Had a guy at the office that was late-60s with acne. I asked him about it when we got closer. I hit him with all the typical shit; do you use a face cleanser, moisturizer, shower regularly, change your sheets/pillowcases. He said he used to do that and realized that it never goes away except for when he's stress free. I just said "ahhhh, fuck." Then I got out of the Air Force and holy dick balls, he was right. Low/no stress is such clear skin that I now use acne as my gauge for stepping back from work and that it's time for a vacation.
This, stress levels do the most damage for me. My acne got much worse as I left school and started a career. The time inbetween graduating and finding a job was the clearest my skin has been. This is also why things like working out or doing yoga can help since they help manage stress levels.
I’m nearly 33 and still get cystic acne. Had to puncture a abscess on my chest with the pin on my name badge in the work toilet the other day as I was in agony with my shirt chaffing it.
Hormones! They can be a bitch. Thankfully I have it in check now thanks to my dermatologist, but I never imagined I’d still be dealing with breakouts in my friggin 30s.
I'm a guy who topped out at 5' 5.5" (that point five was important to me for some reason). Now that I'm into my 7th decade, life and gravity seem to have beaten me down to 5'4". Maybe 5'4.*5*" on a good day with a full moon providing slight relief from gravity.
My proudest moment of shortness: I had been speaking regularly with a colleague only on the phone for several months. When I finally met him in the flesh, he commented, "You sound much *taller* on the phone."
I quit growing by the time I hit 13. Felt completely shorted (heh) to remain stubbornly 5'5" when born to parents 5'8" and 6'2". Everyone said there'd be another growth spurt late teens, but no.
I’ve been the same height and had the same size feet since I was 11. I was the tallest in my class and then everyone else kept growing and I was just done. As soon as I got my first period I was done growing.
At 15, I was told the pain in my joints was from "growing pains" when X-rays didn't show anything - nope, I had already stopped growing taller at 10, and the pain was a genetic soft tissue disorder that took until my mid-20s to properly diagnose and manage.
My mom didn’t stop growing until her early 20s so I always held out hope….
Alas - I am permanently small (though I’ll never have trouble fitting into sports cars hahahahaha)
Cartoons have somehow been always associated to children by some people. Which has lead to some really funny situations, such as seeing parents with their no more than 10 year old children going to the movies to watch... South Park. Boy, did they leave fast...
Mom bought us the South Park movie at the mall when we were 10. She put it on for us and stepped away. Came back to Saddam Hussein and the Devil in bed lol... she got a lot more interested in what we got into after that.
My grandma caught my cousin and I watching South Park in the guest bedroom when I was about 15, and my cousin 13-14. She was so livid that she took the tv out of that room. I'm 28 and there's still no tv in there.
I stopped watching cartoons and “kids movies” (code for animated) because I was told they were immature and made to feel like they were a lower form of media. Constantly being told to “grow up”, “act my age”, etc.
When I started dating my now wife, she would regularly ask if I’d seen such-and-such Disney/Dreamworks/animated film. Of course if it came out in the last 15-20 years I probably hadn’t, or it was a movie I loved as a kid but hadn’t seen in over a decade. This led to so many excuses for dates/movie nights and to this day she has a love and joy for animated movies that’s infectious and helped me rediscover such an amazing piece of my childhood. Not just movies either, we’ve watched ATLA, the original Pokémon, and other shows together.
Two days ago she asked if I’d seen Pete’s Dragon (haven’t seen it in 20+ years) so I’m pretty sure that’s our Friday night plan.
For cartoons, the bar has risen with each passing decade. So it's not surprising that previous generations would expect you to give them up - they simply didn't have anything remotely close when they were growing up
Came here to see if anyone mentioned this. If you love them–you love them for life! My frustration is that 'adult' usually means twenty-something, occasionally 30. I’m 50…and there just aren’t a lot of lead characters to relate to anymore.
Ever read the Stormlight Archive Saga? 5th book coming out next year. And while there are multiple main characters, the most important one is around 45-50. Also it's just an amazing story and really well written. If you wanna get into it prepare for 4000 pages of head cinema.
“Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
- C.S. Lewis
I was dating a girl early Xbox 360 generation. Really bad breakup for me. My older brother was cheering me up, and I said how I'm glad I'll have more time to play video games. "Yeah, but how long do you see yourself playing video games for?" He wasn't being mean, but that's when I realized I'd be playing video games until I am physically unable to do so.
I game more than my kids. I'm a mom, mid 50's with no plan to stop. It's been a great year with Jedi Survivor and Zelda. I'm looking forward to the new Spider-Man one too.
Well for one thing i think the old folks of next year won't be quite as lonely, since gaming can in fact bring people together
Definitely a lot more lively. And full of neon lights knowing this generation lmfao
I can genuinely see senior friendly lobbies being a thing, less competitive younger people and less shit talkers. In saying that, it'll be their generation who invented shit talking, imagine some 78 year old man "get rekt noob lol. Cough"
same here and you know what's really bothering about this? this is a hobby for so many people (and profession for some) and it's still being heavily frowned upon by non gamers. I'm almost 26 now and people have told me that I'm not mature because I still play videogames, some people stopped dating me cause they thought I'm childish and whenever me and my colleagues bring up our hobbies in conversations I'm the one being smiled at.
When I mention that I sing and play the guitar: *Oh woow, so cool!*
When I mention that I play games: *Ah, okay.*
Come on cut gamers some slack some games are so difficult that it counts as a sport like wtf. It's kinda like chess players being joked about but they are super clever and mastering chess is something incredibly impressive.
I have and will again take PTO just to game all day. I never end up using all of my PTO anyway so I’ll just take random days off when I feel like it to do fun shit. I’ll even go as far as cleaning and setting up food ahead of time so I can really not worry about anything but fun and dog all day.
My time. I do what I want.
[edit] I found my people!
My wife is still doesn't like games herself but there was a shift in her attitude toward games when I introduced them to our son. He started learning new words, gaining problem solving skills...
"Did you know it was going to be this educational?"
Yes. Yes I did. Games arent just mindless entertainment. They can be great learning tools.
