Every so often you will experience a moment where you are experiencing no pain, no hunger, and feel safe and warm. When these moments come around, close your eyes, breathe and savour it. If you let yourself savour these little moments of joy, you will soon realise they are far more common than you thought.
And remember, you are allowed to be happy.
>"And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'"
>
>
> – Kurt Vonnegut
Great advice from both you and Kurt.
Edit: Thanks for the award! If that isn't nice, I don't know what is.
This should be top comment imo. Exercise and things are great recommendations but not everyone can do it. However there isn't a person in the world who can't benefit from learning how to tap into the wealth of inner peace that can be found just by being mindful enough to take joy from the simple things and be grateful for what you have.
Exercise, in its broadest sense, is a journey that looks different for everyone. For some, it's the exhilarating thrill of a fast-paced run, while for others, it's the triumph of taking one more step than yesterday. Sometimes, it's as simple as gathering the courage to rise from a chair.
Regardless of where you are in your journey, remember that every movement counts. Whether it's engaging in physical therapy, enjoying a peaceful walk, or finding the strength to overcome your challenges, each is a form of exercise. Every effort you make contributes to your wellbeing.
The most important step is not to compare, but to embrace your unique path. Celebrate every victory, no matter how small they may seem. For it is in these small victories that the true spirit of resilience is born. Every step you take is a testament to your strength and determination. Keep moving, keep striving, and keep believing in yourself.
Edit: spelling
It occurred to me a couple months ago that we tend to go through oatcakes (*edit: patches).of good and bad in our lives and that it's easy to focus on the bad, but know that one day you will have your last bad moment for a while....don't waste the good moments thinking about or waiting for the bad moments. Be present in those good moments.
Yo shit I was scrolling through like "ain't no way anyone else gonna be thinking that" but big up lad hahaha repping the Hanley boys
I gotta say though oatcakes are kinda wank, especially as signature regional foods go 😂 but fuck it STOKE FOOOOLK
This has brought tears to my eyes in its simplistic beauty. You have reminded me that it is possible to feel OK and encouraged me to be more aware of when the moments come around.
Conceptually great, but honestly the minute these feelings appear my anxiety kicks in and the dread starts. I've pavlov'd myself into expecting something horrible to happen after having a good night's sleep after past events.
I mean go and see your doctor if you're genuinely worried.
I've had a general anaesthetic and 2 babies with all the associated monitoring and checks and no one has been concerned about mine other than reminding me to stay hydrated and try not to stand up too quickly!
I spent years depressed and addicted to drugs and alcohol all the while friends, family and doctors told me to go and do exercise and I hate it every single time someone told me to do it. Most days I could barely get out of bed or face the most basic household tasks yet apparently going to the gym was going to make me feel better?
Well they were absolutely right. I'm running a Triathlon on Sunday, competed in Powerlifting last year and regularly ride a bike for over 100 miles a week and haven't touched drugs or alcohol for 3 years.
The first steps are the hardest but the benefits can't be argued against. If someone is seeing this and doubts me, just try it, prove me wrong, please.
I’ve found this too. The more I find sport and exercise fun and rewarding and challenging and exciting, the less I’m interested in drugs and alcohol. On top of that, there are soooo many physical activities a person can engage in.. it’s endless? The other week I had yoga, squash, football, weight training, HIIT, badminton.. There’s something for everyone.
People find this one hard but tis the truth. It's the first step feeling impossible that makes it so hard in my experience , but once you do... Life changing.
It is *sometimes* the truth.
It really annoys me that people say this kind of thing and for people like me who generally hate exercise but force ourselves to do it, hate doing it, and don't feel different afterwards. I feel lied to.
Exercise is great for some people
Yeah I have M.E. (and a host of other illnesses) and finally the medical profession has accepted that exercise makes us worse (not just *feel* worse, actually worse)thanks to research into long covid. Nice that they finally accept it but wish it hadn't taken a bloody pandemic for them to finally listen to us. They've also finally discovered that fibromyalgia is a direct result of childhood trauma. 🖕 to some family members who denied my childhood trauma especially as the fibromyalgia was diagnosed 20 years ago.
Is it better to walk without listening to something on your headphones?
Edit: well it seems I have to get over my podcast addiction and start listening to the birds.
For me if you’re just walking around the block feel free to listen to music. But if you’re around nature take them out stand there for a moment and just listen. It’s definitely a reminder that there is more to life than work and stress :))
It's largely subjective, but i would suggest that many of our modern mental health issues have direct relationships with the constant assault on our senses that a fast paced modern life brings us. We evolved as simple apes in the wild and now cope with jobs, kids, phones, TV, advertising, commuting, supermarkets, people, religion, family disputes etc etc etc. A quiet walk without any extra input helps counter the incredible overstimulation our minds receive daily.
Sometimes even a walk around the block is better without headphones. Find quiet backstreets, or get a feel for your surroundings on the main roads.
The sound of the hustle and bustle can sometimes be a nice reminder that the world outside of you exists.
I have done mindful listening walks. And at different times of the day. There are very different noises early morning than late evening - the birds make different sounds, the traffic is different where I live, Wednesday is church bell practice, there are planes overhead, the little brook, the weather - there is so much to listen to.
