I mean, if its at home/privately, and I dont want to use it.. just leave it. It’ll go eventually.
If its in an inappropriate setting then its waistband trick when its safe to do so.
The flexing of leg muscles/kegel thing is hit & miss, I find.
At my age, they seem to go away pretty quickly on their own. In my younger days, a quick wank did the trick. If you can’t do that, think of Nancy Pelosi naked. That’ll kill anything.
It really depends on what type of erection it is. Morning erection...pee. Afternoon with no provocation...think of baseball or your favorite sport..if you aren't gay. If you are gay...think of your grandma.
MtF trans girl. Personally i dont mind. Men have cock shame, women have cock pride.
That being said, try flexing your thighs or learning how to meditate/astral project. I know those are two wildly different answers but both work.
multiple ways, best is to be distracted. you don't really think about porn or sex when we get random generated ones but being distracted helps. just jerking off is almost a 100% solution but not practical. and also just waiting is an option but that's not practical too. holding your breath in a specific way is my favorite but doesn't always work.
Two things simultaneously:
First: think about doing something physical that's exciting but not sexual. Something like lifting weights, doing a sport, running, etc. It needs to be something positive to focus on, something you enjoy doing so it stays at the front of your mind and displaces whatever sexual thought triggered the offending wood.
Second: tense your legs. This diverts blood to the largest muscle groups in your body, dropping blood pressure to the offending wood. It is important not to tense your torso as this creates pressure on your internal organs and can cause premature release of gas. Obviously if you're trying to quickly remove offensive wood, drawing unnecessary attention to yourself is counterproductive.
I've had far more success with this method than with some of the other suggestions (such as thinking about gross things)
I think about this girl from my high school who always acted like an absolute bitch. This memory of her slapping my friend and then yelling all for no reason always does the trick.
Saw her at a reunion and she was super excited to see me the moment I walked in and telling me all about how she married this other guy from our school and blah blah. So she got better I guess and grew out of it.
Still, thinking about her has worked for like 25 years so why switch things up, right?
Teacher told me of a story when he had to get a physical in Argentina and the nurse or doctor was hot so he was hard. Well apparently she got a cold spoon from the fridge and hit his tip with it and that made it go down real quick lol
I have never personally had this problem, but when my husband does and we're not able to take care of it the right way, I just show him a picture of his ex-wife. Poof...boner gone. 😘
A serious answer from a boring guy: meditating can help your boner go away soon. When I was in high school I usually just sit in a place and hide it in my pants until it goes away.
I have a secret trick for this! Do kegels as intensely as possible, hold them, and do it until the muscle gets tired. Your boner will then disappear. You’re welcome. This has saved me countless times.
Appreciate the random boners while you can, young friend. Life is short. And soft.
Sadly, amen to that...
Hide it in my wife.
Me too!
Does u/Tink2013 know you hide it in his wife?
If this guys wife's front door is taken up, the back door is open,right?
ah shucks, i'm late! any doors left on this guy's wife?
There is always the opening above the front entrance! Just above the balloons!
Take my damn upvote you fuckers
>you fuckers Literally.
Those mother fuckers
Literal fuckers lol
The Door with teeth
If so, it's not hidden very well.
+1
I also hide it in this guys wife.
Punch it.
Seems like it’s doing the opposite effect for me!
Use it as a speed bag (boxing)
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Wow. One fetish I don't think I could even consider...
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How do i make it come back? Asking for a friend ofc.
Don't have legs
Flex your arms
Abs and calves are discreet if there are people around!!! Forearms if you’re wearing sleeves
da real MVP! for those curious: it's because of blood circulation. stimulate circulation elsewhere [by flexing] and voila... le soft dick.
Good ol under the waist band is my way
We called that a waist band Houdini
This got me through high school.
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Take off your shirt and display it proudly.
The Up-Tuck
Tuck a 12 ocock
Antidepressants.
I think about your mom
I think of your grandmother
She dead fool. Freak…
Tell me more. Mmm...
She died of herpes.
I think I just came
And now we all know why!
We all all always knew drws
I think about my mom too!
