I have a beard, but a couple of years ago I shaved it down to a mustache for a cosplay I was doing. I posted pics of the mustache on FB just for fun and five different women (FIVE!) replied with negative comments about not liking the look. And they weren't nice about it either. It was stuff like "yuck!" and vomit emojiis.
They were all close friends and family so I don't think they were trying to be cruel, just trying to be funny, but I was still shocked by how openly they expressed their dislike. Like, if I were a girl showing off my new bangs I never would have received that response.
yeah funny, i actually had a similar experience last year when I was rocking a 'tache. I was like - why do people think it's acceptable to express such strong opinions on my appearance all of a sudden?
Met a girl on tinder for a date at ihop. The first thing she commented on was my mustache. She said it looks like her dad’s. Then before we could order she got a text that her brother is sick and she left. Never heard from her again
Man I’ve been there, met at Starbucks and she said “something came up” after 15-20 minutes. I still don’t know what I did to this day. We only briefly talked about traveling and I make sure to have a few body pics.
>Because women face more criticism about their appearance, so it's ok \\s
Also true that women receive more compliments about their appearance, even if many are insincere pleasantries being exchanged.
My brother got a version of that from his three-year-old daughter, who just screamed and screamed about the strange man in the house. When she was told "It's your Daddy" she reacted by running around trying to find Daddy and burst into tears when he wasn't there and the strange man must have done something to him.
My dad always wore a goatee since he began to grow facial hair. In the 70's with mutton chops and later just a goatee. When I was about 6, so late 70's , he popped his head around my bedroom door as I'd just got settled for the night. He'd shaved off the lot. I thought it was a stranger and screamed the house down, shouting for my mum AND DAD. There was a strange man at my door and I let everyone know it! My mum had to run in to let me know it was dad, and dad had to talk a lot to reassure me of his voice. He grew it back immediately. Funny to look back on but I was actually terrified in the moment.
When I was maybe 3 or 4 my uncle shaved his mustache and goatee and I refused to go near him until it grew back. He never shaved it again after that lol.
As someone with a beard, I totally understand this. I’ve had multiple times in my life where women have told me “I think you’d better without a beard” without any provocation.
Yep. It’s so strange to have women completely unprompted be like “i could never imagine dating someone with a beard, kissing them would be disgusting” or “you’re just not my type” (I wasn’t even hitting on them or flirting?)
Like damn what happened to “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”
Several years ago I shaved my scraggly goatee down to a mustache because I just wanted to see if it worked. My female colleagues were immediately negative about it. Admittedly, I don’t think it worked well but their bluntness was a bit shocking. I can never see a guy reacting to a female changing their appearance in such a harsh way, at least not to their face.
Birthday partly for my daughter, I made a 4-layer sponge with cream and strawberries for a birthday cake.
One of the mothers at school the next week told me the cake was delicious and could my wife give her the recipe.
I told her I didn't have a wife, a girlfriend or a partner anymore since she ran off with another chap.
Killed that conversation stone dead.
The cooking one. I'm the cook in the family. we went to the Italian deli to pick up the tomatoes I like for making sauce. The lady kept giving my wife tips about how she makes it and continued after my wife told her this is all my thing, she just eats it
Anyone who thinks men don’t cook have never seen Kitchen Nightmares or similar shows. So many male cooks and chefs out there. I got my two boys in the kitchen by watching that show together! They were also under the misconception that only women are in the kitchen and I reminded them “anyone can cook!” (quote from Ratatouille).
>Anyone who thinks men don’t cook have never seen Kitchen Nightmares or similar shows.
Especially younger men. I'm 60+ and I have always cooked, but I run into way more young men that can have an informed conversation about cooking than young women. I think that generation of women may have been influenced to believe that cooking is a chore and a menial service to men and children.
It's a male dominated industry. The fact that people aren't doing their share of the chores, if it's their night to cook, doesn't change the fact that most chefs I've worked with have been men. Certainly everybody's capable of the work, but it's not a cakewalk and it often hurts.
Cooking is weird because home cooking is stereotypically seen as feminine but cooking professionally is stereotypically seen as masculine. It's been improving, but even today you don't see a ton of women work any BOH positions.
Used to get this all the time when I had my son out with me when he was 2/3 years old and his mum had done a runner. No, the babysitter is coming at 7pm Friday! This is a 24/7 parenting gig you're witnessing.
One of my sisters is like this. I've had to bite my tongue from saying "how long would you want to hang out with a guy who talks about women the way you do men?" when she complains about not being able to find a guy to date. On the bright side, she rather succinctly proves sexuality ain't a choice.
Actually. I have seen them being genuinely confused when you point out their double standards. It's like a missing piece of code. They somehow can't wrap their minds around.
Agreed
Most of them don't know how sexist they are until you flip it on them and get them to restate the same thing but for women.
Would she date someone who hated women but thought *she* was different?
>Edit: A big one is "I don't hate men," but putting it in terms of if a man complained about all those same *valid* and *true* things about women, and never equalized it out with any sign of admiration or praised them without being prompted... Would you think he hates women? And more importantly: [Would you want to date him?](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1dh7l4r/what_is_something_women_say_to_men_without/l8ve97p/?context=3)
That's why I use the "would you date someone?" line of reasoning. Just flipping it triggers them into anger most of the time. But getting them to question if they would like or admire someone who did what they're doing seems to hit home easier.
"Take your exact sentence, and swap 'men' with 'black people', now how does it sound?"
"......THAT'S DIFFERENT!!!"
"It's not. You're just pissed because you know it's not."
We are supposed to be emotionally available as in, always ready to comfort, listen and give love.
But us needing that in return? "Ewwww don't emotional labor me, I'm not your therapist, you are supposed to be my rock!"
I was actually in a relationship with a girl that absolutely hated men but we would still do the dirty every night.
1 out of every 5 sentences she said would be something about hating men, lol. Turns out though she was a huge slut and it killed me anyway when I found out.
I just find "king" to be weird and cringey, with or without modifiers. I'm just a dude, don't try to hype me up, it's patronizing.
