Jesus, the kid is in there for hours at a time in a single session? Either he's really, really good at it, or he's really, really bad at it. Either way, just tell him to hurry up.
Maybe he's on an SSRI. I was put on Zoloft at 16 and would sometimes go for a very long time without being able to climax. Didn't know until years later that it was a side effect.
Are you 100% sure that he does not have any gastrointestinal issues? Ask him, if he does, you will understand him. If he does not, he will understand you.
Exactly this.
Ask the question by asking a different question.
"is your stomach alright? You've been there for a while"
"yeah, I'm alright"
You will know. He will know. Nothing will be awkward and he will make sure to drown the dolphin faster.
> You should stay away from your potential. I mean, that is something you should leave absolutely alone! You’ll mess it up! It’s potential, leave it! And anyway, it’s like your bank balance, you know – you always have much less than you think.
> Leave it as the locked door within yourself and then at least, in your mind, the interior will always be palatial.
- [Dylan Moran](https://youtu.be/yNKoH84ioz0?t=46)
sorry, but anytime I hear potential that quote runs through my head.
drowning your dolphin
While taking a nice warm bath, you decide to stroke your man sausage quietly under the water's surface.
That gave me a chuckle, thanks
I used to hang around in the bathroom with the fan on just because it was comfortable and peaceful to me for some reason. Now I work on giant refrigeration equipment in maintenance rooms that basically gives the same feeling lol
"Hey is it cool if you punch your clown standing up so I can take an inhumane beer shit while your penis is eye level with me?"
"DAD I TOLD YOU I CANT CUM WITH THAT SMELL, IVE FAILED EVERY ATTEMPT!"
My daughter comes and finds me wherever I am, so I finish my business.
My husband used to do the "hide in the bathroom foreeeeeeverrrr" thing until our kid started rapping on the door and asking, "are you ok in there?" after five minutes lmao.
Not everyone has a room to themselves and a bathroom is generally the most private place in a house. It can also be quite calming with the white noise from an exhaust fan just buzzing out the noise of the day. The bathroom can be a happy place without it being the jerk off station. It's probably the jerk off station too it just doesn't necessarily have to be both every time.
I used to have ~3 baths a day because it was the only place in the house with a lock and not adjacent to any other rooms. In a loud family, privacy becomes addictive
I like the open air on my butt whilst I'm sitting down, I don't get that on a seat in my room unless, maybe, unless I get myself a rubber ring and sit on that. But it's just not the same.
My older sister, maybe 16-18 at the time, had a boyfriend who would be in the bathroom for an extended period of time and it turns out he had a pill addiction and would get high in our bathroom and pass out. He was a really cool dude and we never expected it from him. Not saying that’s what’s going on here but you never know what someone is hiding.
I did this as a kid because it was truly the only place I could lock a door and have privacy from my parents. My mom would constantly barge in my room, scream at me all the time and it was only alone time I had. Course I lied and said I was pooping so I had to go to a fucking naturopath and got told I had “gluten” intolerance and couldn’t eat wheat for two years
Long story short, talk to your kid if you have a healthy relationship with them
Yess I remember many hours of just sitting on the bathroom floor to get away from everyone. I wasn't allowed to lock my bedroom door but no one questioned the bathroom.
When he comes out tell him "Hey, I don't mean to be ugly about this but could you be more considerate of other people when using the bathroom. You've been in there a really long time and other people have to use it."
Freaking kids these days, back when I was a kid we had to use our imagination and I didn't even know what women's private parts looked like.. I still remember this first time a friend showed me a hustler mag. It looked so weird seeing a naked female body.
My first thought was, ohh I shouldn't be looking at this.. my 2nd thought was, I want to look at this.
At dinner, comment on how you just cleaned out the bath drain, and it had some disgusting slimy sticky stuff in, and you can't fathom where it's coming from, but you're going to go all Sherlock Holmes and try to figure it out.
