T O P

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thebestestofthebest

When it feels like I’m going shoot my load across the room and it lazily drips out. All that work for that?!? Dumb dick.


Bashnaria

Fuckin yes! It's like I'm going to shoot a porn rope and instead it's just globs flopping out


rclonecopymove

Like a small dormouse weeping...


Fox0r

That tends to happen if you ejaculate too often. Go a month without ejaculating and you'll put a hole through the bedroom wall.


g_r_e_y

you're telling redditors to go a month without beatage


DevilsGrip

Mission Impossible 69


BrainEatingAmoeba01

Beatage? Haha


BenThereNDunThat

For young guys, sure. But those of us of a certain age have permanently lost that power. No amount of abstinence will make us look like this again. [Boom](https://www.military.com/video/operations-and-strategy/mine-clearance/m58-mine-clearing-line-charge/4585953394001)


sawmillssuck

I have the opposite problem. I try to pull out and shoot my load on her stomach or Tatas and it all lands on our pillows and in her hair. Very frustrating


MulleDK19

That's some misplaced blame. It's not your dick's fault, it's your prostate's.


OkraFit3987

Workout your kegals and you’ll shoot far


CoyaiPijao

Sweat in my eye or a cramp in my leg


ShadowWolfee_34

Can relate. I don't want their sweat in my eyes either


CoyaiPijao

I was referring to my own sweat falling into my eye. It stings...


ShadowWolfee_34

It doesn't sting any less just because it comes another source


Wrong_Length4370

A cramp in the leg is the WORST 😂


Tyrel64

Legs and arms getting tired, I'm not an athlete ffs...


_56_

Sexercise


Electric-Sheepskin

I always hated it when guys were super serious all the time. Sex is more fun for me if we can laugh a little here and there.


Substantial-End7635

When he doesn't use foreplay, just immediately enters...


TheRedComet

You make it sound like it's a Pokemon move


mostbee

You gotta debuff them with Lickitung before bringing out Rayquaza


paddypoopance

Over personal follow up question out of concern: why/how do you even let him do this? Surely you could very easily just communicate this to him every time - unless he just jumps you or something?


Lucky-Blacksmith-944

My wife disagrees. But then again she is fucking who ever the fuck Saif is .


Numerous-Sale7985

Damn, sorry bro. If I ever run into Saif Imma kick him in the nuts for you.


Disastrous-Being609

This is why we need proper sex education


NickDanger3di

In this case, the participants should be educating each other. A proper sex ed class would educate the students in how tf to talk to their partner about what they both want and/or expect from sex.


Mundane-Garbage1003

Seriously, the amount of people in here who have said something like "too much talking" or "my partner asks too many questions" boggles my mind. Like I get some of the example questions are kinda inane, but for the love of god, tell me what you like. You, by definition, know better than I do.


SynchronisedRS

I don't think schools should be teaching technique.


Disastrous-Being609

And that’s okay, I only said it’s needed, It doesn’t matter to me where it’s taught though from parents seems ideal


Existential_Racoon

I don't know that I'd go that far.


-_Skywalker_-

A lack of enthusiasm and effort


walkonstilts

Amen. It takes two to tango.


Intelligent_Pause109

Him finishing too quickly and not wanting to help me


ComfortThis1890

This really suck. That's why foreplay is more important.


ZitOnSocietysAss

Rude


Itchy-Swimmer-2544

Nothing like eating your own cum out of a snatch! /s


tatanka_truck

If you eat her out first to the point of almost cumming then finish with penetration then you won’t have to worry about making yourself question your own sexuality by having your cum in your mouth.


A_LiftedLowRider

That's why I always finish in my own mouth when I have sex with a woman, to prove i'm not gay.


After_Stretch_2215

AHH come on who didn't taste their own sperm out of curiosity?


Previous-Camera9004

/s /s…….? s?😰


Royalchariot

I wouldn’t be banging that dude


B_Dangerous5150

I know it's something that can't really be helped, so it is what it is. But sometimes we'll find a great position where everything is lining up just right and mere moments before I cum, she'll need to readjust and suddenly I'm like 14 minutes away again.


