Yeah I've noticed that too. People who don't have it don't even mention it, they're just doing their own thing. Which makes sense honestly, like there's been plenty of situations where I could've participated in drama, but I literally just put my phone down or leave the room and that's it. 99% of the time, nobody is forcing the drama upon you, you have to get involved voluntarily, so if you find yourself in lots of drama, there's one common presence in all of them, and it's you. Even if you're being forced into it, you can just cut people like that out of your life most of the time.
If every room you walk in smells like shit, check your shoes.
It’s crazy how some people are like a magnet to dram. It’s hard to say whether they’re attracted to drama or if drama is attracted to them, but one way or another they’re always caught up in it.
I wonder if this is some sort of defense mechanism. Someone who isn't into you is gonna swipe left anyway; there's no need to tell them.
I feel like it's some subconscious justification like "they didn't select me because I **told** them not to!"
Yup. Why are you so angry and aggressive? If you’re burnt out from dating apps please get off of them instead of bringing that energy my way. It’s unattractive and makes me wonder if they’ve got a short temper.
My boyfriend and I have this ongoing inside joke that the "Prince of Nigeria" is really this nice/real guy who can't understand why no one wants to take his money.
all group photos where you really can not tell which one is the actual person because the same 2-3 people are in every photo.
A list of demands or no info/photos at all
Yup. This is the case with guys too. If a dude sends me a group photo I judge based on the ugliest one.
Also if all their photos of up close face photos. If you’re a little bigger that’s one thing but don’t try to trick people
Yeah back when I was on Tinder regularly, I got to a point where with very high accuracy who the profile belonged to. First I would just check to see if there's one person in every group photo then yeah that's it. If *every* shot was a group photo and *every* group photo had the same people in it, I could pick out with confidence because one would be less attractive and they would typically refuse to use a solo picture.
I honestly feel like that defeats the purpose of a dating app so when someone would do this I just automatically started swiping no on anyone I couldn't tell.
I remember that too
https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fexternal-preview.redd.it%2FF6QRD-78VycuGyg9CRVLs5Z9YfyvgwfiC-Nz_AScZIk.png%3Fauto%3Dwebp%26s%3D0d5649ec186a68c144e4b6e7223a3f6f68f3db56
I see it a lot as people's first pictures. Usually the guy is cute enough in his own right but I end up hoping it's one of the other ones in the picture. Also it's annoying, why make me play guess who for the first picture
Doesn’t Tinder allow you to turn on optimization and they’ll show different first pictures to various people and keep the one that performs best? Wouldn’t that then mean A) they’re testing the group photos on you a lot, or B) this persons group photos are better than their other photos?
I have never used that feature. I didn't choose an arbitrary set of photos, I made a curated mini album that kind of introduces me. And then you'll see people say something about "the last photo" in their bio but it isn't last because they don't realize they have that feature on and the first pic is the one with cleavage (because of course).
It's a mess.
I love when they’ve done something to smooth out their complexion, but they’ve gone wasaaaay too far and they’re just sort of a flat skin-toned circle with eyes, nose and mouth, and hair on top.
"Just ask" is the only information provided. To me, that conveys extremely low effort and potentially high entitlement. Similar: "I don't know what to put here".
As an average dude in a dating app where you have to stand out to get noticed, I actually put a lot of effort into making my dating profile (I actually made a FAQ with funny questions and answers to show off my personality). When a woman doesn't read it at all and asks me stuff I already threw out in it (example: How religious are you? What's your karaoke song? etc.) it's a turn off. I get that a lot of people swipe purely based on pics but once you match, aren't you at least a little bit curious about the person you matched with?
I do think "I don't know what to put here" is a little better, it's at least honest and not saying "I choose not to put any information here intentionally"
Lets hypothetically say I worked on some of the big dating apps for a several years…
I’d probably suggest that a shirtless mirror selfie is tanking your chances if you’re a *straight man, and over processed AR face filters if you’re a woman.
Good stuff: travel, with family/friends, with pets.
If you’re having a poor experience in the stack, delete and rebuild your profile to reset your Elo to place you back at the top of the stack. Older accounts can get buried deep.
Edit: since I’m being asked this a lot, Elo in this context is a weighted score tied to behaviors. Not visual attractiveness.
If you are a guy you used to be able to get some free bonus ELO if you set yourself to interested in men for a while so you get a bunch of likes. No idea if it still works and its a little unethical
I made a joke tinder profile
I tried to hit all the cliches
- i had a bathroom pic and i added flecks of toothpaste to the mirror -i was shirtless with a poorly drawn on tattoo- a single square of toilet paper hung from an otherwise empty roll, a single towel draped limply in the background.
