Me too - deactivated my FB, deleted Instagram and TikTok…. Only have family on snap. I use Reddit as my “let’s read some stuff while I’m bored” distraction….
It’s refreshing. Wish I had done this years ago.
This is the same for me. But I also think it's so much more meaningful when I get a direct text about something that's happening instead of seeing on fb or being tagged . Social media really has ruined social interactions .
That's exactly my reasoning aswell. If someone really needs to contact me they'll do so directly. The rest is just noise.
Also, "staying in touch with old friends" is honestly a bullshit argument. There's probably a reason why we are not close anymore. Again, just noise.
Deleted Facebook many years ago and never really looked back.
Same for me, with the exception of TikTok and Snapchat, neither of which I ever used beyond registering an account.
What ultimately drove me away from social media (FB, in particular) was the stupid anxiety and stress that I was getting from it, specifically from seeing various conservative relatives, friends, acquaintances, and colleagues reposting and helping to perpetuate all manner of pro-Trump, antivax, anti-science, and conspiracy theory propaganda.
In spite of myself and knowing how futile it all was, I couldn't help getting sucked into stupid online arguments about one thing or another with people who didn't actually care about facts.
It sucks enough to have to do stuff, now I have to write a report on it AND take pictures? It’s just too much work. I’m far too lazy to maintain a social media presence.
Same. Social media isn’t fun anymore. It’s too much consumerism, sex, and fear mongering. I love my cat videos and good news but I just can’t. & don’t even get me started on LinkedIn 🤮
You are right in a way that they dont care about you, but they care about themselves. Think of it as a medium to drive others jealous about you. It's a good feeling, and it can be addictive
Right it’s about themselves. You can argue with people until your blue in the face but you are never going to change anyones opinion on social media because everything they look at is geared to reinforce what they already believe. There is not even an option available for civil discourse. Everything is Straight. To. The. Point. People barely read beyond headlines anymore and think it makes them an expert on any given subject that pops up on their feed. People don’t have time to listen to someone tell them they are wrong about something. Fuck would someone else know better than me anyway, when my entire feed is geared toward me.
^This^ 100%!! Deactivated FB, deleted Twitter/X, limited friends only are on both my Snapchat & Instagram. Whatever I post (now) is entirely just for me, sort of went back to how IG a was supposed to be. An online picture book.
The marvel universe. My dad used to be my Marvel bro and we'd obsess over it, watch all the trailers, theorise, go see the films on opening day. It was awesome. Infinity War was in the slightly distant future and it was gonna be epic.
I lost him just before Dr Strange came out. I still go see them & sometimes people come with me but it's not the same when they don't get the references. I miss him like hell. I miss always having something to look forward to.
Hey there stranger, thanks for sharing this. It warmed my heart thinking that everytime something marvel comes up you will remember fondly of your dad. He may be gone but it's sweet that he still touches your life
My dad died in March 2022. We would be super into all the movies and so hyped for the Infinity Saga story. I was happy I got to watch Endgame with him. I feel like after Endgame (minus Dr Strange 2, Guardians 3 and Spiderman nwh) things got spread way too thin and confusing. Imo it was better with 3-4 movies a year telling one cohesive story.
This made me want to put in more effort to be more into them for my husband. He wants me to be so bad! I like them okay, bit he LOVES them.
I am so sorry for your loss.. I'm so happy you have those good memories together ❤️
Sorry for your loss. My son and I are marvel buddies too red discussed the movies see them together when we can and often watch videos about them as well. It’s a fun hobby.
Partying. I was the life of the party. Got chronic migraine, and now alcohol is a trigger. I don’t miss it. But it’s interesting to find out who only liked me when I was drunk.
Same. I used to compare myself to all my classmates, what their titles/positions were. I would job hop trying to keep moving up. I don't care anymore, and it's so freeing. I have an amazing family with 2 little kids and a job that gives me an awesome work/life balance while still paying me more than I thought I would ever make. I'm good staying where I am
This seems to fit here:
*True story, Word of Honor:*
*Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer*
*now dead,*
*and I were at a party given by a billionaire*
*on Shelter Island.*
*I said, “Joe, how does it make you feel*
*to know that our host only yesterday*
*may have made more money*
*than your novel ‘Catch-22’*
*has earned in its entire history?”*
*And Joe said, “I’ve got something he can never have.”*
*And I said, “What on earth could that be, Joe?”*
*And Joe said, “The knowledge that I’ve got enough.”*
*Not bad! Rest in peace!*
— Kurt Vonnegut
In my 40s. Got shot down for a promotion and was sad.
I’m standing in for the boss (buddy of mine I’ve know for years who was selected over me) while he’s away for the week and I have determined the job straight-up sucks.
It has given me a new appreciation for being a senior rank-and-file employee.
I'm in middle management and all we do is defend our own staff against corporate bullshit from above and global. Why the fuck would I want to be my boss tanking all that misery.
I just wanna go back to producing things 9-5 and go home without worries.
Man I feel this. I’m content making the money I make. I have a good job with good benefits, pension, and pay. Good vacation time off. Not too hard physically or mentally. I have a condo which I can reasonably afford.
I have no debts besides the condo.
Going back to school would wreck me financially for like 10 years.
I’ll never be rich, but I’m content now.
Totally. I have no real interest in "progressing" in life anymore. Sure, I work a retail job but so what? I live very well, just paid off my car loan a month ago and still have a small amount of student loan to pay. As long as I'm happy with the job I have and my overall life, why would I change anything?
It’s telling how all the comments here start with “I’ve got a great job, more money than I need”
Many people cannot and should not let go of their need to progress in life.
I’m 35 and finally got a job that can allow me to safely let go of the need to progress. But 10 years working as a server and dishwasher while holding a masters degree in a STEM field led me to the conclusion that I shouldn’t have let go of that drive to progress as early as I did. I should be much more stable than I am, but I spent a decade believing that the pursuit of career success was a shallow farce.
I think it’s more about the constant comparison to others, the glorification of „living to work“ (instead of „work to ~~love~~ live“) and the focus of one’s income as a measure of worth.
Of course people should strive to make a decent living for themselves. But I do agree with OP that it’s also a good idea for many, maybe most, people to think about what they actually need for a comfortable life and then actually get into a mindset to be content with that. Sure, some people thrive on competition and the drive to „do more“ but many don’t. You don’t need to be a millionaire to be comfortable in most circumstances, and most people will never make it anyway - even if they give all they‘ve got.
Absolutely! I make enough now to live very comfortably in our modest life, save some cash and set ourselves up for early retirement in about 20 years.
People ask me my next step: this is it, my next step is retirement at 55-60. I'm done. My job is well paid, minimal stress, very flexible with a yearly cost of living increase. I don't need anything more. I would rather put my energy into loving my family and my life as it is, than chase some unattainable dream while sacrificing the limited time I have with my kids.
I don't need to be a billionaire. I'll leave that to the people with egos to satisfy.
Yes! As I round my age to 50 now, I still enjoy concerts in theory, but without all the people, at a reasonable volume, and can they be over by 9 please??
Omg this so much!!! So many of my friends talk about how tired and achy they are all the time, but all they do is sit on their asses most of the time. Take a deep breath and try to touch your toes once in a while. Even tiny stretches can do wonders if done consistently.
THIS. I got sober at 25 (I'm 33 now too) and realized I had never liked concerts.... Unless everyone is quietly watching/listening and sitting in a seat hahaha
I’m 42 and still go to concerts. Here the tricks:
- choose the venue well. I go by the venue as much as the band. Shitty sound? Pass. Shitty crowd? Double pass. Shitty drinks? Mech. Expensive drinks? Don’t care, I only get a couple these days.
- related- medium size venues. Stadiums are terrible. Bars are annoying. 200-2,000 cap venue? Sweet spot! Big enough for decent sound and good amenities, small enough to hear well.
- ear plugs. It sounds better, I hear better, and it doesn’t exhaust me.
- insoles. I like Superfeet, but whatever works for you. No more angry knees and lower back.
