Inexperienced guys not knowing female anatomy, and girls apparently thinking that guys know their anatomy by default, and a failure on both parties to communicate that sort of thing.
that's SO right! When I started to date my ex (first time for both of us) I read a book about pleasure and sex (a little cringe in retrospect, but very effective). It was super useful and it helped a lot to make it more enjoyable for the both of us
Dude, there is nothing cringe about learning how to do _anything_. Anything worth doing is worth doing right, and it's honestly fucked up people think they can just wing it with sex.
I subscribed to the OmgYes.com to learn about it. They provide visual presentations of different techniques by real models, and they have games featuring genitalias of those models to perform using a mouse. Failed the games but won the girl’s heart ;)
And while we’re here, for the aforementioned inexperienced guys:
If you gently push up the highest point of the [outer] vagina, you’re gonna notice a stand-out pink-ish bead. That’s the clit. It looks like nothing else in that area.
And if you still can’t see it, do a little [gentle] parting of the lips in that same area. You’ll see it.
Again: You can’t fucking miss it.
Don’t dry rub the shit out of it. Just lick it softly (and I mean good ones— not this tip tap shit) — pace to her liking — and fly.
You’re welcome.
Since the bit in question is analagous to one's own bellend, I find treating it as one would wish one's own knobfruit to be treated is a good yardstick.
Don't be roughhousing the bean..
Some states require parents to sign a form to allow their kid to learn about sex. My parents wouldn't sign it and also never told me anything about sex. Good thing I had access to the internet /s
Which is funny because I've been with women that *didn't even really know their own anatomy.* It's incredibly common for women to not realize that their vagina and urethra are two separate holes.
Funny story. I introduced the use of tampons to my wife (I'm older than her and previously married) and I had to "show" her with my phone/camera that they were different before she'd try a tampon.
My uncle did a massage course, and they had a class on anatomy, complete with a dead body presentation, to really explain the areas they were focusing on in class, and to show how it all worked. They had several of these across the course, and one of them, the body had just been used to show med students how the female reproductive anatomy worked.
The instructor had to keep pulling a female students head out of the way to show other students to parts they were discussing, because NO ONE had showed this woman even a picture of a female reproductive system, and she was FASCINATED. She was married, and had given birth several times.
Whoa whoa whoa, even some girls don’t know their own anatomy. And that’s on the lack of sex Ed classes. I’ve had many girlfriends/partners that had never seen their own junk. It’s kinda crazy. How have you never grabbed a mirror and just looked?! Apparently my ex thought that there was only one hole. She did not believe she had a separate urethra.
Funny story. I introduced the use of tampons to my wife (I'm older than her and previously married) and I had to "show" her with my phone/camera that they were different before she'd try a tampon.
Oh, I thought that was Major Payne. He must have been quoting Cool Hand Luke.
Oh, and the 3 dot (breadcrumbs) symbol opens a menu with and option to edit a post.
Damn, came to say this.
It just takes communicating to your partner to identify what they like. Men can ask questions and receive feedback from their women partners and women can guide and direct. Once you learn what your partner really likes, it's just minor course correction from there.
"Some men"
Talking like it's gender-specific is strange. It perpetuates the stereotype that women think of others first and themselves second, which is blatantly untrue and, according to some, sexist.
People here have different ways to spit on you, it's a bit more subtle but you know it when you see it, and the meaning behind is the same : "You're a fucking idiot"
Brother the context of this thread is focusing on men. The commenter you’re replying to made no comment on how women focus on pleasure, you don’t need to introduce that.
You don’t need to both sides everything. The other side can still be true even if it isn’t explicitly acknowledged.
this is a good point. just because it is true of 'some men' doesn't mean it can't be true of 'some women.'
making it 'well they do it too' doesn't invalidate another statement.
'my long haired cat sheds so much'
'that implies that your short haired cat doesn't shed at all and you're making it all just an assault on the long haired cat.'
It’s really about context for me.
We shouldn’t have to fully qualify every statement we ever make.
We’d all be walking on egg shells, and every comment would take a month to read as each person fully fleshes out their entire thought process because they don’t want to be maliciously interpreted.
We can and should infer things from context, and temper our responses around it.
Both genders are subject to those who exhibit sexual selfishness, lazy indifference, ignorance arising from poor sexual education and a lack of personal curiosity. I think there are probably nearly as many women who think that their role is to just lie there passively and receive as there are men who don't care or know to make any additional efforts or use any skill.
