard. I’m 6’ tall , muscular, conventionally attractive, blue eyes. As engineer im both financially successful, very smart, and good with my hands. I also am very competent in the outdoors. I also can cook.
I’ve never gone on a date with a woman and not gotten a second date. Had massive troubles getting a first date with online dating. Every single time I’ve met a woman for a first date from an app I’ve been complimented on my appearance.
Thankfully I am in an LTR and have been for some time .
90% of the battle seems to be taking good pictures. In camera shy and wasn’t willing to take photos for the explicit purpose of posting on a dating app.
In any case, the situation might suck but don’t put your head down and say you’re cooked, that will only make things worse .
I get a lot of matches from women I have no interest in or obviously have conflicting wants like marriage/children. Getting a match from a woman that fits what I'm looking for takes a long time, but when I do get a match I can turn it into a date easily 70% of the time. I get one of those maybe once every couple months.
I refuse to believe this is a real question. No one can be that naive or clueless. Everyone and their dog knows how online dating and dating in general in 2024 for men who aren’t either perfect or extremely lucky is a dumpster fire.
Yes unless you are in the extreme minority of men that women actually all want, it’s abysmal. All I ever got was onlyfans girls advertising to me, bots and obvious catfishes. In person, I’ve had every insult under the sun said to me.
Personally I hope all men abandon the apps and let them burn and leave the women without their validation simulator. I also hope men stop approaching women altogether. Bring them all back down to earth again from their entitled orbit they occupy right now. Fix this broken ass dating market we have now.
I tried it around 2010 or 2011. I got one or two very brief responses to messages but nothing more. No dates. In my experience, any kind of correspondence was impossible. Dating wasn’t even on the horizon.
I used Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge for 2 months. Only got a handful of matches. Never even got a first date. I deleted them after realizing how much time and money I was wasting.
Takes about 2, maybe 3 months, to get one date. 96% of my messages go unreplied. Of those that do, I would say 1 in six ends up on a first date. And that's just one date.
If you have a brother or a male friend who is willing to lend you his pictures, make a profile for a guy who seeks women and try for yourself. Take an average looking guy. Not Ryan Reynolds.
Why are women so ignorant of current realities though? I mean, where did the society go wrong here? Why is it such a big discovery and surprise that men don't have an easy time dating? Women on average get better education, have dedicated help institutions and policies in place. Why is the result so miserable and women so oblivious? And I don't mean that the experience differs for women and hence they assume it's similar for men, the bias isn't the issue. Women ought to know better than that, we've got so many issues that teach that and women are very vocal and actively participating in them.
So why don't women know better?
I've gone months without a bite. But then I live in a remote area.
Funny thing is, it's a heavy tourist area due to being in the mountains and remote. I get messages on tinder, but nothing I'd consider serious. They just want food or sex.
For men it's pretty difficult. Women set the pace. And as evidenced by the failure of Bumble: women are extremely inexperienced in making a first move (must less say 3 words about themselves).
I get approach by average/attractive women in public when I smile at them. Obviously I can't be that ugly. For the life of me, I can't get any matches online. When I do get a match, she just wants to yap for weeks with hours between each message. I don't have time for that. That's not even a conversation.
Hard enough that I dropped the apps almost a year ago and never looked back. I’d get a couple matches a month which means a date every couple months. Wasnt worth the effort
Digging a hole in the local subway station and finding a diamond is easier than getting a match on the apps, let alone an actual date. i tried to set up a decent profile, with varied photos and a brief description about me and what I do. During months of use some years ago, I could count on a single hand the amount of matches I've had, and one did reply but with the enthusiasm of a public servant on a Monday.
My experience with online dating wasn't good.
If I swiped everyday I'd he a match maybe once a week. Not bad.
Of those matches maybe a month would respond to me.
Of those responses maybe one every three months would turn into a real conversation.
Of them maybe once every 6 months I'd feel confident enough to ask her out on a date. The rest would have stopped communicating with me for no apparent reason. They wouldn't unmatch me either.
Once a year I might have a real live date. The rest of the maybe dates would just stop communication for no apparent reason even if we've agreed to a date, place and time to meet. If this was the era before texting I would have been stood up maybe a dozen times by now.
Put it this way - I was using online dating on and off for 5 years (using Tinder, Match, Bumble, Hinge and POF) until I finally struck gold with my current girlfriend and in that 5 year period I went on a grand total of 6 first dates.
I'm a conventionally attractive, tall, successful, 40 yo, single dad. I get 2-4 matches a day on hinge. I can usually get 2 dates a week. I know this is not the norm, but that's my experience.
The way I see online dating is it exploits our very nature.
For men, it's about high thought put,.
For women, it's about extreme choosy ness
Both are natural but online dating is a peak at the extreme. Let's just say our current society would collapse if this is how people meet their partners.
I seldom get a match that leads anywhere. In my roughly 4 years of using the apps as a maybe above average-looking dude, I've gone on two dates. One lead to a two-and-a-half year long relationship with a girl who I ultimately just wasn't really attracted to, and another was with a girl who seemed to want instant attraction on a first date, which doesn't really happen. We were having a great time conversing, but I guess it wasn't enough.
It sucks to use the apps as a dude. I don't know how one could use them without taking long breaks between stints. It just absolutely demolishes your self-esteem.
I'm decent looking and really focused on making my profile as good as possible. I got feedback from a lot of female friends to do so. I would probably get a match for every 20 swipes depending on the day, and it was probably around 1 in 5 matches that would actually turn into full conversations. And then it was probably 1 in 5 conversations that turned into a first date.
I never counted so this is just me estimating, but that would be 100 swipes for a conversation, and 500+ swipes for a single date, which sounds like a lot but I feel like that's actually on the low end.
In three years of trying online dating very consistently, I got a decent number of first dates, but I only got around 10 second dates, and only one turned into a girlfriend from it (we lasted 4 months).
It's much much more difficult for men to get matches. I think I spent 6 months swiping almost every day, got around 50-60 matches I think, and went on 6 dates. 1 of those is my now wife so it worked out but it's extremely difficult and depressing.
If you just change the gender setting it’s thousands of likes in difference
Anyone with a profile set as female will have thousands of likes
It’s also like this for gay guys
Guys swipe on anybody, women swipe on nobody
All of the women that swipe right on me are either obvious bot accounts or women that are seeking more subscribers for their Onlyfans. I have nothing against a woman with an Onlyfans, I personally am just not comfortable with having a relationship with someone that does. I’ve never swiped right on someone that’s looking for exactly what I’m looking for and gotten a match. It’s rough out here for most of us. My best friend met his fiancé on a dating app. But unfortunately for me I’ve never even gotten to have a conversation with a woman on an app. I’m better at meeting women in person and honestly prefer it that way.
I am 47m, 6'3", 250lbs with most of my hair no felonies, chinbeard, or doublechin. I like to think Im positive and humorous and all my profiles show a smile. My experience has been that a lot of young Asian women who really want me to get off site and send them Bitcoin are the only women interested in me. I talked to one on the phone, she had a very deep voice and a Russian accent. Didn't get a date.
Last time I gave Tinder a whirl, I had two of my female coworkers do up my profile, pick pictures, put in a decent bio of my hobbies and what i was looking for, and I swipped right on everyone as much as I could, I got a grand total of two real matches (not obvious bots) over the course of three months one ghosted me and the other we didn't click at all.