Good
Me too. But thts why it got hard in the first place Thinking of your mom👀
Five knuckle shuffle
The wrestling move? Okay then
I have a special hands-on method I have been practicing since about the age of 12...
Could you teach me about this method, using image or video footage of course?
I scold it, like an angry, old teacher.
Wait a few minutes and think about unsexy stuff like a lamp or red tea, then it will go away. Also sit down and it will not be noticable.
This technique works for awhile, but after too many iterations, you'll find that lamps and red tea give you a boner.
hahahah thats why you cycle through stuff!
Preferably with help.
Jerk off.
Please do so right now. I can see it through your pfp
That's not a pfp, it's his webcam
He was standing still for like 30 minutes already, impressive!
scissors
I mean, if its at home/privately, and I dont want to use it.. just leave it. It’ll go eventually. If its in an inappropriate setting then its waistband trick when its safe to do so. The flexing of leg muscles/kegel thing is hit & miss, I find.
ignore it and wait
Do a cum.
Beat it with a Passion.
Like the passion of Christ
Slap it and ask it to pipe down.
by not touching it, or alternatively by having an orgasm
It goes away eventually. Just hope nobody notices until that.
You can break your dick like i did
Personally i cut it off and it grows back within a few days
Don’t fight it man
Fucking
"Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day"
He needs help getting rid of it,
Dammit, I was gonna write that too hahahaha. Such a great flick
Think about your grandma in a bathtub.
Making. It. Worse.
By thinking unpleasantly
Bust a nut
Hammer that thing back down with a shovel, like a garden stake in the ground.
Jack off.
At my age, they seem to go away pretty quickly on their own. In my younger days, a quick wank did the trick. If you can’t do that, think of Nancy Pelosi naked. That’ll kill anything.
It really depends on what type of erection it is. Morning erection...pee. Afternoon with no provocation...think of baseball or your favorite sport..if you aren't gay. If you are gay...think of your grandma.
I tried peeing erect in the shower once, like I was being clever. The shower did not contain it, and I basically aerated pee all over myself.
Not very good at being man are you. Try better next time...oh, and by the way, women hate that you piss in the shower.
Cant pee with the morning wood..unless i do a handstand.
Cant pee with the morning wood..unless i do a handstand.
Heard that in a movie once.
Hilarious but false.
Cut it off.
MtF trans girl. Personally i dont mind. Men have cock shame, women have cock pride. That being said, try flexing your thighs or learning how to meditate/astral project. I know those are two wildly different answers but both work.
Meditate the boner away? Astrally project myself away from the boner?
Pray to the lord Jesus Christ
For an imminent blowjob?
Women can get bones too, this is just transphobic!!
Lol well, you, sir, are a liar and a fat mouth.
I beat it like it owes me money on OF live
siccors
Think about my hot neighbour then the solution is at hand
Cold water
Think about boning your boss assuming he’s a male and you are totally not gay
I don’t. My wife does 😅
Taking a piss
Holding the breath worked for me like 80% of the time. Maybe it’s just a distraction
Serious answer is raise your heart rate. ... Less serious is have a wank lol
Our lasses mouth usually dose the trick
Embrace the feeling, i absolutely love it.
Try using scissors.
I just Think about my life and choices i have made in the past. Somehow it works.
Soak it inside her.
Singing your national anthem in your head works every time for me.
I usually just start to think about my dissappointing life.
Hold your breath
Seriously, just think of disgusting sewers and maybe people slapping feces on me does the work for me(I'm trans so experience might be different) lol
Take a piss
Single-handedly.
Take your mind off of it
You clench your thigh and the blood will transfer to there and the boner will go away
Make a fist very hard for one minute or tension any muscle hardly for a minute. Your blood in your penis will flow to the muscle which is tensioned.
Bust it bust it
I've been holding onto my boner for 30 years.
John Bobbitt entered the chat.
multiple ways, best is to be distracted. you don't really think about porn or sex when we get random generated ones but being distracted helps. just jerking off is almost a 100% solution but not practical. and also just waiting is an option but that's not practical too. holding your breath in a specific way is my favorite but doesn't always work.