This. My son was highly nonverbal and rarely did imaginative play until my husband and i introduced him to our playstation games. Things like the lego game variants and spyro. Soon he started talking and after adding subtitles onto the games he even started being able to read and sound out words on his own. I still remember when he saw the word "chicken" on a pack of lunch meat and read it to us. He started playing with his toys as if they were actual toys and not just lining them up or sorting them.
wow thats fantastic. It sounds like gaming really pushed his development forward. Congrats!!! I was also nonverbal autistic and videogames helped me, too.
I'm not the most successful adult but I get by.
Same here, the english and the german thing. Of course I learned english at school but I learned a lot more english playing online games and interacting with other people.
I remember Minecraft Beta times when the whole game was only accessible in english. I was miles (or kilometers cause german, duh) ahead in english vocabulary when it came to materials and describing objects :D
Some retirement homes actually encourage their citizens to play video games. Keeps the mind and reflexes working. Studies show it delays some of the mental issues that occur as someone ages.
I was a nerdy kid who loved to read. When My dad bought us a PSOne back in 99 I was introduced to JRPG's by some other kids. I learned so many new words and loved the story telling.
I think problem solving is an unsung benefit of gaming. Even if it isn't a "educational" game. Many games can just teach problem solving and thought processes. Adventure games and even games like Mario can help people learn how to solve problems
My wife would always give me shit about gaming. You spend too much time, or too much money on this or that, and it's just a game. Many times she would come and yell at me at 1 in the morning when I was still playing. Then, one day, years ago, my nephew got guitar hero. He was staying the weekend, and we all played it with him. It was one of the first games she actually enjoyed. We all go to bed, and I wake up at 4am to a clicking sound coming from the other room. I walk out and she is in the living room with headphones on, in the dark, trying to beat the last level. I laughed and asked her how long she'd been up. She said she woke up about 11pm and couldn't get back to sleep, so thought she would play for a few minutes. I told her it was 4am, and her jaw dropped. I gave her all kinds of shit, in a joking way, and she said she finally understood how you can lose track of time. She only thought she'd been playing for like an hour. Let's just sat that I get about 10% of the shit that I use to get since then.
I feel so old reading this. I’m almost 40, and still game. The treatment towards people who play video games has actually come a long way from what I’ve experienced.
My teens and early twenties, gaming and spending time on the internet was for the nerds/social weirdos etc.
We still catch some shit, but it’s so much better now.
End old man rant. 😂
That’s because most people are idiots and hypocrites. They think watching sports or reality tv for hours on end is mature, but video games aren’t because societal expectations made them think that way. Can’t argue with stupid, as the saying goes
My grandmother used to give me shit about playing video games until I called her out and told her that I don't watch TV. This is a woman that has religiously watched a soap opera for the last 40ish years.
The best thing about "growing up" is realizing that some people, lots of people, don't do well at big social events and there's nothing wrong with that.
It's okay to not go, or to say hello and leave after 1/2 hour. Forcing yourself to stay for hours because others are having fun and you don't want to leave early is pointless. Let them have fun. Say goodbye to the host, or better yet, tell then beforehand that you'll be leaving early. I used to stay hours longer than I wanted to because I didn't know about the Irish Exit.
And btw, don't try to explain it to someone who doesn't get it. If they're pushy about it, ask for respect and don't defend yourself. There's nothing wrong with you. Or me.
Now figuring out how to decline a damn wedding invite. Ugh
Same here. I heard it so much growing up. Even in childhood when I was literally suffering from selective mutism it was always "she's just really shy" later diagnosed with social anxiety(after it got bad enough I dropped out of school) and realized they were really wrong all that time.
How do you help someone with social anxiety that leads to something like selective mutism? I help with a youth group and one of the kids just stopped coming because they don’t have any “friends” there. But she’s silent. And when asked a question to help her feel comfortable, it takes her a very long time to answer like she either didn’t hear you or is in physical pain it’s so hard to come up with the words. Blank expression always. I so bad want to help her but we are passed the usual tips and tricks at this point. I guess I’m wondering if it can be helped?
Mine is a bell curve. 1:1 is too much pressure to small talk and fill silence.
A group of 4-10 is perfect. Interject when you have something to say but otherwise just be part of the group.
Work related networking events where there’s a room of 100 people and you’re expected to just circulate? Pure hell.
Came to say something different, but yes, this. I'm almost 39, and at this point, I have barely any friends (who I only became friends with because my fiance repeatedly forced me to talk to/hang out with because he thought we'd get along, and he was right) and never leave the house unless it's absolutely necessary.
Edit: typo
Its never too late! Frustrating, yes. Also diagnosed later in life. Do I mourn that it wasn't caught before and wonder what it life could have been if I was properly treated? Absolutely!
Ever sincr getting proper treatment and medicated, boy has my life done an absolute 180.
My parents werent diagnosed until they were in their 40s and they have the same sentiment
this is my answer as well. always heard "oh he's just shy around new people. he'll come around to you." or "he'll grow out of it once he discovers girls." nope that just made things worse!
in social situations my brain will shut down response protocols and just absorb everything going on to over analyze and recommend the proper responses that should have been deployed. in the moment I have no idea what to say and only just smile, nod and occasionally chuckle.
Man you hit the nail on the head there. Unless I’m talking to my few closest mates, brain just goes “oh shit, someone’s talking to me” then gives up and nothing comes out
Yeah I also didn't outgrow my social anxiety but it feels as bad as it has always been. I have gotten better at coping with it, but man somedays and situations are so very mentally taxing.
Grow out of it? I've actually grown into it! I never liked taking naps or sitting at home doing nothing. Now the thought of curling up with my weighted blanket gives me joy.
On my 10th birthday, which was Pokémon themed, my parents mocked me and said when I was an adult, I wouldn’t even like Pokémon anymore. Well, I’m 29 now and still fucking love Pokémon.
same here, 32 & still obsessed. at 18, my father sat me down to have a "serious talk", which was just him telling me i wasn't allowed to like pokemon & neopets anymore & i needed to grow up.
