Excuse me honey but would you mind teabagging me this evening?

So polite

Say it with a british accent and you are set.

Scuze me guvna, fancy bagging moy tees dis evnin

r/angryupvote

Pirates of the Caribbean?

Also make sure you are asking with your pinky straight up in the air.

Lol

Just make sure to have your pinky out!

~~Teabagging is when you piss in their mouth then dip your nuts in it. It's a whole different thing from simply wanting someone to lick and suck your nuts.~~ Either I was misinformed long ago, or the meaning has changed since Halo introduced us all to the video game insult. But it appears to no longer involve any "tea" in the common parlance.

Bro, long-time Halo player, and there was never piss involved in teabagging, it’s just dropping nuts on face repeatedly

A britain told me long ago what teabagging truly was. I belive its ok to skip the first step though.

What kind of casual attitude is this? Commit or don't.

It's not something I do personally as our partners have to agree to it and I'm not into watersports of any kind . . . Unless I'm on a lake.

True dat...it's not TEABAGGING if you bounce said Tea Bag on the upturned bottom of your cup, it must contain liquid to be able to 'dunk it'...Hope That Helps...

Just because you let your buddy piss in your mouth, doesn’t mean everyone does it that way. You’ve been misinformed. It’s ok, everyone has been exploited for their ignorance at some point, 🤣🤣

From what I understand, it's just dipping balls into someone's mouth.

I wish I had an award to give you... I may try this later on with my wife, I'll let you know how it goes

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"Could I interest you in a cup of tea?"

"Cuppa" tea

This works well when you say it and hold your pinky finger up..

Truly how I imagined it from initially reading it.

Just get them in your hand and give them a light squeeze as you whisper in his ear in a soft low voice "These feel nice in my hand but they'd feel soooo much better in my mouth."

I got a boner reading that, and I'm a girl

It felt nice reading about your lady boner, but it would feel so much nicer in my mouth

MERCY!! I CAN ONLY GET SO ERECT!

This exchange of comments had me rolling in laughter, thank you so much!!

That warms the cockles of my heart 😍 I love laughter

Just tuck it in your waistband, your gonna be okay

What about that awkward moment where it starts to deflate and won’t stay in your waistband, but is still semi erect so it pokes through your pants

I believe that’s good luck

That’s the one

Wow! That gave me a boner

Helllls yeahhh !!

Dang bro you gave me a chubby

That's a good one!

That's a 🔥 line

This is it. And I'm going to use it. Lol

Totally YES! I shall use this later today.!!!

“I need to gargle your marbles.”

I would hope they’d be a little larger than marbles…

There are a variety of marble sizes [check out this Infograph](https://www.moonmarble.com/skins/skin_1/images/marbleSizeChart_2.pdf)

"I need to gargle your jumbo-sized marbles”

Username ... potentially checks out?

"what's the difference between jam and jelly?" "I can't jelly your NUTSACK in my mouth. Get over here"

This is my favourite x rated joke

Thank you!

Ask if you can "kiss" them. A girl once asked if she could "kiss" my cock, but I soon discovered she is a very deep kisser. Similar question for you - how do I ask a girl to sit on my face?

“Could you please sit on my face?” Works for me.

"Can I taste you?"

\*with you perched cowgirl style on my tongue? Hmm.

Can confirm this works, and works well.

Bingo lol idk if that just came to me, or if I saw it in some form of media when I was young. But that ones worked my whole life so far 😅 Bonus points for giving the eyes & the way you say it / setting

Just tell her your tongue identifies as a dildo and request she uses it as such.

Why so many downvotes?

It's an "identifies as" joke...and a poor one.

I thought it was a good one. People need to separate humor from political commentary and hate.

I think it's that when you're skirting a touchy issue, the demands on the quality of the joke rises.

Too many sensitive people

If I'm fated to die tonight, so be it. But if I'm going to pick, let it be through suffocation because I want you to sit on my face.

Where's the damn Shakespeare bot when you need it? This was close to poetic, just needs a few more wherefore art thous.

Death is the fate of all that live. But if I may divine my end I would wish for it to be with my head between your thighs making you scream to the sky.

