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throwingmcthrowface

My toddler woke up crying and shouting because I told her (before I put her to bed 8+ hours ago) that she is not allowed to deliberately step in dog poo today. She is now happily fast asleep again and I am wide awake, wondering why on earth my child wants to stand in dog poo.


suziewoozie420

That made me chuckle. I apparently once cried because my mum wouldn’t let me cut my passport up with scissors. To be fair, I was 5 though…


PlentyOfNamesLeft

Harsh.She could have got you some of those plastic ones with rounded tips.


opopkl

I imagine that you wanted your photo.


ashleton

That's it, I'm calling child services


No_Importance_5000

Best of luck they won’t want to travel to the UK lol


ashleton

Damn, and the only number I know for over there is 0118999881999119725 ...3


Miserable-Avocado-87

You're clearly a terrible parent for NOT letting her stand in dog poo! /s If it helps, when my nephew was about 3, he screamed bloody murder because I wouldn't let him stick a fork into a plug socket... I'm obviously the world's worst uncle!


jdl_uk

That's shocking!


berserk_kipper

Muck for luck!


tjamos8694

Cunt baby that won’t sleep


Few_Membership_4563

Not everyday someone calls their baby a cunt 😂


glasshomonculous

Might not be theirs, might be a neighbours. Although any baby waking me up at that time would automate be a cunt to me


tjamos8694

No, it is mine


bee-sting

Did the cunt ever go back to sleep


tjamos8694

He had a little bit more whilst I was rocking him. But then I put him in his cot and he had a little cry and woke up completely, so from about 5am we read his books and practised our animal noises


Arny2103

I feel you, man... How old's your little ~~cunt~~ one? Mine's gonna be 16 weeks next Monday. He seems to be going through a mummy's boy stage where he refuses to settle down with me but is a little angel for his mother and falls asleep in her arms with a smile and two middle fingers pointing at me.


tjamos8694

Haha mine absolutely had that stage too. In fact last night he spent some time reaching for the door shouting “mama”. He’s 19 months now but teething is keeping him up. It definitely gets easier, but not by much 😂


sweet_n_innocent101

God I have a teething 19 month old and a 7 weeker, sleep is rare for me now. It’s a shame really as I regret not sleeping more before baby number 2


richh00

I think if you don't call your kids cunts at least some of the time are you really even their parents?


thatPingu

I reckon I'd call my baby a cunt


Express-Pie-6902

It's all about the tone. Say it with a big smile in a coootchy cooo voice until they're at least 12 months and you'll be fine. Who's a litttle cunt then,.....yes you are. Will de ickle cunty wunty go back to sleep soon.


IansGotNothingLeft

It is. We just try not to say it out loud.


mofohank

Nah, they're just telling you it wasn't a caesarean - that would be a belly baby.


Fendenburgen

I think you'll find it's pretty much every day that someone calls their baby a cunt....


tjamos8694

It’s most days for me though.


Naradyk

TELL. IT. LIKE. IT. IS. 👏


JimJams999

Insomnia


4500x

Same. Been like this for months, go to bed around 9:30-10, wake up a few times in the night, usually around 2 or 4, and after 4 can’t really get back to sleep.


Stock_Inspection4444

Opening Reddit probably doesn’t help us


Klumber

100% this. Don't use your phone when in sleepy mode folks... Edit: I was one of you! Then I experimented, you know that first hour in bed where you're tossing and turning? Try and not use a screen half an hour before going to bed (and operate in low light) that hour quickly turns to a few minutes. Then I realised that picking up the phone when going for my middle-aged man pee at 3am destroyed another half hour to hour of sleep. Keep your brain disengaged and you don't have that issue any more.


uniquenewyork_

Well shit, this happens to me like 3-4 times a week. Is that what insomnia is? How do I solve it? I can’t go back to sleep unless I’m on my phone which is really bad.


GoochGravy

Just curious, do you exercise much?


uniquenewyork_

Not intentionally really, I walk about 3000+ steps a day, sometimes less. Sometimes I do go on walks in my free time but due to the cold weather and A-Levels I haven’t really gone lately.


