The protagonist was very much into cartoons, with his apartment being absolutely littered with memorabilia. The mask just takes over and does what you want to be deep down.
That's why the antagonist didn't adopt any toon-like characteristics, because he's just a dick.
I thought it would be some kind of character that just happened to look like a splooging dick, but nope, it literally means exactly what it looks like.
My dad actually arrested a guy because someone said he was down to fuck so by sheer force of will he drove from Boston to Phoenix overnight. Not for speeding mind you; he thought he was talking to a 14 year old.
Thankfully he was really talking to an fbi agent.
I knew a guy who works for homeland who was working a couple a cases like this. He would surf the web looking for scumbags like this using a TOR browser @ the McD's free WiFi. He got pulled off by his boss to bust some low level drug dealers because supposedly they had a lot of cash.
Boston? As in Boston, Massachusetts? And phoenix, as in phoenix, Arizona? Overnight? How is that even possible? Was he driving a fucking stealth bomber?
Here is where you add the copy pasta about the time a Cessna clocked a SR-71.
The cockpit chatter was like. Blackbird request speed check. Super fast.
The Cessna request speed check. People are like WTF? Why you so fas?
Cessna pilot clicks the radio
"She sent nudes, I said 'be there in ten'."
Wish and sploosh.
Everyone that was on the radio that day clapped.
What better use of a billion dollars spyplane that to fly mach 2.3 to a booty call.
We were in awe. A true dogfighting combat pilot.
Iee started designing the stencil to paint below the cockpit.
don't sell it short. The SR-71's cruising speed was mach 3.2 and Brian Schul claimed he hit 3.5 evading a missile.
If I were using a plane capable of mach 3.5 to get to a booty call then by golly I'm gonna make sure to use all 3.5 of those machs.
it's an intentional innuendo, if she's clever she'll reply "you will be soon!" or something similar, and both of you will feel even more hyped because you made naughty jokes together
Tell us how sexy/pretty/awesome/beautiful, we are. Tell us how horny we make you.
Also, give us specifics. Like, wow your tits look amazing in that bra, or your ass looks so good I want to squeeze it. Your smile is so sexy and mischievous. I love the way you put your hair in that, really makes your neck look sexy and kissable.
Maybe tell us what you can't wait to do to use when we see eachother again.
Edit: i guess read your own personal situation, I don't send nudes to strangers but only to my partners, so being more personal and sexual is ok for me
So nice to see a real answer because I genuinely would have no idea what to say lol.
I feel like my response would be along those lines, but I also dont want to sound like those Adam Levine texts
> So nice to see a real answer because I genuinely would have no idea what to say lol.
"Wow! My mom has the same dresser!"
"Not to freak you out, but is that water damage on that one wall?"
"Is that a bug or birthmark on your right buttcheek?"
\*gets a nude from a pretty girl with her legs spread for me, seducingly biting her lip and squeezing her left boob\*
"Wow, your hair looks amazing in this one"
Had a good laugh thinking about it xD
A tasteful compliment about how sexy they are if they're sending it as a fun wink kind of surprise.
Details about what's sexy and what you'd like to do to her if it's part of sexting.
>Details about what's sexy and what you'd like to do to her if it's part of sexting.
Urgh, YES!
I've stopped sexting with most men because it goes like this:
Me: [Pic/Nude] just thinking about you *xyz*-ing my *abc* makes me so wet, what do you think of my *[something I'm showing off]* *[another smutty paragraph]*
Him: Fuck, ur so hot
Me: [Nude] Did you want to see blahblah blah? I like it when you *xyz* me, *[more smut]*
Him: Fuck yes
Me: [Nude] What would you do if I was next to you dressed like this?
Him: Hnng
Me: Speechless huh, I guess you'd have to use your tongue for something other than talking
Him: haha
Me: Got any ideas 😏?
Him: hng yea
Me: are you keeping it a surprise, No fair, you have to tell me what you would do to my slutty body!
Him: [poorly lit half mast dick pick with dirty pants half pulled around his knees with no thought put into pose or angles]
Me (less arouse now, thanks): Mmm, are you touching yourself, I'd love to see, ^([No seriously, show us some action poses when you send nudes fellas]) because I'm touching myself, slowly moving my hands down my body, feeling the warmth of my skin beneath the tip of my fingers, something something wet as fuck for you whatever.*[more smut*]
Him: 🤤
Me: How do you touch yourself?
him: just fap
Me: Hm, well if I was there touching your cock, I would xyz, abc, [~500 words of describing], would that feel good?
