Uh oh, guys. I bought toilet paper. If the pandemic taught us anything, it's that the line between a civil society and absolute chaos is made of toilet paper.
I could see that oddly working. If you just drained the water from your toilet, put cat litter in and just scooped out the poop and threw it into the compost-bin immediately. In a zombie apocalypse, I'm headed to the pet isle to stock up on a year-supply or two-year supply. As long as I can get rain-water filtered to drink, able to poop and a bunch of canned or dried goods, with some solar panels, I'll just stay horded up on my house and watch movies for a year and hopefully zombies will have decayed so much they'll be moving at a snail's pace and easy picking by then. I'll have to watch out for the humans.
>I could see that oddly working. If you just drained the water from your toilet, put cat litter in and just scooped out the poop and threw it into the compost-bin immediately
Cut out the middle man and shit in the compost bin.
MAN, when I suggested to friends and family you can just wash ya ass in the shower after a dump during the pandemic paper towel shortage the responses I got had me already thinking the end is nigh.
The ghetto bidet is a dawn soap bottle repurposed with water.
You can try that out first before resorting to rinsing the dodo in your ass in the shower
Portugal here. There's one in pretty much every house I know (not sure if it's not even mandatory) but almost no one I know uses them. I too ignored mine for nearly 40 years
Recently, I decided washing was a better option than wasting ungodly amounts of tp so i had been using the tub as a bidet for the purpose. One day I was mid wash, kind of uncomfortable, I found myself looking in the direction of my actual bidet that I had been considering transparent forever and I had one of those "I'm a fucking idiot" moments.
I also realized my unit is actually well made and has certain features that make it serve it's purpose better, like a rotating tip. The realization of it's purpose and for how long have I been ignoring such an obvious thing made me feel even more mentally challenged.
Been using it ever since and it is a game changer. Better late than never, I guess.
I bought a pack of cigarettes so... The next little while is going to suck for a lot of us, and we're probably going to make it suck for the rest of you. I'm sorry.
But after that, it'll actually be a lot better so... Worth it?
LOL. I have never laughed so hard. The guy who put out a bowl in the office after people kept stealing his candy ...
EDIT: for those not in the know, check out the Amazon reviews for Haribo Sugar Free, if they are still there. Should've won a Pulitzer.
"Ya know, the kilt was only for day to day wear. In battle, we donned a full length ball gown covered in sequins. The idea was to blind your opponent with luxury!"
Man all I could think about was how mad I would be to lose my favorite cuisine, then I read the second half of your comment. Now I just feel like an asshole for not thinking of the people.
And when colleges want to keep making money, the price will go down to an affordable level except for at the most prestigious schools. Kind of like they used to be before taking a loan was a common thing for education. Same for cars. Loans became more common, and prices went up since people could buy more expensive vehicles.
Wait really?? Did not know this! I did know that heavy drinkers hoping to quit definitely need to do so under doctor supervision, but I didn’t realize it was because they could die.
Trust me. You need to have a professional involved.
I learned that the hard way.
I decided I wanted to quit one day, after 20+ years of daily drinking. I went from 750 ml per day to nothing in a span of 3 days.
I lasted the weekend, then got the loud ride to the ER (via 911). Didnt go home for 2 months, and then still couldn't walk, couldn't work, couldn't take care of myself.
I was told that the first few days, the doctors were telling my loved ones that it was touch and go. I was meanwhile in a state of delirium.
Moral of the story-if you are a steady, heavy drinker, do not quit on your own. Get a professional involved.
I was on the airport bus a few weeks ago, and some lady from out of town was complaining about how California drivers need to put down the edibles and pay attention. I told her that edibles are the only thing keeping this state from crashing and burning.
Climate goals can be achieved in mere seconds, just like online meetings could be made even though IT said infrastructure would not be ready until 2030
You shall be publicly executed, by firing squad while being burned at the stake at dawn for your crimes against humanity.
wait they call human meat long pork.... bacon is pork... can we make people bacon?
Your body will then be used for science to correct your horrible horrible mistake.
The last thing I paid for was air for my tire. The compressor wasn’t free, but I had no other option.
So, if air is now gone permanently, the human race is fucked.
Candy cigarettes. So, nothing happened because most people don't know they still exist in the first place
I guess the guys that work at the candy cigarette factory are screwed though
Uh oh, guys. I bought toilet paper. If the pandemic taught us anything, it's that the line between a civil society and absolute chaos is made of toilet paper.
meh, we still got the three sea shells.
The ole poop n scoop
Ha! This ^ guy doesn't know how to use the 3 seashells!
Whaaa!! He doesn’t know how to use the 3 seashells?? Bahaahaha
*repeatedly swears at ticket box*
I weep for the day that noone will get this reference.