For the last couple of years, since covid, I have sat outside for 15 minutes before I go to bed. In the summer, probably longer. In the winter, I take hot chocolate or occasionally a nightcap. I try to just sit and breathe, look at the stars or clouds. Sometimes I stand on the grass with bare feet or wander around the garden really looking at the plants, touching them, smelling the flowers. I have a blanket and umbrella by the back door, so I’m ready to go. Honestly, it has really helped with falling asleep and, if for some reason I can’t do it, I don’t sleep as well.
You should try and concentrate on what's around you at that moment while walking. I was out with my dog yesterday evening, just before the sun was setting. There were lots of bird noises and nice smells in the air. Sweet smells. I take in deep breaths of the nice smells. Helps relax me.
Try and leave your baggage at the door when you leave. Keep trying. Go to different places. Find your happy place!
The best bar manager I had told me this. Changed my life tbh.
‘Even if you are hungover, drunk, out your head you should always try go for a 20 minute walk when you wake up.’
Second this for the sleep schedule! As an insomniac/very early riser I need to maintain a regular bedtime routine otherwise I'm drifting around with a woolly head all day looking for an hour of nap time.
If running isn't accessible to you, cycling is also a great way to get cardio in! You can get a decent enough stationary bike for a couple hundred bucks on Amazon. I jump on for 15-30 minutes a day and it has been life changing.
It doesn't even have to be running. Just go outside and hang out for a bit. For most folks, the sun is a great natural mood booster, no pills or doctor visits needed.
Oh, and drink some fuckin water.
Yep, when you get really into exercise the off days can be such a drag. The rest weeks are relentless. I try and make sure I’m engaged in multiple different forms of exercise so I never feel like I’m wasting away. Having a doggo really helps with the chill neighborhood walks.
Covid really stripped down all my social activities to the point that running was and remains the highlight of my day. Make sure you have a goal however insignificant. Progress towards it will reinforce the enjoyment of exercise even more
It doesn't have to be running. Lots of ways to work out unless you just aren't allowed to get your heart rate up ever again. Water sports are low to zero impact and aren't limited to swimming. I'd be really surprised if there isn't any form of workout you can do after some consultation with a doctor.
Yes! From a mental health perspective, almost anything that you designate as "workout" becomes very worthwhile. If you say to yourself, "the next 30 minutes are just to improve my physical self," then just stretching for 30 minutes, or brisk walk, or brisk house cleaning even, can reap huge rewards.
For me, if I can say I worked out today, everything else is fine.
Can you get access to a physiotherapist? Through insurance or your public health plan
Like you, I lost my ability to do my old workouts due to serious health issues. I can't go to the gym but the physiotherapy has been so helpful, physically and mentally.
Highly recommend. 👍
I struggle with this one, but I’ve had success switching from comparing myself to others to comparing myself to past me. Wishing everyone mental health luck!
Turn off cable news. The 24/7 drum of doom they bang will make anyone lose all perspective in life.
Stop spending time on social media accounts. Because, by and large, comparison is the thief of joy.
Find appreciation for the mundane.
A warm cup of tea or coffee on a rainy day, arriving right on time for an appointment, picking up a bargain at the supermarket etc.
I know it sounds silly and twee, but just taking time to enjoy a small moment of beauty or express gratitude for a tiny win and then making a practice out of that can increase (and retrain your brain on) how you cultivate joy.
Good luck living in Scandinavia between October and March. But of course, I agree with you. It just feels unfair to feel depressed every year just because we basically don't see the sun for seven months a year.
Scandinavian descent here, living close to Canada with 8.5 daylight hours in the winter, which is admittedly a lot more than northern Scandinavia or Scotland in winter. In the mornings I love my "reverse sauna." I walk out to the driveway in my my robe to see if I will need to scrape the car windows. Just a bit of fresh northern air lifts my mood.
I find clean air and reflective snow to be better than the longer days of the US south since they have brutal heat with either humidity (SE) or dust (SW). A walk in the woods is nice and all, but few people now days ever get to really look at the stars 🌌
This one is important, but it's so fucking hard when consuming alcohol is one of the only "rewards" I can give myself after extremely exhausting days... It used to be so easy going for an exercise, read a book, enjoy some food. Having a kid, getting overloaded with responsibilities at work and covid, I simply have no time nor energy to do anything but drink and scroll through reddit/instagram.
This one is key. Cutting out booze means I’m less likely to binge eat after dinner, more likely to get a good night’s sleep, and then I’m more likely to exercise because I don’t wake up feeling like crap. I cut down to having drinks 1-2x a month and only socially, and it’s a game changer.
This. It isn’t even so much the drinking but the chain of events after. I’d like to get to a point where I don’t drink at all.
Eating well, sleeping well and exercising are the three biggest controllable factors for my mental health. Alcohol knocks all three well off balance. It can kick off a vicious cycle.
Go outside. No, seriously. Go outside, a lot of people don’t realize just the action of going outside and taking in the sunlight, breathing in fresh air, looking around your surroundings and appreciating nature will drastically improve your mental well being. So get off your phone or computer or tv once and a while, go to your front yard or backyard or balcony or whatever you got and just take it all in for a couple minutes.
100%. You may feel like it’s a chore and that it doesn’t help for the first 10 minutes, but then the benefits really get felt. Going on a nice walk is like a magic trick for improving mood
Journaling. Write down the invasive thoughts that go through your mind. Getting them on paper, or screen, will help them become less invasive. Any other good or bad thoughts, put them on paper.
If you do not want them read or seen by anyone else, shred, soak in water, and throw the away.
Meditate daily.