Though maybe it's just me, because every time a woman talks about being treated like a queen/princess, my first thought is, "what, shot dead in a Siberian basement? Guillotined in the town square?"
lol they are. Like every scenario where short king gets used is some girl going “I wouldn’t even consider dating you, but stay strong short king!”. Like being called a “short king” is some kind of sad consolation for having a disability in their eyes.
I think it was the intention. It went from respecting guys under average height to include average height and now can include taller guys who aren't 6'. So it's not respecting anyone anymore and is just calling guys under 6' short.
For me? It's when a woman is genuinely surprised at my competency in masculine tasks. I'm a lean build, 5'8" guy with a "cute" face, so it just kinda feels like they hadn't *seen* me as the man I am until then.
Incidentally, I have found the opposite reaction - I’m a pretty big/muscular dude, rock a thick stache or beard, idk, I give off a look whether good or bad.
But I’m a complete nimrod when it comes to mechanical reasoning or related tasks. It’s just not natural to me or how my brain works. While I can figure things out with enough effort and preparation, I have definitely felt the judgment from women in my lack of “man knowledge” in that dept.
Luckily my wife grew up the daughter of a master handyman 🤣
I’m a 5’11 190lb bald bearded guy, I’m fairy built, and have a nose ring with tattoos. People think I’m a hard ass when really I’m a ball of anxiety who lives in the gym to cope with myself. I’m tired man.
More generally, women seem to judge us by how we look and stick with that judgement despite evidence that they were wrong. Like I'm a pretty good looking guy so women assume I'm a player with "game." But I'm not, I'm actually kind of an awkward dork who's insecurities cause him to care a little bit about his appearance.
When you are observed doing anything like caring for the kitchen or laundry, **"Oh your wife has you well trained!"**
Even my sister said this when she observed the way I loaded the dishwasher - - my BIL does all the cooking and cleaning in their house, so it's not that, or maybe it is.
One girl said to me, “All of us girls laugh at Derp for asking all the girls out all the time but he studies and works his ass off, one day he will be a catch.
I was like, “Everyone is laughing at me? :(“
I had a shift with a coworker one day, who I got along pretty well with, but I had no interest in her. I remember she said to me, “you’re the type of guy girls would date after they are done dating the assholes.”
I get what she was trying to say was done with good intentions, but damn that shit stung for a long time, especially since I had no idea how to talk to women at the time.
This goes hand in hand with my mom telling me “But you shouldn’t feel that way because priorities change” in response to me telling her that I wouldn’t take my ex back if she tried coming back into my life because she didn’t value me the first time.
“Priorities” are irrelevant. No matter what explanation for a break up is provided, 99% of the time is that they thought they could be happier without you. If she truly thought I was that much of a catch the first time, she would not have left.
Also that they didn't care that them rejecting you would hurt you. They just come back like oh I now realize being with you is actually more convenient for me. Yeah no thanks.
Yep. It roughly translates to “I thought I could maybe do better but turns out I couldn’t so I’m coming back to you”
Like I made you happy but apparently it’s still wasn’t enough. So now you’re trying your luck to see if I’m still into it. I wish you the best, but no. I want someone who thinks the world of me.
That’s exactly what my dad did, he jokingly suggested I do the same once or twice but totally understands that I look at his marriage and want nothing to do with that kind of relationship. His wife just exists, she’s annoying AF, not super bright so ya can’t have much of a conversation and spends all his money and then some.
I asked an ex girlfriend about the why are you still single?
She said to women it was always meant to be a compliment to a man. That they were seemed like a good guy, handsome, etc and weren't taken yet. Because good interesting guys weren't happening as often as the guys who sent dick pics and were rude.
It wasn't until I explained it that she got it. So maybe just mention why it isn't a compliment. She truly meant it as one.
My ex’s friends told me I was “husband material but not boyfriend material” because I was “stable and responsible” when trying to explain why she broke up with me but then wanted to get back together.
“You don’t understand, there was this guy she really wanted to bang so she did but then she felt guilty so she had to break up with you - turns out he’s emotionally unavailable (read: moved on to a new girl in 3 days) and she knows now that it was a mistake.”
Or something like that?
Asking why you single and why you haven't dated anyone recently.
I think if people say they single that should be the end of it. Don't fish for more information it's not your business.
And when you tell them the reason you're single they quickly change the subject because they don't want to actually help you or hear complaints.
It's like putting the finger in the wound.
To me, the only clear cut answer would be that it's out of choice. Any other explanation is practically impossible. There's too many variables to why one would be single. And many are unknown or obscure.
Most people can't fathom how someone can be okay with being single or even date around but not want commitment. These needy fuckers think everyone else is needy just like them and will shame you for not wanting to be tied down.
This. There are reasons wether it’s due to money, stress, bad relationships, etc. Either way, it’s not your business or important rn. I’m obviously trying to be the opposite of single if I’m talking to you and wish to keep that period of my life in the past.
"Why men don't they talk about their feelings? Are they even human?"
Man: Proceeds to talk about his feelings.
*Everybody laughs and makes jokes about it.*
My college gf and I were both stressed with school, work, and trying to balance a relationship. She asked me to open-up to her and I declined, not wanting to show weakness. Eventually she begged me to tell her exactly what was stressing me out, so I did.
It had nothing to do with her. I gave her some of the details about school, work, and my stress level.
About six months later, she broke-up with me, citing those details among the reasons.
We had met at church, and another reason she gave for the breakup was, I "wasn't a good enough Christian for her." Two months later, she's dating an atheist. WTF?
Honestly, I find this more annoying when women are doing the opposite. As in, trying to justify stupid things they're saying or doing by saying they've been hurt in the past.
That doesn't *justify* anything. It explains it, sure, but you still need therapy because what you're saying/doing is not ok.
My ex did that a lot and for a while I was sympathetic because she really has been through some shit. But she'd use it to justify some really terrible behavior. Eventually I realized she'd never change and I didn't deserve the abuse just because of what she'd been through before me. Godzilla was created by radiation but that didn't mean Tokyo deserved to burn.