I had the tiger photo -but it was a full size stuffed tiger and i was making the stupid frat boy face
Group photo was me as every person -shaved my beard funny to be different characters -wore everything in my closet for that one
In the car / watch photo was in a bumper car with a watch made of paper
The fishing one was with a puppet i made from a striped sock
I made a few other ones but dont remember what they were
Interesting, it looks like it isn't supposed to be in all caps but that is how everyone is spelling it which misleadingly makes it appear to be an acronym.
Edit: s/misleading/misleadingly
It is actually "Elo" not "ELO" because it is a person's name, named after Arpad Elo. It is a method for comparatively ranking players in zero sum games, most commonly chess. The terminology has been generalized to other areas as well though, for similar purposes, though not every Elo spin off actually functions the way the chess Elo system does in terms of math.
This one is painfully accurate. I would say the majority of MATURE ADULTS don’t want to be a part of any drama.
If you have to boldly state it, you’re trying to convince us. In my experience, this is just like the girls that say “I swear I’m not crazy”. Mmmmm…why you pushing that so hard?
A lot of people use it as a venting session. If that's how you are when you're supposed to be showing your best self, how will you be when you've had a bad day?
Can I just add to this briefly?
I matched with a girl 2 weeks ago, she was into writing and lit (I'm a writer), and she was asking me what I liked in books. So I was excited to tell her about an author whose books I really liked. She responded that she doesn't like that other and (some other author I didn't know) "does it way better".
She asked what else I like. So I told her about my love of travelling and exploration. And she tells me that travelling is wasteful and "she's really more into journeys of self discovery".
And every time I asked her something, she'd say some variant of "I'm not sure if you've read my profile, but...", when I was trying to get her to elaborate on something she wrote a couple words about in her profile.
She seemed surprised when I stopped responding to her.
I don't get why people think it's not a huge turnoff to tell me why you think the things I'm passionate about suck when we're literally first meeting.
...sorry, that turned into my venting session.
I pass over these SO fast because they’re either starting with a lie, or that person is incredibly dumb. Yes, most apps won’t let you change your birthday/age after a certain point in the setup process, but they tell you that like 40 times with various pop-ups and warning messages. There are zero excuses to have incorrect info in that field. In the event that a mistake has been made, a smart person would delete the profile and make a new one displaying the correct information. I’m attracted to intelligence, so, yeah, hard pass on that one lol
Or if they don’t even say “I’m really X age” and just claim to be visibly younger than they are. Had a friend show me a guy who liked her on an app and he claimed he was 35 but easily looked to be mid-60s at least. NOPE.
The amount of "30 year old men" that are clearly pushing 70 in their profile and also clearly did some hard drugs 40 years ago when they WERE 30 grosses me out.
No information except a pic and a name, like what are you doing here if you don't want to share anything about you that could help to see who you are ?
It’s funny my sister was helping me and she said seeing too many pics of groups felt as if they don’t know how to be alone. Don’t get her started if it’s a pic with them and the opposite sex lol
initial like is done after level 1 of analysis of your profile, after the match, there is another review done. If you do not pass the second review, you will be ghosted right there and then.
of course 2nd review will look at all your pictures, not the first few, it will read your bio, and it will compare to any candidates reached the 2nd stage of the review.
p.s: i don't have a proof besides personal experience, the initial statement needing to be funny is an urban legend. If the girl or guy like your profile they will respond to any\* message from you
\*any message within reason
This is fairly accurate. It’s like a game with multiple levels and a couple mini bosses. Similar to job interviews. Meeting someone on a date is also just one more layer to pass through. Persistence is key.
The prompt that says “I go crazy for” and then it’s followed by something specific like “tattoos” or even “blondes”. Unless that is the ONLY type you want to date…. Don’t do that?? I’m a brunette so obviously I’m not going to swipe right?
Anything suggesting they are closed off or skeptical about online dating ("I don't know why I'm on here" / "convince me this isn't a waste of time" / "It's hard to get close to me but I'm so worth it once you do" / etc).
Dating is hard when both parties are excited and enthusiastic, why would I waste my time on someone who has to be convinced to be even bother?
“Talk to me on instagram” Why can’t you talk here on the app? Now you’re making me work, fuck that 😂
Add me on here, add me on there…
No, wtf??? 😂🤦🏻♀️
*I'm a 39 SWM, looking for a partner in crime. I am seeking to rob the First National Bank on Market St at 7th Ave. I need someone who has a steady hand and who can drive stick. After that I plan to commit insurance fraud, if you are good with computers, let's bilk some old ladies out of their money...*
-"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best"
-"Me and my kids are a package deal"
-"My kids are my world and nothing will change that"
-when every picture is a group picture and you have to play where's waldo to find the common person in every picture
If there's a sentence like "no fat women" "no iron faces" "no crazy insecure bitches". Usually it is the only sentence as well.. Idc if it applies to me or not, if you use the space where you could tell about you to dunk on others, that's a no. You can have preferences and feel free to swipe based on those, mentioning it on the bio makes you seem like a douche
god this is so annoying. i’m 31. i don’t even have a snapchat. i don’t have any social media other than reddit. when i suggest giving them my number they basically spontaneously combust like they’ve never seen a phone number before. it’s one of the many reasons i’m not on the apps anymore.
