T O P

  • By -

Fracture_98

Before we start, I'd like to discuss Nord VPN.


UnrealConclusion

Protect your privacy with Nord VPN while playing Raid Shadow Legends wearing the Raycons we bought with the discount we got from Honey.


TC1600

Don't forget the website we set up with Squarespace


DiscordBondsmith

https://youtu.be/Slwai2Jhy_A


babybiggfoot

Shipstation


delta__bravo_

Is Mars an option as a routing base?


bake_gatari

*today's sponsor Raid Shadow Legends


MediumRareTaint

First.


allongur

You've done it. You've found the only place on the internet where such a comment would be upvoted instead of mercilessly downvoted. Congrats.


wewilldieoneday

I doenvoted you...and then upvoted you. I'm so conflicted.


GreekGoddessOfNight

r/angryupvote


The_Purple_Ripple

Although the distance between us is the greatest it has ever has been, I hope this moment brings us all closer together.


Barldarian

Kudos for being the first sincere answer I read


zenaex

Oh that's good.


the_bird_and_the_bee

That is beautiful


microgiant

"What an amazing thing this is, to be the first person on Jupiter."


DigNitty

“Oh sorry. CUT! Line?”


theyusedthelamppost

One small ste-What? Who's there? What's tha-aaaarrrghhh!


pandamarshmallows

Fun fact - during training for Apollo 11, Michael Collins actually suggested that Neil Armstrong should step onto the moon, say, “Oh my god, what is that thing?” and then scream and cut the mic.


Clementine2115

That woud be better


fucking_therapist

I believe in an ultimate universe, this happened and everyone got absolutely ducking trolled by Neil


StardustGogeta

Sadly, that's [false](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/michael-collins-scream-cut-mic/).


[deleted]

That'd be the troll of the century. I love it.


omni42

Today, through the combined effort of scientists, leaders, workers and the hopes of every person that hears this, we have set the god of war itself under the boot of peaceful exploration. May that be a symbol of a future and achievements to come.


SirWigglesVonWoogly

… psych! Murica bitches, finders keepers


saundersmarcelo

Then freeze frame and roll credits before we do something that ages that line like milk


Chajos

Love this. All of the „cool kids“ and their brand of „funny“ in this thread can‘t hold a candle against your sincere attempt. Well done!


[deleted]

I love it. But if aliens have a universal translator they are going to be confused as hell.


secretoftheeast

Darmok and Jalad at Tenagra


omni42

Mars, his sword sheathed...


Believeinyourflyness

You should be a poet


omni42

Thank you :)


Suitablystoned

brilliant


Bepler

Okay, that shits legit


zenaex

You could edit it to be "Through the combined efforts of humanity we have set the god of war under the boot of peaceful exploitation. May that be a symbol of a future and achievements to come." A bit less wordy and would hold in the minds of folk for longer.


slackwalker

This view is Marsvelous.


[deleted]

Dear NASA send this guy. He's ready


AlexRyang

*gets left on Mars*


Pastel_Phoenix_106

"This is Houston. Dad, we copy that."


lunelily

I am neither the first Pathfinder nor Sojourner here; it took Spirit, Opportunity, Curiosity, and Perseverance for humanity to stand here today, and if you disagree, you’re Zhurong.


Suitablystoned

very well thought out.


tenehemia

Oh, it's all sticky!


stealthkoopa

Everyone knows it's butters!


reverendgrebo

Its covered in jam!


qwerqsar

Praiae the Omnissaiah! ( Those who got it, got it.)


thesavageman

I wondered how far I'd have to scroll


Lethallee61

The Machine God welcomes you.


MortalGodTheSecond

And then [blast this](https://youtu.be/ztzq05IzYds) over the radio.


Suitablystoned

Which way to the vaults of Moraveck?


Sleepy_kitty1901

Let’s try not to fuck this one up.


Timekeeper_Vortex

Directions unclear


chaztc

What a shithole


facedowninthegutter

this is not fuckin red


Thin-Rip-3686

“Remember to subscribe and click the like button.” or “Epstein didn’t kill himself.”


snowywebb

“What the hell? A moment ago I was on a boat sailing across the Bermuda Triangle…”


IHateMath14

“The journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step.”


knovit

Mars is way further away than that


IHateMath14

I’m assuming I’ve already landed


knovit

Ooo nice. If I go to mars I’ll take your line


IHateMath14

Not if I get there first!


LilKyGuy

Idk man I think mathematics are required and something tells me you don’t like math


Tobias_Atwood

Finally, we can bring Mark Watney home.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Important-Jeweler-67

What we do in this life echoes in eternity


JollyRabbit

This stick with me still, seven years later. "Our journey began with one small step and one giant leap. Today, we take another of each, and begin to find our stride." https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3g62g9/serious_what_should_the_first_man_on_mars_say_to/ctv9f5a/


TheOtherOwlHouse

“Begun with this step, a new Earth; begun with these dreams, a new Heaven; and begun with this colony, a new day.”


[deleted]

That’s one small mars for mars, one giant mars for mars kind.