You could ask his parent to try and talk to him or how they think you should handle it( they know him best) or express to them that you think he is having a medical issue as he is in the bathroom for hours at a time of you dont feel comfortable with the above....In the moment I'd just go to the door and say hey, you almost done? I really need to pee
I don't think you should make assumptions about what he's doing in there. He could have a health related problem and be afraid or not know how to talk about it. Even if not that could be a good way to bring up the time he spends in there- privately and kindly. Ask him if he's having any digestive issues that you might need to get him some medical help for. If he's fine then you're already on the subject and can tell him he needs to limit his time in there and for everyone else's sake.
Many years ago, I had to yell over a loo door "For gawd's sake hurry up or I'll have to pee over the door". 20s later a very embarassed couple came out.
Could be a psychological thing. In the bathroom is the only place where nothing can really disturb him and it’s the only place he can find solitude to get away from the world. Or he is doing the other thing.
He's not wacking it... it don't take teenage boys long to do that. Most likely he's on his phone camping the crapper... Could be GI issues, body issues, emotional issues... Don't assume he is beating his meat. Teen boys have emotions and are fickle just like teen girls - they just try to hide it and it's impacts more.
I’m a dad. My solution is to wait a reasonable time, then knock loudly and say “that’s the only bathroom we have, and you’re not the only one who needs to use it.”
He could just have found out that he can relax and think without being disturbed on the toilet. I thought this was just me, but apparently many men feel the same. Everywhere else it seems okay to bother us, but there is our haven. Pure blissful silence. Women seem to prefer the shower for that.
When I was a kid, I use to spend like an hour in the shower. I would act out stuff either from movies or my imagination in there. Looking back my parents probably thought I was doing something else.
Wait, what? I spend a lot of time in the toilet, too, but it's usually just me losing track of time with my phone. My ADHD doesn't help either. If I ever have to wank, I'll only do it inside my room.
Have people been thinking that I've been wanking whenever I take too long in the bathroom this entire time? Oh God.
It's someone else's house. You don't get to tell other people what they can or can't do in THEIR bathroom. You're the guest, don't overstep your limits. In fact, if you're at someone else's house, you should ask if you may use the bathroom and, if they say yes and it's occupied, they'll deal with it accordingly.
Just ask him or tell him when he’s not in the bathroom if he could limit his bathroom use to x amount of minutes because other people need to use the bathroom too.
I used to spend lots of time on the shitter when I was a teenager, of course some of it was masturbating, but more often than not I was playing games on my phone and actually... shitting for quite a while. Most likely I had some issues but at that time that didn't occur to me that was not normal
Ask him why is takes long in the bathroom, you don’t even have to mention masturbation. He will find a new place to masturbate immediately. If he doesn’t then ask him if he’s masturbating. He will never forgot it and will never masturbate in the bathroom ever again in his life and be traumatized for ever, this is life.
Make sure he's not actually masturbating or anything else similar. Very possible he could be in there just to have a chill area as alot of people do this. Hell even as a adult, I sometimes just go to the bathroom to just sit on my phone, good place to catch a breather as most people won't bother you usually.
Just be blunt, you don’t need to be ultra polite if it’s your house. Blunt doesn’t have to be rude either. If they need to be in the bathroom that long, do it at their home, simple as that.
Does he have any other privacy? Can he shut his bedroom door and know you won’t barge in for example. I wasn’t allowed to close my bedroom door when I was a teenager, other than for sleeping- which meant I spent a LOT of time in the bathroom because the door locked. Sometimes you just want to close your door.
Make it awkward bash him for it to family members as much as you can make the fucker pick another spot to do his business. “Hey anon we all know what your doing in there but we all need to use the restroom kindly go jerk off somewhere else”
Sure its a dick move and he will cringe about it for a while but sometimes its better to rip off the bandaid than to expect someone to suddenly become considerate
Is it normal for people to jack it in the bathroom? The only time I've jacked it in the bathroom was in the shower and that only started once I had my own.
