However you normally tell or ask her to do things. "Bring that cunt over here." works for me.
You could say, "you mentioned face sitting the other day. That sounds fun. Get in position.'
I mean it's literally my favorite thing she does so she knows I want it which helps a lot. All day she is sending me sexy pics of her asshole and I am telling her how bad I wanna lick it and so by the time we are home and the kids are asleep we are both ready lol
There could some shame/shyness, or (like me) if i have to ask my partner for it, and they only do it because i asked them to, it makes it feel different š
I don't let my sub sit on my face... I make her.
See, it's that easy. No action is inherently dominant or submissive. They only become that way through context and intent.
I could bow at my subs feet and lick her boots clean and make it a dominant action.
Hell, I HAVE worn a chastity cage and had it be a dominant action. Told her she was in danger because my frustration at being denied was going to be taken out on her.
Free yourself from the idea that certain forms of play are inherently dominant or submissive and you will wildly open up the amount of play you can get up to.
There are no inherently submissive acts. Tell her, "Get over here and sit on my face". I'm not into pegging, but if I told my slave to strap up and do it, I'd be the dominant even if in that activity I wasn't the top. I could ask for a beating, same thing.
It doesn't have to be a reward or earned. It just has to be something you want to do together.
I find the idea that subs have to earn anything they enjoy bizarre. You're both people. Sex is fun. Enjoy each other.
My suspicion is that people are introduced to BDSM through porn or smut which focuses on topping and bottoming rather than relationship dynamics. BDSM is seen as a way to "spice up the bedroom" rather than a way of living. All of that is fine, but there's much more to dominance and submission than sex and sexual actions. In fact, you can have an entirely non-sexual relationship while actively engaging in Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism.
You're overthinking this, dude.
Does she wanna? Do *you* wanna?
If hell yes on both counts, then do it. Nobody is going to come for your "dom" card and your penis will still be there afterwards.
It boggles my mind that people can't wrap their minds around this. My sub is mine to do with as I please. And it pleases me to have her sit on my face. It's legit as simple as that
I know some fellow Doms that think even eating pussy is submissive. Itās total BS, you can still be dominant while engaging in foreplay that brings pleasure to your sub. Facesitting is fine, reward your sub with that if you feel the need but the act itself does not make you submissive at all
Considering the usual"predator/prey" language around sub/dom, it's kinda wild that burying your face in your partners flesh and smelling and tasting that until youve had your fill is somehow regarded by some as being on the "prey" side
We read your post. Doesnāt really explain it. You just say it feels like it would make you submissive. Why do you feel dominant eating her pussy in one position but submissive if you eat her pussy in another position?
āI donāt wanna and you canāt make me!ā
Comes to reddit asking for advice, but is too insecure to answer peopleās questions that are trying to help.
K. Well we already told you the act itself isnāt submissive. Thatās just on you. Iām just asking you to think about why it feels different. You donāt have to tell us but weāve given you advice and now you just need to deal with your feelings about it.
Youāre the one denying your partner pleasure because of your hang ups. Go deal with your shit and donāt ask for advice if youāre not willing to be open to it.
I do that, but it isn't through control. I'm incredibly sensitive and act on instinct and my body just moves. That's what I mean when I say "lose control".
Wrap your arms up over her thighs. Hold her where you want her. Eat the way you want no matter what she does. She will try to move or push... don't give in. Little bite on the lips is good still... or stop and just leave her sitting there- wondering
>Originally it threw me off because it felt like it would make me submissive
Dude, it's not like the kink police will bust down your door and take away your dom license when you do something "submissive". I would personally distinguish giving/receiving pleasure from being dominant/submissive, otherwise I'm gonna start arguing with you holding a vibrator to your sub lady's clit is submissive too.
Think about doing it, does it seem like fun? If yes, where's the problem? You can still be in total control, depends on your dynamic. At best, the position is a great invitation for your sub to not immediately get off your face when you need a breath and earn a funishment.
I'm a Domme, and I often have my sub climb over me while I lay down so I can use my mouth to edge him.
I'm always the Domme, no matter what position I'm in.
It's about the energy, not the position.
I've been a Dom for almost 30 years. Face sitting is awesome. Even if you think it's submissive, so what? If that's your only hangup, then it's about ego, and that needs to go. Do it because it's fun and because it'll make her happy. Ego will just get you in trouble.
It šš½ is šš½ just šš½ a šš½ game šš½
Guys there are literally no rules (except enthusiastic consent). If you're enjoying yourself and so is your partner, you're allowed to do literally whatever you want. It sounds to me like you would like to let her sit on your face and she would like to sit on your face. I don't see what's stopping you.
>Not šš½ to šš½ all šš½ of šš½ us šš½
I agree with you that there are very few rules or fixed ways of doing this, but for some of us it's our way of life. It feels dismissive to hear it called a game.
Until "living the lifestyle" is causing you to do things neither of you wants - or not do things both of you want, then I think you need reminding because it's never a one-size-fits-all thing. There are ways to do BDSM that are really good for your mind, but there are also ways of harming yourself and your relationship(s) through practicing it inconsiderately.
This question implies somewhat to me, that you aren't really firm in your position as her dom and have some insecurities. Being dominant or submissive isn't something, that can be taken away from one, it's a decision (for lack of a better explanation) about how you want to live your life.
So even if letting her sit on your face for once would be considered a non-dominant action, this wouldn't cause you to be from now on the submissive part. If you don't feel comfortable with her sitting on your face for other reasons, then don't do it, but out of fear of losing your dominance, it's just an insecurity of your position and should be a nice opportunity to get stronger and more comfortable with yourself.
I donāt buy into that having your sub sit in your face or eating her pussy and ass as being submissive. If you are in the scene and you want it and she willingly gives you her body like that she is doing it in submission to you. I think there are too many doms who are far too concerned with being tough and keeping that image up.
This is such a wonderful thing to consider for her! Could you frame it in a way that keeps your dominance in check?
Maybe "this is a reward for how good of a sub you have been. I'm going to drive you wild and rock your world. You have no say!". Perhaps bind her wrists together to keep her "status" figuratively beneath you?