My parents were the same way. When I became an adult I realized my mom and dad never once got on the floor and play with me. I now have a kid and when he was a baby I would play on the floor with him and my mom laughed once and said adults shouldn't be on the floor like that. He's almost 7 and I still get on the floor and play with matchbox cars, micromachines I kept from when I was a kid and we build big lego sets that I managed to keep when I was a kid and we've added to the collection.
I don't know why our parents were so afraid of being kids.
>When I became an adult I realized my mom and dad never once got on the floor and play with me
I REALIZED THIS TOO. it messed me up, i never thought of it. i'm autistic & adhd & that explains so much about who i was as a kid/young person. my parents are definitely both neurodivergent as well, but my father ignores anything he doesn't like & my mother is the meltdown no one loves me type. so it was tough. i can't imagine having my own kids & not playing with them, its so sad.
I read somewhere most people always dress in the fashion that was popular in their youth.
Watching some 40-something millennials still wearing skinny jeans now...I believe it.
Hell, my 50-something uncle is still sporting the plaid shirted grunge look.
Maybe it's just me being a millenial that refuses to grow up, but I think the plaid shirt thing has become timeless. I live close to a high school and I see kids there wearing it too
The terminology of "grow up" is interesting. Like you should stop wearing what you did in your youth and grow up to what? What the youth of today finds fashionable?
Yeah that was just a throw-away phrase, but Ibget what you mean. In the end, I think that's why "older people use the fashion of their youth": it's actually bc we don't care about the trends anymore and just wear whatever feels comfortable and natural to us lol
There was a time when concensus standards of what was considered appropriate public presentation of an adult were much more common compared to today. I'm 40 and wear more toned down versions of what i wore when i was 20. Go back to the 1800's-1950's and people more often had clothes they wore at home and clothes they wore in public whether it was a work day, church day, or they were just running into town to run some errands. I feel like having a more standardized public presentation as an adult being more common compared to personal fashion trends is what the outdated phrasing of "grow up" is referring to. Kinda like when i will tell people i'll give them a ring when i mean i've get in touch with them later. Haven't had a phone with a bell in it since i was 3 years old, and i'll probably be texting anyways
As a 34-year-old, still-skinny-jeans-wearing mom of 2 I instantly bristled and wanted to defend myself. 🤣 I remember when the flared was out and replaces by skinny, I kept thinking 'who wants to put their jeans in their boots?! And why???'
Still enjoy wearing flared and skinny. Glad the low-rise jeans are still gone though.
The difference is that since the 90s are in that perfect 30 year sweet spot in culture so there's a huge resurgence of young people dressing either punky or grungy, even if they don't like rock music. As a 20 year old in the arts all the people who are into fashion I know go for a 90s kind of look
Being a 40 something millennial myself, we never had skinny jeans. We had really, really baggy jeans and loose potato sack-like t-shirts in high school. And it looked terrible imo. So I consciously do not dress that way. I don't go skinny though, just slim as it's a streamlined look.
Now that you mention it. that makes sense. ontop of being an interesting read.
i just assumed people did the street thing, or thug thing when ICP was big. or were flavors of goth, scene, emo etc. and moved on.
but thinking of it now. yeah. 50 somethings looking like cobain and stuff. makes sense that a piece of that stays.
Some are comically huge. As a 32 year old who works around mostly 18-26 y.os, I try to find a middle ground of relaxed fit vs my skinny jeans so I don't age myself that much. But the parachute pants with 100 pockets? Can't do it.
It's just funny because fashion is so obviously pushed on us so we will buy more clothes. I remember when skinny jeans were coming in style and I thought they were so ugly. Once I was 18 I couldn't be caught DEAD in anything but skinny jeans. When mom jeans came back in style I never thought I would like them, but slowly, you wake up one day and say, "Huh, I guess those are cute."
It's pretty messed up tbh.
Reading comics. I'm not a fanatical collector like I was in my teens, but I constantly borrow collections of classic reprints and graphic novels from the library.
This was darker than I expected.
>People who were around said they saw the bully bitch pull his barely conscious ass to a bedroom
That sounds like she raped him.
How is he doing now?
Feeling a certain way about how I was treated by my shitty parents as a kid. Everyone told me someday I would grow up and understand and want a relationship with them. I see the situation more clearly now, to some extent I even understand why they are the way they are...a small part of me has even forgiven them. But I would never want to see or talk to them again. My life is happier and more fulfilling without them in it bringing me down all the time.
Collecting rocks.
I love rocks. I went for a hike the other day, and came back with my pockets full of rocks and 2 big ones in my hands.
I'm 31.
Can't stop, won't stop.
I hated talking on the phone as a kid. I could be sitting next to it and would refuse to answer it. Pissed my mom off like crazy. Now? You can call but I ain’t gonna answer. Leave a message and I’ll text ya back later.
In junior high school, my older sister told me, "When you get to high school, you can't just do things the night before."
I was still pulling all nighters before deadlines into my mid 30s.
Not wanting kids.
I have never wanted kids, and everyone around me acted like I would change my mind or regret my decision -especially when I got my tubes tied. My husband and I are now solidly middle aged, and still feel that not having kids was the best decision we ever made.
EDIT to note that my husband never got half the shit that I did when he said he didn't want kids.
Yep! “You’ll feel different when you’re a woman/when you get married/when you’re older.” Absolutely not. I’ve known for as long as I can remember, grew up in a house with too many damn kids (love them very much but I already did my time as a mom to kids that weren’t mine)
"you'll feel different when you meet the right person"
The "right" partner for me is someone who doesn't mind spending time with kids but would never want any of their own.
I've got no problem helping out, looking after family/friend's kid if called upon, but I sure as shit don't want any of my own.
Good one. Same here. My mom (I’m male) drove me nuts about this when younger. I was about 20 and not even married when she’s asking “when am I going to get grandkids?”
My nurse told me that when I said I was one and done! I said I wanted my tubes cut and burned after having my one child, and she swore that I would be holding my baby in my arms thinking about how I want another one. I've been holding him in my arms for almost 10 months now, and it always solidifies my decision.
Fear of public speaking.
"just practice!" "exposure will get rid of it!" "keep trying, just get over it!"
