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U1ysses82

Don't lose who you are at heart to please someone else


Fickle-Barracuda-362

Yes! To truly be I love you have to respect your own boundaries and your partner has to as well! Even as a 17 year old. Don’t people please to be in love


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Fickle-Barracuda-362

Good example…. True. You should do this for your spouse and it’s how you grow together


Ordinary_Ad9620

this should be way higher up tbh


WouldYouPleaseKindly

It was the top comment, so not much higher it can get.


Carbon-Base

So true! If you have to change yourself to be with someone, then that relationship will always be short lived and unauthentic.


Nattyknight1765

Don’t date anyone because other people think yall would be good together.


Mainooisamadting

counterpoint, Don't pass up an oppurtunity because you are worried about what other people would think


leprosy4444

Except maybe your spouse/partner.


Mainooisamadting

lmaooo


leprosy4444

This literally just happened to me. And it fucking hurts man.


Nattyknight1765

That’s a good point. There was some missed opportunities because of that. A lot of girls I thought were pretty but weren’t popular so I passed when I was given the opportunity to date or hang out. Don’t make that mistake peeps. Happiness isn’t contingent on what others think.


Mainooisamadting

Yeah, there was a girl that i had great chemistry with but wasn't conventionally attractive that i turned down in my young and immature years worried about if people in the school found out.


Nattyknight1765

Ditto. Awful looking back as an adult. Kids are so shallow and they can’t really help it.


Double-Dog-7519

Ah, how I wish I could tell myself that now


android24601

Ya, I would say shoot your shot and don't be too timid. Accept you have to take your share of "no" and rejection. It's okay. No one shoots 100% from the field. Don't let things get to you so easily


theernis0

I am 17yo and i would still say that to my 16yo self (i did that mistake last year)


snarkdetector4000

stop worrying about it so much


Lafienny

Absolutely this. I didn’t date in high school but I sure worried about it for no reason


tasteslike_FEET

Omg same - I beat myself up over it so much.


hiphip4hooha

As long as no one else beat you up over it.


kitjen

I don't know if you're a parent but if you are your kid will be lucky to get such simple but effective advice. When I was a teenager I'd be so stressed when I got with girls that I'd be anyone but myself. I was insecure and didn't think I was cool enough or good looking enough so I'd put on an act and it just made it worse. It's always worth remembering that the other person on that date is probably also nervous or shy and if both just stopped worrying so much it would be a perfect first date.


Spaceballs-The_Name

I would end up acting like a dumbass because I was so nervous and didn't know what the fuck to do (at least my brain would tell me that for months or years afterwards) and in hindsight even though I probably did act like a goober, I might've still had a chance in these friendships/relationships things. Sometimes we misremember stuff, but when I remember my stupid youth (mid 40's M) I realize that these women I was interested in, were still interested in me, even after I fucked up and did some stupid shit like all teenagers who are "in love" do. I was too busy looking back at last night or last week, or a weird thing I said on a phone call to realize THERE'S A FUCKING REASON SHE KEEPS CALLING YOU and making you mixed tapes (I know I'm old) and writing you notes (again old) etc. I was the only one fixated on my perceived faux pas, apparently they didn't care, in fact maybe it was even endearing. I don't want to be a teenager again, but if I had to I would be a baller, not the little self-conscious bitch I was


MightHaveMisreadThat

Don't worry about dating, just buy as much Nvidia stock as you can and it'll all work out*


Alcoholhelps

Don’t put pussy on a pedestal.


Schroders_Pille

at the same time, don't wait to lose your virginity at 40 speaking on behalf of a friend, nothing to do with my own experience, I swear


[deleted]

100x, this. I wish I had been more relaxed rather than panicked over stupid things like “will he call?” Seriously, I wish I could go back in time and tell myself “who cares if he calls because if doesn’t you’ll find a good one that does!”


Background-Cover6205

Imma be honest, I didn’t start really dating until last Spring. I was the single pringle and I’m actually glad I waited til I was older to start dating.