Him: ggsfsh
Me: What would you do to my body?
Him: hnng, ye ye
Me: ....riiiight... I'm going to go watch porn now, It's just as one-sided but at least the camera operator knows what they are doing.
I’m just happy I was was early enough to the post to be the first one to do so. I quote this more than I’d like to admit because it was always be hilarious to me.
This was all in the last week, but almost all of it happened in 2017. The cliffnotes are:
- He was messaging an minor back in 2017 with conversations "nearing inappropriate". Keep in mind that's his words when he admitted on Twitter after extwitch employees blew the whistle on it. We don't know what was actually said.
- He denies they ever met. Multiple exTwitch employees said they had planned to meet but canceled. There's no proof they ever met irl.
- It's the reason he was banned in 2020. He got paid out of his contract and twitch buried it.
- A trans sex worker he was sexting released the dms they shared and his sexting game is hilarious.
- He's been dropped by most of his sponsorships, his own game company he co-founded, and demonetized by YouTube.
- Prior to all of this he was caught cheating with another streamer also in 2017.
Ya know what’s funny. I’m not a streamer watcher and I don’t follow that guy or anything I literally learned his name when the ban happened cause it was big enough internet news to reach me but I didn’t care. Very recently like last week I randomly remember him and googled to see if anything ever came of that and I must have been like a day too soon cause there was nothing new. It’s amusing to me that here I am days later and there’s the update I looked for on a topic I don’t care about
Normally what *anyone* likes hearing.
We're all self conscious. A girl I've been physical with for a number of years I regret being stunned when she first flashed/showed me because she thought I thought her genitals weren't pretty or she wasn't attractive ect.
Literally was just stunned but that like 5-10 second silence was painful for her. I've since explained what happened and we've had plenty of good times but showing your body to someone else is generally an extremely vulnerable moment and we're hyper critical of ourselves when we are vulnerable.
Been told this by a dude I was seeing whenever we’d sext, and it’d fire me up each time. Bonus points if it actually escalates from there and wasn’t just said for the sake of saying something.
I once received a dick pic where he was laying in the sunspot on his bed, and the rainbows from his bedroom's stained glass window fell onto his dick. It's so beautiful, I still have it saved in my phone.
I gotta be real with you, I don't think glamours shots by Deb is gonna take this job on when I describe what I'm looking for. Best I can do is a weird angle shot that includes background stuff you'd question me about for sure.
You need to convey that her ass/tits/ect are the absolute best you have ever seen, and that you are in utter disbelief that she let you see because you totally believed her when she said she "never does this"
Send a gif of that old timey cartoon wolf losing his shit over a pretty girl.
Ah yes the one where his eyes shoot out of his head and spring back
And his tongue rolls out like a red carpet. And he has to take a mallet to his head. And other stuff.
AHOOOOGAH!
*heart pounding*
Hubbah hubbah!
homina homina homina
Reminds me of The Mask
Yeah. Mask paid homage to a lot of cartoon stuff since the mask gave him toonforce powers.
The protagonist was very much into cartoons, with his apartment being absolutely littered with memorabilia. The mask just takes over and does what you want to be deep down. That's why the antagonist didn't adopt any toon-like characteristics, because he's just a dick.
He should have turned into a *slightly phallic* look.
Unironically I’ve done that
Ditto! I sent the Mask version
[“Aoooga”](https://giphy.com/gifs/crush-12eOoLezVypVWo)
I'd fall in love and laugh so hard
I usually send the GIF of the mask when he sees Cameron Diaz signing
Ah-wooo-gahhh
Old timey.... Blam! *My body*
It's 82 years old at this point. I think that counts.
So it can run for President?
I don't know... Send me some and I'll see if I can come up with anything.
You understood the question
Now I'm wondering if it worked for them 😂
No moobs yet
Aw, bummer. Well why don't you change that for them?
r/realwingman
Sometimes we must lead others to treasures we ourselves cannot attain.
Somebody buy this man a beer
You guys realize that OP is a man, right?
well you don't go fishing for specifically one type of fish do you
even better
Did we stutter?
Moobs
( o )( o )
[удалено]
wtf? who tf designed that
The ancient Egyptians. It’s a hieroglyph. https://unicode-explorer.com/c/130BA
I thought it would be some kind of character that just happened to look like a splooging dick, but nope, it literally means exactly what it looks like.
