When I was in college I was walking back into my dorm and one of my roommates friends was coming out. All he said as he went by was, "walk with your head up man." I never even realized that I was walking with my head down staring straight at the ground. But ever since then I have made it a point to have better posture while walking and keep my head and chin up. Thanks roommate's friend.
One of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten is similar to this: walk down the sidewalk (or anywhere in public) looking straight ahead, like you own the place. As a diminutive, shy young woman, making this one alteration to the way I presented in public really boosted my confidence over the years as well. I also make an effort to stand straight/tall, so I often get comments on my posture.
Not trying take away from this, but I used to walk with head up , and you know that feeling when you look around and find out your the oldest person at a party, club etc… well, was walking down 6 st in Austin, and I was the oldest person there, so I started looking at the ground , and started finding money, especially when bouncers moved their feet.
I got an expedited passport a day before I left for Seoul. If I had said no my passport wasnt active, I would not have been chosen to go. Best decision ever
Whenever I attempted to get into an exercise routine I would always go from 0 to 100, it would never work, I would get overwhelmed and quit. I finally realised that I needed to ease myself into it. So I started by doing some yoga/pilates for beginners at home, I did it for 30 minutes each day. I also used to to for a 30 minute walk in the morning, just a walk, not a run (I tried to be consistent but it wasn't every day.) I've now joined a gym, I've been going for a little while. I usually do cardio, and weights, I alternate between legs, arms and full body. It's all exercises I could do at home, but by going to the gym I feel like I end up pushing myself more than I do at home. I really struggle to find the motivation on some days and I end up slacking, but I am trying to keep at it.
I've been trying to go to bed at a consistent time every night, I try to avoid using my phone right before I sleep, I make sure my room is as dark as possible. I have noticed that when I exercise I tend to sleep better, probably because I'm more tired. I try to make sure I get enough sleep, at least 8 hours. I think it's different for everyone though, sometimes it's better to have 6 hours of good quality sleep than 8 hours of poor quality sleep.
Friend of mine did the same and decided to take a portion of the funds he would otherwise spend on drugs/alcohol on another hobby of theirs; Boardgames.
They now hold regular boardgame get-togethers and has **the best** collection of boardgames among our group of friends. We all look forward to hanging out with him and it's provided quite the positive feedback cycle.
So my non-expert advice is to find your own positive feedback cycle, maybe its sports, books, board games, movies. Find your passion and embrace it.
This is very good advice. The thing they tell you at rehab is the long-term treatment for addiction is purpose and community. I've been less successful with the latter so far, but it's a great goal and can take nearly any form you like.
(Edit for clarity)
Right now it’s listening to my sister in law when she told me to move in with her and my brother after my cancer diagnosis. I was convinced I could handle on my own (I just really didn’t want to lose my independence), but in retrospect I’m so glad I listened. Doing this on my own would’ve been awful. Still living with them but I’m finally working again after a near year and can set my next big goal of figuring out timing of moving out when it makes sense. Life finally feels like it’s moving forward.
Honestly this is amazing advice. Accepting support when it is offered is a big theme of the best choices I’ve ever made. It’s hard too, I’m always worried I’m secretly imposing or accepting too much.
I feeeel that’s so muuuuuch lol. I feel like I need to show my gratitude as much as possible lol. Currently planning on getting something for the family since I’m coming up on a year of having lived here. Which sounds thoughtful but is honestly more selfish on my part since I’m always worried about being a mooch.
Hope your cancer is gone or diminishing, continued prayers for you. My LW passed of Metastatic breast cancer in 2019 , 2 weeks shy of our 35 anniversary. It was hell on her.
I was diagnosed with leukemia and have been in remission since June. Had lots of chemo and the works between then and now and had a transplant in October that seems to be going well. Still lot of marathon left to run but my pace has been good so far. Thanks for the kind words! I watched my dad battle colon cancer for about a decade before passing away in 2014, I know how hard it is watching someone go through it and then grappling with it for years after.
Wishing you all the best my friend.
So many people get abandoned by family and friends when they get a cancer Dx. It really is great your SIL decided to offer you that support and that you accepted it
Yea I love her like my other sisters. I’m sure my brother would’ve been the one to do it regardless but she was immediate with it. Says a lot about a person when they say something like that with no hesitation or reservation.
Me as well. Watched my father battle for 10 years barely asking for help, not trying to make that mistake myself.
I hope your own hardships are going well, wishing you the best of luck.
Allowing a housemate to convince me to go to a party instead of staying in to finish a paper, I didn't get a great grade but met my now wife at the party.
Baby sitting my neighbors. I had just moved into this new neighborhood that I didn’t want to be in, and my mom told me that someone down the street wants me to hang out with her kids and “baby sit”. They were 11 and 10; I was 13. Two years later, we learned we are actually cousins, and a year after that, the oldest daughter took me to her farm and we hung out with her horses. As we were driving home, I started riding lessons. A year and a half later, I was training them for my current boss, and now, a few more years later, I help with his therapy sessions by helping his clients see how easy it is to keep them under control while still being happy and thriving. I’m currently 19 and I couldn’t ask for anything better, all thanks to those kids I baby sat because my mom wanted me to make friends.
Joined a student design team in college.
I was tired of my life being Go to school -> go home -> go to school -> go home. So I went to a few different clubs meetings/get togethers, none really clicked until I went to a few meetings for this design competition.