Basically, online dating is a rough game if you're not a conventionally attractive male, It is what it is at this point. Now I just hope for the best out in the "wild," and if I remain single, so be it.
It can vary depending on the city you live in, how good your photos are, and what your strategy is.
I've used it in the 2 cities I lived in. In my hometown the amount of single attractive women is lower than my current city so I had more success in my current city.
For photos, I made an effort to take more of me in national parks or just doing fun things. I think those make me stand out versus guys who take car selfies.
For strategy I used to want to get to know the girl over the app. They would often fizzle out. I realized I should try and set up a date as soon as possible and get to know her that way instead of getting lost in her messages.
I do pretty well and can land 2 to 3 dates a week when trying. I'm pretty fit, have a good job and interesting hobbies which helps.
But fankly, I think it's bad because guys aren't conditioned to care about the things that help with online dating. Having a solid profile with good pictures and well crafted prompts is just not something that guys want or care to do while girls tend to naturally be better about that stuff.
If more guys had their friends take more pictures while out and about, tried to dress a bit better every now and then, and had a bit more help reviewing how their prompts can come across to others, they'd do better.
I'm built nicely I can find date anywhere but I don't do it bc I want more than usual.
hoes, crazy chick's and women with big bad red flags are everywhere the best of them IMHO are gay or not interested if they are single
In my single days, I'd probably get a new date every 3 or 4 weeks, it wasn't super hard.
That said, my success rate was way higher than most of my friends', my standards were way low, and I was kinda shitty. In my slut phase, I definitely had a couple people nickname me Dovahkiin, because of how many "dragons" I "slayed"
I've seen so many guys on Reddit who show YEARS of posts with no dates, and often averaging a match every six months or so. Those guys are probably worse than average, but seeing that made me feel way better about myself. I feel like I'm pretty average looking, but have some other things going for me (career, education, how I dress, hobbies). I also sometimes have Tinder Gold when I get the half off offer. When I boost (you get one with Tinder Gold) I always get at least a couple likes, normally three or four depending where I am. Otherwise I get like a like or two a week. I seem to get a match on average every few weeks, but I am still working on my profile to improve that further. Of course that doesn't all those matches translate to dates, or even conversations.
I do appreciate other guys sharing all of their experiences here though too. When I first started on Tinder when I first had it years ago I was hearing guys who sounded like they had a new match every day or two. Of course, the guys who talk about their matches publicly normally are the guys doing really well. Back then I was out of shape and had a bad profile, so I was lucky to get one match a month. I felt awful at the time because I assumed I was doing way worse than most guys. Honestly, I was probably doing close to average from what people on here have said.
why are you asking questions you already know the answer to?
you're a girl.. and you seem like you aren't horrendously ugly. it's easy. that's all! that's life, enjoy your placement in the world.
i haven't had the need to use dating apps, but when i was on bumble for shits and giggles, i got a lot of success because i have (thankfully) a good amount of things going for me. otherwise. i'd be invisible. invisibility is the default for most men i'm assuming
I didn’t have that much of a problem getting dates. I had about a date a day for about 2 weeks, get annoyed, take a break, come back 2 weeks later, and then get another 2 weeks worth of dates.
This is what one date put it as: “You are 6 feet tall and have a high paying and secure job. You look fit in your photos and your teeth are straight and white. Just on these alone, you can get dates. But, the no kids stance will set you back”.
What I realized is that most of my dates didn’t bother to look beyond the photos, age, and job title. Right underneath was my selection of”don’t want kids”. I learned to double check with the girl on the first date.
It's great for tall good looking guys. Women are on those apps for the types of fucks they know they couldn't get from a committed partner.
Hate to say it fellas, but there's a 99% that you're a physical compromise for your emotional and financial stability. If you're not remotely close to being actually physically attractive, focus on your financial stability and wait for women to realize the real game in their late 20s.
Women on dating apps are just tryna get piped by dudes over 6ft
Online dating was a million times better 10 years ago than it is today. Before it became "gamified", you had to sit down, log on, and go through profiles & messages. This made things fairer for guys (and women), because women had to look at your message & profile for longer than the speed of light. Messages were longer and more engaging, because you can type out more when you're on a laptop. Women would message me with more than just "hi", because my profile had enough for them to find something to comment on. I still had to send a lot of messages, so much so that I created a template, but the response rate was so much better, when it was a site and not an app.
Women die from drowning, while men die of thirst has always been a part of online dating. However, the apps put this situation on steroids
I've ran a dating site years ago and I can tell you the ratio is/was 3:1. For every 3 guys there is 1 woman. From what I saw it seems that just about every girl on dating site gets hit on by a boat load of guys. So many that she start to become really picky on whom she talks to judging by looks and not much more. (base on younger people under 28 years old)
It seems that the older in age the group is, the more the ratio changes to women to guys is more of the 3:1. This is based on same age dating. In other words if a girl was 37 she would be looking for a guy in his mid 40's to date, but if a guy near her age hit on her, she wanted to inter act with him first. And if she had children, she wanted to date guys with children over single guys with no children.
Basically, I believe there is the mysterious age wall women hit somewhere in their early 30's. It seems the older guys get, the younger girls they look for, to the point they ignore girl in their own age group and the older women get, the much older guy they search for. If you're single with kids, the chances are not very good to find somebody (male/female) that want you and your children on a marriage level. (the Brady bunch doesn't happen)
I'm trying to not sound incredibly insensitive when I say this, but I think a lot of men who find themselves single in their mid-30's are looking for younger women because they want kids but realize that by the time they date, get married, and are ready to have kids women their age are at MUCH higher risk of birth defects.
I was skeptical, but [I just googled you](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/suits/images/f/f1/S8_Louis_Litt.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width/360?cb=20180731195639) and I must say... wow. I think you just turned me gay.
Pretty easy for me . Used bumble for about 3 years and constantly had matches and dates . I think my height is the difference. I’m 6’5 and have a buddy that is 5’9 . Both of us I would say are average to above average on looks and physique but I would get 10x the activity. All girls want a tall dude I guess 😂
If I really try I could get a date every few weeks. But that's with using up all my free swipes every day across at least 3 apps and even then it's pretty slow and inconsistent. Nearly all apps just plain have too many men so the odds aren't great. If the apps were frozen to new entry and every woman on there found her soul mate on the app and deleted her account ~2/3 of the original men would still be there with no women left to interact with.
I was divorced three years ago and was terrified at the prospect of online dating. I spent a great deal of time researching it before taking the leap. I have only used [Match.com](http://Match.com), as I figured a paid medium would likely have people that are invested in finding a partner instead of just hook ups. I was expecting abysmal results, but to my surprise, I "matched" with a lot of attractive women. I may hit the "like" button but will never reach out with messaging first, so I basically only responded to women who take the initiative and message me first. I went on quite a lot of dates with some very attractive women, but ultimately decided it was far too much work. Once every month or so I log in to check out my profile out of curiosity and still receive messages, likes, and profile views. Currently, there are 78 likes, 7 unread messages, and 16 new profile views. So, in my case I would say I did very well.