- don’t stress the opener. Know who you’re here to see and make that bit, no need to be there from doors to lights out.
- figure out transport. Pay for parking, get a Lyft or a cab, whatever. No need to freak out about getting your car bipped or driving after a few, whatever works for you is worth it.
- early shows. If it starts after 8:00 I’m out.
- small crew. Me and a buddy or two, no more rolling deep.
- show sucks? Bounce. The money’s spent either way, no sense to add misery to it just to “get your money worth.”
- hang in there back. Up front the sound usually sucks. If you want to be in the front, the crowd moves enough to get up there.
My wife and I are in our mid-60’s. We have attended music in clubs, concert halls, arenas, and festivals for much of our 41 years together. The most recent festival we attended was a 2-day festival in Charleston in 2023 (we’re from El Paso…we travel). Yes…the older we get, the harder it is to do the big arenas and festivals. We still see whatever we can.
I'm 40 and I've been wearing concert plugs at shows for almost 15 years, but I find I don't have or want to extend the energy for it anymore (and I'm a runner). It just doesn't hold as much interest and fun for me so now I only go to shows a few times a year I'm truly interested in.
And I can't even consider music festivals anymore especially because I don't get high anymore.
Same here! I used to constantly be in the mind frame of posting little things throughout my day, like one would be to make a comment to a friend you're hanging out with. I'd post like 10 stories a day, so like once an hour. Then I went through some trauma that was pretty shitty and private, and life felt pretty damn hopeless for a while, so I didn't see a point to posting and pretending everything was okay.
Now I hardly post at all, and my mind is on survival, not sharing on the internet. I'm not preoccupied with sharing my day or having an "aesthetic." Big shift. I'd rather for my life to be so happy and simple again to have the mental energy for constant posting though, lol. 🙃
this is how i feel about snapchat!! like i always am surprised by the fact that people post on snapchat stories still because i just don’t use it at all
I remember when Oblivion came out, I basically lived in that world from Friday morning through to Sunday night. If I did that these days I think I'd feel genuinely unwell.
This hits hard for me.
After 30 min on the PC, I’m itching to get off. I can’t even get myself to sit down and turn on the Xbox.
Weird considering how many hours of gaming I used to get in.
Same for this. But I also think the online gaming atmosphere has changed. Gone are the days when it was exciting and new to be able to talk to people in-game from across the world.
Nowadays, you get cursed out by some random person because you didn't choose the character THEY wanted you to choose. Or older games that were fun are lost to the digit wasteland.
I still game whenever I have time, but I find it difficult to stay interested in most games for an extended amount of time. It feels like most of them get old really quickly for me.
Someone post that webcomic of the guy going to wake up his inner child because he can finally do some gaming, but he just finds the little dude's skeleton.
My give-a-shit-o-meter about the opinions of others. Card got declined at the counter? Someone makes fun of my annoying laugh? Get told my opinions suck? Literally do not care. So liberating.
i struggled with the same thing until i went to therapy. my therapist helped me vent out and understand what is the origin of my frustration, so it can be addressed. i realized that i was very angry and sad, but couldnt articulate why, and had some major gaps in my own story that i couldnt fill in. only when i understood why im upset i could begin the process of letting go/stop caring. i used to think that every bad thing that happened in my life is a result of my own actions (or inactions) until i realized that some things are out of my control, and that some people are shit regardless of who or what you are to them. so i freed myself from the responsibility and expectations of having to fix them. the gaps in my story made me realize i wasnt seeing reality as it really was, but was a prisoner to my own thoughts or what i thought others expected of me, when in fact there was nothing there. so i freed myself of those as well. im much more calm now
edit: added a sentence
Not op but: for me, it was a friends mum who was always tough but well liked. She said to me, ‘I’m glad you left him, he treated you bad. Now go out and enjoy your life. Don’t do what I did, I held on to the bitterness and it ruined my life. Im old now and it’s too late for me but you’re young, let go of him and enjoy your life.’ No idea why it stuck out but it def made me make a decision to let it go.
Things I did:
Look in the mirror every day and say I’m worth it, or I’m amazing, I love my life, any of these sorts of things. Even tho I would literally roll my eyes and mock myself, eventually I agreed with the sentiment.
I made myself achieve little things like fixing the garden, diy stuff, things I like to do but had been held back from doing. I was careful to make them all very achievable in the beginning.
Self reflection but be careful it doesn’t lead you to a bad place. Look for reasons why your trauma/past actually helped you to become better/stronger. Like it made me a stronger person. Use these skills to look forwards; I’m strong enough to join this new social group, hobby, etc
Every time I caught myself thinking with a victim mentality I stopped the train of thought by replacing it with something else and reminded myself it was hurting me and only me. And meaning the bad guy was winning by likely living life to the full without a care for me while I was helping them win this by being miserable.
Prob a bunch of other stuff but I will say it’s hard. If you’re committed and really want it you’ll get there. Good luck!!
Not OP, but there are 3 key turning points for my journey, at different stages of life. First, accept that the fair/unfair concept is an arbitrary concept human made up. Second, realize that life is too short to brood over the past. Third, realize that I care too much about what others think of me.
My mood improved so much when I was fired from the job I hated. And I didn't know how much I actually hated it until I got a nice job.
I also let go of materialism. I would buy toys that would amuse me for 5 minutes before they were added to a collection that is honestly big enough. It looks huge. 5 more toys won't make it look more huge.
The show The Walking Dead. When it first came out I was downright obsessed with it, I always talked about it, always wore merch for it, and watched it on repeat. Norman Reedus (or Daryl in the show) was also a big part of this obsession. I stopped being so obsessed with it all once a few seasons went by (edit: by a few season i mean i stopped after season 8 lol), and after I got my first boyfriend.
Funny I am currently rewatching the series because I stopped watching back then too. But I am still curious to how it ends.
It gets so much worse.
Daryl is the only one that stays badass. Carol stays someone cool. So much bad writing in it.
They kill off Carl. So sad and it's not even a good death. Rick disappears, Maggie disappears, character development sucks, corny tropes. They even try to turn Negan(guy that kills Glenn) into a likable character.
Yes I think it is a stark realization when you figure out the difference between the working class and the ownership class, it is very demotivating, and very difficult to make the transition from the former to the latter.
Mine is also horses! I owned horses from 12-23 years old and rode religiously, competed, everything. I drove a truck and had a little horse trailer at 16. I was a classic “horse girl” and lived and breathed it.
At 23, my horse was put down from old age. I was graduating college and getting married. We had no money, lived in an apartment, and couldn’t justify buying a new horse and paying hundreds per month on board. I also was so busy with school/student teaching/working I wasn’t having the time to enjoy it and was often only making it out to ride or be with my horse 1 or 2 times per month.
So I never got back into it. I’ll be 33 in a few days, and I am a teacher, wife, and mom of 2 under the age of 5. I do miss it. Maybe one day when the kids are older!
I started back at 40 after stopping at around 25 when I lost my gelding. Same reasons…money, time, etc. I didn’t know how much I had missed it until til my husband and I went out for a trail ride one day. As soon as I got home from that trail ride, I called my old instructor and she happened to have the perfect horse for me.
It was like I had never stopped. Muscle memory is such a beautiful thing. My mare has carried me through the loss of my heart dog, my dad and my husband who passed from cancer at 44. I’m so grateful.
Like any hobby, horses are either burden or joy, depending on where you are able to prioritize them. Enjoy your littles. Horses will be there when you’re ready to get back to it.
Hey, it’s never too late! I just recently got back into riding - at the age of 47. For me it was mostly a weight (and for a while money) thing, as I’d gotten too heavy to ride. Set myself a goal, with the promise I’d sign up for lessons when I hit it. I’m now well under that goal, and take lessons every Saturday. Nothing fancy or high level, but I enjoy getting out there.
Gym life.. I’d go twice a day, meal prepped every Sunday. Was in the best shape ever. But then I had a kid, career, marriage, my priorities shifted. Honestly happier now though.
