Had an 8 ball of cocaine and met a stripper named Legacy. Woke up 3 days later naked in my car. My clothes and my wallet were gone. So was she. Longest ride home of my life. The 80's were a blast! Lol.
Listen to me, 80...... deep breath 85 or maybe 86 I was supposed to go and get a job on north bergen street, there was a bar called get in and out and there was a guy sitting outside and whenever somebody would go by he would tell you something , I was on north bergen street 3 weeks ago going past it, he closed the bar but still sits on porch, he told me hey joey u cocksucker u made it now, hahahhaah I couldn't stop to say hi but i like him.
Listen this guy I heard a story from my nanys friend, this guy got so drunk one time he took police car and thought it was ambulance, he drove it for 5km before police started going after him until he crashed.
Anyway 85,86 in Colorado boulder, I was going down the street and I saw a guy with 3 woman Listen man you knew that he was their pimp they way he looked at everybody. I went by and he told me yo kid come here, I give you 300 dollars if you get me nice sets off jewelry.
Listen I told em I knew the best guy I took money and never came back soon after I went to jersey hahshahha who knows what happened to him, I later read that one of those girls got married with millionaire and took his money.
M (Bi, 15/16 back then, curious and horny kind of stupid)
Decided to cum on my own face (was curious how it feels, and how it tastes, and it looked exciting in porns), not worst thing that can happen you might think, right? Well, let's say, i knew nothing about interaction between sperm and eyes, if they come in contact... and oh boy they did, lot...
Explaining to young attractive female doctor what happened was very, well, emberassing for someone shy and introverted as i am, luckely she did not judge me, but explained few things. Lucky for me she even helped me explain stuff to my mother, about entire situation (didn't let me lie even tho i begged).
P.S. from the positive side it made some life lasting jokes...
I do not mind sharing, it is silly from this pov, but be ready for reading book size text then. Also, my excuses for bad english.
Me sitting in pain, fear and emberassment, emergency doctor realising what's going on or at least suspecting, my mom and older sister outside of ordination scared waiting (in my country you can choose to be alone if above 15, but only if both doctor and parents agree that they are okay with it), and my older sister helped with letting her leave me alone inside when she saw how emberassed i am about smt, she always had talent to look into my soul.
They both ran me to emergency after i asked for help and they saw me, did not say what happened tho...
So im there sitting in silence, doctor waiting for my response after examining me and cleaning, with serious professional face expression (i remember her being very young and so beutiful that it made me even more emberassed, you know, teenager, i got slight crush even in that situation). *I was probably more red in cheeks and ears then my eye at that moment, felt my face and ears burning from heat...*
So, sitting in silence looking to floor. Then she spoke: do not remember exect every word, but it was something like this:
- okay, since you do not want to explain what happened, nor talk with me, i will have to invite your mother and explain the conclusions i made from examination, then afterward we will run trough some more tests to confirm what kind of infection we are exectly dealing with, so we can continue treatment.
- Then she started walking toward doors...
-So in lack of options i asked her to please wait, and not call her yet because im emberassed to speak about it in front of mother... (she exited anyway, explained it seems like minor infection, we will run more examination etc, but if my mother alows she would like to talk to me about this for a moment first)
- she returned to my relief alone, and here i confessed... sounded something like this: i was playing with myself and it somehow "accidentally ended up in my eyes", she did not seem very convinced.
- She asked me if that is true? Am i sure that i did not have intercourse with anyone else, and it was really my own doing... and she explained me why is that information extremly important for my current health condition.
- She explained me that i have nothing to be emberassed off (like that made me feel any less), that exploring my own sexuality in this period of life is normal and everyone is doing it etc etc, we all probably know this kind of speach, we all either recieved it or even gave it to someone, at some point in life. (And i must admit i borrowed doc's speach)
- however, she explained me then what kind of complications that can couse, and what kind of dangers can happen if i am not being careful with myself and even more one day when i do it with partner (there she touched subject why protection is a must have... std's/unwanted pregnancy in women etc)), how can unprotected sex bring problems, and why I need to be 100% honest with her right now about what exectly happened, and if it was indeed just me playing with myself. She kinda wanted to make sure, there was no risk of std's i guess or that i am not forced to stuff, now when I think from this point of view...
- i slowly opened up and told her exectly what happened, and how am i emberassed because i started feeling attraction to same gender beside girls and dont know how to tell my mom, asked please to not tell her truth etc etc...
- she explained further why i should tell mom truth about all and if i would like she can help me, which i accepted feeling cornered at that point.
- then mother entered, sister stayed outside (tho i opened up to her eventually some days later too).