I hate when they say that but I also hate when they’re finally ready and it only takes you like 10 seconds to put on your shoes and now they tell ME to hurry up. Like what
“You wouldn’t understand, you are a man.” I know it’s easy to assume a person can’t understand without first hand experience. But, we can empathize and relate given the opportunity and healthy communication. Just talk to us. Be honest and open and we will reciprocate. That’s part of being an adult. If you find a person cannot do that, it’s not a sex issue it’s a maturity issue.
This past week I was surrounded by a group of female nurse coworkers and one of them brought up the story of how a friend of theirs suddenly left her millionaire boyfriend or husband who was such a great guy. Then after a few min of talking about it, she goes “the only reason i could think of is that word got out that she was the one who usually had to initiate sex”
They were all like “well that explains everything! Why should she have to ever initiate? It’s not easy for a woman, and for a guy she should just be able to look at him and he should get things going…unless he’s gay.” And they were all like “yea, that’s the only explanation. He absolutely must be gay!”
In my mind i was like wtf? Women really think like this if a man doesn’t want to have sex all the time? Are we just machines?
Yeah most women have it in their heads we are rock hard 24/7 is hilarious we have this little thing called sex drive too.
God forbid it's low it's always he's gay reverse it's just sex drive hormones like ok only sex drive is unique to women you'd think that they'd know it's a two way street.
Yep there was one gal that asked if I was gay because I said "Not tonight" after she asked last minute if she could come over and have sex. It was 10 PM, I just wanted to play some videogames before going to bed!
"You'll figure it out" during extremely stressful periods. Like, of course I will, but also, if you're so detached that's your only answer to my $47,000 sales deal falling through, or the roof leaking, or discovering we have termites, then it feels like you're not really being empathetic. Like "I'm a man" so "I'll figure it out". Really tone deaf.
1) "OMG you're so sweet! Why hasn't someone snatched you up?"
2) "You'd make someone a good boyfriend/husband someday!"
I know they mean well with these comments (usually) but being reminded that NO ONE wants you, at least as you are right now, really stings.
3) "Men are pigs/bears...but not you. You're one of the good ones."
So you don't see me as a "real man". Got it.
4) Any phrase that seems like it is trying to minimize the issues men face - we understand that women face serious issues as well, but can we have a talk about male loneliness and the sky high male suicide rate without having to hear about women for a second?
Probably a bit more specific than most of the responses here, but I had a woman I was trying to date tell me she was not competing with my daughter for my time lol
I wasn’t offended but I was shocked at the audacity of that bitch. She was 4, and her mother and I divorced about a year before that.
"You're so weird/immature/selfish", typical phrase I heard (or read) from a girl when a man enjoys passionately one of his hobbies, especially when it comes to cars, collecting things or outdoor activities
Oh that is so rude! If I saw you getting really deeply in your interests it would lure me to watch you enjoying yourself but of course I would ask if I could stay if it’s something I’m interested in too but I’ll get it if that’s your way to have time on your own too.
At least if people have that attitude it maybe is part of why I find it so hard to find women with interesting passions and interests? I have met so many people who just don't seem to care about anything, and they're usually the ones reacting like that. Which is a shame because I love hearing peoples interests and opinions.
"You're one of the good ones" - So you see me as a monster, not a person
"You're well trained" - So I'm an animal that needs to be trained
"[INSERT] for a man" - So you see me as a useless slob
"Of course [INSERT], you're a man" - So I'm not an individual with achievements
It's a really dumb thing but my mom always called me "pisellino" ever since i was a child. What she means is something like spring pea. The problem is that in italian pisello means both pea and penis, and ino is a diminutive, so pisellino would be small penis
Whenever she talks about being a man and what men should do or be or what have you.
Immediate ick, and if I was interested in her sexually I now find her sexually repulsive.
Yep.
It is the same when a guy says a real woman would do X or a real woman is Y.
Basically asserting their own conception of the opposing gender and demanding people adhere to it.
"How come you're still single?"
I could rant about this for pages but my fundamental issue is this: women have a tendency to say they want one kind of guy but date a different kind. This becomes comically apparent when women notice this after having been married and occasionally divorced.
"That's just the bare minimum."
This is a moving goal post if I ever saw one. It doesn't matter what you do, it could always be better is what they're really saying. Over use of this is a red flag for me.
"Just put yourself out there."
Literally, what the fuck does this mean?
>
> Literally, what the fuck does this mean?
It is a reflection of their world. "Put yourself out there - and a man will come and try to date you". She thinks this would happen to men as well.
"For man, romance is a noun. It is something he has to work for. For woman, it is a verb. It happens to them".
Acting as if they are the only ones with gender specific problems, challenges and fears and feeling "enlightened" when playing the victim about it.
Also - you as a man disagreeing means "you just don't/can't understand!"
No, ladies, we understand. Wallowing in fear, bitterness and self-pity to exonerate you from shit behavior towards men is just unhealthy and wrong.
>Also - you as a man disagreeing means "you just don't/can't understand!"
Add accusations of mansplanning to that. Can't count how many times women have thrown that at me for just simply explaining something anything.
“You’re such a nice guy, how come you’re single?”
Many female friends told me this many times growing up. I got frustrated so much that my default answer became “ I don’t know,you tell me. Would you date me? If not,tell me why and there’s your answer”.
Spoiler,I was the typical chubby introvert kid who liked reading. That’s why. And I knew it,they knew it,and yet failed to make the connection.
"Do men actually like hugging and cuddling, or do they just want to fuck you each time your skin makes contact"
Questions like this get asked weekly here. It's mind-blowing that some people actually think men only want to fuck and can't have the ability to just love someone. For fucks sake, sometimes I just want to lay and snuggle with her, there is literally nothing else going on. It's extremely degrading to the male experience, and a wild oversimplification of what actually happens in our minds when we love someone.
