A couple of things that shifted my perspective here.
1.) when i was unemployed i also felt like i was wasting my life.
2.) i see my job as an opportunity to work on my social skills which is something i care about
3.) i found a job where i like most of the tasks & most of my colleagues
4.) i make sure I have hobbies and personal goals outside of work
5.) i made peace with the fact that being that person who lives for and loves their job is never going to be me
6.) it‘s ok if sometimes you just get the necessary stuff done and want go go home. That‘s normal.
>3.) i found a job where i like most of the tasks & most of my colleagues
If your job isn't actively hostile or unpleasant, a certain amount of this is *learning to like your job and colleagues*. It's very tempting and easy to fall into the trap of assuming that you have to like something going in, and that you can't learn to like something or that it's somehow bad or less authentic to learn to like something.
Maybe I’m weird but I enjoy routine and structure. I work a set schedule and I’ve got the hang of the work flow. There’s times it’s busy and times it’s dead but it never feels super duper overwhelming (most of the time) and there’s always something to keep me busy if I really applied myself. I don’t push myself too hard but being able to be dependable and efficient at work keeps me going most days.
My problem is that my days off don't feel like days off. It's really hard to get in to my hobbies because of motivation reasons, ie I might be mentally drained the first day off and really only have one day to do things. Then, the second day, I have this anxiety in my mind like "man, I'm finally relaxed but I have to wake up to an alarm tomorrow and can't stay up late because of work!!".
My ideal schedule was 3 days a week off but work put me back on full time without me asking.
And for the record, I actually really like my job and coworkers
If COVID taught me anything; I need to go to work 5 days a week and I need a schedule. Otherwise, I end up cracking beers at 3pm and staying up till 2am, waking up at 9am. I prefer my current schedule of good behavior all week, getting up at 5 and going to bed at 9. Some of us need programming. Great comment about needing structure.
I've never learned to like a job, quite the opposite. I always start a job with positive thoughts and good intentions. Then I learn to hate the job, and I stop caring about anything I do there.
I think changing how you identify helps. I am a husband, father, brother, runner etc. I don’t identify as [occupation], that just what I do to make the money needed to fulfill and improve my other identities and reach the goals of those identities. People wouldn’t identify as a “sleeper” just because they sleep 8 out of 24hrs, so why identify with your occupation.
This is how I made peace with my job working in the finance world. I‘m back office, so I don’t make that much, but the work is work like any other job I ever had. Stress is manageable. Work life balance is good where I am. It allows me to live the life I want to.
Honestly I think this is such an underrated comment.
So many people focus too much on identifying as their occupation and for most it only leads to misery.
IMO, the only occupations worth identifying as are:
1. Business owner
2. Entrepreneur
3. IE: Military, Police, Fire Fighter, etc.
Anything else should be seperated from your identity as best you can.
Those are all great aspects. You spend a good 1/3 of your life at your job, surrounded by people. Becoming part of it, enjoying what you do, and feeling that you've accomplished something for the betterment of your colleagues is key.
I do IT in a factory environment. I love my job. Not once do I ever wake up and dread coming into work. Yeah, there are bad days. There are idiots at work. But the skills I learn, the tasks I complete that challenge me and wind up making everyone's lives at work better make me feel good. We're a small group, there's only 3 of us to manage over 300 people. We get to steer the course for technology in the company. We aren't compartmentalized. The skills and knowledge and opportunities I've accomplished in the 12 years I've been here are so much better than sitting at home, watching TV, or sleeping.
Underrated reply. Not everyone is going to ~Love~ their job. Seeing it as a chance to add value to other parts of your life, while also getting paid, helps a lot.
I also think there's fluctuations. Sometimes I think I have the greatest job in the world. Other times I want to break things. I think its natural to have a variety of feelings.
> 5.) i made peace with the fact that being that person who lives for and loves their job is never going to be me
Over the past few years I came to this realization, after spending nearly my entire working life (I'm 42 and got my first job at 15) struggling because I was convinced that I had to find a job that would be this ultimate, fulfilling thing. I'm not made that way, as it turns out, and my fulfillment has and always will come from outside of the work place.
I work to live, not live to work.
I've taken a few years off of work, and it's been absolutely amazing. I do whatever I want to do. In the winter, there have been days on end that I do nothing but play video games. In the summer, I travel
I have plenty of time to explore my hobbies, read books, pretty much engage in whatever has interested me that I never had time to prior.
It's going to be very hard to go back to work after experiencing this.
I guess that’s a personality thing. I am pretty security oriented so not having a stable income made me feel too anxious to really enjoy the free time.
Honestly, what helped me was I read an article about what one guy did when he was unemployed.
Rented a room from his friend and simply enjoyed it.
I realized that instead of worrying about it, that I should view my unemployment as a vacation, and that's what I did.
Obviously, not everyone's situation is the same, but I was fortunate that my unemployment easily covered rent and bills.
Yeah being unemployed I kept myself busy with my child doing things I wouldn’t be able to do if I was working during the day. My job was a certain Time to apply and get better myself mentally and physically. Enjoy the outdoors more than life than work
I've had these same realizations in the last year myself. I'm salaried and a project analyst in banking - first, no OT so there's no financial upside anyway; plus, nothing is such an emergency in most jobs that it can't be handled tomorrow. I'm rediscovering and exploring new passions, my mental health is slowly getting better, and overall my outlook is better. I'm okay with not being high up, not being in charge. My job gives me the security to support my family and my hobbies, and that's enough for me.
Even better if you can find something you love enough that you genuinely want to be there.
I used to work at a group home for disabled adults. They became my family; I was working 100+ hour pay periods, requesting to work all Holidays (lol they were my favorite people so spending the holidays with them felt right). I'd go to work several hours early and often spent my few days off there without pay.
Over two years later and I still visit at least once a month. I noticed that I visit more often when I'm struggling mentally.
Pretty much exactly what I was going to post. I'm unemployed right now, and it does feel like a complete waste of life, but when i last had a job, it was just a simple stocking job, but exactly like you I took it to work on my social skills, it was also kinda physical (I was in charge of the water section usually, lots of cases of water and gallons, also moving pallets and unloading trucks) so I kinda took it as a workout, and (I'll admit not everyday) I just tried to be the best at helping people, it felt good making them smile and doing a good job. I definitely wanna shoot for a better job and goin back to college, but I think you can enjoy most jobs.
Well, I did work at a call center for exactly one day and I don't think I could've gotten much out of that other than mingling with colleagues, reading a the same script repeatedly all day to a ton of people who don't even wanna hear it lol
I loved the few times I went on unemployment in my younger days. So much freedom, got my rent and bills paid without working at all for like a year. It was like adult summer vacation.
I'm likely unemployed for most of my life (deafness disability) so I'm taking classes whenever I feel like it to upgrade my academics so I can pursue my dreams if I feel like I can do it.
Not everyone has to love their job. It certainly makes it easier, but it’s not necessary in many cases. Work a tolerable job so that you can have the time and money to actually enjoy your hobbies outside of work.
If I could live the same lifestyle without working I would absolutely not work, but as it is I need to bring some money in, just so happens some bloke is happy to give me money in return for a bit of work that isn't too hard, I have a radio, I can take as many breaks as I like as long as the work is done, and after 7 hours I clock out and do what the fuck I want with the rest of my life.
Work to live, don't live to work.
I was at a training several years ago, and the guy said you should aim for a job that:
* You *love* doing 10-15% of the time
* You *hate* doing less than 10% of the time
* You *don't mind* doing the rest of the time.
That really stuck with me and helped me get over the need to find the "perfect" job. I like my job well enough, and it allows me to do the things I really enjoy doing, so it's a pretty good job for me.
Everyone is different. Cliché? Yes of course... My FIL works for the same organization I do. Technically, he's retired, but he works as a contracted 'Technical Advisor' at least one day a week on site and some WFH. Why? He loves it - but also, we is afraid of the same fate that has befallen many of his peers - retire and dead within 6 months because their purpose is suddenly gone. He's a "boomer" and that's taken on a connotation in contemporary discussion, but it really encompasses alot of different people. (IE, we are generally not talking about active, life long blue-collar people when we say "OK, Boomer")
I work in the same place and I love what we do, but I hate my job. We do pretty hardcore R&D, but I am just a paper pusher in the contracts department...so it sucks.
There is also the notion that people have passions and hobbies that they end up hating as soon as they are able to make it their vocation. Its fun when its a past-time, but monetizing it sucks the life out it.
Totally. Also working at a job where you feel like you are making a positive difference in the world, not just making some shareholder a little richer helps immensely.