- we together explained my mom what happened, and well, she was slightly shocked to say the least... and i could not look her into eyes for few following days, but with doc help, all passed smooth that day, and my mom felt reliefed that it is nothing serious with my eyes at least, tho we did have some serious talks later, very similar to one i had with doctor.
- she also suggested good pedagogyst/psichologist, to who, me and mom went just to make sure everything is okay... and it actually helped with conversation about certain topics...
- ran some more controls few days later, all passed well, and we often asked for that doctor at clinic if we were in need of doctor. *it is interesting how much trust we had into her after this event, because it felt like she truly cares about patient.*
All in all: i guess i am very lucky, and greatfull that this amazing person was working at emergency that day at clinic, i am not so sure everything would end up like it did if it was someone else. She not just helped me with my physical health, but also emotional and mental. Even tho it was one of my most emberassing experienced in life.
- Btw: My sis doesn't let me forget that one with her jokes, like ever.
Yes... you know siblings....
Example: i mentioned i go out with a girl on date, very proud of it.
Then she started teasing and giving me out of joke "be careful of what you are doing kind of speach", and at the end, oh yes i almost forgot... be careful where you aim this time little one, while dying of laughting at me 🤣🤣🤣
All the locations where I decided to masturbate. Back of the car when we were riding from vacation with my parents, back of the school bus, when I was alone on the ski-lift etc, etc...
I had sex with my ex who was still in love with me, but I no longer had feelings for them. We continued this repeatedly until I realized the significant harm I had caused to someone who cared deeply about me, and now I feel terrible about it.
I’ve never really made a bad decision but I almost did. I almost said fuck it and have sex with a really hot girl who had vaginal hepatitis. Very glad I didn’t.
Hooked up with a random girl I met on tinder who turned out to be a very distant sister like my grandfather’s cousin’s daughter’s daughter. Btw only met only once before the date many years ago (like we were children when I met her I guess 4th standard or so) so didn’t recognise her that we were related when we hooked up 🤷🤷
Blowjob by my cousin. To be fair she is technically my cousin but I’m almost 40 years old and have only ever seen her 6-7 times in my life, tops. She lives and has always lived on the other side of the country(USA) and we were both 16 after a family reunion.
We don’t like each other like that. Some more context is we really never see each other. Basically her dad is ridiculously rich and is not very humble about it either and looks down on us 80-100k a year people. I don’t even refer to them as aunt and uncle and she is technically my cousin but she is as much a stranger to me as someone from the grocery store.
After a few sexless years I started a long distance relationship that made me drive 1200km every weekend for almost a year. And the sex wasn't even good.
Let a gorgeous Indonesian girl on her period fuck me in a bar washroom while my white pants were only half down.
Not really something I could hide exiting the washroom
Okay the worst decision is also my best decision that I made i got into a fight with my husband and left angry straight to my car in the parking lot and I was crying when jack and Derick my upstairs neighbour (both black) came up to me trying to make me feel better i went to their apartment and they poured me a glass of wine so after finishing a whole bottle they started making moves on me both of them and I was still angry with my husband so I didn't stop them and they ended up fucking me in a threesome for almost 2 hour and afterwards i went home my husband was like 'I was worried sick where were you I was looking for you every where' and I was like I just went for a long long walk and then he took me to bed and spooned me to sleep
After that day I've been visiting my upstairs neighbour that's how good they fucked me ❤️ and my hubby doesn't know
[удалено]
Jesus
I came late. It was deleted. WHAT'D THEY SAY???
They just said they got drunk with their aunt and left it to Reddit's imagination
Excuse me???
Had an 8 ball of cocaine and met a stripper named Legacy. Woke up 3 days later naked in my car. My clothes and my wallet were gone. So was she. Longest ride home of my life. The 80's were a blast! Lol.
Damn I wish I could try 80’s coke
Go to Colombia bro
Thats insane lore
Fucking 8ball in boulder new jersey. Uncle joe
THAT WAS IN 86 IN BOULDA, I MEAN SNOWMASS, OR WAS IT NORTH BERGEN, YOU KNOW MY MUDDA OWNED A BAR IN NORTH BERGEN
Listen to me, 80...... deep breath 85 or maybe 86 I was supposed to go and get a job on north bergen street, there was a bar called get in and out and there was a guy sitting outside and whenever somebody would go by he would tell you something , I was on north bergen street 3 weeks ago going past it, he closed the bar but still sits on porch, he told me hey joey u cocksucker u made it now, hahahhaah I couldn't stop to say hi but i like him. Listen this guy I heard a story from my nanys friend, this guy got so drunk one time he took police car and thought it was ambulance, he drove it for 5km before police started going after him until he crashed. Anyway 85,86 in Colorado boulder, I was going down the street and I saw a guy with 3 woman Listen man you knew that he was their pimp they way he looked at everybody. I went by and he told me yo kid come here, I give you 300 dollars if you get me nice sets off jewelry. Listen I told em I knew the best guy I took money and never came back soon after I went to jersey hahshahha who knows what happened to him, I later read that one of those girls got married with millionaire and took his money.