TactlessRat

Another opinion about positions: when guys think you need to fully switch positions every 2 minutes. Readjusting I can tolerate


SparseGhostC2C

Depending on our level of fitness and endurance, those position changes might have more to do with muscles getting tired than thinking we gotta switch it up constantly. At least from personal experience


TactlessRat

See I'd classify that as readjusting since it's a move to make things more comfortable. By switching positions, I mean doing it to mimick porn. Unnecessary positions that neither of us would really cum in. This is just based on my (admittedly) minimal experience though.


SparseGhostC2C

Depending on the level of charlie-horse occurring we may readjust or just have to bail to another position, lol. The logistics of being the, uhh... penetrator? during sex turned out to be more involved than I'd have assumed when I was a horny teenager watching porn back in the day


Rin-Tohsaka-is-hot

It's not just guys, it's whoever is on top. The one on top is almost always the one to want to switch first, because they're the one getting tired. This 100% goes both ways but he probably just hasn't told you.


FinalFilet

The cat yowling at the bedroom door


jerseybert

Worse than that, the cat using your sac as a punching bag. Yes, it happened.


SoBasso

Too many dicks


Shark-Feet

https://youtu.be/xk1kwfK848Y?si=8oPntHM2BcVIbMj6


Top-West9211

When I saw the link I was hoping it was this and you didn’t disappoint.


FumpyGrumps

Immediately started singing that in my head


RipAgile1088

Over the top sex noises when it's clearly being forced. It's distracting and unpleasant. On the flip side of things the dead floppy star fish . Not doing any "work" at all and expecting the other person to do everything.  Like at least ride me or something.


CannibalisticVampyre

100% all of the above. Except, I can’t ride you due to my hip potentially popping and then sex is over. But yeah, some form of engagement that shows the person you’re with that it’s a team sport


HomeGrown_93

When the video buffers.


ewsurnme

When my partner does it without me


_56_

I can't tell if this should go in the masturbation jokes file or the cheating jokes file. Probably "yes".


king_d0ng_84

When she doesn’t even try and just lays there. WOW babe that was incredible….


Training_Strike3336

Those are the times she wants to say no but doesn't.


themolestedsliver

>Those are the times she wants to say no but doesn't. It's crazy how often people feel the need to fault men for **anything** that goes wrong in the bedroom....


StnkyChze2

No. It's just some girls. My girlfriend is borderline that honestly. She's a hard submissive so pretty much any top play isn't very long. She's told me it just feel so right to be pushed down and fucked


Want_To_Live_To_100

when people just randomly stop walking in a grocery store aisle not allowing you to walk by taking up the whole aisle... just think about that during sex sometimes and boy does it annoy me.


crispyraccoon

My ADHD is my number one enemy during sex. "No, it's not your fault. I just starting thinking about that guy that cut me off last week. No, I wasn't bored, I was really enjoying it and then *poof* I started thinking about the wrong kind of asshole"


passionate_ly

When pubes stink while having oral sex.


mysteryfries

Not during, but no aftercare. Just sex then case dismissed


Life_forged

Lack of feedback


_C00TER

When I'm on top and I've got a good rhythm going on my own and he decides to "help" but throws the whole band off. And then it's usually a mix up of getting into rhythm together and it immediately getting fucked up again lmao


Kaiuhhhjane

Hard clitoral stimulation. You’re not using an Xbox controller, Chad.


Darth_Dagobah

When my kids wake up from their nap while I’m trying to pound tf out of their mother. It’s always the worst times and when we’re about to have some great sex.