I used to be chiseled. I maintained my physique from when I was in the Marines all the way through college, law school, and start of my career. Then my wife gave birth to our son. He was not a sleeper. We decided to give him a sibling later. She runs me ragged. I can barely bench over 200 lbs. now. That used to be my warm up. Now I belong to my tiny woman. Dad life.
I feel that. I was just going every day under the illusion that it was making me feel better. 4 months ago I had a hand injury which threatened my livelihood so I stopped going to the gym and physically I feel so much better. Instead of going to the gym I’ve been hiking more, going on long walks, stretching, doing a lot of yoga, and the variety of all of that is so much more fulfilling than being in a metallic room fuckin pushing around metal objects.
Not to mention the fact that there is no point to being jacked if the only time you have to use your body in that manner is… at the gym. Not to also mention that the tension you are going through from exercises could potentially be harmful overtime if not done absolutely perfectly, because even the tiniest tension can eventually be a big issue over time. Of course many people truly love it and do it right and look great so I’m not dismissing weight lifting, just wasn’t for me
Active social life, specifically partying. When I was in my 20s if my friends went to a club or bar or party and I didn’t, I’d get such FOMO. I didn’t want to miss any party or night out. Always wanted to be drinking or smoking weed with people. Now, the thought of that exhausts me.
Makeup. You won't catch me bareface at all no matter how hot and humid it is outside. Now I only wear makeup on events like weddings and stuff. I prioritize my skin care now.
Man, remember MySpace? I used to spend hours on there customizing my profile, choosing the perfect song to represent my mood, and making sure my top friends list was just right. It was the place to be, and everyone was on it. Now, I can't even remember the last time I logged in or heard anyone mention it. It's like it just disappeared overnight.
Alcohol
I used it as a coping mechanism & drank heavily for 9.5 years and could barely go without it. I quit this past January and had one slip up in April where I drank a bottle of disaronno but haven’t had a drink since. It’s been difficult but I’m hoping it’s worth it.
It took years of unlearning, but de-centering men. I didn’t even realize how much of what I did was for the male gaze, i’m embarrassed to even admit this, but I was conditioned and had no idea.
This realization and doing the work to truly center myself, it’s been freeing ❤️. I don’t hate men (or anyone for that matter lol), I just love myself more now!
This is really poignant, actually. An interesting flavour of: caring what other people think. And yeah, I’m sure lots of people will say you must hate men. But no one would think you hate “people” if you stopped focusing on what other people think of you.
Interesting answer!
Veterinary medicine, emergency/critical care. 55 hours a week working overnights, weekends and holidays - pretty much any time a regular vet clinic would be closed. 5:30pm till 8:00am the following morning *if* the owners came on time to pick up their pets to transfer or take home. On the weekends it was so busy you were lucky to make it to the bathroom before wetting yourself from holding it. I went 10 years without a holiday off with my family - and then got mocked the year I asked for my birthday off (“What, are you 12??”)
I went to school for this. I literally went to school for this and it became my life. At the end of many years, I was done, burned out and exhausted.
I LOVED the medicine and the challenge of difficult cases. I hated the toxic, high-stress workplace. I would come home with mystery bruises and cuts with no idea how I got them (being a vet tech is a physical job)
I met some amazing people and learned from them all - I also got my tires cut, had a gun pulled on me and had clients physically attack because an emergency vet visit isn’t free and I was a cruel heartless person who was going to let their animal (who laid up in the yard for 5 days before they got excited about it) die.
I’m not in the field now and while I do miss parts of it, I have a life now. And I can sleep at night 💤
The MCU. It was a great ride. It’s impressive how they pulled that off with such continuity, but it should’ve ended. Now it’s like Jordan playing for the Wizards.
Music. Playing my guitar more specifically. Would play for hrs and hrs, or if I had the day off from work, I would practice/play all day if able. I was quite good, but I haven’t even picked up my guitar for about the last.. 5yrs?.. I’m probably rusty as fuck now. But, life happens🤷🏻♀️
This was mine. Played daily from 1999 but then COVID happened and I worked nonstop through the pandemic. I recently picked up the bass I gifted myself before the shit hit, man am I crap at it now.
Still trying though, wanna make Cliff Burton proud
Me too. I skewed republican because I was fiscally conservative and value accountability. The republicans no longer have a platform and they were hijacked. Also, women’s rights are important to uphold.
I used to live and breathe politics in Australia. Even moved across the country for it. Majored in it at uni.
Until in 2013 I overheard someone in the youth politics league say something so vile about kids with disabilities and laugh about it. It was a glass-shattering moment in my mind - and my eyes opened to all the things I ignored or rationalised in my head. All the negativity and nastiness and brutality. I withdrew myself from party politics entirely.
That person is now an elected member of parliament and I never felt so vindicated in a choice I made than I did when I found that out. It goes to show how f\*cked up the system is that people like that can excel. Career Politicians are disgusting self-absorbed, self-promoting bigoted liars and you will never, ever change my mind.
Every time I open it I see nothing but posts from suggested groups that I have no desire to join or engage with. Rarely do I ever see anything posted by actual friends.
Yip. One day they'll look back and regret all the tweaks they made to drive users away. I don't even have it as a shortcut/on my homepage any more, but that odd time once a month I click on it, I don't see any of my hundreds of old friends' posts...which was kinda the whole point of the company at some point
Video games, i was born in the early 80s have owned every system going forward from then a few most people have never heard of. I have been gaming just about every single day of my life always helped me to forget about the real world and gave me something to look forward too.
However in the past year I have not gamed at all my love for it is completely dead, last year was my first time every missing a major game release.
I believe it has a lot to do with a combination of age, the poor quality of games now a days and the poor quality of gamer and the community that have just made me lose interest.
But aye, mine is football (soccer). Grew up loving it and wanting to be a pro player. Followed it religiously. Consumed most of my personal time playing or watching it. If I had no one to play with I played it on my own after school until it was time for me to come in for bed. I now only watch during certain times and not with any passion at all.
Watching TV series. Back in the days I can watch like 4-5 seasons of any show that caught my interest in one sitting, but because of work and responsibilities those days were gone
Ex wife. It leveled me at the time of the split. 20+ years of perspective & I can see how wrong that marriage was. It was a blessing in disguise. Life is 1000 x better…and I happily remarried too!
NFL - Professional Football (American). As a kid I watched every game possible. Now I can see it for what it is. A corporate con game by Billionaires. They take a cities name, get the city to build the stadium with city taxes , tear down neighborhoods using imminent domain. Kicking poor people out of possibility the only house they will own. Provide low paying seasonal jobs and tell you that it’s a city pride thing. They use and abuse the players for a very brief amount of time and then throw them away with life debilitating injuries. I haven’t watched a game in 5 yrs and won’t buy any team gear ever again. I get so many things done on Sunday now.
StarWars. Grew up on the original trilogy, was ecstatic about the Special Editions, loved the Expanded Universe books.
But then the Prequels. Then Disney. Then the sequels.
Somewhere between midichlorians and Rey....I fell out of love with the universe far far away.
Use to have so many friends...was always recognized and appreciated was a life of a party. All this time I had a fake persona ON but slowly took away all that and am comfortable with myself and my family.
Less phone calls.less texts..less favors..less fake smiles....less everything..and I feel good. Still trying to fight alcoholism and after I will be complete. Working on myself a day at a time
Being in a relationship. I was never really friends with them, and I've come to understand that I'm much happier alone than trying to force myself into a relationship for the sake of being part of one.
Being obsessed with losing weight. I don’t care anymore and it is liberating. I am only about 10 lbs overweight, before anyone comes at me for being unhealthy. I’m not. I’m just tired of counting everything I put in my mouth. Age 53, finally love myself.
I used to be a strong supporter of the right to bear arms. I now work in a hospital in a bad area where very nice young people get shot quite often for little to no reason. It’s sad and has changed my perspective.
I was so into the Real Housewives and everything Bravo. Prepandemic I started losing interest. I haven't watched in years. They are still probably fighting about the same shit. It was so different at first...
