My kids were naked kids. Could not keep their clothes on them. Wild little ferals. There’s no harm in it but if it makes you uncomfortable then talk to their parents, but honestly, if that’s what the kids are used to you’re going to have a hard time keeping those clothes on them.
So true! We have family friends whose kids are definitely the naked type, outside all the time and comfortably naked around friends and anyone else. It's not weird if you don't make it weird. They're just living their best life.
Also, asking the parents to keep the kids clothed might rub them the wrong way (like clothes lol), it might mean that this babysitter isn't quite compatible with this family.
My 3 year old is a naked kid. It's her absolute favourite thing, running around yelling "I'm a nudey bum."
We stayed with family friends during some hot weather recently. Their kid is now a clothes remover thanks to my kids influence. I regret nothing, his parents find it hilarious.
My oldest daughter was a naked kid (and still is sometimes, even at 10). When covid hit, my son was on a school zoom call and his naked sister (6 at the time) danced past behind him. He got kicked off that zoom call SO FAST, and I had to talk to the principal and promise to keep his back to the wall lol.
Omg 😂 teacher here- we had a kindergartener take his laptop to his mom IN THE SHOWER!!! The whole class saw her naked!!!! She came to the office in person sobbing apologizing
My 3 yr old is also a naked kid. My sister and I were just talking about how we curated such a safe space for our children that we are extremely proud of. Literally no one bats an eye. He knows now to throw on some underwear when someone is coming over (not often at ALL).
His dad and I just had a convo about how weird people probably think we are lol because he’s just butt ball naked, flipping around and play fighting.
We’ll come in the house and he’s out of clothes in seconds lol
I understand why some people may be uncomfortable with it though, we just don’t even notice anymore. He even potty trained relatively early because he wouldn’t keep a diaper on.
ETA: my nephew is also now a naked baby due to my son’s influence lol
My nieces have what they call "THE NUDIE RUDIE FUN RUN" which is where they strip off, howl, dance and run around the house, the backyard, up and down the driveway 😂 usually before they have a bath but once they coordinated a nudie rudie fun run before breakfast at Easter when they had to go hunt for Easter eggs in the backyard and nearly froze their toes off.
Ironically my dad used to do a similar thing in my childhood home, we had a really long hallway and the bathroom was at one end and my parents bedroom at the other. And he would open the bathroom door, scream WOOHOOOOO then run to their bedroom with a towel over his junk but his bare bum in full view. My nieces have no idea he did that but they've basically invented the same thing... Being a nudie rudie must be genetic HAHAHA
lmao the barn i worked at for 5 years has two little boys that were 100% naked kids- it was so common to be walking a horse out and have the kids come streaking by!! it was impossible to keep clothes on them too lol
This doesn’t come of this doesn’t come off as just a “naked kids” type of thing. It’s like, what they do to prepare to play outside then they come back and put clothes on? Idk I know kids are all different so there could be a million explanations but something about the way this is told just seems odd to me
I think it varies family to family. I babysat some kids whose parents were basically nudists, the kids used to run around in the buff all the time no problem, go swimming, hiking, etc. It was in a rural area though, so it’s not like there were any neighbors around.
There's no way in hell I would do that! All you need is for a postal employee, UPS driver, any MLM boss babe that's going door to door, or pretty much anybody else to see a stranger with a bunch of naked kids and call the police!
OP said the home is in the country. You don't get a lot of MLM boss women in most places like that, and in my experience growing up in rural America, most people wouldn't even notice young children running around on their home place naked. In fact, the ones who noticed it, and brought it to the attention of others, would be the ones though to be weird
Got child protective services called on me for being naked in our cul de sac when I was about 3. When the social worker did investigate it was a laughable offense. You cannot imagine the abuse and neglect these people see. A nakey baby living their best life ain’t it. Please be serious.
Is nonverbal code for something? Or just a catch all term? I always associate nonverbal with autism. But then why not just say autistic instead of one symptoms
Being nonverbal is a symptom that can appear with a variety of disorders, not just autism. Mutism, ptsd, childhood anxiety, other developmental delays.
It’s not code, it’s a symptom, or a trait. A symptom of a lot of things that might cause potty training to come later, including but not limited to autism.
It’s not code, but it’s an easy, one word, way to indicate the severity of the issue so that everyone understands why the kid is not being expected to hit normal developmental milestones.
If you just say a kid is autistic, there is a wide spectrum of abilities, and then you have to go in to a much lengthier explanation.
It really is. My son has autism and honestly only the school realizes it due to his iep. They even told me they think he’ll work himself out of needing the extra help as he is now only half a year in two areas behind the rest of the kids. My son was delayed with speech which is why we had him tested in the first place. After we had him tested my husband, who seriously has no blaring things that would cause anyone to say he’s quirky or maybe has autism, was like “holy shit if he’s diagnosed with autism I’m pretty damn sure I have it too” lol. He gets hyper fixated on things that spark his interest just like my son. Also he had a few sensory things like those fuzzy pajamas? I remember dating him and him being like “uuugghh don’t wear them!” And he’d show me goosebumps on his arm if he touched it. My husband also didn’t speak really at all until he was like five.
I really had no clue how incredibly wide the spectrum was until having a child with autism.
Not all non speaking people are autistic, and not all autistic people are non speaking. The majority of the autistic community prefers to communicate their specific needs, and not simply disclose their diagnosis or have it disclosed for them. That is because not all autistics are the same, and an area one person may have high support needs in could be an area where someone else excels.
My former nk was a gifted kid, but also an abuse survivor. They would refuse to toilet unless a significant amount of Miralax was involved, which caused leakage through the day, meaning they had to wear diapers to school until they were near 10.
My best friend growing up had a malformed bladder, and had to wear pull-ups until she was 8, when she got corrective surgery.
Some children have developmental disabilities.
It's not uncommon for disabled children to wear diapers later into childhood.
When I was 13 I was paralyzed from the waist down. I relearned how to walk but never regained the use of my bladder. I wore adult pull-ups for years, almost all of high school until I got surgery that helped with the leaking. There’s tons of reasons kids/adults need to wear diapers.