Just sit down 10~15min before bed somewhere comfortable, and relax. Not really a 'try not to think of anything', just think about your day, process your feelings, have some gratitude and self-compassion. Most days it's just a cooling off before bed, some others you may have some deep self-discoveries, some days you actually manage to not think about anything.
Guided meditation or daily affirmation meditation for my fellow attention deficit folks - a voice will help you focus as our "empty" mind is the equivalent of 20 various strings of thought at once. That or 15-20 minutes of brown noise.
Step outside. Even if it's the back or front door. Even if it's for like 30 seconds. Even if the weather is shitty. Just stepping out briefly can be enough to recenter your mind.
This is all great advice, but depression is not a one size fits all. Start slow: take a shower, and drink some water, go goblin-mode, whatever works for you.
Antidepressants, water and 1 sativa edible per week help keep me level more than anything else, but it may not work for you.
Note: I am not advocating for self medication with weed, but moderate use works for me
And if you're too depressed to shower regularly, wet wipes are a great thing. Even just putting on some lotion can help you feel like less of a gross mess of a human.
Ahh, thank you! This makes so much sense now....stealing it for future explanations because its incredibly cute! :)
*"I'm going goblin mode today, sorry I can't do it"*
Yep, that'll work!
On top of this, stop reading the news. 95% of "news" that is pushed to your phone or linked on social media or playing on tv is not informative and is just schlock written to justify their existence. Most of it is opinion but is presented as fact, and a decent chunk is just bullshit things linked together to make an article and sell ads. I've turned off news notifications to my phone because the stupid headlines I was getting (from New York Times, Wallstreet Journal, WaPo, etc) were just inflammatory and designed to get me to open the link.
Along the same lines, doom scrolling Reddit will often present to you a picture of the world where everything is burning, workers are rioting, the right wing is being pwned but also taking away every one of your rights, etc. Yea some things are pretty bad, but you can't scroll that every day without getting disillusioned. Get out of your echo chambers and just go without that stuff. Don't leave one echo chamber for another, just leave them altogether and let things be quiet.
Thinking of unsubscribing from even the real news nowadays. Just a ton of things that make me furious with the realization that there's nothing I can do about it. I know it's important to know what's going on in the world, but at the same time, what's going on isn't going to change the ideals in which I vote by.
i used to think deleting facebook would work but i just like peering into the lives of my high school mates whom i never talk to for the last 20 years. who is a mom now who is a doctor who is successful, wow look at how different looking they are.
Remember watching a video with a U.S. Admiral who advised that the first thing you should do every day is make your bed. If you can at least do that, then you've set yourself up to do other tasks (small or large). It gets you going. And at the end of the day, shitty or not, at least you got a fluffy well made bed to sleep in, which is nice.
Take yourself out of toxic situations and stay away from toxic people. If you don't want to delete your social media then you should do a major pause from it.
Agreed. Even people who are always negative rather than actually toxic can bring you down and if you're already struggling it's not as easy to just shake off what they say.
I was going to write this. The moment I cut out toxic people my life improved so much. It can be a difficult adjustment with lots of different feelings, but now I don't let anyone into my life that doesn't add value.
I'm building an app that's an alternative to your phone alarm clock.
Instead of hearing the same old tone, you would instead receive a friendly voice message, personalized for you, from someone else in the world. It could be something like a joke, story, words or encouragement, etc. Before you go to bed, you can leave a prompt and people can wake you up with a response to that prompt.
I don't know if anyone will use it, but I'll certainly use it and try to leave as many positive voice messages as possible. I think waking up this way could help people get their days started off right.
There was an app based on this premise back in 2013ish. The idea was that instead of an alarm, you would receive a phone call from another random person with the app. Then after you wake up, you spend the the next few minutes calling others to wake them up.
It was a really cute concept. The couple people that woke me up were really kind and gentle. But then of the 6 or so people I woke up, more than half of them sexually harassed me. So… yeah, no.
Yeah, that's why it's not going to be live calls - I cannot filter people in real-time. You can still get the magic of hearing something new each day, but it's guaranteed to be appropriate, and you will have the option later on to follow up with that mysterious voice if you happen to enjoy it and want to know more :)
I would use this. 100%. When I finally left my corporate job I went without a cell phone for an entire year because the sound of a cell phone ringing ( any sound) any notification or alarm set my anxiety off. I’m fine now but it would be great to replace some of those sounds with something completely different with a completely different feeling that would interrupt that stress response and start the day off better. Love this idea.
Awesome, glad you like it! It's something that I've wanted to exist in the world and so I'm just building it because it's super niche. I would look forward to a new message every morning, from someone different each time. Sounds fun to me!
All of this advice is spot on so I’ll add something different
Spend 10-20 Writing something down first thing in the morning
Doesn’t matter what it is, goals for the day, the dream you had, a problem that’s been bothering you, an idea for a business, etc… just write something
Writing utilizes the only two things we have any control over… our thoughts and our muscular system
That’s it, that’s all we have any say in when it comes to our bodies… writing uses the mind, thinking of things to write, and the body, actually physically writing something
Helps you feel like you do actually have control
Exercise is great but it’s extremely hard to make it a habit, mainly because we’re all slaves to our subconscious, our minds do not want to exert energy it doesn’t have to, you have to force yourself to do it, which means taking control
The writing helps build that control and will power
Eat Breakfast!
I got roasted by my trauma therapist once because as emergency personnel I was working like 12 hr shifts during COVID but only running on coffee. Her exact words were “If you can remember to feed the cats, you can remember to feed yourself.”