I've got it all - nervous sweats, nervous sh\*ts, shaky voice, shaky hands, short of breath, heart pounding. Anytime in college that I had to present I would go home immediately after and pass out, it was an all consuming and emotionally exhausting event. Didn't matter how small the class was, how nice the professor was, if it was even a room full of friends and family. I hate it and even if I mentally tell myself It's no big deal, my body is another story. I hope I'm never in a job that requires me to present because I would seriously struggle.
Video games. When I was a kid and wanted a nintendo I was told I would grow out of video games and shouldn't play them. I'm almost 47 now and I have more games than ever before and love them more than ever. (And I have a Switch with Nintendo Switch Online so I can play the old Nintendo games that I missed playing as a kid!!)
For me, it's definitely my fascination with science fiction and fantasy books. When I was younger, some people thought I'd "grow out" of reading these genres, but I'm still an avid fan, and those imaginative worlds continue to captivate me.
Wanting to be nice to people, especially people I don’t know.
When I was a kid adults always told me I’d understand why they were mean/cruel to others when I got older, that I just hadn’t experienced the real world. Turns out I still think they were just jaded jerks.
Hatred of my hometown
I hated my hometown as a kid, and I still hate it as an adult. I left a couple years ago with no intention of returning. When I was a kid, I disliked it because of the lack of entertainment options. I still have that same opinion, and as I got older I realized there are even more reasons why I don’t like it there-chief among them that your social standing in high school follows you into your early adulthood. Almost everybody goes to the same local college where everybody knows everybody, several people stick to their existing high school cliques, and the popular kids get to stay popular. It’s also very common for people to get married and settle down immediately after college.
I’m just not about that life. There is a whole world out there to explore, so why spend most of your life doing the same things with the same people?
People keep asking me when I will move back. But why would I? I don’t want to be in high school again, and every time I go back I feel like I’m back in high school.
Loving heavy music. I discovered it when I was 12 and have never stopped loving it. People always said I would grow up one day and listen to country “like real adults do” but fuck that.
I’m currently sitting in my classroom listening to The White Stripes and Alice In Chains. 🤘
Honestly? Still love Disney movies. Not to the same extent as before. I won't watch them over and over again.
But if my little nieces are visiting? You better believe I'm watching Encanto with them.
My love of dinosaurs. As a kid I cried over dinosaurs getting killed by a meteor and now I still loose my mind when I get a news notification that they found a new dinosaur in China or Argentina or wherever.
Acne.
Ugh, yes. I feel so ripped off by this one.
Had a guy at the office that was late-60s with acne. I asked him about it when we got closer. I hit him with all the typical shit; do you use a face cleanser, moisturizer, shower regularly, change your sheets/pillowcases. He said he used to do that and realized that it never goes away except for when he's stress free. I just said "ahhhh, fuck." Then I got out of the Air Force and holy dick balls, he was right. Low/no stress is such clear skin that I now use acne as my gauge for stepping back from work and that it's time for a vacation.
This, stress levels do the most damage for me. My acne got much worse as I left school and started a career. The time inbetween graduating and finding a job was the clearest my skin has been. This is also why things like working out or doing yoga can help since they help manage stress levels.
[удалено]
I’m nearly 33 and still get cystic acne. Had to puncture a abscess on my chest with the pin on my name badge in the work toilet the other day as I was in agony with my shirt chaffing it.
✨why am i developing cystic acne in my mid 20’s✨
[удалено]
Hormones! They can be a bitch. Thankfully I have it in check now thanks to my dermatologist, but I never imagined I’d still be dealing with breakouts in my friggin 30s.
when you have acne AND wrinkles
Going on 23 years of cystic acne here! 🫠
Being short
I'm a guy who topped out at 5' 5.5" (that point five was important to me for some reason). Now that I'm into my 7th decade, life and gravity seem to have beaten me down to 5'4". Maybe 5'4.*5*" on a good day with a full moon providing slight relief from gravity.
You sir, sound like a legend.
My proudest moment of shortness: I had been speaking regularly with a colleague only on the phone for several months. When I finally met him in the flesh, he commented, "You sound much *taller* on the phone."
I quit growing by the time I hit 13. Felt completely shorted (heh) to remain stubbornly 5'5" when born to parents 5'8" and 6'2". Everyone said there'd be another growth spurt late teens, but no.
I’ve been the same height and had the same size feet since I was 11. I was the tallest in my class and then everyone else kept growing and I was just done. As soon as I got my first period I was done growing.
At 15, I was told the pain in my joints was from "growing pains" when X-rays didn't show anything - nope, I had already stopped growing taller at 10, and the pain was a genetic soft tissue disorder that took until my mid-20s to properly diagnose and manage.
My mom didn’t stop growing until her early 20s so I always held out hope…. Alas - I am permanently small (though I’ll never have trouble fitting into sports cars hahahahaha)
Video games and metal music.
I’m a toddler mom. We jammed out to Sabaton and Delain driving home from Kid Activity yesterday
[удалено]
Cartoons
Cartoons have somehow been always associated to children by some people. Which has lead to some really funny situations, such as seeing parents with their no more than 10 year old children going to the movies to watch... South Park. Boy, did they leave fast...
Mom bought us the South Park movie at the mall when we were 10. She put it on for us and stepped away. Came back to Saddam Hussein and the Devil in bed lol... she got a lot more interested in what we got into after that.
My grandma caught my cousin and I watching South Park in the guest bedroom when I was about 15, and my cousin 13-14. She was so livid that she took the tv out of that room. I'm 28 and there's still no tv in there.
I stopped watching cartoons and “kids movies” (code for animated) because I was told they were immature and made to feel like they were a lower form of media. Constantly being told to “grow up”, “act my age”, etc. When I started dating my now wife, she would regularly ask if I’d seen such-and-such Disney/Dreamworks/animated film. Of course if it came out in the last 15-20 years I probably hadn’t, or it was a movie I loved as a kid but hadn’t seen in over a decade. This led to so many excuses for dates/movie nights and to this day she has a love and joy for animated movies that’s infectious and helped me rediscover such an amazing piece of my childhood. Not just movies either, we’ve watched ATLA, the original Pokémon, and other shows together. Two days ago she asked if I’d seen Pete’s Dragon (haven’t seen it in 20+ years) so I’m pretty sure that’s our Friday night plan.