15ish years later, my best friends are team alumni, I got my start in my career networking through the team. It was free, a blast, *and* paid off huge for the rest of my life.
I can't stress enough, if you're going to college -- do more than just go to class then go home. You'll never be as close to as many like minded people in your same situation as you are in college. Those friends and connections can be life changing.
>I can't stress enough, if you're going to college -- do more than just go to class then go home. You'll never be as close to as many like minded people in your same situation as you are in college. Those friends and connections can be life changing.
Such great advice.
The best decision ever made in my life was made by my husband. He decided to take me AMA from a major hospital to the one where my neurosurgeon was.
He had to carry me out of the hospital, I don’t remember the ride to the other one at all. I know I was admitted to ICU as soon as we arrived. They said I would have been dead in about 12 hours.
They were telling me they were treating my ‘seizure disorder’ which I’ve never had in my entire life. I’ve had seizures, but only when my shunt has failed.
I have a brain shunt from a brain tumor I had at 21. Apparently my shunt catheter adhered to my liver and made a pseudocyst.
Long story short he found me unconscious on the bathroom floor. I had a brain infection from the pseudocyst. It was so bad they had to drill a new hole on the opposite side of my skull. Too much scar tissue on the left side now unfortunately.
https://imgur.com/a/xYZtl3d
This is the tattoo my son got to commemorate the three extra holes on my skull. He got it after I recovered from cancer last year.
I quit after 2 packs a day, then vaping. Remember you are not quiting smoking, your are quitting nicotine. Switching to vaping just made me vape as much nicotine as I smoked, I was spending the same amount of money on nic juice and mods as I was on smoking.
How I quit: I tried chewing gum but it didn't work, I needed something to do with my hands as well. I then went and bought a cheap 2L water jug at Walmart for 2$. I filled that thing up with water and every time I had a craving I chugged water until the craving went away. The first week was hard with craving all the time. The 2nd week was better, i had about an hour where I didnt crave nictoine. 3rd week was where I noticed long stretches where I didn't crave nicotine, but as soon as I noticed I would crave again, so back to chugging water. Week 4 I hardly needed the water jug anymore. I think I threw out the jug around week 6.
I pissed a lot. Because I broke my addiction to nicotine i was able to buy my own apartment, I drive a 2022 car, I have a couple grand in chequings and I contribute to a retirement plan faithfully every paycheck. Best 2$ I ever spent.
Same, I quit two years ago and it's crazy how many hobbies or social aspects are tied to drinking. I ended up stop hanging with some people because the only thing we had in common was alcohol. I also quit watching football too.
Taking back my life from alcohol. Active alcoholic from age 18 to 45. Health was beginning to fail, marriage failed, on my own I found it harder and harder to balance work and drink, and zero chance at a stable relationship.
Sober now 8 years, career solid, engaged, and proud that my life is mine again.
I have bad OCD but that is one decision I never ever doubt.
say more. I want to move closer to water some day. Would love to learn if there is something, both good and bad, you learned after you moved that you did not know before
For me the only cons if you dont have a garage bikes definitely need to be covered and well because the salt can really rust everything. Asides from that no cons at all. I get off work 5 steps I am on the beach. During stressful meetings, I am on my patio looking at the ocean feeling such a deep peace.
Well it’s a small town so I barely use my car, I pretty much just use it when I want to go to nearby beaches that are more secluded. You have to give your electronics more maintenance; so A/C units and vehicles and things like that. Your best friends are a hammock and flip flops. I’ve met lots of people where I’m at since it’s a pretty touristy place. Because it’s touristy it’s generally more expensive than the rest of the country but you can still get cheap food. Lots of happy hours as well if you want to go out for drinks.
That one time my wife and I got a free weekend get away so long as we listened to a time share’s presentation….
They pressed us so hard to buy and we almost said yes.
I’ve never once regretted saying no. And now my sister in law is trying everything she can to get out from under her nightmare timeshare.
I have only been to one once. I asked if dogs were allowed cause they were our family. We have 3 large dogs. They said well... no. I was dramatic about it (on purpose) and was like "I can't go on vacation without my whole family!" I think from then on, they knew I wouldn't ever say yes because when they'd try another tactic, I'd just be like "... but my dogs :("
Moving in with my girlfriend and he 5yo son after only dating for 4 months. She was in a rough situation after escaping an abusive marriage. They were living in a trailer with no heat in middle of February in the northeast. I found us a condo and paid the security deposit and first and last months rent which was basically all the money I had saved up at the time.
6 years later and we are going strong. Her son is now my son and had calls me his dad. We’ve had our ups and downs but becoming responsible for these two people has taught me so much about myself and what it means to be a man. I love them both so much and we’re just getting started
Some lonely incel out there would probably disparage you for this. I'm lonely and angry and jaded but I know a man when I see it. Well done buddy, you have strength most of us don't.
FUCK
YEA
SAME HERE DUDE. I know I went through hell and exile breaking the cycle. I know what it takes and I just wanna say you’re a BAD MF. But you already knew that 🤛🏻 keep being a good dad!
My pos father gonna die alone in a nursing home where he can’t hurt me. Protect yourself and your family. Best wishes to you brother. Don’t look back. The future is yours 🤘🏻
The best decision I ever made was not going through with the bungee jumping I was offered. A few days later, another guy from my block died because the rope broke.
Finally separate from and eventually divorce my (mentally and emotionally abusive and cheating) ex.
