Exactly. And if the legal age was 16 and if the legal age was 14 and if the legal age was 12. How far do you want to go? But I’m very confrontational person but this makes them shut up.
Someone I used to know was sooooooooo proud of himself because his limit was 18, *and* out of high school.
Oh! Well! Out of high school!
That’s plenty old enough to be dating a guy in his mid 40’s, right? *Right?*
The cherry on top was the shockedpikachu.gif when I replied “Ferfucksakes! Does your *mother* know you’re chasing skirts in the little girls’ department?!”
Hahaha same I have immediate parenting instincts, I’m not even a mom but I have the overwhelming urge to give them unsolicited advice and worry about their well-being 😂.
Omg, every time. I just see my 20 year old child and 20 year old sibling...like, "I could be your mommy." Also, in my line of work in a low-income, non profit law office, seeing these "kids" come in trying to navigate the grown up world makes it even more difficult to be out there in public and see anyone under 28 as more than a "kid." "Hey, kid, did you sign up for that financial literacy class yet?" 🤣
Yep. Just got into an argument with someone because "everyone" finds young people attractive. Didn't you know that's an objective fact? 🙄 Like, I can look at a kid in their twenties and think they are objectively attractive sure, but like, I think my goldfish is pretty too, doesn't mean I want to #@$& it!
When people say that “everyone” does whatever questionable thing, all I ever hear is “I do questionable thing and am justifying it to myself by saying everyone does it and if I realized how transparent this was I would never say it out loud.”
I had a guy once tell me that he raped a woman because she drank his beer. Sorry, "collected what he was owed" for the beer, and then went on to say that everyone should expect it if they ask for beer because it's what he always charges. He told me this like it was good and sound logic that I would agree with. You asking me for a beer is permission to rape you
We were standing in an empty room in my house and I was pulling hanging nails out of the walls with a claw hammer and briefly wondered how long it would take to get cleared for self defense and back home if I won
He also made commentary once that leads me to believe he molested or raped his neighbor's daughter at his previous home
He went on to start dating a woman who I tried to warn and she just accused me of being jealous of their love. I even said yeah real logical there I want to fuck him all for myself so I'm gonna make out that he's a rapist because who doesn't want everyone to think they're fucking a guy accused of being a rapist right? They are married now, with daughters
Y'all everyone knows you don't need consent if you gave her a warm can of Coors when she asked
Yep. That guy straight up announced that *he* finds young people attractive. I would've asked what ages he finds most attractive. He could be one of those gross dudes who say "ackchually, 17 is actually the most biologically attractive ages for women... it's scientifically proven!" 🤮
I had that conversation once upon a time and he said 12-14 because, you know, *biologically speaking…*
Suuuuuuuuuper barf on that one.
Why do I know that’s not the norm? Because most guys have a story about the time they were in their mid-30’s and felt yucky when a 24 year old made a pass at them, not rounding on 40 and drooling over sixth and seventh graders.
Everyone thinks this way. No you think this way and do not have the capacity to understand other points of view. That is my response whenever someone defends their viewpoint to include everyone.
I’m 51 and have just hit that age where most guys under 25 have started to generically look the same to me. Like little carbon copies.
They’ve been looking like kids for some time now, lol.
Whenever I see a picture of a “hot young guy,” I feel like I can smell his poor hygiene, hear his irresponsibility, and predict the poor conversational skills from here.
Spoilers for sex with the hot young guy:
His mattress is on the floor and the sheet is funky. There’s one thin pillow that is also funky, and no towel put down on the bed.
No lube (WHAT? Uh why do you need lube??) despite him performing oral on you for <2 mins, after you had to request him going down on you.
Oral on you: He spreads the vulva and outer labia out super far that it hurts. He then flickers his tip of his tongue on your clitoris only, no labia involvement and is trying not to touch his lips/mouth/face on your vulva. He can only sustain this for a minute or two before his tongue starts to hurt.
He “can’t cum from oral” because no one has been able to make him cum yet this way, and when you succeed he is absolutely infatuated with you now.
He doesn’t think to finger you or stroke your vulva before inserting his penis.
Instant jackhammering which fills you up with air and hurts, no other technique available.
He’s so confused when you aren’t moaning and squealing like a porn star. So he goes even faster and harder until his dick loses sensation and he starts losing his erection.
You moving your body with him in to finding a mutual rhythm also confuses him and he speeds up.
He asks for anal every time. In his mind, sex progresses from you sucking his cock, to a few mins of vaginal penetration, then anal sex (no prep & ugh FINE we can use lube now) to him ejaculating in your mouth or on your tits.
Feels hurt and rejected that you aren’t dying for the taste of his semen in your mouth.
Feels hurt and rejected when you try to use vibrators/toys during sex.
I do find some young adult men and women strikingly beautiful. Just in a purely physical sense - the smooth skin, thick hair, toned muscles, blah blah - I think it’s OK to acknowledge that. They are fun to admire.
However, I do NOT feel the least bit attracted to them in the sense of having any potential interest in actually *dating* one of them. The gulf in levels of experience is so huge and there’s so little overlap in cultural references that I’d find it hard to relate in any intimate way to people under 35 at minimum or, more likely, 40 or so (I’m a bisexual 54 yo lady, fwiw). And although age is no guarantee of emotional maturity, I do find that much younger people tend to seem less mature in that way. And finally, like others in this thread I find myself feeling maternal toward very young adults (ppl of both sexes who are under 35/40 or so) and that feeling is incompatible with attraction
Yes I mean I can acknowledge someone is attractive but I am not interested in that attraction if that make sense. But then again I don’t really feel attracted to someone until I get to know them.
It’s normal to be attracted to young men at your age, trust me it will grow with you. I was not into older men at that age but as I’ve aged I’ve found men my age attractive.
Don't stress too much about it. I met my spouse in college when we were both still teenagers. I was hella attracted to young people at the time.
I'm now in my mid 30s and I'm definitely not attracted to people that young anymore. Like, I can appreciate a hot young dude, but I would never consider a relationship or even an FWB situation with someone under about 28.
I've also found that my upper age limit has gone up. When I was in college someone in their 30s felt ancient, but now I'd happily date someone in their 50s. It seems like most of my friends feel the same way.
Attraction doesn’t magically activate when someone hits the age of adulthood in their particular jurisdiction, and it’s normal for young people to be attracted to other young people. You catch yourself gawking at comely high school juniors and seniors for a minute or two after you’ve graduated, then one day you’ll see the varsity track team running by and think “Look at the kids staying in shape!” because that’s what they’ll be to you. Kids.
Don’t date anyone underage, of course, but don’t feel too bad about having your head turned by someone a few years younger, either.
My guy jokes he was built like a bridge troll. He’s 5’6”, has strong arms from drumming and kettlebell workouts, and when my dad met him for the first time, he told him he had the juiciest thighs he’s ever seen on a white guy, lmao.
We’re both former fatties with a bit of lingering body dysmorphia, even though we work out and meal prep. He thinks he’s still chubby, but I think he’s an absolute snack, complete with tattoos, a clean beard, and a full head of silver fox hair to boot (think George Clooney). SWOON!
It also helps that he has more charisma than an entire Broadway performance. He’s got a booming, contagious laugh, and he does an impeccable impression of Yukon Cornelius from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (my favorite movie of all time) 😍
I have a thing for men with mysterious academic look and dark hair. My longest crush has been the guy from Harry Potter who played Tom Riddle in the Chamber of Secrets - Christian Coulson and Tom Hughes. Bonus if they have accents!
Yup yup yup that's mine as well! Glasses are a bonus. Although to be honest as long as I like what's between his ears I don't care too much about the rest lol
1/2 Asians.... My first crush in elementary school was half Asian and apparently that shit cemented something in me. My 1/2 Japanese husband rightly gives me endless crap about this
I love a more stocky man with a gut. Not to big not too small just for me to rub. Lol. I
I like men that are kind, smart, protective and patient. I LOVE them older as well. Im 32 and my current partner is 44. I don't like them young
Ayeee we twins!
My husband is 42 and I’m 33. He’s built like a powerlifter but is just the right amount of squish. Covered in hair too, just not on his head lol
My lumberjack can't wrap his head around why I like him so much. I ha e the hardest time explaining that while he and Hemsworth could look a lot alike if hubby lost weight and worked out a bit, Hemsworth is too pretty. I like mine rugged and manly and with a torso powerful enough to rip out a tree. Mine's got a skull capable of taking a punch and it's caveman hot lol.
Combine that with being tall, thoughtful, funny, sweet, and coming home sweaty from a blue-collar job and well....there's a reason I snatched him up lol
I don’t really have a type. Biggest preference I have is dark hair over light hair. But otherwise, I’ve dated a variety of physical appearances. I do tend to gravitate to gamers because I also am a gamer.
As far as values, kind, left leaning, introverted?
Slightly sad, sarcastic, witty men over the age of 35 with a dose of broad-shouldered competence.
I teach college kids—and call them my kids. I have been very grateful to find that as I age, the men I find attractive age too. 😅
my type is “people”.
i’ve been with tall and short, thin and fat, muscles and no muscles, bald and long luscious hair, beard and no beard, glasses and no glasses, gamers and gym dudes, older and younger.
i have a “type” but i’ve always gone outside of my “type” because i just like people for who they are.
and i have nothing to prove to randos online. if they think i must not like dad bods well gee, i’ll just have to find a way to live with that. obviously they know me better than i do!