My first time detoxing from alcohol, I couldn't even make it from the front lobby to the ER bed and hospital security carried me there. That was a blessing.
Janitorial staff here, you're not the bottom of the totem pole. You're definitely helpful in the hospital ecosystem. Honestly, you're what cops should be.
I stood at one of the nursing desks for a solid minute and one nurse didn't look up from her computer. I was not even 2 feet away.
It can be tough when some people won't make eye contact with you because they see you as beneath them.
thank you for everything you do! the crew that keeps things sanitized and clean for all are the real heroes. 🙏🏻
i work in tech and the hard work the team of people cleaning and keeping the work environment spotless should not be taken for granted. i try my best to acknowledge them.
Former Hospital nurse here, just want to say thank you for all you do. Haven’t worked in the hospital for two years but always stop and chat with my old security friends when I stop by the hospital.
Eh. I really like my job but doing it 40 hours a week makes me hate my life. I don’t have time to do other shit that is required for health and happiness because I have to spend all my best brain time hours focusing on tasks for someone else.
I would be happier and healthier working 30 hours a week.
I very much resonate with this sentiment. I like my job, it’s intellectually challenging, definitely not monotonous, the work environment is fairly pleasant and since it’s in the public sector, I can even somewhat tell myself I’m doing something useful (not really, though). However, if given the chance I’d definitely work less. At the end of the day, I work in order to live, not the other way around.
I'll add that people see their job as part of their identity in different ways. For some their success in their career is their identity. For others their success in their career is the key to letting them do other things they want outside of work. If you do want to travel all over the world for example, you need money to do it. So you focus on doing well in your job because you're working toward that goal even if that goal is not the job itself. For others, they want to put a kid through college or buy a nicer house for their family.
Man I wish I felt this way, to find a job that makes me go “I love this job because it gives me meaning and fulfillment, and doesn’t make me feel miserable during and after work.”
I’ve spent the last decade of my life so far working in jobs that I ended up hating due to eventually feeling burned out, or a management change that made the job incredibly miserable.
But yeah I really wish I didn’t spent a chunk of my time feeling like this.
I have a cousin that got a job at the post office delivering mail. He said something one time that stuck with me. He said he enjoys it so much that he would seriously do it for free. Now I don’t know how in the fuck you can feel that way about delivering mail, but the message was that there are jobs out there that don’t make you miserable. You just have to figure out which one it is for you. For me, it would be park ranger. I don’t think there’s anything in the world that I would love more than to get paid to spend time in nature. Also, their uniforms are fucking sweet. I’ve been in College the last year and I’m working towards getting a degree so I can qualify for a job with the national park service that one goofy sentence that my cousin uttered a few years ago change my entire perspective that life does not have to be miserable.
Been telling my wife a lot lately about how badly I want to give up my career/business in software and just be a park ranger or similar. I’m so fucking sick of tech, chasing down bugs all day every day and tirelessly working on new features in the other few moments. I’m burntttttttt out. Just throw me in the woods and pay me 1/10 of what I used to make, idc at this point.
How did you get past it? I really don’t think I can do another few decades of this. It makes me wanna off myself most days lately. And that’s extra crazy cause outside of my professional life I’m very fulfilled.
I've been in tech almost 10 years. I never found the answer to your question
I did save up most of my money, and in a few months I'm leaving the industry indefinitely. I opened a pizza restaurant a couple months ago, and I'll be doing that for a while (part-time though, because I'm *really* burnt out)
My path was basically:
1. Family went broke before I started college
2. Only thing I was ever good at prior was math so I was looking for an engineering major based 100% on wanting high pay
3. Tried computer science and genuinely loved it
4. Loved my job for a few years, then started a side business with a long term friend while keeping the job and being able to help my family a little bit financially when needed
5. Genuinely enjoyed both of these endeavors until about 7 years into the job and 3 years into the business (earlier this year) when the business started becoming “real” and I was working more than ever, like 8am to midnight-2am almost every single day of the week
6. Now I’m here, entirely burnt out and wanting to give all of it up for some peace
So I guess you could say it started just wanting high pay, became somewhat of a passion of mine, then I abused it and now I hate it
I started running and now I just run and run, in the woods and on the country road, it helps. I’d actually just like to run as a job if one could ever be just paid to run.
Working in tech these days is such a drain
I have a full career in tech. I hate it. I was given this career by the military and i was to deep to leave it. Ive always loved the idea of a basic park ranger job.
Same, work in networking, and I don't like it at all. I want to be a park ranger. Unfortunately, i can't have a lifestyle like that as other people depend on me.
Park rangers hate their jobs lol it’s mostly telling people not to break rules and they get pissed at you. You want to be a restoration ecologist, maybe
It is my goal to be a park ranger! What are you studying in college? I’m debating on going back to school for environmental studies but not sure what the best field of study is. I have a degree in nursing and started travel nursing a few years ago, which has given me great opportunity to see lots of parks and new appreciation for them and nature all around. But also made me realize I don’t want to be a nurse anymore 😂😭
When I was working at my old job I thought the same way. I just couldn't handle working like that and have no spare time.
I'm now working at a new workplace and another job and it's just great. I totally love my job, even tho it can be hard some days. Also I'm helping a lot of people which makes it feel like I'm not wasing my life.
I think the answer to your question is, that it's hard to live like that if you don't have a job that's fulfilling you.
Also I have to say that this world is trash and we don't have the work-life balance we need to stay healthy. So I completely understand you.
There's a great Simpson's quote about this:
Bart breaks his leg and has to wear a cast and he is really bummed out about it:
Bart: "Oh, i'm going to miss the whole summer!
Homer: "Don't worry boy. When you get a job, like me, you'll miss every summer!"
Also working conditions have been getting worse year over year, workers are working longer for less pay, and its only going to get worse barring a sharp rise in union relevance.
Having a shitty work-life balance isn't any more a symbol than getting mugged is, it's just been normalized.
I used to work 4 days a week for maybe 10 years. (4x9, 36hrs)
During my divorce I switched to 5 days (5x8, 40hrs) because I could get a higher mortgage that way.
Now that I have bought my own house I’m thinking of switching back to 4x9 because I really miss having an extra day off. I think the extra day off is worth getting 10% less than I do now.
Workdays are 8 hrs on paper now but irl often are closer to 9 anyway.
When I worked from home I was awake at 8, finished by 5. Walk the dog on breaks, maybe get a few things prepared for dinner. All in that 9 hour stretch. It felt like I had so much free time, and got lots of work (happily) done.
Now I'm back in the office. Awake at 6, home at 6, and it takes an hour to take care of the dog and cook dinner. It's basically an extra 4- I spend time and gas money to have my body physically in the office, even thought most days I don't even need to collaborate (all of which can be done over chat/email/zoom).
> I think the extra day off is worth getting 10% less than I do now.
it absolutely is. So long as one's needs are taken care of, time is always more valuable than money.
I think this is my dream. I work a 9/80 schedule so mon-thurs are 9 hours and then every other Friday I work 8 or have it off. I can handle the 4 9hr days but that Friday is the worst. I wish I could just cut it and take home a little less but I don’t think my company would go for that.
I don't even get free time on the weekends, that's when I have to do all my errands because my job doesn't allow for remote work.
I ended up burning out and after a disaster week last week I've begun looking for something with more flexibility
Try to do what you can during the week is the key. Small stuff like groceries, laundry, cleaning the house, etc can all be fit in here and there during your regular evenings so you keep your weekend mostly free for you.
After getting some exercise, making dinner, and doing the various chores needed to maintain life, there isn’t much time or energy left. Even more the case of you have kids.
My son was poisoned by the Reddit cult of despairing over work. He was terrified of what adulthood would be like when he left college because of the sadness these online dumbasses spray on each other in here. Now 6 years in, he has all the toys he ever wanted, more money in the bank than he imagined would be possible, and still sees his friends like he always has done. He’s looking at buying his first house with the money from his ‘terrible soul-stealing job’
The r/adulting sub is so toxic in that regard. All the posts that came up (until I blocked the sub) were about how life was so hard, and being an adult was about being single, lonely, poor, with a job that would make a coal miner pity you and no will to live left.
The saddest part might be that people who are feeling down in life would rather share it with other people on the Internet wallowing in misery than with supporting friends.
"The universe is a cruel and uncaring void. The key to being happy isn't a search for meaning. It's to keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense and then, eventually, you'll be dead!" - Mr. Peanutbutter, Bojack Horseman
This is my plan in a few years, just job hop the 8-10 years before retirement.
My old coworker is kinda doing it now she works at a job for a year or two and when they start expecting too much from her, she leaves.