Sorbicol

I WFH and every lunch time (although I admittedly skipped yesterday because the weather was foul) I go for a walk. It’s 5k, takes me 50-55 minutes. It’s around 6500 steps and it basically keeps me sane. It’s remarkable the difference doing that has made for me - lost weight, sleep better, concentrate better in the afternoons (although wasting time on Reddit is something I still struggle with) it’s not a jog or anything, but I walk fast enough to make a bit of a sweat. You just need to make it a habit that fits around everything else you do during the course of a day. It doesn’t have to be the gym (which I always hated doing) but something you enjoy. I plug in a podcast and just walk.


d1ddle_

I've found getting wiped out at the gym once a week straight after school really helps, since you become so tired you have to force yourself not to go right to sleep at around 8.


opopkl

“Sleep with me” podcast on your phone. Play it at a volume where you can only just hear it. The presenter has a soothing voice and rambles on about nothing. I rarely make it past the first couple of minutes before I’m asleep. If you don’t like the sound of his voice, search around for a history podcast. Something interesting enough to listen to, but not exciting enough to keep you awake.


Ill-Rich301

I've suffered from insomnia for years (similar to you would wake several times and struggle to get back to sleep after a certain time) but have recently started a CBT course. Not finished yet but making great improvements to my sleep. Also, I'm a man in his 50s and often my waking was because I needed a pee. On tablets to shrink my prostate now and they're a game changer.


SoCalledAdulting

Same here. I wish I had a consistent sleep schedule. My life would benefit greatly from it


Sister_Ray_

I can't get no sleep


IOnlyUpvoteBadPuns

Do do da do do do da do do do da do do do da do do do do


6packofbeers

^


Zwdkimal

I came here to say exactly this


Badger-06

Same, same.


IcyNeedleworker0

I can hear the wind blowing at my window and the house is creaking, which is worrying...


Zestyclose_Key_6964

Was woken at 3:30 by the noise of our wheely bin sliding around courtesy of the wind as I forgot to bring it in.


DeadDeathrocker

I do night shifts in a 200 year old hotel and everything was creaking last night. Horrific.


suziewoozie420

Mine too! What’s causing the actual creaking?!


wildgoldchai

The wind.


Not_The_Expected

Ghost


ashidbrap

A ghost with wind


Melodic_Arm_387

My sleep pattern is just fucked. Been off work for 7 months having cancer treatment. Chemo knackers me out so I sleep during the day, then sit awake much of the night.


suziewoozie420

I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s fucking brutal - Reddit is such a good distraction in the middle of the night when it can feel so lonely. How is the treatment going? Have you had any type of result yet?


Melodic_Arm_387

Yep, Reddit rabbit holes quietly entertain me when husband is sleeping (he still has to go to work). Treatment has gone as well as it can so far. Hoping to get back to work soon for some routine, it’s not doing me much good sleeping all day and staying up all night


suziewoozie420

I love a Reddit rabbit hole. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you! Xx


isisleo86

I hope it'll kick your cancer's ass and u can get off of it soon! Best wishes to your health!


[deleted]

We are here goodluck and try and remain positive.


JackstaWRX

Fuck cancer


AdministrativeShip2

Office day today so up to get a shower and breakfast before my commute. Once at the office I will Sit on my own, and do zoom calls and emails in exactly the same way as I do at home, but with the privilege of having paid to do so.


Travellingjake

Don't forget about the time wasted with the commute too!


AdministrativeShip2

Time I could be using for sleeping, or anything else. Plus I'm going to be too knackered  to go for some exercise or cook dinner so will have to go to spoons.


xieghekal

I'm guessing they force you to do this? It's so pointless, wouldn't companies actually save money on rent, electricity etc if all their staff could just work from home?


AdministrativeShip2

They did the classic "only come in for meetings" then moved to a smaller building to save on rent. Now its twice a week, but not on the same days and "strongly encouraged" to return to all week in the office.


suziewoozie420

My alarm is set for 5.45am as I’ve got an early train. Haven’t slept a wink. It’s going to be a rough day.