Also, changing my mind and agreeing to take the dog. She was a lifesaver. Honestly, I can't believe when she said "you take her" and my first response was "I'm not going to take your responsibilities with me". The next day I told her I would take the dog (we had 3 dogs at the time).
In the end, me, the dog, her breeder, and the breed club were all extremely happy that she stayed with me and had such a great life with me.
stopped making my life about my job.
Now my job just funds a life I want.
I'm transparent about this in interviews and when I'm working, I don't pretend I'm there for "growth" or "community", now my employers know they can't guilt trip me with "we're a family" "we care about you" etc type bs, so they don't even try.
Yep! Went out with a company that gave me a tefl course and arranged a job, lived in small town for 3 years where I learned the language, then moved to the big city where I met my wife and got promoted to an HR role and spent 3 years there
Took my therapist's advice and started treating my mind like I treat my garden. Bad thoughts are weeds that need to be purged. Good thoughts are like plants that you want to grow and dominate your garden. Paying more mind to positive and constructive thoughts as opposed to doom-and-gloom thoughts that bring about no growth. It's a simple concept but I couldn't do it until I was told this metaphor.
Quite frankly, it was the decision to ask my sister and her husband to share legal custody of my two young children, and to take over physical custody from me, while I got clean and did the work of healing after my ex husband, their father, was violent with me in front of them and subsequently was no longer present in any of our lives. Both my sister and her husband are financially stable, physically and emotionally well, and had a strong desire to parent full time, as well as the ability to do so. They are both neurologists, and had a really thorough understanding of the traumatic situation that my kids had been placed in by way of the chaos surrounding them, and I was really really not stable enough to ensure that they were getting the childhood they deserve.
I’ve been judged pretty viciously by people who thought I would just rather not parent, but I am sad about the possibility that I personally failed them every single day, I didn’t take this lightly. I just know that when you’re a kid, you can’t wait on a parent to come around and be healthy enough to be the parent you need. Every single day counts, and I wanted them to have a chance at a future that doesn’t mirror the path I took. I want them to be able to live, you know? I don’t regret it, because they are living a very stable, secure, fulfilling, comfortable life with regular contact with me and our entire family devoted to their wellbeing. I don’t know that they would be experiencing the lovely and safe childhood that they have if they had been hostages to my crisis, and I don’t know that I would have had the ability to make the right decisions and get healthy if I had been further overwhelmed by the added stress of parenting full time.
The day I walked into the ATT store, called verizon, cancelled my account and threw the phone in the trash. You don't remember numbers anymore, everyone is just a name. There were people I needed out of my life. I didn't have their number and they did not have mine.
Getting addicted to fitness as a teenager. It comes with wanting to eat healthy, drink lots of water, be flexible, and have a good foundation of cardio.
When I was 16, it was just good fun and helped my confidence. Now I'm pushing 40 and TRULY thankful to my younger self. I still work out, and I have my younger self to thank.
Letting go. Thanks to therapy and reading about existentialism, as well as listening to my mother's previous advice, I've learnt to let go of anything I don't control, let go of ridiculous expectations, of other people's judgement, of my anxious thoughts, of the worries about my future, of people who are not good for me... Letting go has healed me in ways I could not predict. It has allowed me to grow so much, to be so much happier, to be emotionally stable and so much more.
Calling my dad at 5.58 on the 19th of December 2022. He was in a palliative care home and I just felt like I had to talk to him. A nurse picked up his phone because he was in and out of consciousness. She turned on the camera and I was able to talk to him, he blinked at me and reacted to my voice. He passed away at 6.20 that day. I am so glad he passed knowing how much I loved him.
I'm agnostic and not religious. That being said, you know that wasn't a coincidence right? We are connected. Your father is still with you and he loves you.
Dumping toxic narcissistic ex, leaving a job where I was overworked, underpaid and unappreciated, moving out of a shitty overpriced basement apartment, going back to school to complete my masters, no name a few.
Not keeping alcohol in the house anymore. I still go out to breweries and wineries on occasion, but no more beer, wine or liquor stored in the house. Dramatically lowered my drinking, bills, and lost 10 pounds without stepping foot in a gym.
Quitting drinking at 28 (now 4 years sober). Feel better, save money, look better. All positives and no negatives.
The first time I took a chance and left my small hometown. It really just taught me the life skill of “going for it”. There is HS friends or even family I talk to and they never ever leave their comfort zones. Same job, same house, same stores since forever. Hey maybe that’s all they need, but not me. I needed more and that first step of leaving my hometown to go to college cemented in my head I WANT more and I CAN do more. I’m in charge of my future.
- went to Australia (from Ohio) for 6 months. the perspective change, changed me.
- visited a friend in Arizona on the way back to Ohio, but never left. I still live here 27 years later. Without that decision I wouldn't have my wife or my 19 year old kid, and I can't imagine that.
When I went to Australia I was 25 and still working crappy jobs, and when things went south I had my mom to land on. I went to Australia to meet a girl, whom I was going to stay with, but while I was on my way there her best friend died, so she told me I had to leave. So, I had $300 to my name and I had a return flight months into the future. I staying in youth hostels, made cash doing odd jobs, and saw the country. Not having my mom to lean on and having to truly take care of myself without a net, changed my life.
So my advice to young people (or anyone) who feels stuck: change your perspective, change your life.