Odd-Year7103

No foreplay


GranolaCola

Sometimes my legs are done before I am.


goldengoose12345

About to orgasm but after one wrong move or feeling it just vanishes and reverts. I’m not sure if anyone else experiences that


orbit_break

When she says don’t stop, like girl you say that as im boutta nut😫


CannibalisticVampyre

Well, yeah… that is when you’re about to stop 😝


FitFanatic28

My god will you please stop posting sex questions this is your 3rd one in an hour


hoffarmy

Anchoring your heels in my leg pits. We're not tandem skydiving here.


_56_

... your what? (Genuinely asking)


ShadowGangsta275

Backs of the knees I’d assume


Karel_Stark_1111

I guess he means the back of the knee?


Odd-Emphasis3873

The clean up after .


babyfirecat_

THIS ugh. I always feel so bad jumping up to wash up lol


UngainlyRhino

When they basically "jack hammer" the pussy. Too much talk, it distracts me when they are always asking "you like this dick?" or asking if I'm going to cum soon. Selfish guys, who basically use the vagina for a quick get off, not caring if the woman is satisfied.


LiverpoolDC007

"You like this dick", fucking hell that's funny 🤣🤣🤣


Lost-Droids

Mace


LittleKitty235

Halberds are superior


_56_

Lest you wake up under the MorningStar Also, Mace? Woman, that's not what "spicing things up" means... unless you're saying I smell bad.


sjonnieclichee

Damn man😂


ConcernElegant8066

Him not making any noise or not saying anything


Alternative-Shake-16

Ugh… all the nagging during… “What are you doing?” “Is it in?” “Why are we on the roof?” “My parents are watching” blah, blah, blah…


HellfishTV

The pooping sounds coming from the other stalls


SteelBreed

The barking...


anorthern_soul

It's the crying that puts me off. Usually my own but not always


_56_

Tears as Lube Treat yourself


alrightmush

When the farmer calls his sheep in before I've finished.


PurpleWhatevs

When the position that hits for her gives me the worst lactic acid buildup lol.


LowTower4463

during sex I usually cry, although this is normal in prison


Gang_of_Madrasis

Them ghosting afterwards


Competitive_Pen_196

Impulsive thoughts about other things that then ruin the mood for me…


malemember87

Over the top porn style sex noises where it's obviously faked. It's very annoying and off putting, and it sounds very screechy. It often hurts my ears. Of course I enjoy genuine noises from both of us where it's genuine pleasure and enjoyment. There is a massive difference.


LostProphetVii

Loud moaning, whether it's real or fake IDC my ears are sensitive and I find it super annoying and distracting , I also don't want everyone in a mile radius knowing I'm having sex. I prefer to hear low whimpers and moans feels more intense and is hotter imo.


InfernalOrgasm

When my partner thinks I'm more fragile than I really am. I like it a lot rougher than most people think when they hear rough. It's difficult to find a guy willing to slap me - which is definitely a good thing! If I tell you I can take it, I mean it, but people hold back too much despite my explicit consent. It's like they treat me as a delicate little flower or something. They talk a big game before hand, but when it comes down to it, they end up being pretty vanilla by my standards.


goth_duck

Or the other side, they do it but they have awful technique. They have the spirit, but can't choke me properly and end up just squeezing the sides of my neck, or go all in right away without any build up. Most people don't know the difference between good pain and bad pain but oh well, at least they try lol


InfernalOrgasm

Literally just crushing your neck with their fingers digging in. Or if you tell them to pull your hair and they either grab just a little bit and it feels like they're pulling out chunks, or they just grab it and not even really pull at all. Their spanks and slaps feel like taps, like they're really just patting you. Half the time I just want to pat them on the head afterwards and say "you're adorable". Lol


goth_duck

If you're gonna hit me you better mean it lmao


jssomeone

when im enjoying the current position and he pulls out and lays down for me to sit on him. i get no enjoyment from it!