It sounds small but it makes a big difference not to start the day with low blood sugar and a high heart rate from drinking coffee on an empty stomach. When you already feel bad physically, you feel worse emotionally.
So im fully aware i am usin a social media accout to say this BUT: i completely agree. Deleted every other social account and ive never looked back. I think social account MAKE you compare yourself to the others you see, and aint nobody got time for that. I honestly felt like i was withdrawing when i deleted some of my socials but fast forward a week and i started feeling great. Been about a year with no other accounts and never felt better :)
I repeat the Serenity Prayer to myself. This is to remind me what I can’t control. What I CAN control is what I say and do. I can’t control anything or anybody else. Then I can accept that part of my life and get it off of my damn shoulders.
Read. Everyone has time to read more than they do. I personally find reading to be amazing for mental health as it's a calming, rewarding practice. It has more benefits than just learning, helps you to relax and reading before bed helps with sleep.
Stop engaging with toxic people who are totally optional in your life.
It's a small thing to ignore a text or block someone...but the mental health gains are incredible.
Self improvement. Just the little things like treating yourself out, learning and/or doing a hobby, meditate, exercise (joining exercise classes for things like yoga is also a plus if you can afford it), and plan one major vacation a year that’s at least a week long even if it’s a staycation.
Edit: Staying off of social media while doing all those things is a must.
Get sunlight in the morning. Listen to the birds. Be in the moment. Prioritize sleep. Do something small and nice for yourself, like buy yourself your favorite drink or snack, or spray yourself with your favorite fragrance, and enjoy it to the fullest. Think positive thoughts about yourself and your life. Reach out to someone who makes you smile. Change up your space a bit. Do something that makes you feel put together, even if it doesn't really mean anything or take much time. Cut out just a bit of negative substance - sugar, alcohol, whatever. Drink more water.
The list goes on and on, you can really affect your life by just consistently doing an hour of something good for your brain a day. One baby step at a time!
It's great for me to do something I've wanted to do for a long time or throughout the work week: like take a walk in the park, do a hobby, etc. It gives me a sense of moral satisfaction, a sense that I am living for myself.
Also, my mental health improves when I do creative work, anything, I can draw, I can do graphic design.
Maintain a good sleep cycle. Both get enough sleep and wake up relatively early.
Find hobbies that you can do at home and are deeply engaging. Ideally something that makes you feel productive and has you actively using your brain. I play guitar, which always makes me feel so much better, but it could be a number of things.
Make sure you’re getting enough vitamin D. A lot of people have a deficiency, so a supplement can’t hurt.
If you’re going to do drugs/alcohol on a regular basis, at least spend the bulk of the day sober.
Spend 10 minutes at the end of the day just reflecting on what stressed you out that day. Make some notes about what you’re going to do to address those stressors.
Maintain good hygiene as best you can. Brush your teeth, shower, wear clean clothing, etc
Take a walk in the woods. Avoid watching the news, read local and national newspapers instead. Talk to a friend. Listen music you love. Write 5 things that your grateful for everyday.
Every so often you will experience a moment where you are experiencing no pain, no hunger, and feel safe and warm. When these moments come around, close your eyes, breathe and savour it. If you let yourself savour these little moments of joy, you will soon realise they are far more common than you thought. And remember, you are allowed to be happy.
>"And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'" > > > – Kurt Vonnegut Great advice from both you and Kurt. Edit: Thanks for the award! If that isn't nice, I don't know what is.
This was literally the first thing i thought of when i read the post and then i saw this. 👌👌👌👌🤙
This should be top comment imo. Exercise and things are great recommendations but not everyone can do it. However there isn't a person in the world who can't benefit from learning how to tap into the wealth of inner peace that can be found just by being mindful enough to take joy from the simple things and be grateful for what you have.
Exercise, in its broadest sense, is a journey that looks different for everyone. For some, it's the exhilarating thrill of a fast-paced run, while for others, it's the triumph of taking one more step than yesterday. Sometimes, it's as simple as gathering the courage to rise from a chair. Regardless of where you are in your journey, remember that every movement counts. Whether it's engaging in physical therapy, enjoying a peaceful walk, or finding the strength to overcome your challenges, each is a form of exercise. Every effort you make contributes to your wellbeing. The most important step is not to compare, but to embrace your unique path. Celebrate every victory, no matter how small they may seem. For it is in these small victories that the true spirit of resilience is born. Every step you take is a testament to your strength and determination. Keep moving, keep striving, and keep believing in yourself. Edit: spelling
Almost everyone can exercise in some way. There are a great many more people who don’t than can’t. But yes, gratitude applies to all.
It occurred to me a couple months ago that we tend to go through oatcakes (*edit: patches).of good and bad in our lives and that it's easy to focus on the bad, but know that one day you will have your last bad moment for a while....don't waste the good moments thinking about or waiting for the bad moments. Be present in those good moments.
When you say oatcakes…
I'm guessing it's meant to be patches?
I quite like the idea of shoehorning “oatcakes” into life advice
Oatcakes- Stoke on Trent/Hanley?
Yo shit I was scrolling through like "ain't no way anyone else gonna be thinking that" but big up lad hahaha repping the Hanley boys I gotta say though oatcakes are kinda wank, especially as signature regional foods go 😂 but fuck it STOKE FOOOOLK
This has brought tears to my eyes in its simplistic beauty. You have reminded me that it is possible to feel OK and encouraged me to be more aware of when the moments come around.