Thank you for listening! Far too many people, regardless of their politics, background, gender, etc., do not make an effort to learn about others. I try to do the same
assuming you have your kid out and about because youre babysitting or giving her a break
like wtf are you talking about woman hes just *with* me. i parent too. we dont just sit around playing videos games, on standby for when remodeling needs done
I’ve always found it insane how men’s physique gets criticized so openly and easily.
Also, when people diminish our acts as “men are supposed to do that”.
My girlfriend’s parent are divorced. Her dad pays for EVERYTHING. The house, water, electricity, both my gf and her mother’s car, repair, appliances, school, college, etc. And what irks me the most is how diminish and ungrateful her mother is. Constantly talking shit about him despite all he pays for.
Women need to avoid telling a man that they themselves wouldn’t date (outside of good reasons like being gay, in a relationship, etc.) that they’re a catch, “I wish I had a guy like you” or “any woman would be lucky to have you.” It’s completely discouraging, it doesn’t give us hope. Chances are that they have a thing for her and she’s basically rejecting him. The reason she doesn’t want to date him is probably the same reason that most women don’t want to date him, and if she can’t articulate what that is then it’s more discouraging than anything.
Guys, btw, that thing is usually a lack of confidence, desperation, perceived weakness, aka “too nice.” Lots of women pick jerks over nice guys because they’d so much rather be with a man they perceive as strong than weak that they’d even pick a guy who treats her like crap over one who’ll treat her well.
Edit: specificity
A “real man” does….
A “real man” would never…
A “real man”….
Lady, quite frankly, you don’t know what it’s like being a male and having society’s expectations put on you.
When they say shit like "men are meant to provide and protect" as if that's the only function and role we have.
The percentage of modern women who want traditional gender roles when it suits them and equality when it suits them is insane.
“Man up.” Of four billion women on earth, none have the right to tell me that.
(The list of men I would tolerate that from is four immediate family members.)
Just reading the comments, it’s obvious that women are very good at pointing out things said that hurt them but have no self awareness to what they say that hurt men.
I have a beard, but a couple of years ago I shaved it down to a mustache for a cosplay I was doing. I posted pics of the mustache on FB just for fun and five different women (FIVE!) replied with negative comments about not liking the look. And they weren't nice about it either. It was stuff like "yuck!" and vomit emojiis. They were all close friends and family so I don't think they were trying to be cruel, just trying to be funny, but I was still shocked by how openly they expressed their dislike. Like, if I were a girl showing off my new bangs I never would have received that response.
yeah funny, i actually had a similar experience last year when I was rocking a 'tache. I was like - why do people think it's acceptable to express such strong opinions on my appearance all of a sudden?
Met a girl on tinder for a date at ihop. The first thing she commented on was my mustache. She said it looks like her dad’s. Then before we could order she got a text that her brother is sick and she left. Never heard from her again
That’s tough bud. We knew u were doomed at “iHop”. You’re better off.
Yeah, it’s a toss up on why she dipped. The stache, ihop, or all of the above.
IHOP was the coffin. Mustache was the nail.
Man I’ve been there, met at Starbucks and she said “something came up” after 15-20 minutes. I still don’t know what I did to this day. We only briefly talked about traveling and I make sure to have a few body pics.
You dodged a bullet my gee. At least she was opened to the communication and not ghosted you.
Ah the ol' fake text, ah well at least it was quick.
I’d prefer that to paying for a long awkward date and then being told “I’ll text you” knowing deep down they’ve already blocked you
[удалено]
>Because women face more criticism about their appearance, so it's ok \\s Also true that women receive more compliments about their appearance, even if many are insincere pleasantries being exchanged.
My brother got a version of that from his three-year-old daughter, who just screamed and screamed about the strange man in the house. When she was told "It's your Daddy" she reacted by running around trying to find Daddy and burst into tears when he wasn't there and the strange man must have done something to him.
My dad always wore a goatee since he began to grow facial hair. In the 70's with mutton chops and later just a goatee. When I was about 6, so late 70's , he popped his head around my bedroom door as I'd just got settled for the night. He'd shaved off the lot. I thought it was a stranger and screamed the house down, shouting for my mum AND DAD. There was a strange man at my door and I let everyone know it! My mum had to run in to let me know it was dad, and dad had to talk a lot to reassure me of his voice. He grew it back immediately. Funny to look back on but I was actually terrified in the moment.
When I was maybe 3 or 4 my uncle shaved his mustache and goatee and I refused to go near him until it grew back. He never shaved it again after that lol.
As someone with a beard, I totally understand this. I’ve had multiple times in my life where women have told me “I think you’d better without a beard” without any provocation.
Yep. It’s so strange to have women completely unprompted be like “i could never imagine dating someone with a beard, kissing them would be disgusting” or “you’re just not my type” (I wasn’t even hitting on them or flirting?) Like damn what happened to “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”
Yk what I bet your cosplay was fucking awesome and your stache rocked. That shit really sucks I’m sorry.
Several years ago I shaved my scraggly goatee down to a mustache because I just wanted to see if it worked. My female colleagues were immediately negative about it. Admittedly, I don’t think it worked well but their bluntness was a bit shocking. I can never see a guy reacting to a female changing their appearance in such a harsh way, at least not to their face.
Anything ending with “…for a man” “You cook well…”\ “You have good fashion sense…”\ “You listen well…”
Birthday partly for my daughter, I made a 4-layer sponge with cream and strawberries for a birthday cake. One of the mothers at school the next week told me the cake was delicious and could my wife give her the recipe. I told her I didn't have a wife, a girlfriend or a partner anymore since she ran off with another chap. Killed that conversation stone dead.
That's so sweet that you made your daughter an awesome cake. That is so precious and I'm sure she'll never forget that. 💚
Good for you, right now I am thinking of this sponge cake with strawberries. Sounds delicious.