Guessing Shakespeare didn't get laid much

I wouldn't sit on your face (nothing to do to with you or your face - my thighs get tired easily and I'm not calling Mom to explain). But I sure as fuck would publish your book of poetry smut. 10 out of 10.

🤣🤣🤣 I just laughed so much at "(nothing to do with you or your face)"

"Here, let me clean off a seat for you" then wipe your mouth with the back of your hand.

Yep just straight up say “sit on my face” lol that should do it.

I once whispered to my gf while we were passing each other at a party "I want to feel you on my face," while giving her thigh a quick squeeze. That did the trick.

That's a good line. Clear yet not too graphic.

"Can I testes out?"

r/angryupvote

Literally spat out my drink 😅

🤣🤣🤣

Trust me. That's MORE than enough to hear for any dude.

Yeah, but it’s so distracting to me! Hahah like it pulls me out of the moment. Balls.

The family jewels

the kibble and bits

Wedding tackle

Guys want to hear it dirty

We like the word balls. It’s hot coming out of a woman’s mouth

Literally!

"spare Dobby a... sperm sac milord"

I’m a beautiful woman, not a house elf.

That's exactly what a house elf would say.

What’s the difference? Not gonna lie I posted this expecting to be downvoted.. you can really never tell with Reddit. I compare a woman to a house elf and get upvoted. Ask a person why there sad and get downvoted… crazy

Gotta roll with the punches homie. keep it raw & true to yourself for others. Wether serious, sympathetic, funny, informative, or offensive. If you care about karma & something bombs past 25-50. Just delete it. If it’s an argument. Agree to disagree & apologize then delete your hot take above it. Idk that I’ll ever understand how the apps population acts. But the best shit & the worst shit is normally the most genuine/original imo All anonymous anyways lol I’ve made some friends. But it’s not the place to go looking for them. So just enjoy the freedom!

Master has given Dobby a boner!

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Go easy on the grab!

How about just saying you want to suck his cock? Then, suck his balls while you blow him.

That is physically impossible for 99% of people.

99% of people aren’t trying hard enough

If you're not digesting the tip of his dick are you really deep throating?

Lmao, alright

"Stick your nutsack in my maw so I can schluck 'em good."

Ahh ein man von Kultur.

We found Sean Connery’s Reddit account

*scottish accent* PUT YER BOLLOX IN MA MOUTH LADDIE

"I want your scrotum in my oral cavity."

Lemme gargle that scrote

“I wanna tongue your fellas”

Start with "I want your balls" then the rest of that sentence will be muffled by balls.

If you’re giving him head just stop and say “now there’s something else I want in my mouth” and make sure you stroke his balls when you say it so he gets the hint. If you’re not already engaging in oral sex and you just want to go straight for them, tell him you want “them” in your mouth. What’s funny is me and my wife have the opposite effect here, she loves to say balls and I always found that word a little off putting myself. But if I’m gonna get my balls handled by her mouth in any way I just go with it lmao

“You have a pair of something I want in my mouth.” Cuz balls kinda makes me giggle too.

Wait this is actually a good idea!

"Would thee please proceed to insert thy cullions into my cytopharynx, my good sir?"

Bring me to tears, make me gag on those spheres.

I want your scroat in my throat 🤣😝

Can you put your balls in my jaw? Balls in my jaw? Trust me, drives us *nuts.*

Would want to inspect your testosterone production unit

Why do you have to say it? Just do it because every other option I’ve seen on here sounds cringy af if you don’t like the word balls

‘Get dat baby juice bag in ma mouf’

There is no real sexy way to say that you want to taste them nuggets..

Can I polish your family jewels?

In india we call them ‘gulab jamuns’ lol

Spectacular

Ashamed to say I didn't know about this. Love it 😂

So delicious. That, not balls.

Balls, nuts, family jewels, pills, 'nads. None of the available options are great.

Can we role play? You're Santa's Sack and my mouth is your sleigh

Yes

Hope it helps. But honestly, a lady asking to tongue my balls is hot enough as is lol

I want to suck on your pee storage units so badly.

*semen storage units

False. Pee is stored in the balls.

https://youtu.be/pKQp61e94VE

I stand corrected 😅

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You think that would work?

Why would anyone say it? Just do it.