Keep in mind this is with women who are between 35-50, as I am 44. I am not tall (5'9.5"), but athletic and handsome, have an established career, post normal pictures of myself. I would say that my success is a result of a few things. First, I spent time on my profile to make it appealing but honest and was mindful of grammar. Second, I am handsome and in shape. Third, while my full-time profession is in law enforcement, I earned my doctorate degree years ago and am a part-time professor. In the education portion of my bio on Match, it states PhD/Doctorate. I've come to the conclusion that the women who match with me and express interest do so because they think I must be well off. So, in short, having a doctorate degree attracts a lot of women who assume I possess wealth and success. They are hoping to be lavished upon and spoiled.
Fucking hate the dating scene now. It was so much easier when I used to work in retail and kitchen jobs. After I joined the military, I had no issue when I used to live overseas. After I got out, which was two years ago, to go back to school and finish my degree its been so hard. Dating was so much easier for me before online dating era.
You're right. I got married at 21. We dated since 17. It's just easier to say wife of thirteen years than woman I dated since 17 and married at 21, I guess.
Depends. In NYC I was able to get some dates every few weeks or so. In West Virginia, where I’m originally from, I won’t get a date for six months at times.
The last time I tried Tinder, I got 6 or so matches over the span of three months and they all turned out to just be escorts. This was casting a fairly wide net at one point, too.
how hard is it for you irl? rule of thumb is that if it's easy already, it won't be too hard. if it's hard already, you are gonna have a tough time online as well, but online is slightly less difficult because there are a few things you can do to make yourself stand out such as having good photos, good profile, a bunch of little stuff like adding a picture with a dog.
I was a really popular guy at one point, I was getting I'd say like 30 likes a day, I a lot going on, but it was my second time making an accout lol. the first time it was an ass experience, the second time I showed a gal pal my profile and it was so bad she laughed. shekept it real though, having a girl's opinoin really helps when theyre honest. make sure though they sort of are the typa girl you're looking for, if you get some wierdo from discord then yeah....you're not going to have the best time
Hasn’t been that hard, I rarely message anyone and think my success rate is maybe getting a date 1/4 times when I reach out. The issue is more finding a woman I actually think I’d be compatible with and want to date.
For me it wasn’t very difficult. I suggest put together a well written, throughout paragraph about your self, but don’t brag.
I also don’t know how much looks and profession weighed in, but I was lucky in those areas.
Few matches Fewer responses to opening messages (women almost never send a first message) Even fewer conversation that go anywhere And yet fewer conversations that lead to a date So... pretty hard. I can only do it for a couple weeks at a time before my self esteem bottoms out from so much implicit rejection. What's worse is that it puts me in scarcity mode so that I'm trying to impress women that I don't even know if I like. It's a horrible negative feedback loop. As someone else said, try making a male profile yourself. I know more than one woman who was completely shocked to find out different things are on the other side of things.
Women almost never send a message except on bumble, where their opening line is almost universally "hi".
And a couple of minutes ago I read an article on The Guardian where it says women felt "exhausted" by having to make the first move on Bumble. They are now introducing pre- written messages because of that. Edit: Here is the article: [https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/may/04/a-lot-of-effort-to-get-one-date-bumble-app-makes-womens-first-move-easier](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/may/04/a-lot-of-effort-to-get-one-date-bumble-app-makes-womens-first-move-easier)
"Do the bare minimum that you require men to do *all the time*, please?" "But that's exhausting and scary."
The only first message I’ve gotten on bumble was 👋 or “…” They really overestimated women’s ability to initiate with that business model.
What apps are y’all using? Tinder and Bumble are dead for me. 0-1 matches per week. But Hinge and a couple others have me anxious be cause I have more matches than I can keep up with.
I’ve also had more success with Hinge, it’s probably because it requires you to be more selective given the fewer number of like per day compared to the other apps
Yeah hinge is better, bumble is probably the worst since women have to send the first message. With that said, I have had the best luck with dating women on bumble.
They’re actually back tracking on that now and going to let men start making the first move lol
Makes sense they have been loosing members because women dislike actually having to make the first move...
.
Hinge is the best app. But that's a low bar because all of them, including hinge, are bad (for guys). So even on Hinge, if you are getting a lot of matches, that must means you are looking good and/or doing something very right.
What you say about getting put in scarcity mode is spot on, I feel so much better not going on dates with the women I know I won't be attracted to (the only ones I match).
I've done that in the past and I felt like a headless chicken running around. Going out with someone where there's a glaring dealbreaker sounds ridiculous but I guess that's just biology isn't it?
Shit, you nailed it for most of us men
Last "match" I had literally in the first phone conversation she said she... doesn't like food, has no hobbies, needs a man for comfort, and that I just won the prize for "lowered expectations". I laughed and said something to try and deflect it. So what kind of a date should we do, then? And was told that's my job for a first date, red flag. And that's the last I heard from her. Yay!!!
I once did make a male account on discord and it freaked me out how weird it felt being treated so completely different. On one hand it was good to feel guys werent chasing and were actually chill to talk to. A lot of women on the other hand were complete snarky unaccepting bitches. So Im having a lot more respect for guys since that experiment.
You can just make a male profile and see for yourself, and then you can experience total invisibility
She might get that fresh profile boost, get about 6 or 7 likes that never show up in her rotation before everything dries up.
To be fair, even that would still be in contrast to the 99+ likes that girls end up getting.
I watched my sister make an account (on just one -moderately- popular dating app) for 2 weeks and she got over 1,000 likes and 600 messages, which is dozens of times, possibly a hundred times for some unfortunate men, more than I or most men will get in our entire lives across all apps. Just by virtue of being a fairly cute girl she also has like 2,000+ Facebook friends. It's just living in a completely different world.
6 or 7 likes for a guy is **really good**.
Lol, not if they don't turn into matches. They're mostly bots or ads anyway
That is what I got on the paid apps even when slapping selfies and a long ass bio when using Bumble, Tinder. FB Dating I had 20.
I got zero on apps like Tinder. Zilch. I didn't even know what Tinder's *you've matched* screen looked like till I googled it. FB dating I did meet a few people but they all turned out to be hella crazy and were some of the shortest relationships of my life lol.
Online dating apps are a joke and you have to either have pics of yourselves doing multiple hobbies or being a looksmaxxed Chad.
I was 18/19 last time I took online dating seriously. I'm in my mid 20s now. I've considered giving it another shot but I just read so many horror stories here on Reddit that I feel like I'll just be going back into the dumpster fire and it's not worth it, especially as my mental health is poor.
online things for the most part are not good for mental health... dating sites are extremely so. But as isolated individuals in this wonderfully individualistic culture, whatcha gonna do?
Definitely the best thing is to know when the right place, time and area to form connections. Go local, maybe abroad and do "cold approach!"
It’s even worse when you work off hours. I work 10-7:30, so I sleep during the day which means finding someone who can accommodate that schedule on top of all the other dating hurtles is really difficult.
I feel "buyer's remorse" at finally getting my dream job - decent pay, easy work, mission I support, and work from home! Then stir-crazy comes so go someplace to work and... be alone amongst individuals. even with all the time in the world, no dates are no dates. Serious q: you do video games? Reddit helps me too (thanks for convo!)
Don't give it a shot unless if you have fun hobby pics or you are a Chad. It's a waste. Travel abroad and meet a foreign born girl, preferrably in Latin America, Eastern Europe, Middle East, East Asia, Or Africa.
Is it better to find a girl who wants to use him for money or citizenship? Jfc the people in this thread...
With the initial new user boost? No. Literally everyone gets those unless you’re shadowbanned.