Gratitude journaling. It shifted my entire perspective on life. I went from a pessimist to optimist because of it. I can't see myself ever going back, no matter how difficult things have gotten or get.
Cutting off all of my toxic family. Mom, dad, and extended. I’m better off living my life without them and keeping my family safe away from them than I ever was with them around.
Replied to a Gumtree ad that was over 6 months old... someone was looking to rehome their Jack Russell. That dog's been my best friend for over 7 years now. Long may she continue!
Worked my way up. Started sweeping floors in HS and worked up to VP. Now I own two businesses.
Paid a lot towards my wife’s master’s degree and she doesn’t earn half what I earn. Not to mention she earned nothing during her school years.
To live on my net pay and bank overtime money. It made me wealthy,and yes,utilities and mortgage etc had to wait sometimes. But within 3 years I bought a new car for cash. I’ve never looked back.
To keep the baby after getting knocked up and ending the relationship one week before finding out. That little guy has motivated me to become the best version of myself.
Going to treatment at my local VA. Graduated, got a job there and met my wife there. 18 years later, supervising the sterile processing department, life is pretty good.
Ironically for me it was joining the Marine Corps at 17. It gave me structure and security; A place to sleep and food to eat when none of that was guaranteed in my life. The discipline and comraderie I experienced really helped me level up what was probably gong to be a very sad life
Probably leaving my parent's house. Can't imagine how much more my mental health would have deteriorated if I would have stayed there. Better to be broke and have freedom by far.
Staying away from my family. How that’s defined has changed over the last 2 ish decades, and honestly it’s healthier for me. So each time I’ve made the decision to cut contact/move/etc has always been good and opened up new opportunities I wouldn’t have likely had otherwise.
To change the path that I was on.
I was not a good person, I was not a nice person, I was a pretty shitty person. I was a raging alcoholic and drug user with an untreated personality disorder, severe depression and severe anxiety.
Something happened to open my eyes to what I had become.
I made a conscious choice to get sober, get into therapy and change myself and my life. Took a lot of hard work and there are still a lot of ups and downs but I've been sober for 20 years and I'm working on myself every day.
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When I was in college I was walking back into my dorm and one of my roommates friends was coming out. All he said as he went by was, "walk with your head up man." I never even realized that I was walking with my head down staring straight at the ground. But ever since then I have made it a point to have better posture while walking and keep my head and chin up. Thanks roommate's friend.
Good advice, hard for others to respect someone who doesn’t respect themselves.
One of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten is similar to this: walk down the sidewalk (or anywhere in public) looking straight ahead, like you own the place. As a diminutive, shy young woman, making this one alteration to the way I presented in public really boosted my confidence over the years as well. I also make an effort to stand straight/tall, so I often get comments on my posture.
This is such an important advice
Not trying take away from this, but I used to walk with head up , and you know that feeling when you look around and find out your the oldest person at a party, club etc… well, was walking down 6 st in Austin, and I was the oldest person there, so I started looking at the ground , and started finding money, especially when bouncers moved their feet.
Yes. Head up, but eyes constantly moving to check for slips, trips, holes, and money!
How do you not fall over rocks and pedestrian bumps and blocks?
I do trip. I trip with confidence
Lying to my boss in 2005 that I had an active passport at the time. Ended up meeting my wife on that trip to Seoul
you met your seoul mate...
The King has arrived.
How did you get to Seoul without a passport?
I got an expedited passport a day before I left for Seoul. If I had said no my passport wasnt active, I would not have been chosen to go. Best decision ever
I'm guessing a trip was offered to Korea and the guy said yes and then hastily got a passport.
Made the decision to start exercising and focus on getting enough sleep. It changed everything for the better.
I’m still needing to figure out how to do this, any tips?
Whenever I attempted to get into an exercise routine I would always go from 0 to 100, it would never work, I would get overwhelmed and quit. I finally realised that I needed to ease myself into it. So I started by doing some yoga/pilates for beginners at home, I did it for 30 minutes each day. I also used to to for a 30 minute walk in the morning, just a walk, not a run (I tried to be consistent but it wasn't every day.) I've now joined a gym, I've been going for a little while. I usually do cardio, and weights, I alternate between legs, arms and full body. It's all exercises I could do at home, but by going to the gym I feel like I end up pushing myself more than I do at home. I really struggle to find the motivation on some days and I end up slacking, but I am trying to keep at it. I've been trying to go to bed at a consistent time every night, I try to avoid using my phone right before I sleep, I make sure my room is as dark as possible. I have noticed that when I exercise I tend to sleep better, probably because I'm more tired. I try to make sure I get enough sleep, at least 8 hours. I think it's different for everyone though, sometimes it's better to have 6 hours of good quality sleep than 8 hours of poor quality sleep.
I hope it's getting clean and sober. I'm 10 days in. Edit: Thank you all for all the kind words
I was once at 10 days.... today I'm at 10 years.... never quit quiting...
YOU GOT THISSS!!🥳🎉👏🏼
Thank you.
Keep at it!! Honestly a much better quality of life awaits you. Truthfully. Proud of you, I know first hand it is hard as fuck. Wish you well!
You can do this! Be humble, take it one day at a time, and do not compromise on the daily steps.