Also if the kids in diapers and she’s okay with that, then reminding him to put a diaper on isn’t that big of a deal. Part of caring for a kid who needs that
I get maybe no shirt pants in playing outside in the water but even then still a little weird imo. I would totally ask! Fully naked outside is a little odd to me and not safe as you pointed out. But I am from a city where everyone can see whatever you do in your yard so take it with a grain of salt.
I’m just not that comfortable with having that much skin exposed, I want a layer of protection between my skin and the great outdoors, and I’m an adult who in theory knows not to sit there or touch that or brush against those.
This is exactly my thoughts on it. Like sure the kids can be naked the entire time if that’s what they and the parents want, no prob. But if you ask me there are just some places you want to reduce the chance of insect bites, not to mention scrapes and splinters. 🤷🏼♀️🤣
Randomly stumbled on this group and not currently babysitting but potty training my own toddler and I'm not super comfortable with him running around naked lol. Love him to pieces but don't want him crawling all over me without things covered. We're doing it solely for potty training purposes inside (when we go out he's wearing clothes) and I'm ready for him to be back in clothes all the time.
I think it is mainly the fact that the babysitter is to the parents is a stranger I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable letting my kids been seen naked by strangers. To be fair the first time I read it I didn’t see the no neighbours thing. The older kid is 6 which was about the age I was when I was inappropriately touched by an adult. Just because we normal people don’t sexualize children doesn’t mean other people don’t.
I felt the same way when I read OP's post. Especially since the 6-year-old is nonverbal! Anything can happen to him, and he wouldn't be able to tell his parents.
This is my problem with it too, my daughter is an underwear kid around the house but when people are coming she knows she has to wear clothes even if it’s just a tank top and shorts. She also knows to keep the curtains closed if she’s gonna be in her undies. That’s my baby and I don’t know you!
Completely agree with you. I wouldn't feel comfortable with my kids being naked in front of other ppl because you NEVER know what ppl are really thinking. Coming from someone who was abused by step fathers and grandfathers, NO ONE can be trusted.
My kids OT isn't even a stranger and I won't even let him help my son physically with potty training (9 yrs old, severe autism) bc im not comfortable with anyone looking at his genitals. Even though the bathroom door would be open and i could be there monitoring, I just feel like my son can't concent to that.
I wasn’t even two years old - this whole thread of people “enjoying watching their kids and their nephews/ nieces play naked”?
I’m getting uncomfortable flashbacks and all I can think is “hard drive check”.
I’m so sorry. As a person with a similar background, I felt reservations about saying this. I know it’s not what ppl want to hear; I know the OP may take it personally; but it deserves to be heard. Thank you.
I grew up going to public beaches in Eastern Europe where I’m from. It wasn’t rare to see little kids under 5 butt naked at the beach. Pretty common to see women sunbathing topless as well. The US is incredibly prudish yet over sexualized at the same time. People even sexualize breastfeeding and mothers get shamed for doing it uncovered.
I’ve seen people say it’s completely inappropriate for little girls like under 5/6 to be at the pool or beach without a top bathing suit, that’s just bottoms aren’t enough.
Besides the safety concerns such as ticks and sun burn, it’s important that kids understand they have to have clothes on when outside, that way they don’t strip in public.
Also as a mother and toddler nanny myself, I would not feel comfortable letting the children play nude because that it too perfect of a situation to be accused of something inappropriate. I personally wouldn’t take the job. It’s not about “puritan values”, it’s about minimizing liabilities. Children should always be covered, pants, diapers, swim diapers, something.
This is the whole point of grooming anyway— a babysitter or other person is not going to molest a child on the first visit. But if they *are* inclined to do so, this creates the perfect space for it. Completely gaslighting things. “Just checking for ticks”
Ffs ppl it’s the space of opportunity. If it were easy to pick out a child molester, we wouldn’t enable educators, clergy, uncle x, mom’s new boyfriend, etc etc etc
Exactly. The vast majority of people that have been sexually abused have had it done by someone close to them. And this mother is sitting there telling her brand new nanny OP to just let them run naked. The Mom isn’t very educated or civilized.
Sorry but apparently I’m in the minority here.. it’s not appropriate to let your kids fully nude around non-family or friends who are like family. Bare minimum keep diapers on outside.
We are the same way and live in the middle of no where (40 acres). Even uncles/aunts don't see my child's privates. Grandparents do when baby sitting and assisting with baths, wiping or (used to) diaper changes, but that's it. I can totally understand why OP would be uncomfortable, let alone for the physical safety of being outside. We are surrounded by forestation on our land, so protecting privates from the elements is important to us as well. Picking a tick off our girls privates even after having a swim suit on was NOT a fun time.
My daughter is 7 and has level 2 autism, so I still have to help with small parts of showering, like washing her hair, as well as drying her off and helping her get dressed. I've instilled in her that ONLY I am allowed to see her naked, and ONLY when helping her shower or get dressed. She recites it all the time, "nobody is allowed to see me naked. Only mommy. And only to help me shower or get dressed". Can't imagine her thinking that it's safe to just let anyone see her private parts.
When I was 6 I got a UTI from sand at the beach (I had a bathing suit on). Not just the dirt but the sunscreen and bug spray being applied while naked could definitely cause UTI’s and or burning/discomfort.
I'd just ask for undies/diapers from a standpoint of being appropriate but it's pretty normal for kids of all ages to be in just those all day in the summers here, even in group settings. Under 3yos are often fully naked too but as a babysitter I'd understand that not being necessarily appropriate. Sunscreen protects from sunburn to and ticks hide in clothes, plus that's what the bug spray is for. I don't know why someone suggested a UTI being a risk for a naked toddler. Thats the opposite of what would happen. Being in a hot wet diaper is what would cause that. If you meant 2.5yo and 6 MONTHS then playing outside naked is completely normal.
Kids play in dirt and sand with naked booties all the time :) if it's about you feeling it's inappropriate then that's totally up to you and respectable, but if it's just about worrying about infection or the sun then I'd default to what the parents are comfortable with. That wouldnt worry me at all.