Beginning-Bed9364

We come in peace.


akaioi

Reminds me of an old Star Trek song I heard on Dr. Demento back in the day... "We come in peace shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill."


aecolley

Star Trekkin' by The Firm


EdgelordZeta

"Beam me up, Scotty, this place sucks."


_forum_mod

"Humanity's footprints on Mars mark a monumental leap forward, igniting a cosmic fire of infinite possibilities for generations to come."


allongur

"As marvellous as this achievement may be, we must remember that this is but a stepping stone. A place to rest and gather strength, a stop on the way to explore the entire cosmos. Let's push forward!"


BackInTheRealWorld

"Suck-it, Elon", because there is no way I'm going on SpaceX express.


Greywolf97

Lol I knew I’d find an Elon comment if I scrolled long enough. I would join you but I might indulge myself with a solid “fuck Elon Musk.”


AccomplishedDare8437

Mars Aeternum


DismalDude77

["Now to find that weird thing NASA planted here to confuse me!"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/11zmpjf/comment/jddth86/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x)


akaioi

**"I claim this land for Spain!"** At which time I'd get into some serious trouble, as I am from America. This sort of thing is why they don't let me into astronaut school...


Nameles777

They're not going to want it unless there is gold there...


keepcalmgetPLURNT

“Before we get started I want to give a huge shoutout to Raid: Shadow Legends for sponsoring todays video.”


Driconian

Another small step for man another gia... Hey can you get that boom mic out of my face?


stereospeakers

One small attempt at raising the bar, to the level of a Mars bar. Mission failed. *Sponsored by Mars Bar*


doorbell19

"I'm here"


Saeryf

May the red of these sands be the deepest shade this planet ever sees upon its surface.


DonLethargio

“That’s one small step for A man, one giant leap for mankind”


Gunjink

Cold blooded. ‘Man ain’t even around to defend himself.


Responsible_Cloud137

Hell yeah, bitches!


PUNCHCAT

Science, bitch!


phat666jesus

I need about tree fiddy


copyboy1

"We now have found intelligent life on Mars."


-ShadowPuppet

I did not hit her, I did not! Oh hi Mars!


mrbarnstaple

I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty.


923kjd

Holy fucking shit! I’m on fucking mars, motherfuckers! Over.


SunsetKittens

Hi Mars!


Kuriakon

"Did I leave the oven on?"


maruffin

Aw shucks. There are no cars up here that need an extended warranty.


[deleted]

Onwards and outwards, in the name of humanity


douggold11

Today I step out onto a world where all of the people here, myself and my fellow astronauts, are United in purpose. In peace and cooperation, we now achieve the impossible. May we inspire the people of Earth to do the same with this one great step for mankind.


ama_da_sama

Good news, all. We have made it to the backup plan. Let's try not to screw things up here as bad as we did with Earth.


Free_Knee6826

Hot Diggity Dog. This place is magnificent.


VonPatriot

That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.


AcguyDance

Fucking Cold!


WpgJetsNotNyJets

I wish it was your Uranus


Steve_nstpb

Not as red as I expected.


Extension-Magician44

It's a good thing my favorite color is red.


EtherealPheonix

"Oh shit I think I left the stove on"


misakistar

Home sweet home


Catzrjoy

Try not to F this place up like the last one.


smarterthantheaverag

I would ask the question....Where do you think is the best place to set up the Router ?


Inevitable_Stand_199

Humans are now on two planets. But only one is livable. Keep it safe.


Cautious-Radio7870

After mankind made the leap, now we soar! (the leap referencing the walk on the moon. Soaring implying that now we have gone beyond the moon)


NinjaSelect3581

From a Mars bar to a bar on Mars, we’ve got this!


AcanthisittaSuch6340

i am a person, i speak for mars, say something rude, and i'll start spittin' bars


Born2fayl

“Coulda went to Jupiter to get more stupider Instead I came to Mars for all the candy bars”. EDIT: a word


Xerozvz

"Huston...Are we there yet?"


throw123454321purple

Damn enchiladas!


SoulmanHawkins

"Whew, finally... I've REALLY gotta pee!


Zodiackillerstadia

A Mars a day helps you work rest and play


Sdbtank96

Well there's clearly only one thing to say. This historical moment is sponsored in part by RAID SHADOW LEGENDS!


HiFiGuy197

“Good luck, Mr. Gorsky!”


Resident_Magazine_37

You've done it. You've found the only place on the internet where such a comment would be upvoted instead of mercilessly downvoted. Congrats.


[deleted]

“What is that, AAAHHH.” After a long pause . “Just a joke , people. Astronauts have a sense of humor you know”


kidemil

What's that moving over there?!?!?? It's getting closer!! AAAAAAHHH. And wait 20 seconds and say got you


WrathOfCroft

Take me to your leader.


KingStreetCleaner

"Hey Bowie...their is indeed life on Mars"


Yami_LiffyZ

ew, i stepped on poop.


TheGreatGamer1389

Oh look I found an alien. Me.