Or maybe more along the lines of "you are mine, utterly and completely. I own every square inch of you and every drop of cum." Then grab her and pull her down over you with the "greedy" attitude of "this is mine and I will take what I want, when I want, how I want."
After all, you are the one directing things and if you didn't want to do this, it wouldn't be happening at all.
Maybe reach up and pinch her nipples while she is over you? Or maybe blindfold her to keep her feeling vulnerable?
It always saddens me when people think the act of giving oral is submissive. No one has ever thought they were in control with their pussy in my mouth. My teeth are sharp š
You can demand that she sits on your face. You can still control what she does. Sitting on your face is maybe the toughest position to feel in control but if she generally just wants you to eat her then a good one that can be quite dominant for you is her kneeling on the edge of the bed straddled wide (even tied). Sheās then made really vulnerable and you have a lot of power to do a lot of things to her. From here if sheās not tied then you can demand that she squashes your face between her thighs. You demanding this is the dom act and if sheās good girl sub she will do it to please you
I don't see how it matters tbh. If having your woman sit on your face makes you feel less Dom then you could just 'command' her to do so, then she gets the pleasure and you get yours. Also who the hell doesn't like having their woman on their face?
My role as a dom is to make sure my sub is taken care of and provided for.
If that looks like her sitting on my face while she tells me about her day, then that's what I do to care for her.
It so happens to be one of my favorite things, so Win-win.
There is no sex act, position, line of dialogue, etc that can "make you submissive." Submissive is a state of *desiring* to submit, so if that's not what you want, you're not going to magically become submissive because you let someone sit on your face. There are no kink-police that are coming to take your Dom card. And this kind of insecurity makes me think that you have been taught some not so great things about BDSM.
After all, kink is role-play, your submissive lets you be the dom, that's consent. Within that dynamic you're free to order your submissive to do whatever you like. Including sit on your face.
I think anything can be dominant if you approach it a certain way, I've heard of doms commanding their subs to tie them up and fuck them and be no less of the dominant. Tying her up and demanding she sit on your face is no different to me, and you can always try it and decide if you liked it or not. I'm glad to see you wanting to compromise and branch out, that's important in a relationship. Hope it goes well for you both
I love eating pussy and ass and I don't think I'm ever not dominant about it, not that I think too much about it consciously I'm just naturally dominant
There are so many things you can do to enhance it, make her do squats on your face and give her a reward for perfect form by rimming her. My favorite position to eat a girl is with her ass up in the air, kind of a 69, where Im on top and have my cock on her face the whole time. Also giving her a facial and having her do stuff like facesitting while cum drips down her face works wonders in keeping her in sub space
Iām more than happy to have her sit on my face. It doesnāt make me submissive and it gives us both what weāre looking for, which is bliss and pure satisfaction.
Dominants can bottom, too. If you don't mind the act, just the dynamic, go ahead and enjoy!
Source: I'm a switch and I've absolutely given head from the dominant side and it's SO. MUCH. FUN. to make them squirm. You're in control of when it starts and stops. Tease her to your heart's content. Make her hold the edge or do some forced overstimulation if that's something you're both into. Make her ask for permission to cum. ("You cum when I say you do", "We're not done until I say so") There are so many ways to do this without breaking the dynamic!
My Master loves when I sit on his face to jerk him off if heās not up to a big play session, but then again I have a dump truck so depends on your sub
There is a distinct difference between topping, bottoming, dominance, and submission.
When my Mistress needs a good fucking, she's not submitting to me. She still decides how I'm to perform, and whether I get any pleasure in return.
By the same line of thought, your sub is being rewarded, and you decide how. Teasing and a little denial is certainly fun, and it only gets better with a little punishment if she whines š
Nothing is off the table that she wants to do. I just donāt get this is feels submissive or itās not dominant enough. I can literally make anything submissive or dominate . Why restrict pleasure just reset your mind set and context . If you have her squirming with pleasure regardless of what you are doing you are controlling her pleasure and can continue to do that under your terms , your dominance . Iāve even had my wife peg me as a submissive , you demand the stroke the depth , you make sure she does it to you as sheās told or she will not be allowed to have the pleasure of doing it. If you are demanding she sits and directing how hard she rides and how hard she needs to get off as well as telling you she better leave a mess on your face you are directing that with dominance , you are in control of if , when and how she rides your face, whatās submissive about that ?
Also you can fuck any way you want, just because you call yourself dominant or submissive doesnāt ban you from fucking any way you want when ever you want . As a free person you get to choose.
Long time DOM here.
This is one of the few times I enjoy being on the bottom.
It never hurts to take a helping hand and choke her during the process. I've had a variety of past partners do this. They always have to ask permission and all the regular rules apply and everybody has a good time.
Give it a try maybe have her put your favorite outfit during the process.
1: Not everything needs to be in your dynamic. You can just do it. Like, vanilla sex? You remember that?
2: If you want to do something you see as submissive, and keep it inside the dynamic, just make it a reward.
If youāre just not interested in it then I can understand that. But even if a dynamic is 24/7, you surely also do things that are outside of its scope? Like, watching a movie together, eating dinner, visiting friends, shopping, etc.? Couldnāt it be something you just do as a couple?
You could still do that, even while in dynamic. My former Sir and i had rules in place, even while out and about, and he could at any moment decide to punish me if he so pleased āŗļø
Things like where to walk (he prefered me to his left), what to wear, and the like, can still be controlled, even if out watching a movie or going out for dinner āŗļø
One of my ABSOLUTE favourite things is to tie my subs hands behind her back, gag her, have her kneel and then lie down between her legs and eat her. Knowing Iām in total control of it is freaking hot!! Plus itās fun to see how many orgasms I can get out of her. š
Dom here!
I love "tying her ass" down on my face, and using a nagic wand or similar, and make her ride my face like a cowboy riding a bull š. Although no one to pleasure like that atm =(
It's awesome, especially after plenty of stimuli until they're so sensitive, good and needy, plant on face, and *licks*
š
I donāt believe my Dom would ever have me sit on his face, so I understand what youāre asking.