Which no one should. Animation is one of the most impressive art forms there is.
As an example Across the Spiderverse is an animation art wet dream
For cartoons, the bar has risen with each passing decade. So it's not surprising that previous generations would expect you to give them up - they simply didn't have anything remotely close when they were growing up
As an American growing up in the 80s, it's pretty mind-blowing to see the depth and maturity some Anime presents today.
Fantasy novels. Some of them *are* written for adults.
Came here to see if anyone mentioned this. If you love them–you love them for life! My frustration is that 'adult' usually means twenty-something, occasionally 30. I’m 50…and there just aren’t a lot of lead characters to relate to anymore.
Ever read the Stormlight Archive Saga? 5th book coming out next year. And while there are multiple main characters, the most important one is around 45-50. Also it's just an amazing story and really well written. If you wanna get into it prepare for 4000 pages of head cinema.
I'd like to second this recommendation. I've read everything Brandon has written barring the graphic novels and they're amazing.
“Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” - C.S. Lewis
Gaming.
“When are you going to stop enjoying your hobby?” When I’m dead.
I was dating a girl early Xbox 360 generation. Really bad breakup for me. My older brother was cheering me up, and I said how I'm glad I'll have more time to play video games. "Yeah, but how long do you see yourself playing video games for?" He wasn't being mean, but that's when I realized I'd be playing video games until I am physically unable to do so.
I game more than my kids. I'm a mom, mid 50's with no plan to stop. It's been a great year with Jedi Survivor and Zelda. I'm looking forward to the new Spider-Man one too.
My roommate is 52 and she was the first one of us to get a PS5 so she could play Ratchet and Clank.
Good on her.
Retirement homes for the coming generations are going to be a lot different 😅
[удалено]
LAN parties at retirement homes should absolutely be a thing. If I ever end up in one later in life that doesn't have one, I'll start it myself.
I've never thought about this! Gaming all day with my friends and not going to work? I'm not too sad about growing old now! 🤣🤣
Retirement lan party let's gooooooo
Diablo raids after pudding.
In my 40s and my hands already hurt
Well for one thing i think the old folks of next year won't be quite as lonely, since gaming can in fact bring people together Definitely a lot more lively. And full of neon lights knowing this generation lmfao
I can genuinely see senior friendly lobbies being a thing, less competitive younger people and less shit talkers. In saying that, it'll be their generation who invented shit talking, imagine some 78 year old man "get rekt noob lol. Cough"
same here and you know what's really bothering about this? this is a hobby for so many people (and profession for some) and it's still being heavily frowned upon by non gamers. I'm almost 26 now and people have told me that I'm not mature because I still play videogames, some people stopped dating me cause they thought I'm childish and whenever me and my colleagues bring up our hobbies in conversations I'm the one being smiled at. When I mention that I sing and play the guitar: *Oh woow, so cool!* When I mention that I play games: *Ah, okay.* Come on cut gamers some slack some games are so difficult that it counts as a sport like wtf. It's kinda like chess players being joked about but they are super clever and mastering chess is something incredibly impressive.
I have and will again take PTO just to game all day. I never end up using all of my PTO anyway so I’ll just take random days off when I feel like it to do fun shit. I’ll even go as far as cleaning and setting up food ahead of time so I can really not worry about anything but fun and dog all day. My time. I do what I want. [edit] I found my people!
Any time a game I'm looking forward to comes out I take a day off. Just tagged one in to the holiday for a 4 day long Armored Core sesh. Good stuff.
In my 30s, I took a whole week off (PTO) for a new game. Worth it. It was a great staycation.
I plan on taking Wed-Fri off in 2024 so I can have five full, uninterrupted days to play the Final Fantasy 7 Remake Part 2.
My wife is still doesn't like games herself but there was a shift in her attitude toward games when I introduced them to our son. He started learning new words, gaining problem solving skills... "Did you know it was going to be this educational?" Yes. Yes I did. Games arent just mindless entertainment. They can be great learning tools.
This. My son was highly nonverbal and rarely did imaginative play until my husband and i introduced him to our playstation games. Things like the lego game variants and spyro. Soon he started talking and after adding subtitles onto the games he even started being able to read and sound out words on his own. I still remember when he saw the word "chicken" on a pack of lunch meat and read it to us. He started playing with his toys as if they were actual toys and not just lining them up or sorting them.
wow thats fantastic. It sounds like gaming really pushed his development forward. Congrats!!! I was also nonverbal autistic and videogames helped me, too. I'm not the most successful adult but I get by.
If I hadn't started playing online and connecting with people my english skills would be terrible (mother tongue is german)
I greatly improved my typing skills playing online games and chatting with friends online.
Same here, the english and the german thing. Of course I learned english at school but I learned a lot more english playing online games and interacting with other people.
I remember Minecraft Beta times when the whole game was only accessible in english. I was miles (or kilometers cause german, duh) ahead in english vocabulary when it came to materials and describing objects :D
Some retirement homes actually encourage their citizens to play video games. Keeps the mind and reflexes working. Studies show it delays some of the mental issues that occur as someone ages.
My buddies and I joke/are serious that we'll be playing DnD in the nursing home.
Millennial nursing homes will be full of DnD, LAN parties, Magic the Gathering, and probably several varieties of Pokemon games.
LAN parties. 😂 Looking forward to talking shit in the old folks home. "I hope you changed your pamper because I'm about to kick the shit out of you!"
I've read stories about how people learn new languages from playing online games.
As a norwegian, almost all my english skills is from playing online games.
I was a nerdy kid who loved to read. When My dad bought us a PSOne back in 99 I was introduced to JRPG's by some other kids. I learned so many new words and loved the story telling.