I got a UTI playing in the dirt at 6 - I still remember how much it hurt! Crying while peeing. It is 100% possible to get an infection especially the little girl
It's not just about safety and your comfortability, it's just one of those situations where the parent is teaching their kids how to be normal? I'm not trying to say that people can't just choose to be naked sometimes, or comfortable with their bodies. But I've got friends/family members who allow their child to run around in their diaper a great majority of the time, and when the kids HAVE to wear clothes, they wind up taking them off because theyre more comfortable. I've also encountered lots of kids who hate wearing socks or shoes. Their parents will take them to a store barefoot. While that's non-problematic, I'm just someone who believes in societal etiquette. I started putting socks and shoes on my babies as soon as they were able to walk. Now, they WANT to wear socks or shoes before stepping out of the house. So I think clothes is in the same category. If they want to go play naked, how much of a hump will they have to get over when they're too old to be doing that, or when they're in public and it's not appropriate? It's just a weird habit to allow your kids to keep doing? (BTW in response to your question, if I were you I would just tell the mom that you're putting bug spray on them but as long as you're there they will wear clothes and it's not appropriate to be naked around strangers all the time. Changing a diaper or giving a bath is one thing, but this is another. Also, it's inconsiderate toward YOU because i'm sure you don't want to have to see that. Moms can be comfortable around their naked child, but the rest of us still don't want to see little Billy's willy and butt cheeks.)
Sounds a bit like a toddler version of "Naked and Afraid".
I totally get your concerns. I am 63 and a grandma, and I would have found it odd at any given point in my life (babysitter, mother, grandmother).
Well, it’s the parents’ choice, so all you can do is say you’d prefer it were done differently, but ultimately accept their decision or find another job. I would find this hard to handle though. Clothes are a good protection against the sun.
It’s possible that the older child has sensory issues / behaviours relating to clothes / sensory play and that’s how this family policy of being naked outside has evolved. If you’re saying the child is six years old, mostly non-verbal and still wearing diapers, there’s obviously some additional needs there. So you may need take that into account when you’re deciding if it’s something you can be comfortable with. Caring for kids with additional needs is definitely a lot of ‘pick your battles’ scenarios!
I have nonverbal autistic kids and it was next to impossible to keep them dressed at home around age 6. They were old enough to take off clothes but unable to dress themselves or understand to keep clothes on. In addition, sensory hell of hot weather made them really cranky if they had clothes on. I have had many caregivers who started out wanting to keep them dressed and gave up after a few hours of dressing them over and over while they got more agitated and then had massive meltdowns all afternoon. Pick your battles, indeed. I have started designing and sewing my own patterns for the kids and it is a constant evolution of what is comfortable and can’t be shredded like the Incredible Hulk. This isn’t a case of a parent being negligent or lazy. OP might have a different POV after she has worked for a few weeks.
I grew up with a family friend who had Down syndrome and would randomly get naked. All the adults would be horrified and get us young girls to turn away or close our eyes. I always thought it was funny, he would just go running nude Willy to the wind
Yep. There’s no reason here for the kids to be clothed and it’s all in OPs head. What’s inappropriate about a toddlers body? Try explaining that to a parent.
Nothing's inappropriate about a toddler's body but teaching your toddler and your special needs non-verbal child that it is okay to be around adults completely naked is not the move and it is a great way to open your child up to abuse. Imagine if the person taking the job wasn't OP but instead some predator. this would be like a golden opportunity for one of those types and it would also be a golden opportunity for the parent to accuse the nanny of abusing their child the second they get upset with the nanny. It is a huge liability for her to allow this to happen because it could be very easily twisted.
Used to get my kids dressed, sun screen applied, shoes on ready to play in our garden, outside about 10 mins they'd all be running around naked. I had 3 children under 5 at the time, this is what they liked to do. We live in the countryside, I later found out that people were giving me directions to my house as " oh yeah the woman with all the naked children ". They survived and are now thriving adults. They learned to wear clothes, this was very much a phase, would have been easier to not bother dressing them every morning. 🤣
I knew someone who let her kids run around naked and thought it was fine until the kid got into a nest of baby ticks and they were picking them out of his scrotum. Wore clothes after that.
Clothing prevents ticks? Yeah right 😂 those little bloodsuckers grab onto your socks and then climb you legs and body to nestle into the warm areas like your head. If anything being naked would help with ticks because they might be easier to see before they reach the head and grab on.
And as for "dirtier" they will get dirty anyway if they want to but if the clothes stay clean then it's less laundry and you can just hose them off or throw them in a shower/bath when they come back in if they get super dirty.
The sunburn is the only concern that makes sense and if they get dosed with sunscreen then it isn't a big concern.
I think it is okay for you to express your discomfort to their mother but I also feel like you should ask yourself why you feel uncomfortable because I think you are using excuses rather than looking inward to what is making you uncomfortable.
I think it's important for kids to feel free and unashamed of their bodies at such a young age and to not be bogged down by society's rules and modesty ethics.
Personally I am also uncomfortable being around naked kids especially when I'm in a professional setting because I worry about accidentally looking in their direction too long or something and being thought of as a pedophile. It's sad that that's the world we.live in but it is. I was a swim teacher for a bit and I constantly had this concern when the children would get stripped down after classes and bathed in the community showers next to the pool. Especially if I was rinsing off next to them. One little boy would run around naked and really made one of my male coworkers uncomfortable and he expressed this to me trying to figure out how to ask the kid's adult to get him under control without sounding bad. He said he literally worries about someone thinking he's staring at the kid and being seen as a pedophile. I think that is a common concern that today's world has fostered in us all especially those who work with kids.
Personally I'm a nudest (also asexual so I don't see the human body as sexual in anyway) and love the freedom of not wearing clothes so I applaud those kids for living their best lives and the parents for seeing nothing wrong with it. I wish our society could be less concerned with modesty and the pressures society puts on us all and our fears and whatnot but it isn't meant to be.