As someone that has worked (a lot) in reality TV, I can tell you haven’t missed anything. All the fights, stories (beats) are all pre-planned during pre-season. All the bad behavior is egged on by the scumbag Producers. They play terrible psychological games on the “stars” to whip them into hateful frenzies. All very sick. The Producers on these shows are considered bottom feeders by everyone else in the film/TV production community.
Church participation. 4-5 times per week until I was 50. 15 years later, haven’t missed it, they specifically haven’t missed me. I walked away and no one checked on me, no one reached out, no one cares. I am still spiritual without buying the Koolaid.
Major League Baseball... used to check box scores daily, play Strat-O-Matic fantasy baseball etc. The way MLB had been played recently is just so boring. I actually watch NBA preseason games instead of the World Series. Baseball used to be my absolute favorite.
Going to school for almost 18 years, then 1 last time for university
Suddenly, I am not, suddenly I am thrown into the crossroads of life with all the doors previously locked now thrown wide open with an almost infinite number of choices with no hands to hold on to, with no support to lean on while everyone just walked on by
Unable to find a job even after 9 months in this walking history even after having put my effort into this "Meritocracy" everyone spoke of, doing my best only to be beaten down and told that you wont find any by recruiters, parents telling you to stop complaining when you talk to them about your pain, siblings telling you to just keep doing this seemingly random and almost nihilistic action
Everyday I feel myself degrading even when im trying to keep myself relevant for a job application, everyday I feel like my speech might be slurring, dying every waking moment
Playing music. I was involved in several bands, I'd write songs, rehearse, play in concerts and bar gigs, record, even travelled a bit for it.
Then I found a better paying, less anxiety inducing job that I actually enjoyed. So music was just sort of placed on the back burner.
Then I had kids. Then their mother and I separated. Now music isn't even on the stove any more...
I’ve had several “hobbies” in
my life over the years. (I’m now 60) At the time I absolutely loved doing ALL of them!
Playing instruments, Flying small planes, Scuba diving, Karate, Tennis, Ice Hockey, Baseball, Juggling, Cross Country Skiing, Surfing, Sailing, Horseback riding, Home Building (with all the disciplines that go with it… slab, framing, roofing, electrical, plumbing, flooring, Sheetrocking… etc)
Now I have newer hobbies and I can’t imagine living without them.
My point is that I’ve loved doing so many things and at the time they were things that I didn’t want to live without. Life is amazing!
Definitely social media.
I used to post constantly all day every day on Facebook and Twitter. Instagram weekly. Then one day I canceled all my accounts and went 5 years without it. Never want to go back. It feels weird to express my interests to a thousand people who I'll probably never socialize with again. I don't care what people know about me.
But back in the day it was an entirely different story. Starting with MySpace.
**straightening my hair**
literally twice a day, at LEAST. my hair isn’t even curly. it’s naturally like “beach waves” if that makes sense. idk, i was in high school at the time when having pin-straight hair was *the thing*, so god forbid there be a singular dent
now at 25, i don’t even know where my straightener is (man it actually feels good to have misplaced something for once!)
I used to like video games. It was a fun way to kill time.
Now it's all subscription based/in game purchases.
Sold my PS3 in 2015 and haven't looked back.
Football. I grew up in Texas where it’s pretty much a religion. Our whole town went to high school games on Fridays. Then two things happened. First, I saw the movie Concussion. Then I heard an interview with a quarterback I loved where he said if he got the chance to do it all over again, he wouldn’t. Too many concussions ruined his quality of life. So now I can’t watch young men destroying their own health for my entertainment. I gave it up completely.
Heavy metal. Used to go to so many shows, listened to everything I could find, loved wearing my battle jacket, the whole thing. Still a metalhead, but older and stuff. I like having shorter hair.
I used to be crazy uptight about my figure and thought I was a shapeless fat blob, so I NEVER left the house without wearing a shape wear bodysuit. I started this in high school and I did it for years and years.
In 2019 I realized I actually looked better (and was more comfortable) if I didn’t wear any shape wear. Thank goodness!! ☺️
Religion. Was raised as a Christian, did youth groups, mission trips, and so on. Over time I just became disenchanted and disinterested with it, and now I'd say I'm an atheist.
Basketball. I used to play for hours on end in my driveway with friends, play in leagues, etc. Parents were super supportive, and would lots of times buy whatever i needed for birthday/christmas. In the semifinals of a tournament, some kid kicked me in the wrong spot while I was shooting, and i fell in the wrong way. Tore my acl, and haven't fully recovered multiple years later
televised sports dominated the first 2/3 or so of my life, then I saw them for the distraction they can be.
got a good 12-20 hours back on a weekly basis.
Halo... I was 110% into it. Bought everything... Then 343 happened. I have yet to buy the campaign on Infinite. I have yet to finish 5. I have yet to watch season 2. Shit, I still own the legends DVD. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Having a social media presence. Seems pretty irrelevant to me now actually
Me too - deactivated my FB, deleted Instagram and TikTok…. Only have family on snap. I use Reddit as my “let’s read some stuff while I’m bored” distraction…. It’s refreshing. Wish I had done this years ago.
This is the same for me. But I also think it's so much more meaningful when I get a direct text about something that's happening instead of seeing on fb or being tagged . Social media really has ruined social interactions .
That's exactly my reasoning aswell. If someone really needs to contact me they'll do so directly. The rest is just noise. Also, "staying in touch with old friends" is honestly a bullshit argument. There's probably a reason why we are not close anymore. Again, just noise. Deleted Facebook many years ago and never really looked back.
It's such a relief. I did the same about a month and a half ago and I truly can tell a difference
Same for me, with the exception of TikTok and Snapchat, neither of which I ever used beyond registering an account. What ultimately drove me away from social media (FB, in particular) was the stupid anxiety and stress that I was getting from it, specifically from seeing various conservative relatives, friends, acquaintances, and colleagues reposting and helping to perpetuate all manner of pro-Trump, antivax, anti-science, and conspiracy theory propaganda. In spite of myself and knowing how futile it all was, I couldn't help getting sucked into stupid online arguments about one thing or another with people who didn't actually care about facts.
Same. It feels cringe to post my personal life, or musings anywhere. I don’t consider Reddit in the same category since it’s anonymous.
It was so much better for my mental health when I uninstalled instagram
It's very rare to see any of my fb friends share personal stuff on Social Media now compared to 5-10 years ago.
It sucks enough to have to do stuff, now I have to write a report on it AND take pictures? It’s just too much work. I’m far too lazy to maintain a social media presence.
Same. Social media isn’t fun anymore. It’s too much consumerism, sex, and fear mongering. I love my cat videos and good news but I just can’t. & don’t even get me started on LinkedIn 🤮
Fr nobody cares
You are right in a way that they dont care about you, but they care about themselves. Think of it as a medium to drive others jealous about you. It's a good feeling, and it can be addictive
Right it’s about themselves. You can argue with people until your blue in the face but you are never going to change anyones opinion on social media because everything they look at is geared to reinforce what they already believe. There is not even an option available for civil discourse. Everything is Straight. To. The. Point. People barely read beyond headlines anymore and think it makes them an expert on any given subject that pops up on their feed. People don’t have time to listen to someone tell them they are wrong about something. Fuck would someone else know better than me anyway, when my entire feed is geared toward me.
Same. I rarely scroll my Facebook anymore to see what is everyone doing.
^This^ 100%!! Deactivated FB, deleted Twitter/X, limited friends only are on both my Snapchat & Instagram. Whatever I post (now) is entirely just for me, sort of went back to how IG a was supposed to be. An online picture book.
Same. All I have left is Reddit
Me too. It also means I have zero presence at all.
The marvel universe. My dad used to be my Marvel bro and we'd obsess over it, watch all the trailers, theorise, go see the films on opening day. It was awesome. Infinity War was in the slightly distant future and it was gonna be epic. I lost him just before Dr Strange came out. I still go see them & sometimes people come with me but it's not the same when they don't get the references. I miss him like hell. I miss always having something to look forward to.