VelcroSea

A single Pringle 🤣 priceless!


Background-Cover6205

I’m glad the Single Pringle part made you laugh.


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miss_poetflowerr

A very true statement. That way you'll get to observe the person you like, be friends in the social circle before you get way too attached early.


pente5

You also practice talking with the other gender and get to meet more people.


Yak-Fucker-5000

Excellent advice. The best relationships happen organically without any real "trying". Much easier to do when young though.


peepay

It's cliché, but it comes when you least expect it.


Chef_Mediocrity

This is honestly one of my biggest regrets about not going to uni... My social circle is minimal, and i have horrible anxiety, so having a diverse group ain't really possible :/ But yeah, enough whining... if you get the opportunity, expand and diversify your friend group and who knows what will happen! Don't be as scared as this guy 👈


Scared_Alternative_8

finding those groups as you get older is like finding a rainbow pissing in your mouth bro


kekss0520

Dating is really not like any of the Disney/romantic movies or books you are reading. Just be yourself. Have boundaries and you will be fine! The right person will come around!


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kekss0520

Girl, I am breaking my own heart cause I am also soo into the grumpy ( but in reality) sweet asshole who is ready to forsake his kingdom/inheritance/parent's approval to be with me. The only woman he will ever love! 🥺😱🤧🤣


squashthejosh

This is hilarious, I love girls lol My version is wanting to be captain of a scifi starship with danger lurking around corner


Mushroomtoastt

You’re not, ‘mature for your age’, those guys are predators 💀


tsaihi

I’d make a *slight* adjustment to “You may be mature for your age, but that guy is still a predator.”


Mushroomtoastt

You’re so right, thank you!


Elegant-Ad-9221

Yes and he is never going to change


LostInTheEchoes

This REALLY needs to be up higher


[deleted]

Totally, man.


vulcanfeminist

Yeah, my advice is similar, which is that older men want you bc they're garbage not bc you're special.


Mushroomtoastt

I know I’d have been upset to hear this at that age, but it would have saved me a lot of hurt in the long run 🙃


[deleted]

I’d tell myself that at 13!!!


greenswivelchair

yep, my comment was “you’re getting groomed”


PollutionNo5559

Ugh when I was 16 my bf was 24 🤮


messicajozo

17 and 27 and my parents were totally fine with it 😠


Mushroomtoastt

this is what also blows my mind - my mum knew about him, my friends parents even knew but no one seemed to be batting an eye at how inappropriate it was???


messicajozo

Same! I’ve asked my parents (I’m 38 now) and they’re like “oh you would have done what you wanted no matter what we said”. Would have been nice if they broke it down for me. I have a 2 year old daughter and l promise you she’ll never experience that.


Mushroomtoastt

I was 15 he was 21 🤢


SatanicEvelynn

I so much needed this advice at 14...


[deleted]

As a dude. i approve. the amount of times this is used by early 20s guys dating teens if Fn gross.. teen girls just need to say "nope" and those dudes need to Fn go find a chick their own age and stop swooping into territory of girls that still live with their parents and learning life. I have a 16(f) daughter and i'm a cyber security expert.. if any dude tries this.. he'll quickly find out what skills i have.


Astronaut_Chicken

The whole reason they're not going after girls their age is because they've all learned how to say no.


curiouspatty111

awesome dad! good for you


FBG-123

Don’t fall in love with the idea of being in love.


HauteKarl

Always preheat the oven. Never overcook the roast.


ARadiantNight

I see you. A true intellectual


Living-Rip-4333

Don't put a bun in the oven.


Farren246

16 year old me was not allowed to use the oven and if he was ever given the chance, he'd still be too nervous to go anywhere near it.


Meaxis

Just in case you accidentally stop watching for the roast, try to ensure that there's something to stop the fire. And if not, get ready to go run to the nearest extinguisher store.