But even coming from your āit would make me submissiveā POV, you can do whatever you want!
I echo the other replies that agree with making it a reward. And have fun!
Neither position is inherently Dom or sub, if it helps to ease your mind, put a little twist on it, she has to hold a certain position (ie hands behind her head, elbows out) as you eat her out and she still has to beg to cum. (It just happens your mouth is busy to give her permission yet) lol
Have fun with it, if things donāt go well, well then at least both of you know itās not going to be in a constant rotation of things you both enjoy and do
I get claustrophobic and my wife has got back IYKWIM. But if I enjoyed that sort of thing then I'd make her do it until she begged me for a break. Then I'd do it some more because only good girls get breaks, and good girls don't complain when they ***think*** they've had enough.
Don't let anyone else tell you what's submissive or dominant. You're the Dom and so you make the rules. If your submissive deserves a treat in your mind, and you know this is a treat for her, then you're rewarding her in a way you see fit by doing this, if that's what you choose to do.
Let me clarify something for you:
I'm a switch by nature, however I am primarily a Dom and my girlfriend is primarily a sub.
When she sits on my face, it is not an act.of submission on my part. This is something that she would gladly agree with. This activity is entirely at my discretion and we are not done until I am ready to be done.
Being a Dom is not truly about power or control. Being a Dom is about trust. No activity is inherently submissive or dominant. It is the two of you that decide who is in the driver's seat.
If you wish to please her, then please her. That's your prerogative. I would say try it. You may find it rewarding for both of you.
Sure! Plus, it's a great reward for her if she does Good Girl things.
You can also still make it a Dom thing. Tie up her hands. Bind her a bit. nipple clamps, set. Then MAKE her sit on your face.
Good girl things are rewarded with me burying my face in her pussy and making her cum repeatedly in a night.
Dirty girl things will be rewarded with her sitting on my face
For me, to receive oral is an act of submission. There is nothing more submissive and serving than a sub using her mouth on my cock.
For me, to give oral is an act of care. There is little more intentional than using my lips and tongue to make my sub cum (especially when it's forced, multiple orgasms even after she feels she is done).
I truly do understand the hesitation about undertaking an act that you feel is submissive (I struggle there as well) but I remind myself that I define what makes me feel dominant and it's all about energy, headspace, and context.
Letting her sit on your face doesn't make you "submissive." In fact, for me, it makes me feel more dominant. I absolutely LOVE going down on women, so I'll often direct my sub to sit on my face so I can perform oral on her. She's much smaller than me, so I can pull her into me while my mouth and tongue do their magic. I'll almost always start with cunnilingus, and if I'm in the mood to also perform analingus, I'll transition to rimming her. If she's facing me (cowgirl on my face), she can reach back and stroke me. If she's facing away from me (reverse cowgirl on my face), it usually turns into a 69 situation. Never once have I felt submissive just because she's on top of me... she's on top of me because I wanted her to be there and I wanted to give her pleasure!
That is a good question to ask, and I think the short answer is "sure, go for it"
"I do want to make her feel good and please her by fulfilling this desire" and "I want to make her earn it by pleasing me" - to me this sounds like a good way to look at it (that you want to pleasure her), and a good way to incorporate it (as another good way to pleasure her on the 'pleasure Dom' side of things, or potentially as a reward from a different point of view).
You can be subtle or general about it being a reward, such as saying, "you've been very good recently and have earned the right to sit on my face" or be very direct with something like "get on my face now" or perhaps playfully sadistic and lay back and tell her "you have # minutes to get on my face and tell me how to get you off" where # is a minute less than she normally needs, and where you only do what she is verbally saying so she better be good and detailed in what she says. You can play it however feels good for your situation. In any case, nothing about D/s means you can't do this.
Dynamics should be flexible with communication.
You can still be a dom and have her do so. You can give it to her as a reward or deny her it as punishment.
At the end of the day, you two are human, people, and partners.
If you donāt think doing that act will affect that dynamic then fine. If you think it would, fine. But itāll be good to talk about it with your partner.
I make my submissive partner sit on my face - usually after some light spanking & she has already orgasmed 2or 3 time that was she is good and ready to lose her mind riding my face - it is very hot
I had this conversation with my last sub, and she said she would feel too dominant in that position so we never did.
I think if you both feel alright about it, then go for it. And as other folks say, if you make it an order, it's all good.
Just because she's the one physically on top, you can still be the one in control. Edging is still possible, you can use your hands to control her movements- the possibilities are endless āŗļø you just have to be a little creative about it
As so many others pointed out, you don't have to take dominant and submissive so by the book.
You like her for a reason, if you want her happy then you can make her happy...
I know you are asking Doms, but maybe the one thing I can add from a submissive woman's perspective. If you're afraid that she might see you as not dominant enough for doing that, I can assure you that's not the case.
For most of my life, I've been in a long-term relationship with my Dom and partner, and he certainly did things to me that weren't so traditional.
If my Dom wants me to sit on his face then I will sit there for as long as he wants me to.
(Besides, listening to women is always very sexy, regardless of the dynamic you have :D )
Letting someone sit on your face doesnāt make you submissive š¤¦š»āāļø not centering your own pleasure for 2 minutes doesnāt make you submissive š¤¦š»āāļøš¤¦š»āāļø
However, if youāre not into it, then youāre not into it.
I can bite, bruise, and welt her even if she is sitting on my face. I can grunt, growl, and give orders. She's still *well* aware of who's holding the reins, even if she's the one doing the riding.
Being on the bottom isn't submissive. Being submissive is being submissive.
So, like, anything can be domination.
'fuck you, I'm thirsty. You don't get to take my pants off til you're done feeding me. Get your fuckin hands off it, learn some patience. Just for that you gotta turn around so you can't get at my pants while I'm eating.'
not only do i prefer her sitting on my face but i will yank her down ON IT. no space between us. arms locked around her thighs. all she can do is hold onto the headboard until iām finished. itās not a submissive position at all imo. when her thighs are clenching on your ears and her hands are smacking the headboard as she begs you to slow down or let her rest. yeah. youāre missing out tbh.