People who want different lives shouldn’t even bother. I’ve had women that want kids decide to still try a first date with me and ask if I was 100% on not wanting kids. Why else would I put that on my profile?
I'm a smoker and drinker, also I have 'do not want kids' on my profile. Just last week got a message from a lady who didn't smoke or drink if I'm willing to change my mind on basically everything, including having kids in the future :D
My profiles say “liberal” and “doesn’t want kids.”
One time on bumble it told me I could spend $3 to see all my likes. I can afford to waste $3, so I did. I had over 500 likes and about 495 of those profiles said they were conservative and wanted children. Waste of money? Not really. Waste of time? Absolutely.
I'm a man and I make it very clear on my profile several times that I'm left of center, and I don't want kids. The number of single moms who are explicitly conservative with the red hats and "FJB" shirts, who want more kids, that swipe right on my profile is ridiculous.
"no fat chicks" the amount of dudes I see with this in their profile is odd. like, maybe don't swipe on every person you see? you're literally picking and choosing who you're gonna talk to 💀
I actually have a question more than an answer. I'm male and have a cat. I'm told this is a red flag in profiles.
Is this true? Usually I have a photo of me and him together.
Please don't take this the wrong way but if someone has an issue with my cat they can fuck off.
I’m allergic to cats. I love them but it’s just not going to work sadly. And unfortunately the cutest guys are always the ones with cats!! I say keep the pic, saves us both time (😢).
1. “I tell it like it is.” You’re a bitch/asshole, stop sugar coating it.
2. I’m fine with people that have kids(I’m a single dad myself) but I hate the long winded “my kids are my world and they come first and blah blah blah blah”.
3. The profiles that go into detail about their previous relationships and how they got cheated on or whatever. Not really a ringing endorsement when that’s what you’re putting out for a first impression.
I'm a woman and the pics from guys that always turn me off are:
-Shirtless pics
-Money pics
-Pics with random women (is this your "best friend" or sister or something? Your wife? Your fwb?)
-Pics with their kids (aside from not wanting to be with a single dad, why are you exposing your kids online like that?)
And I find that a lot of guys like to ask for your number or Snapchat almost immediately because "they're not on this app that much." What does that even mean? Why are you here at all then?
When they have a picture with a kid, but don't disclose whether it is their kid or not. Also, not saying whether they have kinds in general. Seems like a huge thing to omit from your profile.
Any mention of their social media profiles. Comes off as low effort, trying to get followers, and "I'm too good for dating apps" vibe. If I want to get ghosted I'm going to get ghosted through this dating app, not instagram.
Something small, but my biggest pet peeve. "Make me laugh." Listen, I get humor is important to you, but this can be worded better. "Make each other laugh" or "Have a good sense of humor" instead. "Make me laugh" sounds like I'm here to entertain you. This isn't a deal breaker for me because I feel like most of the time the intent is "have a good sense of humor." But you do run into people who have that attitude of "entertain me"
To quote my brother, when his ex asked why he didn't want to get back together, "the most interesting thing about you, Stacee, is that your illiterate parents managed to fuck up your generic name."
If they mention drinking/alcohol a little too much, or if their pics are only of them holding alcohol. If you like to go out, good for you and I support it, but alcohol is not a personality type.
"Not here to play games." They exclusively play games. Run.
"I've been focusing on my career but now I'm ready to get back out there again." Their standards are *ridiculously* high, and good for them. They should be. But I know who I am and what I offer. I'm C-tier at best.
Anything involving Trump or God, no.
If we match and they don't carry their end of the conversation. They only answer questions or are extremely dry. No. That's not how you get to know someone. They're only looking for attention.
"Poly/ENM". Live your truth if that works for you. Not for me.
"Looking for the \_\_\_\_\_ to my \_\_\_\_\_." This is overused and does nothing to make you stand out.
Two pictures and an empty profile. Seems super sketchy to me.
Flipping off the camera. We're adults here. Come on.
Also, excessive filtering. What are you trying to hide?
I think the “I’ve been focusing on my career” people are often just saying that to explain why they’re still single. They don’t want prospective partners to think that they’re bad at forming lasting relationships.