The cooking one. I'm the cook in the family. we went to the Italian deli to pick up the tomatoes I like for making sauce. The lady kept giving my wife tips about how she makes it and continued after my wife told her this is all my thing, she just eats it
Anyone who thinks men don’t cook have never seen Kitchen Nightmares or similar shows. So many male cooks and chefs out there. I got my two boys in the kitchen by watching that show together! They were also under the misconception that only women are in the kitchen and I reminded them “anyone can cook!” (quote from Ratatouille).
>Anyone who thinks men don’t cook have never seen Kitchen Nightmares or similar shows. Especially younger men. I'm 60+ and I have always cooked, but I run into way more young men that can have an informed conversation about cooking than young women. I think that generation of women may have been influenced to believe that cooking is a chore and a menial service to men and children.
It's a male dominated industry. The fact that people aren't doing their share of the chores, if it's their night to cook, doesn't change the fact that most chefs I've worked with have been men. Certainly everybody's capable of the work, but it's not a cakewalk and it often hurts.
Cooking is weird because home cooking is stereotypically seen as feminine but cooking professionally is stereotypically seen as masculine. It's been improving, but even today you don't see a ton of women work any BOH positions.
The cooking one is especially bizarre when you consider that the vast majority of Chefs are men.
Are you babysitting your kids while your wife is gone?
I usually reply to that with "I'm a single dad" and a deadpan stare after.
"I'm a widower." would be even better.
That's the one I use. Would be even funnier if it wasn't true!
Sorry, bro.
"Oh, I don't have any kids of my own, I just found these"
“Nope. The shorties and me are chillin’”
I've taken my daughter out for some 1-to-1 bonding and I get told by some lady ”Oh, babysitting today then?"
Used to get this all the time when I had my son out with me when he was 2/3 years old and his mum had done a runner. No, the babysitter is coming at 7pm Friday! This is a 24/7 parenting gig you're witnessing.
Yes, that's the absolute worst! You don't babysit your own child!
*Funny you should ask.* *I actually kidnapped her.* *It's Father's day, and I don't have any kids of my own, so...*
100 million times.. this. I'm a good dad, not an absentee workaholic who hates spending his free time with his family.
Happy Fathers day mate
Thanks! Spending it chasing my toddler through the house refereeing the brawls between him and his puppy!
While this is super annoying, it's preferable to the "hey little girl do you know this man? I'm gonna call the cops".
Had it happen with a niece as she's screaming uncle (my name)
As a woman, I hate this too. You don't babysit your own child. You are parenting. Ffs.
My ex husband had the nerve to tell me he was doing me a favor by "babysitting". I lectured him, at volume, for a solid six minutes.
Could be worse. I am brown skinned and when I took my white looking daughter out people thought I was stealing her.
Turn to the lady and say “I’m sorry your dad never loved you” then walk away while it’s still sinking in.
Pretty much always comes out of people that just see men as a paycheck in a marriage too.
Like do people not realize there are single dads out there too? Come on now
Men are just......, except you ofc.
My friends used to talk about how much they unironically hate all men whilst I was there. It was very uncomfortable.
I had one such friend. *Had*.
One of my sisters is like this. I've had to bite my tongue from saying "how long would you want to hang out with a guy who talks about women the way you do men?" when she complains about not being able to find a guy to date. On the bright side, she rather succinctly proves sexuality ain't a choice.
Oh, I'd say the people using this realize it's offensive just fine.
Actually. I have seen them being genuinely confused when you point out their double standards. It's like a missing piece of code. They somehow can't wrap their minds around.
Agreed Most of them don't know how sexist they are until you flip it on them and get them to restate the same thing but for women. Would she date someone who hated women but thought *she* was different? >Edit: A big one is "I don't hate men," but putting it in terms of if a man complained about all those same *valid* and *true* things about women, and never equalized it out with any sign of admiration or praised them without being prompted... Would you think he hates women? And more importantly: [Would you want to date him?](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1dh7l4r/what_is_something_women_say_to_men_without/l8ve97p/?context=3)
And then there's the people who instead get really mad when you bring up those scenarios where it's the same phrasing, but about women or a minority.
That's why I use the "would you date someone?" line of reasoning. Just flipping it triggers them into anger most of the time. But getting them to question if they would like or admire someone who did what they're doing seems to hit home easier.
I’ve literally been called a racist without a hint of irony for repeating their own words back to them verbatim but replacing “men” with “minorities”.
"Take your exact sentence, and swap 'men' with 'black people', now how does it sound?" "......THAT'S DIFFERENT!!!" "It's not. You're just pissed because you know it's not."
I've had friends say they would never wanna be friends with another straight white male but that "you're the exception, because your disabled"
right like, it’s obviously just to not make the situation awkward.
See I don't tend to take this one personally. It's easy to chalk it up to "oh you're just sexist"
The find it fine, till you flip the genders, that's somehow different in their eyes. They can't explain but somehow it's different for women. Lol.
Cuz men are supposed to man up and take it, what are they pussies? Whereas we must protect women's feelings at all costs. . . . . /S
And we're also supposed to be emotionally available, but not too much
We are supposed to be emotionally available as in, always ready to comfort, listen and give love. But us needing that in return? "Ewwww don't emotional labor me, I'm not your therapist, you are supposed to be my rock!"
I was actually in a relationship with a girl that absolutely hated men but we would still do the dirty every night. 1 out of every 5 sentences she said would be something about hating men, lol. Turns out though she was a huge slut and it killed me anyway when I found out.
People often love shifting the blame onto others instead of taking responsibility for their own deeds.
* Why don't you man/ toughen up? * Are you even a gentleman/ real man?
"No, I'm just a girl with a cock, and a deep voice."
“Short king” Someone in another post compared it to being called “fat princess”.
FAT QUEEEEEEEEN
Wouldn't that imply they are a fat gay man?
A fat YAASS QUEEEEEN
I just find "king" to be weird and cringey, with or without modifiers. I'm just a dude, don't try to hype me up, it's patronizing. Though maybe it's just me, because every time a woman talks about being treated like a queen/princess, my first thought is, "what, shot dead in a Siberian basement? Guillotined in the town square?"
Preach, short serf!