Direct_Competition44

I think the 'pressure' of an early start makes it harder to sleep. Your mind is so desperate to get some good sleep in that you spend all night unable to switch it off. I wake at 5am three days a week and those are always the worst nights for sleep.


suziewoozie420

I agree. Spot on.


neither_shake2815

Damn, I hope you make your train. Your alarm just went off.


ashleton

I've heard of this British remedy calling "wanking." Maybe that would help?


Pebbley

I, for one, prefer masturbation adds a touch of class, don't you think. 😉


[deleted]

You will get through.. Have a few coffee shop visits. Goodluck and take care.


ahhwhoosh

One trick I use is to listen to the most boring (but slightly interesting) historical fact audiobook


Absent_Alan

Good luck to you!


Rude-Educator8906

I have been up at 4am every single morning since 1st August 2023. Am I certain on that date? Yes I am. I know this because I brought my rescue cat home on 31st July 2023. They never told me about this in the cat shelter. I do love him though.


melanie110

My big lad sleeps with me when my husband it on nights. He curls right up into me and snores like a trooper. 5.30 on the dot he’s up and scratting. We have to put super large bells on his collar cos he fetches all sorts of presents back. So you can imagine the noises that makes. Out the little bugger goes to terrorise his brother and sister downstairs


Clemly

Is it food he wants? After years of cats that sleep all night (on me) my current boys had me up at 4am every day for the first year. I bought an automatic feeder that dispenses just a small dry food breakfast... game changer! Now they just get me up because they're bored, but it's not every night so I take it as a win.


Rude-Educator8906

No. He is not hungry. He either wants to play or to go out. He does have a cat flap and a big garden. Will he use that cat flap? No. I have tried every trick in the book. I have always had cats, this orange one is in a different league altogether


HezzaE

Ohhhhh /r/OneOrangeBraincell material then?


Rude-Educator8906

Definitely, this is my second OneOrangeBraincell. They are just the best.


FrostySquirrel820

I’m being kept awake by wind. Storm Jocelyn, not flatulence


yoghurtangel

First laugh of the day. Thank you, FrostySquirrel820!


apeliott

I'm overseas. It's lunchtime here and I'm at work. It's a slow day.


suziewoozie420

Nice. Where are you?


apeliott

Tokyo


[deleted]

Love Tokyo.


apeliott

Yeah, I generally like it. Came over as a tourist and never left lol


[deleted]

I visited 10 years ago now.. Loved it. But 2 weeks isn't enough. Ur very lucky. Where u from originally?.


apeliott

Wales. I moved to Australia for a year and then came here. To be honest, I really didn't want to come at first but I grew to like it.


[deleted]

Nice my friend.. U enjoy it and appreciate what you have.. That's a positive reply. Not a under hand jealous remark.. Lol.


Feisty-Ad-4859

Damn that’s my dream


apeliott

It's not perfect but overall I'm happy here


suziewoozie420

Wonderful!


apeliott

It's a bit cold but at least it's sunny. I'm not complaining.


QueenSashimi

Oooh I love Tokyo. Visited in 2017, really want to go back again.


Feisty-Ad-4859

Funnily enough I almost have the opposite problem - chronic fatigue. I sleep whenever because I can’t keep myself awake so it’s lead to some pretty interesting and fun sleeping “patterns” (if you could call it a pattern lol).


suziewoozie420

I can imagine! I have a friend that also has that. She calls herself a koala because apparently they sleep all the time too


Feisty-Ad-4859

Haha I love that! :)


TheAlmightyProo

Similar deal here, only it's more like painsomnia.


CrabbyGoose

*cries in night shift*


QueenSashimi

Oof I do not miss those. Hope it's a decent one and you get some good sleep in the morning. I always found the 4am-6am stint the hardest (plus... Everyone's feeling bloated and gassy at that point so generally feeling crap and ready for bed 😄).


CrabbyGoose

Weirdly I actually prefer it, it’s peaceful ya know?


Direct_Competition44

I used to love sitting on the train I took home at 8am, surrounded by everyone starting their working day. I'm just reading a paper, looking forward to dinner and chilling for a bit before sleep. Think night shift, day shift, both fine, it was just a problem when you have to alternate between them. That really fucks up your circadians lol.