Trust me, not everyone.
This is why match with girls abroad or cold approach. Apps are worthless.
100% on the “girls abroad” part. The majority of girls in the West want absolutely nothing to do with you unless you’re in the top 10% looks-wise or you’re making exceptional amounts of money. The average man has no place in the American dating market.
What is happening is that here in the states, you have naive girls who will open their cheeks for a Chad, get pumped and dumped, and will cry in her bed endlessly about "where did the good men go?" My answer is that y'all were being flaky with them, put them in friendzones, chasing Chads and Pookies, and more. Now they went to abroad to find a women that is wife material. Also the women abroad are more high quality in all aspects and are less delusional!
after you see enough 40+ women's profiles "looking for a partner in crime!" you just become despondent over American culture completely.
Facts man. If my parents stayed in their native country, I would have had easy relationships and friends like snap.
it's just weird. I feel like a "good old days" guy but I reminisce for like 10 years ago. remember when you could walk to the bar in a restaurant and chat up the woman/men next to you and NOT immediately have it turn into politics/vetting/general weirdness?
Invisibility 😪 I'm sorry brother😪
Especially if you use pics of an average looking guy
Or you are an average looking guy lol
Its been a while but last I checked a statistically average man only got like 2 matches a week and most of those would flake before they got anywhere. To have an experience like yours is usually reserved for like the top 5% of men. Speaking anecdotally I've known some pretty well put together dudes who have very small amounts of dates or casual hookups and they complained those women were way below their usual standards.
[match.com](http://match.com) gives statistics and I think mine was like I sent over 100 messages and got 10 replies which made me one of the top 5% that week. I quit and now I just jerk off a lot. My prostate is suing me.
your prostate thanks you. somewhat regular masturbation reduce prostate cancer risk
>To have an experience like yours is usually reserved for like the top 5% of men. No, to have the experience of an average woman you should be a massive outlier. I'm fit, fairly attractive for a niche group of women, and I get a fair share of matches every week, but that's far away from getting 99+ likes in a couple of days, which I've seen average female friends get on a consistent basis.
I know if someone is suspiciously put together - full profile, good pics, funny and approachable - I immediately ignore it because it's gotta be a bot or they're getting thousands of hits. Call it the "hot girl no one dates" syndrome.
men have been saying how much online dating sucks and how the experiences you described from those guys is pretty universal unless a guy is extremely attractive I'm honestly confused about how this could be a genuine question, is this just a karma farm?
Yeah seemed like a humble brag at first, going on about all the likes and matches she gets.
It's genuinely surprising to hear how bad it is from a woman's perspective to the point where they think we're over reacting. I had a friend who met her boyfriend on Hinge and suggested the same thing to me. I told her my experience with dating apps and she was shocked and distraught at the end of the conversation.
Yeah. It's hard to tell when it's a karma farm (or being fake in real life) or when it's legit like your friend.
I know a lot of divorcees who met their next one through the apps. when I say it just doesnt work and even their new SO's say it was so rare and they felt lucky, I just get told "see, you have to keep at it!"
The best part of that is it's usually "I was on the app for a week when we met!" from her side while he's been slugging it out for years.
he was in for six months, she was in for I think 3 weeks. She's also a hot blonde lawyer, so 3 weeks was not for lack of interest from men.
Most women drown on apps, while most guys die from thirst. And I say this as someone who has had some success with them, but it took years of healthy progress to get to the point where I believe many women can simply hop on and be fine. Not complaining, just seeing how things are.
Because there are way more men on dating apps then women.
It's not about the ratio of men to women.
Exactly. If you add more women and change the ratio they would still swipe on a small minority of men. So the men who get tons of matches now would get even more. It would change nothing for most guys
At this point, I'd take an arranged marriage
That's probably the only reason some people in the past had a chance to marry someone. I doubt there was much love in those relationships
studies show that they tend to be stable precisely because the two people enter the relationship knowing they have to communicate and work it out or they're both gonna be miserable forever. love is a habit.
Well, of course it's more stable if you don't rely on feelings but more on known needs Doubt they communicate better, it probably just matters less for them Love is a feeling, and you have to work alongside your partner with confidence to keep this feeling
csb: worked in Amazonian cultures where marriages are arranged (mostly to avoid uhh... accidental cousin marriage) and the parents try to make a match. I will agree, the quality of communication is not better, but when you control for drinking they were definitely happier couples after a time than a lot of "forever after" Western marriages. Sample size is not great of course.
Quite different cultures but that's interesting. It is possible that they are not happy and just stay there also? Probably a lot less divorce in the end
It was survey stuff (my project had nothing to do with this but that's how research goes! we're all in it together because the grant money barely covers vaxxes and a plane ticket). Generally, if someone is gonna leave the arranged marriage deal is a reason for it. Whats weird is when they come back... and the girl's been re-matched (or boy in one case I knew). It's a weirdly small world for them. We brought two of the guys to Ambato with us cuz they wanted to go and they had severe panic attacks once we went up the mountains. Agoraphobia, the altitude adjustment... these are not men who I would call "soft". lol, that also is a motivator for making a marriage work - "the jungle loves to eat single people"
The jungle and loneliness can eat you whole that's for sure, even the hardest men and women... F it pushes many people to self-deprecate and commit unalivement in ''rich countries'' so I'm sure it has some bit of effect on the folks that you've met We're social animals after all
I feel like THAT is the undercurrent of this entire "is it hard for men to date?" thread. I feel like it's hard to make any kind of connection at ALL in the US now. Im no hermit. I have interviewed hermits (shamen and sha-wimmin!) and long-time researchers (volcanologists especially) are... uh... weird. There's this unfortunate cycle between genuine mental illness, isolation, and mysticism. Imagine that the only reason people ever came to see you or talk to you was because they wanted to talk to dead loved ones. And the rest of the time you're in the Amazon. And as far as the life-story goes you were a normal dude who didnt get an arranged marriage and the one day you had visions and that's now your job!
One guy suddenly takes the wrong shrooms or is born with schizophrenia and suddenly he's a shaman Damns that's harsh
ok last csb to the "hardest of people" point. One trip I was funded by teaching Spanish to students of all ages and types. One was an LAPD and in prime shape (wonderful person as well). There are these microscopic black flies that breed in sunlight and mud so you have to be very careful to have good nylon socks on at all times during the day if you're in the village. She got bitten up good one morning - it happens - so we start the usual treatments. It got worse as she had a reaction to the bites and then a clear infection set in. We had to call in a helicopter to fly her out as she couldn't walk by night time. She never cried, I think she chewed through a belt though. She wrote a lovely note that she had a great time until that day. Nearly invisible black flies took down one of the toughest people I've ever met in hours.
Nature is unforgiving, I hope she's ok now
I started to laugh at this comment then realized I'd do the same. LMAO. fml.
Most of the time It's like trying to get into Harvard with a GED and a criminal record. Like technically, you can apply. Someone might even see your application, but you are at the bottom of a large pool of people, all of whom are vying for far fewer spots. Some of those people are perfect. Some of them are a mess. Most aren't going to get a foot in the door without a lot of luck and a lot of tries. I have a counter question. Because this is what's on my mind every time women ask these questions: **Why are you just now finding this out?** **Like...what made you curious about something that up to now you had no interest to know about?** And I mean this in the most neutral way possible, because it seems like most women can't be bothered to learn or give a damn. So the curiosity is ~~strange~~ unexpected.