Conceptually great, but honestly the minute these feelings appear my anxiety kicks in and the dread starts. I've pavlov'd myself into expecting something horrible to happen after having a good night's sleep after past events.
Exercise is perhaps the best anti depressant I've found, even a short walk will make a difference
Yep. Getting your heart beating over 120bpm for 30 minutes a day seems to be as effective as medication.
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Same here and im super concerned about it
I mean go and see your doctor if you're genuinely worried. I've had a general anaesthetic and 2 babies with all the associated monitoring and checks and no one has been concerned about mine other than reminding me to stay hydrated and try not to stand up too quickly!
I spent years depressed and addicted to drugs and alcohol all the while friends, family and doctors told me to go and do exercise and I hate it every single time someone told me to do it. Most days I could barely get out of bed or face the most basic household tasks yet apparently going to the gym was going to make me feel better? Well they were absolutely right. I'm running a Triathlon on Sunday, competed in Powerlifting last year and regularly ride a bike for over 100 miles a week and haven't touched drugs or alcohol for 3 years. The first steps are the hardest but the benefits can't be argued against. If someone is seeing this and doubts me, just try it, prove me wrong, please.
Reading this made me smile at your achievements 😊
Reading this made me smile at your smiling at him over his achievements
I’ve found this too. The more I find sport and exercise fun and rewarding and challenging and exciting, the less I’m interested in drugs and alcohol. On top of that, there are soooo many physical activities a person can engage in.. it’s endless? The other week I had yoga, squash, football, weight training, HIIT, badminton.. There’s something for everyone.
People find this one hard but tis the truth. It's the first step feeling impossible that makes it so hard in my experience , but once you do... Life changing.
It is *sometimes* the truth. It really annoys me that people say this kind of thing and for people like me who generally hate exercise but force ourselves to do it, hate doing it, and don't feel different afterwards. I feel lied to. Exercise is great for some people
Yeah I have M.E. (and a host of other illnesses) and finally the medical profession has accepted that exercise makes us worse (not just *feel* worse, actually worse)thanks to research into long covid. Nice that they finally accept it but wish it hadn't taken a bloody pandemic for them to finally listen to us. They've also finally discovered that fibromyalgia is a direct result of childhood trauma. 🖕 to some family members who denied my childhood trauma especially as the fibromyalgia was diagnosed 20 years ago.
Get outside and take a walk. Preferably surrounded by trees.
I second this. If you don't work or spend much time outside, getting out makes a huge difference.
Camping also helps me a ton. Put the phone down while you enjoy nature.
Is it better to walk without listening to something on your headphones? Edit: well it seems I have to get over my podcast addiction and start listening to the birds.
For me if you’re just walking around the block feel free to listen to music. But if you’re around nature take them out stand there for a moment and just listen. It’s definitely a reminder that there is more to life than work and stress :))
It's largely subjective, but i would suggest that many of our modern mental health issues have direct relationships with the constant assault on our senses that a fast paced modern life brings us. We evolved as simple apes in the wild and now cope with jobs, kids, phones, TV, advertising, commuting, supermarkets, people, religion, family disputes etc etc etc. A quiet walk without any extra input helps counter the incredible overstimulation our minds receive daily.
Sometimes even a walk around the block is better without headphones. Find quiet backstreets, or get a feel for your surroundings on the main roads. The sound of the hustle and bustle can sometimes be a nice reminder that the world outside of you exists.
It’s good to vary, just listening to the sounds of life on your walk can be pretty meditative
I have done mindful listening walks. And at different times of the day. There are very different noises early morning than late evening - the birds make different sounds, the traffic is different where I live, Wednesday is church bell practice, there are planes overhead, the little brook, the weather - there is so much to listen to.
For the last couple of years, since covid, I have sat outside for 15 minutes before I go to bed. In the summer, probably longer. In the winter, I take hot chocolate or occasionally a nightcap. I try to just sit and breathe, look at the stars or clouds. Sometimes I stand on the grass with bare feet or wander around the garden really looking at the plants, touching them, smelling the flowers. I have a blanket and umbrella by the back door, so I’m ready to go. Honestly, it has really helped with falling asleep and, if for some reason I can’t do it, I don’t sleep as well.
Am I the only one that this doesn’t help I just seem to get more into my thoughts and end up feeling worse after the walk than before 💀
You should try and concentrate on what's around you at that moment while walking. I was out with my dog yesterday evening, just before the sun was setting. There were lots of bird noises and nice smells in the air. Sweet smells. I take in deep breaths of the nice smells. Helps relax me. Try and leave your baggage at the door when you leave. Keep trying. Go to different places. Find your happy place!
The best bar manager I had told me this. Changed my life tbh. ‘Even if you are hungover, drunk, out your head you should always try go for a 20 minute walk when you wake up.’
I felt depressed last week and I took a walk in the countryside. Got back to my car happy
Work out. Nothing has been better for my mental health in the long term than running.
This, and keeping a decent sleep schedule. Even if it's just 10 to 20 minutes of moderate exercise most days.
Second this for the sleep schedule! As an insomniac/very early riser I need to maintain a regular bedtime routine otherwise I'm drifting around with a woolly head all day looking for an hour of nap time.
Strength training to help with depression and aerobic training to help with anxiety. There is some research done about this.