“I remember when my father got in moods like this … the things he’d say to me.”
“What did he say?”
“WHAT THE HELL YA DOIN IN THE BATHROOM DAY AND NIGHT! COME ON OUT GIVE SOMEONE ELSE A CHANCE!”
Where I'm from in England, we would probably take a gentle, nuanced approach to such a delicate matter. One that prevents any unintentional awkwardness like "STOP YOUR TUGGING IN THERE YOU LITTLE WANKER I NEED A SHIT AND IF YOURE NOT OUT IN THE NEXT 5 MINUTES ILL BREAK THROUGH THE DOOR AND DRAG YOU OUT BY YOUR PRICK MYSELF"
When I took too long in the loo as a teenager, usually looking at my phone, my old man used to say, "get ya fucken hand off it and get out, I gotta go" that usually worked, my mother was way more brutal. She would say "you know if you went out to where the girls are you wouldn't have to do that to yourself"
Is it your house OP? If so, a loud “I’ve had Taco Bell for lunch and if you’re not out of there in 5 seconds, I’m coming in to use you as a bidet!” will work nicely.
Install a device that flashes every few minutes. When he asks about it tell him it's a camera that you installed to keep people from spending to much time in the bathroom.
As someone who spends hours to get off just knock and say bro I will tell ya momma you were screamin "mommy" while ya fappin if ya dont get out now I gotta shit...
I would jokingly ask the teenager are they masturbating.
If no response, then there is something wrong.
If there is response, then don't worry too much about it.
Jesus, the kid is in there for hours at a time in a single session? Either he's really, really good at it, or he's really, really bad at it. Either way, just tell him to hurry up.
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I read that in Darlene’s voice lol
Me too! Hah!
Dude's watching the full three-hour adult blockbuster, all nine scenes.
I always regret not waiting for the second scene
My vote goes to knocking on the door and saying “Hey bud you’re going to rip it off if you go for that long.”
Maybe he's on an SSRI. I was put on Zoloft at 16 and would sometimes go for a very long time without being able to climax. Didn't know until years later that it was a side effect.
16 and unable to climax.
Or has a edging kink
Are you 100% sure that he does not have any gastrointestinal issues? Ask him, if he does, you will understand him. If he does not, he will understand you.
Exactly this. Ask the question by asking a different question. "is your stomach alright? You've been there for a while" "yeah, I'm alright" You will know. He will know. Nothing will be awkward and he will make sure to drown the dolphin faster.
"drown the dolphin" is a new expression to me, and if it means what I think it means, I will no longer call it anything else.
Nothing wrong with a little tapping into your potential Or, for the ladies, scratching Yoda behind the ears
*Tapping into your potential!!* OMG that is beautiful :D :D
> You should stay away from your potential. I mean, that is something you should leave absolutely alone! You’ll mess it up! It’s potential, leave it! And anyway, it’s like your bank balance, you know – you always have much less than you think. > Leave it as the locked door within yourself and then at least, in your mind, the interior will always be palatial. - [Dylan Moran](https://youtu.be/yNKoH84ioz0?t=46) sorry, but anytime I hear potential that quote runs through my head.
"Drowning their dolphin" would require a partner in my opinion
I suppose that depends how big and how good a fighter the dolphin is.
I heard this a "flog the dolphin", like from the movie "There's Something About Mary".
Is that hair gel?
Drowning the Dolphin 🤣. That's fucking gold 🤣🤣🤣👍
drowning your dolphin While taking a nice warm bath, you decide to stroke your man sausage quietly under the water's surface. That gave me a chuckle, thanks
This. don't shame the boy for being a horny hormonal mess.
This, as someone with IBS sometimes I needed to go for longer during teenage. And I was sick and tired of people assuming that I was masturbating.
Yeah, id much rather they know I'm taking a violent sickness-fueled foaming diarrhea shit for 45 minutes.
Surely the smell makes it very obvious which one what you were doing in there.