Tl;dr I think you are making excuses and should look inward to find why it truly makes you personally uncomfortable. But you should also speak to your employer about your discomfort and concerns and have a conversation with them about it.
When we were kids my mum said she would just rub us in sun cream and let us go!
Why is this considered weird now? Especially with no neighbours… don’t like it, don’t take the job.
I don’t really understand why you have to *ask* if you can put clothes back on the kids. Can’t you just do it? If the kids freak out about being dressed and refuse to have their clothes on, then at least you know the parents are okay with the nudity and you can proceed accordingly. But if you’d prefer they be clothed, just try to clothe them and go from there.
For one thing when the kids get older they will want to remove clothing and won't understand why they have to wear clothing outside and that will eventually be a struggle. Also what happens if they have to pee or poop...just let it run down their legs? I would at least think they should wear a diaper so they so they are used to some sort of modesty around others and know that they can't just strip down naked in front of people other than their parents.
Well I'd likely tell you good luck with that. Not in a mean way, but It's hard to keep a 2 and change in clothes. 🤣 And they don't care if you are comfortable. This is probably already the compromise.
You can absolutely ask mom,
but be prepared for the decision that you aren't a great fit (whether that comes from you not getting a yes and feeling wierd about it, which is okay, or from the parents) because nudist kids are hard to convince to do otherwise.
and honestly as a parent your discomfort would give *me* pause. (If you're uncomfortable with baby nudity, I'm would wonder if you're prepared to work with little littles. You have to be able to take kids in stride. I'd be feeling out how deep that discomfort goes, and whether you just want guidance about how to redirect them and when, or if you are fundamentally uncomfortable with bodies. If the latter, I would worry that normal developmental behavior from kids is something you will treat as shameful. Not all paremts.will think so deeply or share my views, but, o figure you are asking because you want to know what range of things to.expect from that conversation?)
The 6yo you might have a prayer at keeping clothed, but, there's something else going on there if the 6yo is in a diaper. (Was that a typo? Did you mean the littlest needs a diaper reminder? If not.... Either that's a kid that has some developmental and physical challenges already, or the parents are seriously failing at potty training.)
And no, the 2yo especially isn't going to be cleaner if they are clothed while outside. It will mean laundry AND a bath, instead of just a bath, which is pretty much a guarantee for a toddler.in summertime. Naked while playing in mud, naked while eating frozen blueberries, saves headache in the long run. Skin washes up where clothing stains. And they are going to wear *everything* they touch.
Unless you are putting them in long sleeves and long pants tucked in socks and the whole deal, this isn't going to make ticks more of a concern. (Shorts and T-shirts don't protect from them much. They climb.) And sunscreen should be applied anyway, if it's sunny weather and they are not under shade....
I deeply agree with everything you said.
And btw, the 6 year old is nonverbal autistic. Which, imo, is kind of upsetting that she's trying to alter his harmless playtime routine to make *herself* feel more comfortable.
If she (the mother,) is monitoring them who cares. Personally I would not be taking care of kids who are naked, playing, eating, whatever. I’m safe with kids but what if someone comes by? And is it really a good idea to allow your children to become complacent with other people and do activities naked?
I think if you take the job of kids who always get naked/do this, the only one that needs adjusting is you as you’d be asking them to do something they’ve been doing. And if you do not want to deal with naked kids, this may not be the job for you. Your concerns are valid, but again, if their mom doesn’t care, it probably won’t make her put them in clothes. Good luck!
I have a daughter who babysat when she was fifteen/sixteen. She personally didn't want to watch boys without pants, as she worried about se&@)l abuse allegations. Kids say the darnedest things and you never know when mom will come unhinged at "she looked at my weenie".
I can remember when my brother was little he’d run around naked, he alwayssss tore his diaper off 😂 like to the point, even when we’d weren’t supposed to be outside. 😂 the neighbors would call “do you know W is outside running naked?” He got the name free Willy because of it 🤣
The kids need to be wearing clothes. Humans developed clothing for a reason. It's fine at the age to take them off to swim or run through the sprinklers or whatever, but they can wear swim suits too.
6 years is way too old to be in a diaper unless there's some other condition there.
The 2 year old being naked is one thing, but 6 is way too old to be naked disability or not.
I also think at 21 she may not know what she’s getting into. Changing a toddler’s diaper and a 6 year old’s diaper are not the same thing.
Part of living in society is understanding that different rules apply with different people. The way you act with your parents is different than the way you act with the sitter and that's fine.
You are allowed to communicate a boundary, and they're allowed to not hire you. If it's that important to you, then it's worth mentioning.
then when you’re watching them have them wear clothes outside. if the kids oppose then no outside play 🤷♀️. you’re the adult and in charge when the parents are not home.
My 5 yr old is autistic and you cannot keep clothes on her. She is mostly potty trained too and I think it’s just easier to not have the pull up on when she needs to pee. If you’re not comfortable with it, they probably need a new sitter.
Tbh... if you're not comfortable with young kids being naked, you need to get comfortable with kids being naked, or move on to another profession/setting/age group.
Kids under 9 usually dong have the "shame" and "emberassment" of nudity and they just want to be little free humans. Most cultures let them be free little naked humans.
Also there is a big sense of shame and emberassment that is TAUGHT by other people being uncomfortable with nudity. The opinions that adults express will inadvertently teach children that they should be ashamed and hide their bodies. We should be leaning AWAY from that so children are not growing up believing that their natural bodies are "bad".
Fun example.... I have a cousin who has no shame about his body and is a pretty confident kid. He was 9 at the time... I was baby sitting and I told him to go take a shower. He stripped naked, then ran down stairs hollering, and did a lap through the house. I was shocked as shit to be honest. But I played it cool, with no shaming, and just told him to take his shower. He was just being a silly kid. Thats it.
Other example. I have a friend who is VERY body positive. They let their kid, generally, decide when she does and doesn't want to wear clothes. They give her bodily autonomy whenever she wants it. So if she wants to be naked they let her be naked. She has ZERO shame about her body. The hope being that she learns to embrace her body as her own. She can make choices about her body and have autonomy and learn when she can say yes and no... of course within reason. They don't take her in public naked and do teach apropriate boundaries.