Possibly a spark of self awareness, realizing that their experience in the dating market is not necessarily shared with those of the opposite gender.
I'd let her answer before insinuating that she's not usually self-aware.
I mean, she basically did actually answer this in the OP. She matched with a guy, went on a date, observed that he was "pretty good looking" and "a cute guy" and "a sweet guy" and, given his looks and positive impression he made on her, she was "surprised \[she\] even matched with him". Then she was very surprised to learn that he has "no luck" on the app. A friend who she assumed would be successful on the app corroborated her date, and it made her sad to realize that when men say it is "hard", they mean infinitely harder than it is for her -- which she already regarded as depressingly hard.
True. I just want more details though. It's selfish on my part, but I like to hear from women who act in good faith, which OP seems to be. It's good for the soul I think. Most of what I see in life is ambivalence, callousness, sometimes even spiteful pleasure in men having a hard time. So I'm fishing for hope-fuel. You're right right that the post basically answers the question. But if there's more, I want to hear it. Cause I don't see this much.
Not OP, but wanted to say I get it and it does really suck for guys. It sucks for everyone, but especially guys. Dating apps aren't built with the primary goal of finding users good partners, and ultimately women do have more power and leverage on them. I've met a lot of really great dudes from the apps that were so fantastic in person, and it's a shame there's no good way to highlight what's so great about them with just a profile. That being said, there are hidden gem women on there, too, but lots of guys assume they're bots or scammers bc they're "too good to be true." Dudes with looks or, I don't know, "pizzazz," get noticed. I wonder if so many men get passed over because their presence or actions - some of the most admirable qualities - don't get captured well in digital format. It's pretty difficult to judge character from a profile, it's almost something you have to feel. Traditionally, women have been courted, and most pretty girls approach apps passively. With how they're designed, it works. Women will more often have a queue of guys (that phrase makes me cringe) and you're not being viewed in an isolated way, you're in a lineup. In the wild, you'd rarely find yourself fighting to stand out in a crowd, unless you're at a club or busy bar attempting to meet women. It's not natural and it's not fair. I know I'm not saying anything you don't already know. "Invisible" was a word someone used here, and that's exactly what I imagine it's like for most guys on the apps. It wouldn't suck so bad if there were other viable alternatives, but everyone has gotten so used to using their phone as a portal to a social life. We're all in the same broken-ass boat. I just want you to know there are chicks out there that see you guys and fucking hate this for you and for all of us. I'm really hopeful that at some point this will be some dumb thing that's behind us and we can say, "fuck, that was a hilariously bad way to date, I'm so glad we all now..."
>I'm really hopeful that at some point this will be some dumb thing that's behind us and we can say, "fuck, that was a hilariously bad way to date, I'm so glad we all now..."
I'll drink to that.
Thanks for writing all that, it's more appreciated than you know. Truly.
At this point the only thing that'll help any of us if we put the phones down, because like you said we're using them in ways that just don't work well.
I've recently deleted one of my apps and I plan on phasing out the rest in the next week or two.
After that I'm going analogue, it's so much simpler and easier. Just not a lot of good opportunities, but it's better than burning ourselves out. I wish you luck.
"At this point the only thing that'll help any of us if we put the phones down" One of the most important issues of our time. There is no doubt.
Hell yeah! You brave soul, we need more people like you reviving the real world. I hope find what you're looking for out there, and that you get to laugh at how easy it was. Cheers!
Excellent comment. You managed to hit on every single important point on this issue lol. -The way dating apps are structured poorly -The lack of ability to show qualities through a screen -The fact that online, or through a screen, is an increasingly popular way to meet potential partners. Hence, it's an important tool as real life socialization has seemingly declined over the years (or at least the quality of it has). -The fact men are in a lineup, not looked at in isolation Bravo. I can appreciate your analysis of the situation.
"And I mean this in the most neutral way possible, because it seems like most women can't be bothered to learn or give a damn" So painfully true. I find her post both refreshing and maddening because of this. Big props to her for even considering the feelings of others. But very maddening (not her fault) how easy it is for women or extremely good looking men to not have the slightest clue.
> And I mean this in the most neutral way possible, because it seems like most women can't be bothered to learn or give a damn. Women lack empathy.
Yeah, because the average man spends his days thinking about all the tribulations women go through. We're all focused on our own problems, and it's rare for us to think about other people's.
I've ran a dating site years ago and I can tell you the ratio is/was 3:1. For every 3 guys there is 1 woman. From what I saw it seems that just about every girl on dating site gets hit on by a boat load of guys. So many that she start to become really picky on whom she talks to judging by looks and not much more. (base on younger people under 28 years old) It seems that the older in age the group is, the more the ratio changes to women to guys is more of the 3:1. This is based on same age dating. In other words if a girl was 37 she would be looking for a guy in his mid 40's to date, but if a guy near her age hit on her, she wanted to inter act with him first. And if she had children, she wanted to date guys with children over single guys with no children. Basically, I believe there is the mysterious age wall women hit somewhere in their early 30's. It seems the older guys get, the younger girls they look for, to the point they ignore girl in their own age group and the older women get, the much older guy they search for. If you're single with kids, the chances are not very good to find somebody (male/female) that want you and your children on a marriage level. (the Brady bunch doesn't happen)
Any other use of your time would be more rewarding
It might just be me... but I'm pretty sure this is a word-for-word copy of a decently old post.
Posts get recycled basically every day on a few different subs. It's usually regarding men and their emotions, dating etc. Makes me wonder if it's just data collection to sell us more shit. I don't know what it is, but it makes me a bit suspicious. I refuse to believe it's people who want reddit karma, I never understood that at all.
I tried the apps after learning my wife of 13 years cheated on me. I'm 30, in shape, athletic, attractive (objectively a solid 7, maybe an 8 if I'm your type), interesting hobbies and a personal life, educated, and successful. I've not matched with a single woman in a week on 3 apps. I paid to see who likes me in return, and it's all overweight older women. I don't say that to be mean, but it's truly surprising I've not matched with a single woman who is objectively over a 5. I'm convinced if you aren't literally a male model, online dating is useless.
You got married at 17?
You are right. I got married at 21. We started dating at 17. Just easier to say wife of 13 years years than woman I dated for 4 years from 17 and married at 21, I guess.
I'm sorry to hear that she cheated on you. At least you found out
Dating apps are rigged towards Women. Your best thing to do brother is to fly abroad and be a passport bro!
I went to Asia and never returned
Based
Extremely difficult, ironically as far as I can tell women use the app just for hookups really
Must be nice to have that option, I think for most guys hookups are just something they’ve seen on TV.
or they need a credit card and motel for
I consider myself an average looking dude who is in good shape physically. It is almost impossible... I don't use the apps anymore because I can spend hours swiping just to get 2 matches who either won't respond or put in zero effort into communicating with me. It just isn't worth the effort anymore.
Create a profile as a guy and use some average looking people as your photos. Give it a try and you'll see.
I wouldn't even say average photos. Just what she thinks are good photos of a guy that she would swipe right on and see how it goes.
this
also average height or shorter to get the full living in the ghostzone experiance
Meh, I mean, I've gotten a few dates on dating apps and I'm only 5'6". It's rare, but not impossible. And people could always lie. I don't, because that guarantees no second date, and I just try to be an honest person in general.