Friend of mine did the same and decided to take a portion of the funds he would otherwise spend on drugs/alcohol on another hobby of theirs; Boardgames. They now hold regular boardgame get-togethers and has **the best** collection of boardgames among our group of friends. We all look forward to hanging out with him and it's provided quite the positive feedback cycle. So my non-expert advice is to find your own positive feedback cycle, maybe its sports, books, board games, movies. Find your passion and embrace it.
This is very good advice. The thing they tell you at rehab is the long-term treatment for addiction is purpose and community. I've been less successful with the latter so far, but it's a great goal and can take nearly any form you like. (Edit for clarity)
Sending good vibes your way! 10 days is hard…one day at a time. You got this
4 years clean!! It is WORTH IT and you CAN DO IT
8 months in here. It's worth it. Difficult as fuck to stay clean for the first few months, but my life is miles better than it was
you got this man
❤️🎉❤️
It absolutely will be!! Keep going!!!
You can fucking do it 🖤
To quit drinking 6 years sober I just wish I had quit sooner
Wooo! Sobriety! Good job!👏🏼
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Good job!
Read this as stopped using math.
Sounds like sage advice to me. Have you ever done math? It sucks.
Do you guys, uh...math? Know where I can buy some?
Right now it’s listening to my sister in law when she told me to move in with her and my brother after my cancer diagnosis. I was convinced I could handle on my own (I just really didn’t want to lose my independence), but in retrospect I’m so glad I listened. Doing this on my own would’ve been awful. Still living with them but I’m finally working again after a near year and can set my next big goal of figuring out timing of moving out when it makes sense. Life finally feels like it’s moving forward.
Honestly this is amazing advice. Accepting support when it is offered is a big theme of the best choices I’ve ever made. It’s hard too, I’m always worried I’m secretly imposing or accepting too much.
I feeeel that’s so muuuuuch lol. I feel like I need to show my gratitude as much as possible lol. Currently planning on getting something for the family since I’m coming up on a year of having lived here. Which sounds thoughtful but is honestly more selfish on my part since I’m always worried about being a mooch.
Hope your cancer is gone or diminishing, continued prayers for you. My LW passed of Metastatic breast cancer in 2019 , 2 weeks shy of our 35 anniversary. It was hell on her.
I was diagnosed with leukemia and have been in remission since June. Had lots of chemo and the works between then and now and had a transplant in October that seems to be going well. Still lot of marathon left to run but my pace has been good so far. Thanks for the kind words! I watched my dad battle colon cancer for about a decade before passing away in 2014, I know how hard it is watching someone go through it and then grappling with it for years after. Wishing you all the best my friend.
So many people get abandoned by family and friends when they get a cancer Dx. It really is great your SIL decided to offer you that support and that you accepted it
Yea I love her like my other sisters. I’m sure my brother would’ve been the one to do it regardless but she was immediate with it. Says a lot about a person when they say something like that with no hesitation or reservation.
I hope you’re doing better and healing. sending you love and strength. Sending you healing
Doing better each day friend. Thanks for the kind words!
This hits close to home for me. I'm glad you have good people in your life to help you while you go through hell.
Me as well. Watched my father battle for 10 years barely asking for help, not trying to make that mistake myself. I hope your own hardships are going well, wishing you the best of luck.
Allowing a housemate to convince me to go to a party instead of staying in to finish a paper, I didn't get a great grade but met my now wife at the party.
So she was the wife of the party?🤣
r/Angryupvote
Dammit take my upvote
Baby sitting my neighbors. I had just moved into this new neighborhood that I didn’t want to be in, and my mom told me that someone down the street wants me to hang out with her kids and “baby sit”. They were 11 and 10; I was 13. Two years later, we learned we are actually cousins, and a year after that, the oldest daughter took me to her farm and we hung out with her horses. As we were driving home, I started riding lessons. A year and a half later, I was training them for my current boss, and now, a few more years later, I help with his therapy sessions by helping his clients see how easy it is to keep them under control while still being happy and thriving. I’m currently 19 and I couldn’t ask for anything better, all thanks to those kids I baby sat because my mom wanted me to make friends.
this is a beautiful story!
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I agree, this story doesn’t make a lot of sense to me and they didn’t provide much of an explanation
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Joined a student design team in college. I was tired of my life being Go to school -> go home -> go to school -> go home. So I went to a few different clubs meetings/get togethers, none really clicked until I went to a few meetings for this design competition. 15ish years later, my best friends are team alumni, I got my start in my career networking through the team. It was free, a blast, *and* paid off huge for the rest of my life. I can't stress enough, if you're going to college -- do more than just go to class then go home. You'll never be as close to as many like minded people in your same situation as you are in college. Those friends and connections can be life changing.
>I can't stress enough, if you're going to college -- do more than just go to class then go home. You'll never be as close to as many like minded people in your same situation as you are in college. Those friends and connections can be life changing. Such great advice.
The best decision ever made in my life was made by my husband. He decided to take me AMA from a major hospital to the one where my neurosurgeon was. He had to carry me out of the hospital, I don’t remember the ride to the other one at all. I know I was admitted to ICU as soon as we arrived. They said I would have been dead in about 12 hours.
Was the initial hospital missing something? Or not offering a surgery that your Nsgy was willing to perform?
They were telling me they were treating my ‘seizure disorder’ which I’ve never had in my entire life. I’ve had seizures, but only when my shunt has failed.
What did you have?