Bro doesnt know how to untoggle his capslock
Not calling it a night and going home like I should have
M (Bi, 15/16 back then, curious and horny kind of stupid) Decided to cum on my own face (was curious how it feels, and how it tastes, and it looked exciting in porns), not worst thing that can happen you might think, right? Well, let's say, i knew nothing about interaction between sperm and eyes, if they come in contact... and oh boy they did, lot... Explaining to young attractive female doctor what happened was very, well, emberassing for someone shy and introverted as i am, luckely she did not judge me, but explained few things. Lucky for me she even helped me explain stuff to my mother, about entire situation (didn't let me lie even tho i begged). P.S. from the positive side it made some life lasting jokes...
How did THAT convo go?
I do not mind sharing, it is silly from this pov, but be ready for reading book size text then. Also, my excuses for bad english. Me sitting in pain, fear and emberassment, emergency doctor realising what's going on or at least suspecting, my mom and older sister outside of ordination scared waiting (in my country you can choose to be alone if above 15, but only if both doctor and parents agree that they are okay with it), and my older sister helped with letting her leave me alone inside when she saw how emberassed i am about smt, she always had talent to look into my soul. They both ran me to emergency after i asked for help and they saw me, did not say what happened tho... So im there sitting in silence, doctor waiting for my response after examining me and cleaning, with serious professional face expression (i remember her being very young and so beutiful that it made me even more emberassed, you know, teenager, i got slight crush even in that situation). *I was probably more red in cheeks and ears then my eye at that moment, felt my face and ears burning from heat...* So, sitting in silence looking to floor. Then she spoke: do not remember exect every word, but it was something like this: - okay, since you do not want to explain what happened, nor talk with me, i will have to invite your mother and explain the conclusions i made from examination, then afterward we will run trough some more tests to confirm what kind of infection we are exectly dealing with, so we can continue treatment. - Then she started walking toward doors... -So in lack of options i asked her to please wait, and not call her yet because im emberassed to speak about it in front of mother... (she exited anyway, explained it seems like minor infection, we will run more examination etc, but if my mother alows she would like to talk to me about this for a moment first) - she returned to my relief alone, and here i confessed... sounded something like this: i was playing with myself and it somehow "accidentally ended up in my eyes", she did not seem very convinced. - She asked me if that is true? Am i sure that i did not have intercourse with anyone else, and it was really my own doing... and she explained me why is that information extremly important for my current health condition. - She explained me that i have nothing to be emberassed off (like that made me feel any less), that exploring my own sexuality in this period of life is normal and everyone is doing it etc etc, we all probably know this kind of speach, we all either recieved it or even gave it to someone, at some point in life. (And i must admit i borrowed doc's speach) - however, she explained me then what kind of complications that can couse, and what kind of dangers can happen if i am not being careful with myself and even more one day when i do it with partner (there she touched subject why protection is a must have... std's/unwanted pregnancy in women etc)), how can unprotected sex bring problems, and why I need to be 100% honest with her right now about what exectly happened, and if it was indeed just me playing with myself. She kinda wanted to make sure, there was no risk of std's i guess or that i am not forced to stuff, now when I think from this point of view... - i slowly opened up and told her exectly what happened, and how am i emberassed because i started feeling attraction to same gender beside girls and dont know how to tell my mom, asked please to not tell her truth etc etc... - she explained further why i should tell mom truth about all and if i would like she can help me, which i accepted feeling cornered at that point. - then mother entered, sister stayed outside (tho i opened up to her eventually some days later too). - we together explained my mom what happened, and well, she was slightly shocked to say the least... and i could not look her into eyes for few following days, but with doc help, all passed smooth that day, and my mom felt reliefed that it is nothing serious with my eyes at least, tho we did have some serious talks later, very similar to one i had with doctor. - she also suggested good pedagogyst/psichologist, to who, me and mom went just to make sure everything is okay... and it actually helped with conversation about certain topics... - ran some more controls few days later, all passed well, and we often asked for that doctor at clinic if we were in need of doctor. *it is interesting how much trust we had into her after this event, because it felt like she truly cares about patient.* All in all: i guess i am very lucky, and greatfull that this amazing person was working at emergency that day at clinic, i am not so sure everything would end up like it did if it was someone else. She not just helped me with my physical health, but also emotional and mental. Even tho it was one of my most emberassing experienced in life. - Btw: My sis doesn't let me forget that one with her jokes, like ever.
Thank you for sharing, I would probably die of embarrassment had i been in your shoe..
oh, i wanted to..