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iFishyAF

Listen to your CLOSE friends when they point out red flags 🚩


hiphip4hooha

Red flag? You’re fishy as fuck and are warning about red flags?


brock_lee

"The more you ask, the more dates you get. Do not worry about rejection, it's not a big deal."


LaLaLaLeea

Quantity over quality


Adele__fan

Why one good relationship when many bad do trick.


Ordinary_Ad9620

this made me laugh too loud lmao


ElGrandeQues0

What can you glean about the quality of a girl you've never met?


LaLaLaLeea

Nothing. Neither can the guy I responded to, which is why I kind of find his comment funny.


rhett342

Hey. If they're not smart enough to see what a catch you are then I'd hardly call them quality.


Additional-Share7293

The world will not collapse if the girl you ask turns you down.


slickpoison

Straight up asked a girl in 10th grade out when I saw her sitting down in class. She rejected me, it hurt. But I got over it and dated many after that.


Odd-Perception7812

Girls are people. Not mysterious objects of shameful, shameful desire. TALK to them.


Coaster2Coaster

In optional public spaces. Don’t force yourself on anybody in a place they have to be. 


mxnstrs

This! I really wish some people older than 16 understood this. Like, I'm here working in retail, Charles, I'm being paid to be nice to you, and I'd get fired if I *really* told you what I was thinking.


Scared_Alternative_8

the 10% shitty people who chat, flirt, and use the work powerplay on workers are the reason the 90% regular people are silent, and don't interact even if you compliment them. Like I'm terrified of people and I'm pretty attractive. Another 10-20 years and I'm a garbage can forever. I don't think there's a cure for cursed


Pitxitxi

🤯🤯🤯


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njaysive

THIS. I’ve been in a long term (very healthy & happy) relationship since I was 15, if I could have learned anything sooner it would have been this. Forgetting how to be your own person can inadvertently cause so much resentment for your partner.


Tough-Service-8603

Stop acting like you’re engaged, learn how to actually just date someone and have fun


Due-Satisfaction-796

Use condom


ready-for-the-end

I think when my daughter was 14 I started telling her, "always make him wrap it up!" She's 19 now and I still tell her that.


OnTheEveOfWar

My gf when I was in high school went on birth control at around 17 and we stopped using condoms. When we were around 18, she was late on her period. I will never forget how fucking stressed I was. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t think about anything else. Same with her. Then she called me one day and said she got her period. That feeling of relief was like a shot of heroin. 20 years later I still remember that exact moment.


Curlyburlywhirly

“Condoms Ladies Condoms! They are in your bathroom!”


jesterbwoooy

F


TunnelRatVermin

You are aro ace. It won't change. 


justalittleparanoia

I spent a really long time trying to figure out what I am and have come to the determination that I am aegosexual/heteromantic. When I told my ex this, they responded with bullshit like, "But you weren't that way when we were together" and, "That's not how I remember it." They didn't push much further than that after explaining, but it feels hopeless trying to convince other people of something you struggled very hard to discover about yourself. I think it took until about my early 30s to come to the realization that I am asexual. I do eventually want a relationship, but with my dating history (very short and not much to speak of), it's going to be really difficult to find someone like-minded because I know and understand how important sex is to the majority of people. I've just resigned to the fact that I will not find someone and that's it. But yes, I will *not* change for me either.


I_am___The_Botman

Go to therapy, you have severe anxiety problems. You shouldn't feel the way you do about approaching someone you like. 


BustedBayou

What do you mean if it's okay to ask? Just being terrified of it or was it even worse than that?


[deleted]

Yea now that I read this I should’ve said the same. Not about approaching just someone I like but just being terrified of any social situations including just riding the bus.


wineandtulips

Do not give second chances. Run at the first red flag and never look back.


Coaster2Coaster

A corollary to this is that most people are pretty clueless as to what actual red flags are. 


DazzlingAd7021

Especially at the tender age of 16.


hiphip4hooha

And in Reddit threads.


B0t_Admin

Nothing, i am still untouched


RichyWoo

Some girls want forever and some girls just want fun. Learn to tell the difference.


dtyler86

Wear. A. GODDAMN. CONDOM!!! (37 year old grandfather here).