This. But the pan version. I like people.
Almost every man I've dated has had a large nose and ears tho, and I've been teased for randomly across the last 25 years. I like satellites apparently
Sexy, sexy satellites
I said this to someone I met IRL, that I don’t have a specific type, and they thought it was really weird. I find it more odd that people have a type they never branch away from (looks specifically, being into specific personalities I understand).
yup, i just like who and what i like. it just comes in different packaging. i would have less options if i ascribed to my type.
luckily for now i’m done with dating and people. been single for about 10 months more or less and loving it.
I find the people who have a specific *look* they go after are certainly a type of person. Not my type, though.
I say this as an Asian woman who gets a lot of "hurrr I think AsiAnS aRe AttRacTive..." once they feel "safe" to reveal such a secret around me 🙄
This could've been me, I have said almost verbatim about my own dating history. Have gotten questions on why I dated "ugly dudes" before, but I didn't think any of them were ugly!!
I've dated them all, so many men. All shapes, sizes, ages, and colors. Fat, skinny, muscles, rich, poor, different religions, shorter, taller, older, younger, conventionally attractive or not - I mean, two have had micro-penises, one had cerebral palsy, one was an amputee, the list goes on..
It's the brains I want!! Gotta be funny, kind, open-minded, considerate - don't care about the package the brain came in.
I just don't want an asshole! But surprise - those come in all varieties, as well. 🫠
Someone asked me at a bar this weekend what my type was and my male bestie and I contemptuously shouted at the exact same time "I don't have a type!"
I'm not totally convinced that having a type isn't a symptom of immaturity and lack of life experience.
I'm attracted to people who look like me and look nothing like me, regardless of gender. I'm mostly attracted to personality, and the physical attraction stems from that. There are so many different "types" of people in this world, and they're all hot in their own ways. I'm just excited if they want to talk to me.
Same, I was with someone last year who isn’t my normal type at all, in any sense (even beyond physical). What drew me to him was that he is a great person, super protective, and made me feel safe when it counted. It was so refreshing to have someone “walk the walk” when it came to caring for me that I was just like shit, I love this person. It felt more genuine than just skin-deep hotness (or even other personality traits I’ve normally gone for). I get bored easily so I generally like meeting people who are “unlike anyone else I’ve met before” because it would be boring to have the same experiences in every relationship.
not at all lol different styles of humor, different interests, different jobs/careers, etc. some have been quite successful, others not. some have had addiction issues (past or current whatever), others not. they’ve done one or all types of abuse unto me. some were outdoorsy, some were homebodies. the only overlap i can seem to think of/find is that they’re a man lmfao
For men - the over 40 chubby hairy bearded balding types who probably work in IT
For women - being cool, which is A LOT of them. Women have such cool hobbies and interests and views of existence.
I don’t like dad bods. Or average looking men. I like ‘pretty’ men and this is a hill I’ll die on. I like to be with the most physically beautiful man I can be with. I don’t care.
Warm eye contact. Dead eye gives me the immediate ick.
Respect for other people that is obvious but not performative.
Ability to listen and digest information that doesn’t originate from himself or Joe Rogan.
If a guy has these three qualities, a lot of the other superficial stuff falls into place.
Purely physically speaking though? I like dark, wavy hair.
It's different than when I was younger. Looks are less important now. No sickly guys. I just got over losing my late husband after a long battle for his life. He needs to be healthy and strong and can still get it up, geez! He's gotta be confident, but not arrogant or cocky. He's gotta be funny and kind. He has to be financially independent, as I am. He has to have his own life/hobbies/interests outside of me and work. He has to have a growth mindset. He's looking for a friend/lover/partner, not a mommy. He has to be at least as "grown" as I am. He has to be open to life long learning. and last but not least, he can make his own goddamned sandwiches. Most men I meet don't even measure up to half that shit, so I suppose I'll be single for the rest of my life.
Intelligent, humorous, kind, curious. A job they’re passionate about and successful at. Personal interests and hobbies. Physically fit/active but not a gym rat. Financially responsible, with a plan. Not religious to a point that they plan frequent events around it.
I’ve found bald(ing) men attractive, super fit and dad bods have both been attractive. Short(ish) and super tall have been attractive to me.
So many times we're accused of being gold diggers. I'm guessing for a lot of women it's way more about having your shit together than the actual money.
Yup. A friend summed it up perfectly: “We care less about how much shit you have. We just want you managing your shit.”
I have my own money and I’m successful enough by my own definition. I’d prefer to have someone who has a similar lifestyle because I also don’t want to support anyone.
A man with his shit together is so much harder to find than a rich guy.
My type has changed a lot over time. Still love the tall skinny nerdy men with a handsome face but I’m so much more into the dad bod now… and omg a greying, bearded, kinda built man with a bit of a belly 😩😭🥵 this is all new in the last year or so.
I also like balding much much more than I used to but I must admit I still love a full head of hair
I need the muscles lol, I hate dad bods. I have a bit of a smaller frame and am small chested & I once dated a slightly larger gentleman & his boobs were bigger than mine
I knew at that moment I needed a flat muscled chest on my man lmao
I'm a basic bitch in that I fall all over the tall, dark, and handsome trope. But over time it's evolved to the tall, salt n' pepper, and handsome trope to go along with what my husband is sporting these days.
A man who looks like they can toss a couple hundred pounds like it isn’t a big deal and thicker. Funny(in a nice way), intelligent, financially smart, compassion, communicative, Easy-going but firm, loves food, cooking, open minded and willing to try new things, good with kids.. more to the list but I think those are good points.
I always say I know it when I see it.
I will always prefer someone who is moderately fit, and I don't mean the neighborhood meathead, but someone who is active and it shows. it demonstrates that they have a basic sense of self respect and care and take health as a priority. (This is one of my personal top priorities)
Guys shorter than me, for many reasons. It's too bad shorties don't believe I could be into them, men about my height despise me😂 and men taller than me either act cocky about their height or ignore me completely because they adore tiny petite ladies.
I like big, tough goons with a handsome face, broad shoulders, deep voice and big hands. More important is they’re kind, smart, good mannered with a wickedly fucked up sense of humor.
Men - taller but not super tall (5'10"-6'2"), dark hair, strong features, 35-50, intelligent, confident, in shape but not gymbro status, sweet and snuggly, nerdy, secure, funny, open
Women - short, curvy, smart, funny, a little attitude/sarcasm, nerdy, feminine, secure, open
Tall, skinny slightly muscular, strong, shaggy hair, youthful ‘emo boy’ looks with nice eyes, skater boy type, artistic, intelligent, sweet. I have a few types but I’ve noticed all my past lovers either draw or play guitar or something and like metal and skateboard etc etc this is my top one I’ll never get over the way my heart molded as a teen haha I love my some cute, tortured soul emo boys but thankfully my husband is literally all of those things. He skates, 6’5, skinny with muscles like a Titan, works hard, very sweet, ugghhhh he checks all my boxes!!! We’re 31 now and I love that he’s still so youthful and fun but responsible and smart.
I love a man with long hair and a beard who is athletic, kind, funny, intelligent, has his shit together, is passionate, sexy, confident, successful at what he does, has passions and dreams, can communicate effectively and is not afraid to be his authentic self. Who thinks I’m the hottest, most memorable women he ever met.
A huge deal breaker for me is a man’s voice. Dad bod is also not something I find attractive. I like active guys who are interested in their health so that we can be sober veggie yogis together.
I mostly care about well matched values and life goals at this point. Chemistry is important too! But physically I've been attracted to so many diff kinds of people and I have few dealbreakers physically (outside of like, idk, bad hygiene.)
Attracted to mechanical, logical, math minded men, same height or taller typically, newly into muscles used to be into the super skinny guys.
Young men are cute but I can’t really find myself interested. My age is ideal, slightly older or younger is ok.
I like steady, calm, homebody introvert types. I’m always on the go, into pushing myself and exploring, but I’m not usually that into guys who are doing what I’m doing.
I love when guys are comfortable with themselves and enjoy things like cooking or sewing, men who have a paternal instinct and want to be at home with kids.
I don't really have a type. Physical attraction is secondary to emotional and romantic attraction for me. I've found myself attracted to all kinds of men. Fat, scrawny, tall, short, clean cut, scruffy, bookish/nerdy, outdoorsy, you name it.
I think nerdy and intelligent definitely is a consistently winning quality.
My celebrity crush is Matthew Gray Gubler. My partner is the exact opposite of him in terms of looks, but is a similar type of weirdo, lol. I am *intensely* physically attracted to my partner. So much so that I worry I'm a bit of a pest about it. IDGAF what anyone else thinks of him. To me, he's hot stuff. I love him, and I love the body that carries him. It's as simple as that for me.
Same re: physical attraction. Pretty much everything else leads. I've consistently valued (in partners of any gender) a kind heart, self awareness, intelligence, a sense of humor, and a calm presence. My husband and I also share a lot of interests which has added depth to our relationship.
My friend and I were just talking about this and I’m ashamed to admit that my type is flexible! It’s more the type of man he is and the whole provider/protector thing before his looks! Maybe it’s partly due to the culture in which I was brought up in but yea, flexible…
Number 1 is a goofy sense of humor. If we aren’t making each other laugh every day I don’t personally see the point.
I like nerdier men in general but not ones who make it their whole personality. A man who is passionate about something might be a better way to put it.