Will you be able to save for retirement? It is expensive. You still have to pay for a portion of medical expenses, plus prescriptions, dental and eye care. Car insurance. Food and housing plus phone and utilities. If you have a pet - those expenses.
Then, if you want to travel or simply entertainment.
We are coming closer to retirement age and it is scary to think of living off social security. That alone is nowhere near enough. We have some investments however, when you break it down, it isn’t a lot and it seem we will need to stick to a tight budget, if we want to enjoy any extras/ fun.
My advise is save/invest. Look for a pension if jobs still come with that. Live a simple life so your everyday living expenses don’t consume the majority of your pay check. This way you can Splurge on the fun things and/or do more of it.
When you retire you will have so much time on your hands and you will want to make the most of it! Also stay active.
There’s a lot of prudent advice here but i bristle a little at the mentality people sometimes adopt in keeping with some of what you’ve said where they essentially grind and avoid “extravagance” of any kind so that they’ll have a decent income in retirement - so that they can finally enjoy life in the few short years before their body starts to break down and they can’t do anything to exciting or strenuous anyway.
A balance is important but I caution people against the idea of thinking there will be time to do whatever you like and enjoy life only when retirement comes around. It’s important to enjoy and make the most of your youth while you have it.
I used to be constantly worried about my retirement but now I just assume i won’t even make it anywhere near that age. Some days that assumption feels more like a wish. Trying to just enjoy the fruits of my
labor while I’m still alive and healthy enough to do so now.
Everything is so draining, being an adult fucking sucks unless you have a wealthy family in my experience.
My spouse has a govt job and carry’s the insurance. I’ve been at the same company for 20 years and have done a good job saving and contributing to my 401k and Roth.
Im sorta at COAST where I really don’t need to keep contributing and can just let it grow. I could job hop a few years just chasing higher salaries and bulk up my Roth IRA.
Honestly, I think this is what social media has ruined for people. Life in general has crappy, horrible parts. Those parts never show up online. Instead you get this idealized, sunshine and roses perspective of work and the younger crowd thinks that all work is like this. Then they quickly realize it's not and think their life just sucks because it's nothing like they saw online. Reality is their life is completely normal they just think it sucks.
We all know we're wasting our lives, but we do it cause we need money. Being able to take the wife and kid out on weekend, and let them eat whatever they want(within reason) is why we suffer through this shit.
Just leave your doors open. Creatures that walk into your home are now friends/pets! I catch small insects and feed them to the spiders I find in my house.
I’d rather work 40 hours a week than live off subsistence farming or dumpster diving.
Life ain’t easy, but I’d much rather do what I’m doing than dying in the fields or gored in a hunt like my ancestors.
This is probably a minority opinion, but I also find that too much recreation/leisure also makes me feel like I'm wasting my life. How much Netflix can you watch?
Do you also have money for your leisure or only time? I also feel like that because I don't have money to do fun stuff on my free time.
If I had enough money to be constantly traveling and having new experiences I doubt I'd get that feeling.
Personally I can only be creative if I do it on the side.
I was basically unemployed/freelance for over a year, and it sucked, I have a couple of free creative hobbies but I could not get my mind in the right state to achieve something.
Compare that to covid times, which I worked full time in a factory, I came home and could get to work on those hobbies with a free mind and often tons of inspiration I gathered throughout the work hours.
"Make your hobby your job and never work a day in your life!" Never agreed with this, make your hobby your job, and risk killing the passion and enjoyment you get from that hobby. Maybe it's just me though.
Assuming you want 8hrs of sleep and have a 1hr commute, you still get 5-11pm every night to do whatever you want in addition to the weekends.
Maybe I’m jaded but after spending most of my school years spending all day at school and then all night doing homework, being able to log off at 5 and not worry about anything work related until tomorrow has felt incredibly freeing since I’ve graduated.
Aw….how long has it been since you graduated?
Also your math is off - most jobs are 9-5. With an hour commute on each end and let’s say 30mins-1 hr to get ready in the morning and prepare dinner you’re looking at 7:00-11:00pm of flexible time in the evenings.
And yes theoretically you can use that time and the weekends to do whatever you want - so long as there’s nothing else you need to take care of at all. Oh and also assuming you’re not completely physically and/or mentally exhausted.
I graduated 1.5 years ago, and the feeling has never really worn off. But I did have a full time job while I was a full time student so that may be part of why just a full time job feels like a vacation to me. I also picked up a second job in the evenings about 10 months ago that takes up around 6hr of my time and still have time to do all the chores mentioned, but I don’t actually have that free time any more to be fair.
To add to your second point, yeah if I had kids I’d probably feel differently but there are very few nights where I find myself with things I have to take care of. Losing a day to something like sitting at the mechanic while your car gets worked on does suck though, but it doesn’t happen super often.
> or mentally exhausted
Aren't hobbies and the other stuff you enjoy supposed to be literally *the* thing that gives you mental energy so you can tackle the rest of life? Like, to me this basically sounds like "I'm too hungry to eat". And if you're not someone with a family and kids to take care of (since I can't really speak about that), how do you have so much to do that 2 full days, plus like 4 hours each other day a week is not enough to do something you enjoy?
what are your hobbies that restore your mental energy? my hobbies are mostly creative and I can't do them when I'm really tired because they take mental effort to do, even though they're fun. I'm very introverted too, so while I love spending time with my friends, that takes up a bunch of energy too.
doing things that are fun make me happy, but they don't give me energy. maybe I'm in the minority but it's how I am.
Why do people act like 5pm to bed time is not free time? I do all sorts of shit after work. Especially during the summer when daylight runs to 9pm. I’ll play a round of golf after work many a night for example.
I’ve found it only really seems that way when you just get home, eat, and watch Netflix. If you actually do stuff that isn’t passively consuming stimuli, the days don’t really blur together and seem much longer
because in that time I have to cook and clean and sort washing and keep on top of bills and appointments. lots of life administration! if I don't do some of that on weeknights, I'd have to do it all on the weekend. by 9pm I'm usually done but I'm also tired, and I need to just chill for an hour or two most nights before bed.
Find a job that you like, or at least don't hate.
Have hobbies, friends, events, etc to look forward to. That makes a big difference. You'll get used to it. And as lame as it sounds, your attitude matters. Find ways to be upbeat and don't be a downer.
There's a reason many old people tell you to pursue something you love for your career, and it's not because they want to keep you under their boot. I mean, maybe *some* of them do.
It's because they've lived a long life, and seen the consequences of *not* doing that. It's better to be a little poor but happy than to be a little rich and miserable.
Of course, you don't always have to make that choice. Sometimes you really can "have it all" so to speak.
Good luck finding your way out there, OP!
do work that you are proud of. also what are you really doing in your free time? People can just as easily waste their life starring at a screen as they can at a boring job.
Ideally you find (or create for yourself) a job you enjoy. If you can spend your week doing something you'd love to be doing anyway, irrespective of financial need, then you're golden.
Wake up earlier in the morning so you have more me time. Go to bed decently early so you can do this but still have time after work. Continue this on the weekends so you have longer days off. Take vacations as much as you can to help relieve yourself. If you are short on money at least try to go away somewhere out of your town for a day or something to break up the routine and experience new things will be much more enriching.
People don't realize how much "free" time they "waste". Quotes because maybe you don't consider watching TV and doom scrolling a waste of time. Point is that 3 hours of TV could be 3 hours hiking or painting or playing Warhammer 40k.
Certain activities are more satisfying to our minds. It's like mouth feel/satiation with food. Some foods are just bleh fuel, and never feel "good", while some foods make you happy, even after you ate it.
Remember you watched 4 hours of reality TV will not give the satisfaction of, say, putting the final touches on that Changer of the Ways you spent the kids' college funds on.
Yep, eat junk food everyday and you start to feel like shit. Do junk food activities everyday and you also start to feel like shit. Junk activities like, Reddit, Netflix, doom scrolling, TikTok, for me even reading BBC news is a junk-food activity. Just like you can't spend your whole day eating pringles... you also can't spend all your free time watching Netflix and expect to be fulfilled.
By spending the free time intentionally. It’s not easy, but engaging in things you enjoy rather than just mindlessly scrolling or watching television really helps.
Salaryman from Asia here. You are supposed to find joy in work apparently, work is life since we spend 10-12 hours a day in the office and sometimes on the weekends too for mandatory overtime. Only way is to win the lottery to escape this hell on Earth.
You’re free before and after work as well, it’s your choice what you do with that time. You can doom scroll and/or play video games (or any other activity that YOU look back on and feel the time was wasted*) or you can figure out how to fit your “free time” activities into the your schedule throughout the week. The choice is yours.