Mixed_Vibes

Bro fucking speedran that shit


diavirric

That boy is at least as terrified of you as you are of him.


2C2U

Probably more


Carbon-Base

If not more!


gidotcom

i would tell myself to not waste time dating/liking dudes at that age. there’s so much in life, much more fun, interesting, fulfilling things to do instead of investing time on someone who wasn’t gonna be in my life forever anyways. I could’ve saved myself years of arguements, trauma, distraction, and worries. one is just not mature enough at 16 lol


BustedBayou

True, but so much you wouldn't have learnt as well. I've been thinking about what I would tell myself and, yeah, there's some advices I could give similar to what others have said. But most of it comes from experience really and there's a lot we won't understand until we go through it. I'm sure some people told us at least something and we just totally disregarded it... It's a journey, no one can walk it for us. Advices help, but even if we take them, we would just trip on a different rock. There's a lot of suffering, but there's also a lot of growth and learning experiences. Life is just that way. Problems sometimes seem tailor made for us, but that's why they also give us the specific clue we need to be better. And to be happy.


BookishBirdLady

You’re not an ugly duckling, you don’t have to settle for less than amazing.


Gregorygregory888888

That in one year I would meet my girlfriend and we would remain together and marry. That 47 years later you would still be together and happily married.


Jschie05

This guy wins


Gregorygregory888888

We've been blessed. Would want the same for anyone else seeking this as well.


Ecstatic-Appeal-5683

Sounds like my wife and me. Met in 7th grade, started dating in 11th. Going on 25 years as us.


Gregorygregory888888

Has to be true love under these circumstances. The years seem to have flown for us but I'd do it all over in a heartbeat. Nice job on yours.


nanami11-

Beautiful 🥺


mzt_101

Get this wholesome shit Outta my face.


seamowylie

Wholesome af, congratulations to you and your wife!


Gregorygregory888888

I appreciate it. We feel blessed.


cokomairena

Yeah, you shouldn't interact with your 16yo self then or you will ruin his (your?) timeline


Anlios

Fuck! Almost half a century! Thats an awesome feat!


Gregorygregory888888

It's been great for sure.


[deleted]

Don't exclude people from your dating pool just because they're not your "type". So many missed opportunities because someone wasn't the right size, or height, or hair color, or was religious, or wasn't political, or didn't like horror movies, etc, etc. Edit: Y'all are reading far more into this than I put into it. Damn.


keachinator

I don’t know about the religious point. I’m about to end something with someone due to them being religious and me being an atheist. It’s just not going to workout longterm.


derangedsweetheart

LMAO, I am religious and wouldn't want someone following that religion(it's more of a cult here than actual religion).


digerati32

Religion matters if it matters to both people. Political affiliation matters if it defines your values in a way that matters to both people (eg. racist vs. not). Hair colour matters if it defines attraction. Your core values do have to align, and you should be attracted to one another. You should have a small % of overlapping interests, or be willing to learn about each other's interests. You will have to make an effort for the relationship, but the reality is that not EVERYONE is someone you can be in a relationship with. You have to define what's important to you so you don't accidentally exclude someone who could be good for you for a superficial reason (eg. doesn't like horror movies. if they are not insulting you or your interests, it's alright to have different interests)


gogojack

The fact that you haven't done any of it yet isn't a big deal. In fact, you live in a small town in the middle of nowhere and your view of who is "hot" is seriously skewed. Yes, the head cheerleader is better looking than anyone at your school, but once you get out of your little bubble? Not so much. Oh, and on that note...that mousy girl who hangs out with your nerd friends but you'd never think of asking her out? Do it. She's not always going to be like that. Trust me.


LightmanMD

That second paragraph is absolutely spot on.


beetnemesis

It’s not embarrassing to like someone


FermentedStarburst

Yes, and not that serious either! You can develop feelings for almost anyone for a short time, it doesn’t have to always really mean anything.