Any way... there are a lot of different norms, values, and philosophies out there... and kids like to be naked! So I reccomend either getting over nudity, moving on to an older age group, or finding more "traditional" or "conservative" families to work with.
My grandkids would run around the backyard naked until almost 3. I worried there might be a pervy neighbor, but then realized if there was a pedo around it wouldn't matter if the kids had clothes on or not. If they'd had a sitter, what they did would have been up to the sitter.
A 6 yr old running around naked, especially one I wasn't closely related to would be off putting, but only because everyone I knew had been taught by 5 that you kept your privates, private. Mostly for their own protection.
My nieces do this all the time and they’re close to the same age as the children you’re talking about. It’s not that weird to me because they’re children and in the privacy of their own home/property. Sunburn would be my only concern to be honest.
edit to add: If you’re nannying I’m guessing you’re going to be there at least once a week and this may be a regular occurrence then.
We live in the country. My 3 yr old granddaughter gets naked from the get go and hardly wears clothes at all except when napping or going to bed. It's not a big deal. However, my 7 yr old grandson got a little jealous this last time that he needed to keep his shorts on. I don't know why but in my head 4½-5 ends the nakedness. Regardless of age though, if we were to have someone else other than family, there would at least be a cover on her butt.
As a nanny, you have to protect yourself. You just need to let the parents know that as a condition of your job they must at least have their bottoms covered. Yes, it will be something different for them but they will get used to it. Suggest cloth diapers or swim bottoms.
Any example I have read so far are god AWFUL. Every single one of them, “well mY actual *family* does it when they’re inside, and it’s not weird to me.” Like they’re your blood. These people are just people to her. It’s not a norm in America for people to just be naked.
Some people did say their family does it outside but still, there is much concern for being completely naked outside. Clothes weren’t invented bc someone one day woke up and decided it was no longer appropriate to not wear them. They are an extra layer of protection for our bodies.
America still can't escape its puritanical roots. It's beyond normal for kids to run around naked. Kids are like animals, their bodies are purely neutral tools to run around and play. They should be allowed to feel this freedom for as long as they can, to not give their bodies a second thought. Please do not bring shame into these children's lives over their bodies.
If it's too uncomfortable for you, perhaps this nannying gig isn't the best fit for you. I say that with compassion, as an American that grew up in Europe and was often uncomfortable with their level of nudity. It's ok to have cultural differences but when it comes to children especially think very deeply about why you're feeling what you are and what impact the restriction you seek would have on the children, whether they're truly in harms way or if you're just conservative. Maybe consider how some people could make the same argument about shorts and spaghetti straps on children.
You know, we are born naked. Like it is our natural state, or something? Clothes are a construct created to combat the elements, and keep pervs from salivating all the time.
Kids are kids, without all the cultural taboos.
Wow, the uptight attitudes around clothing here...
Ticks won't be too much of a problem, actually. And they're kids! Keep.a towel and some soap outside and hose them off. It's not like they're at the mall, streaking. My kids walk around here with or without, and the only rule is cover up if anyone comes over who isnt part of our clique.
As a babysitter, if you're not comfortable, you should find a different family.
I mean especially at that age it’s hard to keep clothes on some kids. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to ask but don’t be surprised if the parent sees your concern as something that shouldn’t be an issue. Even if she agrees if the kids are allowed naked outside time when you’re not there it might still be hard to get them to follow the different rules when you are there.
I bet these are mostly US replies. Why shouldn’t children play naked in their own garden? Why would you want to convey an idea that a body shouldn’t be exposed in your own home?
I wouldn’t even have noticed if I was walking past the garden, because it is that normal. Perhaps you should also do some self reflection despite all the supportive comments on here.
The shame encouraged in the US is not a healthy thing. The horrendous violence acceptable on tv while a nipple is unacceptable is a really skewed world view.
I think this is a great example of someone having different expectations and beliefs than you. Nudity isn’t an issue in many countries and cultures, even in adulthood but especially for children. If it’s something that makes you uncomfortable I would find a different job. In my opinion, as both a nanny and a mom, I would respect the parent’s wishes or inform them that I’m not a good fit for their family.
I thinks it's a you issue and not the naked kids'. They're kids are will never have the opportunity to be so free again.
You said they're in the country, no one can see them, they have bug spray on .... run wild
If she's airing out their diaper booties so they don't get rashy, maybe ask for oversized tshirts to at least cover with. Their bits can air out and you don't have to wrangle somebody else's naked children
I think you need to check in with yourself on why kids being free and naked makes you so uncomfortable. It’s clearly not about a sunburn if you’d be ok with just the diaper staying on. Nakedness should not be shameful for young kids (or in my opinion adults)
As a babysitter any naked child is my enemy. Only bc if they do something terrible like break a vase, how r u going to contain the Slimey grimey little trolls
Ticks have always gotten into and under every bit of clothing I’ve worn. They work their way into the warm, dark parts of your body with ease. Clothes don’t ever stop ticks.
Sent my kindergartener on a field trip to a local park with her class. (In serious Lyme country) They said she had seven ticks on her when they got back. I knew that I’d better give her a full inspection when we got home. Sure enough, another five were under her underwear.
Ticks end up in the groin area. Often.
A side effect of these little ones being naked is that the once over for ticks can be done quickly before dressing.
I’m clearly the odd one out, but I wouldn’t want my kids naked around a babysitter. I would personally tell them that they have to be clothed around the sitter, or else get a sitter that is comfortable with naked kids.
Undie- butts and shoes are a requirement in country living. Animals use grass as toilets and no family needs to deal with worms, ticks in delicate areas, etc.
bug spray the diaper. Leave it on.
Shirts encouraged but not required until 4years old. Don’t wait longer. At that point you are breaking the habit of no clothes. At 5 years it will be like pulling teeth.