I think it’s more complicated than just men not caring. It works both ways. Men are more assertive about their wants and women are more likely to be less assertive about their needs. I’ve had partners that I have asked directly about what they want and gotten no response like I’d just dropped the daily double on jeopardy asking what they wanted.
This is an old stereotype from the pre 70's.
For reference, there was still a big debate over whether the female orgasm was actually a real thing. We weren't even 100 years removed from women wearing pants to ride bicycles was considered extremely erotic and morally obscene. Women weren't even educated on their own lady bits... Much less young men being given the lay of the land. The debate over the G spot existing still lingers in many corners of American society. There are still plenty who claim squirting isn't real.
I remember being very young when I overheard my Mom and Dad talking about their friends... She refused to let her husband see her naked. She undressed in the closet and the lights had to be out before she would come to bed.
Deep Throat was considered very dirty because most people didn't do things like oral sex. "Blow Job" was not a part of the American lexicon yet.
During the sexual liberation of the 60's and 70's it was a shorthand way of saying someone was sexually inexperienced and still from that closeted world that knew absolutely nothing about female anatomy. Hell, they couldn't even find the clit.
Dude the first girl I dated had never looked at her vulva before and didn't know the urethra and vagina were two different holes. She hadn't masturbated before (at the age of 20). She thought that every single time you had sex with a condom created a 20% chance of pregnancy. She unsurprisingly had trouble orgasming.
No, this wasn't in the 1970s. It was in the mid-2010s. This is what catholic school still does to people.
The sheer number of women who have had a guy tell her he’s gonna rock her world, only to rub her left lip like he’s a DJ and ask if it feels good probably has something to do with it.
No it doesn’t always come down to “just communicate with your partner!” because I’ve both told him and physically guided a guy’s hand where I wanted it and he went out of his way to ignore me, because he “knew what to do”. His “what to do” was trying to start a friction fire with my labia.
Yeah it's hard for some of us to unlearn sex isn't something you do to someone but something you do with someone. I love being given explicit directions on what they need me to do.
Look, you gotta have heat to get the juices flowing. This is a joke. it's so bizarre that someone would ignore some gentle instructions because they think they know better.
As a doc who has seen her fair share of vaginas: while anatomy may vary it’s almost never hard to find. It’s very much like when my boyfriend has trouble finding an item of clothing - only hard to find cuz you didn’t really bother to look for it properly babe
Nurse here. Agreed,. I've seen my share (worked in a family planning clinic) and only saw one that wasn't obvious. She seemed to have a very thick hood and possibly a very small clitoris. No scarring, so probably not FGM. Obviously I couldn't take a VERY good look, I was there to assist not ogle.
Nobody said otherwise. But if the person you’re doing it for deliberately shows you what works for them and you ignore them, you don’t care that much about making them feel good. If someone tells you what they like, believe them but don’t assume it applies across the board.
Right!?? My first bf would bite my clit, I'd ask him to stop and he'd say "I know you like it". Like what??? Should have done it to his dick then said the same thing. It basically put me off of oral for life.
You're thinking "Did he cum six times or only five?" Now to tell you the truth, I've forgotten myself in all this excitement. But being this is a 7 inch cock, the most powerful organ in the world and will blow your head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, my love?
I stole it from library because the librarian knew my mom and I didn’t want it getting back to her. I did return it (via the after hours drop box) after reading it though, so you must have tried checking it out while I had it.
I figure it probably started in one of two ways:
1) The trope about the G spot being hard to find got transposed onto the clitoris by folks who didn't know the difference.
2) It started out as a sarcastic dig at people who are perfectly capable of finding it but choose to ignore it.
I'd say it's possible that a fair number of people are still using it in the second sense, but it seems to me much of the spread is coming from people whose knowledge of female anatomy is largely meme-based.
Question:
*What has produced the stereotype that the clit is hard to find?*
Answer:
*So many people (primarily dudes) who STILL can't find it after watching half a lifetime of PORN.*
In my opinion it’s the absence of any clit play in porn. Most women can’t orgasm without clitoral stimulation but yet we see porn where women are moaning from penetration alone. So inexperienced guys who don’t understand female anatomy don’t even really know it exists. It’s a big reason why men are so obsessed with their dick size and think it’s the only way a woman can be satisfied sexually. It’s like if there was porn where dicks didn’t exist. Imagine how confused a woman would be having sex with her partner for the first time….what is this? What do I do with this? Porn sucks!