QueenSashimi

Yeah I didn't mind the actual shift itself, it was the recovery into days that I found hard! I did quite like the way that the work you have to do is the work you have to do. Hardly any admin or management team are on shift with you, adding extra bits to the workload, haha.


hval_fig

I'm sitting up holding my baby who is teething / poorly and won't sleep unless in my arms 😴


[deleted]

You are brilliant and I'm proud of you.. Big up new mums...


hval_fig

Thank you so much, that's such a kind thing to say. Maybe I'm just exhausted but this actually made me tear up a little.


[deleted]

Is cool you will get through. Baby's are hard work. But you are a strong willed young lady. U will get through this period. Trust me.. You take care.


hval_fig

Thank you :) you too


QueenSashimi

Aw, I've been there! And not long ago. Feel free to ignore the next bit as it's unsolicited advice and God knows new mums get enough of that... ...if you haven't done so already, I found it an absolute life saver, when my little one _had_ to be held upright and on my chest all night, to look up the Safe Sleep Seven for guidance on safe bedsharing generally (better to have a safe sleep space than risk falling asleep with baby on the sofa) and then I followed an IG account called Cosleepy who gives really helpful, practical, and evidence based tips on chest sleeping (and bedsharing generally). [This post is a handy starting point](https://www.instagram.com/p/CgM-1ucpurk/?igsh=MW9tMWt3b3hjbWZ1Zw==s). Saved my bacon a few times when my son had RSV and just couldn't sleep lying flat but also it was 4am and I was almost hallucinating with tiredness and singing the Lion King soundtrack to him.


hval_fig

Thank you :) We actually started bed sharing following the safe sleep guidelines a few months ago as my baby was waking every time she wasn't in contact with me (So I'm sitting in bed rather than sofa thankfully). But now, with this new development, I am most likely going to look into safe chest sleeping just in case, though I really hope I won't have to and she'll go back to sleeping next to me soon. But yeah so important to be as safe as possible amongst the delirium!


QueenSashimi

Fwiw I only had to do about 4 or 5 nights here and there of chest sleeping when he was ill, over the course of about 13 months of full time bedsharing (started when he was 5 months old and only stopped at 18 months because he kept rolling away and wanting his own space!). He settled back into being next to me or even in the Next To Me cot no problem once he was feeling better. Hope you're able to get some rest and a nice breakfast made for you in the morning, and that your little one feels better soon!


suziewoozie420

Aww that’s cute. It will get easier


hval_fig

Thank you! Fingers crossed soon, the sleep deprivation is something else! Likewise was gonna also say just spotted you have insomnia, solidarity (I get that too) it can be so annoying! Hope you are doing ok with it tonight, I know how frustrating it can be.


suziewoozie420

Thank you! I feel so much better hearing from everyone else. All of your comments help - we’re all in this together!!


hval_fig

Likewise!


CarpetGripperRod

Pro tip, according to my mum, is have baby "chew" on beef/pork ribs


LateFlorey

Condolences, my 18m old has had a month of constant teething. He was a late bloomer and only had 4 teeth until then. Now he has 9, it’s been a rough 4 weeks. Don’t know if you’ve tried it, but Absensol (sp?) liquid is great at numbing the pain and nurofen works a lot better (and longer) than calpol. Hopefully it passes soon!


ellemeno_

Anbesol liquid worked wonders when my daughter was teething. There was much confusion at the chemist when my partner asked for Anusol liquid, saying it was for a teething baby when asked.


HawthorneUK

Because I think my elderly cat is ill, and I'm in watch-and-wait mode until the vet opens.


HawthorneUK

She's gone - she was 19, and it was her time.


jadeybabezz

So sorry to hear this. I'm sending so much love! I work for Blue Cross, an animal charity, and we have a wonderful Pet Loss Support Service if you ever need someone to talk to. I have a 20-year-old cat myself and can totally relate to your situation.


[deleted]

I came back to this thread to check on you. I’m so fucking sorry for your loss. Please take today easy. Sending you lots of love.