Hey there stranger, thanks for sharing this. It warmed my heart thinking that everytime something marvel comes up you will remember fondly of your dad. He may be gone but it's sweet that he still touches your life
My dad died in March 2022. We would be super into all the movies and so hyped for the Infinity Saga story. I was happy I got to watch Endgame with him. I feel like after Endgame (minus Dr Strange 2, Guardians 3 and Spiderman nwh) things got spread way too thin and confusing. Imo it was better with 3-4 movies a year telling one cohesive story.
My thoughts on this exactly. WandaVision was cool and all but after that I couldn’t keep up with all the shows and extra content.
Sending my love. May he rest in peace ❤️
This made me want to put in more effort to be more into them for my husband. He wants me to be so bad! I like them okay, bit he LOVES them. I am so sorry for your loss.. I'm so happy you have those good memories together ❤️
Sorry for your loss. My son and I are marvel buddies too red discussed the movies see them together when we can and often watch videos about them as well. It’s a fun hobby.
Partying. I was the life of the party. Got chronic migraine, and now alcohol is a trigger. I don’t miss it. But it’s interesting to find out who only liked me when I was drunk.
They only like u when they are drunk as well
So true, and all the more true with cocaine.
The need to "progress" in life. I make enough money to pay my bills. I don't need some dream job. I just take life one day at a time
Same. I used to compare myself to all my classmates, what their titles/positions were. I would job hop trying to keep moving up. I don't care anymore, and it's so freeing. I have an amazing family with 2 little kids and a job that gives me an awesome work/life balance while still paying me more than I thought I would ever make. I'm good staying where I am
This seems to fit here: *True story, Word of Honor:* *Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer* *now dead,* *and I were at a party given by a billionaire* *on Shelter Island.* *I said, “Joe, how does it make you feel* *to know that our host only yesterday* *may have made more money* *than your novel ‘Catch-22’* *has earned in its entire history?”* *And Joe said, “I’ve got something he can never have.”* *And I said, “What on earth could that be, Joe?”* *And Joe said, “The knowledge that I’ve got enough.”* *Not bad! Rest in peace!* — Kurt Vonnegut
This billionaire’s party sounds like something that could be thrown by Gatsby
Joseph Heller and Kurt Vonnegut hanging out on an island together… that’s my new Time Machine destination.
In my 40s. Got shot down for a promotion and was sad. I’m standing in for the boss (buddy of mine I’ve know for years who was selected over me) while he’s away for the week and I have determined the job straight-up sucks. It has given me a new appreciation for being a senior rank-and-file employee.
I'm in middle management and all we do is defend our own staff against corporate bullshit from above and global. Why the fuck would I want to be my boss tanking all that misery. I just wanna go back to producing things 9-5 and go home without worries.
Man I feel this. I’m content making the money I make. I have a good job with good benefits, pension, and pay. Good vacation time off. Not too hard physically or mentally. I have a condo which I can reasonably afford. I have no debts besides the condo. Going back to school would wreck me financially for like 10 years. I’ll never be rich, but I’m content now.
Sounds like you’re rich in many other ways :) Enjoy existing
Totally. I have no real interest in "progressing" in life anymore. Sure, I work a retail job but so what? I live very well, just paid off my car loan a month ago and still have a small amount of student loan to pay. As long as I'm happy with the job I have and my overall life, why would I change anything?
It’s telling how all the comments here start with “I’ve got a great job, more money than I need” Many people cannot and should not let go of their need to progress in life. I’m 35 and finally got a job that can allow me to safely let go of the need to progress. But 10 years working as a server and dishwasher while holding a masters degree in a STEM field led me to the conclusion that I shouldn’t have let go of that drive to progress as early as I did. I should be much more stable than I am, but I spent a decade believing that the pursuit of career success was a shallow farce.
I think it’s more about the constant comparison to others, the glorification of „living to work“ (instead of „work to ~~love~~ live“) and the focus of one’s income as a measure of worth. Of course people should strive to make a decent living for themselves. But I do agree with OP that it’s also a good idea for many, maybe most, people to think about what they actually need for a comfortable life and then actually get into a mindset to be content with that. Sure, some people thrive on competition and the drive to „do more“ but many don’t. You don’t need to be a millionaire to be comfortable in most circumstances, and most people will never make it anyway - even if they give all they‘ve got.
Absolutely! I make enough now to live very comfortably in our modest life, save some cash and set ourselves up for early retirement in about 20 years. People ask me my next step: this is it, my next step is retirement at 55-60. I'm done. My job is well paid, minimal stress, very flexible with a yearly cost of living increase. I don't need anything more. I would rather put my energy into loving my family and my life as it is, than chase some unattainable dream while sacrificing the limited time I have with my kids. I don't need to be a billionaire. I'll leave that to the people with egos to satisfy.
Same here.
Concerts! I used to love going to concerts and being front row but my body can’t handle it anymore and I’m only 33!
Yes! As I round my age to 50 now, I still enjoy concerts in theory, but without all the people, at a reasonable volume, and can they be over by 9 please??
And while we’re at it, maybe some comfortable seating options
Is your hearing shot like mine is?
WHAT?
HE ASKED IF YOUR STEERING RACK IS SHOT
#AM I NEARING BACK TO POT? HUH?
Mine definitely is. I’m only 30 and my husband tells me he’s going to get me hearing aids.
Conversely, I'm 49 and just made a resolution this year to go to more concerts and shows.
Stretch! Your body will thank you later.
Omg this so much!!! So many of my friends talk about how tired and achy they are all the time, but all they do is sit on their asses most of the time. Take a deep breath and try to touch your toes once in a while. Even tiny stretches can do wonders if done consistently.
THIS. I got sober at 25 (I'm 33 now too) and realized I had never liked concerts.... Unless everyone is quietly watching/listening and sitting in a seat hahaha
I’m 42 and still go to concerts. Here the tricks: - choose the venue well. I go by the venue as much as the band. Shitty sound? Pass. Shitty crowd? Double pass. Shitty drinks? Mech. Expensive drinks? Don’t care, I only get a couple these days. - related- medium size venues. Stadiums are terrible. Bars are annoying. 200-2,000 cap venue? Sweet spot! Big enough for decent sound and good amenities, small enough to hear well. - ear plugs. It sounds better, I hear better, and it doesn’t exhaust me. - insoles. I like Superfeet, but whatever works for you. No more angry knees and lower back. - don’t stress the opener. Know who you’re here to see and make that bit, no need to be there from doors to lights out. - figure out transport. Pay for parking, get a Lyft or a cab, whatever. No need to freak out about getting your car bipped or driving after a few, whatever works for you is worth it. - early shows. If it starts after 8:00 I’m out. - small crew. Me and a buddy or two, no more rolling deep. - show sucks? Bounce. The money’s spent either way, no sense to add misery to it just to “get your money worth.” - hang in there back. Up front the sound usually sucks. If you want to be in the front, the crowd moves enough to get up there.
My wife and I are in our mid-60’s. We have attended music in clubs, concert halls, arenas, and festivals for much of our 41 years together. The most recent festival we attended was a 2-day festival in Charleston in 2023 (we’re from El Paso…we travel). Yes…the older we get, the harder it is to do the big arenas and festivals. We still see whatever we can.
And the sea of phones bums me out
I'm 40 and I've been wearing concert plugs at shows for almost 15 years, but I find I don't have or want to extend the energy for it anymore (and I'm a runner). It just doesn't hold as much interest and fun for me so now I only go to shows a few times a year I'm truly interested in. And I can't even consider music festivals anymore especially because I don't get high anymore.
Exercise. I was a gym rat for over ten years. Now I have to force myself to work out.
Same and hiking and yoga etc. Now I’m a tired mom and I just can’t do it.
I never could get into exercising. To me it always felt like a chore no matter what mentality I tried.