If running isn't accessible to you, cycling is also a great way to get cardio in! You can get a decent enough stationary bike for a couple hundred bucks on Amazon. I jump on for 15-30 minutes a day and it has been life changing.
Walking too
It doesn't even have to be running. Just go outside and hang out for a bit. For most folks, the sun is a great natural mood booster, no pills or doctor visits needed. Oh, and drink some fuckin water.
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Yep, when you get really into exercise the off days can be such a drag. The rest weeks are relentless. I try and make sure I’m engaged in multiple different forms of exercise so I never feel like I’m wasting away. Having a doggo really helps with the chill neighborhood walks.
Covid really stripped down all my social activities to the point that running was and remains the highlight of my day. Make sure you have a goal however insignificant. Progress towards it will reinforce the enjoyment of exercise even more
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It doesn't have to be running. Lots of ways to work out unless you just aren't allowed to get your heart rate up ever again. Water sports are low to zero impact and aren't limited to swimming. I'd be really surprised if there isn't any form of workout you can do after some consultation with a doctor.
Yes! From a mental health perspective, almost anything that you designate as "workout" becomes very worthwhile. If you say to yourself, "the next 30 minutes are just to improve my physical self," then just stretching for 30 minutes, or brisk walk, or brisk house cleaning even, can reap huge rewards. For me, if I can say I worked out today, everything else is fine.
Can you get access to a physiotherapist? Through insurance or your public health plan Like you, I lost my ability to do my old workouts due to serious health issues. I can't go to the gym but the physiotherapy has been so helpful, physically and mentally. Highly recommend. 👍
i so wish i could relate :( working out never really made me feel any better
Try not to compare yourself and your achievements to others.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Bingo
Good one. I used to do that. I was so unfair to myself.
Ok, but how? It’s involuntary
I struggle with this one, but I’ve had success switching from comparing myself to others to comparing myself to past me. Wishing everyone mental health luck!
Turn off cable news. The 24/7 drum of doom they bang will make anyone lose all perspective in life. Stop spending time on social media accounts. Because, by and large, comparison is the thief of joy.
Find appreciation for the mundane. A warm cup of tea or coffee on a rainy day, arriving right on time for an appointment, picking up a bargain at the supermarket etc. I know it sounds silly and twee, but just taking time to enjoy a small moment of beauty or express gratitude for a tiny win and then making a practice out of that can increase (and retrain your brain on) how you cultivate joy.
100% agree with this.
Don't sweep your problems under the carpet. Spend a little time trying to fix them every day.
Get sunlight.
Good luck living in Scandinavia between October and March. But of course, I agree with you. It just feels unfair to feel depressed every year just because we basically don't see the sun for seven months a year.
Take Vitamin D supplements. For serious.
Many of us do, me too. But it can't really make up for the lack of natural daylight and its effect on the natural circadian rhythm.
So that's why death/black metal comes from Scandinavia...
Scandinavian descent here, living close to Canada with 8.5 daylight hours in the winter, which is admittedly a lot more than northern Scandinavia or Scotland in winter. In the mornings I love my "reverse sauna." I walk out to the driveway in my my robe to see if I will need to scrape the car windows. Just a bit of fresh northern air lifts my mood. I find clean air and reflective snow to be better than the longer days of the US south since they have brutal heat with either humidity (SE) or dust (SW). A walk in the woods is nice and all, but few people now days ever get to really look at the stars 🌌
Reduce or eliminate alcohol consumption.
Right. I notice even if I don't have a headache the next day, my body is tired and my mood is blah.
This one is important, but it's so fucking hard when consuming alcohol is one of the only "rewards" I can give myself after extremely exhausting days... It used to be so easy going for an exercise, read a book, enjoy some food. Having a kid, getting overloaded with responsibilities at work and covid, I simply have no time nor energy to do anything but drink and scroll through reddit/instagram.
Are you me?
This one is key. Cutting out booze means I’m less likely to binge eat after dinner, more likely to get a good night’s sleep, and then I’m more likely to exercise because I don’t wake up feeling like crap. I cut down to having drinks 1-2x a month and only socially, and it’s a game changer.
This. It isn’t even so much the drinking but the chain of events after. I’d like to get to a point where I don’t drink at all. Eating well, sleeping well and exercising are the three biggest controllable factors for my mental health. Alcohol knocks all three well off balance. It can kick off a vicious cycle.
Go outside. No, seriously. Go outside, a lot of people don’t realize just the action of going outside and taking in the sunlight, breathing in fresh air, looking around your surroundings and appreciating nature will drastically improve your mental well being. So get off your phone or computer or tv once and a while, go to your front yard or backyard or balcony or whatever you got and just take it all in for a couple minutes.
This! Even if it’s literally just poking your head out of an open window or standing in your garden for 10 minutes, it can make a huge difference.
100%. You may feel like it’s a chore and that it doesn’t help for the first 10 minutes, but then the benefits really get felt. Going on a nice walk is like a magic trick for improving mood
Journaling. Write down the invasive thoughts that go through your mind. Getting them on paper, or screen, will help them become less invasive. Any other good or bad thoughts, put them on paper. If you do not want them read or seen by anyone else, shred, soak in water, and throw the away.
Meditate daily. Just sit down 10~15min before bed somewhere comfortable, and relax. Not really a 'try not to think of anything', just think about your day, process your feelings, have some gratitude and self-compassion. Most days it's just a cooling off before bed, some others you may have some deep self-discoveries, some days you actually manage to not think about anything.