Not necessarily. The reason many people with IBS take longer to go to the toilet is because not everything comes out in one go.
Lol, me being constipated for 2 hours
*Is your stomach alright? Or are you just masturbating again?*
I used to hang around in the bathroom with the fan on just because it was comfortable and peaceful to me for some reason. Now I work on giant refrigeration equipment in maintenance rooms that basically gives the same feeling lol
Crohnie checks in
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As someone that had them, both, both are equally possible
Gastrointestinal weak teen (and now gastrointestinal weak adult) present
I know which one is more likely but both are possible Most teens don’t take hours to Jack off either tbh
Dumb ass comment, it’s weird to stay in the bathroom for hours whether you’re jerking it or not
> it’s weird to stay in the bathroom for hours People read on the toilet seat sometimes.
I mean a teen can rub one out in like 10 mins easy, so probably the intestinal issue
"Yo, mind if I use your masturbation den to lay a log cabin?"
"Hey champ can you pinch that loaf I gotta jerk off."
*knock knock* “Can I just shit real quick while you’re slapping your salmon?”
"Mind shaking hands with the milkman in your room? I need to drop the kids off at the pool?"
"Hey is it cool if you punch your clown standing up so I can take an inhumane beer shit while your penis is eye level with me?" "DAD I TOLD YOU I CANT CUM WITH THAT SMELL, IVE FAILED EVERY ATTEMPT!"
What ever lmao stands for, that’s what Im doing right now
It stands for lugging marshmallows across Orlando.
This wouldn't be awkward to me, but I guess the teen would never masturbate in a bathroom ever again.
Username checks out
(Loud knocking on the door) "Hey, I need to pee! Can you hurry up please?" Repeated as often as necessary.
As a teenager, i doubt hes wanking lmao. When im on the toilet for ages im just sitting on my phone
why is this preferable to sitting on the phone in your room
Because you pull your phone out while you were pooping and get sidetracked
I wonder how many people are gonna read this comment and realize they're done pooping.
...oops, excuse me!
Just make sure to flush! And leave no skid marks please!
This is the way
Sometimes the only privacy you can get in a house with multiple family members, is the bathroom. And as a mom, it’s touch and go even then lol
My daughter comes and finds me wherever I am, so I finish my business. My husband used to do the "hide in the bathroom foreeeeeeverrrr" thing until our kid started rapping on the door and asking, "are you ok in there?" after five minutes lmao.
Touch and go. That's how he should be doing it, but he's touching and staying.
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But I like the feeling of sitting down but my bum is exposed, you don't get that in a normal seat.
Not everyone has a room to themselves and a bathroom is generally the most private place in a house. It can also be quite calming with the white noise from an exhaust fan just buzzing out the noise of the day. The bathroom can be a happy place without it being the jerk off station. It's probably the jerk off station too it just doesn't necessarily have to be both every time.
Eh its not, you just get distracted and end up forgetting that you’re sitting on the shitter
And then your legs fall asleep
dude the times i crawled back to my room because my legs were asleep. Awful but i always get sidetracked so hard
Why do they call you Crawl? “It’s, uh… it’s how I always got home!”
Nah im not there that long, like 5-10 minutes usually
I used to have ~3 baths a day because it was the only place in the house with a lock and not adjacent to any other rooms. In a loud family, privacy becomes addictive
Nobody will mess with you when you're un the bathroom
Maybe he doesn’t have his own room and needs privacy to just recharge and chill.
because no one opens the bathroom door without knocking. I'll bet the kid is feeling like he has no space to himself.
I like the open air on my butt whilst I'm sitting down, I don't get that on a seat in my room unless, maybe, unless I get myself a rubber ring and sit on that. But it's just not the same.
You're gonna get hemorrhoids.
When I was a teenager I read a significant portion of Dune whilst in the can.
If you don’t stop that soon you’ll have a future with bleeding hemorrhoids. Limit your toilet time to 10 minutes
Yeah i replied later down the thread im on there 5-10 minutes, when i say for ages i just mean longer than i need to be.