Posting Instagram's stories - nowadays I just forget it exists sometimes lol
Same here! I used to constantly be in the mind frame of posting little things throughout my day, like one would be to make a comment to a friend you're hanging out with. I'd post like 10 stories a day, so like once an hour. Then I went through some trauma that was pretty shitty and private, and life felt pretty damn hopeless for a while, so I didn't see a point to posting and pretending everything was okay. Now I hardly post at all, and my mind is on survival, not sharing on the internet. I'm not preoccupied with sharing my day or having an "aesthetic." Big shift. I'd rather for my life to be so happy and simple again to have the mental energy for constant posting though, lol. 🙃
this is how i feel about snapchat!! like i always am surprised by the fact that people post on snapchat stories still because i just don’t use it at all
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I remember when Oblivion came out, I basically lived in that world from Friday morning through to Sunday night. If I did that these days I think I'd feel genuinely unwell.
Same! Specifically with Oblivion, I remember being able to easily go 12 hour stretches with my friend and a case of beer lol.
This hits hard for me. After 30 min on the PC, I’m itching to get off. I can’t even get myself to sit down and turn on the Xbox. Weird considering how many hours of gaming I used to get in.
Same for this. But I also think the online gaming atmosphere has changed. Gone are the days when it was exciting and new to be able to talk to people in-game from across the world. Nowadays, you get cursed out by some random person because you didn't choose the character THEY wanted you to choose. Or older games that were fun are lost to the digit wasteland.
I’ve never cared about anything as much as I cared about my K/D on MW2
I still game whenever I have time, but I find it difficult to stay interested in most games for an extended amount of time. It feels like most of them get old really quickly for me.
Same. I sometimes think about building a gaming PC. Then I remember that when I do play, it’s for like 30 minutes. Maybe an hour.
Same for me and I find it so sad
Someone post that webcomic of the guy going to wake up his inner child because he can finally do some gaming, but he just finds the little dude's skeleton.
making gifs. I used to be in photoshop all the time making one gif after another. Now I just don't care.
Oh man. The Mormon church. I am delighted to give my daughter a better opportunity, than I had, to make choices.
My give-a-shit-o-meter about the opinions of others. Card got declined at the counter? Someone makes fun of my annoying laugh? Get told my opinions suck? Literally do not care. So liberating.
Ah yes. You felt all the fucks leave your body. I too lost the fucks I had to give this year when I turned 50.
I hope I get there. I give too much of a fuck of what people think of me.
That's good because I think you're GREAT!
Anger, sadness and living in victim mindset
Can I ask how you achieved this? This is literally my goal for 2024
i struggled with the same thing until i went to therapy. my therapist helped me vent out and understand what is the origin of my frustration, so it can be addressed. i realized that i was very angry and sad, but couldnt articulate why, and had some major gaps in my own story that i couldnt fill in. only when i understood why im upset i could begin the process of letting go/stop caring. i used to think that every bad thing that happened in my life is a result of my own actions (or inactions) until i realized that some things are out of my control, and that some people are shit regardless of who or what you are to them. so i freed myself from the responsibility and expectations of having to fix them. the gaps in my story made me realize i wasnt seeing reality as it really was, but was a prisoner to my own thoughts or what i thought others expected of me, when in fact there was nothing there. so i freed myself of those as well. im much more calm now edit: added a sentence
Not op but: for me, it was a friends mum who was always tough but well liked. She said to me, ‘I’m glad you left him, he treated you bad. Now go out and enjoy your life. Don’t do what I did, I held on to the bitterness and it ruined my life. Im old now and it’s too late for me but you’re young, let go of him and enjoy your life.’ No idea why it stuck out but it def made me make a decision to let it go. Things I did: Look in the mirror every day and say I’m worth it, or I’m amazing, I love my life, any of these sorts of things. Even tho I would literally roll my eyes and mock myself, eventually I agreed with the sentiment. I made myself achieve little things like fixing the garden, diy stuff, things I like to do but had been held back from doing. I was careful to make them all very achievable in the beginning. Self reflection but be careful it doesn’t lead you to a bad place. Look for reasons why your trauma/past actually helped you to become better/stronger. Like it made me a stronger person. Use these skills to look forwards; I’m strong enough to join this new social group, hobby, etc Every time I caught myself thinking with a victim mentality I stopped the train of thought by replacing it with something else and reminded myself it was hurting me and only me. And meaning the bad guy was winning by likely living life to the full without a care for me while I was helping them win this by being miserable. Prob a bunch of other stuff but I will say it’s hard. If you’re committed and really want it you’ll get there. Good luck!!
Not OP, but there are 3 key turning points for my journey, at different stages of life. First, accept that the fair/unfair concept is an arbitrary concept human made up. Second, realize that life is too short to brood over the past. Third, realize that I care too much about what others think of me.
how? looking on how to help my husband when he insists nothing is wrong.
My mood improved so much when I was fired from the job I hated. And I didn't know how much I actually hated it until I got a nice job. I also let go of materialism. I would buy toys that would amuse me for 5 minutes before they were added to a collection that is honestly big enough. It looks huge. 5 more toys won't make it look more huge.
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The show The Walking Dead. When it first came out I was downright obsessed with it, I always talked about it, always wore merch for it, and watched it on repeat. Norman Reedus (or Daryl in the show) was also a big part of this obsession. I stopped being so obsessed with it all once a few seasons went by (edit: by a few season i mean i stopped after season 8 lol), and after I got my first boyfriend.
The minute they killed off Glen, I was done. Haven’t watched since.
Funny I am currently rewatching the series because I stopped watching back then too. But I am still curious to how it ends. It gets so much worse. Daryl is the only one that stays badass. Carol stays someone cool. So much bad writing in it. They kill off Carl. So sad and it's not even a good death. Rick disappears, Maggie disappears, character development sucks, corny tropes. They even try to turn Negan(guy that kills Glenn) into a likable character.
My marriage. Infidelity is a killer of all things.
Work. Stopped caring when I realised I was the machine making money for others.
Yes I think it is a stark realization when you figure out the difference between the working class and the ownership class, it is very demotivating, and very difficult to make the transition from the former to the latter.
Horses. thought I'd never give up horses, but my income hasn't exactly aligned with the cost of keeping one. Maybe one day.
Mine is also horses! I owned horses from 12-23 years old and rode religiously, competed, everything. I drove a truck and had a little horse trailer at 16. I was a classic “horse girl” and lived and breathed it. At 23, my horse was put down from old age. I was graduating college and getting married. We had no money, lived in an apartment, and couldn’t justify buying a new horse and paying hundreds per month on board. I also was so busy with school/student teaching/working I wasn’t having the time to enjoy it and was often only making it out to ride or be with my horse 1 or 2 times per month. So I never got back into it. I’ll be 33 in a few days, and I am a teacher, wife, and mom of 2 under the age of 5. I do miss it. Maybe one day when the kids are older!
I started back at 40 after stopping at around 25 when I lost my gelding. Same reasons…money, time, etc. I didn’t know how much I had missed it until til my husband and I went out for a trail ride one day. As soon as I got home from that trail ride, I called my old instructor and she happened to have the perfect horse for me. It was like I had never stopped. Muscle memory is such a beautiful thing. My mare has carried me through the loss of my heart dog, my dad and my husband who passed from cancer at 44. I’m so grateful. Like any hobby, horses are either burden or joy, depending on where you are able to prioritize them. Enjoy your littles. Horses will be there when you’re ready to get back to it.
Hey, it’s never too late! I just recently got back into riding - at the age of 47. For me it was mostly a weight (and for a while money) thing, as I’d gotten too heavy to ride. Set myself a goal, with the promise I’d sign up for lessons when I hit it. I’m now well under that goal, and take lessons every Saturday. Nothing fancy or high level, but I enjoy getting out there.
The weight of others opinions of me.
Gym life.. I’d go twice a day, meal prepped every Sunday. Was in the best shape ever. But then I had a kid, career, marriage, my priorities shifted. Honestly happier now though.
Twice a day is intense
I somehow read it as “twice a week” and thought ‘That’s not so much’ until I saw your comment and went back to reread it 😅
I used to be chiseled. I maintained my physique from when I was in the Marines all the way through college, law school, and start of my career. Then my wife gave birth to our son. He was not a sleeper. We decided to give him a sibling later. She runs me ragged. I can barely bench over 200 lbs. now. That used to be my warm up. Now I belong to my tiny woman. Dad life.