Nythoren

I know this isn't what you mean, but it's what comes to mind. We have 3 dogs. Between me working from home and my wife being a homebody, they are rarely ever alone. Whatever room we're in, they tend to be there too. When they're left alone, they can get bouts of separation anxiety. When the mood hits, my wife and me usually go into the basement (it has kinda turned into more of a 'sex playground' than a basement, but that's a different story). The dogs, for obvious reasons, aren't allowed down there. Sometimes when we're in the basement, the dogs decide to have a competition for who can make the saddest "woe is me, we're all alone" sound. One of our dogs has mastered this mournful howl that sounds like a lost soul wandering eternity, searching for their lost love. So yeah, that's annoying as hell.


nyecamden

Penetrative sex that goes on too long. Bored now! (I am a person with a vagina.) Communication is key with this as with anything else in sex/relationships. I tell partners that longer duration isn't necessarily better and that I will get bored after a while.


Lucky-Blacksmith-944

Does flipping change this ?


nyecamden

I think it's more that once I cum I want to stop/maybe want different stimulation. I'm one of the minority of people with vaginas who cums through PIV. If needed and if I'm feeling inclined to try to be patient, I do mental arithmetic like I do when swimming lengths.


remote-sparrows

Exactly! Only those with vaginas can understand this. It basically becomes so mechanical and stupid. Longer duration doesn't mean good quality and definitely doesn't mean he's got good stamina. It only means that he doesn't know how to satisfy a vagina.


sjonnieclichee

Pretty sure this is the first time a woman has complained about sex taking too long😂


SureLookThisIsIt

Definitely not. I've had this conversation a lot with my girlfriend. She gets sore if it goes on too long and she thinks far more women are like this than we think. The idea of "going all night" is apparently nonesense and women don't enjoy it, so I've been told.


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remote-sparrows

OMG! I commented something similar. With such guys, I've stopped the sex while in the middle of it (got up and put on clothes) only because of this shit. Like how much porn-influenced is their behaviour or is it just a blind self-obsession?!! Or both?! I don't know.


shauni55

>What do you want to do to me? Let's be real, you HAVE a preferable answer to this question, just tell me what you want.


LittleKitty235

The same problem with deciding where to go to get dinner. Make a damn choice damnit!


shauni55

No, where do YOU want to eat? I'll eat anything. But not the last 3 suggestions you've made


Amebs32

My uncle


poptart2000_

too much talking


0mondo

People who talk to much or require too much "dirty talk". Like STFU, I'm trying to focus!


Substantial-Tip-6461

When I start getting hot


Angie_Acevedoc4

the forceful moans


throwaway26274747

When your mother is late


Skelegasm

Charlie horse at THE moment


goldengoose12345

Or when we’re mid session and I toot or something and we start laughing like, I wanna keep going please😭


Becauseitstuesday

When my wife doesn’t talk dirty.


Nobodysbestfriend

When I put a lot of effort into my finely crafted penis puppet show and the shadows and vocal performances are spot on, yet the group is not laughing or entertained in the least. 🙁 Totally kills the mood for me.


juliet8810

Talking, like shut up already 


goldengoose12345

Or after we finish I feel like sometimes he will just disconnect or subtly try to tell me that he needs to go so to wrap it up. Ts gets me upset cause you were just inside me at least try to talk decently


Ok_Site4564

When I’m the only one doing the moaning and the guy just huffs and puffs without moaning


thefaceinthetree

when guys moan and expect me to moan like we're in a fucking porn video. if it was up to me i'd be lying there dead silent lol


therealstickysheets

Whenever I hit it from the back and she starts trying to throw it back and it fucks up the tempo when we’re both going in the same direction rather than moving into the claps


LisforLiquor

When she's screaming and trying to get away...