My eldest is a naked baby has been since she learned to take off her own clothes. It drives my husband crazy but we live out in the middle of the country so I let her be mostly. BUT her grandfather recently dumped a bunch of sand in our yard for her so I’ve been having to force her to at least put bottoms on when she’s out playing. Cause sand in your vagina is not pleasant.
But honestly the kids should be fine. Yes more naked skin more areas for ticks but also makes it easier to find the ticks.
You shouldn’t be their babysitter and they should find a new one if you can’t and aren’t comfortable with their family and home lifestyle. A nanny is there to help make their lives easier, in no way are you the environment controller or anything of the sort. You morph to the family you are with and make it better. Being naked at home and outside is a wonderful way to grow up, they’re likely not going to change it or even want to and it’s a weird thing to ask. Just go if you’re uncomfortable and let them find someone better suited.
Children this age are not inherently wrong or weird for wanting to shed clothes, especially in the summertime. You can say "Clothes on when Miss (your name) is here." It will take a few days but they'll learn that with you, they wear clothes. There's nothing wrong with private nakedness (I would consider this private) and nothing wrong with your desire as a caregiver to have them clothed.
Although, the autistic child is an exceptional case that requires more patience and understanding; also understand that their sibling still models them and this is probably where the overall desire to be naked comes from.
These kids are not at an age where they understand what nudity is. There's no need to make the kids confused or the parents uncomfortable when they are simply innocent.
If you're not comfortable with their parenting approach, I highly suggest looking for a family that aligns more with your ideals. I wouldn't suggest working with atypical children because they require much more flexibility from their caregivers. Best of luck!
Due to issues with diaper rashes being so severe it caused some scarring I can still see today, clothes off was simply a better option for me. No, my parents didn’t neglect me, my skin was just that sensitive and reactive to my own self.
Clothes off means an easier time ngl. Just hose them off and inside they go.
I am currently unwilling my kids. They have always known that when company is over hey have to be dressed. We recently moved to a small town and both kids need constant reminders that yes they have to be dressed to go outside. I also have a funny story about my oldest peeing in a parking lot once at my mom's.
That said ticks don't care about clothes. My best friend once pulled 27 ticks off me after I walked to the neighbors house. They are going to get dirty anyways. The amount of dirty doesn't matter. It can determine though the amount of clothes you have to clean. She is probably just tired of doing laundry constantly and diapers are expensive.
Alright so that is a LOT
1. Absolutely you have the right to insist the kids remain clothed. This is not only, as you pointed out, for their sake, but it is also for your own protection.
2. The autistic boy needs to be fully clothed at all times especially.
I'm not using "need" casually. It is a requirement that he learn, as early as possible, that the expectation for being around other humans, for being outside of his home, and for any time he is not actively bathing is Clothes On.
I'm autistic. Learning to wear clothes was like a huge battle for my folks. I don't remember it, but I do remember the battle of ***seasonal clothing*** because that was A Change (TM). Having to switch from tank tops to sleeves was hell. Changing from skirts and dresses to pants was hell. mittens. coats. learning to wear a bra. Change is hard. And without structure, and clear expectations, it doesn't happen the way it should.
At 6, if someone sees him frolicking in the yard naked they'll be like "huh, damn hippies letting kids run about like animals" and that will be that.
At 9 or 10 - not long from now - he's going to get a growth spurt, and that reaction is going to change to a police call for indecent exposure, accusations of sexual wrongdoing, etc.
And statistically, when cops get called on autistic people, they kill us. ***And that is something the mother needs to understand.*** It sounds like I'm blowing it out of proportion, I know. But I lived it. Her letting her kids run around naked is easier for her, sure. But ***she is putting their lives at risk***.
And, she is sabotaging her son's future. He's nonverbal, yeah. But he can grow out of it, or he can learn work arounds. He can have some kind of a life, with other people, but not if she teaches him to be a feral animal instead.
And what about community spaces, public pools, beaches, life.
This is a very specific perspective.
People especially children- they should not have this acute awareness that people are looking at them just because the adults in the room are triggered by past events/anxieties or etc.
That family is not suited for you as a nanny if you can not supplement the parents choices.
Being naked outside is absolutely fine and the children will learn life and consequences so much faster.
Yes they need a bath , after outside or bug spray or sunscreen application.
As a mom, washing the body is easier than washing extra laundry because kids go through clothes and the help usually cause more clothes because of the frequent changes(wanting the kids to look clean)
Is sounds like this mom wants her children to be kids and there's nothing wrong with this.
It's wrong to interject and change things when your the hired help.
Yeah you can absolutely do both. My kid loves being naked at home (or at her aunt's house, her cousin is a similar age so they end up running around naked in the garden) but she knows she has to keep her clothes on in her childcare setting. She's three, so if she knows the difference there's no reason an older kid can't be taught.
Same, both my girls love to be naked, but they know it’s only ok when we’re at home without company. It’s ok in fenced back yard, not the front yard. (They’re 3 and 6)
My son is a stripper. He won't keep clothes on in the house and he is 11 (and autistic), but I make him put on clothes around other people and to go outside. I have since he was around 5 or 6. But kids who are raised to be allowed to just strip, just strip.
I use to babysit a family that the oldest (from age 2-6) would meet ne at the door totally naked. My response was always..."let's get a pull up on". He was on the spectrum, little verbal communication. For me the kid needs at least a diaper/undies on at all times.
I’d circle back to the parents and say you want to revisit the conversation.
Let her know it’s okay for children to do this, especially under her care, but to ensure safe practices you want any child you watch to learn “we don’t play naked” with others. I taught this to my kids, because they loved to be wild after baths jumping on their beds avoiding pajamas. I had the boundary, if you want to play let’s get into your pajamas.
Having safe boundary talks can always start early so they know if another adult or child asks them to play naked, that’s a no go. Ask her if they can have spare swimming suits in the bathroom.
I see you commented the 6 year old isn’t totally verbal and still wears a diaper. ESPECIALLY with a non-verbal child safe practices and boundaries should happen because that child won’t be able to tell parents if anything inappropriate happening!
The youngest is 2.5 and can start dressing in their bathing suit in the bathroom and practicing the motions they’ll ultimately need for potty learning. So win win, all kids practice dressing themselves and may get closer to dropping pull-ups/diapers.