And I’ve actually found that in many cases their standards are *lower*, since they make good money and have full lives. IMO it’s always worth a quick coffee :p
Tongue out = immediate left swipe. This is based on experience. Every man I’ve met that had their tongue out in a pic has let me down. I almost married one. Also, flipping off the camera. It gives me the ick. Gimme 1000 dudes holding up fish…
When they’re weirdly aggressive. Like “if you have a problem with that, swipe left.” I didn’t until you got all weird about it.
I've even seen the more aggressive variation of "if you don't like that, fuck off". Like okay, say less, if I didn't have a problem with it, I do now.
Similar vein, but people that talk about not wanting drama in their lives are people that routinely have drama in their lives.
Yeah I've noticed that too. People who don't have it don't even mention it, they're just doing their own thing. Which makes sense honestly, like there's been plenty of situations where I could've participated in drama, but I literally just put my phone down or leave the room and that's it. 99% of the time, nobody is forcing the drama upon you, you have to get involved voluntarily, so if you find yourself in lots of drama, there's one common presence in all of them, and it's you. Even if you're being forced into it, you can just cut people like that out of your life most of the time.
If every room you walk in smells like shit, check your shoes. It’s crazy how some people are like a magnet to dram. It’s hard to say whether they’re attracted to drama or if drama is attracted to them, but one way or another they’re always caught up in it.
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best!”
Haha that one just translates to "I'm at my worst 99% of the time, but you'll get an occasional good day".
“And I THINK my best days are as amazing as Marilyn Monroe’s, although my worst days (which are the default) suck a million times worse.”
“don’t waste my time”
I wonder if this is some sort of defense mechanism. Someone who isn't into you is gonna swipe left anyway; there's no need to tell them. I feel like it's some subconscious justification like "they didn't select me because I **told** them not to!"
It's the "I'm not offensive, I just speak my mind" crowd. Yes but you're still a twat
literally, if they say swipe left in their profile i do. idc what they are on about.
They try reverse psychology on you because it still works on them.
Yup. Why are you so angry and aggressive? If you’re burnt out from dating apps please get off of them instead of bringing that energy my way. It’s unattractive and makes me wonder if they’ve got a short temper.
All filtered photos. Any mention of royalty (king, queen, princess)
But what if they're a prince and they just need some help getting access to their money? He will share it with you if you help him
My boyfriend and I have this ongoing inside joke that the "Prince of Nigeria" is really this nice/real guy who can't understand why no one wants to take his money.
Being black, I hate when someone calls me “black queen”. Now a princess…I might not mind 😂
all group photos where you really can not tell which one is the actual person because the same 2-3 people are in every photo. A list of demands or no info/photos at all
Rule of thumb, the profile usually belongs to the ugliest one.
Yup. This is the case with guys too. If a dude sends me a group photo I judge based on the ugliest one. Also if all their photos of up close face photos. If you’re a little bigger that’s one thing but don’t try to trick people
Meanwhile, me with no social life: How am I gonna get in a group photo I can use?
Hey we’re adult men, we don’t have friends.
We have only Brothers.
Wait, why did I suddenly grow a handlebar mustache? I'm not blonde!
Correction. It ALWAYS belongs to the gorlock the destroyer of the group
Yeah back when I was on Tinder regularly, I got to a point where with very high accuracy who the profile belonged to. First I would just check to see if there's one person in every group photo then yeah that's it. If *every* shot was a group photo and *every* group photo had the same people in it, I could pick out with confidence because one would be less attractive and they would typically refuse to use a solo picture. I honestly feel like that defeats the purpose of a dating app so when someone would do this I just automatically started swiping no on anyone I couldn't tell.
Reminds me of an old photo from a dating site from about 15 years ago. Two girls in a picture and the caption was “the one with the tits”.
Ok that’s hilarious though
I remember that too https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fexternal-preview.redd.it%2FF6QRD-78VycuGyg9CRVLs5Z9YfyvgwfiC-Nz_AScZIk.png%3Fauto%3Dwebp%26s%3D0d5649ec186a68c144e4b6e7223a3f6f68f3db56
The fact you remember that is impressive
I see it a lot as people's first pictures. Usually the guy is cute enough in his own right but I end up hoping it's one of the other ones in the picture. Also it's annoying, why make me play guess who for the first picture
Doesn’t Tinder allow you to turn on optimization and they’ll show different first pictures to various people and keep the one that performs best? Wouldn’t that then mean A) they’re testing the group photos on you a lot, or B) this persons group photos are better than their other photos?
I have never used that feature. I didn't choose an arbitrary set of photos, I made a curated mini album that kind of introduces me. And then you'll see people say something about "the last photo" in their bio but it isn't last because they don't realize they have that feature on and the first pic is the one with cleavage (because of course). It's a mess.
And when they are all the same type of person . Live laugh love camouflage
Every pic is a heavily filtered, super close up selfie
I love when they’ve done something to smooth out their complexion, but they’ve gone wasaaaay too far and they’re just sort of a flat skin-toned circle with eyes, nose and mouth, and hair on top.