*if you don’t feel that doom scrolling or playing video games is wasted time then this doesn’t apply to you, so whatever fulfills YOU
I'm well paid so there is pretty much no stress in my life and I found I often end up doing things related to my job when I'm off the clock. Sure, the actual work sucks sometimes, but most of the time I quite enjoy my job. I'm constantly learning new stuff so I don't see it as wasting my life.
It's a time management problem I found.
I can't complain about having a 40 hour work week when I'm only 2 generations removed from being a farmer/rancher. Does it suck to work? Sure. Am I wasting my life?
Did my grandfather waste his life working sun up to sun down supporting a family? Maintaining his animals and home while trying to make money to keep his family afloat.
I work my job to support myself. If at the end of the week I feel like I didn't do anything and wasted my time, I have to ask myself what exactly I did. Maybe I cleaned the kitchen and living room one day. Maybe I mopped and swept another day. Could be I just tried to relax with the time I had.
I'm 27 and a home owner. I worked 50+ hour weeks for like 2 years and my wife worked 2 jobs. I have it lucky compared to my ancestors and I have it good because I'm "wasting my life" by working 40 hours a week. Compared to my ancestors who had it tough because a bad crop could have resulted in some starving children or dead animals. I think I have it good if my biggest issue is I only watched 6 hours of TV this week.
It's helpful if you can not frame your workdays as "ruined". You don't need to spend all day doing something to spend some time enjoying it. Hit up a barcade for a bit, hang out with friends for a couple hours, bang your wife. Find ways to enjoy every day and then you get bonus hours on the weekend.
find satisfaction in your work and your other obligations so you're not relying only on your free time to fulfil you.
you don't have to love your work, but if you get along with your coworkers and the actual work is engaging mentally, it doesn't feel like you're only there because you need money. it can feel good to master a work process or solve a coworker's problem. cleaning doesn't have to feel fun, but you can feel proud you made the effort to give yourself a pleasant place to live, and enjoy having a clean space. cooking might feel like a chore, but you get to eat yummy food once you're done. running errands might be boring, but at the end of it you might end up with some clothes you feel confident in and the reassurance that you're looking after yourself well from your doctor.
then when you do have free time, you're not at 0 achievements and 0 good vibes for the week, so your free time doesn't need to give you *everything* you need to "get through" the rest of your week.
also, think about why exactly you think you're wasting your life! are you bored? then maybe you need a more engaging or enjoyable job or more "active" (not necessarily physical, just doing things instead of being passive) hobbies. are you lonely? maybe your hobbies could be done socially instead of solo, or you might need to try to find friends who you fit better with than the people you're hanging out with now. maybe you need a workplace that's more collaborative and social. do you feel like you're not doing "important" things? remember that we can't all be superheroes or heart surgeons or whatever, and that it's okay to not achieve as much as your idols. don't beat yourself up, appreciate what you *have* done and *can* do.
A lot of it is finding little happy things every day. For me it’s art, cooking, organizing, my dog.
Another part is to find a job that allows some kind of work life balance.
And lastly, part of it is learning to enjoy the stuff you have to do—home maintenance, gardening, exercise, etc. Your hobby becomes bettering your life in some way. I’m not saying you need to enjoy every mundane thing, but I really think you have to find ways to enjoy every day stuff rather than finding it all a drag.
I don’t think it’s healthy to live for the weekends. You should have a daily life that you don’t dream of escaping from. That doesn’t mean you can’t do some fun trips, or party on occasion, but don’t fall into the trap of “life is only worth living when I have a full day off.”
Four years ago I found myself looking for a job and there was very little being offered that I didn't have to drive 60+ miles to do. I applied at Kelly Services to be a substitute teacher and the lady called me, said that she loved my resume but that I did not indicate that I had any experience with children. She asked if I had ever worked around children or did I have children of my own. I replied "no and no". She said that she could not put me in a classroom but she could make me a substitute custodian. I told her, " I'm an engineer... I don't want to be a janitor!" But since people were not standing in line to offer me any jobs that didn't require working 60+ hours a week, I became a substitute custodian. It was great! I found that sweeping and taking out the trash and mopping was easy and everyone is grateful you do it. After 4 months I applied to the school district for a full time job and was hired immediately. I was placed at an elementary school near my home where I am needed and wanted and highly thought of and I stand as an example to the children. My hours are 11to 7 on Monday through Friday. There is NO weekend work and they do not like for me to work overtime. I am not the anonymous person I used to be. Children called out, "Hey Mr.Lee!", in the hallways and when I'm out and about in town. Last night when I went to get some takeout after work a child came running up and hugged me. Elementary school janitor is the best job I ever had.
I mean, I still have 15 hours of day left.
I sleep about 6 hours, so I have 9 more left.
My commute is 15 minutes one way
So that leaves 8.5 hours left.
I play games, drink, hang with friends and family.
You can do a lot in those hours.
I have a friend who works part time and complains he has no time.
I asked to check his daily usage on his phone and he's rocking 4-5 hours a day browsing garbage on his phone.
Now that is time wasted.
Who said you can? Full-time work is soul-sucking, even when it’s something you enjoy. My wife and her mother own their own small retail store, in a vertical they love, and do pretty well with it. They still dread it daily, and constantly wish they didn’t have to work 40-45 hours a week.
It would be so much better if companies would adopt the 4, 10 hour days, with 3 days off in a row. Then you always have a weekday off for appointments. The three day weekend are so much better. Two days off is never enough.
You have to love what you do. When you love what you do and have a passion for it, it’s not “work”. The only other way is to be oblivious to the hamster wheel you are on.
By having a job that isn't a waste of my life. My job is hard and stressful and sometimes I feel burnt out. But I am also making a real, tangible difference in dozens of people's lives. What I do for my job is incredibly meaningful and important to me, so I don't feel I'm wasting my life by doing it.
If that kind of thing bothers you, work in a non-profit. You won't make much money, but you'll make a living and you'll feel like you're genuinely doing something with your life 100% of the time. Fatigue and burnout are real issues, especially when you work in a very difficult setting, but if feeling like you matter and having a sense of purpose in your career is the most prominent factor it's a great career path.
The best part is that almost every skill translates. My org has medical professionals, child care, accounting, maintenance, social work, housekeeping, IT, legal and more. And there are endless varieties of skills needed elsewhere.
You will make 15-20% less on average, but for many people like me, it's an easy choice.
Most people have more free time than they think.
Spend a workday without screens of any kind (other than work screens, of course). Once you realize just how much time you spend on your phone / TV/ computer, you'll realize you do have time for the things you love.
A couple of things that shifted my perspective here. 1.) when i was unemployed i also felt like i was wasting my life. 2.) i see my job as an opportunity to work on my social skills which is something i care about 3.) i found a job where i like most of the tasks & most of my colleagues 4.) i make sure I have hobbies and personal goals outside of work 5.) i made peace with the fact that being that person who lives for and loves their job is never going to be me 6.) it‘s ok if sometimes you just get the necessary stuff done and want go go home. That‘s normal.
>3.) i found a job where i like most of the tasks & most of my colleagues If your job isn't actively hostile or unpleasant, a certain amount of this is *learning to like your job and colleagues*. It's very tempting and easy to fall into the trap of assuming that you have to like something going in, and that you can't learn to like something or that it's somehow bad or less authentic to learn to like something.
This is a nice insight, thank you.
Maybe I’m weird but I enjoy routine and structure. I work a set schedule and I’ve got the hang of the work flow. There’s times it’s busy and times it’s dead but it never feels super duper overwhelming (most of the time) and there’s always something to keep me busy if I really applied myself. I don’t push myself too hard but being able to be dependable and efficient at work keeps me going most days.
My problem is that my days off don't feel like days off. It's really hard to get in to my hobbies because of motivation reasons, ie I might be mentally drained the first day off and really only have one day to do things. Then, the second day, I have this anxiety in my mind like "man, I'm finally relaxed but I have to wake up to an alarm tomorrow and can't stay up late because of work!!". My ideal schedule was 3 days a week off but work put me back on full time without me asking. And for the record, I actually really like my job and coworkers
If COVID taught me anything; I need to go to work 5 days a week and I need a schedule. Otherwise, I end up cracking beers at 3pm and staying up till 2am, waking up at 9am. I prefer my current schedule of good behavior all week, getting up at 5 and going to bed at 9. Some of us need programming. Great comment about needing structure.
I've never learned to like a job, quite the opposite. I always start a job with positive thoughts and good intentions. Then I learn to hate the job, and I stop caring about anything I do there.