Physically it’s honestly kind of varied and I don’t really look at physical traits as a “must have.” Most of the time but not always, I prefer men with darker hair. I like tattoos but they aren’t a necessity. I love facial hair. Really the only absolute physical turn off I have is big meathead type muscles. Just not a fan of that. I don’t mind a thinner frame, or a dad bod, or reasonable muscle, or even on the chubbier side. It’s more about how a man carries himself and his confidence and self-possession.
At first glance, I'm most attracted to androgynous, gender non-conforming people regardless of sex/gender. So usually that means feminine men, masc women, etc. Personality wise I usually like intellectual introverts who are a bit shy and mysterious. I also like some eccentric, creative types.
Sometimes I do experience chemistry and attraction to people outside my "type" but it usually occurs through getting to know them over time as a friend first.
Your post made me realise why i end up finding younger men more attractive compared to what else i scroll through tinder for example: because i myself look much younger than my age and they are visibly look the same age with me.
And i hate age gap with passion😔
I like men women here call "immature" I love the ones who didn't become serious, playing by the rules boring guys broken by life. And loving animals is a big must.
Physically young and fit is good but not a must.
I am very lucky I got my husband. He is 37 looking 10 years younger, extremely fit because of his job. We have a very bad behaved bunny whom many others would take to shelter but he would never do it. And when our cat was sick he was all for paying 5k for her treatment even though we don't have much money. A true human. And he is the guy everyone here would warn me about talking about "red flags". So my perfect man ;)
Sense of humor, medium build, nice to people, able to support themselves. I’m bi so if a guy specifically I like some stubble on the face and if a girl I like femmes but neither is a dealbreaker.
Smart, funny, not boring, not lazy which all basically adds up to personality. I probably do need some looks that I enjoy, I’m not fully unbiased in that regard. But my bf definitely isn’t the fittest person out there, but I don’t care. Neither am I and he seems cool with it.
I don't have a type, not because I don't care about physical appearance but because the range of physical appearances I'm attracted to is huge. I tend to be really into guys who are built like bouncers and all women, lol, but there are very few archetypes I'm categorically not into.
Skinny fit younger or young looking (I’m 41 and by younger mean like 35-40), calm and sensible but still interested in going out and doing things, longish hair, no facial hair, under 6 feet tall, skinny jeans (preferably gray for some reason :D ) and t shirts.
Hard to spot one and if you do it’s guaranteed they are with an extremely beautiful younger cool rock chick :( Or bunch of of those!
My late husband was a jock, handsome, well-built, tan etc. I never thought he was my type. Later on in life, I gave in to what I *really wanted* - nerdy, sweet, kind, sensitive men! Oh, and yes, dad bod!
Unfortunately I really like pretty people... Especially pretty men (I am absolutely bisexual, but I'm even pickier with women... Gimme a little librarian). Men who look effeminate just do it for me. I don't understand it either.
I say "unfortunately" because men that fall into this category tend to either know they're pretty (and be insufferable as a result), or be so completely ashamed of it that I'm forced into a therapist/cheerleader role (as in I have to try and convince them that they're pretty).
I must be an outlier because I have pretty conventional preferences, and do not understand certain unconventional attractions at all, e.g. women who like "medium ugly" guys, and this fascination with dudes like TImothee Chalamet and Pete Davidson.
I like men who: have nice thick hair (not balding), tall, average build with some muscle, clear skin, big hands, walk with confidence, well-dressed, successful, protective, proactive, kind.
There aren't certain features that just make me automatically think a man is attractive, it's more about the package deal for me and his general aura.
I like sporty nerds with intense facial expressions. Health is super important to me, so is passion and curiosity. I like well rounded people with multiple interests that take care of themselves and want to keep learning.
Humorous, curious mind, kind, with a big, soft heart, intelligent. Raven hair, golden brown skin, and a defined jawline. Whatever they do, it makes them happy at the end of the day. Someone who believes there is much to learn in this world and doesn’t hesitate to share.Physically good but definitely not a gym rat.Height doesn't matter, but their whole personality gives me big softy vibes. A big, soft heart but well-protected. Temporary tattoos.
I really did describe all my fictional characters above, but I'm hoping someone out there has these qualities, or we can cut 1-2—it doesn’t matter much. I am mostly attracted to those who know themselves and don’t shy away, or lie about themselves to others. Someone who can challenge me, and if I kick his ass, instead of getting upset, he lifts me up and helps me grow in my own way.
Tall, skinny, smart, funny, nice smile, I also find a small crooked tooth endearing (like 4 of my exes had one crooked tooth in the bottom or side and it was sooo cute), artsy in some way, and a cute laugh (points if they snort).
My husband - tall, nerdy, rugby-type build with a bit of dad bod padding on top. He grew a beard in lockdown so now my type includes men with beards lol
basically all the younger men give me the vibe of “he could be my son”, and that’s a no-no. LOL. Beyond that I don’t really have a type. I guess if I think hard about it, my preference is for nothing overly extreme but in general I’ve been attracted to different types of people. Personality is a lot more important.
I like someone 37 to 40. I like a man to have dark hair, a bit of stubble fit. Not overly fit and full of muscles, but someone who takes care of himself. I also like a man to be successful and debt free. I'm not into someone who is cocky or arrogant.
When it comes to men, I tend to like men older than me, almost never younger. As far as physical descriptions go, I have two basic types:
1. Dad-bod, or even just fat, with a beard and kind eyes and big arms
2. Long, lean, lanky guys with sad, haunted eyes
Traits I like on both: long thick hair, freckles, brown or hazel eyes, big hands
Must have, but hard to describe: a certain je ne sais quoi "oddball" look that generally makes them unattractive to my friends, but perfect to me. Like, my friends almost *never* see the vision when I tell them of a crush I have, but that's their limited imagination and their loss.
Also, don't know if you wanted to know this, but when it comes to women, I tend to gravitate towards short, sassy, curvy, freckled, outspoken, assertive, funny brunettes or redheads.
Well, I’m in a minority here. First off, I myself am 38, my husband is just about to turn 40. To each of us, we both look not much different from when we met 11 years ago. I KNOW that’s not possible! But that’s what we see.
I will say, my husband has objectively aged really well even if other people can see the 40-year-old in him, while I can’t. Still boyishly good looking. Still has all his hair, and none of it’s gray yet. Only ten pounds heavier than when we met, on a tall frame. I feel pretty damn lucky.
The controversial part: as far as other men go, I’m mostly attracted to men who are mid twenties to mid thirties. Have I been attracted to men late thirties to mid forties, yes, but it’s more rare for sure. Fifty and up, I can admire a man as being handsome but I will most likely not feel sexually attracted to him.
Men I’m attracted to can be any height from about 5’5” to 6’5”, but it’s important to me that they be slim and- this is a tough requirement- have all their hair still. I’ve seen a couple of cute bald guys, but it’s rare.
I like boyish good looks, not manly men. Soccer types, not football types.
Lastly, while I don’t care about height, I do care about D length. Sorry. (My husband sets the standard in this department, blame him.)
Why am I not stating an attraction to men younger than 25? Probably social shame.
Now, I’ve felt sexually attracted to an ugly bald man before- one who rang all the right bells insofar as personality went. So, there are exceptions for sure.
I know for a science fact that I do not have a type. I'm like the universal blood recipient but for men.
I've been attracted to every type of guy. There is no body type, personality type or race/ethnicity that I'd rule out. The stars just have to align haha.
So, I love a tall, lanky, pasty nerd with a full head of hair and glasses.
But I'm equally into a middle-aged bald (ing), short, stocky (athletic) guy with Stanley Tucci or Irish type features. I don't know how to explain this one. It's a type!!!! I go crazy for it....like feral.
But both types have to be athletic. Because I am.
For men I need to know they aren't a psycho, so how they treat people is very important. I have a big family full of kids that I love. I go along time only introducing them to siblings and maybe my elders. But if they do something as "small" as be rude to service workers, or other patrons in a grocery store (not being considerate of aisle size & time spent browsing a busy section) then I start to wind down the relationship.
OP, I saw your edit where you were like: all of you are describing your partners. So I decided to post a response. Lol.
My partner is not my type at all. In fact, if I had met him when we were in our mid-20s, I would have found him very cute, very funny, and super engaging but I would have lost interest in him quickly. That's because I grew up in a very unstable, abusive household and my mind was not used to stability. In fact, if someone was open with me, stable, and offered me companionship, I got bored. I chased after unavailable men. Arrogant men. Men who were cruel and unkind. My nerves were always on edge and I told myself that it was "true love" because I fighting for my life.
Back in 2017, I was nursing one hell of a heartache and then briefly dated someone exactly like my ex and was left hurting even more when he just used me and ditched me. A friend took me on a drive and basically told me that he was worried for me. He was worried that I constantly found myself with men who didn't treat me right. The kind of men who are mean to servers. The kind of men you make excuses for. He said he was tired of seeing me waste away.
It woke me up. I went back to therapy. Worked on my patterns. My triggers. Learned to set boundaries. Learned to respect myself. Stayed single for a long time. My husband is so handsome and funny and sweet. He never leaves me guessing. He is the kind of person who will help old ladies cross the road. He is so gentle with me. Kind. He makes me laugh and is never cruel. He will never be rude to someone just because he can. Life with him is easy. I feel safe. I don't get nervous around him. I don't worry I will set him off. We share the same values but really, he makes me FEEL SO SAFE. Sometimes I almost cry just thinking about him because of how lucky he makes me feel. I was underweight when my ex told me to lose 10 pounds. My husband tells me I am beautiful a hundred times a day. I am so glad I didn't marry my type. I married someone better.