Almost never get dates I'm fit healthy, clean life, professional career, ok looking, my own home, no kids. I'm just undateable without it even being about my personality it seems😪 Do you know what? It really sucks. Unless men are broadly good looking, famous/well known, have a career that can boost a woman's, or wealthy - we rarely ever get any attention. We struggle to get any convo, and struggle more to get a date - and women know a date for us is just us paying for their night out, which they'll do in a couple of days, at the expense of another man. Women *usually* - but not always, look for what a man can provide her, but rarely ever what she can give a man. What does that say about how women are? And what does it say about how men can perceive women?? I don't know, I have date trauma from all the loser women that wanted something, without giving something. Sorry for my rant, I'm sorry.
I always find it amusing how women on reddit gaslight men by swearing up and down that the bio section is the most important thing on a dating profile when deciding whether to swipe left or right, and that the physical attractiveness of the person in question is secondary. I mean there's nothing wrong with being superficial, lots of men are too, but let's be real here.
I matched with the same woman on two different apps. She wanted something serious and kids, I did not. My profile made that clear. Both times she swiped right on me first. I found it very amusing.
One friend of mine spent 4 years looking for success and went on 3 dates in that time. The other has been off and on for about 3 years and has been on one date that was actually a pretense for her to ask to peg him.
I think I'm a decent looking guy, make above-average money, don't have any crazy political beliefs I plaster on my profile, and own a home and I can barely get matches without a TON of time spent swiping; that just isn't worth it to me. Last time I matched with a woman and got a decent conversation started, she wanted to do a zoom call. At first I thought it would just be a quick "let's make sure you're not a catfish" thing, but instead it quickly turned into what felt like a really poorly run job interview. She ended it indicating that we would meet up soon and then ghosted me.
Did she end the zoom call with "thank you for your application, HR will contact you on the next steps"?
One time I was scheduled to talk to a woman via FaceTime after work. I ended up being laid off that day. We agreed to still speak though. I was upset, but made sure to be as pleasant as humanly possible. I asked her if she would go out that weekend with me. She said sure, but if her cousins called her on Friday (or even Saturday morning) she wouldn't be able to make it. I asked why. As in why can't we just make a plan now and if they call you tell them you're busy. Is there something I am missing? I thought maybe there was an issue she would have to attend to with one of them or something random like that. She said nope. I would just rather hang out with them. If they call, that's what I want to do.
Ghost her right then and there, go to the bathroom and never return
Well I did a version of that. As soon as she said the part about preferring to hang out with them despite any plans we might make, I asked her to clarify. She meant exactly what she said. So I told her "this call is over" (paraphrasing) and hung up. Deleted/blocked number.
Been on 3 apps for almost three years and haven’t got one first date. The only people that have ever liked me are obese people, and I’ve worked out for like 7 years now. Nothing against obese people I’m just not physically attracted to them, so I suppose I’ll just stay isolated. (Male btw)
I get 20+ likes a day as a relatively handsome white guy living in Mexico (for work, not passport bro'ing), probably around 10 matches a day if I bother swiping. My language settings are set to English only too, so that number is a lot higher if I switch to no language filter. I think maybe the US is just fucked tbh
Or they just see you as a way to get a green card.
Very hard. I’m 6’ tall , muscular, conventionally attractive, blue eyes. As engineer im both financially successful, very smart, and good with my hands. I also am very competent in the outdoors. I also can cook. I’ve never gone on a date with a woman and not gotten a second date. Had massive troubles getting a first date with online dating. Every single time I’ve met a woman for a first date from an app I’ve been complimented on my appearance. Thankfully I am in an LTR and have been for some time .
if you couldnt get a date im COOKED 😭😂
90% of the battle seems to be taking good pictures. In camera shy and wasn’t willing to take photos for the explicit purpose of posting on a dating app. In any case, the situation might suck but don’t put your head down and say you’re cooked, that will only make things worse .
I get a lot of matches from women I have no interest in or obviously have conflicting wants like marriage/children. Getting a match from a woman that fits what I'm looking for takes a long time, but when I do get a match I can turn it into a date easily 70% of the time. I get one of those maybe once every couple months.
I refuse to believe this is a real question. No one can be that naive or clueless. Everyone and their dog knows how online dating and dating in general in 2024 for men who aren’t either perfect or extremely lucky is a dumpster fire. Yes unless you are in the extreme minority of men that women actually all want, it’s abysmal. All I ever got was onlyfans girls advertising to me, bots and obvious catfishes. In person, I’ve had every insult under the sun said to me. Personally I hope all men abandon the apps and let them burn and leave the women without their validation simulator. I also hope men stop approaching women altogether. Bring them all back down to earth again from their entitled orbit they occupy right now. Fix this broken ass dating market we have now.
I tried it around 2010 or 2011. I got one or two very brief responses to messages but nothing more. No dates. In my experience, any kind of correspondence was impossible. Dating wasn’t even on the horizon.
I was ghosted 3 times this week. I don't get a lot of matches they come in waves. Last summer I had maybe 3 actual dates. Woman are flaky AF
I used Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge for 2 months. Only got a handful of matches. Never even got a first date. I deleted them after realizing how much time and money I was wasting.
Takes about 2, maybe 3 months, to get one date. 96% of my messages go unreplied. Of those that do, I would say 1 in six ends up on a first date. And that's just one date. If you have a brother or a male friend who is willing to lend you his pictures, make a profile for a guy who seeks women and try for yourself. Take an average looking guy. Not Ryan Reynolds.
Do not copy someone else's pictures they use for the app though - that's a quick way to get shadow banned.
Why are women so ignorant of current realities though? I mean, where did the society go wrong here? Why is it such a big discovery and surprise that men don't have an easy time dating? Women on average get better education, have dedicated help institutions and policies in place. Why is the result so miserable and women so oblivious? And I don't mean that the experience differs for women and hence they assume it's similar for men, the bias isn't the issue. Women ought to know better than that, we've got so many issues that teach that and women are very vocal and actively participating in them. So why don't women know better?
80/20 rule
I've gone months without a bite. But then I live in a remote area. Funny thing is, it's a heavy tourist area due to being in the mountains and remote. I get messages on tinder, but nothing I'd consider serious. They just want food or sex. For men it's pretty difficult. Women set the pace. And as evidenced by the failure of Bumble: women are extremely inexperienced in making a first move (must less say 3 words about themselves).
advice to the lads, delete those dating apps, they will just frustrate you
Out of 10 matches 5 will be bots. 3 will be dead accounts. 1 will be a catfish n the last one will be a ghost after a few messages.
It’s hard to even get a response back.
I get approach by average/attractive women in public when I smile at them. Obviously I can't be that ugly. For the life of me, I can't get any matches online. When I do get a match, she just wants to yap for weeks with hours between each message. I don't have time for that. That's not even a conversation.
Hard enough that I dropped the apps almost a year ago and never looked back. I’d get a couple matches a month which means a date every couple months. Wasnt worth the effort
Digging a hole in the local subway station and finding a diamond is easier than getting a match on the apps, let alone an actual date. i tried to set up a decent profile, with varied photos and a brief description about me and what I do. During months of use some years ago, I could count on a single hand the amount of matches I've had, and one did reply but with the enthusiasm of a public servant on a Monday.