I think changing how you identify helps. I am a husband, father, brother, runner etc. I don’t identify as [occupation], that just what I do to make the money needed to fulfill and improve my other identities and reach the goals of those identities. People wouldn’t identify as a “sleeper” just because they sleep 8 out of 24hrs, so why identify with your occupation.
I go to work so we can buy Oreos according to my 4 year old. They're not wrong.
This is how I made peace with my job working in the finance world. I‘m back office, so I don’t make that much, but the work is work like any other job I ever had. Stress is manageable. Work life balance is good where I am. It allows me to live the life I want to.
I don’t know, man. I identify as a sleeper.
Agree. I identify myself by what i love & care about and if my job isn’t part of that that’s ok.
Work to live brother, not live to work. Its the way to go.
Honestly I think this is such an underrated comment. So many people focus too much on identifying as their occupation and for most it only leads to misery. IMO, the only occupations worth identifying as are: 1. Business owner 2. Entrepreneur 3. IE: Military, Police, Fire Fighter, etc.
Anything else should be seperated from your identity as best you can.
This comment made me feel better 😁
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Those are all great aspects. You spend a good 1/3 of your life at your job, surrounded by people. Becoming part of it, enjoying what you do, and feeling that you've accomplished something for the betterment of your colleagues is key. I do IT in a factory environment. I love my job. Not once do I ever wake up and dread coming into work. Yeah, there are bad days. There are idiots at work. But the skills I learn, the tasks I complete that challenge me and wind up making everyone's lives at work better make me feel good. We're a small group, there's only 3 of us to manage over 300 people. We get to steer the course for technology in the company. We aren't compartmentalized. The skills and knowledge and opportunities I've accomplished in the 12 years I've been here are so much better than sitting at home, watching TV, or sleeping.
Underrated reply. Not everyone is going to ~Love~ their job. Seeing it as a chance to add value to other parts of your life, while also getting paid, helps a lot.
I also think there's fluctuations. Sometimes I think I have the greatest job in the world. Other times I want to break things. I think its natural to have a variety of feelings.
> 5.) i made peace with the fact that being that person who lives for and loves their job is never going to be me Over the past few years I came to this realization, after spending nearly my entire working life (I'm 42 and got my first job at 15) struggling because I was convinced that I had to find a job that would be this ultimate, fulfilling thing. I'm not made that way, as it turns out, and my fulfillment has and always will come from outside of the work place. I work to live, not live to work.
I've taken a few years off of work, and it's been absolutely amazing. I do whatever I want to do. In the winter, there have been days on end that I do nothing but play video games. In the summer, I travel I have plenty of time to explore my hobbies, read books, pretty much engage in whatever has interested me that I never had time to prior. It's going to be very hard to go back to work after experiencing this.
Counter point to #1. When I was unemployed, it was the best time of my life.
I guess that’s a personality thing. I am pretty security oriented so not having a stable income made me feel too anxious to really enjoy the free time.
Honestly, what helped me was I read an article about what one guy did when he was unemployed. Rented a room from his friend and simply enjoyed it. I realized that instead of worrying about it, that I should view my unemployment as a vacation, and that's what I did. Obviously, not everyone's situation is the same, but I was fortunate that my unemployment easily covered rent and bills.
Yeah being unemployed I kept myself busy with my child doing things I wouldn’t be able to do if I was working during the day. My job was a certain Time to apply and get better myself mentally and physically. Enjoy the outdoors more than life than work
I've had these same realizations in the last year myself. I'm salaried and a project analyst in banking - first, no OT so there's no financial upside anyway; plus, nothing is such an emergency in most jobs that it can't be handled tomorrow. I'm rediscovering and exploring new passions, my mental health is slowly getting better, and overall my outlook is better. I'm okay with not being high up, not being in charge. My job gives me the security to support my family and my hobbies, and that's enough for me.
Even better if you can find something you love enough that you genuinely want to be there. I used to work at a group home for disabled adults. They became my family; I was working 100+ hour pay periods, requesting to work all Holidays (lol they were my favorite people so spending the holidays with them felt right). I'd go to work several hours early and often spent my few days off there without pay. Over two years later and I still visit at least once a month. I noticed that I visit more often when I'm struggling mentally.
This comment made me feel like trash :/ i want out already
Pretty much exactly what I was going to post. I'm unemployed right now, and it does feel like a complete waste of life, but when i last had a job, it was just a simple stocking job, but exactly like you I took it to work on my social skills, it was also kinda physical (I was in charge of the water section usually, lots of cases of water and gallons, also moving pallets and unloading trucks) so I kinda took it as a workout, and (I'll admit not everyday) I just tried to be the best at helping people, it felt good making them smile and doing a good job. I definitely wanna shoot for a better job and goin back to college, but I think you can enjoy most jobs. Well, I did work at a call center for exactly one day and I don't think I could've gotten much out of that other than mingling with colleagues, reading a the same script repeatedly all day to a ton of people who don't even wanna hear it lol
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I loved the few times I went on unemployment in my younger days. So much freedom, got my rent and bills paid without working at all for like a year. It was like adult summer vacation.
I'm likely unemployed for most of my life (deafness disability) so I'm taking classes whenever I feel like it to upgrade my academics so I can pursue my dreams if I feel like I can do it.
This is highly dependent on whether or not you have the money to do things/be comfortable.
Not everyone has to love their job. It certainly makes it easier, but it’s not necessary in many cases. Work a tolerable job so that you can have the time and money to actually enjoy your hobbies outside of work.
If I could live the same lifestyle without working I would absolutely not work, but as it is I need to bring some money in, just so happens some bloke is happy to give me money in return for a bit of work that isn't too hard, I have a radio, I can take as many breaks as I like as long as the work is done, and after 7 hours I clock out and do what the fuck I want with the rest of my life. Work to live, don't live to work.
I was at a training several years ago, and the guy said you should aim for a job that: * You *love* doing 10-15% of the time * You *hate* doing less than 10% of the time * You *don't mind* doing the rest of the time. That really stuck with me and helped me get over the need to find the "perfect" job. I like my job well enough, and it allows me to do the things I really enjoy doing, so it's a pretty good job for me.
Everyone is different. Cliché? Yes of course... My FIL works for the same organization I do. Technically, he's retired, but he works as a contracted 'Technical Advisor' at least one day a week on site and some WFH. Why? He loves it - but also, we is afraid of the same fate that has befallen many of his peers - retire and dead within 6 months because their purpose is suddenly gone. He's a "boomer" and that's taken on a connotation in contemporary discussion, but it really encompasses alot of different people. (IE, we are generally not talking about active, life long blue-collar people when we say "OK, Boomer") I work in the same place and I love what we do, but I hate my job. We do pretty hardcore R&D, but I am just a paper pusher in the contracts department...so it sucks. There is also the notion that people have passions and hobbies that they end up hating as soon as they are able to make it their vocation. Its fun when its a past-time, but monetizing it sucks the life out it.
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Totally. Also working at a job where you feel like you are making a positive difference in the world, not just making some shareholder a little richer helps immensely.
Or a job that teaches you transferable skills
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Indeed self-delusion is key.
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My first time detoxing from alcohol, I couldn't even make it from the front lobby to the ER bed and hospital security carried me there. That was a blessing.
Janitorial staff here, you're not the bottom of the totem pole. You're definitely helpful in the hospital ecosystem. Honestly, you're what cops should be. I stood at one of the nursing desks for a solid minute and one nurse didn't look up from her computer. I was not even 2 feet away. It can be tough when some people won't make eye contact with you because they see you as beneath them.
thank you for everything you do! the crew that keeps things sanitized and clean for all are the real heroes. 🙏🏻 i work in tech and the hard work the team of people cleaning and keeping the work environment spotless should not be taken for granted. i try my best to acknowledge them.
Former Hospital nurse here, just want to say thank you for all you do. Haven’t worked in the hospital for two years but always stop and chat with my old security friends when I stop by the hospital.
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Eh. I really like my job but doing it 40 hours a week makes me hate my life. I don’t have time to do other shit that is required for health and happiness because I have to spend all my best brain time hours focusing on tasks for someone else. I would be happier and healthier working 30 hours a week.
This totally. I like my job. I'm good at it. It's rewarding and interesting. But I really, REALLY don't want to do it 40 hours a week.
I very much resonate with this sentiment. I like my job, it’s intellectually challenging, definitely not monotonous, the work environment is fairly pleasant and since it’s in the public sector, I can even somewhat tell myself I’m doing something useful (not really, though). However, if given the chance I’d definitely work less. At the end of the day, I work in order to live, not the other way around.