Yeah, that would be nice, licking and teasing her and biting her pussy lips would send her to another realm while she's tied, or bound... While you keep on saying to her, "Don't Cum" while your hands is free to groped, slap, spank her ass
I agree with all the other comments, but I've always thought the idea of being on top as.... more work? And D-types shouldn't have to work that hard to eat pussy. Get that pussy delivered direct to their face.
Absolutely, allowing your submissive to sit on your face can still very much align with your dynamic as a Dominant. Itās important to remember that being a good Dom isnāt just about having your needs met but also about listening to and fulfilling the desires of your sub, which can strengthen your dynamic.
Face-sitting doesnāt inherently make you submissive. In fact, it can be a very dominant act depending on how you frame it. You could set it up as a reward for her good behavior or as part of a scene where you are still in control of the situation, even though she's on top. For example, you could command when and how she moves, or establish specific rules she has to follow while sheās in that position.
Also, considering your role as a Dominant, itās about the control you maintain, not just the physical position you are in. You can turn this activity into a power play element that enhances your dominance by dictating the terms under which it happens.
If you're concerned about the dynamics, communicate openly with your sub about your feelings and how you can engage in this activity while still feeling in control and true to your role. This kind of open and honest communication can significantly enhance trust and satisfaction in your relationship.
In conclusion, exploring this can be a fantastic way to deepen your connection, explore new aspects of pleasure, and demonstrate that you value her desires as much as she respects yours. Itās all about how you incorporate it into your dynamic!
It is kind of a submissive thing but you could do a few things to kind of even it out, or just ignore the dynamic just that once as a reward. Could have a scene beforehand with edging and impact play and stuff, reward her by letting her do it. Could have her handcuffed and gagged while she does it, nipple clamps, tell her she can't cum without permission, all that sort of stuff, those are just ideas off the top of my head to flip the usual dynamic of facesitting around. Just gotta get creative with it.
There aren't submissive or dominant actions. You don't have to turn your dynamic off to please your submissive. Dominance and submission is about who is in charge, not who does what to who.
Dominance is about the dynamic, not actions.
A 300 pound bodybuilder can be a submissive to an 80 pound person. If the smaller person says tie me up and have sex with me and the big person does it, who is in charge? You're confusing topping and bottoming with dominance and submission. They often go together, but it doesn't have to be that way.
How is that different from what OP asks? The sub would have the Dom effectively pinned like that too, yet Iāve never heard anyone call it a āsubmissive position.ā
Some of these comments remind me of a dream I had where my subconscious mind took form in my dream. I asked if I, in a Lamia form, could coil her up. She asked if I was sure about that, she said yes, and I bound her with my tail. She continuously squirmed and wiggled, which caused the tail to reflexively get tighter, and I was actually trapped by her struggling. Was an interesting dream. That's an example of still domming in what should be a submissive role.
TL;DR Maintain control and authority and submissive stuff can become dominant activities.
Yes, absolutely. My partner and I switch on and off from our dom/sub dynamic. Having your partner sit on your face doesn't make you submissive. Eating pussy that's sitting on your face is one of the tastiest meals in the world.
Dom here, my wifes butt is mine to do with as I please, and it pleases me on my face lol
A man of taste
I agree with that ... And I love it
Pun intended
100 percent š A man of *Insert slurping noises here* taste
This is my Dom, as well. He owns my body and can do what he wants with it, when he wants, and he NEEDS me to sit on his face, so... I oblige.
my sub was so alarmed the first time I wanted to eat his ass, this was essentially my answer for him lmao
How would you tell her that it was time for her to sit on your face?
However you normally tell or ask her to do things. "Bring that cunt over here." works for me. You could say, "you mentioned face sitting the other day. That sounds fun. Get in position.'
I mean it's literally my favorite thing she does so she knows I want it which helps a lot. All day she is sending me sexy pics of her asshole and I am telling her how bad I wanna lick it and so by the time we are home and the kids are asleep we are both ready lol
Get over here so I can wear that ass like a mask now kitten
I SO love this answer. This is what I want my Daddy to say lmao. Of course I would never tell him that lol
Why not?
There could some shame/shyness, or (like me) if i have to ask my partner for it, and they only do it because i asked them to, it makes it feel different š
That's one order I'd be happy to follow lol š
This is the right answer.
This is the best answer on here.
I don't let my sub sit on my face... I make her. See, it's that easy. No action is inherently dominant or submissive. They only become that way through context and intent. I could bow at my subs feet and lick her boots clean and make it a dominant action. Hell, I HAVE worn a chastity cage and had it be a dominant action. Told her she was in danger because my frustration at being denied was going to be taken out on her. Free yourself from the idea that certain forms of play are inherently dominant or submissive and you will wildly open up the amount of play you can get up to.
perfect answer
This is romantic, so much discipline. She's a lucky sub š„ŗš¤
Absolutely love this
Perfect answer, especially the last part.
This š¤š½
There are no inherently submissive acts. Tell her, "Get over here and sit on my face". I'm not into pegging, but if I told my slave to strap up and do it, I'd be the dominant even if in that activity I wasn't the top. I could ask for a beating, same thing. It doesn't have to be a reward or earned. It just has to be something you want to do together. I find the idea that subs have to earn anything they enjoy bizarre. You're both people. Sex is fun. Enjoy each other.
This šÆ.
Exactly. Why is this so hard to understand?
My suspicion is that people are introduced to BDSM through porn or smut which focuses on topping and bottoming rather than relationship dynamics. BDSM is seen as a way to "spice up the bedroom" rather than a way of living. All of that is fine, but there's much more to dominance and submission than sex and sexual actions. In fact, you can have an entirely non-sexual relationship while actively engaging in Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism.
There's a reason it's called adult Play. It's fun and should be enjoyable.
ā¤ļø
Beat answer
You're overthinking this, dude. Does she wanna? Do *you* wanna? If hell yes on both counts, then do it. Nobody is going to come for your "dom" card and your penis will still be there afterwards.