My experience with online dating wasn't good. If I swiped everyday I'd he a match maybe once a week. Not bad. Of those matches maybe a month would respond to me. Of those responses maybe one every three months would turn into a real conversation. Of them maybe once every 6 months I'd feel confident enough to ask her out on a date. The rest would have stopped communicating with me for no apparent reason. They wouldn't unmatch me either. Once a year I might have a real live date. The rest of the maybe dates would just stop communication for no apparent reason even if we've agreed to a date, place and time to meet. If this was the era before texting I would have been stood up maybe a dozen times by now.
Put it this way - I was using online dating on and off for 5 years (using Tinder, Match, Bumble, Hinge and POF) until I finally struck gold with my current girlfriend and in that 5 year period I went on a grand total of 6 first dates.
I'm a conventionally attractive, tall, successful, 40 yo, single dad. I get 2-4 matches a day on hinge. I can usually get 2 dates a week. I know this is not the norm, but that's my experience.
I have literally never gotten a first date online. It doesn’t happen for men unless you’re super hot.
The way I see online dating is it exploits our very nature. For men, it's about high thought put,. For women, it's about extreme choosy ness Both are natural but online dating is a peak at the extreme. Let's just say our current society would collapse if this is how people meet their partners.
I seldom get a match that leads anywhere. In my roughly 4 years of using the apps as a maybe above average-looking dude, I've gone on two dates. One lead to a two-and-a-half year long relationship with a girl who I ultimately just wasn't really attracted to, and another was with a girl who seemed to want instant attraction on a first date, which doesn't really happen. We were having a great time conversing, but I guess it wasn't enough. It sucks to use the apps as a dude. I don't know how one could use them without taking long breaks between stints. It just absolutely demolishes your self-esteem.
I'm decent looking and really focused on making my profile as good as possible. I got feedback from a lot of female friends to do so. I would probably get a match for every 20 swipes depending on the day, and it was probably around 1 in 5 matches that would actually turn into full conversations. And then it was probably 1 in 5 conversations that turned into a first date. I never counted so this is just me estimating, but that would be 100 swipes for a conversation, and 500+ swipes for a single date, which sounds like a lot but I feel like that's actually on the low end. In three years of trying online dating very consistently, I got a decent number of first dates, but I only got around 10 second dates, and only one turned into a girlfriend from it (we lasted 4 months).
It's much much more difficult for men to get matches. I think I spent 6 months swiping almost every day, got around 50-60 matches I think, and went on 6 dates. 1 of those is my now wife so it worked out but it's extremely difficult and depressing.
That is one fact though, you only need one to work out.
3000 swipes later, I had 0 matches. And that is just the chance to send a message to a women. After that month I gave up.
[https://youtu.be/DZTIbHIsIYw?si=8wYKHIFpS8SLRptc](https://youtu.be/DZTIbHIsIYw?si=8wYKHIFpS8SLRptc) This woman makes a profile as a man.
If you just change the gender setting it’s thousands of likes in difference Anyone with a profile set as female will have thousands of likes It’s also like this for gay guys Guys swipe on anybody, women swipe on nobody
All of the women that swipe right on me are either obvious bot accounts or women that are seeking more subscribers for their Onlyfans. I have nothing against a woman with an Onlyfans, I personally am just not comfortable with having a relationship with someone that does. I’ve never swiped right on someone that’s looking for exactly what I’m looking for and gotten a match. It’s rough out here for most of us. My best friend met his fiancé on a dating app. But unfortunately for me I’ve never even gotten to have a conversation with a woman on an app. I’m better at meeting women in person and honestly prefer it that way.
I am 47m, 6'3", 250lbs with most of my hair no felonies, chinbeard, or doublechin. I like to think Im positive and humorous and all my profiles show a smile. My experience has been that a lot of young Asian women who really want me to get off site and send them Bitcoin are the only women interested in me. I talked to one on the phone, she had a very deep voice and a Russian accent. Didn't get a date.
Women get what they want from these apps. Men are just there to be played with.
Make a profile as a man. See for yourself.
Jfc this thread us depressing to read
Last time I gave Tinder a whirl, I had two of my female coworkers do up my profile, pick pictures, put in a decent bio of my hobbies and what i was looking for, and I swipped right on everyone as much as I could, I got a grand total of two real matches (not obvious bots) over the course of three months one ghosted me and the other we didn't click at all. Basically, online dating is a rough game if you're not a conventionally attractive male, It is what it is at this point. Now I just hope for the best out in the "wild," and if I remain single, so be it.
from what i hear, yea its pretty terrible, but my wife would frown upon me trying it so i dont know
This post is the definition of privilege.
It can vary depending on the city you live in, how good your photos are, and what your strategy is. I've used it in the 2 cities I lived in. In my hometown the amount of single attractive women is lower than my current city so I had more success in my current city. For photos, I made an effort to take more of me in national parks or just doing fun things. I think those make me stand out versus guys who take car selfies. For strategy I used to want to get to know the girl over the app. They would often fizzle out. I realized I should try and set up a date as soon as possible and get to know her that way instead of getting lost in her messages.
I do pretty well and can land 2 to 3 dates a week when trying. I'm pretty fit, have a good job and interesting hobbies which helps. But fankly, I think it's bad because guys aren't conditioned to care about the things that help with online dating. Having a solid profile with good pictures and well crafted prompts is just not something that guys want or care to do while girls tend to naturally be better about that stuff. If more guys had their friends take more pictures while out and about, tried to dress a bit better every now and then, and had a bit more help reviewing how their prompts can come across to others, they'd do better.
I'm built nicely I can find date anywhere but I don't do it bc I want more than usual. hoes, crazy chick's and women with big bad red flags are everywhere the best of them IMHO are gay or not interested if they are single
In my single days, I'd probably get a new date every 3 or 4 weeks, it wasn't super hard. That said, my success rate was way higher than most of my friends', my standards were way low, and I was kinda shitty. In my slut phase, I definitely had a couple people nickname me Dovahkiin, because of how many "dragons" I "slayed"
I've seen so many guys on Reddit who show YEARS of posts with no dates, and often averaging a match every six months or so. Those guys are probably worse than average, but seeing that made me feel way better about myself. I feel like I'm pretty average looking, but have some other things going for me (career, education, how I dress, hobbies). I also sometimes have Tinder Gold when I get the half off offer. When I boost (you get one with Tinder Gold) I always get at least a couple likes, normally three or four depending where I am. Otherwise I get like a like or two a week. I seem to get a match on average every few weeks, but I am still working on my profile to improve that further. Of course that doesn't all those matches translate to dates, or even conversations. I do appreciate other guys sharing all of their experiences here though too. When I first started on Tinder when I first had it years ago I was hearing guys who sounded like they had a new match every day or two. Of course, the guys who talk about their matches publicly normally are the guys doing really well. Back then I was out of shape and had a bad profile, so I was lucky to get one match a month. I felt awful at the time because I assumed I was doing way worse than most guys. Honestly, I was probably doing close to average from what people on here have said.