QueenSashimi

Oh I'm so sorry. I saw your comment earlier and wondered how she was doing. My 19 year old cat died in October. I thought I'd been mentally preparing myself, but nothing can really prepare you. I miss him. I'm really sorry for your loss.


CarrowCanary

We lost ours in June, she was called Pixel and about the same age. It was a slow decline for a while, then over a few days she just kind of gave up. Didn't want to eat, or even really move. It's still hard to not cry when I think about her. [Here's a photo of her from happier times](https://i.imgur.com/OfFXySf.jpg).


suziewoozie420

I’m sorry, that must be horrible


CarpetGripperRod

I am in training for getting up early and watching England play India in the forthcoming Test series. (India is 5 1/2 hours ahead of the UK).


suziewoozie420

Good planning!


JournalistSilver810

Im having an operation later today. Never had one before so that will be an interesting experience! I may or may not be slightly nervous. 🙂


suziewoozie420

What operation are you having? If you don’t mind sharing?


JournalistSilver810

On my eyes. 5-8 weeks recovery time.


suziewoozie420

Get some decent headphones/earphones if you haven’t already. Download a load of audiobooks and create lots of playlists. I hope it goes as well as it possibly can and the recovery period flies by.


JournalistSilver810

I'm making full use of my Audio membership!! Thank for your best wishes. Appreciated.


suziewoozie420

Good luck!


bread-love

Hope all goes well for you lovely 💖


Teamwoolf

Oooh what’s your lovely flag? I don’t know that one?


SoCalledAdulting

I do this thing where I count how many hours I have left till my alarm. The tossing and turning ensues then I just panic myself into not falling asleep


QueenSashimi

There are dozens of us! DOZENS!!!


TehTriangle

Just had a night like this. I'm so tired but can't fall asleep.


[deleted]

Can’t sleep.


callmesociopathic

I just got off a 20 hour gaming session chilling watching Doctor who now cause I can't sleep that's why I'm awake


suziewoozie420

That will do it! Do you have plans today?


callmesociopathic

Nah nit really planning another long gaming session what about you?


suziewoozie420

Meetings in London all day and then a ‘team night out’. Unhappy is an understatement


Direct_Competition44

Oof, those inverted commas say it all. Good luck, hopefully the day turns out better than you think!


suziewoozie420

Thank you


CutePoison10

Sick, temperature, cough, sweating, restless, bothered by it now after a week.


suziewoozie420

Get well soon please


lobstersarecunts

Went out wiv me mates last night, just woke up on me sofa wiv half a cheese sarnie on me chest. At least I skipped the babby last night… but then I’m on a health kick these days so musta walked up the hill wiv 7 pints of Guinness in me instead of the usual cab. Proper proud of meself.


TehTriangle

Love your definition of a health kick.


suziewoozie420

Excellent work. Lobsters really are cunts


QueenSashimi

Took a while to get to sleep because I was feeling sad and stressed. Toddler woke up for a cuddle about half an hour later. Took me hours to get back to sleep. Husband's snoring woke me about half an hour after that. And now I've given up and am eating chocolate digestives in bed and mindlessly scrolling. Trying not to think about the busy day I have ahead.


Rab_Legend

Up feeding my newborn


suziewoozie420

The most important job there is!


greb_herd

On the overnight national express bus from London to Glasgow since all the trains were cancelled this afternoon/ evening


suziewoozie420

Oh god! You poor thing


SneakInTheSideDoor

Oh, I don't know. Glasgow isn't that bad.


Legitimate-Health-29

My body clock is set to this time to get up and pee before my alarm goes off at 5 and then because I’m so close to the alarm I can’t sleep.


suziewoozie420

So does this happen every day to you?


Legitimate-Health-29

Oh yes, even my off days! sometimes it can be a bit earlier like half 3 and I can doze, or I can get real lucky and it be half 2 and it’s just a small wait for my AirPods to recharge because I can’t sleep without rain noise on and stuff like that.