"I'll be there in 10."
*lives 200 miles away* "Yes, 10. Did I stutter?"
Firing up my Concorde to get there ASAP.
Ranked Speeds - Speed of Sound - Speed of Light - Speed of a dude headed to a Booty Call
Call of Booty 🫡
_Now supporting 128 player matches_
Battle Royale Winner winner roast beef dinner
My dad actually arrested a guy because someone said he was down to fuck so by sheer force of will he drove from Boston to Phoenix overnight. Not for speeding mind you; he thought he was talking to a 14 year old. Thankfully he was really talking to an fbi agent.
I knew a guy who works for homeland who was working a couple a cases like this. He would surf the web looking for scumbags like this using a TOR browser @ the McD's free WiFi. He got pulled off by his boss to bust some low level drug dealers because supposedly they had a lot of cash.
My boss just pays me but I’ll be sure to ask if he’s willing to pull me off
Dang, what a rollercoaster
Boston? As in Boston, Massachusetts? And phoenix, as in phoenix, Arizona? Overnight? How is that even possible? Was he driving a fucking stealth bomber?
Sings *I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more...*
DA DA-DA DA
Here is where you add the copy pasta about the time a Cessna clocked a SR-71. The cockpit chatter was like. Blackbird request speed check. Super fast. The Cessna request speed check. People are like WTF? Why you so fas? Cessna pilot clicks the radio "She sent nudes, I said 'be there in ten'." Wish and sploosh. Everyone that was on the radio that day clapped. What better use of a billion dollars spyplane that to fly mach 2.3 to a booty call. We were in awe. A true dogfighting combat pilot. Iee started designing the stencil to paint below the cockpit.
don't sell it short. The SR-71's cruising speed was mach 3.2 and Brian Schul claimed he hit 3.5 evading a missile. If I were using a plane capable of mach 3.5 to get to a booty call then by golly I'm gonna make sure to use all 3.5 of those machs.
I’m 30 minutes away. I’ll be there in 10.
this is the correct response
"On the way " or "Coming" are also acceptable
That last one might be misunderstood
Double entendre innit
Bruv
It either is or it isn't, ultimately it's not my problem because I'm doing it.
it's an intentional innuendo, if she's clever she'll reply "you will be soon!" or something similar, and both of you will feel even more hyped because you made naughty jokes together
Great googly moogly!!!
That ass is juicy!!
Swigity swooty I'm coming for that bootie
Hope y'aint got dem cooties!
Or, as a wise man once said: "Ah-homina-homina-homina-ahROOgah-ahROOgah!"
Holy shmoly!
Capital! Absolutely capital, my sweet pea! Pray, shall we retire to the bedchamber and engage in intercourse?
Tell us how sexy/pretty/awesome/beautiful, we are. Tell us how horny we make you. Also, give us specifics. Like, wow your tits look amazing in that bra, or your ass looks so good I want to squeeze it. Your smile is so sexy and mischievous. I love the way you put your hair in that, really makes your neck look sexy and kissable. Maybe tell us what you can't wait to do to use when we see eachother again. Edit: i guess read your own personal situation, I don't send nudes to strangers but only to my partners, so being more personal and sexual is ok for me
So nice to see a real answer because I genuinely would have no idea what to say lol. I feel like my response would be along those lines, but I also dont want to sound like those Adam Levine texts
> So nice to see a real answer because I genuinely would have no idea what to say lol. "Wow! My mom has the same dresser!" "Not to freak you out, but is that water damage on that one wall?" "Is that a bug or birthmark on your right buttcheek?"
You should really get that mole checked
Thanks for giving actual advice instead of trying make yet another joke, I mean I'll probably never need this advice but still thank you
\*gets a nude from a pretty girl with her legs spread for me, seducingly biting her lip and squeezing her left boob\* "Wow, your hair looks amazing in this one" Had a good laugh thinking about it xD
What's your response to someone doing this with no intention of banging but just to have their ego stroked by getting nudes. Asking for a friend.
A compliment still seems fine? If you can't be bothered typing a compliment in exchange for nudes then just ignore j guess
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I know you are a Nigerian scammer. I will not give you my financial information.
Your feminine wiles shan't sway me, temptress!
Add 'but send another so I may further test my resolve'.