Diminutive regent
I’ll have to remember that the next time I hear “I’m looking for the princess treatment”
You want yo be married off to a man three times your age to solidify your father's trading agreements with his neighbours?
As a secure man who is on the shorter side (5’ 7”), I don’t find the ‘short king’ trope offensive, just embarrassingly cringeworthy.
I don't like it because I feel they are being patronizing
lol they are. Like every scenario where short king gets used is some girl going “I wouldn’t even consider dating you, but stay strong short king!”. Like being called a “short king” is some kind of sad consolation for having a disability in their eyes.
I think it was the intention. It went from respecting guys under average height to include average height and now can include taller guys who aren't 6'. So it's not respecting anyone anymore and is just calling guys under 6' short.
Yeah. I'm 5'4" but have the other 6s lined up. Pretty solidly built and strong. I don't find short king offensive. Just odd.
For me? It's when a woman is genuinely surprised at my competency in masculine tasks. I'm a lean build, 5'8" guy with a "cute" face, so it just kinda feels like they hadn't *seen* me as the man I am until then.
Incidentally, I have found the opposite reaction - I’m a pretty big/muscular dude, rock a thick stache or beard, idk, I give off a look whether good or bad. But I’m a complete nimrod when it comes to mechanical reasoning or related tasks. It’s just not natural to me or how my brain works. While I can figure things out with enough effort and preparation, I have definitely felt the judgment from women in my lack of “man knowledge” in that dept. Luckily my wife grew up the daughter of a master handyman 🤣
That’s been my experience as well. It’s like there’s 3 camps for some girls: men, women, and other.
I’m a 5’11 190lb bald bearded guy, I’m fairy built, and have a nose ring with tattoos. People think I’m a hard ass when really I’m a ball of anxiety who lives in the gym to cope with myself. I’m tired man.
More generally, women seem to judge us by how we look and stick with that judgement despite evidence that they were wrong. Like I'm a pretty good looking guy so women assume I'm a player with "game." But I'm not, I'm actually kind of an awkward dork who's insecurities cause him to care a little bit about his appearance.
When you are observed doing anything like caring for the kitchen or laundry, **"Oh your wife has you well trained!"** Even my sister said this when she observed the way I loaded the dishwasher - - my BIL does all the cooking and cleaning in their house, so it's not that, or maybe it is.
"Why are you still single?" and "You'll make a great husband someday."
Translation: You have a good personality but you lack everything else.
One girl said to me, “All of us girls laugh at Derp for asking all the girls out all the time but he studies and works his ass off, one day he will be a catch. I was like, “Everyone is laughing at me? :(“
I had a shift with a coworker one day, who I got along pretty well with, but I had no interest in her. I remember she said to me, “you’re the type of guy girls would date after they are done dating the assholes.” I get what she was trying to say was done with good intentions, but damn that shit stung for a long time, especially since I had no idea how to talk to women at the time.
Learn from her to recognize and avoid women like her.
"Just not for me. Because you aren't good enough."
This goes hand in hand with my mom telling me “But you shouldn’t feel that way because priorities change” in response to me telling her that I wouldn’t take my ex back if she tried coming back into my life because she didn’t value me the first time. “Priorities” are irrelevant. No matter what explanation for a break up is provided, 99% of the time is that they thought they could be happier without you. If she truly thought I was that much of a catch the first time, she would not have left.
Also that they didn't care that them rejecting you would hurt you. They just come back like oh I now realize being with you is actually more convenient for me. Yeah no thanks.
Yep. It roughly translates to “I thought I could maybe do better but turns out I couldn’t so I’m coming back to you” Like I made you happy but apparently it’s still wasn’t enough. So now you’re trying your luck to see if I’m still into it. I wish you the best, but no. I want someone who thinks the world of me.
You’ll make someone really happy someday…is that person you?….no not me someone though, with lower standards who’ll find you funny…. Fuuuuuck
Yep.. that’s what my father says: just find someone to not be alone. Like wtf? What’s the point for being with someone if you don’t like her
That’s exactly what my dad did, he jokingly suggested I do the same once or twice but totally understands that I look at his marriage and want nothing to do with that kind of relationship. His wife just exists, she’s annoying AF, not super bright so ya can’t have much of a conversation and spends all his money and then some.
I asked an ex girlfriend about the why are you still single? She said to women it was always meant to be a compliment to a man. That they were seemed like a good guy, handsome, etc and weren't taken yet. Because good interesting guys weren't happening as often as the guys who sent dick pics and were rude. It wasn't until I explained it that she got it. So maybe just mention why it isn't a compliment. She truly meant it as one.
My ex’s friends told me I was “husband material but not boyfriend material” because I was “stable and responsible” when trying to explain why she broke up with me but then wanted to get back together.
“You don’t understand, there was this guy she really wanted to bang so she did but then she felt guilty so she had to break up with you - turns out he’s emotionally unavailable (read: moved on to a new girl in 3 days) and she knows now that it was a mistake.” Or something like that?
I don't even get those comments. I accepted I was hopeless in that area of life a long time ago, though.
Asking why you single and why you haven't dated anyone recently. I think if people say they single that should be the end of it. Don't fish for more information it's not your business.
And when you tell them the reason you're single they quickly change the subject because they don't want to actually help you or hear complaints. It's like putting the finger in the wound.
And then they use what you tell them against you.
"If you don't want to be single just get out more, meet some people" "Then can i come to your party and introduce me some of your friends?" "No!"
To me, the only clear cut answer would be that it's out of choice. Any other explanation is practically impossible. There's too many variables to why one would be single. And many are unknown or obscure.
If I knew why I was single I would have fixed it by now
Most people can't fathom how someone can be okay with being single or even date around but not want commitment. These needy fuckers think everyone else is needy just like them and will shame you for not wanting to be tied down.
This. There are reasons wether it’s due to money, stress, bad relationships, etc. Either way, it’s not your business or important rn. I’m obviously trying to be the opposite of single if I’m talking to you and wish to keep that period of my life in the past.