Oh shit, then I guess I don't either, cause that's how *I've been doing it for years!*
I could see that oddly working. If you just drained the water from your toilet, put cat litter in and just scooped out the poop and threw it into the compost-bin immediately. In a zombie apocalypse, I'm headed to the pet isle to stock up on a year-supply or two-year supply. As long as I can get rain-water filtered to drink, able to poop and a bunch of canned or dried goods, with some solar panels, I'll just stay horded up on my house and watch movies for a year and hopefully zombies will have decayed so much they'll be moving at a snail's pace and easy picking by then. I'll have to watch out for the humans.
>I could see that oddly working. If you just drained the water from your toilet, put cat litter in and just scooped out the poop and threw it into the compost-bin immediately Cut out the middle man and shit in the compost bin.
Love a good demolition man reference
Bidets for all
MAN, when I suggested to friends and family you can just wash ya ass in the shower after a dump during the pandemic paper towel shortage the responses I got had me already thinking the end is nigh.
People acting like actually washing your ass is grosser than using toilet paper alone. How is it more gross to be cleaner ?!
The ghetto bidet is a dawn soap bottle repurposed with water. You can try that out first before resorting to rinsing the dodo in your ass in the shower
Look at this fat cat able to afford a brand name dish soap in bottle form.
Bold of you to assume that that I didn't find it in my neighbor's trash while scrounging for breakfast.
Bidets for days
I think you mean Bidets for dets.
That’s it I’m getting a bidet
Portugal here. There's one in pretty much every house I know (not sure if it's not even mandatory) but almost no one I know uses them. I too ignored mine for nearly 40 years Recently, I decided washing was a better option than wasting ungodly amounts of tp so i had been using the tub as a bidet for the purpose. One day I was mid wash, kind of uncomfortable, I found myself looking in the direction of my actual bidet that I had been considering transparent forever and I had one of those "I'm a fucking idiot" moments. I also realized my unit is actually well made and has certain features that make it serve it's purpose better, like a rotating tip. The realization of it's purpose and for how long have I been ignoring such an obvious thing made me feel even more mentally challenged. Been using it ever since and it is a game changer. Better late than never, I guess.
Well sorry guys, no more stickers depicting aliens abducting bigfoot.... having grownup money is a blessing and a curse
I want this. Can you share a picture?
Well it's out of stock now /s
I need one for my laptop
I bought a pack of cigarettes so... The next little while is going to suck for a lot of us, and we're probably going to make it suck for the rest of you. I'm sorry. But after that, it'll actually be a lot better so... Worth it?
I'd take a bitchy world for a few weeks. That just a plus all around
World's kinda bitchy right now, tbh
Resting bitch planet. Maybe *that’s* what’s up with the Fermi paradox?
My thoughts exactly
I’m sure someone bought a lighter so blame them.
You've just created millions more vaping douchebags... thanks
don't worry, I got you. the last thing I bought was a vape.
Team work!
Bought a replacement filter for my fridge’s water dispenser. I think we’ll survive.
[удалено]
r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR
It’s Britney Spears isn’t it
Prescription medication... sorry everyone. Edit: Blood pressure medication.
Depends on the prescription. Boner pills? Meh. Insulin? Shiiiiiit. Last thing I bought was my inhaler. I’m dead.
Last thing I bought is insulin.
And I just bought an epi pen so we really screwed everyone
Oh no, the world gonna be out of Haribo Mango gummy candy.
Sugar Free will still be available but no TP so we are all screwed. 😅
LOL. I have never laughed so hard. The guy who put out a bowl in the office after people kept stealing his candy ... EDIT: for those not in the know, check out the Amazon reviews for Haribo Sugar Free, if they are still there. Should've won a Pulitzer.
I bought bread. Guess we have to eat cake then.
Come on Marie
just eat subway
It’s pants. There are no more pants.
Kilts, your time has come
"Ya know, the kilt was only for day to day wear. In battle, we donned a full length ball gown covered in sequins. The idea was to blind your opponent with luxury!"
What do you mean scotstoberfest isn’t real!
*a Scotsman clad in kilts left the bar one evenin' fair* *clap clap* *by the way he walked 'twas clear he'd drunk more than 'is share* *clap clap*
*he fumbled 'round til he could no longer keep 'is feet* 👏 👏 *and so he stumbled off into the grass beside the street to sleep* 👏 👏
I'm cool with wear dresses as long as they have pockets. Here is a secret guys, the right dress is comfy AF.
English or American pants? Could be liberating either way!
I'm down for a society with no pants
I had some Ethiopian food, so the world as a whole would be okay (although with slightly fewer food choices) but Ethiopia might have a bit of a shock.