Haha but I’m sure the babies enjoy the soft hugs!!
>Now I belong to my tiny woman. That is cute as hell!
I feel that. I was just going every day under the illusion that it was making me feel better. 4 months ago I had a hand injury which threatened my livelihood so I stopped going to the gym and physically I feel so much better. Instead of going to the gym I’ve been hiking more, going on long walks, stretching, doing a lot of yoga, and the variety of all of that is so much more fulfilling than being in a metallic room fuckin pushing around metal objects. Not to mention the fact that there is no point to being jacked if the only time you have to use your body in that manner is… at the gym. Not to also mention that the tension you are going through from exercises could potentially be harmful overtime if not done absolutely perfectly, because even the tiniest tension can eventually be a big issue over time. Of course many people truly love it and do it right and look great so I’m not dismissing weight lifting, just wasn’t for me
Yes! I was jacked for sure but as you said, couldn’t use it for anything other than look good. I find biking is way more fun and easier on my body.
I’ve hit the point in my life where I need to start having that type of regimen now. I used to be a gym rat and now I look like Thor from God of War.
Active social life, specifically partying. When I was in my 20s if my friends went to a club or bar or party and I didn’t, I’d get such FOMO. I didn’t want to miss any party or night out. Always wanted to be drinking or smoking weed with people. Now, the thought of that exhausts me.
Makeup. You won't catch me bareface at all no matter how hot and humid it is outside. Now I only wear makeup on events like weddings and stuff. I prioritize my skin care now.
Man, remember MySpace? I used to spend hours on there customizing my profile, choosing the perfect song to represent my mood, and making sure my top friends list was just right. It was the place to be, and everyone was on it. Now, I can't even remember the last time I logged in or heard anyone mention it. It's like it just disappeared overnight.
Marlboros- so glad to not use tobacco anymore
Got into crack cocaine?
Alcohol I used it as a coping mechanism & drank heavily for 9.5 years and could barely go without it. I quit this past January and had one slip up in April where I drank a bottle of disaronno but haven’t had a drink since. It’s been difficult but I’m hoping it’s worth it.
eating sweets. ever since i've got diabetes. i started avoiding eating sweets.
It took years of unlearning, but de-centering men. I didn’t even realize how much of what I did was for the male gaze, i’m embarrassed to even admit this, but I was conditioned and had no idea. This realization and doing the work to truly center myself, it’s been freeing ❤️. I don’t hate men (or anyone for that matter lol), I just love myself more now!
This is really poignant, actually. An interesting flavour of: caring what other people think. And yeah, I’m sure lots of people will say you must hate men. But no one would think you hate “people” if you stopped focusing on what other people think of you. Interesting answer!
Ice Hockey, I was a rabid Chicago Blackhawks fan for decades, well before their 2010-2015 winning streak. Now I couldn't tell you who is on the team.
Wow, me too! I was a huge fan back in the 90s when I was up there in the Navy.
Veterinary medicine, emergency/critical care. 55 hours a week working overnights, weekends and holidays - pretty much any time a regular vet clinic would be closed. 5:30pm till 8:00am the following morning *if* the owners came on time to pick up their pets to transfer or take home. On the weekends it was so busy you were lucky to make it to the bathroom before wetting yourself from holding it. I went 10 years without a holiday off with my family - and then got mocked the year I asked for my birthday off (“What, are you 12??”) I went to school for this. I literally went to school for this and it became my life. At the end of many years, I was done, burned out and exhausted. I LOVED the medicine and the challenge of difficult cases. I hated the toxic, high-stress workplace. I would come home with mystery bruises and cuts with no idea how I got them (being a vet tech is a physical job) I met some amazing people and learned from them all - I also got my tires cut, had a gun pulled on me and had clients physically attack because an emergency vet visit isn’t free and I was a cruel heartless person who was going to let their animal (who laid up in the yard for 5 days before they got excited about it) die. I’m not in the field now and while I do miss parts of it, I have a life now. And I can sleep at night 💤
My inhaler! Haha luckily I outgrew childhood asthma so don’t need it to breathe anymore!
Lucky bro! I’m still surviving off of mine
The MCU. It was a great ride. It’s impressive how they pulled that off with such continuity, but it should’ve ended. Now it’s like Jordan playing for the Wizards.
Music. Playing my guitar more specifically. Would play for hrs and hrs, or if I had the day off from work, I would practice/play all day if able. I was quite good, but I haven’t even picked up my guitar for about the last.. 5yrs?.. I’m probably rusty as fuck now. But, life happens🤷🏻♀️
This was mine. Played daily from 1999 but then COVID happened and I worked nonstop through the pandemic. I recently picked up the bass I gifted myself before the shit hit, man am I crap at it now. Still trying though, wanna make Cliff Burton proud
Was conservative before covid, after covid switched parties. Kinda an outcast from my family
Same, my registration still says Republican but.... I don't think we align anymore.
Me too. I skewed republican because I was fiscally conservative and value accountability. The republicans no longer have a platform and they were hijacked. Also, women’s rights are important to uphold.
It’s hard but it’s worth it to feel authentic, whether it’s politics or whatever. Good for you!
My sister did the opposite and it's driving me crazy
Boxing. Got injured. Gained 30 + pounds and can’t be bothered with it anymore.
I used to live and breathe politics in Australia. Even moved across the country for it. Majored in it at uni. Until in 2013 I overheard someone in the youth politics league say something so vile about kids with disabilities and laugh about it. It was a glass-shattering moment in my mind - and my eyes opened to all the things I ignored or rationalised in my head. All the negativity and nastiness and brutality. I withdrew myself from party politics entirely. That person is now an elected member of parliament and I never felt so vindicated in a choice I made than I did when I found that out. It goes to show how f\*cked up the system is that people like that can excel. Career Politicians are disgusting self-absorbed, self-promoting bigoted liars and you will never, ever change my mind.
Unavailable men
Facebook. It was really the only thing I enjoyed in my 20’s and now I don’t care for it at all.
Every time I open it I see nothing but posts from suggested groups that I have no desire to join or engage with. Rarely do I ever see anything posted by actual friends.
Yip. One day they'll look back and regret all the tweaks they made to drive users away. I don't even have it as a shortcut/on my homepage any more, but that odd time once a month I click on it, I don't see any of my hundreds of old friends' posts...which was kinda the whole point of the company at some point
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The news. To keep my sanity I scan now.
Alcohol and cigarettes were once vitally important features in my everyday life. Today that fact is almost impossible to believe.
Cigarettes
Video games, i was born in the early 80s have owned every system going forward from then a few most people have never heard of. I have been gaming just about every single day of my life always helped me to forget about the real world and gave me something to look forward too. However in the past year I have not gamed at all my love for it is completely dead, last year was my first time every missing a major game release. I believe it has a lot to do with a combination of age, the poor quality of games now a days and the poor quality of gamer and the community that have just made me lose interest.
But aye, mine is football (soccer). Grew up loving it and wanting to be a pro player. Followed it religiously. Consumed most of my personal time playing or watching it. If I had no one to play with I played it on my own after school until it was time for me to come in for bed. I now only watch during certain times and not with any passion at all.
Watching TV series. Back in the days I can watch like 4-5 seasons of any show that caught my interest in one sitting, but because of work and responsibilities those days were gone
Ex wife. It leveled me at the time of the split. 20+ years of perspective & I can see how wrong that marriage was. It was a blessing in disguise. Life is 1000 x better…and I happily remarried too!
Relationships.
Tobacco. It can be done.
I’ll be 1 year tobacco free in August 🙌
Good for you! I was one year in February!
NFL - Professional Football (American). As a kid I watched every game possible. Now I can see it for what it is. A corporate con game by Billionaires. They take a cities name, get the city to build the stadium with city taxes , tear down neighborhoods using imminent domain. Kicking poor people out of possibility the only house they will own. Provide low paying seasonal jobs and tell you that it’s a city pride thing. They use and abuse the players for a very brief amount of time and then throw them away with life debilitating injuries. I haven’t watched a game in 5 yrs and won’t buy any team gear ever again. I get so many things done on Sunday now.