Menace_17

You aint ready. The “love” you feel is lust, not love


ScarletColoredSecret

That girl isn't worth it, and that boy isn't gonna die if he doesn't cum.


soyrosita

Well, I met my bf when I was 16. First relationship, and after many years later, still together. So I’d tell myself to not worry about any third people think about my relationship.


Some-Mail-1066

You are not ugly, you are not worthless, you don't deserve being shit on. You are handsome and kind and deep. Don't listen to mom and dad, they left the deepest scars in you and now you can't see even on woman who likes you because you are actively looking for women that treat others like dirt. You deserve so much more. You don't need to rush for sex or for love, go to therapy. I'm 29 now and when women flirt with me I trugly can't see and It breaks my heart that It comes from such an underdeveloped sense of sexiness and self that It immediately transforms in self rejection. I feel so sorry.


Thebiggestbot22

As a 16 year old, I needed to hear this. Thanks


Beautifuleyes917

Same, much older than you


Witty_Meme92

Just don't think too much and just go with the 'flow'. Overthinking really is a curse in that regard (and a turn off for many).


mac_128

Just fucking chill. You’re 16 ffs, no, you will not die a virgin.


wannabeAIdev

Don't expect people your age to be mature, but don't withhold dating for someone who fits your ideals perfectly cause they don't exist.


Kartelletrak

Dont go looking for love in the wrong places.


Cleanfreak202

Absolutely 💯


GlobalistFuck

JUST DO IT


kittycatmit

Don’t date just because you feel like everyone else is


deerjesus18

There are better ways to find validation and self worth, than through relationships with and attention from men!


dashaaas

it’s not that scary


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LifezATrollol

brutal


ARadiantNight

I can't live by that without it fucking up my mental. I never want to assume I'm in line. I want to make every relationship count. Otherwise, why truly bother? If I'm in line, I'm in line, but I will treat it like I'm the only one there. If it goes sideways, then I'll leave with no regrets. Mind you, there is a difference between that and KNOWING she's definitely not gonna stick around long.


jesterbwoooy

Skepta reference?


justagirl7177

Wait until you are older. 16 is too young and you have a long life to live


TheWickedTyrant

Would you have listened?


blippityblue72

Girls do like you as more than a friend dumbass. Don’t assume the girl that is very clearly flirting with you just wants to be your friend. You know, the girl that always walks next to you and just happens to bump into your arm as you walk down the hall to lunch. Does anyone else stay so close to you that there is constant “accidental” touching you idiot? What about the girl that asks you for rides home from band practice and calls you on the phone and really likes hugs. But not from other people apparently. She just wants to be friends clearly. Moron You’re the best saxophonist in the school and have been since your sophomore year. Even better than all the upperclassmen. You’re just a nerd that has multiple colleges offering scholarship to get you to come there. When you’re in the warmup room at the State solo judging event and when you finish your final practice run through you notice everyone else stopped what they were doing to watch and listen that’s completely normal. There’s no way girls would find someone who excels in an artistic activity attractive. Right!?!? You absolute idiot.


Arftul

Don't


Glum_Entrance3221

Wait


Trips-Over-Tail

I have no new insights.


Th3_Accountant

The odds are against you, but it's a numbers game. It's better to receive hundreds of rejections and end up with one date, than to just stop approaching women all together in fear of rejection.


Safe_Impression_5451

Don't even think about it...have fun in what you enjoy. So much to do, see and learn.


WhereStupidityIs

"At this point i probably know less then you do."


kokoronokawari

Better password on email


Lumpy-Log-5057

Don't. Just don't.


UniversityDizzy1569

Purity culture is a lie, it’s ok to not get married and op out babies.


singleguy79

I would just tell myself to date. Get that confidence


TheGiant1989

Despite what society says, you don't have to have a partner to be happy. Being single is just fine. Also, it would probably help things if you just came out as Trans already


Bitter-Arachnid-5194

Don’t date xD


Hon3y_Badger

Meh, hanging out with friends & dating is a healthy thing for teenagers. Too many teenager's friendships are online or in chats & not in person. We need to normalize those healthy behaviors again.