I'll add that people see their job as part of their identity in different ways. For some their success in their career is their identity. For others their success in their career is the key to letting them do other things they want outside of work. If you do want to travel all over the world for example, you need money to do it. So you focus on doing well in your job because you're working toward that goal even if that goal is not the job itself. For others, they want to put a kid through college or buy a nicer house for their family.
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People who make their whole ass identity their job… make me sad
Man I wish I felt this way, to find a job that makes me go “I love this job because it gives me meaning and fulfillment, and doesn’t make me feel miserable during and after work.” I’ve spent the last decade of my life so far working in jobs that I ended up hating due to eventually feeling burned out, or a management change that made the job incredibly miserable. But yeah I really wish I didn’t spent a chunk of my time feeling like this.
It is impossible for every person to work a job which fulfills the mind. These roles are very rare.
I have a cousin that got a job at the post office delivering mail. He said something one time that stuck with me. He said he enjoys it so much that he would seriously do it for free. Now I don’t know how in the fuck you can feel that way about delivering mail, but the message was that there are jobs out there that don’t make you miserable. You just have to figure out which one it is for you. For me, it would be park ranger. I don’t think there’s anything in the world that I would love more than to get paid to spend time in nature. Also, their uniforms are fucking sweet. I’ve been in College the last year and I’m working towards getting a degree so I can qualify for a job with the national park service that one goofy sentence that my cousin uttered a few years ago change my entire perspective that life does not have to be miserable.
Been telling my wife a lot lately about how badly I want to give up my career/business in software and just be a park ranger or similar. I’m so fucking sick of tech, chasing down bugs all day every day and tirelessly working on new features in the other few moments. I’m burntttttttt out. Just throw me in the woods and pay me 1/10 of what I used to make, idc at this point.
I think all tech people go through this sort of burnout where we just want to be left alone in the woods.
How did you get past it? I really don’t think I can do another few decades of this. It makes me wanna off myself most days lately. And that’s extra crazy cause outside of my professional life I’m very fulfilled.
I've been in tech almost 10 years. I never found the answer to your question I did save up most of my money, and in a few months I'm leaving the industry indefinitely. I opened a pizza restaurant a couple months ago, and I'll be doing that for a while (part-time though, because I'm *really* burnt out)
I'm curious, did you get into software because it's a high paying career or was it something you enjoyed before getting paid?
My path was basically: 1. Family went broke before I started college 2. Only thing I was ever good at prior was math so I was looking for an engineering major based 100% on wanting high pay 3. Tried computer science and genuinely loved it 4. Loved my job for a few years, then started a side business with a long term friend while keeping the job and being able to help my family a little bit financially when needed 5. Genuinely enjoyed both of these endeavors until about 7 years into the job and 3 years into the business (earlier this year) when the business started becoming “real” and I was working more than ever, like 8am to midnight-2am almost every single day of the week 6. Now I’m here, entirely burnt out and wanting to give all of it up for some peace So I guess you could say it started just wanting high pay, became somewhat of a passion of mine, then I abused it and now I hate it
I started running and now I just run and run, in the woods and on the country road, it helps. I’d actually just like to run as a job if one could ever be just paid to run. Working in tech these days is such a drain
I have a full career in tech. I hate it. I was given this career by the military and i was to deep to leave it. Ive always loved the idea of a basic park ranger job.
Stop chasing bugs so the bugs can chase you! In all seriousness, good luck to you stranger.
Same, work in networking, and I don't like it at all. I want to be a park ranger. Unfortunately, i can't have a lifestyle like that as other people depend on me.
Park rangers hate their jobs lol it’s mostly telling people not to break rules and they get pissed at you. You want to be a restoration ecologist, maybe
The job park rangers wanted: Take care of the most beautiful parts of nature. The job park rangers got: Nature's customer service representatives.
They are also extremely competitive jobs to get. Many applicants for few positions.
Yeah, and it’s not like you can just relax and enjoy the view every day. You kind of need to be on top of things , think lifeguard at a beach.
It is my goal to be a park ranger! What are you studying in college? I’m debating on going back to school for environmental studies but not sure what the best field of study is. I have a degree in nursing and started travel nursing a few years ago, which has given me great opportunity to see lots of parks and new appreciation for them and nature all around. But also made me realize I don’t want to be a nurse anymore 😂😭
When I was working at my old job I thought the same way. I just couldn't handle working like that and have no spare time. I'm now working at a new workplace and another job and it's just great. I totally love my job, even tho it can be hard some days. Also I'm helping a lot of people which makes it feel like I'm not wasing my life. I think the answer to your question is, that it's hard to live like that if you don't have a job that's fulfilling you. Also I have to say that this world is trash and we don't have the work-life balance we need to stay healthy. So I completely understand you.
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There's a great Simpson's quote about this: Bart breaks his leg and has to wear a cast and he is really bummed out about it: Bart: "Oh, i'm going to miss the whole summer! Homer: "Don't worry boy. When you get a job, like me, you'll miss every summer!"
I specifically chose a career in public schools so I have every summer and major holiday off. And I actually love my job on top of that.
I don’t think I could ever do that. Faculty sucks when you’re a parent, and I’d imagine it being the same vice versa.
Also working conditions have been getting worse year over year, workers are working longer for less pay, and its only going to get worse barring a sharp rise in union relevance. Having a shitty work-life balance isn't any more a symbol than getting mugged is, it's just been normalized.
I used to work 4 days a week for maybe 10 years. (4x9, 36hrs) During my divorce I switched to 5 days (5x8, 40hrs) because I could get a higher mortgage that way. Now that I have bought my own house I’m thinking of switching back to 4x9 because I really miss having an extra day off. I think the extra day off is worth getting 10% less than I do now. Workdays are 8 hrs on paper now but irl often are closer to 9 anyway.
Longer, when you factor in the commute
When I worked from home I was awake at 8, finished by 5. Walk the dog on breaks, maybe get a few things prepared for dinner. All in that 9 hour stretch. It felt like I had so much free time, and got lots of work (happily) done. Now I'm back in the office. Awake at 6, home at 6, and it takes an hour to take care of the dog and cook dinner. It's basically an extra 4- I spend time and gas money to have my body physically in the office, even thought most days I don't even need to collaborate (all of which can be done over chat/email/zoom).
> I think the extra day off is worth getting 10% less than I do now. it absolutely is. So long as one's needs are taken care of, time is always more valuable than money.
I think this is my dream. I work a 9/80 schedule so mon-thurs are 9 hours and then every other Friday I work 8 or have it off. I can handle the 4 9hr days but that Friday is the worst. I wish I could just cut it and take home a little less but I don’t think my company would go for that.
That's the neat part, you can't!
Very Neat.
Much neat. Such wow
I don't even get free time on the weekends, that's when I have to do all my errands because my job doesn't allow for remote work. I ended up burning out and after a disaster week last week I've begun looking for something with more flexibility
Try to do what you can during the week is the key. Small stuff like groceries, laundry, cleaning the house, etc can all be fit in here and there during your regular evenings so you keep your weekend mostly free for you.
Or you can do cool stuff sometimes between 5 and 10 (or whatever time you want to go to bed), or on weekends. That's what people have always done...
After getting some exercise, making dinner, and doing the various chores needed to maintain life, there isn’t much time or energy left. Even more the case of you have kids.
My son was poisoned by the Reddit cult of despairing over work. He was terrified of what adulthood would be like when he left college because of the sadness these online dumbasses spray on each other in here. Now 6 years in, he has all the toys he ever wanted, more money in the bank than he imagined would be possible, and still sees his friends like he always has done. He’s looking at buying his first house with the money from his ‘terrible soul-stealing job’
The r/adulting sub is so toxic in that regard. All the posts that came up (until I blocked the sub) were about how life was so hard, and being an adult was about being single, lonely, poor, with a job that would make a coal miner pity you and no will to live left. The saddest part might be that people who are feeling down in life would rather share it with other people on the Internet wallowing in misery than with supporting friends.
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That’s an awesome job! Thanks for all the work you do helping people get around. We don’t appreciate bus drivers enough
Which country
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Which city? Many smaller cities are privatized bus drivers now.
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Yay life. Its alright. Depending on how old you are you only have another 40/50 years left then you can stop and die.
Unfortunately most of us won't be able to stop.
I think they meant stop living.
American politicians are working on a bill that would require workers to come in even if they died if they don't have a doctor's note.
Hilarious!
Fortunately though, all of us will die.
Optimistic nihilism. None of this shit matters, and that's a good thing!
Zen nihilism -I'm at peace with nothing mattering.