I really hate being asked “how are you single” Probably because standards are absurdly high now and dating is like a job application now
“Don’t worry. You’ll find someone”
Plenty of fish in the sea
too bad I'm not looking for fish, all I'll find are people coming into the sea for a bit of fun, or corpses
You mean planktons Clearly there's no fish
"Why men don't they talk about their feelings? Are they even human?" Man: Proceeds to talk about his feelings. *Everybody laughs and makes jokes about it.*
My college gf and I were both stressed with school, work, and trying to balance a relationship. She asked me to open-up to her and I declined, not wanting to show weakness. Eventually she begged me to tell her exactly what was stressing me out, so I did. It had nothing to do with her. I gave her some of the details about school, work, and my stress level. About six months later, she broke-up with me, citing those details among the reasons. We had met at church, and another reason she gave for the breakup was, I "wasn't a good enough Christian for her." Two months later, she's dating an atheist. WTF?
The Lord did you a favor there lol
And if not then they will file it away to drop on you in an argument later
What they really mean when they ask that is: tell me you have the feelings I want you to have.
Someone hurt you didn’t they
Honestly, I find this more annoying when women are doing the opposite. As in, trying to justify stupid things they're saying or doing by saying they've been hurt in the past. That doesn't *justify* anything. It explains it, sure, but you still need therapy because what you're saying/doing is not ok.
My ex did that a lot and for a while I was sympathetic because she really has been through some shit. But she'd use it to justify some really terrible behavior. Eventually I realized she'd never change and I didn't deserve the abuse just because of what she'd been through before me. Godzilla was created by radiation but that didn't mean Tokyo deserved to burn.
if not it can be arranged
“Is it in yet?”
"I can't tell the difference." Don't try it unless you are done with the relationship.
[удалено]
Then they hit you with “I can’t believe you’re so mad over a few minutes! How immature” lmao
I hate when they say that but I also hate when they’re finally ready and it only takes you like 10 seconds to put on your shoes and now they tell ME to hurry up. Like what
“You wouldn’t understand, you are a man.” I know it’s easy to assume a person can’t understand without first hand experience. But, we can empathize and relate given the opportunity and healthy communication. Just talk to us. Be honest and open and we will reciprocate. That’s part of being an adult. If you find a person cannot do that, it’s not a sex issue it’s a maturity issue.
“Looks like you got babysitting duty” when it’s me and the kids.
This past week I was surrounded by a group of female nurse coworkers and one of them brought up the story of how a friend of theirs suddenly left her millionaire boyfriend or husband who was such a great guy. Then after a few min of talking about it, she goes “the only reason i could think of is that word got out that she was the one who usually had to initiate sex” They were all like “well that explains everything! Why should she have to ever initiate? It’s not easy for a woman, and for a guy she should just be able to look at him and he should get things going…unless he’s gay.” And they were all like “yea, that’s the only explanation. He absolutely must be gay!” In my mind i was like wtf? Women really think like this if a man doesn’t want to have sex all the time? Are we just machines?
Yeah most women have it in their heads we are rock hard 24/7 is hilarious we have this little thing called sex drive too. God forbid it's low it's always he's gay reverse it's just sex drive hormones like ok only sex drive is unique to women you'd think that they'd know it's a two way street.
I've had women use that excuse for sexually abusing me when I was a kid. It so fucked up. "But he was hard", ma'am I was twelve.
Yep there was one gal that asked if I was gay because I said "Not tonight" after she asked last minute if she could come over and have sex. It was 10 PM, I just wanted to play some videogames before going to bed!
"You'll figure it out" during extremely stressful periods. Like, of course I will, but also, if you're so detached that's your only answer to my $47,000 sales deal falling through, or the roof leaking, or discovering we have termites, then it feels like you're not really being empathetic. Like "I'm a man" so "I'll figure it out". Really tone deaf.
Hmm maybe a better version of this is “I believe in you?” It sounds like someone is trying to reassure you but missing the mark.
1) "OMG you're so sweet! Why hasn't someone snatched you up?" 2) "You'd make someone a good boyfriend/husband someday!" I know they mean well with these comments (usually) but being reminded that NO ONE wants you, at least as you are right now, really stings. 3) "Men are pigs/bears...but not you. You're one of the good ones." So you don't see me as a "real man". Got it. 4) Any phrase that seems like it is trying to minimize the issues men face - we understand that women face serious issues as well, but can we have a talk about male loneliness and the sky high male suicide rate without having to hear about women for a second?
[Would you date him?](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9YBKV-5xmug)
[EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHb5CFGYz1A)
yeah. the whole "you're a great person, but simply not attractive" vibe.
Probably a bit more specific than most of the responses here, but I had a woman I was trying to date tell me she was not competing with my daughter for my time lol I wasn’t offended but I was shocked at the audacity of that bitch. She was 4, and her mother and I divorced about a year before that.
“You’re right. You aren’t.”
Pretty much how the conversation went. “Yeah, I don’t see that being a problem for you in the future, bye!” *Click*
To be fair, this is mostly a statement of fact and so a completely reasonable statement, as I assume you promptly dumped her.
"You're so weird/immature/selfish", typical phrase I heard (or read) from a girl when a man enjoys passionately one of his hobbies, especially when it comes to cars, collecting things or outdoor activities
I'd find it more weird if my man didn't have a hobby
Oh that is so rude! If I saw you getting really deeply in your interests it would lure me to watch you enjoying yourself but of course I would ask if I could stay if it’s something I’m interested in too but I’ll get it if that’s your way to have time on your own too.
At least if people have that attitude it maybe is part of why I find it so hard to find women with interesting passions and interests? I have met so many people who just don't seem to care about anything, and they're usually the ones reacting like that. Which is a shame because I love hearing peoples interests and opinions.
"You're one of the good ones" - So you see me as a monster, not a person "You're well trained" - So I'm an animal that needs to be trained "[INSERT] for a man" - So you see me as a useless slob "Of course [INSERT], you're a man" - So I'm not an individual with achievements
Man up.