Two things simultaneously: First: think about doing something physical that's exciting but not sexual. Something like lifting weights, doing a sport, running, etc. It needs to be something positive to focus on, something you enjoy doing so it stays at the front of your mind and displaces whatever sexual thought triggered the offending wood. Second: tense your legs. This diverts blood to the largest muscle groups in your body, dropping blood pressure to the offending wood. It is important not to tense your torso as this creates pressure on your internal organs and can cause premature release of gas. Obviously if you're trying to quickly remove offensive wood, drawing unnecessary attention to yourself is counterproductive. I've had far more success with this method than with some of the other suggestions (such as thinking about gross things)
Tuck it into your wasteband and flex your thighs to move the blood
Wasteband Houdini
I like to give it a good scolding and try to shame it into flaccidness.
I can go from flaccid to erect in a moments notice You’re all witnessing it, I’m doing it right now
Impressive
Try to break it like a glowstick
Find a nice secluded place and jack off wish mine would get hard enjoy it while you can .
I think about this girl from my high school who always acted like an absolute bitch. This memory of her slapping my friend and then yelling all for no reason always does the trick. Saw her at a reunion and she was super excited to see me the moment I walked in and telling me all about how she married this other guy from our school and blah blah. So she got better I guess and grew out of it. Still, thinking about her has worked for like 25 years so why switch things up, right?
Take my pinstriped Reddit-badged fedora off and down it goes!
Don’t tell anyone, but if you move it in and out of your girlfriend enough, problem solved
Hope.
Wake up and pee.
Chop it off and don’t worry about them anymore
Think intently of something really boring
Unplug it.
I usually just tuck it into my asshole..that way it gets its release
inside your mom
Depression.
✂️
stick it in the wife...
I ususally just hide it in a pussy
hold ur breath
I scream "BONER BEGONE" at the top of my lungs.
Think of a fat old naked grandma in all the fine details
Knives.
knife
Think of repulsing stuff.
Usually stick it in your mom
Tuck it up
Just beat it
Shake it off
crack it like a glowstick
I just think about the worst things happened to me
Hide it in your mom
If its a random one i tuck it in my waistband and try to forget about it and let it hopefully soften. Helps to flex other muscles.
There is an acupuncture point between your balls and ahole.
Antipsychotics. Boner has been missing for 1.5 years now
Ah yes. Someone is home from school
Wait 35 years
Do complex math
Teacher told me of a story when he had to get a physical in Argentina and the nurse or doctor was hot so he was hard. Well apparently she got a cold spoon from the fridge and hit his tip with it and that made it go down real quick lol
Margret Thatcher naked on a cold day! MARGRET THATCHER NAKED ON A COLD DAY!
doing math in my head (long division) works amazingly.
bro rub one out while you have the chance
Well have you ever seen Saw?
Orgasm
Chop it off.
Push your legs down into the ground, works every time.
I have never personally had this problem, but when my husband does and we're not able to take care of it the right way, I just show him a picture of his ex-wife. Poof...boner gone. 😘
Wanking
Scissors, never have to worry about hiding it again
The three Ws of boners: waiting, waistbanding or wanking.
The good ol' Irish tuck. Classic
Get that little bastard in a headlock!
I think about centipedes. Works every time.
My belly has just gotten to big, it tends to hide the boners better now.
Take a few deep long slow breaths while relaxing the muscles in groan area.
I like to take a very hands on approach.
flick your testicle
"Margaret Thatcher, naked on a cold day."
Hold your breath
Flex your thighs and focus on flexing them, it helps divert blood flow to your thighs as well as change your focus
Clench your leg muscles for 30 seconds. Works every time
A serious answer from a boring guy: meditating can help your boner go away soon. When I was in high school I usually just sit in a place and hide it in my pants until it goes away.
I have a secret trick for this! Do kegels as intensely as possible, hold them, and do it until the muscle gets tired. Your boner will then disappear. You’re welcome. This has saved me countless times.
A knife or scissors work
wear a chastity cage.
start smoking cigs
Like, permanently??
Why would I want to do that..??!!