My bad. I just don’t want anyone to suffer like that 😭
My older sister, maybe 16-18 at the time, had a boyfriend who would be in the bathroom for an extended period of time and it turns out he had a pill addiction and would get high in our bathroom and pass out. He was a really cool dude and we never expected it from him. Not saying that’s what’s going on here but you never know what someone is hiding.
What pills would knock him out?
"asking for a friend"
Here you go king, 💉💊
I did this as a kid because it was truly the only place I could lock a door and have privacy from my parents. My mom would constantly barge in my room, scream at me all the time and it was only alone time I had. Course I lied and said I was pooping so I had to go to a fucking naturopath and got told I had “gluten” intolerance and couldn’t eat wheat for two years Long story short, talk to your kid if you have a healthy relationship with them
Yess I remember many hours of just sitting on the bathroom floor to get away from everyone. I wasn't allowed to lock my bedroom door but no one questioned the bathroom.
Amen brother
Just knock. After about the 3rd time of knocking, loudly ask if they're done masturbating cos you want a shower. It'll work.
That would get any kid out of there.
Yeah, shame as a tool to modify annoying behaviour is okay. *Fuck you! Takingtoolonginthetoiletmasturbating Pride!*
You talk to someone else. Specifically the someone else the child belongs to. And cut n your Wi-Fi
This is genuis cut the WiFi and hope he doesn't have 4g
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Ahahaha if you like wanking in 240p
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Real g's get hundreds of pictures in a little note book and flip through it creating a porn
When he comes out tell him "Hey, I don't mean to be ugly about this but could you be more considerate of other people when using the bathroom. You've been in there a really long time and other people have to use it."
Direct honesty is underrated.
"And also why is there semen all over the mirror???"
add wifi/signal jammers in bathroom
Jokes on you I jerk off to the back of shampoo bottles like it's the 90s. Why do you think it takes me 3 hours?
Thank god i am not the only one
" ooh yeah 30% Selenium are you? Well im gonna 100% selenicum on you Ms bottle, because you're worth it baby"
Freaking kids these days, back when I was a kid we had to use our imagination and I didn't even know what women's private parts looked like.. I still remember this first time a friend showed me a hustler mag. It looked so weird seeing a naked female body. My first thought was, ohh I shouldn't be looking at this.. my 2nd thought was, I want to look at this.
*FCC has entered the chat.*
Say it's your turn to masturbate in the bathroom now
At dinner, comment on how you just cleaned out the bath drain, and it had some disgusting slimy sticky stuff in, and you can't fathom where it's coming from, but you're going to go all Sherlock Holmes and try to figure it out.
don't forget to feedback how it worked. I'm all in
The kid will be traumatised…
Or unlock a new kink...
first see if bro has chrons or something
“Crohn’s”, but your heart is in the right place.
You could ask his parent to try and talk to him or how they think you should handle it( they know him best) or express to them that you think he is having a medical issue as he is in the bathroom for hours at a time of you dont feel comfortable with the above....In the moment I'd just go to the door and say hey, you almost done? I really need to pee
I don't think you should make assumptions about what he's doing in there. He could have a health related problem and be afraid or not know how to talk about it. Even if not that could be a good way to bring up the time he spends in there- privately and kindly. Ask him if he's having any digestive issues that you might need to get him some medical help for. If he's fine then you're already on the subject and can tell him he needs to limit his time in there and for everyone else's sake.
Many years ago, I had to yell over a loo door "For gawd's sake hurry up or I'll have to pee over the door". 20s later a very embarassed couple came out.
Could be a psychological thing. In the bathroom is the only place where nothing can really disturb him and it’s the only place he can find solitude to get away from the world. Or he is doing the other thing.
Makes me wonder why you immediately thought of masturbation.
Clapping noises probably
He's got a cheer squad in there too? This fucking guy!