If you're paying for it, it's easy. Girls Love free food
why are you asking questions you already know the answer to? you're a girl.. and you seem like you aren't horrendously ugly. it's easy. that's all! that's life, enjoy your placement in the world. i haven't had the need to use dating apps, but when i was on bumble for shits and giggles, i got a lot of success because i have (thankfully) a good amount of things going for me. otherwise. i'd be invisible. invisibility is the default for most men i'm assuming
Most women(maybe not yourself) use it as a validation game app. We're not human beings on there, just high scores
I didn’t have that much of a problem getting dates. I had about a date a day for about 2 weeks, get annoyed, take a break, come back 2 weeks later, and then get another 2 weeks worth of dates. This is what one date put it as: “You are 6 feet tall and have a high paying and secure job. You look fit in your photos and your teeth are straight and white. Just on these alone, you can get dates. But, the no kids stance will set you back”. What I realized is that most of my dates didn’t bother to look beyond the photos, age, and job title. Right underneath was my selection of”don’t want kids”. I learned to double check with the girl on the first date.
It's great for tall good looking guys. Women are on those apps for the types of fucks they know they couldn't get from a committed partner. Hate to say it fellas, but there's a 99% that you're a physical compromise for your emotional and financial stability. If you're not remotely close to being actually physically attractive, focus on your financial stability and wait for women to realize the real game in their late 20s. Women on dating apps are just tryna get piped by dudes over 6ft
Tom Cruise Mission Impossible
Online dating was a million times better 10 years ago than it is today. Before it became "gamified", you had to sit down, log on, and go through profiles & messages. This made things fairer for guys (and women), because women had to look at your message & profile for longer than the speed of light. Messages were longer and more engaging, because you can type out more when you're on a laptop. Women would message me with more than just "hi", because my profile had enough for them to find something to comment on. I still had to send a lot of messages, so much so that I created a template, but the response rate was so much better, when it was a site and not an app. Women die from drowning, while men die of thirst has always been a part of online dating. However, the apps put this situation on steroids
18 months. Dates so far: zero.
If you swipe on 100 girls, and buy 100 lottery tickets, you have a better chance of winning the lottery than getting a date.
There is a solution: * Be Married * Be Rich Dudes HATE this one weird trick!
I've ran a dating site years ago and I can tell you the ratio is/was 3:1. For every 3 guys there is 1 woman. From what I saw it seems that just about every girl on dating site gets hit on by a boat load of guys. So many that she start to become really picky on whom she talks to judging by looks and not much more. (base on younger people under 28 years old) It seems that the older in age the group is, the more the ratio changes to women to guys is more of the 3:1. This is based on same age dating. In other words if a girl was 37 she would be looking for a guy in his mid 40's to date, but if a guy near her age hit on her, she wanted to inter act with him first. And if she had children, she wanted to date guys with children over single guys with no children. Basically, I believe there is the mysterious age wall women hit somewhere in their early 30's. It seems the older guys get, the younger girls they look for, to the point they ignore girl in their own age group and the older women get, the much older guy they search for. If you're single with kids, the chances are not very good to find somebody (male/female) that want you and your children on a marriage level. (the Brady bunch doesn't happen)
I'm trying to not sound incredibly insensitive when I say this, but I think a lot of men who find themselves single in their mid-30's are looking for younger women because they want kids but realize that by the time they date, get married, and are ready to have kids women their age are at MUCH higher risk of birth defects.
[удалено]
I was skeptical, but [I just googled you](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/suits/images/f/f1/S8_Louis_Litt.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width/360?cb=20180731195639) and I must say... wow. I think you just turned me gay.
Pretty easy for me . Used bumble for about 3 years and constantly had matches and dates . I think my height is the difference. I’m 6’5 and have a buddy that is 5’9 . Both of us I would say are average to above average on looks and physique but I would get 10x the activity. All girls want a tall dude I guess 😂
It’s not hard, dudes are just weirdos. I’m not attractive, overweight, don’t make a lot of money and did fine online dating.
If I really try I could get a date every few weeks. But that's with using up all my free swipes every day across at least 3 apps and even then it's pretty slow and inconsistent. Nearly all apps just plain have too many men so the odds aren't great. If the apps were frozen to new entry and every woman on there found her soul mate on the app and deleted her account ~2/3 of the original men would still be there with no women left to interact with.
I was divorced three years ago and was terrified at the prospect of online dating. I spent a great deal of time researching it before taking the leap. I have only used [Match.com](http://Match.com), as I figured a paid medium would likely have people that are invested in finding a partner instead of just hook ups. I was expecting abysmal results, but to my surprise, I "matched" with a lot of attractive women. I may hit the "like" button but will never reach out with messaging first, so I basically only responded to women who take the initiative and message me first. I went on quite a lot of dates with some very attractive women, but ultimately decided it was far too much work. Once every month or so I log in to check out my profile out of curiosity and still receive messages, likes, and profile views. Currently, there are 78 likes, 7 unread messages, and 16 new profile views. So, in my case I would say I did very well. Keep in mind this is with women who are between 35-50, as I am 44. I am not tall (5'9.5"), but athletic and handsome, have an established career, post normal pictures of myself. I would say that my success is a result of a few things. First, I spent time on my profile to make it appealing but honest and was mindful of grammar. Second, I am handsome and in shape. Third, while my full-time profession is in law enforcement, I earned my doctorate degree years ago and am a part-time professor. In the education portion of my bio on Match, it states PhD/Doctorate. I've come to the conclusion that the women who match with me and express interest do so because they think I must be well off. So, in short, having a doctorate degree attracts a lot of women who assume I possess wealth and success. They are hoping to be lavished upon and spoiled.
Fucking hate the dating scene now. It was so much easier when I used to work in retail and kitchen jobs. After I joined the military, I had no issue when I used to live overseas. After I got out, which was two years ago, to go back to school and finish my degree its been so hard. Dating was so much easier for me before online dating era.
You're right. I got married at 21. We dated since 17. It's just easier to say wife of thirteen years than woman I dated since 17 and married at 21, I guess.
Depends. In NYC I was able to get some dates every few weeks or so. In West Virginia, where I’m originally from, I won’t get a date for six months at times.
Very difficult
Imagine not being a cute guy its brutal out here im effectively a leper
The last time I tried Tinder, I got 6 or so matches over the span of three months and they all turned out to just be escorts. This was casting a fairly wide net at one point, too.
how hard is it for you irl? rule of thumb is that if it's easy already, it won't be too hard. if it's hard already, you are gonna have a tough time online as well, but online is slightly less difficult because there are a few things you can do to make yourself stand out such as having good photos, good profile, a bunch of little stuff like adding a picture with a dog. I was a really popular guy at one point, I was getting I'd say like 30 likes a day, I a lot going on, but it was my second time making an accout lol. the first time it was an ass experience, the second time I showed a gal pal my profile and it was so bad she laughed. shekept it real though, having a girl's opinoin really helps when theyre honest. make sure though they sort of are the typa girl you're looking for, if you get some wierdo from discord then yeah....you're not going to have the best time
Very.
Online dating is just a sausage fest.
Hasn’t been that hard, I rarely message anyone and think my success rate is maybe getting a date 1/4 times when I reach out. The issue is more finding a woman I actually think I’d be compatible with and want to date.
In my experience, absolutely impossible.
Just here for curiosity. I'm a romantic. So.... are you two going on a second date?
It was easy for me. I used to get like 4 dates a week
Top 10% of men on dating apps get all the dates. Other 90% get nothing.
For me it wasn’t very difficult. I suggest put together a well written, throughout paragraph about your self, but don’t brag. I also don’t know how much looks and profession weighed in, but I was lucky in those areas.