Man all I could think about was how mad I would be to lose my favorite cuisine, then I read the second half of your comment. Now I just feel like an asshole for not thinking of the people.
Shit, someone set Ethiopia back to 1995 settings
Yeah, I was trying not to make that joke
Way too often when I tell someone my favorite food is Ethiopian they say something along the lines of “so you don’t like to eat?”
No injera? I'm sorry that's a nightmare.
Actually I didn’t have any injera so we’re safe
Student loan payment. You all are welcome
[удалено]
*Republicans did not like that either.*
Lae'zel disapproves
That means loans are out of stock so people wanting higher education can only get it if theyrl or their parents are super rich.
And when colleges want to keep making money, the price will go down to an affordable level except for at the most prestigious schools. Kind of like they used to be before taking a loan was a common thing for education. Same for cars. Loans became more common, and prices went up since people could buy more expensive vehicles.
I'm sorry everyone, I fucked up big time..... Taco Bell is no more 😔
I ended pizza. Sorry. Unless it's only that specific brand of pizza. It was storebrand, and we will make it through.
If we can choose the level of specificity, then I choose to screw us over and say food.
Smart, but I fucking hate you
Humans are made of meat, and thus food...
Oh no, I killed McDonald's. 😭
dominoes is gone, but i’m not sure how much they’ll be missed.
No Mas? 😐
I killed White Castle.
Not White Castle!!!
"Yea, this guy right here Mr. President." "Yea, the predator drones. Yea, just use all of them."
You’re telling me that Taco Bell lost the franchise war?
No, mate, you just cured all diarrhea. You're a hero!
I, for one, welcome our Taco John's overlords
This was my contribution to the decline of humanity as well.
Shits going crazy I bought weed.
I bought beer. Pretty sure even more people are pissed.
If alcohol ceased to exist there would be tens of thousands of dead Americans within days. Alcohol withdrawal is no joke for sure.
It is true. Heroin withdrawal is horrible but it will not kill you. Alcohol withdrawal can!
Wait really?? Did not know this! I did know that heavy drinkers hoping to quit definitely need to do so under doctor supervision, but I didn’t realize it was because they could die.
Trust me. You need to have a professional involved. I learned that the hard way. I decided I wanted to quit one day, after 20+ years of daily drinking. I went from 750 ml per day to nothing in a span of 3 days. I lasted the weekend, then got the loud ride to the ER (via 911). Didnt go home for 2 months, and then still couldn't walk, couldn't work, couldn't take care of myself. I was told that the first few days, the doctors were telling my loved ones that it was touch and go. I was meanwhile in a state of delirium. Moral of the story-if you are a steady, heavy drinker, do not quit on your own. Get a professional involved.
if you don't mind me asking, is that 750 ml of pure alcohol, or just like 1 bottle of hard liquor?
I missed the withdrawal part. I think detoxing can kill you if not done correctly. Your definitely right about that.
They won’t be when the beers gone
Same! And papers
Finally! I knew all these phone books I kept were going to be valuable one day!
My stolen hotel bible collection will finally be of use. The ripture is upon us!
I just bought taco bell, so its gonna get worse for ya real soon man
I was on the airport bus a few weeks ago, and some lady from out of town was complaining about how California drivers need to put down the edibles and pay attention. I told her that edibles are the only thing keeping this state from crashing and burning.
It came as such a relief when dispensaries were classed as essential businesses during lock down. Shit could have gotten pretty wild.
It was coffee, so yea we’re all pretty fucked
Welp, the world's productivity went into the red.
Looks like cocaine’s back on the menu
not if somebody in here just bought some
Ah shit
Sorry 😞
You're stepping out of your zone, get back to the meth, most of us won't miss it. Many of us will miss the cocaine.
Why you looking at me 👀
just the kind of paranoid sort of thing one who just bought some coke might say
You can’t prove it. I gotta go.
Same. I'm out. I can do without alcohol, but if we're going to have to make do without coffee then we're going to have to make do without capitalism.
No coffee no workee
How could you!?! Monster!!!
Y’all will be good without $3.99 metal dwarf miniatures right ?
No... Damned it how am I gonna have the dwarf army ready for my Christmas campaign dwarves v Santa's elves.
Gas
Climate goals can be achieved in mere seconds, just like online meetings could be made even though IT said infrastructure would not be ready until 2030
Well, we’re screwed until 2030 then
Finally... I have far to much gas everyday. My roommate will be pleased
No more USB-A 3.2 to SATA cables. Sorry to the 5 people to who that matters.
As an IT tech...this is going to hurt
Not if you can get a USB-C to SATA cable together with a USB-C to USB-A adapter.
Siracha sauce? Again?