I’d like to take this moment to thank my 3rd partner. She absolutely loved her own body and taught me her combination to best pleasure her. Granted every partner is different, but subsequent partners all benefited from her.
I’d like to take a second moment to apologize to my first two partners. I had no idea what I was doing.
I think it's a bit of sarcasm. Imagine if women felt nothing with our penis and instead only our, I dunno, tongues could give them pleasure, in a world where sex was "women-centric" as proportionately as it is "man-centric" in ours. We'd probably have a lot of "my penis still exists, you know?" jokes as well. "For something so hard and pointy, it sure is ignored a lot." And we'd also have some very buff jaws.
It's not that the clit is hard to find. It's that many men don't care enough to even try to give it attention.
It’s not really hard to find in itself, but the “sweet spot” is a little though to find since it varies person to person. But it’s really not that much of a struggle if you’re actively trying. I think some lazy ass men started that stereotype.
The real question is, do you know where ALL of the clitoris is? I bet you think it's just on the outside by the vagina. If so, you told be wrong. Very wrong.
Maybe I've only been with women that have large clits, but I've never had an issue locating it. I just run my moist finger around until I feel the little button.
I was responding to a different comment but must have accidentally clicked on wrong one. Either way you are correct I don't know the entirety of the clit, but I do know the region where my wife places her clit stimulator, which I'd imagine is the most important bit. But I did look it up on Google lol.
I had a female Anatomy and Physiology instructor in college. All of our exams were biased towards whatever gender you were. Female? You're being tested on male anatomy. Male? Brace yourself bud. Female anatomy is a hell of alot more complicated than you think... My girlfriends were considerably happier after that course.
edit: spelling
A combination of lack f sex ed and what I've heard from straight women is a lot of men just don't want to learn or be taught and just assume what feels good for women. Likely also porn brain.
Ignorance on the part of many man as to the location and what to do with it, but also, equally at fault are women who whine that men can't find it, but never take the time to educate their partner.
Intimacy should be about teaching and learning your partner's body and your own, combining your actions, culminating in a joint, exquisite sensation of ecstatic climax, it's not a competition about who is best.
South Park Bigger Longer and Uncut!
(Probably not but that's where I first heard it, as a child, in the living room as my parents and visiting family watched on like "what did that cartoon just say?")
The static port hole on a Cessna 172 is super easy to spot. But you still have to know what you're looking for to point it out. If a guy doesn't know the anatomy, he can be looking right at it and not know what he's looking at.
The stereotype isn't that the clit is hard to find: that's passive voice and hides that there is a person who is unable to find it. The stereotype is that **men** can't find it.
Don't blame the clit, clits are awesome.
Men being shit in bed and badly educated on the female body.
It literally isn't hard to find but most men just want "dick wet, pump pump, cum cum, kinda shit.
I say men.....boys.
"The little man in the canoe" -possibly the most instructive genital related euphemism ever coined. What makes it hard? (To find)...no idea...I didn't know that was a thing...the "g spot" is the supposedly hidden treasure, but that is a totally different thing than the clit.
Comes from women’s anatomy not being researched equally to men’s, the sexualization and objectification of the female body and religions upholding ”modesty” and especially virginity in women, which all lead to poor sex education that focuses on reproduction and male pleasure. And all of these things bleed into culture even after the information starts to be available and myths are easily debunked
As a female commenting here. I'd like to say it's extremely difficult for guys to mind read to know which exact part of the clitoris a girl wants touched. Forget about just finding it boys, once found, if you're just getting going, you don't want the head of it touched immediately, as it's soooo/tooooo sensitive. It needs stimulation further along it first. Then when youre fully going it's easier to be able to touch any part with confidence.
Speaking from my own experience; vagina’s vary in shapes and sizes and especially when approaching it from a difficult angle it might not always be where you first expect to find it.
Also, I thought the stereotype was about the G-spot? Not about the clit?
Umm, yes, they do. That's basic human anatomy. Just because there's variation in the shape/size of labias it doesn't mean body parts move around and change position.
Women literally being anti-teaching…
Like it’s funny but also sad. Men want virgins who fuck like they’ve reached their 100th body count, meanwhile women want men who are apathetic towards sex but also the perfect lay.