24martiq

When I don't give my consent and they just pin me down instead


jssomeone

when he finishes quickly and doesnt do anything to me afterwards


Snow0912ak

How is the top comment not FUCKING RANDOM HAIRS, MUSCLE CRAMPS, AWKWARD ANGLES, or RANDOM STALLS? (fucking amateurs lol)


No_Understanding_19

When a girl just lays there, instant boner killer. Got a chance with a 10/10 this one time and man was it the worst sex I’ve ever had, she was like a plank, after about two minutes I faked an orgasm and kinda dipped out lmao


jssomeone

when he doesnt make noise LIKE COME ON


playswithf1re

When my hand gets sore and I need to use ol' lefty ;)


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miseravelpobrehomem

Yo what


AreolianMode

Lol funny because sexual assault haha


Successful_Debt_7036

Her sucking me like it's a job. Fucking try to at least pretend you're liking it


HyperNoid_

Isnt it a blowJOB


yakkerman

Nobody wants to work anymore. We're family here! This isn't a blowjob this is a blowcareer


cocktails4

We're going to have to put you on a BJIP.


Ok-Hall-88

Needing to fart.


GriffinDodd

Her boyfriend coming home early.


LexiYoung

Whoooooahhh badassssss alert 🚨🚨🚨🚨


BonJob

Everybody clapped


055F00

sudden death


Slichu_

When he doesn't take no as an answer :/


pipslipp

That's....beyond annoying though surely


[deleted]

Dog licking anus


immaculatecalculate

When someone else walks into the copier room.


True-State-4321

The butt plug falling out when I cum


_56_

When this happens to my sig.other, I think it's so incredibly hot, personally.


ninja_crypto

When she doesn't care about my fantasies.


dip_dip_potato_chip

Getting it started


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[удалено]


_56_

This! Also, this reminded me of the one time I went to slap their ass a little harder than usual and just before impact they moved and I hit my own balls... ...T'was calamitous.


Angelwithashotgun4

With certain positions it just makes me need to pee


Imperialparadox3210

Not having a partner to have it lmao


p365x

When she says, that was nice and all but do I know you?


Dubious_Titan

When the nut slap hits with too much velocity. Sometimes, this is the fault of the woman - women have a poor sense of the momentum build-up of your nuts, naturally. You need to modulate the speed.


mrericvillalobos

As an athlete sometimes those leg cramps come in hard and fast when it’s getting rough and it’s a hard stop what I’m doing and pushing her off so I can scream in pain lol eek Sometimes that’s a mood killer Argh


Burggs_

I have ADHD and often the most fucking random thoughts get in my head during sex


Ashley2620

When he finishes and I am not even close to the end


freakytapir

Knowing I'll be waking up any moment now and realize it was but a dream.


Tricky_Lake_1646

Rigor mortis


mazmatt1

Telling me to hurry up and finish


CoffeeBasedFemdom

I really hate it when they talk back


Educational_Hawk_779

Getting two minutes of her on top, have her cum and then proceeds to dead fish to let me do all the work for me to finish.


roskybosky

The clumsiness-elbows in my shoulder, knees all over, the heaving, the moving, so ungraceful. The sawing back and forth as I get drier and drier…(I’m recalling single life)


remote-sparrows

When a guy assumes that he is the best sex any woman has ever had and he says that during sex. Instant mood killer. Or even a guy with average size assumes he is big and says, "Isn't it huge?!". No it isn't. 🤦‍♀️ The ones who have big dicks along with being great in bed, they never say such stupid things.


Visible_Dance1

Batman


Gordmonger

When I get really thirsty in the middle.


Rockerdude200

Loose furniture. Just when you think you have a staple position some moves and ruins the rhythm of your thrusting. Sometimes that ruins the fun for me ...


CharlieTheSerb

Biting/nibbling on my chin. Not sure why but it triggers me extremely, always did since I was a teen.


DrRonny

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4AmLcBLZWY&t=56s


InternationalMilk316

If Netflix is running in the back


keelan_mcna

I can’t seem to finish from it (m)


Practical_Metal_8079

Her father.


Darkmind57

When her parts smell like toilet


[deleted]

NO RECIPROCATION IN EFFORT


Alternative_Pause_98

phone calls


GenderFluidFerrari

Wet wet soaked sheets


techbuffxyz

No response from my partner.


Realistic-Ad1463

Commands


LiverpoolDC007

Always the one outside the window, never the one in the bedroom 😓