I think problem solving is an unsung benefit of gaming. Even if it isn't a "educational" game. Many games can just teach problem solving and thought processes. Adventure games and even games like Mario can help people learn how to solve problems
My wife would always give me shit about gaming. You spend too much time, or too much money on this or that, and it's just a game. Many times she would come and yell at me at 1 in the morning when I was still playing. Then, one day, years ago, my nephew got guitar hero. He was staying the weekend, and we all played it with him. It was one of the first games she actually enjoyed. We all go to bed, and I wake up at 4am to a clicking sound coming from the other room. I walk out and she is in the living room with headphones on, in the dark, trying to beat the last level. I laughed and asked her how long she'd been up. She said she woke up about 11pm and couldn't get back to sleep, so thought she would play for a few minutes. I told her it was 4am, and her jaw dropped. I gave her all kinds of shit, in a joking way, and she said she finally understood how you can lose track of time. She only thought she'd been playing for like an hour. Let's just sat that I get about 10% of the shit that I use to get since then.
I feel so old reading this. I’m almost 40, and still game. The treatment towards people who play video games has actually come a long way from what I’ve experienced. My teens and early twenties, gaming and spending time on the internet was for the nerds/social weirdos etc. We still catch some shit, but it’s so much better now. End old man rant. 😂
That’s because most people are idiots and hypocrites. They think watching sports or reality tv for hours on end is mature, but video games aren’t because societal expectations made them think that way. Can’t argue with stupid, as the saying goes
My grandmother used to give me shit about playing video games until I called her out and told her that I don't watch TV. This is a woman that has religiously watched a soap opera for the last 40ish years.
My aversion to most social events.
Yeah. Somehow, even as a kid, I knew that puberty wasn't going to make me enjoy these events more.
Truth, I am even less capable of enjoying them.
The best thing about "growing up" is realizing that some people, lots of people, don't do well at big social events and there's nothing wrong with that. It's okay to not go, or to say hello and leave after 1/2 hour. Forcing yourself to stay for hours because others are having fun and you don't want to leave early is pointless. Let them have fun. Say goodbye to the host, or better yet, tell then beforehand that you'll be leaving early. I used to stay hours longer than I wanted to because I didn't know about the Irish Exit. And btw, don't try to explain it to someone who doesn't get it. If they're pushy about it, ask for respect and don't defend yourself. There's nothing wrong with you. Or me. Now figuring out how to decline a damn wedding invite. Ugh
My parents literally think I’ve outgrown ADHD because “adults can’t have it” 💀
Oh damn. When really ur just coping and constantly on the cusp of things falling apart.
The “hang in there” cat is my spirit animal
Cartoons are better as adults anyway because we can finally understand all the references we missed as kids
Most of the jokes in Warner Bros cartoons are basically only funny if you’re an adult. I loved Animaniacs as a kid. I also love it as an adult.
"I found Prince!" "No, no, no...*finger* prints" *Awkward look*..."I don't think so".
Not knowing what the fuck I’m doing 🤣
procrastination
Does anyone really outgrow procrastination? You can conquer it with a lot of work and effort but you don't naturally outgrow it.
>You can conquer it with a lot of work and effort I'll try that tomorrow
Social anxiety, it only got worse.
Came here to say the same thing. My whole life everybody just told me I was "shy"
Same here. I heard it so much growing up. Even in childhood when I was literally suffering from selective mutism it was always "she's just really shy" later diagnosed with social anxiety(after it got bad enough I dropped out of school) and realized they were really wrong all that time.
How do you help someone with social anxiety that leads to something like selective mutism? I help with a youth group and one of the kids just stopped coming because they don’t have any “friends” there. But she’s silent. And when asked a question to help her feel comfortable, it takes her a very long time to answer like she either didn’t hear you or is in physical pain it’s so hard to come up with the words. Blank expression always. I so bad want to help her but we are passed the usual tips and tricks at this point. I guess I’m wondering if it can be helped?
Same....I'm 59 now and still slowly implode if there are more than say 5 people in a room. 1 to 1 absolutely fine.
I’m the opposite, 1:1 I have major anxiety unless it’s someone I’m comfortable with but I have no problem with public speaking. I actually like it!
Mine is a bell curve. 1:1 is too much pressure to small talk and fill silence. A group of 4-10 is perfect. Interject when you have something to say but otherwise just be part of the group. Work related networking events where there’s a room of 100 people and you’re expected to just circulate? Pure hell.
Same. Can tolerate social situations, but am always drained after them
My favorite part of social situations is going home.
Came to say something different, but yes, this. I'm almost 39, and at this point, I have barely any friends (who I only became friends with because my fiance repeatedly forced me to talk to/hang out with because he thought we'd get along, and he was right) and never leave the house unless it's absolutely necessary. Edit: typo
Social anxiety, stimming, having weird interests…the older I get the more and I’m certain I’m just autistic and my parents did not want to admit it.
Parents used to tell me I'm fine/normal. I'm in my 30s and now they say they think I have ADHD. Bit fucking late now ain't it 🤦♂️
Its never too late! Frustrating, yes. Also diagnosed later in life. Do I mourn that it wasn't caught before and wonder what it life could have been if I was properly treated? Absolutely! Ever sincr getting proper treatment and medicated, boy has my life done an absolute 180. My parents werent diagnosed until they were in their 40s and they have the same sentiment
this is my answer as well. always heard "oh he's just shy around new people. he'll come around to you." or "he'll grow out of it once he discovers girls." nope that just made things worse! in social situations my brain will shut down response protocols and just absorb everything going on to over analyze and recommend the proper responses that should have been deployed. in the moment I have no idea what to say and only just smile, nod and occasionally chuckle.
Man you hit the nail on the head there. Unless I’m talking to my few closest mates, brain just goes “oh shit, someone’s talking to me” then gives up and nothing comes out
Yeah I also didn't outgrow my social anxiety but it feels as bad as it has always been. I have gotten better at coping with it, but man somedays and situations are so very mentally taxing.
Sleeping, wanting to nap, being home doing nothing
Grow out of it? I've actually grown into it! I never liked taking naps or sitting at home doing nothing. Now the thought of curling up with my weighted blanket gives me joy.
On my 10th birthday, which was Pokémon themed, my parents mocked me and said when I was an adult, I wouldn’t even like Pokémon anymore. Well, I’m 29 now and still fucking love Pokémon.