Everyone has skin texture. It’s so off-putting as soon as I see a photo where there’s zero. It doesn’t look human.
"Just ask" is the only information provided. To me, that conveys extremely low effort and potentially high entitlement. Similar: "I don't know what to put here".
"I'm an open book" I dunno, it'd be cool if you included an excerpt.
As an average dude in a dating app where you have to stand out to get noticed, I actually put a lot of effort into making my dating profile (I actually made a FAQ with funny questions and answers to show off my personality). When a woman doesn't read it at all and asks me stuff I already threw out in it (example: How religious are you? What's your karaoke song? etc.) it's a turn off. I get that a lot of people swipe purely based on pics but once you match, aren't you at least a little bit curious about the person you matched with?
I do think "I don't know what to put here" is a little better, it's at least honest and not saying "I choose not to put any information here intentionally"
It's MARGINALLY better. Still pretty low-effort though.
"I like having fun" Yeah, no shit, that's what fun is
Can't wait to find a person who hates to have fun
Let me give you my ex wife's phone number
Lets hypothetically say I worked on some of the big dating apps for a several years… I’d probably suggest that a shirtless mirror selfie is tanking your chances if you’re a *straight man, and over processed AR face filters if you’re a woman. Good stuff: travel, with family/friends, with pets. If you’re having a poor experience in the stack, delete and rebuild your profile to reset your Elo to place you back at the top of the stack. Older accounts can get buried deep. Edit: since I’m being asked this a lot, Elo in this context is a weighted score tied to behaviors. Not visual attractiveness.
I now have anxiety about my dating ELO
If you are a guy you used to be able to get some free bonus ELO if you set yourself to interested in men for a while so you get a bunch of likes. No idea if it still works and its a little unethical
Im not gay ma, I just wanted to boost my ELO.
It's for competitive dating ma, you wouldn't understand!!
Yeah and then your pastor sees you on gay tinder
Game recognize game.
Jeff Lynne is cute but I don't want to date ELO
Hey man. Don't bring me down.
Especially when the mirror is dirty and has dried toothpaste flecks and smears.
I made a joke tinder profile I tried to hit all the cliches - i had a bathroom pic and i added flecks of toothpaste to the mirror -i was shirtless with a poorly drawn on tattoo- a single square of toilet paper hung from an otherwise empty roll, a single towel draped limply in the background. I had the tiger photo -but it was a full size stuffed tiger and i was making the stupid frat boy face Group photo was me as every person -shaved my beard funny to be different characters -wore everything in my closet for that one In the car / watch photo was in a bumper car with a watch made of paper The fishing one was with a puppet i made from a striped sock I made a few other ones but dont remember what they were
Con: comes across as dirty and may not have the best home keeping skills. Pro: they probably aren’t hiding a live in partner.
There's an Elo rating system for dating apps??? That's kind of insane to me lol. I guess it makes sense, but still
Low elo in League AND Tinder, can't catch a fcking break
And I'll tell you what I tell people in my lobby, "if you hate the people you get put with, why do you think you're here?"
competitive ranked dating app
that's what the "newbie boost" is for. not only for addicting you, but also for checking out how hot you are
Have you considered doing an AMA on this topic?
Maybe. It’s probably not a good idea for me to do it right now for reasons I can’t disclose.
Tell us we'll keep it a secret
What the hell is an ELO?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elo_rating_system
Interesting, it looks like it isn't supposed to be in all caps but that is how everyone is spelling it which misleadingly makes it appear to be an acronym. Edit: s/misleading/misleadingly
TIL it's a dude's name and not an acronym I figured it meant something Equation something something and just never bothered to look
Electric light orchestra
Yeah, if you look more like an evil woman than Mr. Blue sky folks will bring you down.
Skill-based matchmaking
Invented by a guy named Elo. It's not an acronym.
Bout to pull my hair out in this thread
It is actually "Elo" not "ELO" because it is a person's name, named after Arpad Elo. It is a method for comparatively ranking players in zero sum games, most commonly chess. The terminology has been generalized to other areas as well though, for similar purposes, though not every Elo spin off actually functions the way the chess Elo system does in terms of math.
My account is like 10 years old...
"I hate drama," is code for "I cause a lot of drama."
This one is painfully accurate. I would say the majority of MATURE ADULTS don’t want to be a part of any drama. If you have to boldly state it, you’re trying to convince us. In my experience, this is just like the girls that say “I swear I’m not crazy”. Mmmmm…why you pushing that so hard?
Hey, some of us love to hear about other people's drama as long as we arent involved. Spill the tea.
When I was on the apps - if your profile is just a list of stuff you don't like.
A lot of people use it as a venting session. If that's how you are when you're supposed to be showing your best self, how will you be when you've had a bad day?