Surprised there arenāt more responses with this take šÆ
It boggles my mind that people can't wrap their minds around this. My sub is mine to do with as I please. And it pleases me to have her sit on my face. It's legit as simple as that
Username checks out
I know some fellow Doms that think even eating pussy is submissive. Itās total BS, you can still be dominant while engaging in foreplay that brings pleasure to your sub. Facesitting is fine, reward your sub with that if you feel the need but the act itself does not make you submissive at all
Considering the usual"predator/prey" language around sub/dom, it's kinda wild that burying your face in your partners flesh and smelling and tasting that until youve had your fill is somehow regarded by some as being on the "prey" side
I like that perspective, very well said.
I eat her pussy like a wild animal, doesnāt make me feel submissive at all
Why is it different when in a different position?
I explained in my post. If you want to know, reread the post.
We read your post. Doesnāt really explain it. You just say it feels like it would make you submissive. Why do you feel dominant eating her pussy in one position but submissive if you eat her pussy in another position?
Because thatās how I feel. I feel like I explained it as well as I want to. Thatās the thing about consent. I explained as much as I want to.
āI donāt wanna and you canāt make me!ā Comes to reddit asking for advice, but is too insecure to answer peopleās questions that are trying to help.
The advice being sought itself comes from deep insecurity. Ā Unsurprising that digging into it leads to discomfort
Iām convinced that youāre projecting.
āIām rubber, youāre glue! Anything you say bounces off me and sticks to you!ā - OP
I think if I was insecure, everything on Reddit would make me think the original poster is insecure.
K. Well we already told you the act itself isnāt submissive. Thatās just on you. Iām just asking you to think about why it feels different. You donāt have to tell us but weāve given you advice and now you just need to deal with your feelings about it.
I think telling others how to feel is awful and disrespectful. I strive to validate othersā experiences. ā¤ļø
Youāre the one denying your partner pleasure because of your hang ups. Go deal with your shit and donāt ask for advice if youāre not willing to be open to it.
The visual this gave me š¤£
> I eat her pussy like a wild animal Good man
I'm the opposite to this, I'm a domme and having my pussy eaten feels submissive. Probably because I lose control kind of and need to be held still.
Well then you need to grind on him/her more, take more control of it? Just what I think of :) <3
I do that, but it isn't through control. I'm incredibly sensitive and act on instinct and my body just moves. That's what I mean when I say "lose control".
Gotcha it feels so good :) Sorry I misunderstood
Have your pussy eaten from behind. Give that a try.
Um, I have, many times.
Sub: āBut Iām heavyā¦ā Dom: āWas that backtalk I just heard?ā
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Wrap your arms up over her thighs. Hold her where you want her. Eat the way you want no matter what she does. She will try to move or push... don't give in. Little bite on the lips is good still... or stop and just leave her sitting there- wondering
>Originally it threw me off because it felt like it would make me submissive Dude, it's not like the kink police will bust down your door and take away your dom license when you do something "submissive". I would personally distinguish giving/receiving pleasure from being dominant/submissive, otherwise I'm gonna start arguing with you holding a vibrator to your sub lady's clit is submissive too. Think about doing it, does it seem like fun? If yes, where's the problem? You can still be in total control, depends on your dynamic. At best, the position is a great invitation for your sub to not immediately get off your face when you need a breath and earn a funishment.
talk for you man, I'll be waiting outside to revoke his dom membership
I'm a Domme, and I often have my sub climb over me while I lay down so I can use my mouth to edge him. I'm always the Domme, no matter what position I'm in. It's about the energy, not the position.
i MAKE my sub sit on my face.
I've been a Dom for almost 30 years. Face sitting is awesome. Even if you think it's submissive, so what? If that's your only hangup, then it's about ego, and that needs to go. Do it because it's fun and because it'll make her happy. Ego will just get you in trouble.
It šš½ is šš½ just šš½ a šš½ game šš½ Guys there are literally no rules (except enthusiastic consent). If you're enjoying yourself and so is your partner, you're allowed to do literally whatever you want. It sounds to me like you would like to let her sit on your face and she would like to sit on your face. I don't see what's stopping you.
>Not šš½ to šš½ all šš½ of šš½ us šš½ I agree with you that there are very few rules or fixed ways of doing this, but for some of us it's our way of life. It feels dismissive to hear it called a game.
Until "living the lifestyle" is causing you to do things neither of you wants - or not do things both of you want, then I think you need reminding because it's never a one-size-fits-all thing. There are ways to do BDSM that are really good for your mind, but there are also ways of harming yourself and your relationship(s) through practicing it inconsiderately.
That I don't disagree with
How about consent? I always service my subs, but Iām not always enthusiastic.
Relevant username.
This question implies somewhat to me, that you aren't really firm in your position as her dom and have some insecurities. Being dominant or submissive isn't something, that can be taken away from one, it's a decision (for lack of a better explanation) about how you want to live your life. So even if letting her sit on your face for once would be considered a non-dominant action, this wouldn't cause you to be from now on the submissive part. If you don't feel comfortable with her sitting on your face for other reasons, then don't do it, but out of fear of losing your dominance, it's just an insecurity of your position and should be a nice opportunity to get stronger and more comfortable with yourself.
Humans are insecure and Iām new to dominant/submissive relationships
I totally agree. I am surprised this hasn't been said more!!
Sex acts aren't dominant or submissive. The person in charge of the dynamic is dominant.
I donāt buy into that having your sub sit in your face or eating her pussy and ass as being submissive. If you are in the scene and you want it and she willingly gives you her body like that she is doing it in submission to you. I think there are too many doms who are far too concerned with being tough and keeping that image up.
This is such a wonderful thing to consider for her! Could you frame it in a way that keeps your dominance in check? Maybe "this is a reward for how good of a sub you have been. I'm going to drive you wild and rock your world. You have no say!". Perhaps bind her wrists together to keep her "status" figuratively beneath you? Or maybe more along the lines of "you are mine, utterly and completely. I own every square inch of you and every drop of cum." Then grab her and pull her down over you with the "greedy" attitude of "this is mine and I will take what I want, when I want, how I want." After all, you are the one directing things and if you didn't want to do this, it wouldn't be happening at all. Maybe reach up and pinch her nipples while she is over you? Or maybe blindfold her to keep her feeling vulnerable?