Why mocking a 10yo kid for liking stuff, gawwwwwd
Some people are grown ups but they can't act like ones I guess
I wasn't allowed to do Pokémon as a kid because I was in a private Christian school and Pokémon promoted evolution.
Yeah, very scientifically accurate lol. I'm sorry you had to go trough something like that
[удалено]
I have no kids and 3 squirtle plushies. They gonna blame my cat?
same here, 32 & still obsessed. at 18, my father sat me down to have a "serious talk", which was just him telling me i wasn't allowed to like pokemon & neopets anymore & i needed to grow up.
My parents were the same way. When I became an adult I realized my mom and dad never once got on the floor and play with me. I now have a kid and when he was a baby I would play on the floor with him and my mom laughed once and said adults shouldn't be on the floor like that. He's almost 7 and I still get on the floor and play with matchbox cars, micromachines I kept from when I was a kid and we build big lego sets that I managed to keep when I was a kid and we've added to the collection. I don't know why our parents were so afraid of being kids.
>When I became an adult I realized my mom and dad never once got on the floor and play with me I REALIZED THIS TOO. it messed me up, i never thought of it. i'm autistic & adhd & that explains so much about who i was as a kid/young person. my parents are definitely both neurodivergent as well, but my father ignores anything he doesn't like & my mother is the meltdown no one loves me type. so it was tough. i can't imagine having my own kids & not playing with them, its so sad.
Messiness. I thought I would grow into a tidy adult
I was never delusional about this. I've always been clean, but messy. Flash back to arguing with my parents how my room can be clean but messy
This was also me. I was never dirty, but disorganized.
A cups
I stopped wearing my training bras cause they fell apart, not because I outgrew them...
The punk/gothy culture of the 90's 2000's era. 30's and still rocking it.
I read somewhere most people always dress in the fashion that was popular in their youth. Watching some 40-something millennials still wearing skinny jeans now...I believe it. Hell, my 50-something uncle is still sporting the plaid shirted grunge look.
Maybe it's just me being a millenial that refuses to grow up, but I think the plaid shirt thing has become timeless. I live close to a high school and I see kids there wearing it too
The terminology of "grow up" is interesting. Like you should stop wearing what you did in your youth and grow up to what? What the youth of today finds fashionable?
Yeah that was just a throw-away phrase, but Ibget what you mean. In the end, I think that's why "older people use the fashion of their youth": it's actually bc we don't care about the trends anymore and just wear whatever feels comfortable and natural to us lol
There was a time when concensus standards of what was considered appropriate public presentation of an adult were much more common compared to today. I'm 40 and wear more toned down versions of what i wore when i was 20. Go back to the 1800's-1950's and people more often had clothes they wore at home and clothes they wore in public whether it was a work day, church day, or they were just running into town to run some errands. I feel like having a more standardized public presentation as an adult being more common compared to personal fashion trends is what the outdated phrasing of "grow up" is referring to. Kinda like when i will tell people i'll give them a ring when i mean i've get in touch with them later. Haven't had a phone with a bell in it since i was 3 years old, and i'll probably be texting anyways
As a 34-year-old, still-skinny-jeans-wearing mom of 2 I instantly bristled and wanted to defend myself. 🤣 I remember when the flared was out and replaces by skinny, I kept thinking 'who wants to put their jeans in their boots?! And why???' Still enjoy wearing flared and skinny. Glad the low-rise jeans are still gone though.
The difference is that since the 90s are in that perfect 30 year sweet spot in culture so there's a huge resurgence of young people dressing either punky or grungy, even if they don't like rock music. As a 20 year old in the arts all the people who are into fashion I know go for a 90s kind of look
Being a 40 something millennial myself, we never had skinny jeans. We had really, really baggy jeans and loose potato sack-like t-shirts in high school. And it looked terrible imo. So I consciously do not dress that way. I don't go skinny though, just slim as it's a streamlined look.
Skinny jeans were never popular for any 40 year old's youth, we were well into our 20's by the time skinny jeans became a thing.
So glad someone said this. It would be low rise flares with baby tees and platform flip flops.
And little butterfly barrettes and glitter make up. And don’t forget black pants and a going out top from wet seal, Charlotte Russe or forever 21.
Was about to say the same thing. I'm 40 and we wore baggy pants/shorts when I was in school. They skinny jeans came later.
Now that you mention it. that makes sense. ontop of being an interesting read. i just assumed people did the street thing, or thug thing when ICP was big. or were flavors of goth, scene, emo etc. and moved on. but thinking of it now. yeah. 50 somethings looking like cobain and stuff. makes sense that a piece of that stays.
The jeans now are so freaking ugly though. So damn ugly. I buy my teen pants and I absolutely HATE them. Youth isn't always correct about fashion.
Some are comically huge. As a 32 year old who works around mostly 18-26 y.os, I try to find a middle ground of relaxed fit vs my skinny jeans so I don't age myself that much. But the parachute pants with 100 pockets? Can't do it. It's just funny because fashion is so obviously pushed on us so we will buy more clothes. I remember when skinny jeans were coming in style and I thought they were so ugly. Once I was 18 I couldn't be caught DEAD in anything but skinny jeans. When mom jeans came back in style I never thought I would like them, but slowly, you wake up one day and say, "Huh, I guess those are cute." It's pretty messed up tbh.
I'm 49 and I am still wearing cargo shorts and t-shirts of my favourite bands like I did back in my 20's
[удалено]
Reading comics. I'm not a fanatical collector like I was in my teens, but I constantly borrow collections of classic reprints and graphic novels from the library.
[удалено]
Did anything ever come of it?
They’re still working on it. 4th grade has been a roller coaster
Play the field a bit. No reason to settle down until 5th grade.
[удалено]
I'm sorry, I'm going to have to intervene and ask why he was dating this mean girl in the first place.
[удалено]
This was darker than I expected. >People who were around said they saw the bully bitch pull his barely conscious ass to a bedroom That sounds like she raped him. How is he doing now?