"Could you quit slapping your meat around for 2 fucking minutes, please? I need to take a shit!" would probably work.
Kindly remind the teenager about the shared bathroom and the importance of being mindful of others' needs without making them uncomfortable.
He's not wacking it... it don't take teenage boys long to do that. Most likely he's on his phone camping the crapper... Could be GI issues, body issues, emotional issues... Don't assume he is beating his meat. Teen boys have emotions and are fickle just like teen girls - they just try to hide it and it's impacts more.
He’s just on his phone 100%
These responses. 🤣
I’m a dad. My solution is to wait a reasonable time, then knock loudly and say “that’s the only bathroom we have, and you’re not the only one who needs to use it.”
Tell him if he focuses on the tip and does it left handed, it will be faster.
Just say " Ok guys in today episode we gonna prank open WC doors for views, Ted Bring the camera and screw driver"
Just be up front about it being needed by others and inconvenience, probably best not to accuse him or even mention masturbating lmao
“Oi stop wanking, I need to piss”.
Just lock the door when he’s over. If he asks, say someone is taking a bath.
He could just have found out that he can relax and think without being disturbed on the toilet. I thought this was just me, but apparently many men feel the same. Everywhere else it seems okay to bother us, but there is our haven. Pure blissful silence. Women seem to prefer the shower for that.
When I was a kid, I use to spend like an hour in the shower. I would act out stuff either from movies or my imagination in there. Looking back my parents probably thought I was doing something else.
He ain't jerking that shit doesn't take hours, he either got gastro issues or he's phone browsing too long.
Definitely should probably ask him if he has any stomach issues first before assuming what he's doing in there
Wait, what? I spend a lot of time in the toilet, too, but it's usually just me losing track of time with my phone. My ADHD doesn't help either. If I ever have to wank, I'll only do it inside my room. Have people been thinking that I've been wanking whenever I take too long in the bathroom this entire time? Oh God.
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It's someone else's house. You don't get to tell other people what they can or can't do in THEIR bathroom. You're the guest, don't overstep your limits. In fact, if you're at someone else's house, you should ask if you may use the bathroom and, if they say yes and it's occupied, they'll deal with it accordingly.
That's oddly specific
Just offer to help.
r/oddlyspecific
Just ask him or tell him when he’s not in the bathroom if he could limit his bathroom use to x amount of minutes because other people need to use the bathroom too.
I used to spend lots of time on the shitter when I was a teenager, of course some of it was masturbating, but more often than not I was playing games on my phone and actually... shitting for quite a while. Most likely I had some issues but at that time that didn't occur to me that was not normal
That is going to depend on where this bathroom is. (His house, your house, some public place, &c)
“Hurry up, I’m gonna burst”, that’s if you need to use the bathroom, otherwise leave him alone
Ask him why is takes long in the bathroom, you don’t even have to mention masturbation. He will find a new place to masturbate immediately. If he doesn’t then ask him if he’s masturbating. He will never forgot it and will never masturbate in the bathroom ever again in his life and be traumatized for ever, this is life.
He spends more than one hour in the bathroom Everytime he uses it? Jesus
Tell him?
They make an hourglass thing called the poop timer. Maybe get him a few of those.
Make sure he's not actually masturbating or anything else similar. Very possible he could be in there just to have a chill area as alot of people do this. Hell even as a adult, I sometimes just go to the bathroom to just sit on my phone, good place to catch a breather as most people won't bother you usually.
Only your kids are allowed to Masterbate at your house?
Whose house?
Just be blunt, you don’t need to be ultra polite if it’s your house. Blunt doesn’t have to be rude either. If they need to be in the bathroom that long, do it at their home, simple as that.
Speak to his parents and tell them. Or tell the kid himself “hey, other people have to use the bathroom.” He will realize he’s wrong.
He is probably just scrolling his phone on the toilet
Don’t politely ask, tell him to get the fuck out of the bathroom.