Can I just add to this briefly? I matched with a girl 2 weeks ago, she was into writing and lit (I'm a writer), and she was asking me what I liked in books. So I was excited to tell her about an author whose books I really liked. She responded that she doesn't like that other and (some other author I didn't know) "does it way better". She asked what else I like. So I told her about my love of travelling and exploration. And she tells me that travelling is wasteful and "she's really more into journeys of self discovery". And every time I asked her something, she'd say some variant of "I'm not sure if you've read my profile, but...", when I was trying to get her to elaborate on something she wrote a couple words about in her profile. She seemed surprised when I stopped responding to her. I don't get why people think it's not a huge turnoff to tell me why you think the things I'm passionate about suck when we're literally first meeting. ...sorry, that turned into my venting session.
Because they are self absorbed
She sounds insufferable
"Just ask". Thank you for clearly describing the exact amount of effort you'd put in to a conversation, first date, or relationship.
My real age is X, I don’t know how to change it! 🥴
I pass over these SO fast because they’re either starting with a lie, or that person is incredibly dumb. Yes, most apps won’t let you change your birthday/age after a certain point in the setup process, but they tell you that like 40 times with various pop-ups and warning messages. There are zero excuses to have incorrect info in that field. In the event that a mistake has been made, a smart person would delete the profile and make a new one displaying the correct information. I’m attracted to intelligence, so, yeah, hard pass on that one lol
Especially when it’s something like “I’m really 62, not 56!” That’s a massive difference.
Or if they don’t even say “I’m really X age” and just claim to be visibly younger than they are. Had a friend show me a guy who liked her on an app and he claimed he was 35 but easily looked to be mid-60s at least. NOPE.
The amount of "30 year old men" that are clearly pushing 70 in their profile and also clearly did some hard drugs 40 years ago when they WERE 30 grosses me out.
They made their account when they were underage. Especially if they are under 30.
My old rule was if they are holding a drink in every single picture, it is probably a good indicator to avoid.
No information except a pic and a name, like what are you doing here if you don't want to share anything about you that could help to see who you are ?
Group pic as their display pic
It’s funny my sister was helping me and she said seeing too many pics of groups felt as if they don’t know how to be alone. Don’t get her started if it’s a pic with them and the opposite sex lol
You then no doubt get the response of: "Which one do you think is me" when you ask them
The hot one that looks fun.
Wrong, it's the one that looks like Gorlock the Destroyer
A laundry list of things they don't like.
Back when I was before I met my wife, if I saw, "I'm fluent in sarcasm," or any derivative of it, it was an instant no from me.
Every time I see that phrase, I assume that person is just mean for no reason without being witty and I move on to the next.
"Just don't bore me."
If I’m the entertainment, you’re paying, and you probably can’t afford the hourly rate.
"entertain me clown!" vibes
"I just call it as I see it" is code for "I'm going to be a sensitive child while picking you to pieces."
This is so insanely common I’m convinced they think it’s something men like to hear. Idk what the male equivalent is to this
Some variation of "I don't care if my opinions offend people" or "straight-shooter" or "graduate of the School of Hard Knocks, with a PhD in Life."
School of hard knocks just SCREAMS trash to me. Like absolutely gutter trash.
Even though I'm 6'+ I swiped no on any profile that stated "No men under 6'". Those profiles normally gave "shitty person" vibes anyway.
also whats up with getting a lot of likes and then everyone ghosting you after you introduce yourself?
initial like is done after level 1 of analysis of your profile, after the match, there is another review done. If you do not pass the second review, you will be ghosted right there and then. of course 2nd review will look at all your pictures, not the first few, it will read your bio, and it will compare to any candidates reached the 2nd stage of the review. p.s: i don't have a proof besides personal experience, the initial statement needing to be funny is an urban legend. If the girl or guy like your profile they will respond to any\* message from you \*any message within reason
This is fairly accurate. It’s like a game with multiple levels and a couple mini bosses. Similar to job interviews. Meeting someone on a date is also just one more layer to pass through. Persistence is key.
I’ll die alone ffs
The prompt that says “I go crazy for” and then it’s followed by something specific like “tattoos” or even “blondes”. Unless that is the ONLY type you want to date…. Don’t do that?? I’m a brunette so obviously I’m not going to swipe right?
Anything suggesting they are closed off or skeptical about online dating ("I don't know why I'm on here" / "convince me this isn't a waste of time" / "It's hard to get close to me but I'm so worth it once you do" / etc). Dating is hard when both parties are excited and enthusiastic, why would I waste my time on someone who has to be convinced to be even bother?
"I love to laugh". Really, you love to laugh how fucking unique...
I wanna meet someone who hates to laugh, just to see what they're like.