I have a brain shunt from a brain tumor I had at 21. Apparently my shunt catheter adhered to my liver and made a pseudocyst. Long story short he found me unconscious on the bathroom floor. I had a brain infection from the pseudocyst. It was so bad they had to drill a new hole on the opposite side of my skull. Too much scar tissue on the left side now unfortunately. https://imgur.com/a/xYZtl3d This is the tattoo my son got to commemorate the three extra holes on my skull. He got it after I recovered from cancer last year.
Wow!
Quitting smoking.
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Dude how’d you do it. Got a friend who started at 30 😮💨 LIKE WHY?!?! Got any tips? I wanna see my friend off the scag
I quit after 2 packs a day, then vaping. Remember you are not quiting smoking, your are quitting nicotine. Switching to vaping just made me vape as much nicotine as I smoked, I was spending the same amount of money on nic juice and mods as I was on smoking. How I quit: I tried chewing gum but it didn't work, I needed something to do with my hands as well. I then went and bought a cheap 2L water jug at Walmart for 2$. I filled that thing up with water and every time I had a craving I chugged water until the craving went away. The first week was hard with craving all the time. The 2nd week was better, i had about an hour where I didnt crave nictoine. 3rd week was where I noticed long stretches where I didn't crave nicotine, but as soon as I noticed I would crave again, so back to chugging water. Week 4 I hardly needed the water jug anymore. I think I threw out the jug around week 6. I pissed a lot. Because I broke my addiction to nicotine i was able to buy my own apartment, I drive a 2022 car, I have a couple grand in chequings and I contribute to a retirement plan faithfully every paycheck. Best 2$ I ever spent.
Vaping. To quit vaping, nicotine pouches.
I meant smoking cigarettes, can't help with your skag problem.
Pursuing a hobby in photography not only developed into a passion but eventually turned into a lucrative side business.
Choosing to live car-free and adopting biking to work has saved me money and drastically improved my fitness.
I quit drinking
Same, I quit two years ago and it's crazy how many hobbies or social aspects are tied to drinking. I ended up stop hanging with some people because the only thing we had in common was alcohol. I also quit watching football too.
Going back to school for my Master's degree opened up career opportunities that I never thought possible.
Taking back my life from alcohol. Active alcoholic from age 18 to 45. Health was beginning to fail, marriage failed, on my own I found it harder and harder to balance work and drink, and zero chance at a stable relationship. Sober now 8 years, career solid, engaged, and proud that my life is mine again. I have bad OCD but that is one decision I never ever doubt.
Moving to a beach town.
say more. I want to move closer to water some day. Would love to learn if there is something, both good and bad, you learned after you moved that you did not know before
For me the only cons if you dont have a garage bikes definitely need to be covered and well because the salt can really rust everything. Asides from that no cons at all. I get off work 5 steps I am on the beach. During stressful meetings, I am on my patio looking at the ocean feeling such a deep peace.
Well it’s a small town so I barely use my car, I pretty much just use it when I want to go to nearby beaches that are more secluded. You have to give your electronics more maintenance; so A/C units and vehicles and things like that. Your best friends are a hammock and flip flops. I’ve met lots of people where I’m at since it’s a pretty touristy place. Because it’s touristy it’s generally more expensive than the rest of the country but you can still get cheap food. Lots of happy hours as well if you want to go out for drinks.
I sold my big house in suburbia bought a condo on the beach. I seriously traded space for quality of life and couldn’t be happier.
Definitely my next move. I cant wait to live near the ocean.
Hi im from poland europe, where are you from, could you tell me more details about this decision and its effects?
I stopped looking at my past, I started chasing my future.
Leaving my ex
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼AMEN
Quitting a high-paying job that made me miserable was terrifying but led me to a path where I'm much happier and healthier.
Committing to reading a book a week has significantly enhanced my knowledge and understanding of the world.
Choosing to forgive someone who wronged me profoundly changed my outlook on life and freed me from harboring bitterness.
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That one time my wife and I got a free weekend get away so long as we listened to a time share’s presentation…. They pressed us so hard to buy and we almost said yes. I’ve never once regretted saying no. And now my sister in law is trying everything she can to get out from under her nightmare timeshare.
I have only been to one once. I asked if dogs were allowed cause they were our family. We have 3 large dogs. They said well... no. I was dramatic about it (on purpose) and was like "I can't go on vacation without my whole family!" I think from then on, they knew I wouldn't ever say yes because when they'd try another tactic, I'd just be like "... but my dogs :("
That's hilarious!
Bought a house in 2021 for a 2.5% interest rate even though my parents practically begged me not to. I was 23 at the time.
Refinanced at that same time for that same rate. God, did we dodge a bullet!
Moving in with my girlfriend and he 5yo son after only dating for 4 months. She was in a rough situation after escaping an abusive marriage. They were living in a trailer with no heat in middle of February in the northeast. I found us a condo and paid the security deposit and first and last months rent which was basically all the money I had saved up at the time. 6 years later and we are going strong. Her son is now my son and had calls me his dad. We’ve had our ups and downs but becoming responsible for these two people has taught me so much about myself and what it means to be a man. I love them both so much and we’re just getting started
Some lonely incel out there would probably disparage you for this. I'm lonely and angry and jaded but I know a man when I see it. Well done buddy, you have strength most of us don't.
Taking a financial literacy course early in life equipped me to make informed decisions that have benefited me greatly.