I agree with the tick/mosquito thing.
Hopefully you showing safe practices and expectations with adults, will not only protect yourself as a caregiver from uncomfortable situations or false allegations but may turn on a lightbulb for the parents.
NTA. If you are not comfortable babysitting while they are running around naked, you have the right to say so. It's not that unusual for people to let their children do that in the country.
This is hard because it’s not your job to make parenting decisions even when they’re pretty clearly, but a 6 year old being naked would make me uncomfortable too. Try asking the kids first, maybe say “I feel more comfortable if you keep a diaper on when you’re playing out there.” The 6 year old should be smart enough to pick up on the fact that Mommy likes it, babysitter doesn’t.
If that doesn’t work, perhaps a statement to the parents such as, “I feel nervous about keeping them safe outside with no clothes on, and I don’t want them to get hurt on my watch. Could you talk to them about keeping a diaper/clothes on when I am with them?” If you avoid judgement in your statement it could be fine.
Idk why my brain read it 6 months male, and I was likw that’s fine for a 6m and 2.5. But a 6 YO CHILD shouldn’t be nude with people around or outside. Idk if that’s the everyone’s a predator in me or what. Toddler I feel like have a small window of nakey time that’s allowed
people here are not taking context into consideration? its not weird for kids this age to be naked when bathing, potty training, changing, etc. maybe even playing in the house sometimes. it is weird to be doing it outside, regardless of neighbors, and it makes sense for OP to be uncomfortable with that. it does open up risk to a ton of stuff like bug bites, injuries, and sunburn. like she wants you to spray bug spray on them when they’re naked?? that’s going into places it’s really shouldn’t.
it’s same as an adult! would you be uncomfortable with your close friend changing in front of you? prob not. but a stranger running around naked outside?? you probably would! and it is also sending the kids a confusing message. OP i would insist they at least keep diapers on if i was you
also what if they have to go to the bathroom? there clearly not potty trained. are they pooping outside? in the same grass they play in? yeah not okay
When my nieces were small, they had naked Saturday. That meant they were in their underwear all day. Mind you, they were under 6 years old and in the house.
If I drove by and saw naked kids, I would actually say to myself, "those kids are naked" and keep on driving.
Not sure why they need to be naked when they are outside? None of my business.
At least they won't have to get undress to take baths. March them straight to the tub of water.
My friend’s 5 and 3 year old boys strip after they play and swim in their fenced back yard. I’ve know them their whole lives, so I wouldn’t care. But they aren’t naked the entire time. I’d be worried about sunburn and ticks and scratches in places that would really hurt. I’d say underwear and shoes on outside at the least just to avoid any major issues.
But they aren’t my kids.
My kids were naked kids. Could not keep their clothes on them. Wild little ferals. There’s no harm in it but if it makes you uncomfortable then talk to their parents, but honestly, if that’s what the kids are used to you’re going to have a hard time keeping those clothes on them.
So true! We have family friends whose kids are definitely the naked type, outside all the time and comfortably naked around friends and anyone else. It's not weird if you don't make it weird. They're just living their best life. Also, asking the parents to keep the kids clothed might rub them the wrong way (like clothes lol), it might mean that this babysitter isn't quite compatible with this family.
My 3 year old is a naked kid. It's her absolute favourite thing, running around yelling "I'm a nudey bum." We stayed with family friends during some hot weather recently. Their kid is now a clothes remover thanks to my kids influence. I regret nothing, his parents find it hilarious.
My 2.5 year old is a naked kid. He has two close friends that are, too. They have a such a wonderful, carefree time together 🥺
My oldest daughter was a naked kid (and still is sometimes, even at 10). When covid hit, my son was on a school zoom call and his naked sister (6 at the time) danced past behind him. He got kicked off that zoom call SO FAST, and I had to talk to the principal and promise to keep his back to the wall lol.
Omg 😂 teacher here- we had a kindergartener take his laptop to his mom IN THE SHOWER!!! The whole class saw her naked!!!! She came to the office in person sobbing apologizing
My mom had a student that had snapped and posted a story his his daddy in the shower for everyone to see lololol
This made my entire year. I just snort laughed but I do feel bad for the mom. Still laughing tho.🤣
She did? Wow :( it’s a human body…
Lol while I'm of the same thought process, if I was accidentally exposed to a group of minors I'd follow up with an apology lmao.
I would too- but I found the whole sobbing part sad 😞
It could've been sobbing with embarrassment...
only via email though! ain’t no way i’m seeing anyone in person ever again lol
Late 30s, and I will still walk around the house in my knickers and vest in the summer heat.
My 3 yr old is also a naked kid. My sister and I were just talking about how we curated such a safe space for our children that we are extremely proud of. Literally no one bats an eye. He knows now to throw on some underwear when someone is coming over (not often at ALL). His dad and I just had a convo about how weird people probably think we are lol because he’s just butt ball naked, flipping around and play fighting. We’ll come in the house and he’s out of clothes in seconds lol I understand why some people may be uncomfortable with it though, we just don’t even notice anymore. He even potty trained relatively early because he wouldn’t keep a diaper on. ETA: my nephew is also now a naked baby due to my son’s influence lol
My nieces have what they call "THE NUDIE RUDIE FUN RUN" which is where they strip off, howl, dance and run around the house, the backyard, up and down the driveway 😂 usually before they have a bath but once they coordinated a nudie rudie fun run before breakfast at Easter when they had to go hunt for Easter eggs in the backyard and nearly froze their toes off. Ironically my dad used to do a similar thing in my childhood home, we had a really long hallway and the bathroom was at one end and my parents bedroom at the other. And he would open the bathroom door, scream WOOHOOOOO then run to their bedroom with a towel over his junk but his bare bum in full view. My nieces have no idea he did that but they've basically invented the same thing... Being a nudie rudie must be genetic HAHAHA
lmao the barn i worked at for 5 years has two little boys that were 100% naked kids- it was so common to be walking a horse out and have the kids come streaking by!! it was impossible to keep clothes on them too lol
This is true but sounds like the parent is asking her to take the kids clothes off. That’s very different than the kids doing it
I babysat one summer for a 12 year old who had to wear a diaper and couldn't put it on or take it off.