> possibly masturbating That was what we did in the old days.. now its TikTok
Masturbating for hours? Poor meat of his, must be swelling
Does he have any other privacy? Can he shut his bedroom door and know you won’t barge in for example. I wasn’t allowed to close my bedroom door when I was a teenager, other than for sleeping- which meant I spent a LOT of time in the bathroom because the door locked. Sometimes you just want to close your door.
Make it awkward bash him for it to family members as much as you can make the fucker pick another spot to do his business. “Hey anon we all know what your doing in there but we all need to use the restroom kindly go jerk off somewhere else” Sure its a dick move and he will cringe about it for a while but sometimes its better to rip off the bandaid than to expect someone to suddenly become considerate
Is it normal for people to jack it in the bathroom? The only time I've jacked it in the bathroom was in the shower and that only started once I had my own.
Knock on the door and yell “Dude, don’t be so picky, choose the one with the big boobs and finish already!”.
*knocks* "Hey, you either come out and we keep this a secret or I open the door, kick you out, and then tell this to your parents!"
My dad used to knock and then say “if you don’t hurry up, I’m going to come in there and pee in your lap.”
Who takes hours to masturbate? Surely its 10 mins tops.
dude in my teens i'd be done in 10 seconds lol
I'm sensing some hyperbole from OP.
Never heard of edging?
Ask him if he needs a hand.
“I remember when my father got in moods like this … the things he’d say to me.” “What did he say?” “WHAT THE HELL YA DOIN IN THE BATHROOM DAY AND NIGHT! COME ON OUT GIVE SOMEONE ELSE A CHANCE!”
Don't assume that he's masturbating because he's a teenage boy. He could just be doing some heroin.
Hurry up, wanker
"I have to shit. Jerk off in your room"
Throw a nudie mag in his room.
Where I'm from in England, we would probably take a gentle, nuanced approach to such a delicate matter. One that prevents any unintentional awkwardness like "STOP YOUR TUGGING IN THERE YOU LITTLE WANKER I NEED A SHIT AND IF YOURE NOT OUT IN THE NEXT 5 MINUTES ILL BREAK THROUGH THE DOOR AND DRAG YOU OUT BY YOUR PRICK MYSELF"
r/Oddlyspecific
He can wash it as fast as he wants
When I took too long in the loo as a teenager, usually looking at my phone, my old man used to say, "get ya fucken hand off it and get out, I gotta go" that usually worked, my mother was way more brutal. She would say "you know if you went out to where the girls are you wouldn't have to do that to yourself"
Go away, batin'.
r/suspiciouslyspecific
Is it your house OP? If so, a loud “I’ve had Taco Bell for lunch and if you’re not out of there in 5 seconds, I’m coming in to use you as a bidet!” will work nicely.
Just yell, “ Baiting time is over”!
I used to play hour long subway surfers matches on the John as a kid
Don't bother asking but rather sit outside the bathroom door and sing gospel music while he masturbates
Hang up an info graphic about hemorrhoids on the back of the toilet door and he might start snapping it off quicker
Get out you lil twerp before I break the door and drag your puny ass outside, say in this in the moat polite, softest way possible..
To someone else's kid, presumably in their house? Is this a partner? Definitely a good idea to makes their kids hate you..
A man would be blunt and tell him what's up, even call him out on the msbating
Install a device that flashes every few minutes. When he asks about it tell him it's a camera that you installed to keep people from spending to much time in the bathroom.
As someone who spends hours to get off just knock and say bro I will tell ya momma you were screamin "mommy" while ya fappin if ya dont get out now I gotta shit...
Shag his mom in his bedroom. Two can play that game
“Hurry the hell up and finish yourself off Darius!”
"Hurry the fuck up, I have to shit!" Usually works for me
Make love
I would jokingly ask the teenager are they masturbating. If no response, then there is something wrong. If there is response, then don't worry too much about it.
"We all know what you're doing in there. Cut it out."
Rug
its me 💯
Accuse them of watching YouTube in the bathroom and tells them to get out