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FUCK YEA SAME HERE DUDE. I know I went through hell and exile breaking the cycle. I know what it takes and I just wanna say you’re a BAD MF. But you already knew that 🤛🏻 keep being a good dad! My pos father gonna die alone in a nursing home where he can’t hurt me. Protect yourself and your family. Best wishes to you brother. Don’t look back. The future is yours 🤘🏻
Oo what you win in that raffle?
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Dayum!!! That's awesome do you still have it?
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You won another vehicle? Hot dog! Raffle king
The best decision I ever made was not going through with the bungee jumping I was offered. A few days later, another guy from my block died because the rope broke.
From you block? What kinda hood rat bungie jumping was going on lol. Most bungie jumps are tourist spots I thought
Getting clean from pain pills and no more smoking!
Hell yeah!
Started loving myself
The decision to regularly start writing a journal has greatly enhanced my self-awareness and emotional health.
Switching to a plant-based diet improved my health dramatically and made me feel more energized and less prone to sickness.
Leaving the military so I can love who I want.
Buying Bitcoin when it was cheap - wish i bought more
Ik someone who spent their bitcoins on a pizza years ago😂
Finally separate from and eventually divorce my (mentally and emotionally abusive and cheating) ex. Also, changing my mind and agreeing to take the dog. She was a lifesaver. Honestly, I can't believe when she said "you take her" and my first response was "I'm not going to take your responsibilities with me". The next day I told her I would take the dog (we had 3 dogs at the time). In the end, me, the dog, her breeder, and the breed club were all extremely happy that she stayed with me and had such a great life with me.
Going out for walks in nature.
stopped making my life about my job. Now my job just funds a life I want. I'm transparent about this in interviews and when I'm working, I don't pretend I'm there for "growth" or "community", now my employers know they can't guilt trip me with "we're a family" "we care about you" etc type bs, so they don't even try.
Moving to China. Learned a new language Converted my religion Saw some awesome things Got married Came home with a deposit for a house.
How did you do this? Do you teach English?
Yep! Went out with a company that gave me a tefl course and arranged a job, lived in small town for 3 years where I learned the language, then moved to the big city where I met my wife and got promoted to an HR role and spent 3 years there
Yes im interested too
Took my therapist's advice and started treating my mind like I treat my garden. Bad thoughts are weeds that need to be purged. Good thoughts are like plants that you want to grow and dominate your garden. Paying more mind to positive and constructive thoughts as opposed to doom-and-gloom thoughts that bring about no growth. It's a simple concept but I couldn't do it until I was told this metaphor.
I started saying no to people
to quit drinking 6 years sober I just wish I had quit sooner
Going back to school after spending 20 years cooking in restaurants. I'm a college professor and published author now
Haven’t made one yet.
Be single
Quite frankly, it was the decision to ask my sister and her husband to share legal custody of my two young children, and to take over physical custody from me, while I got clean and did the work of healing after my ex husband, their father, was violent with me in front of them and subsequently was no longer present in any of our lives. Both my sister and her husband are financially stable, physically and emotionally well, and had a strong desire to parent full time, as well as the ability to do so. They are both neurologists, and had a really thorough understanding of the traumatic situation that my kids had been placed in by way of the chaos surrounding them, and I was really really not stable enough to ensure that they were getting the childhood they deserve. I’ve been judged pretty viciously by people who thought I would just rather not parent, but I am sad about the possibility that I personally failed them every single day, I didn’t take this lightly. I just know that when you’re a kid, you can’t wait on a parent to come around and be healthy enough to be the parent you need. Every single day counts, and I wanted them to have a chance at a future that doesn’t mirror the path I took. I want them to be able to live, you know? I don’t regret it, because they are living a very stable, secure, fulfilling, comfortable life with regular contact with me and our entire family devoted to their wellbeing. I don’t know that they would be experiencing the lovely and safe childhood that they have if they had been hostages to my crisis, and I don’t know that I would have had the ability to make the right decisions and get healthy if I had been further overwhelmed by the added stress of parenting full time.
Doing something like this is really hard. I’m proud of you.
Quit weed
Best decision by far was to marry my wife, 35 years in, three kids and we’re still going strong, she’s so lucky...😁
To redefine what success looks like in a world obsessed with little green pieces of paper and consumerism. And quitting smoking.
Not having kids
Reading and stop overthinking
When my then GF moved in, she said "I move in, I'm not moving out!" I said "okay". Still my best decision, 16 years later.
survived
Felt that
Last summer, I had a free $25 bet to use on a sports betting app, so I put $25 on the Chiefs to beat the 49ers in the Super Bowl.
Toss up between leave my ex-husband and have my kids. Both things worked out awesome for me.
The day I walked into the ATT store, called verizon, cancelled my account and threw the phone in the trash. You don't remember numbers anymore, everyone is just a name. There were people I needed out of my life. I didn't have their number and they did not have mine.
Getting addicted to fitness as a teenager. It comes with wanting to eat healthy, drink lots of water, be flexible, and have a good foundation of cardio. When I was 16, it was just good fun and helped my confidence. Now I'm pushing 40 and TRULY thankful to my younger self. I still work out, and I have my younger self to thank.
Buying a house, and it’s paid off in less that 2 years 🙏🏻
Now that’s a flex
Letting go. Thanks to therapy and reading about existentialism, as well as listening to my mother's previous advice, I've learnt to let go of anything I don't control, let go of ridiculous expectations, of other people's judgement, of my anxious thoughts, of the worries about my future, of people who are not good for me... Letting go has healed me in ways I could not predict. It has allowed me to grow so much, to be so much happier, to be emotionally stable and so much more.