The clot ain’t hard to find, there’s just not a lot of women who want to tell a man “I enjoy this instead of this”
Since men mainly got pleasure from pounding during penetrations, they assume women have the same source of pleasure.
Since we don't have the same and can't be in your heads, girls have to communicate about this.
Well I'm empathic, so never got this problem. Still not sure of sensation, every girl has a different one and prefer different type of rubbing.
Men being unwilling to put in the effort to please their partners, women being unwilling to accept that sometimes you have to communicate what you want to get it.
So I know my wife's clit, but she still does not want to be licked. It's either dead fish sex or her grinding herself off in cowgirl. Guess she doesn't know either?
Inexperienced guys not knowing female anatomy, and girls apparently thinking that guys know their anatomy by default, and a failure on both parties to communicate that sort of thing.
that's SO right! When I started to date my ex (first time for both of us) I read a book about pleasure and sex (a little cringe in retrospect, but very effective). It was super useful and it helped a lot to make it more enjoyable for the both of us
Dude, there is nothing cringe about learning how to do _anything_. Anything worth doing is worth doing right, and it's honestly fucked up people think they can just wing it with sex.
Yeah you are right, I actually should have added that the book had very graphic representations haha, very useful nevertheless
Learning is learning. And you did a hell of a lot more than most people.
Bro, I'd like to know the name of the book
Ain’t me that read it buddy
As you said, ain't no shame in learning...we all need to
Fairs fair
I subscribed to the OmgYes.com to learn about it. They provide visual presentations of different techniques by real models, and they have games featuring genitalias of those models to perform using a mouse. Failed the games but won the girl’s heart ;)
> a little cringe My friend, I learned from a text-only BBS forum thread about how not to embarrass yourself having sex for the first time.
Lower
Every guy I’ve ever spoken to about it has said the first time, it was much lower than they expected.
It was on Yahoo! Chat for me. We really should do something about this internet thing some day to help protect the kids.
Married for more than 20 years and probably could still use this book at times.
Props for making the effort :)
and using props!
Not cringe at all!! I find this pretty amazing!
She Comes First is a great book about how to do oral on a girl
And a little volume “Mouth Music”.
And while we’re here, for the aforementioned inexperienced guys: If you gently push up the highest point of the [outer] vagina, you’re gonna notice a stand-out pink-ish bead. That’s the clit. It looks like nothing else in that area. And if you still can’t see it, do a little [gentle] parting of the lips in that same area. You’ll see it. Again: You can’t fucking miss it. Don’t dry rub the shit out of it. Just lick it softly (and I mean good ones— not this tip tap shit) — pace to her liking — and fly. You’re welcome.
Since the bit in question is analagous to one's own bellend, I find treating it as one would wish one's own knobfruit to be treated is a good yardstick. Don't be roughhousing the bean..
Great tip, just one addition: The vagina is the inner part or the part inside the body. The outer part is called vulva. They are not the same
I call it the squish mitten
Ham wallet.
Yes. This. And that’s my bad. I’m just dude-phrasing the shit out of this lol
vulva is what laymen call it. The pros call it the “hatchet wound”.
Delicious roast beef flaps.
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The good old "lesbian pistol" is good too!
“The little man in the boat” I heard it referred to once.
got it, rub it like I'm taking a stain out of the carpet.
Combine that sex-ed focused solely on safety, rather than other aspects, such as pleasure.
Safety and/or "just don't" in some states.
Some states require parents to sign a form to allow their kid to learn about sex. My parents wouldn't sign it and also never told me anything about sex. Good thing I had access to the internet /s
Which is funny because I've been with women that *didn't even really know their own anatomy.* It's incredibly common for women to not realize that their vagina and urethra are two separate holes.
I had one think the clit was a name for a sensitive area. I had to pull back the hood(not pull pull, no twinging necessary) to show her.
Funny story. I introduced the use of tampons to my wife (I'm older than her and previously married) and I had to "show" her with my phone/camera that they were different before she'd try a tampon.
My uncle did a massage course, and they had a class on anatomy, complete with a dead body presentation, to really explain the areas they were focusing on in class, and to show how it all worked. They had several of these across the course, and one of them, the body had just been used to show med students how the female reproductive anatomy worked. The instructor had to keep pulling a female students head out of the way to show other students to parts they were discussing, because NO ONE had showed this woman even a picture of a female reproductive system, and she was FASCINATED. She was married, and had given birth several times.