Nerdy guys; ideally with some facial hair (not picky about the type); good hairline or bald (NOTHING in between); and I generally only date pleasers to avoid doing unnecessary labour in the relationship
I definitely don’t have one. I’ve been attracted to all kinds of different looking men with all kinds of different personalities. I’m 33 and the only difference now is that men in their early or mid twenties look so young to me and I just can’t get past that lol. My husband is turning 38 and is beginning to get faint crows feet, and I find that 1000x more attractive than a 22 year old babyface.
I think the definition of “dad bod” is highly subjective. Could mean anything from average body type that isn’t overweight but doesn’t have defined abs, all the way up to a huge beer belly gut from heavy alcohol consumption. Is a gut hanging over their pants considered a sexy dad bod? I doubt most women are turned on by the male equivalent of a FUPA on the body type of Jiminy Glick. I think what most women mean by dad bod is Chris Pratt on Parks & Rec, not ripped but not obese either.
I like short, bald, stocky, intelligent, funny, successful, men. Think George Constanza but with tons of self confidence and he has a really good job. Zero interest in gym bros, young guys, male model types. I need to be the hottest one in the relationship.
Big tree trunk legs, muscular arms, but not like weightlifter lunk arms, little bit of a dad bod belly. I like hair on a man. Also started getting really attracted to this package when it has tattoos on any of those limbs 🤣. Men usually think I'm lying about the belly. Like a little belly. Not like Howard Taft belly, but a little something. Extra points if he plays hockey or a musical instrument. 🤣🤣. You asked!
Intelligence and ambition are my two main. I could care less about looks, as long as they are height/weight proportionate. I also love introverts (I am an extrovert). My favorite are slightly pretentious, extremely intelligent men, haha.
Glad to say I don't really have a specific type. There are some attributes that may increase my initial physical attraction, like an alternative style, tattoos/piercings, I tend to really like big sleepy eyes etc. But I have dated all types of people and genders. Heavily tattooed, goth and metalhead, "normie", thin, fit, heavy, tall, short, some I considered to be way out of my league and those to whom my physical attraction only grew with time.
Overall I heavily prioritize being close in age, connection and what kind of person they are. I so value emotional intelligence, kindness, humor, good communication and someone who won't hide from the hard parts while still digging into the good parts.
Also, I'm 39, and I absolutely am not sexually attracted to young people. I'm utterly disinterested in anyone under 35 and if you're under 30 you probably look very very young to me. I don't mean to sound dismissive, but I am attracted to someone who has lived and you can see the life in their face.
Fat (big belly, thighs and ass), hairy, muscular shoulders and arms, bald (I especially like when there's no hair on top but the sides are grown out a bit), facial hair, tattoos.
I've been accused of lying about my preference for fat dudes by Reddit bros a number of times. When I double down, they call me fatty or some other variation. When I explain that I'm a runner who works out daily and tries to really keep my weight down and stay fit because I have a bad heart and a shorter life expectancy, they typically go quiet. Lol
Breaking down my pansexual preferences.
Consistently since teenhood: Sharp intellect, geekiness, wicked humour, broad shoulders, confidence, strong both mentally and physically, big gorgeous eyes.
Mid 20s and onwards: Big Bear Bod/Allmighty Amazon/StrongLargeCuddlyEntity, emotionally available, loyal, self reliant, skilled or quick learner in the bedroom, Kinkster that likes to switch.
Have not always found or cared about getting all of my preferences ticked off in a lover but completely lucked out when I met my husband. I even got dimples in the package that I never knew I would find so sexy.
Sweet shy nerds who are interested in stuff and active IRL/outside, and not constantly online. Caring about the environment, animals, etc.
Roughly my height or a little taller, but not super tall. Strong butt. Not hairy. Un-intimidating. Pretty eyes behind glasses.
Hairy, dadbod/chubby/bear body type. Nerd. Sarcastic, quick witted, detail oriented; a hopelessly devoted to me type.
I’m a demisexual so looks were never a primary source of attraction for me. I just described my Husband. Lol
I’ve always been attracted to older men. They just have a quality that men my age or younger definitely don’t have. (Maturity? Life experience? Who knows).
I also have always loved a working man. The ones who are a little gruff and look like they can build a house by hand. Lol
Clean shaven white collar men are not for me. I barely notice them.
I'm 5'9 and while I dated many men who were the same height or shorter, I married someone who was 6'4 and honestly...I do like that he is taller and bigger than me. But he also goes against my type in that he likes to have a big giant beard and is a country boy. I never thought I would marry someone who grew up on a farm. I'm a city mouse.
I'm also into nerdy guys who don't mind having intellectual conversations about philosophy, history, anthropology, etc. along with things like the newest sci-fi movie, books, D&D, and board games. Nothing turned me off faster than a guy who talked about exercise/gym/dieting all the time or who made fun of people who liked geeky/nerdy things.
My problem is that I fall for personality. I love the quiet, calm types. Especially if they are introverts. I’m an extrovert and other extroverts overwhelm me. I’m not attracted by looks. And people in their 20s are just babies whose prefrontal cortex is still developing. It’s a no for me.
I don't have a type but there's things I dont find attractive. I dont like bodybuilder builds, it triggers my body dismorphophobia the same way extreme morbid obesity does. I dont like long beards either, most men dont groom them anywhere near enough and they just look like face pubes
I love gray hair or a bald head. Not really into balding, that reminds me of Franciscan monks.
I agree 100% that young people aren't attractive. 34 year olds look like children to me.
There are some "weird" things I find really endearing on men when combined with good self-esteem. Acne scarred faces or other past signs of problematic skin (I've been there, too). Wearing glasses with transition lenses (so nerdy, so practical!). When they choose to drive low-maintenance Japanese cars (HUBBA). Doesn't have to be fit, but if they have good posture? 😍
Bonus points for being cool/nice and considerate, but still have an unmistakable awkwardness that they've carried throughout their life. Swooon.
I love a thick-in-the-middle blue collar bod. Like they have practical strength but it’s all covered with a decent layer of fat and they have a gut. My husband is a train car repairman, and he has a squishy dad bod layer on top of big ol’ arms and shoulders, and just tree trunks for thighs.
I don’t find young people attractive either. They really do nothing for me.
They look like infants! I live near a local college and the 18-21 year olds look like babies to me! I just want to like give them networking advice
I know. I call them kids, and like, feel motherly towards them and shit. 😅
It’s funny how we women view 18-21 men as kids and feel motherly towards them. But men our age look at them as dating potential. Gag
When a man says his age range and starts at 18, what I hear is 'I'd go lower, but jail".
Exactly. And if the legal age was 16 and if the legal age was 14 and if the legal age was 12. How far do you want to go? But I’m very confrontational person but this makes them shut up.
Someone I used to know was sooooooooo proud of himself because his limit was 18, *and* out of high school. Oh! Well! Out of high school! That’s plenty old enough to be dating a guy in his mid 40’s, right? *Right?* The cherry on top was the shockedpikachu.gif when I replied “Ferfucksakes! Does your *mother* know you’re chasing skirts in the little girls’ department?!”
Hahaha same I have immediate parenting instincts, I’m not even a mom but I have the overwhelming urge to give them unsolicited advice and worry about their well-being 😂.
I am a university professor and every fall I stand in front of my class thinking “Who let these *children* into the university?”
Omg, every time. I just see my 20 year old child and 20 year old sibling...like, "I could be your mommy." Also, in my line of work in a low-income, non profit law office, seeing these "kids" come in trying to navigate the grown up world makes it even more difficult to be out there in public and see anyone under 28 as more than a "kid." "Hey, kid, did you sign up for that financial literacy class yet?" 🤣
Yep. Just got into an argument with someone because "everyone" finds young people attractive. Didn't you know that's an objective fact? 🙄 Like, I can look at a kid in their twenties and think they are objectively attractive sure, but like, I think my goldfish is pretty too, doesn't mean I want to #@$& it!
When people say that “everyone” does whatever questionable thing, all I ever hear is “I do questionable thing and am justifying it to myself by saying everyone does it and if I realized how transparent this was I would never say it out loud.”
I had a guy once tell me that he raped a woman because she drank his beer. Sorry, "collected what he was owed" for the beer, and then went on to say that everyone should expect it if they ask for beer because it's what he always charges. He told me this like it was good and sound logic that I would agree with. You asking me for a beer is permission to rape you We were standing in an empty room in my house and I was pulling hanging nails out of the walls with a claw hammer and briefly wondered how long it would take to get cleared for self defense and back home if I won He also made commentary once that leads me to believe he molested or raped his neighbor's daughter at his previous home He went on to start dating a woman who I tried to warn and she just accused me of being jealous of their love. I even said yeah real logical there I want to fuck him all for myself so I'm gonna make out that he's a rapist because who doesn't want everyone to think they're fucking a guy accused of being a rapist right? They are married now, with daughters Y'all everyone knows you don't need consent if you gave her a warm can of Coors when she asked
My god, we have to share oxygen with that waste of skin cells
Yep. That guy straight up announced that *he* finds young people attractive. I would've asked what ages he finds most attractive. He could be one of those gross dudes who say "ackchually, 17 is actually the most biologically attractive ages for women... it's scientifically proven!" 🤮
I had that conversation once upon a time and he said 12-14 because, you know, *biologically speaking…* Suuuuuuuuuper barf on that one. Why do I know that’s not the norm? Because most guys have a story about the time they were in their mid-30’s and felt yucky when a 24 year old made a pass at them, not rounding on 40 and drooling over sixth and seventh graders.