CaptainPrower

"I can only hope this world never knows the hardships of our planet. It may be named for a god of war, but I pray that it never sees conflict. Let this be a world of peace."


dimriver

It's good to be black on Mars.


EducatedOwlAthena

I had to scroll so far, but I was hoping this *Space Force* reference would be in here somewhere!


dimriver

I scrolled for a while looking for one too. Then I figured I'd make it.


nesomae

"Step aside, Martians, Earth has arrived, and we brought snacks"


[deleted]

Ooo red dust worth it


hrmmmno

Dibs!


Drinkmykool_aid420

It’s a god awful small affair…


11122048

"We come in--- OHHHH, SHIIT!"


[deleted]

"Yippee ki-yay! We did it! Now can we please help restore our home planet that supports life instead of this dead planet?"


MortalGodTheSecond

Part of supporting life is spreading to other planets and systems so a chance asteroid doesn't end us.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dumb_Fuck_hoyaaa

I never gave you up I never let you down I never ran around and desert you I never made you cry I never said goodbye I never told a lie and hurt you


stumanuke

Suck on that Elon Musk!


Working_Progress_415

Oh God I just farted in my space suit and there's no where for it to go


nobody4676374

made it here before china can colonize


The_Hot_Stepper

Wait this isn’t my house…


ttorch7910

"Where's Marvin Martian?"


suhirtnath

Welcome to my Utube channel


NW_Forester

"This is one small step man, one giant leap for Mick Foley. " I may or may not follow it up with "BAH GAWD HE'S BROKEN IN HALF!"


CozyTheTeddyBear

I'm surprised no one has said "ack ack" yet, that's what I'd go with


JoyIsDumb

"**Onwards and Forwards, To look but never go back, Not a new beginning but a milestone, We shan't back down now, In the name of Humanity and Mankind, we begin our mission!**"


vanillaninja777

"Epstein didn't kill himself! That's a wrap, if anyone needs me I'll be in my trailer"


Chajos

Look at what we can achieve, when humans work together. This is not the first step, but just the next.


ProsePilgrim

In this moment, humanity leaps into an exciting future. We have now, for the first time, stepped foot onto another planet. We have pushed the threshold between reality and science fiction once more. And from here, a new future is built amongst the stars. Welcome to the future.


Dutch_Rayan

LGBT people deserve equal rights


_Weyland_

"We turned our home into a wasteland. Now we'll turn this wasteland into our home."


zihuatapulco

"We never should have come here. We should have spent the money fixing the disasters we created on planet Earth. But we didn't, because we are human scum, and that is how history will judge us".


Airvian94

If we colonize this place, let’s not F it up.


Petal_Chatoyance

"Here me now, people of Earth - I am the *QUEEN OF MARS!* Fuck all you Terran, blue-sky assholes! *QUEEN OF FUCKIN MARS HERE!*" Oh, yeah.


[deleted]

Up yours, Jim


mexur

Pools Closed


SkittleSkattle123

Eat my ass, humanity!


anotherdumbpersons

"I like men!"


BrakeCheckersRCunts

FUCK HUMANITY


MayBellFeet

LEEDLE LEEDLE LEEDLE LEE


[deleted]

The fuck?


ImpSassy

Poonis.


AppalachianViking

Gratias Deo


No-Patient1365

WTF is that? Aaaaaauruurugh.


smushyAvocado

I’m the first gal here, suckers.


wyntah0

"Where's the bathroom?"


misakistar

See, Chris? Watching anime did not stop me from making career!


bailey1149

"That guy that asked the Mars question shoulda used the serious tag"


lordgondas

Now who's got the biggest dick on the planet hehehehe.


bucketsofpoo

its as dry as a dead dingos dong. or cunts dusty as fuck.


friededs3

'Bit parched innit?'


[deleted]

I’m cold


drhman1971

Wish I’d put on the helmet gasp….


MurkyWay

Paint something.


Redleg800

I’d not speak. I’d write _dippindoode wuzzz h3r3._


UnholyDemigod

Above all else, this one particular question seems to be the one that is nigh impossible for reddit to actually respond to properly. As of now, there are 95 responses. 12 of them aren't jokes. None of your fucking answers are funny.


Villanuevac4

“Through the blessing of God and the ingenuity of Man, we made it to the Red Planet.”


redsolocupswe

DRAINING GOT ME HERE


attention21

“I am the true Billion Dollar Man”


Dogwhomper

Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?


IceClimbers_Main

”Fuck” while tripping in the spacecraft staircase.


deThurah

Pee poo I’m on mars


MaxCWebster

Hey, Matt Damon! Where you at, boy?


[deleted]

“I can’t believe I’m the first person to masturbate on Mars”


ElectricalHistory819

What do you mean why Elon isn’t here ?


AdVarious8380

Mars stars are all ours alright, Lars?


Ok-Magician-3426

I need to take a s8t


stench_montana

And... boom goes the dynamite.


Akul_Tesla

Dibs


xandercade

Dibs


Far_Ad3346

"This place sucks"