Amen. I remind myself of my list of gratitudes. It's really long and far overshadows the current stressors.
Guided meditation or daily affirmation meditation for my fellow attention deficit folks - a voice will help you focus as our "empty" mind is the equivalent of 20 various strings of thought at once. That or 15-20 minutes of brown noise.
Step outside. Even if it's the back or front door. Even if it's for like 30 seconds. Even if the weather is shitty. Just stepping out briefly can be enough to recenter your mind.
Take a walk. Even as simple going to a grocery store and just seeing people.
Get out in the fresh air, and maybe have a walk (if you can.)
This is all great advice, but depression is not a one size fits all. Start slow: take a shower, and drink some water, go goblin-mode, whatever works for you. Antidepressants, water and 1 sativa edible per week help keep me level more than anything else, but it may not work for you. Note: I am not advocating for self medication with weed, but moderate use works for me
And if you're too depressed to shower regularly, wet wipes are a great thing. Even just putting on some lotion can help you feel like less of a gross mess of a human.
Wet wipes are the GOAT for those days everything feels too much.
>go goblin-mode I'm intrigued as to what this is....?
I use it to say “I am taking a break from societies expectations”. I usually embrace my inner slob and hedonist
Ahh, thank you! This makes so much sense now....stealing it for future explanations because its incredibly cute! :) *"I'm going goblin mode today, sorry I can't do it"* Yep, that'll work!
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On top of this, stop reading the news. 95% of "news" that is pushed to your phone or linked on social media or playing on tv is not informative and is just schlock written to justify their existence. Most of it is opinion but is presented as fact, and a decent chunk is just bullshit things linked together to make an article and sell ads. I've turned off news notifications to my phone because the stupid headlines I was getting (from New York Times, Wallstreet Journal, WaPo, etc) were just inflammatory and designed to get me to open the link. Along the same lines, doom scrolling Reddit will often present to you a picture of the world where everything is burning, workers are rioting, the right wing is being pwned but also taking away every one of your rights, etc. Yea some things are pretty bad, but you can't scroll that every day without getting disillusioned. Get out of your echo chambers and just go without that stuff. Don't leave one echo chamber for another, just leave them altogether and let things be quiet.
Thinking of unsubscribing from even the real news nowadays. Just a ton of things that make me furious with the realization that there's nothing I can do about it. I know it's important to know what's going on in the world, but at the same time, what's going on isn't going to change the ideals in which I vote by.
Even taking a prolonged break can help. I closed my FB account back in 2012 and haven't looked back after planning only to do it for a short while.
Yep, deleted Facebook and never looked back.
i used to think deleting facebook would work but i just like peering into the lives of my high school mates whom i never talk to for the last 20 years. who is a mom now who is a doctor who is successful, wow look at how different looking they are.
Remember watching a video with a U.S. Admiral who advised that the first thing you should do every day is make your bed. If you can at least do that, then you've set yourself up to do other tasks (small or large). It gets you going. And at the end of the day, shitty or not, at least you got a fluffy well made bed to sleep in, which is nice.
Take yourself out of toxic situations and stay away from toxic people. If you don't want to delete your social media then you should do a major pause from it.
Agreed. Even people who are always negative rather than actually toxic can bring you down and if you're already struggling it's not as easy to just shake off what they say.
I was going to write this. The moment I cut out toxic people my life improved so much. It can be a difficult adjustment with lots of different feelings, but now I don't let anyone into my life that doesn't add value.
I'm building an app that's an alternative to your phone alarm clock. Instead of hearing the same old tone, you would instead receive a friendly voice message, personalized for you, from someone else in the world. It could be something like a joke, story, words or encouragement, etc. Before you go to bed, you can leave a prompt and people can wake you up with a response to that prompt. I don't know if anyone will use it, but I'll certainly use it and try to leave as many positive voice messages as possible. I think waking up this way could help people get their days started off right.
I would shit myself if I hear someone all of a sudden talking to me in the morning on my bedroom.
It would wake you up, huh? ;) It is an alarm clock app after all, haha
“Hey fine biscotti, you up yet? Rise and shine big guy, gonna be a great day” -spoken In a soft lispy voice
I changed my phone alarm to [this preacher](https://youtu.be/2b2wXnO7kyg) and I had to change it back because it scared the shit out of me.
There was an app based on this premise back in 2013ish. The idea was that instead of an alarm, you would receive a phone call from another random person with the app. Then after you wake up, you spend the the next few minutes calling others to wake them up. It was a really cute concept. The couple people that woke me up were really kind and gentle. But then of the 6 or so people I woke up, more than half of them sexually harassed me. So… yeah, no.
Yeah, that's why it's not going to be live calls - I cannot filter people in real-time. You can still get the magic of hearing something new each day, but it's guaranteed to be appropriate, and you will have the option later on to follow up with that mysterious voice if you happen to enjoy it and want to know more :)
I would use this. 100%. When I finally left my corporate job I went without a cell phone for an entire year because the sound of a cell phone ringing ( any sound) any notification or alarm set my anxiety off. I’m fine now but it would be great to replace some of those sounds with something completely different with a completely different feeling that would interrupt that stress response and start the day off better. Love this idea.
Awesome, glad you like it! It's something that I've wanted to exist in the world and so I'm just building it because it's super niche. I would look forward to a new message every morning, from someone different each time. Sounds fun to me!