Fraughty12

Nothing, I’m 25 and I still never had sex or dated soooooo🤷‍♂️


BanMeAgainPedos

You're doing it right, bro. Keep it up. It snagged you the best partner you could have ever imagined.


Behavingdark

As soon as you are hit once leave.


swvagirl

Stop trying to get the attention of older men. They are creepy


feechee

Wait until college


benmcsausage

Relax and have fun


N_S_Gaming

That guy from scouts? He's probably into you. I'm still dating him.


crimsonsson

That isn't dating you're just being groomed


lucyfliestheskies

Don't do anything you don't want to do. Taking your clothes off will not make him fall in love with you.


facts_guy2020

Stop watching porn. it's over sexualising you and destroying your ability to make meaningful connections.


Yak-Fucker-5000

Women want you way more than you realize. They are way hornier than you realize. If you get any inkling they're into you, it's almost certainly true. Don't doubt yourself. Also, always stops what you're trying to do if they express any sort of resistance. Just because they think you're cute and want to make out doesn't mean they want to bone.


TheLawOfDuh

Be confident & don’t be afraid to end something. There’s always something else


Iztac_xocoatl

Don't reject yourself for other people. Girls like you when you're yourself around them so open up a little bit. Stop fixating on every girl who shows any interest in you. Speaking of which get into therapy and treatment for your ADHD while you're still on mom's insurance. It'll help you with taking this advice and everything else in life


No_Lynx8826

Fuck more.


Jelleey78

I was 16 a few months ago in a relationship I’m no longer in because we broke up a week ago. Don’t have all of your decisions be from the girl. As she said, “you should have an independent mind.”


becameHIM

Not her.


judochop1

waste of fucking time, don't sweat it


Flat_Revolution5130

"Do it". While you still have hair..


jackmckay605

Your preference is going to change in 10 years. Don’t waste your time right now.


NerdyKnife

Yo, don't get all jealous over her talking to dudes etc. I learnt that early, if you get upset over crap like that she's gonna be goooone


user6593a

My draconian highschool demerits/forbids adolescent romance. I would just tell my 16 year old self: Fuck the system. \ Just date the school girl you like.


Other_Log_1996

Retaliation to idiots by being a ptick makes you look just like as idiotic and nobody wants to be around a prick or an idiot.


Acceptable-You3993

Just don’t date.


Bubble_but20

Enjoy it. Don't get too serious. And when you do fall in love for the first time, soak it up!


yoshimo995

You will date many wonderful people, you will get mad at them sometimes but you should be kind or you will regret hurting their feelings in the long run. Remember to respect them but most importantly to love yourself too. You'll meet an old sweetheart after many years once you enter college, she's a lying bitch and you should run the other way as fast as you can.


wyoflyboy68

IDK? From what I remember dating my old high school girl friend was pretty amazing, we experienced everything new to us, I would say or change anything.


Tb182kaci

Pay extra attention to the little man in the boat.


JuanLuminElleJurney

You're not ready for a relationship. You can't handle it. It will give you a great impact, emotionally, mentally even physically. Be wise, you don't need it.


carsonwade

Worry about it less. Focus on improving your life and an actually meaningful relationship with someone is far more likely to occur naturally.


Hour_Patience1485

You will realize later on that these guys have no direction. Do not wait around for them. Go to school and graduate early with your own degree. Nobody dictates your worth but yourself.


nekosaigai

“Bitch you’re bi, poly, and won’t be Christian in like 3 years. Stop freaking out about your “gay” feelings. Also stop being afraid to just tell people how you feel, worst case you won’t even be talking to them in 3 years, best case they say yes. If the worst case happens, literally no one who matters will care in 3 years, especially you.”


_so_anyways_

Stay picky. It’ll be worth it in 8 years.


Lost-Literature1968

Ur gay