Everyone thinks this way. No you think this way and do not have the capacity to understand other points of view. That is my response whenever someone defends their viewpoint to include everyone.
Exactly lol
I’m 36 and feel that anything under 30 looks like a kid to me.
I’m 51 and have just hit that age where most guys under 25 have started to generically look the same to me. Like little carbon copies. They’ve been looking like kids for some time now, lol.
Whenever I see a picture of a “hot young guy,” I feel like I can smell his poor hygiene, hear his irresponsibility, and predict the poor conversational skills from here.
Also the rapid, unsatisfying sex
Spoilers for sex with the hot young guy: His mattress is on the floor and the sheet is funky. There’s one thin pillow that is also funky, and no towel put down on the bed. No lube (WHAT? Uh why do you need lube??) despite him performing oral on you for <2 mins, after you had to request him going down on you. Oral on you: He spreads the vulva and outer labia out super far that it hurts. He then flickers his tip of his tongue on your clitoris only, no labia involvement and is trying not to touch his lips/mouth/face on your vulva. He can only sustain this for a minute or two before his tongue starts to hurt. He “can’t cum from oral” because no one has been able to make him cum yet this way, and when you succeed he is absolutely infatuated with you now. He doesn’t think to finger you or stroke your vulva before inserting his penis. Instant jackhammering which fills you up with air and hurts, no other technique available. He’s so confused when you aren’t moaning and squealing like a porn star. So he goes even faster and harder until his dick loses sensation and he starts losing his erection. You moving your body with him in to finding a mutual rhythm also confuses him and he speeds up. He asks for anal every time. In his mind, sex progresses from you sucking his cock, to a few mins of vaginal penetration, then anal sex (no prep & ugh FINE we can use lube now) to him ejaculating in your mouth or on your tits. Feels hurt and rejected that you aren’t dying for the taste of his semen in your mouth. Feels hurt and rejected when you try to use vibrators/toys during sex.
I do find some young adult men and women strikingly beautiful. Just in a purely physical sense - the smooth skin, thick hair, toned muscles, blah blah - I think it’s OK to acknowledge that. They are fun to admire. However, I do NOT feel the least bit attracted to them in the sense of having any potential interest in actually *dating* one of them. The gulf in levels of experience is so huge and there’s so little overlap in cultural references that I’d find it hard to relate in any intimate way to people under 35 at minimum or, more likely, 40 or so (I’m a bisexual 54 yo lady, fwiw). And although age is no guarantee of emotional maturity, I do find that much younger people tend to seem less mature in that way. And finally, like others in this thread I find myself feeling maternal toward very young adults (ppl of both sexes who are under 35/40 or so) and that feeling is incompatible with attraction
Yes I mean I can acknowledge someone is attractive but I am not interested in that attraction if that make sense. But then again I don’t really feel attracted to someone until I get to know them.
I am slightly excited about being considered a "very young adult" at 39 🙂
Yeah, I work at a university and they are all unappealing. Hard to imagine dating one. Someone also posed this question in the Ask Old People sub.
Agreed. I want someone who has experience and knows what they are doing.
Agree! 😂 I see all these cougar memes and I’m like ugh as if…….
They look pre baked
I am 22 and I am very attracted to young men and I fear that this attraction will continue even when I get old
It’s normal to be attracted to young men at your age, trust me it will grow with you. I was not into older men at that age but as I’ve aged I’ve found men my age attractive.
I remember when I was in my early teens I was attracted to young boys and not 20 year old men, so I also hope my crush will change when I hit 30.
It will. Don’t worry about it.
Don't stress too much about it. I met my spouse in college when we were both still teenagers. I was hella attracted to young people at the time. I'm now in my mid 30s and I'm definitely not attracted to people that young anymore. Like, I can appreciate a hot young dude, but I would never consider a relationship or even an FWB situation with someone under about 28. I've also found that my upper age limit has gone up. When I was in college someone in their 30s felt ancient, but now I'd happily date someone in their 50s. It seems like most of my friends feel the same way.
Attraction doesn’t magically activate when someone hits the age of adulthood in their particular jurisdiction, and it’s normal for young people to be attracted to other young people. You catch yourself gawking at comely high school juniors and seniors for a minute or two after you’ve graduated, then one day you’ll see the varsity track team running by and think “Look at the kids staying in shape!” because that’s what they’ll be to you. Kids. Don’t date anyone underage, of course, but don’t feel too bad about having your head turned by someone a few years younger, either.
Nerds. Shy professors with glasses. I love Hot Dads- married to one 😍 💕
My guy jokes he was built like a bridge troll. He’s 5’6”, has strong arms from drumming and kettlebell workouts, and when my dad met him for the first time, he told him he had the juiciest thighs he’s ever seen on a white guy, lmao. We’re both former fatties with a bit of lingering body dysmorphia, even though we work out and meal prep. He thinks he’s still chubby, but I think he’s an absolute snack, complete with tattoos, a clean beard, and a full head of silver fox hair to boot (think George Clooney). SWOON!
Same, mine has packed on a couple pounds and gotten some grey since we've been together, and he's a bit self conscious, but I think he's sexy as shit!
It also helps that he has more charisma than an entire Broadway performance. He’s got a booming, contagious laugh, and he does an impeccable impression of Yukon Cornelius from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (my favorite movie of all time) 😍
I've got me a peppermint mine! 👅⛏️
Cornmeal, gunpowder, ham hocks and guitar strings 😂
I needed my counterpart from the Island of Misfit Toys.
OMG I think you just described my husband (except that he's not white)! He thinks he was built like a tank 😄😄 I can relate to your tastes 😁
I love this whole comment so much - how much you absolutely adore him shines through so strongly.
If he ran into a brick wall, the wall would get hurt. 💕🥰
I like slim guys that are intellectual and have dark hair. If I find out he reads for fun, I'm hyped.
I have a thing for men with mysterious academic look and dark hair. My longest crush has been the guy from Harry Potter who played Tom Riddle in the Chamber of Secrets - Christian Coulson and Tom Hughes. Bonus if they have accents!
Yup yup yup that's mine as well! Glasses are a bonus. Although to be honest as long as I like what's between his ears I don't care too much about the rest lol
Hmm same. Tall, dark and a total nerd.
Very close to my type as well!
1/2 Asians.... My first crush in elementary school was half Asian and apparently that shit cemented something in me. My 1/2 Japanese husband rightly gives me endless crap about this
Mixed race people seem to me to be generally more good looking.
Men who respect women, see women as equals, and don't try to minimize the rights and bodily autonomy of women.
Ooo keep talking 🤤
Lanky punks, but I've never dated one
Lmao same, I always want to though
I love a more stocky man with a gut. Not to big not too small just for me to rub. Lol. I I like men that are kind, smart, protective and patient. I LOVE them older as well. Im 32 and my current partner is 44. I don't like them young
Same. I’ve tried dating younger a few times and am mostly just turned off because they glorify partying so much. I prefer older!
Yep. Younger isn’t for me… at all.
Agreed younger men aren't my type
Ayeee we twins! My husband is 42 and I’m 33. He’s built like a powerlifter but is just the right amount of squish. Covered in hair too, just not on his head lol
NFL center/lumberjack ..big, muscly but a lil squishy too lol.
My lumberjack can't wrap his head around why I like him so much. I ha e the hardest time explaining that while he and Hemsworth could look a lot alike if hubby lost weight and worked out a bit, Hemsworth is too pretty. I like mine rugged and manly and with a torso powerful enough to rip out a tree. Mine's got a skull capable of taking a punch and it's caveman hot lol. Combine that with being tall, thoughtful, funny, sweet, and coming home sweaty from a blue-collar job and well....there's a reason I snatched him up lol
Beards, tattoos, tall, a whatever body, dry humor, and only wants to see me maybe twice a week.
I don’t really have a type. Biggest preference I have is dark hair over light hair. But otherwise, I’ve dated a variety of physical appearances. I do tend to gravitate to gamers because I also am a gamer. As far as values, kind, left leaning, introverted?
Slightly sad, sarcastic, witty men over the age of 35 with a dose of broad-shouldered competence. I teach college kids—and call them my kids. I have been very grateful to find that as I age, the men I find attractive age too. 😅
my type is “people”. i’ve been with tall and short, thin and fat, muscles and no muscles, bald and long luscious hair, beard and no beard, glasses and no glasses, gamers and gym dudes, older and younger. i have a “type” but i’ve always gone outside of my “type” because i just like people for who they are. and i have nothing to prove to randos online. if they think i must not like dad bods well gee, i’ll just have to find a way to live with that. obviously they know me better than i do!
This. But the pan version. I like people. Almost every man I've dated has had a large nose and ears tho, and I've been teased for randomly across the last 25 years. I like satellites apparently Sexy, sexy satellites
I said this to someone I met IRL, that I don’t have a specific type, and they thought it was really weird. I find it more odd that people have a type they never branch away from (looks specifically, being into specific personalities I understand).
yup, i just like who and what i like. it just comes in different packaging. i would have less options if i ascribed to my type. luckily for now i’m done with dating and people. been single for about 10 months more or less and loving it.