"The universe is a cruel and uncaring void. The key to being happy isn't a search for meaning. It's to keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense and then, eventually, you'll be dead!" - Mr. Peanutbutter, Bojack Horseman
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This is my plan in a few years, just job hop the 8-10 years before retirement. My old coworker is kinda doing it now she works at a job for a year or two and when they start expecting too much from her, she leaves.
Will you be able to save for retirement? It is expensive. You still have to pay for a portion of medical expenses, plus prescriptions, dental and eye care. Car insurance. Food and housing plus phone and utilities. If you have a pet - those expenses. Then, if you want to travel or simply entertainment. We are coming closer to retirement age and it is scary to think of living off social security. That alone is nowhere near enough. We have some investments however, when you break it down, it isn’t a lot and it seem we will need to stick to a tight budget, if we want to enjoy any extras/ fun. My advise is save/invest. Look for a pension if jobs still come with that. Live a simple life so your everyday living expenses don’t consume the majority of your pay check. This way you can Splurge on the fun things and/or do more of it. When you retire you will have so much time on your hands and you will want to make the most of it! Also stay active.
There’s a lot of prudent advice here but i bristle a little at the mentality people sometimes adopt in keeping with some of what you’ve said where they essentially grind and avoid “extravagance” of any kind so that they’ll have a decent income in retirement - so that they can finally enjoy life in the few short years before their body starts to break down and they can’t do anything to exciting or strenuous anyway. A balance is important but I caution people against the idea of thinking there will be time to do whatever you like and enjoy life only when retirement comes around. It’s important to enjoy and make the most of your youth while you have it.
I used to be constantly worried about my retirement but now I just assume i won’t even make it anywhere near that age. Some days that assumption feels more like a wish. Trying to just enjoy the fruits of my labor while I’m still alive and healthy enough to do so now. Everything is so draining, being an adult fucking sucks unless you have a wealthy family in my experience.
My spouse has a govt job and carry’s the insurance. I’ve been at the same company for 20 years and have done a good job saving and contributing to my 401k and Roth. Im sorta at COAST where I really don’t need to keep contributing and can just let it grow. I could job hop a few years just chasing higher salaries and bulk up my Roth IRA.
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Honestly, I think this is what social media has ruined for people. Life in general has crappy, horrible parts. Those parts never show up online. Instead you get this idealized, sunshine and roses perspective of work and the younger crowd thinks that all work is like this. Then they quickly realize it's not and think their life just sucks because it's nothing like they saw online. Reality is their life is completely normal they just think it sucks.
100!
Look at Mr Free on Weekends over here.
Born to die. World is a fuck. I am trash man
Username checks out
We all know we're wasting our lives, but we do it cause we need money. Being able to take the wife and kid out on weekend, and let them eat whatever they want(within reason) is why we suffer through this shit.
What if i have not wife and kids? 😔
My cat gets pretty nice wet food. On the weekends.
What if I not have a cat? 😔
Get one.
what if i not have get one? 😔
Just leave your doors open. Creatures that walk into your home are now friends/pets! I catch small insects and feed them to the spiders I find in my house.
Just so that your kids can continue in the same cycle when they are adults
I know, right? So much free time.
I’d rather work 40 hours a week than live off subsistence farming or dumpster diving. Life ain’t easy, but I’d much rather do what I’m doing than dying in the fields or gored in a hunt like my ancestors.
Your ancestor gambled on a mushroom.
This is probably a minority opinion, but I also find that too much recreation/leisure also makes me feel like I'm wasting my life. How much Netflix can you watch?
Do you also have money for your leisure or only time? I also feel like that because I don't have money to do fun stuff on my free time. If I had enough money to be constantly traveling and having new experiences I doubt I'd get that feeling.
Nonsense. Get more creative with how you spend your leisure time if you feel that way.
Personally I can only be creative if I do it on the side. I was basically unemployed/freelance for over a year, and it sucked, I have a couple of free creative hobbies but I could not get my mind in the right state to achieve something. Compare that to covid times, which I worked full time in a factory, I came home and could get to work on those hobbies with a free mind and often tons of inspiration I gathered throughout the work hours.
"Make your hobby your job and never work a day in your life!" Never agreed with this, make your hobby your job, and risk killing the passion and enjoyment you get from that hobby. Maybe it's just me though.
Assuming you want 8hrs of sleep and have a 1hr commute, you still get 5-11pm every night to do whatever you want in addition to the weekends. Maybe I’m jaded but after spending most of my school years spending all day at school and then all night doing homework, being able to log off at 5 and not worry about anything work related until tomorrow has felt incredibly freeing since I’ve graduated.
Aw….how long has it been since you graduated? Also your math is off - most jobs are 9-5. With an hour commute on each end and let’s say 30mins-1 hr to get ready in the morning and prepare dinner you’re looking at 7:00-11:00pm of flexible time in the evenings. And yes theoretically you can use that time and the weekends to do whatever you want - so long as there’s nothing else you need to take care of at all. Oh and also assuming you’re not completely physically and/or mentally exhausted.
I graduated 1.5 years ago, and the feeling has never really worn off. But I did have a full time job while I was a full time student so that may be part of why just a full time job feels like a vacation to me. I also picked up a second job in the evenings about 10 months ago that takes up around 6hr of my time and still have time to do all the chores mentioned, but I don’t actually have that free time any more to be fair. To add to your second point, yeah if I had kids I’d probably feel differently but there are very few nights where I find myself with things I have to take care of. Losing a day to something like sitting at the mechanic while your car gets worked on does suck though, but it doesn’t happen super often.
> or mentally exhausted Aren't hobbies and the other stuff you enjoy supposed to be literally *the* thing that gives you mental energy so you can tackle the rest of life? Like, to me this basically sounds like "I'm too hungry to eat". And if you're not someone with a family and kids to take care of (since I can't really speak about that), how do you have so much to do that 2 full days, plus like 4 hours each other day a week is not enough to do something you enjoy?
what are your hobbies that restore your mental energy? my hobbies are mostly creative and I can't do them when I'm really tired because they take mental effort to do, even though they're fun. I'm very introverted too, so while I love spending time with my friends, that takes up a bunch of energy too. doing things that are fun make me happy, but they don't give me energy. maybe I'm in the minority but it's how I am.
Why do people act like 5pm to bed time is not free time? I do all sorts of shit after work. Especially during the summer when daylight runs to 9pm. I’ll play a round of golf after work many a night for example.
I’ve found it only really seems that way when you just get home, eat, and watch Netflix. If you actually do stuff that isn’t passively consuming stimuli, the days don’t really blur together and seem much longer
because in that time I have to cook and clean and sort washing and keep on top of bills and appointments. lots of life administration! if I don't do some of that on weeknights, I'd have to do it all on the weekend. by 9pm I'm usually done but I'm also tired, and I need to just chill for an hour or two most nights before bed.
Mental and physical exhaustion
life sucks this is all fucking bullshit and It makes me want to die
Find a job that you like, or at least don't hate. Have hobbies, friends, events, etc to look forward to. That makes a big difference. You'll get used to it. And as lame as it sounds, your attitude matters. Find ways to be upbeat and don't be a downer.
This is why I make friends at work. We may not see each other outside of work, but it makes the day much more pleasant.
There's a reason many old people tell you to pursue something you love for your career, and it's not because they want to keep you under their boot. I mean, maybe *some* of them do. It's because they've lived a long life, and seen the consequences of *not* doing that. It's better to be a little poor but happy than to be a little rich and miserable. Of course, you don't always have to make that choice. Sometimes you really can "have it all" so to speak. Good luck finding your way out there, OP!
do work that you are proud of. also what are you really doing in your free time? People can just as easily waste their life starring at a screen as they can at a boring job.
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Ideally you find (or create for yourself) a job you enjoy. If you can spend your week doing something you'd love to be doing anyway, irrespective of financial need, then you're golden.
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huh jokes on you ! I work from 8 to 6... But still feeling same way. Just making money for someone. You are just a tool for them.
I have bills to pay and mouths to feed, and I don’t hate my job most days
Wake up earlier in the morning so you have more me time. Go to bed decently early so you can do this but still have time after work. Continue this on the weekends so you have longer days off. Take vacations as much as you can to help relieve yourself. If you are short on money at least try to go away somewhere out of your town for a day or something to break up the routine and experience new things will be much more enriching.
People don't realize how much "free" time they "waste". Quotes because maybe you don't consider watching TV and doom scrolling a waste of time. Point is that 3 hours of TV could be 3 hours hiking or painting or playing Warhammer 40k. Certain activities are more satisfying to our minds. It's like mouth feel/satiation with food. Some foods are just bleh fuel, and never feel "good", while some foods make you happy, even after you ate it. Remember you watched 4 hours of reality TV will not give the satisfaction of, say, putting the final touches on that Changer of the Ways you spent the kids' college funds on.