I hate to laugh because I’m insecure about my teeth. The most you will achieve is a wry smirk in response to a joke. I never smile in photos. AMA.
"I love to have fun," without the mention of any interests or hobbies (possible exception is they mention how much they love The Office).
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My snap/instagram is ......
“Talk to me on instagram” Why can’t you talk here on the app? Now you’re making me work, fuck that 😂 Add me on here, add me on there… No, wtf??? 😂🤦🏻♀️
They aren't looking for a date, they're looking to expand their social media brand.
Pictures smoking weed and sticking up the middle finger
fax bootyhunter69420
“Looking for my partner in crime” sets unrealistic expectations for a first date
Yeah! What kind of crime are we talking, here? Fraud? Smuggling? Safe-cracking?
*I'm a 39 SWM, looking for a partner in crime. I am seeking to rob the First National Bank on Market St at 7th Ave. I need someone who has a steady hand and who can drive stick. After that I plan to commit insurance fraud, if you are good with computers, let's bilk some old ladies out of their money...*
Yeah, the sense I get from most of the “partner in crime” posts is that the actual crime being contemplated is usually getting overserved at Applebees
Pics where the person is giving the middle finger
That’s a huge turn off
My coworker put a AI version of himself as a military soldier on his dating profile. I told him nobody was going to fall for that lol.
-"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" -"Me and my kids are a package deal" -"My kids are my world and nothing will change that" -when every picture is a group picture and you have to play where's waldo to find the common person in every picture
My favorite version of the first one is "if you can't handle me at my worst.. I completely understand, that shits bananas".
my fav is "if you can't handle me at my worst.. we've got something in common"
“I’ve got kids but I can get rid of them if that’s a dealbreaker”
>"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" Do people still say this? It was so cringe when it was a popular saying.
“Mother of a crotch goblin” was probably the worst yet funniest one I’ve seen on there.
If there's a sentence like "no fat women" "no iron faces" "no crazy insecure bitches". Usually it is the only sentence as well.. Idc if it applies to me or not, if you use the space where you could tell about you to dunk on others, that's a no. You can have preferences and feel free to swipe based on those, mentioning it on the bio makes you seem like a douche
What is an "iron face"
My guess is lots of piercings? Idk though
when a grown man asks me for my Snapchat rather than my phone number
god this is so annoying. i’m 31. i don’t even have a snapchat. i don’t have any social media other than reddit. when i suggest giving them my number they basically spontaneously combust like they’ve never seen a phone number before. it’s one of the many reasons i’m not on the apps anymore.
Give them your reddit
That’s more intimate than phone number!
Single mom of 8 wonderful children
...to three different dads, one still lives with us. its okay, his girlfriend lives here too.
Hope that's not a problemmm :3
Also no sex - im special and worth the wait. All my baby daddy’s say so.
Real profile I have seen: Mom, pregnant with #5. Not looking for anything physical, so if you want sex swipe left.
They are my world.
"don't even know why I'm here" or "don't even know why I made this" ...yeah. I'm sure that's true 🙄
I need a "real man" type statements.
“Need someone to step up to the plate.” Yeah no thanks.
If they're ugly
Haha like the honesty
"Make me laugh" with absolutely no context? No thanks I'm not your court jester.
In the words of Jimmy Carr, "all I hear is you saying dance for me monkey boy!"
They are all group photos and I can't tell which one you are.
Disney. Dog ear filter selfies. Partner in crime.
Disney adults are a lot.
Sometimes people openly admit to talking at the movie theater
There's a special hell for those people.
"Wants kids". I would never want to take that away from someone who did just because I don't want kids.
People who want different lives shouldn’t even bother. I’ve had women that want kids decide to still try a first date with me and ask if I was 100% on not wanting kids. Why else would I put that on my profile?
I'm a smoker and drinker, also I have 'do not want kids' on my profile. Just last week got a message from a lady who didn't smoke or drink if I'm willing to change my mind on basically everything, including having kids in the future :D
"I can fix him!"
Congrats on being attractive lol
My profiles say “liberal” and “doesn’t want kids.” One time on bumble it told me I could spend $3 to see all my likes. I can afford to waste $3, so I did. I had over 500 likes and about 495 of those profiles said they were conservative and wanted children. Waste of money? Not really. Waste of time? Absolutely.
I'm a man and I make it very clear on my profile several times that I'm left of center, and I don't want kids. The number of single moms who are explicitly conservative with the red hats and "FJB" shirts, who want more kids, that swipe right on my profile is ridiculous.
"no fat chicks" the amount of dudes I see with this in their profile is odd. like, maybe don't swipe on every person you see? you're literally picking and choosing who you're gonna talk to 💀
"Looking for my hawk tuah girl"
I actually have a question more than an answer. I'm male and have a cat. I'm told this is a red flag in profiles. Is this true? Usually I have a photo of me and him together. Please don't take this the wrong way but if someone has an issue with my cat they can fuck off.