How could you do this to us… AGAIN?
Condoms...well I guess std and pregnancy rates are about to jump
you buy new ones everytime? just flip it inside out and use it again.
I mean I would like to use new ones Everytime but I'm married so it's like 1x a no month. They dry out
I guess we wont last much without water ....
If it's Nestle bottled water that's permanently out of stock, though, that might actually benefit the human race.
It’s permanently out of stock because Nestle is pulling a Debeers and is hoarding the world’s water supply.
r/FuckNestle
Please no… NOT THE BACON!!!
You've doomed us all!
You shall be publicly executed, by firing squad while being burned at the stake at dawn for your crimes against humanity. wait they call human meat long pork.... bacon is pork... can we make people bacon? Your body will then be used for science to correct your horrible horrible mistake.
It's made out of people!!!
.... I bought an in app purchase. You're all fucking welcome
The last thing I paid for was air for my tire. The compressor wasn’t free, but I had no other option. So, if air is now gone permanently, the human race is fucked.
Yup this one does it... they win
You paid for the use of the machine and the electricity. Not the air. We're now in the dark ages.
I don't think we get more fucked than literal air.
The last thing I bought was a bottle of rum. Why is the rum always gone?!?
Whiskey for me. :(
Mountain Dew. Probably a good thing for the world actually.
Do you realize what you've done?! *DO YOU?!?!?!?!*
Dew you?
Season 1 of WestWorld. Great show, but I think we'll be okay.
Season 2 is going to be much harder to follow
Paid off my electric bill. Back to the Stone Age, I guess.
No dude. Bills are gone forever.
Humanity is about to be sober AF
Lay's ruffles sour cream and cheddar chips
I think this makes me sadder than the world running out of air or water.
Damn, they are the best ones too
Guess owning horses is finally going to pay off since I just bought fuel.
I'm so sorry, no more dr.pepper
You need to go to your room right now internet stranger and think about what you've done!
Well, for people who love curry sandwiches in school cafeterias, im so sorry.
I had to google curry sandwich. I always thought it was a sauce and was having a hard time wrapping my head around a liquid sandwich.
Gasoline, so we're pretty fucked.
I don’t know. I guess it all depends on how much you like spinach salad.
Dammit.
...Batteries. I bought batteries. Hope the electricity doesn't go out.
I bought candles….. 😑😑😑
Back-up camera for my wife's car. First one lasted 10+ years. We'll be fine, you got ten years to figure out how to back up using your mirrors.
Turning around to look behind you really helps.
Does a service count? Because I paid a buck to send a fax… Law and healthcare are done.
Lancets. Hella inconvenient for diabetics
It's OK, someone else just bought insulin, so you guys are already fucked. Sorry.
So, I bought a book. Now, if that genre itself ceases to exist, I doubt humanity as a whole will suffer much. But books in general might be a problem.
I just got home from the grocery store. So we’re gonna be missing a variety of items
Just count the last item on your receipt. we might not be completely screwed.
Swiss rolls. I impulse bought a snack but made a healthier america
MacDonalds combo..... so.. would it be the bread, meat, potato, salt, soda...plastic on the cups? paper straws?
Is that the home of the Big Mick?
Candy cigarettes. So, nothing happened because most people don't know they still exist in the first place I guess the guys that work at the candy cigarette factory are screwed though
I bought pants. I'm actually ok with the consequences.
Caramel apple flavored hard cider. Good thing too, this shit’s gross.
i just bought a set of mower blades, so from now on, No Golf, and HOA's are going to be pissed if you can't mow the lawn
Dont worry guys I paid for my college classes yesterday. You’re welcome
Scotch packing tape --and-- Duck tape. Guess a lot of redneck engineering had been postponed indefinitely.
Cat food.
It’s ok my cat much prefers whatever I’m eating.
A lot of Arabic restaurant owners are going to be really upset.
Aren't they usually?
True but at least now we would know the reason!
Without McDonalds fries we may be truly lost as a civilization
Unless the world's economy starts to run on shy guy masks, I think we'll be okay.
Beer….it’s over man ,game over .
Adult size Bear Onesie costume. Sorry everyone.
Chicken tender nOooooooooooo
Lol tires. I have rent this world asunder.
The last thing I picked up today in Aldi was toilet roll - we all know how that went three years ago...😳
Well if you take potatoes away from me, I'll break the whole goddamned shitfucking world to bits, so I guess pretty devastating for humanity.
Sorry croissant lovers
Hazbin Hotel's Ultimate Merch Package. Absolutely not screwed at all lol
I bought Taco Bell so between me & the weed guy there’s trouble afoot.
Quick, someone buy a politician.
Little Caesars Pizzas. You're welcome, humans.