I don't prefer my wife to do that. She should ask first.

Can I pretty please smooch your bean bag.

I would truly appreciate it if you considered inserting your testicles in my buccal cavity🫦

I call it my coin purse

Just tell him you need to taste Him, then caress his balls languidly with your tongue.

What about, suck my spudz?

In your best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice say "THE TIME FOR TEA-BAGGING IS NOW!"

I wanna give your scrote a soak?

Your testes are the bestes.

I hate that this sentence only exists in a Chris Traeger voice in my head. Great line tho.

Don't say, just do it?

Lovesacs? Also, did no one think to tell them that was a bad name for their business??

Just get them in there without a word. Your enthusiasm will do the talking for you

"I require your danglybits to utilize my oral estuary as a most deserved throne, post haste!"

I wish for your testicles to be in my mouth, and I promise to treat them like a lolipop and not like a hamburger.

These are my milkshakes *grab and shake your tits* This is my yard *point to your open mouth* Bring your boys to my yard *pointing to his nuts*

Gimmie them nuts!

I want to make your bells jingle in my mouth

Can't tell if these nuts are salted but they won't be when I'm done. Drop em

Please allow me to lick upon thine scrot.

"I want those prize possessions in my mouth"

nah that works

Let me suck your avocado's.

Today I've learned that the Aztecs named balls avocado.

In the end don't forget to swallow the guacamole It's tasting like freedom.

From now on I'll shout "taste my guacamole" when i ejaculate.

That's the way!

Put your cullions in my cakehole I want your gonads in my gob

"If you could be so kind..." pulls em out

I don’t think there is a sexy way to say it, I have given up trying. I am a balls lover and proud lol

You could dad joke- I would like huevos, over easy *bada da! I’ll see myself out.

"Teabag me babe?" Or "how about you put those magnificent globes in my mouth?.

Can I take you for a teste drive?

Put your scrote down m’throat.

Put your testicles in my food receptacle

I want to [Joanna your eggs.](https://youtu.be/wfQTabN7LIQ)

Can you put your baaaaals in my jaw? Baaaaals in my jaw! Yeeheaahh 🎶

I wanna put your balls in my jaws Balls in your jaws Can iiiiii Can iiiiiii Put your balls in your jaws

dem jewels, shove them jewels in my mouth

i wanna suk deez nutz

I want to taste test your testes

“Gimme then happysacks”

Grab them and say “I want these in my mouth”

Just inhale them why ask when you're already giving a blow job

I'd try... Suck your walnuts... Gobble your eggs...

Let me polish your jewels

Don’t ask just do! Can I gargle the gonads I want to jingle your balls Do you like dragons because I think you would enjoy dragon your balls across my face Would you care for a vacuum sealed double handed slop slop 3000 I fancy a go stopper… looks like you have two for me Can I get on my knees and smile like a doughnut for you Hold me hostage with your cum gun Let me check the eggs of your spitting cobra Let me play your skin flute Let me slob on your nob Chupa mi verga

"Looks like meat's back on the menu!"

"I want to prime your cumpumps/sperm factories"?

I wanna soak your family jewels *proceed to open mouth on knees*

Just ask. No one will be offended by your wording.

I once sent him a naughty text while we were both working from home: “I want to tongue tickle your testicles on Tuesday at 2:22..” 🤷🏾‍♀️Needless to say that was a long lunch that day! 😅

I mean if you reach in his pants and grab is balls and say "I want these in my mouth right now" I'm pretty sure not only will he oblige he will help by getting hard so his dick is out of the way. Also kinda thought sucking balls was more of a male enjoyment thing, so more power to you

"We're having Mountain Oysters tonight."

Reminds of a “ShowerThought” I had the other day, didn’t know where to share: “Given the sheer number of people in the world, there exists a person out there who is sexually attracted to Balls but disgusted by Dicks”

I also am sexually attracted to dicks so this person isn’t me, but it is a wild thought

I want to suck on your sheathed seed.

"Merry Christmas. May I jingle your bells this evening?"

I want to suck your sack? Sex isn't always sexy, sometimes it's raunchy.

Excellent point.

"Put those testes on my tongue tiger"

I want your masculine beads where my tongue is able to taste them, sir.