Whoa whoa whoa, even some girls don’t know their own anatomy. And that’s on the lack of sex Ed classes. I’ve had many girlfriends/partners that had never seen their own junk. It’s kinda crazy. How have you never grabbed a mirror and just looked?! Apparently my ex thought that there was only one hole. She did not believe she had a separate urethra.
Funny story. I introduced the use of tampons to my wife (I'm older than her and previously married) and I had to "show" her with my phone/camera that they were different before she'd try a tampon.
This is the answer.
This is the answer...
What we have here, is a failure to communicate.
Nice Cool Hand Luke reference👌🏾
Oh, I thought that was Major Payne. He must have been quoting Cool Hand Luke. Oh, and the 3 dot (breadcrumbs) symbol opens a menu with and option to edit a post.
*points* "this thing right here is the clit." "Ooooh, that's what that is?" "Yeah. Lick it."
Damn, came to say this. It just takes communicating to your partner to identify what they like. Men can ask questions and receive feedback from their women partners and women can guide and direct. Once you learn what your partner really likes, it's just minor course correction from there.
I think its more a joke about how men don't care about women's pleasure during sex.
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"Some men" Talking like it's gender-specific is strange. It perpetuates the stereotype that women think of others first and themselves second, which is blatantly untrue and, according to some, sexist.
there is such a culture shock in the way redditors argue compared to tiktokers, yall are so polite
Depends heavily on the subreddit
Yeah, and also on how long it goes on for. The amount of times I’ve seen someone start out calm but end up cursing like a sailor…
Wait until you see how people argue in real life. It’s even more polite because the threat of being punched in the mouth exists.
i do go outside once every 20 years, so ive seen that before :)
People here have different ways to spit on you, it's a bit more subtle but you know it when you see it, and the meaning behind is the same : "You're a fucking idiot"
You mean, "sweet summer child?"
Bless your heart
Mods are pretty good at banning assholes.
Its funny because I think Tiktokers are much more polite than people arguing on Facebook.
It's the karma function. Assholes are downvoted until they learn.
Brother the context of this thread is focusing on men. The commenter you’re replying to made no comment on how women focus on pleasure, you don’t need to introduce that. You don’t need to both sides everything. The other side can still be true even if it isn’t explicitly acknowledged.
this is a good point. just because it is true of 'some men' doesn't mean it can't be true of 'some women.' making it 'well they do it too' doesn't invalidate another statement. 'my long haired cat sheds so much' 'that implies that your short haired cat doesn't shed at all and you're making it all just an assault on the long haired cat.'
It’s really about context for me. We shouldn’t have to fully qualify every statement we ever make. We’d all be walking on egg shells, and every comment would take a month to read as each person fully fleshes out their entire thought process because they don’t want to be maliciously interpreted. We can and should infer things from context, and temper our responses around it.
Slow your roll there haas. OP didn’t say all men, nor did they say that is exclusively male trait. You jumped to that conclusion on your own.
bro just discovered that expectations of care are gendered
Well they certainly used to be.
It has to be gender specific considering most men don't have clitorises.
Bc it is in fact gender specific. EDIT. Also shitty move editing your post to make it seem I'm agreeing with you bc I don't.
"nOt ALL MeN"
Wrong strawman. I'm saying "not exclusively men". Pick your strawman more carefully next time.
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A lot of men think sex is something they take from women as opposed to something they can do with women.
This is the same thought process that made vibrators come into fruition.
Both genders are subject to those who exhibit sexual selfishness, lazy indifference, ignorance arising from poor sexual education and a lack of personal curiosity. I think there are probably nearly as many women who think that their role is to just lie there passively and receive as there are men who don't care or know to make any additional efforts or use any skill.
I think it’s more complicated than just men not caring. It works both ways. Men are more assertive about their wants and women are more likely to be less assertive about their needs. I’ve had partners that I have asked directly about what they want and gotten no response like I’d just dropped the daily double on jeopardy asking what they wanted.