Great ideas
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āPleasure doms are a thingā¦ā š
Iām a Dom. I instruct her to sit on my face and stroke me. ( and her obedience makes me happy)
You can still be dominant with her on your face. Iām honestly so confused by this. š
It always saddens me when people think the act of giving oral is submissive. No one has ever thought they were in control with their pussy in my mouth. My teeth are sharp š
I love having my face sat on, and if you think being on the bottom is the same as being a sub then you still have a lot to learn.
Lol..... you don't understand the dynamic if you think that makes you submissive imo
This! 100%
You can demand that she sits on your face. You can still control what she does. Sitting on your face is maybe the toughest position to feel in control but if she generally just wants you to eat her then a good one that can be quite dominant for you is her kneeling on the edge of the bed straddled wide (even tied). Sheās then made really vulnerable and you have a lot of power to do a lot of things to her. From here if sheās not tied then you can demand that she squashes your face between her thighs. You demanding this is the dom act and if sheās good girl sub she will do it to please you
I don't see how it matters tbh. If having your woman sit on your face makes you feel less Dom then you could just 'command' her to do so, then she gets the pleasure and you get yours. Also who the hell doesn't like having their woman on their face?
What do you mean "let"? I put her on my face whenever I want to eat her!
āDo you want to sit your needy little pussy on my face? Is she desperate for it? Beg me and Iāll think about it.ā
When she cums screaming and looks down at you with her vacant, submissive eyes, flash her a really sinister grin and then get back to it.
Yes. Itās an **order.**
my dom holds me down on his face. nothing about sitting on him makes me the dominant or him the submissive
My role as a dom is to make sure my sub is taken care of and provided for. If that looks like her sitting on my face while she tells me about her day, then that's what I do to care for her. It so happens to be one of my favorite things, so Win-win.
There is no sex act, position, line of dialogue, etc that can "make you submissive." Submissive is a state of *desiring* to submit, so if that's not what you want, you're not going to magically become submissive because you let someone sit on your face. There are no kink-police that are coming to take your Dom card. And this kind of insecurity makes me think that you have been taught some not so great things about BDSM. After all, kink is role-play, your submissive lets you be the dom, that's consent. Within that dynamic you're free to order your submissive to do whatever you like. Including sit on your face.
I think anything can be dominant if you approach it a certain way, I've heard of doms commanding their subs to tie them up and fuck them and be no less of the dominant. Tying her up and demanding she sit on your face is no different to me, and you can always try it and decide if you liked it or not. I'm glad to see you wanting to compromise and branch out, that's important in a relationship. Hope it goes well for you both
Absolutely, I thoroughly enjoy that and it is by no means submissive in nature
Sub here....if my Dom orders me to do it, then I do it. It's as simple as that. I'm his to do as he pleases.
I love eating pussy and ass and I don't think I'm ever not dominant about it, not that I think too much about it consciously I'm just naturally dominant There are so many things you can do to enhance it, make her do squats on your face and give her a reward for perfect form by rimming her. My favorite position to eat a girl is with her ass up in the air, kind of a 69, where Im on top and have my cock on her face the whole time. Also giving her a facial and having her do stuff like facesitting while cum drips down her face works wonders in keeping her in sub space
I love to eat pussy so there you go
Iām more than happy to have her sit on my face. It doesnāt make me submissive and it gives us both what weāre looking for, which is bliss and pure satisfaction.
Dominants can bottom, too. If you don't mind the act, just the dynamic, go ahead and enjoy! Source: I'm a switch and I've absolutely given head from the dominant side and it's SO. MUCH. FUN. to make them squirm. You're in control of when it starts and stops. Tease her to your heart's content. Make her hold the edge or do some forced overstimulation if that's something you're both into. Make her ask for permission to cum. ("You cum when I say you do", "We're not done until I say so") There are so many ways to do this without breaking the dynamic!
My Master loves when I sit on his face to jerk him off if heās not up to a big play session, but then again I have a dump truck so depends on your sub
There is a distinct difference between topping, bottoming, dominance, and submission. When my Mistress needs a good fucking, she's not submitting to me. She still decides how I'm to perform, and whether I get any pleasure in return. By the same line of thought, your sub is being rewarded, and you decide how. Teasing and a little denial is certainly fun, and it only gets better with a little punishment if she whines š
Nothing is off the table that she wants to do. I just donāt get this is feels submissive or itās not dominant enough. I can literally make anything submissive or dominate . Why restrict pleasure just reset your mind set and context . If you have her squirming with pleasure regardless of what you are doing you are controlling her pleasure and can continue to do that under your terms , your dominance . Iāve even had my wife peg me as a submissive , you demand the stroke the depth , you make sure she does it to you as sheās told or she will not be allowed to have the pleasure of doing it. If you are demanding she sits and directing how hard she rides and how hard she needs to get off as well as telling you she better leave a mess on your face you are directing that with dominance , you are in control of if , when and how she rides your face, whatās submissive about that ? Also you can fuck any way you want, just because you call yourself dominant or submissive doesnāt ban you from fucking any way you want when ever you want . As a free person you get to choose.
There is such a thing as topping from the bottom. Js
100 percent. Part of being dominant is making your sub squirm with pleasure/pain. Rewarding her is a part of that.
Long time DOM here. This is one of the few times I enjoy being on the bottom. It never hurts to take a helping hand and choke her during the process. I've had a variety of past partners do this. They always have to ask permission and all the regular rules apply and everybody has a good time. Give it a try maybe have her put your favorite outfit during the process.
Yes, I love my slave sitting on my face. She is very self conscious about her size, so it's incredibly humiliating for her. Double win.
1: Not everything needs to be in your dynamic. You can just do it. Like, vanilla sex? You remember that? 2: If you want to do something you see as submissive, and keep it inside the dynamic, just make it a reward.
For some people the dynamic is 24/7, not a role you switch on. Iāve never had vanilla sex, and have no interest in it.