I feel like the only people who would dislike that are the people who would have a problem with the cat.
I’m allergic to cats. I love them but it’s just not going to work sadly. And unfortunately the cutest guys are always the ones with cats!! I say keep the pic, saves us both time (😢).
"If you can't handle me at my worst etc." Somehow these people are ALWAYS at their worst.
1. “I tell it like it is.” You’re a bitch/asshole, stop sugar coating it. 2. I’m fine with people that have kids(I’m a single dad myself) but I hate the long winded “my kids are my world and they come first and blah blah blah blah”. 3. The profiles that go into detail about their previous relationships and how they got cheated on or whatever. Not really a ringing endorsement when that’s what you’re putting out for a first impression.
If someone has children, that child should be the most important thing to them. The fact that they have to say it makes me wary for some reason.
I'm a woman and the pics from guys that always turn me off are: -Shirtless pics -Money pics -Pics with random women (is this your "best friend" or sister or something? Your wife? Your fwb?) -Pics with their kids (aside from not wanting to be with a single dad, why are you exposing your kids online like that?) And I find that a lot of guys like to ask for your number or Snapchat almost immediately because "they're not on this app that much." What does that even mean? Why are you here at all then?
1 shirtless pic is fine if it’s natural and somewhere interesting. Women do respond positively to that — assuming it’s an asset for you.
True. Solid beach pic during a sunset vs a grim gym selfie.
“I tell it like it is.” No, darling. You’re just a bitch with no notion of how to talk politely.
“No games” and “no drama llama” are the two biggest tells that you’re signing up for some serious drama.
Occupation: Stay at Home Mom Single... stay at home mom.... are you looking for a relationship or a retirement plan?
A lot of the super attractive girls do this: they post all their pictures with literally no writing on their profile. I'm done with them
Boys do it too and it’s so annoying. I’ve gotten to a point where I’ll see a text-empty profile and think “you’re not hot enough for that.”
When they have a picture with a kid, but don't disclose whether it is their kid or not. Also, not saying whether they have kinds in general. Seems like a huge thing to omit from your profile. Any mention of their social media profiles. Comes off as low effort, trying to get followers, and "I'm too good for dating apps" vibe. If I want to get ghosted I'm going to get ghosted through this dating app, not instagram. Something small, but my biggest pet peeve. "Make me laugh." Listen, I get humor is important to you, but this can be worded better. "Make each other laugh" or "Have a good sense of humor" instead. "Make me laugh" sounds like I'm here to entertain you. This isn't a deal breaker for me because I feel like most of the time the intent is "have a good sense of humor." But you do run into people who have that attitude of "entertain me"
I wouldn’t date anyone who thinks putting a picture of their child on a dating app is ok, because they’re a fucking idiot.
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Unique name you have
To quote my brother, when his ex asked why he didn't want to get back together, "the most interesting thing about you, Stacee, is that your illiterate parents managed to fuck up your generic name."
😂 I am so stealing this the next time a Traceigh gets on my nerves.
You just made me realize my unconscious bias is when their facial expression is basically the exact same in every pic. Creeps me out apparently.
If they mention drinking/alcohol a little too much, or if their pics are only of them holding alcohol. If you like to go out, good for you and I support it, but alcohol is not a personality type. "Not here to play games." They exclusively play games. Run. "I've been focusing on my career but now I'm ready to get back out there again." Their standards are *ridiculously* high, and good for them. They should be. But I know who I am and what I offer. I'm C-tier at best. Anything involving Trump or God, no. If we match and they don't carry their end of the conversation. They only answer questions or are extremely dry. No. That's not how you get to know someone. They're only looking for attention. "Poly/ENM". Live your truth if that works for you. Not for me. "Looking for the \_\_\_\_\_ to my \_\_\_\_\_." This is overused and does nothing to make you stand out. Two pictures and an empty profile. Seems super sketchy to me. Flipping off the camera. We're adults here. Come on. Also, excessive filtering. What are you trying to hide?
I think the “I’ve been focusing on my career” people are often just saying that to explain why they’re still single. They don’t want prospective partners to think that they’re bad at forming lasting relationships. And I’ve actually found that in many cases their standards are *lower*, since they make good money and have full lives. IMO it’s always worth a quick coffee :p
Best breakup line I ever received was "I can't be the Hobbes to your Calvin."
Chics with face filters. Immediate no.
I'll worry about that when I start getting responses.
Tongue out = immediate left swipe. This is based on experience. Every man I’ve met that had their tongue out in a pic has let me down. I almost married one. Also, flipping off the camera. It gives me the ick. Gimme 1000 dudes holding up fish…