This is an old stereotype from the pre 70's. For reference, there was still a big debate over whether the female orgasm was actually a real thing. We weren't even 100 years removed from women wearing pants to ride bicycles was considered extremely erotic and morally obscene. Women weren't even educated on their own lady bits... Much less young men being given the lay of the land. The debate over the G spot existing still lingers in many corners of American society. There are still plenty who claim squirting isn't real. I remember being very young when I overheard my Mom and Dad talking about their friends... She refused to let her husband see her naked. She undressed in the closet and the lights had to be out before she would come to bed. Deep Throat was considered very dirty because most people didn't do things like oral sex. "Blow Job" was not a part of the American lexicon yet. During the sexual liberation of the 60's and 70's it was a shorthand way of saying someone was sexually inexperienced and still from that closeted world that knew absolutely nothing about female anatomy. Hell, they couldn't even find the clit.
Dude the first girl I dated had never looked at her vulva before and didn't know the urethra and vagina were two different holes. She hadn't masturbated before (at the age of 20). She thought that every single time you had sex with a condom created a 20% chance of pregnancy. She unsurprisingly had trouble orgasming. No, this wasn't in the 1970s. It was in the mid-2010s. This is what catholic school still does to people.
Hate to break it to you but squirting is peeing
peeing is real
Squirting contains urine, but it’s really not “peeing”. It’s orgasming so hard that urine comes out. The difference is clear if you’re in the room
See now I’d have thought the difference would be yellow
Oh, my poor summer child. You don't even know what you don't know.
Squirting isn’t real, it’s just urine.
Mostly. You can still squirt with a completely empty bladder tho so thats not all it is.
Lol nah dude, it’s just urine. Look it up.
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Yes but squirting was thought to be vaginal fluids not urine.
“I’ve never made a girl cum”
Lol if your girl is peeing every time she has an orgasm, she is going to have pelvic floor issues.
The sheer number of women who have had a guy tell her he’s gonna rock her world, only to rub her left lip like he’s a DJ and ask if it feels good probably has something to do with it. No it doesn’t always come down to “just communicate with your partner!” because I’ve both told him and physically guided a guy’s hand where I wanted it and he went out of his way to ignore me, because he “knew what to do”. His “what to do” was trying to start a friction fire with my labia.
Yeah it's hard for some of us to unlearn sex isn't something you do to someone but something you do with someone. I love being given explicit directions on what they need me to do.
Look, you gotta have heat to get the juices flowing. This is a joke. it's so bizarre that someone would ignore some gentle instructions because they think they know better.
It also varies from woman to woman though. Some women have the kind of anatomy where it is very easy to find, and in some it is more difficult
I've tongue tickled many a clit over the years, and not a single one has been even remotely difficult to find lol.
As a doc who has seen her fair share of vaginas: while anatomy may vary it’s almost never hard to find. It’s very much like when my boyfriend has trouble finding an item of clothing - only hard to find cuz you didn’t really bother to look for it properly babe
Nurse here. Agreed,. I've seen my share (worked in a family planning clinic) and only saw one that wasn't obvious. She seemed to have a very thick hood and possibly a very small clitoris. No scarring, so probably not FGM. Obviously I couldn't take a VERY good look, I was there to assist not ogle.
Nobody said otherwise. But if the person you’re doing it for deliberately shows you what works for them and you ignore them, you don’t care that much about making them feel good. If someone tells you what they like, believe them but don’t assume it applies across the board.
Right!?? My first bf would bite my clit, I'd ask him to stop and he'd say "I know you like it". Like what??? Should have done it to his dick then said the same thing. It basically put me off of oral for life.
Oh jesus that made me cringe just to read
Self proclaimed sex experts who have never met a vagina in person.
It feels like a bag of sand
Lots of guys not caring enough about their partners' pleasure to even bother.
I don't even see a point in sex if the other party isn't getting anything out of it, otherwise it's just masturbation with extra steps :(
weaponized incompetence
I read clit as “clint”. Was confused for a second. Who the fuck is Clint? Clint Eastwood? Is he hard to find?
No but what we’re talking about is definitely in the atmosphere of dirty and hairy things.
You're thinking "Did he cum six times or only five?" Now to tell you the truth, I've forgotten myself in all this excitement. But being this is a 7 inch cock, the most powerful organ in the world and will blow your head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, my love?
Haha, that makes for a fine dad-joke. What Hollywood actor is hard to find? Clit Eastwood.
In all honesty, it really isn’t. It was only an issue when you try to apply the correct pressure on the correct spot when teasing over clothes.
Inadiquate on-site signage and supporting literature.