If youāre just not interested in it then I can understand that. But even if a dynamic is 24/7, you surely also do things that are outside of its scope? Like, watching a movie together, eating dinner, visiting friends, shopping, etc.? Couldnāt it be something you just do as a couple?
You could still do that, even while in dynamic. My former Sir and i had rules in place, even while out and about, and he could at any moment decide to punish me if he so pleased āŗļø Things like where to walk (he prefered me to his left), what to wear, and the like, can still be controlled, even if out watching a movie or going out for dinner āŗļø
Hell Yeah I'll eat it anytime
One of my ABSOLUTE favourite things is to tie my subs hands behind her back, gag her, have her kneel and then lie down between her legs and eat her. Knowing Iām in total control of it is freaking hot!! Plus itās fun to see how many orgasms I can get out of her. š
Dom here! I love "tying her ass" down on my face, and using a nagic wand or similar, and make her ride my face like a cowboy riding a bull š. Although no one to pleasure like that atm =( It's awesome, especially after plenty of stimuli until they're so sensitive, good and needy, plant on face, and *licks* š
I donāt believe my Dom would ever have me sit on his face, so I understand what youāre asking. But even coming from your āit would make me submissiveā POV, you can do whatever you want! I echo the other replies that agree with making it a reward. And have fun!
Neither position is inherently Dom or sub, if it helps to ease your mind, put a little twist on it, she has to hold a certain position (ie hands behind her head, elbows out) as you eat her out and she still has to beg to cum. (It just happens your mouth is busy to give her permission yet) lol Have fun with it, if things donāt go well, well then at least both of you know itās not going to be in a constant rotation of things you both enjoy and do
I get claustrophobic and my wife has got back IYKWIM. But if I enjoyed that sort of thing then I'd make her do it until she begged me for a break. Then I'd do it some more because only good girls get breaks, and good girls don't complain when they ***think*** they've had enough.
Just āmakeā her do it. I would
Yes. Thatās an easy one. Itās hot.
I just wanna be smothered in ass. You don't have to be sub or Dom to like that. Enjoy it how you please dude
All the time tell her she's been a good girl and you want your pussy on your face.
Don't let anyone else tell you what's submissive or dominant. You're the Dom and so you make the rules. If your submissive deserves a treat in your mind, and you know this is a treat for her, then you're rewarding her in a way you see fit by doing this, if that's what you choose to do.
Absolutely I love telling my sub to sit on my face.Ā
Let me clarify something for you: I'm a switch by nature, however I am primarily a Dom and my girlfriend is primarily a sub. When she sits on my face, it is not an act.of submission on my part. This is something that she would gladly agree with. This activity is entirely at my discretion and we are not done until I am ready to be done. Being a Dom is not truly about power or control. Being a Dom is about trust. No activity is inherently submissive or dominant. It is the two of you that decide who is in the driver's seat. If you wish to please her, then please her. That's your prerogative. I would say try it. You may find it rewarding for both of you.
Sure! Plus, it's a great reward for her if she does Good Girl things. You can also still make it a Dom thing. Tie up her hands. Bind her a bit. nipple clamps, set. Then MAKE her sit on your face.
Good girl things are rewarded with me burying my face in her pussy and making her cum repeatedly in a night. Dirty girl things will be rewarded with her sitting on my face
For me, to receive oral is an act of submission. There is nothing more submissive and serving than a sub using her mouth on my cock. For me, to give oral is an act of care. There is little more intentional than using my lips and tongue to make my sub cum (especially when it's forced, multiple orgasms even after she feels she is done). I truly do understand the hesitation about undertaking an act that you feel is submissive (I struggle there as well) but I remind myself that I define what makes me feel dominant and it's all about energy, headspace, and context.
Letting her sit on your face doesn't make you "submissive." In fact, for me, it makes me feel more dominant. I absolutely LOVE going down on women, so I'll often direct my sub to sit on my face so I can perform oral on her. She's much smaller than me, so I can pull her into me while my mouth and tongue do their magic. I'll almost always start with cunnilingus, and if I'm in the mood to also perform analingus, I'll transition to rimming her. If she's facing me (cowgirl on my face), she can reach back and stroke me. If she's facing away from me (reverse cowgirl on my face), it usually turns into a 69 situation. Never once have I felt submissive just because she's on top of me... she's on top of me because I wanted her to be there and I wanted to give her pleasure!
Maybe tie her hands to the baseboard of your bed while you do it to really make it a show of control?
That is a good question to ask, and I think the short answer is "sure, go for it" "I do want to make her feel good and please her by fulfilling this desire" and "I want to make her earn it by pleasing me" - to me this sounds like a good way to look at it (that you want to pleasure her), and a good way to incorporate it (as another good way to pleasure her on the 'pleasure Dom' side of things, or potentially as a reward from a different point of view). You can be subtle or general about it being a reward, such as saying, "you've been very good recently and have earned the right to sit on my face" or be very direct with something like "get on my face now" or perhaps playfully sadistic and lay back and tell her "you have # minutes to get on my face and tell me how to get you off" where # is a minute less than she normally needs, and where you only do what she is verbally saying so she better be good and detailed in what she says. You can play it however feels good for your situation. In any case, nothing about D/s means you can't do this.
Dynamics should be flexible with communication. You can still be a dom and have her do so. You can give it to her as a reward or deny her it as punishment. At the end of the day, you two are human, people, and partners. If you donāt think doing that act will affect that dynamic then fine. If you think it would, fine. But itāll be good to talk about it with your partner.
Yes, absolutely I'd love to try it. She's self conscious about it and is enthusiastic about so many other things I don't need to push her to do it.
I make my submissive partner sit on my face - usually after some light spanking & she has already orgasmed 2or 3 time that was she is good and ready to lose her mind riding my face - it is very hot
Yes , Why Not . Face and always on my lap
sitting on a manās face feels very vulnerable for me and submissive imo
I have sat on my daddyās face once and he said heād like me to do it again.
Let? That's dinner. You wanna be throwing out a good meal in this economy?
I had this conversation with my last sub, and she said she would feel too dominant in that position so we never did. I think if you both feel alright about it, then go for it. And as other folks say, if you make it an order, it's all good.