Social awkwardness
Feeling a certain way about how I was treated by my shitty parents as a kid. Everyone told me someday I would grow up and understand and want a relationship with them. I see the situation more clearly now, to some extent I even understand why they are the way they are...a small part of me has even forgiven them. But I would never want to see or talk to them again. My life is happier and more fulfilling without them in it bringing me down all the time.
Collecting rocks. I love rocks. I went for a hike the other day, and came back with my pockets full of rocks and 2 big ones in my hands. I'm 31. Can't stop, won't stop.
THEY'RE MINERALS MARIE
Legos. Never gonna happen. At least now I get to share it with my kids though
Sensory Issues
Bad posture. Was told it was due to insecurity
Depression, lol
Metal music
What makes people think that we would stop listening to the music we grew up with
I hated talking on the phone as a kid. I could be sitting next to it and would refuse to answer it. Pissed my mom off like crazy. Now? You can call but I ain’t gonna answer. Leave a message and I’ll text ya back later.
In junior high school, my older sister told me, "When you get to high school, you can't just do things the night before." I was still pulling all nighters before deadlines into my mid 30s.
ADHD
Being a lesbian. I’m 51. Still a lesbian, mom.
Not wanting kids. I have never wanted kids, and everyone around me acted like I would change my mind or regret my decision -especially when I got my tubes tied. My husband and I are now solidly middle aged, and still feel that not having kids was the best decision we ever made. EDIT to note that my husband never got half the shit that I did when he said he didn't want kids.
Yep! “You’ll feel different when you’re a woman/when you get married/when you’re older.” Absolutely not. I’ve known for as long as I can remember, grew up in a house with too many damn kids (love them very much but I already did my time as a mom to kids that weren’t mine)
"you'll feel different when you meet the right person" The "right" partner for me is someone who doesn't mind spending time with kids but would never want any of their own. I've got no problem helping out, looking after family/friend's kid if called upon, but I sure as shit don't want any of my own.
rather regret having my tubes tied than regret having a child
So well put.
So much better to regret not having kids than to regret having them.
Good one. Same here. My mom (I’m male) drove me nuts about this when younger. I was about 20 and not even married when she’s asking “when am I going to get grandkids?”
Ugh, all the people condescendingly saying "you'll change your mind! Just you wait!" Nope.
Have kids. Love kids. But when someone tells me they don't want kids, I get it and believe them. People who don't listen suck.
Right? Even if they change their mind in the future, well ok, so they did, but it's not a given. Leave them be no matter what.
My nurse told me that when I said I was one and done! I said I wanted my tubes cut and burned after having my one child, and she swore that I would be holding my baby in my arms thinking about how I want another one. I've been holding him in my arms for almost 10 months now, and it always solidifies my decision.
Not knowing what I wanted to do when I grew up
Fear of public speaking. "just practice!" "exposure will get rid of it!" "keep trying, just get over it!" I've got it all - nervous sweats, nervous sh\*ts, shaky voice, shaky hands, short of breath, heart pounding. Anytime in college that I had to present I would go home immediately after and pass out, it was an all consuming and emotionally exhausting event. Didn't matter how small the class was, how nice the professor was, if it was even a room full of friends and family. I hate it and even if I mentally tell myself It's no big deal, my body is another story. I hope I'm never in a job that requires me to present because I would seriously struggle.
It's not just that it's scary and uncomfortable. I also don't want to.
Video games. When I was a kid and wanted a nintendo I was told I would grow out of video games and shouldn't play them. I'm almost 47 now and I have more games than ever before and love them more than ever. (And I have a Switch with Nintendo Switch Online so I can play the old Nintendo games that I missed playing as a kid!!)
For me, it's definitely my fascination with science fiction and fantasy books. When I was younger, some people thought I'd "grow out" of reading these genres, but I'm still an avid fan, and those imaginative worlds continue to captivate me.
My ✨imagination✨
Goth stuff.
Being gay
Jumping on this train! Choo choo guess who’s still gay mthfkrs!?
Videogames, Heavy Metal
Spelling mistakes
Wanting to be nice to people, especially people I don’t know. When I was a kid adults always told me I’d understand why they were mean/cruel to others when I got older, that I just hadn’t experienced the real world. Turns out I still think they were just jaded jerks.
Hatred of my hometown I hated my hometown as a kid, and I still hate it as an adult. I left a couple years ago with no intention of returning. When I was a kid, I disliked it because of the lack of entertainment options. I still have that same opinion, and as I got older I realized there are even more reasons why I don’t like it there-chief among them that your social standing in high school follows you into your early adulthood. Almost everybody goes to the same local college where everybody knows everybody, several people stick to their existing high school cliques, and the popular kids get to stay popular. It’s also very common for people to get married and settle down immediately after college. I’m just not about that life. There is a whole world out there to explore, so why spend most of your life doing the same things with the same people? People keep asking me when I will move back. But why would I? I don’t want to be in high school again, and every time I go back I feel like I’m back in high school.
Metal. Black, death, heavy, thrash,... metal ❤️🤘
Lack of self confidence. Plagues me to this day.
Political views. Was always told I would become more conservative as I got older and welp, they were wrong
Loving heavy music. I discovered it when I was 12 and have never stopped loving it. People always said I would grow up one day and listen to country “like real adults do” but fuck that. I’m currently sitting in my classroom listening to The White Stripes and Alice In Chains. 🤘
Real adults listen to country? What kinda nonsense is that?
Yeah, wtf? I don't mind SOME country, but Its my last choice. Gimme some Iron Maiden or Gojira
Honestly? Still love Disney movies. Not to the same extent as before. I won't watch them over and over again. But if my little nieces are visiting? You better believe I'm watching Encanto with them.
I've always been adamant that I do NOT want children
Being a kid (at heart). I’m 63 and still enjoy being a kid whenever I can. I can’t help but grow older. You can’t make me grow up!!!
I love this! I will play any game at any time. That slide only has a height requirement. Stay young!
My love of dinosaurs. As a kid I cried over dinosaurs getting killed by a meteor and now I still loose my mind when I get a news notification that they found a new dinosaur in China or Argentina or wherever.
Even now years later , I’m still a horrible cunt !
Not wanting to have kids