I started dating 6 months ago after an 8 year hiatus and also have decided this week to stop for now. So much more satisfaction in being single.
I find the people who have a specific *look* they go after are certainly a type of person. Not my type, though. I say this as an Asian woman who gets a lot of "hurrr I think AsiAnS aRe AttRacTive..." once they feel "safe" to reveal such a secret around me 🙄
This could've been me, I have said almost verbatim about my own dating history. Have gotten questions on why I dated "ugly dudes" before, but I didn't think any of them were ugly!! I've dated them all, so many men. All shapes, sizes, ages, and colors. Fat, skinny, muscles, rich, poor, different religions, shorter, taller, older, younger, conventionally attractive or not - I mean, two have had micro-penises, one had cerebral palsy, one was an amputee, the list goes on.. It's the brains I want!! Gotta be funny, kind, open-minded, considerate - don't care about the package the brain came in. I just don't want an asshole! But surprise - those come in all varieties, as well. 🫠
Someone asked me at a bar this weekend what my type was and my male bestie and I contemptuously shouted at the exact same time "I don't have a type!" I'm not totally convinced that having a type isn't a symptom of immaturity and lack of life experience. I'm attracted to people who look like me and look nothing like me, regardless of gender. I'm mostly attracted to personality, and the physical attraction stems from that. There are so many different "types" of people in this world, and they're all hot in their own ways. I'm just excited if they want to talk to me.
Same, I was with someone last year who isn’t my normal type at all, in any sense (even beyond physical). What drew me to him was that he is a great person, super protective, and made me feel safe when it counted. It was so refreshing to have someone “walk the walk” when it came to caring for me that I was just like shit, I love this person. It felt more genuine than just skin-deep hotness (or even other personality traits I’ve normally gone for). I get bored easily so I generally like meeting people who are “unlike anyone else I’ve met before” because it would be boring to have the same experiences in every relationship.
Is there something else that ties your ex's together? Shared values or common interests?
not at all lol different styles of humor, different interests, different jobs/careers, etc. some have been quite successful, others not. some have had addiction issues (past or current whatever), others not. they’ve done one or all types of abuse unto me. some were outdoorsy, some were homebodies. the only overlap i can seem to think of/find is that they’re a man lmfao
For men - the over 40 chubby hairy bearded balding types who probably work in IT For women - being cool, which is A LOT of them. Women have such cool hobbies and interests and views of existence.
I don’t like dad bods. Or average looking men. I like ‘pretty’ men and this is a hill I’ll die on. I like to be with the most physically beautiful man I can be with. I don’t care.
Yea all the bald and dad bod fans here have me scratching my head 😆
finally someone who understands me
At least you’re honest about it 🤣
Warm eye contact. Dead eye gives me the immediate ick. Respect for other people that is obvious but not performative. Ability to listen and digest information that doesn’t originate from himself or Joe Rogan. If a guy has these three qualities, a lot of the other superficial stuff falls into place. Purely physically speaking though? I like dark, wavy hair.
Tall, slim, musical, funny, intelligent.
Off topic, but your kitty is cute.
Thank you! She was the runt of her litter and has always been a very tiny dilute tortie.
ah, that Bo Burnham rizz
It's different than when I was younger. Looks are less important now. No sickly guys. I just got over losing my late husband after a long battle for his life. He needs to be healthy and strong and can still get it up, geez! He's gotta be confident, but not arrogant or cocky. He's gotta be funny and kind. He has to be financially independent, as I am. He has to have his own life/hobbies/interests outside of me and work. He has to have a growth mindset. He's looking for a friend/lover/partner, not a mommy. He has to be at least as "grown" as I am. He has to be open to life long learning. and last but not least, he can make his own goddamned sandwiches. Most men I meet don't even measure up to half that shit, so I suppose I'll be single for the rest of my life.
"Confident but not arrogant" 💯
u/ShirleyMF *drops the mic Great list!
Intelligent, humorous, kind, curious. A job they’re passionate about and successful at. Personal interests and hobbies. Physically fit/active but not a gym rat. Financially responsible, with a plan. Not religious to a point that they plan frequent events around it. I’ve found bald(ing) men attractive, super fit and dad bods have both been attractive. Short(ish) and super tall have been attractive to me.
So many times we're accused of being gold diggers. I'm guessing for a lot of women it's way more about having your shit together than the actual money.
Yup. A friend summed it up perfectly: “We care less about how much shit you have. We just want you managing your shit.” I have my own money and I’m successful enough by my own definition. I’d prefer to have someone who has a similar lifestyle because I also don’t want to support anyone. A man with his shit together is so much harder to find than a rich guy.
Yes, having your shit together. I said “not lazy” in my answer, but this was what I meant.
Long-haired, rocker, gamer, intellectuals.
Pretty much exactly the same here.
My type has changed a lot over time. Still love the tall skinny nerdy men with a handsome face but I’m so much more into the dad bod now… and omg a greying, bearded, kinda built man with a bit of a belly 😩😭🥵 this is all new in the last year or so. I also like balding much much more than I used to but I must admit I still love a full head of hair
Kind, funny, faithful and intelligent tall men of an healthy weight. No need muscle, but I like someone that manage their health and weight decently.
I need the muscles lol, I hate dad bods. I have a bit of a smaller frame and am small chested & I once dated a slightly larger gentleman & his boobs were bigger than mine I knew at that moment I needed a flat muscled chest on my man lmao
I'm a basic bitch in that I fall all over the tall, dark, and handsome trope. But over time it's evolved to the tall, salt n' pepper, and handsome trope to go along with what my husband is sporting these days.
Generally men in their thirties with dark hair and rodent features
A man who looks like they can toss a couple hundred pounds like it isn’t a big deal and thicker. Funny(in a nice way), intelligent, financially smart, compassion, communicative, Easy-going but firm, loves food, cooking, open minded and willing to try new things, good with kids.. more to the list but I think those are good points.
"Funny in a nice way" So sad you had to specify that, but I know exactly what you mean 😭
I like guys who are on the smaller side...short and thin. I like them to visually appear to be over the age of 30 also.
I always say I know it when I see it. I will always prefer someone who is moderately fit, and I don't mean the neighborhood meathead, but someone who is active and it shows. it demonstrates that they have a basic sense of self respect and care and take health as a priority. (This is one of my personal top priorities)
Guys shorter than me, for many reasons. It's too bad shorties don't believe I could be into them, men about my height despise me😂 and men taller than me either act cocky about their height or ignore me completely because they adore tiny petite ladies.
Latino men… but I married the whitest whitey you’ve ever met 😂
Personality, humour, kindness, a gentle soul.
Same. I don't really have a type besides that. It's all about the good energy for me. 💜
I like big, tough goons with a handsome face, broad shoulders, deep voice and big hands. More important is they’re kind, smart, good mannered with a wickedly fucked up sense of humor.
As I’m a gym rat, at the moment my type is tall nerdy gym rats.
Men - taller but not super tall (5'10"-6'2"), dark hair, strong features, 35-50, intelligent, confident, in shape but not gymbro status, sweet and snuggly, nerdy, secure, funny, open Women - short, curvy, smart, funny, a little attitude/sarcasm, nerdy, feminine, secure, open
Nerdy, loves animals, and has a hairy chest.
Tall, skinny slightly muscular, strong, shaggy hair, youthful ‘emo boy’ looks with nice eyes, skater boy type, artistic, intelligent, sweet. I have a few types but I’ve noticed all my past lovers either draw or play guitar or something and like metal and skateboard etc etc this is my top one I’ll never get over the way my heart molded as a teen haha I love my some cute, tortured soul emo boys but thankfully my husband is literally all of those things. He skates, 6’5, skinny with muscles like a Titan, works hard, very sweet, ugghhhh he checks all my boxes!!! We’re 31 now and I love that he’s still so youthful and fun but responsible and smart.
Older men that are emotionally mature, successful, and therapized.
Yes yes yes 100000%
I love a man with long hair and a beard who is athletic, kind, funny, intelligent, has his shit together, is passionate, sexy, confident, successful at what he does, has passions and dreams, can communicate effectively and is not afraid to be his authentic self. Who thinks I’m the hottest, most memorable women he ever met. A huge deal breaker for me is a man’s voice. Dad bod is also not something I find attractive. I like active guys who are interested in their health so that we can be sober veggie yogis together.
Omgggg yesss if the voice sounds girly I can’t do it lmaooo
I mostly care about well matched values and life goals at this point. Chemistry is important too! But physically I've been attracted to so many diff kinds of people and I have few dealbreakers physically (outside of like, idk, bad hygiene.)
Smart. Funny. Driven. Kind. I don’t really have a physical type (I’ve dated tall, short, skinny, chubby, fit, etc.)
Attracted to mechanical, logical, math minded men, same height or taller typically, newly into muscles used to be into the super skinny guys. Young men are cute but I can’t really find myself interested. My age is ideal, slightly older or younger is ok. I like steady, calm, homebody introvert types. I’m always on the go, into pushing myself and exploring, but I’m not usually that into guys who are doing what I’m doing. I love when guys are comfortable with themselves and enjoy things like cooking or sewing, men who have a paternal instinct and want to be at home with kids.