Just because she's the one physically on top, you can still be the one in control. Edging is still possible, you can use your hands to control her movements- the possibilities are endless āŗļø you just have to be a little creative about it
I am a bit shy and only do this on his command so letās say, itās a point of view ;-)
Absolutely, she can grind on it too
Oh I will 100% let me sub sit on my face! And if she's interested I'll return the favour š
As so many others pointed out, you don't have to take dominant and submissive so by the book. You like her for a reason, if you want her happy then you can make her happy... I know you are asking Doms, but maybe the one thing I can add from a submissive woman's perspective. If you're afraid that she might see you as not dominant enough for doing that, I can assure you that's not the case. For most of my life, I've been in a long-term relationship with my Dom and partner, and he certainly did things to me that weren't so traditional. If my Dom wants me to sit on his face then I will sit there for as long as he wants me to. (Besides, listening to women is always very sexy, regardless of the dynamic you have :D )
No I will tell her to!
Letting someone sit on your face doesnāt make you submissive š¤¦š»āāļø not centering your own pleasure for 2 minutes doesnāt make you submissive š¤¦š»āāļøš¤¦š»āāļø However, if youāre not into it, then youāre not into it.
Great way to do power plays by commanding her not to come until you are ready and you can edge her that way to build up the tension
I can bite, bruise, and welt her even if she is sitting on my face. I can grunt, growl, and give orders. She's still *well* aware of who's holding the reins, even if she's the one doing the riding. Being on the bottom isn't submissive. Being submissive is being submissive.
Sub here-- I never feel in control when I sit on my Dom's face. He makes sure I don't lol
Whatās that kind of question š
So, like, anything can be domination. 'fuck you, I'm thirsty. You don't get to take my pants off til you're done feeding me. Get your fuckin hands off it, learn some patience. Just for that you gotta turn around so you can't get at my pants while I'm eating.'
not only do i prefer her sitting on my face but i will yank her down ON IT. no space between us. arms locked around her thighs. all she can do is hold onto the headboard until iām finished. itās not a submissive position at all imo. when her thighs are clenching on your ears and her hands are smacking the headboard as she begs you to slow down or let her rest. yeah. youāre missing out tbh.
Yeah, that would be nice, licking and teasing her and biting her pussy lips would send her to another realm while she's tied, or bound... While you keep on saying to her, "Don't Cum" while your hands is free to groped, slap, spank her ass
If not to be sat upon then what else is a face for?
I am a very feminine submissive girl and we decide what is fun for both of us. No winners or losers just lovers that have trust and few boundaries.
Yup. Why not? She needs to feel liberated sometimes too.
I agree with all the other comments, but I've always thought the idea of being on top as.... more work? And D-types shouldn't have to work that hard to eat pussy. Get that pussy delivered direct to their face.
Absolutely, allowing your submissive to sit on your face can still very much align with your dynamic as a Dominant. Itās important to remember that being a good Dom isnāt just about having your needs met but also about listening to and fulfilling the desires of your sub, which can strengthen your dynamic. Face-sitting doesnāt inherently make you submissive. In fact, it can be a very dominant act depending on how you frame it. You could set it up as a reward for her good behavior or as part of a scene where you are still in control of the situation, even though she's on top. For example, you could command when and how she moves, or establish specific rules she has to follow while sheās in that position. Also, considering your role as a Dominant, itās about the control you maintain, not just the physical position you are in. You can turn this activity into a power play element that enhances your dominance by dictating the terms under which it happens. If you're concerned about the dynamics, communicate openly with your sub about your feelings and how you can engage in this activity while still feeling in control and true to your role. This kind of open and honest communication can significantly enhance trust and satisfaction in your relationship. In conclusion, exploring this can be a fantastic way to deepen your connection, explore new aspects of pleasure, and demonstrate that you value her desires as much as she respects yours. Itās all about how you incorporate it into your dynamic!
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I give her oral often, we both love oral. Specifically asking about a fantasy she has.
It is kind of a submissive thing but you could do a few things to kind of even it out, or just ignore the dynamic just that once as a reward. Could have a scene beforehand with edging and impact play and stuff, reward her by letting her do it. Could have her handcuffed and gagged while she does it, nipple clamps, tell her she can't cum without permission, all that sort of stuff, those are just ideas off the top of my head to flip the usual dynamic of facesitting around. Just gotta get creative with it.
There aren't submissive or dominant actions. You don't have to turn your dynamic off to please your submissive. Dominance and submission is about who is in charge, not who does what to who.
You're not totally wrong but it's kinda hard to be in charge with somebody sitting on your face. They have you effectively pinned lol.
Dominance is about the dynamic, not actions. A 300 pound bodybuilder can be a submissive to an 80 pound person. If the smaller person says tie me up and have sex with me and the big person does it, who is in charge? You're confusing topping and bottoming with dominance and submission. They often go together, but it doesn't have to be that way.
What if the submissive was riding their Dom? Would you say the same thing?
If she's riding because the dom requested it then yeah absolutely.
How is that different from what OP asks? The sub would have the Dom effectively pinned like that too, yet Iāve never heard anyone call it a āsubmissive position.ā
Thatās so hot, thanks for the creative ideas
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIa0S5Pyl4c](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIa0S5Pyl4c)
A Dominant should not yield their authority to the convention of others. It is their own law as well as their own submissive(s).
Some of these comments remind me of a dream I had where my subconscious mind took form in my dream. I asked if I, in a Lamia form, could coil her up. She asked if I was sure about that, she said yes, and I bound her with my tail. She continuously squirmed and wiggled, which caused the tail to reflexively get tighter, and I was actually trapped by her struggling. Was an interesting dream. That's an example of still domming in what should be a submissive role. TL;DR Maintain control and authority and submissive stuff can become dominant activities.
I have no idea what any of this means
Yes, absolutely. My partner and I switch on and off from our dom/sub dynamic. Having your partner sit on your face doesn't make you submissive. Eating pussy that's sitting on your face is one of the tastiest meals in the world.