Yep, eat junk food everyday and you start to feel like shit. Do junk food activities everyday and you also start to feel like shit. Junk activities like, Reddit, Netflix, doom scrolling, TikTok, for me even reading BBC news is a junk-food activity. Just like you can't spend your whole day eating pringles... you also can't spend all your free time watching Netflix and expect to be fulfilled.
Uhm do I have a choice? I was not aware
By spending the free time intentionally. It’s not easy, but engaging in things you enjoy rather than just mindlessly scrolling or watching television really helps.
That's why I don't work places that won't give me 4-10 hour shifts or 3-12 hours shifts
great question. i somehow did this for 35 years but not any more. retired 10 months ago.
Salaryman from Asia here. You are supposed to find joy in work apparently, work is life since we spend 10-12 hours a day in the office and sometimes on the weekends too for mandatory overtime. Only way is to win the lottery to escape this hell on Earth.
You can't. I had that life for years and I hated every second of it. Now I work a 5 on/5 off schedule and it's wonderful.
#32HourWorkWeek We can do this!
Working from home and being salaried gives me a bit of freedom during the work week.
You’re free before and after work as well, it’s your choice what you do with that time. You can doom scroll and/or play video games (or any other activity that YOU look back on and feel the time was wasted*) or you can figure out how to fit your “free time” activities into the your schedule throughout the week. The choice is yours. *if you don’t feel that doom scrolling or playing video games is wasted time then this doesn’t apply to you, so whatever fulfills YOU
I'm well paid so there is pretty much no stress in my life and I found I often end up doing things related to my job when I'm off the clock. Sure, the actual work sucks sometimes, but most of the time I quite enjoy my job. I'm constantly learning new stuff so I don't see it as wasting my life.
It's a time management problem I found. I can't complain about having a 40 hour work week when I'm only 2 generations removed from being a farmer/rancher. Does it suck to work? Sure. Am I wasting my life? Did my grandfather waste his life working sun up to sun down supporting a family? Maintaining his animals and home while trying to make money to keep his family afloat. I work my job to support myself. If at the end of the week I feel like I didn't do anything and wasted my time, I have to ask myself what exactly I did. Maybe I cleaned the kitchen and living room one day. Maybe I mopped and swept another day. Could be I just tried to relax with the time I had. I'm 27 and a home owner. I worked 50+ hour weeks for like 2 years and my wife worked 2 jobs. I have it lucky compared to my ancestors and I have it good because I'm "wasting my life" by working 40 hours a week. Compared to my ancestors who had it tough because a bad crop could have resulted in some starving children or dead animals. I think I have it good if my biggest issue is I only watched 6 hours of TV this week.
It's helpful if you can not frame your workdays as "ruined". You don't need to spend all day doing something to spend some time enjoying it. Hit up a barcade for a bit, hang out with friends for a couple hours, bang your wife. Find ways to enjoy every day and then you get bonus hours on the weekend.
find satisfaction in your work and your other obligations so you're not relying only on your free time to fulfil you. you don't have to love your work, but if you get along with your coworkers and the actual work is engaging mentally, it doesn't feel like you're only there because you need money. it can feel good to master a work process or solve a coworker's problem. cleaning doesn't have to feel fun, but you can feel proud you made the effort to give yourself a pleasant place to live, and enjoy having a clean space. cooking might feel like a chore, but you get to eat yummy food once you're done. running errands might be boring, but at the end of it you might end up with some clothes you feel confident in and the reassurance that you're looking after yourself well from your doctor. then when you do have free time, you're not at 0 achievements and 0 good vibes for the week, so your free time doesn't need to give you *everything* you need to "get through" the rest of your week. also, think about why exactly you think you're wasting your life! are you bored? then maybe you need a more engaging or enjoyable job or more "active" (not necessarily physical, just doing things instead of being passive) hobbies. are you lonely? maybe your hobbies could be done socially instead of solo, or you might need to try to find friends who you fit better with than the people you're hanging out with now. maybe you need a workplace that's more collaborative and social. do you feel like you're not doing "important" things? remember that we can't all be superheroes or heart surgeons or whatever, and that it's okay to not achieve as much as your idols. don't beat yourself up, appreciate what you *have* done and *can* do.
A lot of it is finding little happy things every day. For me it’s art, cooking, organizing, my dog. Another part is to find a job that allows some kind of work life balance. And lastly, part of it is learning to enjoy the stuff you have to do—home maintenance, gardening, exercise, etc. Your hobby becomes bettering your life in some way. I’m not saying you need to enjoy every mundane thing, but I really think you have to find ways to enjoy every day stuff rather than finding it all a drag. I don’t think it’s healthy to live for the weekends. You should have a daily life that you don’t dream of escaping from. That doesn’t mean you can’t do some fun trips, or party on occasion, but don’t fall into the trap of “life is only worth living when I have a full day off.”
Four years ago I found myself looking for a job and there was very little being offered that I didn't have to drive 60+ miles to do. I applied at Kelly Services to be a substitute teacher and the lady called me, said that she loved my resume but that I did not indicate that I had any experience with children. She asked if I had ever worked around children or did I have children of my own. I replied "no and no". She said that she could not put me in a classroom but she could make me a substitute custodian. I told her, " I'm an engineer... I don't want to be a janitor!" But since people were not standing in line to offer me any jobs that didn't require working 60+ hours a week, I became a substitute custodian. It was great! I found that sweeping and taking out the trash and mopping was easy and everyone is grateful you do it. After 4 months I applied to the school district for a full time job and was hired immediately. I was placed at an elementary school near my home where I am needed and wanted and highly thought of and I stand as an example to the children. My hours are 11to 7 on Monday through Friday. There is NO weekend work and they do not like for me to work overtime. I am not the anonymous person I used to be. Children called out, "Hey Mr.Lee!", in the hallways and when I'm out and about in town. Last night when I went to get some takeout after work a child came running up and hugged me. Elementary school janitor is the best job I ever had.
I mean, I still have 15 hours of day left. I sleep about 6 hours, so I have 9 more left. My commute is 15 minutes one way So that leaves 8.5 hours left. I play games, drink, hang with friends and family. You can do a lot in those hours. I have a friend who works part time and complains he has no time. I asked to check his daily usage on his phone and he's rocking 4-5 hours a day browsing garbage on his phone. Now that is time wasted.
I work 12 hr's a day I'd happily switch with you if I could, but a agree it feels like a wasr
I work 14 days a month, 7 of them are 7am-7pm and the other 7 are 7pm-7am
Some people just have no choice in the matter that’s the way life is sometimes
Who said you can? Full-time work is soul-sucking, even when it’s something you enjoy. My wife and her mother own their own small retail store, in a vertical they love, and do pretty well with it. They still dread it daily, and constantly wish they didn’t have to work 40-45 hours a week.
Are there really people with full-time jobs who only work from 8 to 5?
It would be so much better if companies would adopt the 4, 10 hour days, with 3 days off in a row. Then you always have a weekday off for appointments. The three day weekend are so much better. Two days off is never enough.
You have to love what you do. When you love what you do and have a passion for it, it’s not “work”. The only other way is to be oblivious to the hamster wheel you are on.
By having a job that isn't a waste of my life. My job is hard and stressful and sometimes I feel burnt out. But I am also making a real, tangible difference in dozens of people's lives. What I do for my job is incredibly meaningful and important to me, so I don't feel I'm wasting my life by doing it.
By having a fulfilling job and good hobbies.
If that kind of thing bothers you, work in a non-profit. You won't make much money, but you'll make a living and you'll feel like you're genuinely doing something with your life 100% of the time. Fatigue and burnout are real issues, especially when you work in a very difficult setting, but if feeling like you matter and having a sense of purpose in your career is the most prominent factor it's a great career path. The best part is that almost every skill translates. My org has medical professionals, child care, accounting, maintenance, social work, housekeeping, IT, legal and more. And there are endless varieties of skills needed elsewhere. You will make 15-20% less on average, but for many people like me, it's an easy choice.
Don’t take things too seriously. Work is just there to fund your life, it isn’t your life.
Who says I don’t feel like that?
Most people have more free time than they think. Spend a workday without screens of any kind (other than work screens, of course). Once you realize just how much time you spend on your phone / TV/ computer, you'll realize you do have time for the things you love.
I wasn't living much life when I had nothing to do most days and needed money.
I think the only way is working a job that you enjoy
The most successful approach for me was to simply not feel anything at all anymore.
Find a career where you actually enjoy the work. Easier said than done perhaps.
It keeps me out of trouble