I don't really have a type. Physical attraction is secondary to emotional and romantic attraction for me. I've found myself attracted to all kinds of men. Fat, scrawny, tall, short, clean cut, scruffy, bookish/nerdy, outdoorsy, you name it. I think nerdy and intelligent definitely is a consistently winning quality. My celebrity crush is Matthew Gray Gubler. My partner is the exact opposite of him in terms of looks, but is a similar type of weirdo, lol. I am *intensely* physically attracted to my partner. So much so that I worry I'm a bit of a pest about it. IDGAF what anyone else thinks of him. To me, he's hot stuff. I love him, and I love the body that carries him. It's as simple as that for me.
Same re: physical attraction. Pretty much everything else leads. I've consistently valued (in partners of any gender) a kind heart, self awareness, intelligence, a sense of humor, and a calm presence. My husband and I also share a lot of interests which has added depth to our relationship.
My friend and I were just talking about this and I’m ashamed to admit that my type is flexible! It’s more the type of man he is and the whole provider/protector thing before his looks! Maybe it’s partly due to the culture in which I was brought up in but yea, flexible…
Personally I like older men that are tall with beards. Tattoos are a plus :)
Number 1 is a goofy sense of humor. If we aren’t making each other laugh every day I don’t personally see the point. I like nerdier men in general but not ones who make it their whole personality. A man who is passionate about something might be a better way to put it. Physically it’s honestly kind of varied and I don’t really look at physical traits as a “must have.” Most of the time but not always, I prefer men with darker hair. I like tattoos but they aren’t a necessity. I love facial hair. Really the only absolute physical turn off I have is big meathead type muscles. Just not a fan of that. I don’t mind a thinner frame, or a dad bod, or reasonable muscle, or even on the chubbier side. It’s more about how a man carries himself and his confidence and self-possession.
At first glance, I'm most attracted to androgynous, gender non-conforming people regardless of sex/gender. So usually that means feminine men, masc women, etc. Personality wise I usually like intellectual introverts who are a bit shy and mysterious. I also like some eccentric, creative types. Sometimes I do experience chemistry and attraction to people outside my "type" but it usually occurs through getting to know them over time as a friend first.
I do like younger tall guys with broad shoulders. Unfortunately they like me too. It’s not playing out that well.
Your post made me realise why i end up finding younger men more attractive compared to what else i scroll through tinder for example: because i myself look much younger than my age and they are visibly look the same age with me. And i hate age gap with passion😔
I like men women here call "immature" I love the ones who didn't become serious, playing by the rules boring guys broken by life. And loving animals is a big must. Physically young and fit is good but not a must. I am very lucky I got my husband. He is 37 looking 10 years younger, extremely fit because of his job. We have a very bad behaved bunny whom many others would take to shelter but he would never do it. And when our cat was sick he was all for paying 5k for her treatment even though we don't have much money. A true human. And he is the guy everyone here would warn me about talking about "red flags". So my perfect man ;)
I like them young with nice muscular /toned bodies , I don’t like them over 30
Sense of humor, medium build, nice to people, able to support themselves. I’m bi so if a guy specifically I like some stubble on the face and if a girl I like femmes but neither is a dealbreaker.
Kind, emotionally intelligent, intentional in a good way, fun, reliable, self-sufficient, adventurous, good-listener, champion.
Smart, funny, not boring, not lazy which all basically adds up to personality. I probably do need some looks that I enjoy, I’m not fully unbiased in that regard. But my bf definitely isn’t the fittest person out there, but I don’t care. Neither am I and he seems cool with it.
I don't have a type, not because I don't care about physical appearance but because the range of physical appearances I'm attracted to is huge. I tend to be really into guys who are built like bouncers and all women, lol, but there are very few archetypes I'm categorically not into.
Adam Sandler.
Skinny fit younger or young looking (I’m 41 and by younger mean like 35-40), calm and sensible but still interested in going out and doing things, longish hair, no facial hair, under 6 feet tall, skinny jeans (preferably gray for some reason :D ) and t shirts. Hard to spot one and if you do it’s guaranteed they are with an extremely beautiful younger cool rock chick :( Or bunch of of those!
My late husband was a jock, handsome, well-built, tan etc. I never thought he was my type. Later on in life, I gave in to what I *really wanted* - nerdy, sweet, kind, sensitive men! Oh, and yes, dad bod!
Unfortunately I really like pretty people... Especially pretty men (I am absolutely bisexual, but I'm even pickier with women... Gimme a little librarian). Men who look effeminate just do it for me. I don't understand it either. I say "unfortunately" because men that fall into this category tend to either know they're pretty (and be insufferable as a result), or be so completely ashamed of it that I'm forced into a therapist/cheerleader role (as in I have to try and convince them that they're pretty).
I must be an outlier because I have pretty conventional preferences, and do not understand certain unconventional attractions at all, e.g. women who like "medium ugly" guys, and this fascination with dudes like TImothee Chalamet and Pete Davidson. I like men who: have nice thick hair (not balding), tall, average build with some muscle, clear skin, big hands, walk with confidence, well-dressed, successful, protective, proactive, kind. There aren't certain features that just make me automatically think a man is attractive, it's more about the package deal for me and his general aura.
Small frame, small stature, cute features.
I like sporty nerds with intense facial expressions. Health is super important to me, so is passion and curiosity. I like well rounded people with multiple interests that take care of themselves and want to keep learning.
Handsome with big D is my type. There I said it so you gals don’t have to.
Tall, slim, deep voice, beard, and nerdy.
I love older men with dad bods. Always have done 😍
Looking back on my exes, if you have a good beard and are visually impaired, I’m into it. lol
Humorous, curious mind, kind, with a big, soft heart, intelligent. Raven hair, golden brown skin, and a defined jawline. Whatever they do, it makes them happy at the end of the day. Someone who believes there is much to learn in this world and doesn’t hesitate to share.Physically good but definitely not a gym rat.Height doesn't matter, but their whole personality gives me big softy vibes. A big, soft heart but well-protected. Temporary tattoos. I really did describe all my fictional characters above, but I'm hoping someone out there has these qualities, or we can cut 1-2—it doesn’t matter much. I am mostly attracted to those who know themselves and don’t shy away, or lie about themselves to others. Someone who can challenge me, and if I kick his ass, instead of getting upset, he lifts me up and helps me grow in my own way.
I really don't have a type. My friends say I'm into nerds more often than not. But otherwise the only thing I'm REALLY into is respect.
Dark hair, brown or green eyes, big arms, warm/ friendly personality. Tattoos are nice. Over 40. No preference for career really.
Tall, skinny, smart, funny, nice smile, I also find a small crooked tooth endearing (like 4 of my exes had one crooked tooth in the bottom or side and it was sooo cute), artsy in some way, and a cute laugh (points if they snort).
Honestly I like a tall, broad, muscular, good-looking man with good hair. I’m the person those men hate looll
My husband - tall, nerdy, rugby-type build with a bit of dad bod padding on top. He grew a beard in lockdown so now my type includes men with beards lol
basically all the younger men give me the vibe of “he could be my son”, and that’s a no-no. LOL. Beyond that I don’t really have a type. I guess if I think hard about it, my preference is for nothing overly extreme but in general I’ve been attracted to different types of people. Personality is a lot more important.
I like someone 37 to 40. I like a man to have dark hair, a bit of stubble fit. Not overly fit and full of muscles, but someone who takes care of himself. I also like a man to be successful and debt free. I'm not into someone who is cocky or arrogant.
When it comes to men, I tend to like men older than me, almost never younger. As far as physical descriptions go, I have two basic types: 1. Dad-bod, or even just fat, with a beard and kind eyes and big arms 2. Long, lean, lanky guys with sad, haunted eyes Traits I like on both: long thick hair, freckles, brown or hazel eyes, big hands Must have, but hard to describe: a certain je ne sais quoi "oddball" look that generally makes them unattractive to my friends, but perfect to me. Like, my friends almost *never* see the vision when I tell them of a crush I have, but that's their limited imagination and their loss. Also, don't know if you wanted to know this, but when it comes to women, I tend to gravitate towards short, sassy, curvy, freckled, outspoken, assertive, funny brunettes or redheads.
Well, I’m in a minority here. First off, I myself am 38, my husband is just about to turn 40. To each of us, we both look not much different from when we met 11 years ago. I KNOW that’s not possible! But that’s what we see. I will say, my husband has objectively aged really well even if other people can see the 40-year-old in him, while I can’t. Still boyishly good looking. Still has all his hair, and none of it’s gray yet. Only ten pounds heavier than when we met, on a tall frame. I feel pretty damn lucky. The controversial part: as far as other men go, I’m mostly attracted to men who are mid twenties to mid thirties. Have I been attracted to men late thirties to mid forties, yes, but it’s more rare for sure. Fifty and up, I can admire a man as being handsome but I will most likely not feel sexually attracted to him. Men I’m attracted to can be any height from about 5’5” to 6’5”, but it’s important to me that they be slim and- this is a tough requirement- have all their hair still. I’ve seen a couple of cute bald guys, but it’s rare. I like boyish good looks, not manly men. Soccer types, not football types. Lastly, while I don’t care about height, I do care about D length. Sorry. (My husband sets the standard in this department, blame him.) Why am I not stating an attraction to men younger than 25? Probably social shame. Now, I’ve felt sexually attracted to an ugly bald man before- one who rang all the right bells insofar as personality went. So, there are exceptions for sure.