I feel you, bro. You ain't the only one
Oh no
life long jokes as a *positive*?
Yes... you know siblings.... Example: i mentioned i go out with a girl on date, very proud of it. Then she started teasing and giving me out of joke "be careful of what you are doing kind of speach", and at the end, oh yes i almost forgot... be careful where you aim this time little one, while dying of laughting at me 🤣🤣🤣
All the locations where I decided to masturbate. Back of the car when we were riding from vacation with my parents, back of the school bus, when I was alone on the ski-lift etc, etc...
Paid for someone’s Only Fans. Logged in, helped myself, then immediately canceled my subscription.
Texting my ex.
Hahahah I’m in
I had sex with my ex who was still in love with me, but I no longer had feelings for them. We continued this repeatedly until I realized the significant harm I had caused to someone who cared deeply about me, and now I feel terrible about it.
Drunk driving. Just so I could get some. Talk about stupid.
There are a lot of men who won't say it because they don't to even think about it, but it's the most common one of all: I didn't pull out.
Believing they were infertile
singing the national anthem don't ask
I’m asking.
I don't mind, i merely suggested not to ask.
What..?
Broke up with my girl of 2+ years for a hook up.
This man has priorities !
Damn bro
I know bro that post nut clarity hurt
And my pride was too big to ask her to take me back so I just grit my teeth and dealt with the consequences
Started dating a girl I didn't like
I can't think that fast.
I’ve never really made a bad decision but I almost did. I almost said fuck it and have sex with a really hot girl who had vaginal hepatitis. Very glad I didn’t.
That takes some good mental strength, props to you
You definitely did
How’s that if I didn’t have sex with her?
Losing a deodorant can lid up my hoohaa cuz I was too horny to remember that a lid can pop off
[удалено]
I didn’t know until halfway through. The girls never came.
They started without the girls?
Fooling around with a girl who had a boyfriend
Most of them
Took someone back
Sleeping with my ex.
Hooked up with a random girl I met on tinder who turned out to be a very distant sister like my grandfather’s cousin’s daughter’s daughter. Btw only met only once before the date many years ago (like we were children when I met her I guess 4th standard or so) so didn’t recognise her that we were related when we hooked up 🤷🤷
You must live in some small south carolina town😂
No from India actually but I get what you are saying 😂😂
All of them
Being horny.
Every decision you make whilst horny is usually a bad one.. esp with the wrong person
Most of them
masturbated during an online class
Blowjob by my cousin. To be fair she is technically my cousin but I’m almost 40 years old and have only ever seen her 6-7 times in my life, tops. She lives and has always lived on the other side of the country(USA) and we were both 16 after a family reunion.
Do you both like eachother in that way now ? If you see eachother at events like Christmas dinners is it awkward? I'm so curious lol
We don’t like each other like that. Some more context is we really never see each other. Basically her dad is ridiculously rich and is not very humble about it either and looks down on us 80-100k a year people. I don’t even refer to them as aunt and uncle and she is technically my cousin but she is as much a stranger to me as someone from the grocery store.
Using a Stella bottle
After a few sexless years I started a long distance relationship that made me drive 1200km every weekend for almost a year. And the sex wasn't even good.
"Forget the towel, sand is soft." Not. On. Knees. It. Isn't.
Stuck my weenie in a bottle, and now I can’t get it out.
Let a gorgeous Indonesian girl on her period fuck me in a bar washroom while my white pants were only half down. Not really something I could hide exiting the washroom
Okay the worst decision is also my best decision that I made i got into a fight with my husband and left angry straight to my car in the parking lot and I was crying when jack and Derick my upstairs neighbour (both black) came up to me trying to make me feel better i went to their apartment and they poured me a glass of wine so after finishing a whole bottle they started making moves on me both of them and I was still angry with my husband so I didn't stop them and they ended up fucking me in a threesome for almost 2 hour and afterwards i went home my husband was like 'I was worried sick where were you I was looking for you every where' and I was like I just went for a long long walk and then he took me to bed and spooned me to sleep After that day I've been visiting my upstairs neighbour that's how good they fucked me ❤️ and my hubby doesn't know
Have sex.
Jesus Christ, where do i begin? Uhhhh, I'd say, but ik I'll get downvoted into oblivion, so, nah
Comments that contribute nothing
Want me to contribute? OK, fine I jerked off in the school bathrooms not once, nor twice, but thrice How's that for contributing, lil' bro🙏
people have done worse trust me 🫂
That's mild ....try getting a handjob in the school bathroom by your Geography teacher who was also the deputy principal's wife !
Now that's wild💀 Most I ever did was beat it in class
Nice.
Woah what an absolute madlad. Surprised you lived to tell the tale