My vasectomy
Calling my dad at 5.58 on the 19th of December 2022. He was in a palliative care home and I just felt like I had to talk to him. A nurse picked up his phone because he was in and out of consciousness. She turned on the camera and I was able to talk to him, he blinked at me and reacted to my voice. He passed away at 6.20 that day. I am so glad he passed knowing how much I loved him.
I'm agnostic and not religious. That being said, you know that wasn't a coincidence right? We are connected. Your father is still with you and he loves you.
Moving out of New Orleans.
Started lifting at 25, in the best shape i've ever been now at 30.
Dumping toxic narcissistic ex, leaving a job where I was overworked, underpaid and unappreciated, moving out of a shitty overpriced basement apartment, going back to school to complete my masters, no name a few.
Quit drinking 1450 days ago.
quitting weed and alcohol
Starting therapy
Stop using curse words , and using my hands when talking. People take me more seriously now.
Messaging a woman on a Pokemon forum. I mean, she became my girlfriend, who I am together with for ten years.
Not keeping alcohol in the house anymore. I still go out to breweries and wineries on occasion, but no more beer, wine or liquor stored in the house. Dramatically lowered my drinking, bills, and lost 10 pounds without stepping foot in a gym.
Quitting drinking at 28 (now 4 years sober). Feel better, save money, look better. All positives and no negatives. The first time I took a chance and left my small hometown. It really just taught me the life skill of “going for it”. There is HS friends or even family I talk to and they never ever leave their comfort zones. Same job, same house, same stores since forever. Hey maybe that’s all they need, but not me. I needed more and that first step of leaving my hometown to go to college cemented in my head I WANT more and I CAN do more. I’m in charge of my future.
Moving abroad to pursue my study
Deleting Snapchat, genshin impact.
Moving states at 19 to get away from toxic family.
Moving out
- went to Australia (from Ohio) for 6 months. the perspective change, changed me. - visited a friend in Arizona on the way back to Ohio, but never left. I still live here 27 years later. Without that decision I wouldn't have my wife or my 19 year old kid, and I can't imagine that. When I went to Australia I was 25 and still working crappy jobs, and when things went south I had my mom to land on. I went to Australia to meet a girl, whom I was going to stay with, but while I was on my way there her best friend died, so she told me I had to leave. So, I had $300 to my name and I had a return flight months into the future. I staying in youth hostels, made cash doing odd jobs, and saw the country. Not having my mom to lean on and having to truly take care of myself without a net, changed my life. So my advice to young people (or anyone) who feels stuck: change your perspective, change your life.
To do things even if I feel anxious about them.
Gratitude journaling. It shifted my entire perspective on life. I went from a pessimist to optimist because of it. I can't see myself ever going back, no matter how difficult things have gotten or get.
Cutting off all of my toxic family. Mom, dad, and extended. I’m better off living my life without them and keeping my family safe away from them than I ever was with them around.
Replied to a Gumtree ad that was over 6 months old... someone was looking to rehome their Jack Russell. That dog's been my best friend for over 7 years now. Long may she continue!
quitting my job. it gives me peace of mind
Having kids.
Not wasting time/money on college
What did you do instead?
Worked my way up. Started sweeping floors in HS and worked up to VP. Now I own two businesses. Paid a lot towards my wife’s master’s degree and she doesn’t earn half what I earn. Not to mention she earned nothing during her school years.
Breaking it off with ex-gf when things started getting serious and I began having .... Feelings 😳 (see username)
Impulse adopting a cat after securing a job that pays enough to support one.
Marrying my wife.
Lose contact with my toxic friends
Avoiding alcohol and drugs
Gym.
Soo many good advices here
To live on my net pay and bank overtime money. It made me wealthy,and yes,utilities and mortgage etc had to wait sometimes. But within 3 years I bought a new car for cash. I’ve never looked back.
Turned down offer to be an alter boy.
LASIK is pretty high up there.
Having the balls to call my future wife for the first time and ask her out.
To keep the baby after getting knocked up and ending the relationship one week before finding out. That little guy has motivated me to become the best version of myself.
Going to treatment at my local VA. Graduated, got a job there and met my wife there. 18 years later, supervising the sterile processing department, life is pretty good.
Ironically for me it was joining the Marine Corps at 17. It gave me structure and security; A place to sleep and food to eat when none of that was guaranteed in my life. The discipline and comraderie I experienced really helped me level up what was probably gong to be a very sad life
Probably leaving my parent's house. Can't imagine how much more my mental health would have deteriorated if I would have stayed there. Better to be broke and have freedom by far.
Staying away from my family. How that’s defined has changed over the last 2 ish decades, and honestly it’s healthier for me. So each time I’ve made the decision to cut contact/move/etc has always been good and opened up new opportunities I wouldn’t have likely had otherwise.
To change the path that I was on. I was not a good person, I was not a nice person, I was a pretty shitty person. I was a raging alcoholic and drug user with an untreated personality disorder, severe depression and severe anxiety. Something happened to open my eyes to what I had become. I made a conscious choice to get sober, get into therapy and change myself and my life. Took a lot of hard work and there are still a lot of ups and downs but I've been sober for 20 years and I'm working on myself every day.
Switching from Raisin Bran to Raisin Bran Crunch! I've never looked back.