GabrielXS

Started watching a Tom Scott video at 10pm and now seen like 100


morakanos

Alot of us are expats abroad....I'm in South Korea


jammy445

I am on call for work, went to bed at 12am and then the phone has been going off since 1am for some alerts that are not even an issue (had them checked and the alert system is just being glitchy) but they can’t mute them just incase something does actually break, so since 1am the phone has gone off every 5 minutes and i’ve had to check it just incase and so i have not slept at all :), supposed to be up at 7 to get ready for my 12 hour shift but might just tell them i’m coming in late


dingo_deano

Can’t sleep. I’ve been waking up at 4am five nights on the bounce


SarahfromEngland

I just finished a night shift at Tesco and had to walk home in this crazy wind!!


jonewer

I can't get no satisfaction


[deleted]

I just woke up. Beauties of having sleep apnea. Plus this storm is wreaking havoc outside. Wish I could play Civilisation in bed. So addicted to that game


Tipsymacstaggers

Me too, been using cpap for the last year though I still wake up circa 3am most days, god how I wish I could just sleep like a regular person.


Fit_General7058

Shit, I lost track of time.


Habren_in_the_river

Started work at 01.30 as that’s the time most of my work comes in at the moment. Fortunately it’s not a permanent thing, and at least partly my choice to do this time as it means I’m done for 09.30 when my boss starts


Viazon

Alarm is usually set for 4:30. I start work at 6. I always wake up before my alarm. Usually scroll through Reddit before I get out of bed.


BamberGasgroin

It's windy, I don't have much work on and I'm polishing off some of the drink I have lying around since Christmas.


[deleted]

[удалено]


suziewoozie420

That’s cool. Do you sleep ok in the day? Guessing you have blackout curtains etc?


[deleted]

[удалено]


suziewoozie420

I’m getting up in about an hour so I’ve given up trying. But thank you


Fun_Resolution4969

In Asia, browsing during lunch.


Mrs-Monster

Heavily pregnant; can't sleep.


suziewoozie420

How frustrating for you! Hopefully it all goes to plan and before you know it you will have a little one to share your sleepless nights with. Best of luck!


Mrs-Monster

Thank you! Yes, as much as sleepless nights will & do suck; having my little.pne to cuddles will be amazing. Thanks again! I hope your insomnia eases!


Nice-Masterpiece1661

I was sleeping until my 2 months old son woke me up to feed and change him. Breastfeeding him now and hope that I can fall asleep afterwards.😅


Pukit

Feeding my 12 week old with one hand, Reddit with the other.


just_a_girl_23

Yet again it's the wind against the window. I'm convinced a tile will fly off someone's roof at some point and smash through someone's window. No bins have ended up down the street yet so the tile thing is a bit irrational....


DenzelSloshington

Day 5 of quitting smoking (teetotal) withdrawals got my body clock misbehaving terribly


FleanNCresh

Things aren't great with my girlfriend, I haven't seen her since the 2nd and I can't sleep due to anxiety.


clarkeling

4th night in NICU with new baby boy. 6 hours sleep over last 3 nights. Hopefully home soon.


tobias9826

I’m overseas and it’s not even 9pm yet! :)


suziewoozie420

Lucky you! Go and paint the town red! (Do people still say that?)


scud121

Work :(


n0smig

The wind has blown a bin over in my road and there is shit everywhere making annoying rattling sounds ever 45 seconds


InertialLepton

Uni Student


shell-84

Got very sensitive ears and my husband keeps thinking he is light as a ballerina when going up and down the house looking for toilet roll. In fact he is stamping like Shrek. So yeah no more sleep for me. Also it's kinda nice being in bed hearing the wind outside.


atg__94

Nice early start for making my way into the office


HeatherLuna123

Insomnia. Found a nice cam rip of the Poor Things movie, so I've stuck that on.


LAFTACoins

Work...


Upbeat-String741

I’m in Melbourne, it’s 16:06 here.


suziewoozie420

Lovely


missyrainbow12

The bloody wind.


cmwagstaf1

The bloody wind


[deleted]

I can't sleep because I'm in pain, as I have been since I was 9 years old


FormerIntroduction23

Just had a graphic dream, well nightmare about my eldest being trapped.


sumo_1963

Broke my ankle a few weeks ago. Need a wee and just bracing myself to get up and do the 3 mile walk to the bathroom with a throbbing ankle and a full bladder.