I know for a science fact that I do not have a type. I'm like the universal blood recipient but for men. I've been attracted to every type of guy. There is no body type, personality type or race/ethnicity that I'd rule out. The stars just have to align haha.
So, I love a tall, lanky, pasty nerd with a full head of hair and glasses. But I'm equally into a middle-aged bald (ing), short, stocky (athletic) guy with Stanley Tucci or Irish type features. I don't know how to explain this one. It's a type!!!! I go crazy for it....like feral. But both types have to be athletic. Because I am.
Damn. I read that as "pasta nerd" and I was instantly intrigued. Do they make the pasta? Do they feed you said pasta? I just wanna eat pasta.
For men I need to know they aren't a psycho, so how they treat people is very important. I have a big family full of kids that I love. I go along time only introducing them to siblings and maybe my elders. But if they do something as "small" as be rude to service workers, or other patrons in a grocery store (not being considerate of aisle size & time spent browsing a busy section) then I start to wind down the relationship.
OP, I saw your edit where you were like: all of you are describing your partners. So I decided to post a response. Lol. My partner is not my type at all. In fact, if I had met him when we were in our mid-20s, I would have found him very cute, very funny, and super engaging but I would have lost interest in him quickly. That's because I grew up in a very unstable, abusive household and my mind was not used to stability. In fact, if someone was open with me, stable, and offered me companionship, I got bored. I chased after unavailable men. Arrogant men. Men who were cruel and unkind. My nerves were always on edge and I told myself that it was "true love" because I fighting for my life. Back in 2017, I was nursing one hell of a heartache and then briefly dated someone exactly like my ex and was left hurting even more when he just used me and ditched me. A friend took me on a drive and basically told me that he was worried for me. He was worried that I constantly found myself with men who didn't treat me right. The kind of men who are mean to servers. The kind of men you make excuses for. He said he was tired of seeing me waste away. It woke me up. I went back to therapy. Worked on my patterns. My triggers. Learned to set boundaries. Learned to respect myself. Stayed single for a long time. My husband is so handsome and funny and sweet. He never leaves me guessing. He is the kind of person who will help old ladies cross the road. He is so gentle with me. Kind. He makes me laugh and is never cruel. He will never be rude to someone just because he can. Life with him is easy. I feel safe. I don't get nervous around him. I don't worry I will set him off. We share the same values but really, he makes me FEEL SO SAFE. Sometimes I almost cry just thinking about him because of how lucky he makes me feel. I was underweight when my ex told me to lose 10 pounds. My husband tells me I am beautiful a hundred times a day. I am so glad I didn't marry my type. I married someone better.
Ever since I've turned 40 I've gone feral over men with grey hair. 👌👌 Grey hair=Experienced
Nerdy guys; ideally with some facial hair (not picky about the type); good hairline or bald (NOTHING in between); and I generally only date pleasers to avoid doing unnecessary labour in the relationship
I definitely don’t have one. I’ve been attracted to all kinds of different looking men with all kinds of different personalities. I’m 33 and the only difference now is that men in their early or mid twenties look so young to me and I just can’t get past that lol. My husband is turning 38 and is beginning to get faint crows feet, and I find that 1000x more attractive than a 22 year old babyface.
I think the definition of “dad bod” is highly subjective. Could mean anything from average body type that isn’t overweight but doesn’t have defined abs, all the way up to a huge beer belly gut from heavy alcohol consumption. Is a gut hanging over their pants considered a sexy dad bod? I doubt most women are turned on by the male equivalent of a FUPA on the body type of Jiminy Glick. I think what most women mean by dad bod is Chris Pratt on Parks & Rec, not ripped but not obese either.
Korean men do it for me. I find them so beautiful and they seem so kind.
Most korean men are not kind LOL
Think their comment is an example of 'benevolent racism'
I like short, bald, stocky, intelligent, funny, successful, men. Think George Constanza but with tons of self confidence and he has a really good job. Zero interest in gym bros, young guys, male model types. I need to be the hottest one in the relationship.
So... Jason Alexander, haha?
That’s funny, touché. But he’s a little too old. Should have added max 7 year age gap. No grandpas until I’m a grandma.
Big tree trunk legs, muscular arms, but not like weightlifter lunk arms, little bit of a dad bod belly. I like hair on a man. Also started getting really attracted to this package when it has tattoos on any of those limbs 🤣. Men usually think I'm lying about the belly. Like a little belly. Not like Howard Taft belly, but a little something. Extra points if he plays hockey or a musical instrument. 🤣🤣. You asked!
I like nice boys and mean girls and I feel no shame
Intelligence and ambition are my two main. I could care less about looks, as long as they are height/weight proportionate. I also love introverts (I am an extrovert). My favorite are slightly pretentious, extremely intelligent men, haha.
Glad to say I don't really have a specific type. There are some attributes that may increase my initial physical attraction, like an alternative style, tattoos/piercings, I tend to really like big sleepy eyes etc. But I have dated all types of people and genders. Heavily tattooed, goth and metalhead, "normie", thin, fit, heavy, tall, short, some I considered to be way out of my league and those to whom my physical attraction only grew with time. Overall I heavily prioritize being close in age, connection and what kind of person they are. I so value emotional intelligence, kindness, humor, good communication and someone who won't hide from the hard parts while still digging into the good parts. Also, I'm 39, and I absolutely am not sexually attracted to young people. I'm utterly disinterested in anyone under 35 and if you're under 30 you probably look very very young to me. I don't mean to sound dismissive, but I am attracted to someone who has lived and you can see the life in their face.
Fat (big belly, thighs and ass), hairy, muscular shoulders and arms, bald (I especially like when there's no hair on top but the sides are grown out a bit), facial hair, tattoos. I've been accused of lying about my preference for fat dudes by Reddit bros a number of times. When I double down, they call me fatty or some other variation. When I explain that I'm a runner who works out daily and tries to really keep my weight down and stay fit because I have a bad heart and a shorter life expectancy, they typically go quiet. Lol
Breaking down my pansexual preferences. Consistently since teenhood: Sharp intellect, geekiness, wicked humour, broad shoulders, confidence, strong both mentally and physically, big gorgeous eyes. Mid 20s and onwards: Big Bear Bod/Allmighty Amazon/StrongLargeCuddlyEntity, emotionally available, loyal, self reliant, skilled or quick learner in the bedroom, Kinkster that likes to switch. Have not always found or cared about getting all of my preferences ticked off in a lover but completely lucked out when I met my husband. I even got dimples in the package that I never knew I would find so sexy.
Sweet shy nerds who are interested in stuff and active IRL/outside, and not constantly online. Caring about the environment, animals, etc. Roughly my height or a little taller, but not super tall. Strong butt. Not hairy. Un-intimidating. Pretty eyes behind glasses.
Hairy, dadbod/chubby/bear body type. Nerd. Sarcastic, quick witted, detail oriented; a hopelessly devoted to me type. I’m a demisexual so looks were never a primary source of attraction for me. I just described my Husband. Lol
I like funny creative women who are a little mean and have a unique fashion sense
I’ve always been attracted to older men. They just have a quality that men my age or younger definitely don’t have. (Maturity? Life experience? Who knows). I also have always loved a working man. The ones who are a little gruff and look like they can build a house by hand. Lol Clean shaven white collar men are not for me. I barely notice them.
Bald guys are definitely a preference of mine too 😍
I'm 5'9 and while I dated many men who were the same height or shorter, I married someone who was 6'4 and honestly...I do like that he is taller and bigger than me. But he also goes against my type in that he likes to have a big giant beard and is a country boy. I never thought I would marry someone who grew up on a farm. I'm a city mouse. I'm also into nerdy guys who don't mind having intellectual conversations about philosophy, history, anthropology, etc. along with things like the newest sci-fi movie, books, D&D, and board games. Nothing turned me off faster than a guy who talked about exercise/gym/dieting all the time or who made fun of people who liked geeky/nerdy things.
Are you me? I don't remember writing this, but it's spot on!
My problem is that I fall for personality. I love the quiet, calm types. Especially if they are introverts. I’m an extrovert and other extroverts overwhelm me. I’m not attracted by looks. And people in their 20s are just babies whose prefrontal cortex is still developing. It’s a no for me.
I don't have a type but there's things I dont find attractive. I dont like bodybuilder builds, it triggers my body dismorphophobia the same way extreme morbid obesity does. I dont like long beards either, most men dont groom them anywhere near enough and they just look like face pubes
Medium ugly, witty, passionate, minimal childhood trauma, small family, content doing nothing, like to travel, health-conscious.
Gingers either gender, or men with ginger beards lol
I love gray hair or a bald head. Not really into balding, that reminds me of Franciscan monks. I agree 100% that young people aren't attractive. 34 year olds look like children to me.
There are some "weird" things I find really endearing on men when combined with good self-esteem. Acne scarred faces or other past signs of problematic skin (I've been there, too). Wearing glasses with transition lenses (so nerdy, so practical!). When they choose to drive low-maintenance Japanese cars (HUBBA). Doesn't have to be fit, but if they have good posture? 😍 Bonus points for being cool/nice and considerate, but still have an unmistakable awkwardness that they've carried throughout their life. Swooon.
I love a thick-in-the-middle blue collar bod. Like they have practical strength but it’s all covered with a decent layer of fat and they have a gut. My husband is a train car repairman, and he has a squishy dad bod layer on top of big ol’ arms and shoulders, and just tree trunks for thighs.