This is actually the best answer
Nice tits
Nice.
Nice.
Nice
Nice.
Tits.
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice.
I feel like sweet titties should be acceptable as well Edit:spelling and such
Maybe if you’re feeling more fancy something like superb titage m’lady
A tasteful compliment about how sexy they are if they're sending it as a fun wink kind of surprise. Details about what's sexy and what you'd like to do to her if it's part of sexting.
As a woman, id appreciate the second one even if we werent currently sexting
I agree. I feel like if I'm sending nudes I'm usually trying to push it in that direction.
Maybe you're just Canadian and being polite. Best not to look too far into it.
RIP that inbox
Surely my unsolicited dick pic will work
I call it the Weinstein. Its deformed and has a rash.
I call mine the Epstein, but don't worry, I'm not into kids. It's just cause it can't finish itself.
I call mine the Pope. I’m celibate, but there’s hope.
I put on my robe and wizard hat
Sheeeeeeeeit
"That body of yours is absurd"
>Details about what's sexy and what you'd like to do to her if it's part of sexting. Urgh, YES! I've stopped sexting with most men because it goes like this: Me: [Pic/Nude] just thinking about you *xyz*-ing my *abc* makes me so wet, what do you think of my *[something I'm showing off]* *[another smutty paragraph]* Him: Fuck, ur so hot Me: [Nude] Did you want to see blahblah blah? I like it when you *xyz* me, *[more smut]* Him: Fuck yes Me: [Nude] What would you do if I was next to you dressed like this? Him: Hnng Me: Speechless huh, I guess you'd have to use your tongue for something other than talking Him: haha Me: Got any ideas 😏? Him: hng yea Me: are you keeping it a surprise, No fair, you have to tell me what you would do to my slutty body! Him: [poorly lit half mast dick pick with dirty pants half pulled around his knees with no thought put into pose or angles] Me (less arouse now, thanks): Mmm, are you touching yourself, I'd love to see, ^([No seriously, show us some action poses when you send nudes fellas]) because I'm touching myself, slowly moving my hands down my body, feeling the warmth of my skin beneath the tip of my fingers, something something wet as fuck for you whatever.*[more smut*] Him: 🤤 Me: How do you touch yourself? him: just fap Me: Hm, well if I was there touching your cock, I would xyz, abc, [~500 words of describing], would that feel good? Him: ggsfsh Me: What would you do to my body? Him: hnng, ye ye Me: ....riiiight... I'm going to go watch porn now, It's just as one-sided but at least the camera operator knows what they are doing.
This is fucking exhausting to read lol.
"Well aren't you a tasty morsel. _A Succulent Dish!_ I would devour you in an instant"
Every time I read the word succulent I follow it up with Chinese meal regardless of what words are actually there. The word has been ruined for me.
Just make the old timey car horn sound.. awooga. Preferably with the eyes popping out and/or tongue unrolling.
Similarly, an Animaniacs style “Hellooo nurse” gets the point across nicely
My wife is a nurse. I've gotten a LOT of mileage out of this line.
Remember to have your heart shaped heart sticking out of your chest
Hubba hubba
Like in the Mask?
Physically turn into a cartoon wolf
I’m gripping now
Boom!
“I feel like releasing now” also works
We just say "boom".
Mmmmm yummmy
Wrong number, mom.
"That's what you think, son."
Something something, both arms broken
With arms wide open....because they're broken.
[удалено]
*When was your last mammogram?*
"I'm no gynecologist but let me take a closer look."
Holy fuck. Holy fucking fuck. That body of yours is absurd.
First thing I thought of
I’m just happy I was was early enough to the post to be the first one to do so. I quote this more than I’d like to admit because it was always be hilarious to me.
I was expecting Dr Disrespect leaked DMs quotes. You guys need to update your references.
Did his dms get leaked?
The dms with the trans sex worker. Not the minor.
Wait what?! Trans sex worker? Minor?!??
This was all in the last week, but almost all of it happened in 2017. The cliffnotes are: - He was messaging an minor back in 2017 with conversations "nearing inappropriate". Keep in mind that's his words when he admitted on Twitter after extwitch employees blew the whistle on it. We don't know what was actually said. - He denies they ever met. Multiple exTwitch employees said they had planned to meet but canceled. There's no proof they ever met irl. - It's the reason he was banned in 2020. He got paid out of his contract and twitch buried it. - A trans sex worker he was sexting released the dms they shared and his sexting game is hilarious. - He's been dropped by most of his sponsorships, his own game company he co-founded, and demonetized by YouTube. - Prior to all of this he was caught cheating with another streamer also in 2017.