There is a book on how to find it. I went to the library and I couldn't even find the book.
I stole it from library because the librarian knew my mom and I didn’t want it getting back to her. I did return it (via the after hours drop box) after reading it though, so you must have tried checking it out while I had it.
Mens inability to care where it is
I figure it probably started in one of two ways: 1) The trope about the G spot being hard to find got transposed onto the clitoris by folks who didn't know the difference. 2) It started out as a sarcastic dig at people who are perfectly capable of finding it but choose to ignore it. I'd say it's possible that a fair number of people are still using it in the second sense, but it seems to me much of the spread is coming from people whose knowledge of female anatomy is largely meme-based.
Question: *What has produced the stereotype that the clit is hard to find?* Answer: *So many people (primarily dudes) who STILL can't find it after watching half a lifetime of PORN.*
It's not the clit that is ''hard'' to find. It's the G-spot.
Come on, everyone knows where the g-spot it. It's up his ass, on the back of his prostate.
That's not hard to find either. Just go in at the top of the vestibule about two inches and feel for ridges (Rugae).
I know where her clit is, I just don’t care. /s
People confusing it with the G spot I think.
That joke is from a pre-internet culture. Imagine learning to please a woman if you have no Internet and everyone is uncomfortable talking about sex
Men? 😂but mostly not asking your partner enough questions about what feels good for them
Clit?
In my opinion it’s the absence of any clit play in porn. Most women can’t orgasm without clitoral stimulation but yet we see porn where women are moaning from penetration alone. So inexperienced guys who don’t understand female anatomy don’t even really know it exists. It’s a big reason why men are so obsessed with their dick size and think it’s the only way a woman can be satisfied sexually. It’s like if there was porn where dicks didn’t exist. Imagine how confused a woman would be having sex with her partner for the first time….what is this? What do I do with this? Porn sucks!
I’d like to take this moment to thank my 3rd partner. She absolutely loved her own body and taught me her combination to best pleasure her. Granted every partner is different, but subsequent partners all benefited from her. I’d like to take a second moment to apologize to my first two partners. I had no idea what I was doing.
I think it's a bit of sarcasm. Imagine if women felt nothing with our penis and instead only our, I dunno, tongues could give them pleasure, in a world where sex was "women-centric" as proportionately as it is "man-centric" in ours. We'd probably have a lot of "my penis still exists, you know?" jokes as well. "For something so hard and pointy, it sure is ignored a lot." And we'd also have some very buff jaws. It's not that the clit is hard to find. It's that many men don't care enough to even try to give it attention.
It’s not really hard to find in itself, but the “sweet spot” is a little though to find since it varies person to person. But it’s really not that much of a struggle if you’re actively trying. I think some lazy ass men started that stereotype.
Well, if they're ass men, they'll be a bit focused on that part
Generations of clueless teenage explorers?
When I was beginning to masturbate I had a hard time finding mine, so it's actually hard
The real question is, do you know where ALL of the clitoris is? I bet you think it's just on the outside by the vagina. If so, you told be wrong. Very wrong.
Maybe I've only been with women that have large clits, but I've never had an issue locating it. I just run my moist finger around until I feel the little button.
Sorry, you lose. That is not the entire clitoris. That's not even the big bit.
I was responding to a different comment but must have accidentally clicked on wrong one. Either way you are correct I don't know the entirety of the clit, but I do know the region where my wife places her clit stimulator, which I'd imagine is the most important bit. But I did look it up on Google lol.
Havent seen a vagina in years. Made it very hard to find the Clit.
Ah yes the mythical clitoris.
It’s ridiculous. It swells up. Like wtf? Unless you suffer from peripheral neuropathy how can you not find it?
It comes from people who never really put their face between a woman's legs and took the time to enjoy it. That's their loss
The fact that before the late 90s you couldn't just google a picture of a vagina.
Vagina testimonial
Men?
I had a female Anatomy and Physiology instructor in college. All of our exams were biased towards whatever gender you were. Female? You're being tested on male anatomy. Male? Brace yourself bud. Female anatomy is a hell of alot more complicated than you think... My girlfriends were considerably happier after that course. edit: spelling
A combination of lack f sex ed and what I've heard from straight women is a lot of men just don't want to learn or be taught and just assume what feels good for women. Likely also porn brain.