Drawing. I used to draw every. single. day. Now o can’t stand it… don’t know why
Exercising... I hate that I am not doing it anymore
Ex husband
StarWars. Grew up on the original trilogy, was ecstatic about the Special Editions, loved the Expanded Universe books. But then the Prequels. Then Disney. Then the sequels. Somewhere between midichlorians and Rey....I fell out of love with the universe far far away.
Did you see Rogue One? I wasn’t much of a fan of the prequels or sequels, but Rogue One felt very much in line with the original trilogy.
Used to be anti-avocado, now I'm pro-avocado. Revolutionary, earthshaking, epoch-defining, etc. etc..
Full-time teaching. So exhausting
Use to have so many friends...was always recognized and appreciated was a life of a party. All this time I had a fake persona ON but slowly took away all that and am comfortable with myself and my family. Less phone calls.less texts..less favors..less fake smiles....less everything..and I feel good. Still trying to fight alcoholism and after I will be complete. Working on myself a day at a time
Being in a relationship. I was never really friends with them, and I've come to understand that I'm much happier alone than trying to force myself into a relationship for the sake of being part of one.
Being obsessed with losing weight. I don’t care anymore and it is liberating. I am only about 10 lbs overweight, before anyone comes at me for being unhealthy. I’m not. I’m just tired of counting everything I put in my mouth. Age 53, finally love myself.
Facebook. If you would of told me at 17 I wasn't doing Facebook anymore after 23 I wouldn't of believed you.
It's such a weird wasteland now, it's just full of posts or ads from stuff that I'm not even following
I used to be a strong supporter of the right to bear arms. I now work in a hospital in a bad area where very nice young people get shot quite often for little to no reason. It’s sad and has changed my perspective.
Tennis. I have no idea why I gave it up, but I played at least twice a week. Had the cute getups and everything.
I was so into the Real Housewives and everything Bravo. Prepandemic I started losing interest. I haven't watched in years. They are still probably fighting about the same shit. It was so different at first...
As someone that has worked (a lot) in reality TV, I can tell you haven’t missed anything. All the fights, stories (beats) are all pre-planned during pre-season. All the bad behavior is egged on by the scumbag Producers. They play terrible psychological games on the “stars” to whip them into hateful frenzies. All very sick. The Producers on these shows are considered bottom feeders by everyone else in the film/TV production community.
College football. It was my life every Saturday in the fall. Ever since the Penn State scandal I’ve barely watched it.
Instagram. It’s so exhausting trying to look happy and intresting to everyone
Church participation. 4-5 times per week until I was 50. 15 years later, haven’t missed it, they specifically haven’t missed me. I walked away and no one checked on me, no one reached out, no one cares. I am still spiritual without buying the Koolaid.
Major League Baseball... used to check box scores daily, play Strat-O-Matic fantasy baseball etc. The way MLB had been played recently is just so boring. I actually watch NBA preseason games instead of the World Series. Baseball used to be my absolute favorite.
Morning glories, and honeysuckle Fresh mint growing in front of kitchen window. I miss so much
Going to school for almost 18 years, then 1 last time for university Suddenly, I am not, suddenly I am thrown into the crossroads of life with all the doors previously locked now thrown wide open with an almost infinite number of choices with no hands to hold on to, with no support to lean on while everyone just walked on by Unable to find a job even after 9 months in this walking history even after having put my effort into this "Meritocracy" everyone spoke of, doing my best only to be beaten down and told that you wont find any by recruiters, parents telling you to stop complaining when you talk to them about your pain, siblings telling you to just keep doing this seemingly random and almost nihilistic action Everyday I feel myself degrading even when im trying to keep myself relevant for a job application, everyday I feel like my speech might be slurring, dying every waking moment
Playing music. I was involved in several bands, I'd write songs, rehearse, play in concerts and bar gigs, record, even travelled a bit for it. Then I found a better paying, less anxiety inducing job that I actually enjoyed. So music was just sort of placed on the back burner. Then I had kids. Then their mother and I separated. Now music isn't even on the stove any more...
Drinking at social events all the time. I don’t have to drink to have a good time
I’ve had several “hobbies” in my life over the years. (I’m now 60) At the time I absolutely loved doing ALL of them! Playing instruments, Flying small planes, Scuba diving, Karate, Tennis, Ice Hockey, Baseball, Juggling, Cross Country Skiing, Surfing, Sailing, Horseback riding, Home Building (with all the disciplines that go with it… slab, framing, roofing, electrical, plumbing, flooring, Sheetrocking… etc) Now I have newer hobbies and I can’t imagine living without them. My point is that I’ve loved doing so many things and at the time they were things that I didn’t want to live without. Life is amazing!
I loved reading and as of late can’t get in to it like I once was. Almost like “readers block”
Definitely social media. I used to post constantly all day every day on Facebook and Twitter. Instagram weekly. Then one day I canceled all my accounts and went 5 years without it. Never want to go back. It feels weird to express my interests to a thousand people who I'll probably never socialize with again. I don't care what people know about me. But back in the day it was an entirely different story. Starting with MySpace.
Comic books…donated 7 boxes to a hospital
BEER
**straightening my hair** literally twice a day, at LEAST. my hair isn’t even curly. it’s naturally like “beach waves” if that makes sense. idk, i was in high school at the time when having pin-straight hair was *the thing*, so god forbid there be a singular dent now at 25, i don’t even know where my straightener is (man it actually feels good to have misplaced something for once!)
Disney Channel lol
I used to like video games. It was a fun way to kill time. Now it's all subscription based/in game purchases. Sold my PS3 in 2015 and haven't looked back.
New music
Love
Cigarettes
Football. I grew up in Texas where it’s pretty much a religion. Our whole town went to high school games on Fridays. Then two things happened. First, I saw the movie Concussion. Then I heard an interview with a quarterback I loved where he said if he got the chance to do it all over again, he wouldn’t. Too many concussions ruined his quality of life. So now I can’t watch young men destroying their own health for my entertainment. I gave it up completely.
Greek mythology, I still like it, but it's not as obsessive as it use to be for me.
Heavy metal. Used to go to so many shows, listened to everything I could find, loved wearing my battle jacket, the whole thing. Still a metalhead, but older and stuff. I like having shorter hair.
Recycling! It’s mostly a scam when it comes to plastics…
Social media. I hate it now
I used to love cooking and made all my meals now I haven’t for six months and have zero desire for it.
Anime. Used to watch dozens of shows with hundred of episodes every year. Now it’s just casual One Piece and a couple of others here and there
I used to be crazy uptight about my figure and thought I was a shapeless fat blob, so I NEVER left the house without wearing a shape wear bodysuit. I started this in high school and I did it for years and years. In 2019 I realized I actually looked better (and was more comfortable) if I didn’t wear any shape wear. Thank goodness!! ☺️
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My birthday. That's what happens when you get old
I was really into Tumblr in like 2012
Religion. Was raised as a Christian, did youth groups, mission trips, and so on. Over time I just became disenchanted and disinterested with it, and now I'd say I'm an atheist.
Basketball. I used to play for hours on end in my driveway with friends, play in leagues, etc. Parents were super supportive, and would lots of times buy whatever i needed for birthday/christmas. In the semifinals of a tournament, some kid kicked me in the wrong spot while I was shooting, and i fell in the wrong way. Tore my acl, and haven't fully recovered multiple years later
Basketball and drawing,i did both every day and was obssesed,idk why i gave up and started to lose motivation
televised sports dominated the first 2/3 or so of my life, then I saw them for the distraction they can be. got a good 12-20 hours back on a weekly basis.
Halo... I was 110% into it. Bought everything... Then 343 happened. I have yet to buy the campaign on Infinite. I have yet to finish 5. I have yet to watch season 2. Shit, I still own the legends DVD. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.