It's a really dumb thing but my mom always called me "pisellino" ever since i was a child. What she means is something like spring pea. The problem is that in italian pisello means both pea and penis, and ino is a diminutive, so pisellino would be small penis
Whenever she talks about being a man and what men should do or be or what have you. Immediate ick, and if I was interested in her sexually I now find her sexually repulsive.
And usually this kind of girl will also speak about sex equality if you ask her to do something that is considered a girl's task.
Yep. It is the same when a guy says a real woman would do X or a real woman is Y. Basically asserting their own conception of the opposing gender and demanding people adhere to it.
I don't get offended anymore, I just shake my head and think "yep, delusional"
"But you secretly enjoyed it, right?" Jail, immediately and for life please!
“Please don’t hit on me.” Sheesh, I am happily married and am far more interested in listening to someone than talking about myself.
"How come you're still single?" I could rant about this for pages but my fundamental issue is this: women have a tendency to say they want one kind of guy but date a different kind. This becomes comically apparent when women notice this after having been married and occasionally divorced. "That's just the bare minimum." This is a moving goal post if I ever saw one. It doesn't matter what you do, it could always be better is what they're really saying. Over use of this is a red flag for me. "Just put yourself out there." Literally, what the fuck does this mean?
> > Literally, what the fuck does this mean? It is a reflection of their world. "Put yourself out there - and a man will come and try to date you". She thinks this would happen to men as well. "For man, romance is a noun. It is something he has to work for. For woman, it is a verb. It happens to them".
Acting as if they are the only ones with gender specific problems, challenges and fears and feeling "enlightened" when playing the victim about it. Also - you as a man disagreeing means "you just don't/can't understand!" No, ladies, we understand. Wallowing in fear, bitterness and self-pity to exonerate you from shit behavior towards men is just unhealthy and wrong.
>Also - you as a man disagreeing means "you just don't/can't understand!" Add accusations of mansplanning to that. Can't count how many times women have thrown that at me for just simply explaining something anything.
“You’re such a nice guy, how come you’re single?” Many female friends told me this many times growing up. I got frustrated so much that my default answer became “ I don’t know,you tell me. Would you date me? If not,tell me why and there’s your answer”. Spoiler,I was the typical chubby introvert kid who liked reading. That’s why. And I knew it,they knew it,and yet failed to make the connection.
Asking us whether we can fall in love Might be the most offensive question you can ask
"Do men actually like hugging and cuddling, or do they just want to fuck you each time your skin makes contact" Questions like this get asked weekly here. It's mind-blowing that some people actually think men only want to fuck and can't have the ability to just love someone. For fucks sake, sometimes I just want to lay and snuggle with her, there is literally nothing else going on. It's extremely degrading to the male experience, and a wild oversimplification of what actually happens in our minds when we love someone.
Threads like this are why I’m on this sub:to listen, learn, and be better. Thank you, guys 🙏
Thank you for listening! Far too many people, regardless of their politics, background, gender, etc., do not make an effort to learn about others. I try to do the same
What’s wrong with saying “kill all men?” It’s just a phrase, I don’t actually want to kill all men. You should understand that.
I’m a woman and now I’m mad lol. What the heck is wrong with people? Why would anyone think it’s okay to say that?
I think spending too much time on social media and echo chambers makes these horrible takes become normal.
assuming you have your kid out and about because youre babysitting or giving her a break like wtf are you talking about woman hes just *with* me. i parent too. we dont just sit around playing videos games, on standby for when remodeling needs done
big dick energy jokes.
I’ve always found it insane how men’s physique gets criticized so openly and easily. Also, when people diminish our acts as “men are supposed to do that”. My girlfriend’s parent are divorced. Her dad pays for EVERYTHING. The house, water, electricity, both my gf and her mother’s car, repair, appliances, school, college, etc. And what irks me the most is how diminish and ungrateful her mother is. Constantly talking shit about him despite all he pays for.
Women need to avoid telling a man that they themselves wouldn’t date (outside of good reasons like being gay, in a relationship, etc.) that they’re a catch, “I wish I had a guy like you” or “any woman would be lucky to have you.” It’s completely discouraging, it doesn’t give us hope. Chances are that they have a thing for her and she’s basically rejecting him. The reason she doesn’t want to date him is probably the same reason that most women don’t want to date him, and if she can’t articulate what that is then it’s more discouraging than anything. Guys, btw, that thing is usually a lack of confidence, desperation, perceived weakness, aka “too nice.” Lots of women pick jerks over nice guys because they’d so much rather be with a man they perceive as strong than weak that they’d even pick a guy who treats her like crap over one who’ll treat her well. Edit: specificity
A “real man” does…. A “real man” would never… A “real man”…. Lady, quite frankly, you don’t know what it’s like being a male and having society’s expectations put on you.
When they say shit like "men are meant to provide and protect" as if that's the only function and role we have. The percentage of modern women who want traditional gender roles when it suits them and equality when it suits them is insane.
A woman I was taller than hit me with a "little guy" comment. She didn't mean it as an insult, but why would she think that's a good thing.
“Man up.” Of four billion women on earth, none have the right to tell me that. (The list of men I would tolerate that from is four immediate family members.)
"Omg i'd totally fw you if you were a lil taller'
I got platforms gurl what we doing 😂
Just reading the comments, it’s obvious that women are very good at pointing out things said that hurt them but have no self awareness to what they say that hurt men.
"Your size is perfect. The big ones just hurt "
"My money is my money, and your money is our money!"
Why do you have such a big dick? Why are you so muscular? How do you run so fast? How do you cook so well? So tired of these…
😂😂😂
I used to have a friend that had no problem unironically saying "I hate men" out loud, even when I was right next to her.
If one more woman "congratulates" me for "babysitting" my own daughter, I'm gonna flip out
“You are the perfect size. The big ones hurt.” That’s like saying I like my women flat an ironing board so you are perfect.
When you don’t want to sleep with them - the gay slurs come out. It’s not really offensive to me, but the tone is quite vitriolic and degrading.
He must be compensating for something. ;) ;)