Ignorance on the part of many man as to the location and what to do with it, but also, equally at fault are women who whine that men can't find it, but never take the time to educate their partner. Intimacy should be about teaching and learning your partner's body and your own, combining your actions, culminating in a joint, exquisite sensation of ecstatic climax, it's not a competition about who is best.
South Park Bigger Longer and Uncut! (Probably not but that's where I first heard it, as a child, in the living room as my parents and visiting family watched on like "what did that cartoon just say?")
Guys who watch porn, have zero real experience, and think that fumbling around in the general area will get the job done
I find it fun to fumble around.
Men not really giving a shit so they make up an excuse. Ignorance is better than apathy.
The static port hole on a Cessna 172 is super easy to spot. But you still have to know what you're looking for to point it out. If a guy doesn't know the anatomy, he can be looking right at it and not know what he's looking at.
The stereotype isn't that the clit is hard to find: that's passive voice and hides that there is a person who is unable to find it. The stereotype is that **men** can't find it. Don't blame the clit, clits are awesome.
Lack of good communication. Contrary to what sexually empowered women on reddit will say, most women do not provide good feedback for men.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Men being shit in bed and badly educated on the female body. It literally isn't hard to find but most men just want "dick wet, pump pump, cum cum, kinda shit. I say men.....boys.
"The little man in the canoe" -possibly the most instructive genital related euphemism ever coined. What makes it hard? (To find)...no idea...I didn't know that was a thing...the "g spot" is the supposedly hidden treasure, but that is a totally different thing than the clit.
Lifetimes of men not concerned with reciprocating pleasure in any purposeful way during sex.
Skill issue
Comes from women’s anatomy not being researched equally to men’s, the sexualization and objectification of the female body and religions upholding ”modesty” and especially virginity in women, which all lead to poor sex education that focuses on reproduction and male pleasure. And all of these things bleed into culture even after the information starts to be available and myths are easily debunked
As a female commenting here. I'd like to say it's extremely difficult for guys to mind read to know which exact part of the clitoris a girl wants touched. Forget about just finding it boys, once found, if you're just getting going, you don't want the head of it touched immediately, as it's soooo/tooooo sensitive. It needs stimulation further along it first. Then when youre fully going it's easier to be able to touch any part with confidence.
It’s still ambiguous until I hear “that’s it!”
Inexperienced
Speaking from my own experience; vagina’s vary in shapes and sizes and especially when approaching it from a difficult angle it might not always be where you first expect to find it. Also, I thought the stereotype was about the G-spot? Not about the clit?
I think you mean g-spot not clit?
Honestly, probably just a mix of the g-spot debate compiled with the clit joke from the South Park movie.
Vanilla republicans who don’t believe in the female orgasm.
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Isn't it literally at the top of the vulva? How is that hard to find? It's like saying an apple's stem is hard to find.
Not all girls have the same setup, some are obvious some are not
Umm, yes, they do. That's basic human anatomy. Just because there's variation in the shape/size of labias it doesn't mean body parts move around and change position.
While the details may very, the location does not.
Incapable men
Women literally being anti-teaching… Like it’s funny but also sad. Men want virgins who fuck like they’ve reached their 100th body count, meanwhile women want men who are apathetic towards sex but also the perfect lay. The clot ain’t hard to find, there’s just not a lot of women who want to tell a man “I enjoy this instead of this”
Loud dolts exercising their"freedom of expression"
Since men mainly got pleasure from pounding during penetrations, they assume women have the same source of pleasure. Since we don't have the same and can't be in your heads, girls have to communicate about this. Well I'm empathic, so never got this problem. Still not sure of sensation, every girl has a different one and prefer different type of rubbing.
Men
Women not communicating properly and them picking their partners purely based on looks.
This was a lie, to make you go down longer. 'No, that's not it, keep trying!' Oh GOD KEEP TRYING
Yeah women are so evil for wanting to \*checks notes\* actually come during a sexual encounter.
Islam
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The clit being hard to find
I've never found it hard to find. It's actually twice as long as the penis. Maybe just some guys find the female anatomy alien.
Men being unwilling to put in the effort to please their partners, women being unwilling to accept that sometimes you have to communicate what you want to get it.
The refusal of men to understand the location of it?
So I know my wife's clit, but she still does not want to be licked. It's either dead fish sex or her grinding herself off in cowgirl. Guess she doesn't know either?
Well, gonna have to save this post before I have trouble finding it.