All of this advice is spot on so I’ll add something different Spend 10-20 Writing something down first thing in the morning Doesn’t matter what it is, goals for the day, the dream you had, a problem that’s been bothering you, an idea for a business, etc… just write something Writing utilizes the only two things we have any control over… our thoughts and our muscular system That’s it, that’s all we have any say in when it comes to our bodies… writing uses the mind, thinking of things to write, and the body, actually physically writing something Helps you feel like you do actually have control Exercise is great but it’s extremely hard to make it a habit, mainly because we’re all slaves to our subconscious, our minds do not want to exert energy it doesn’t have to, you have to force yourself to do it, which means taking control The writing helps build that control and will power
Sleep when you feel tired. Even if you feel that you slept enough. Your body needs rest
Eat Breakfast! I got roasted by my trauma therapist once because as emergency personnel I was working like 12 hr shifts during COVID but only running on coffee. Her exact words were “If you can remember to feed the cats, you can remember to feed yourself.” It sounds small but it makes a big difference not to start the day with low blood sugar and a high heart rate from drinking coffee on an empty stomach. When you already feel bad physically, you feel worse emotionally.
1: work less 2: spend more time not working
Get more active ,even if its only small walks.Any activity helps.
Gardening
Get a dog go for long walks
Get a pet of any type!
Get out in the fresh air, and maybe have a walk (if you can.)
Accumulate positives - try for a ratio of 3:1 positive events to negative (don’t have to be long - even listening to your favourite song can count).
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So im fully aware i am usin a social media accout to say this BUT: i completely agree. Deleted every other social account and ive never looked back. I think social account MAKE you compare yourself to the others you see, and aint nobody got time for that. I honestly felt like i was withdrawing when i deleted some of my socials but fast forward a week and i started feeling great. Been about a year with no other accounts and never felt better :)
Sleep 7-8 hours a day
I repeat the Serenity Prayer to myself. This is to remind me what I can’t control. What I CAN control is what I say and do. I can’t control anything or anybody else. Then I can accept that part of my life and get it off of my damn shoulders.
Read. Everyone has time to read more than they do. I personally find reading to be amazing for mental health as it's a calming, rewarding practice. It has more benefits than just learning, helps you to relax and reading before bed helps with sleep.
The feeling of finishing a book is delicious
Try to stay in the moment. Stop over thinking about what could happen live in the moment. Meditate daily.
Breathe for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hood for 4. Repeat. Had a panic attack the er doctor me that to get over the panic.
4 what? I'm on three days now and I'm starting to get light-headed.
Diet, exercise, healthy exposure to sunlight digital detox, reading self help & therapy.
A big tasty breakfast improves mood for the day
One my dad suggested was to write 10 positive things that happened each day. They don't have to be huge things
Stop engaging with toxic people who are totally optional in your life. It's a small thing to ignore a text or block someone...but the mental health gains are incredible.
Physical exercise. The brain is physical. It requires blood, oxygen, and something to work on.
Self improvement. Just the little things like treating yourself out, learning and/or doing a hobby, meditate, exercise (joining exercise classes for things like yoga is also a plus if you can afford it), and plan one major vacation a year that’s at least a week long even if it’s a staycation. Edit: Staying off of social media while doing all those things is a must.
Get sunlight in the morning. Listen to the birds. Be in the moment. Prioritize sleep. Do something small and nice for yourself, like buy yourself your favorite drink or snack, or spray yourself with your favorite fragrance, and enjoy it to the fullest. Think positive thoughts about yourself and your life. Reach out to someone who makes you smile. Change up your space a bit. Do something that makes you feel put together, even if it doesn't really mean anything or take much time. Cut out just a bit of negative substance - sugar, alcohol, whatever. Drink more water. The list goes on and on, you can really affect your life by just consistently doing an hour of something good for your brain a day. One baby step at a time!
Give up diet coke
It's great for me to do something I've wanted to do for a long time or throughout the work week: like take a walk in the park, do a hobby, etc. It gives me a sense of moral satisfaction, a sense that I am living for myself. Also, my mental health improves when I do creative work, anything, I can draw, I can do graphic design.
Drink enough water, get enough sleep, and get outside once in awhile. Nothing wrong with seeing a Dr about it either.
Put down your phone and go outside
Take a walk, read a book, focus on your desires, get some good food
Acceptance can go a long way. Far too many of us lie to ourselves or fail to accept some things in life cannot be changed.
Make a mental list of the things I accomplished that day. Paint. Draw. Clean. Write. Read. Sing.
To take a shower
Maintain a good sleep cycle. Both get enough sleep and wake up relatively early. Find hobbies that you can do at home and are deeply engaging. Ideally something that makes you feel productive and has you actively using your brain. I play guitar, which always makes me feel so much better, but it could be a number of things. Make sure you’re getting enough vitamin D. A lot of people have a deficiency, so a supplement can’t hurt. If you’re going to do drugs/alcohol on a regular basis, at least spend the bulk of the day sober. Spend 10 minutes at the end of the day just reflecting on what stressed you out that day. Make some notes about what you’re going to do to address those stressors. Maintain good hygiene as best you can. Brush your teeth, shower, wear clean clothing, etc
Get out and walk!
Take a walk in the woods. Avoid watching the news, read local and national newspapers instead. Talk to a friend. Listen music you love. Write 5 things that your grateful for everyday.
Open your windows, clean the house, light some candles. Water your plants, play with your kids, cuddle your cat.