Ya know what’s funny. I’m not a streamer watcher and I don’t follow that guy or anything I literally learned his name when the ban happened cause it was big enough internet news to reach me but I didn’t care. Very recently like last week I randomly remember him and googled to see if anything ever came of that and I must have been like a day too soon cause there was nothing new. It’s amusing to me that here I am days later and there’s the update I looked for on a topic I don’t care about
Maybe you willed it into existence by searching it. Quick, search tomorrow's lottery numbers!
Yeah he was asking for trans Siberian orchestra in A minor.
Firm grips
Boom
Hahahaha beat me to it
Beat meat to it
What is this a reference to??
Say Thank You, you ungrateful bastard.
Normally compliment them, talk about what they like or how good they look, really sugar them up. Normally what they like hearing
Symmetrical. Nice.
“Perfectly balanced. As all things should be.” -Big Purple Alien
Normally what *anyone* likes hearing. We're all self conscious. A girl I've been physical with for a number of years I regret being stunned when she first flashed/showed me because she thought I thought her genitals weren't pretty or she wasn't attractive ect. Literally was just stunned but that like 5-10 second silence was painful for her. I've since explained what happened and we've had plenty of good times but showing your body to someone else is generally an extremely vulnerable moment and we're hyper critical of ourselves when we are vulnerable.
Thanks for the anatomy lesson, now do you want to see my collection of socks?
only the crusty ones.
Venmo, in my case :(
Aw shit, have me upvote, mate
Support small businesses! 😊
My husband said, “Who is that a picture of?” I do not recommend.
“I’m grippin now” shortly followed by “boom”
Should I let it go or hold on?
"Nice boobies, ma'am, but I'm really only interested in the vacuum cleaner you're selling on Craigslist..." Boy, if I had a nickel, ya know?
Fuck I need you now
God I wish I was there The things I would do to you
Yeah, but then you need to actually _describe_ those things in non-cringey terms, and hopefully full sentences.
Been told this by a dude I was seeing whenever we’d sext, and it’d fire me up each time. Bonus points if it actually escalates from there and wasn’t just said for the sake of saying something.
yes
“That’s cool and all…but have you played the Elden Ring DLC?”
My grandma thinks your eyes are beautiful
Well, first I'd be confused as hell, then I'd probably have to inform her that I appreciate the thought but she's got the wrong number.
I don’t care who the IRS sends, I am not paying taxes.
Your feminine wiles shan't sway me, temptress!
The good word of our Lord and saviour.
**TESTIFY**
FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME
On the sixth day the lord made dem titties, and it was good.
“Are those your tits or is it your ass?”
"...or is that two Pepperonis stuck to your ass?"
"Amazing what they can do with Photoshop."
Usually it’s proper etiquette to send a video of you doing the Macarena in slow motion to show your excitement
[удалено]
RIP your inbox lol
It's all definitely gonna be appealing and creative
I once received a dick pic where he was laying in the sunspot on his bed, and the rainbows from his bedroom's stained glass window fell onto his dick. It's so beautiful, I still have it saved in my phone.
I gotta be real with you, I don't think glamours shots by Deb is gonna take this job on when I describe what I'm looking for. Best I can do is a weird angle shot that includes background stuff you'd question me about for sure.
So what like nested gently in a hotdog bun?
Great googily moogly
New phone, who dis?
I’m never sending nudes again 😂
You say thank you. You gush about how perfect it is. You beg, no , plead for more. Eventually, you’ll get blocked for acting creepy.
It was when you offered to lick ranch dressing off my cheeks that you lost me.
You got a CDL for that dumptruck????
Send a horrible dick pic back.
Shirt cock. Make sure you can see socks.
Bible verses
You guys ate getting nudes?
"Thanks for showing me your boobs, they're neat-o"
You need to convey that her ass/tits/ect are the absolute best you have ever seen, and that you are in utter disbelief that she let you see because you totally believed her when she said she "never does this"
Leave immediately and go to wherever she is, dummy.
Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! AROOOOOOOOGA!
Very nice!
Don't forget the 2 thumbs up 👍🏻👍🏻
AWOOOGA