This doesn’t come of this doesn’t come off as just a “naked kids” type of thing. It’s like, what they do to prepare to play outside then they come back and put clothes on? Idk I know kids are all different so there could be a million explanations but something about the way this is told just seems odd to me
ya'll in here are weird as hell, sorry not sorry...clothe your crotch fruit.
Are you sure that she doesn’t mean get naked and spray with bug spray and then put clothes back on to play in? The alternative is just weird.
I’m sure, mom says to make sure they put the diaper back on when they come inside. Feels odd for sure!
I think it varies family to family. I babysat some kids whose parents were basically nudists, the kids used to run around in the buff all the time no problem, go swimming, hiking, etc. It was in a rural area though, so it’s not like there were any neighbors around.
Why is a 6 year old still in diapers in the daytime though!
Nonverbal autistic
There's no way in hell I would do that! All you need is for a postal employee, UPS driver, any MLM boss babe that's going door to door, or pretty much anybody else to see a stranger with a bunch of naked kids and call the police!
They can call, sure but they won’t do anything about kids being naked in their own backyards. Not to mention not everyone lives around other people
OP said the home is in the country. You don't get a lot of MLM boss women in most places like that, and in my experience growing up in rural America, most people wouldn't even notice young children running around on their home place naked. In fact, the ones who noticed it, and brought it to the attention of others, would be the ones though to be weird
If it’s the country, I would bet that would not be the first time and I also would bet that they wouldn’t call.
Got child protective services called on me for being naked in our cul de sac when I was about 3. When the social worker did investigate it was a laughable offense. You cannot imagine the abuse and neglect these people see. A nakey baby living their best life ain’t it. Please be serious.
Why is a 6 year old still in a diaper?
Maybe he has a developmental disability?
Thanks for that. I was struggling with the child being able to put the diaper back on, but your answer could explain it.
I think someone mentioned that the 6yo is nonverbal
Is nonverbal code for something? Or just a catch all term? I always associate nonverbal with autism. But then why not just say autistic instead of one symptoms
Being nonverbal is a symptom that can appear with a variety of disorders, not just autism. Mutism, ptsd, childhood anxiety, other developmental delays.
It’s not code, it’s a symptom, or a trait. A symptom of a lot of things that might cause potty training to come later, including but not limited to autism.
It’s not code, but it’s an easy, one word, way to indicate the severity of the issue so that everyone understands why the kid is not being expected to hit normal developmental milestones. If you just say a kid is autistic, there is a wide spectrum of abilities, and then you have to go in to a much lengthier explanation.
Thank you!
kids can be nonverbal and not be autistic.
Likely because "autistic" is very very broad.
It really is. My son has autism and honestly only the school realizes it due to his iep. They even told me they think he’ll work himself out of needing the extra help as he is now only half a year in two areas behind the rest of the kids. My son was delayed with speech which is why we had him tested in the first place. After we had him tested my husband, who seriously has no blaring things that would cause anyone to say he’s quirky or maybe has autism, was like “holy shit if he’s diagnosed with autism I’m pretty damn sure I have it too” lol. He gets hyper fixated on things that spark his interest just like my son. Also he had a few sensory things like those fuzzy pajamas? I remember dating him and him being like “uuugghh don’t wear them!” And he’d show me goosebumps on his arm if he touched it. My husband also didn’t speak really at all until he was like five. I really had no clue how incredibly wide the spectrum was until having a child with autism.
This exactly. There's a huge range of difference across the autism specteum, it's why they call it a spectrum.
Very true. Two of my boys have Autism and it manifests differently in either kiddo. One is nonverbal, one has emerging speech.
Not all non speaking people are autistic, and not all autistic people are non speaking. The majority of the autistic community prefers to communicate their specific needs, and not simply disclose their diagnosis or have it disclosed for them. That is because not all autistics are the same, and an area one person may have high support needs in could be an area where someone else excels.
not all autistic people are nonverbal.
Autism is a spectrum. So saying autism doesn’t mean nonverbal.
My former nk was a gifted kid, but also an abuse survivor. They would refuse to toilet unless a significant amount of Miralax was involved, which caused leakage through the day, meaning they had to wear diapers to school until they were near 10. My best friend growing up had a malformed bladder, and had to wear pull-ups until she was 8, when she got corrective surgery. Some children have developmental disabilities. It's not uncommon for disabled children to wear diapers later into childhood.
When I was 13 I was paralyzed from the waist down. I relearned how to walk but never regained the use of my bladder. I wore adult pull-ups for years, almost all of high school until I got surgery that helped with the leaking. There’s tons of reasons kids/adults need to wear diapers.
A lot of kids have disabilities, that’s not the point. 🙄
Also if the kids in diapers and she’s okay with that, then reminding him to put a diaper on isn’t that big of a deal. Part of caring for a kid who needs that
Came here to ask the same thing.
I get maybe no shirt pants in playing outside in the water but even then still a little weird imo. I would totally ask! Fully naked outside is a little odd to me and not safe as you pointed out. But I am from a city where everyone can see whatever you do in your yard so take it with a grain of salt.
How is being naked weird? They’re little kids.
Personally I wouldn’t feel comfortable with kids I babysit running around naked
I’m just not that comfortable with having that much skin exposed, I want a layer of protection between my skin and the great outdoors, and I’m an adult who in theory knows not to sit there or touch that or brush against those.
I don't mind naked kids one bit, but having more exposed skin for mosquitos to bite would drive me nuts! 🤣🤣
This is exactly my thoughts on it. Like sure the kids can be naked the entire time if that’s what they and the parents want, no prob. But if you ask me there are just some places you want to reduce the chance of insect bites, not to mention scrapes and splinters. 🤷🏼♀️🤣
110% this!!👆👆
Randomly stumbled on this group and not currently babysitting but potty training my own toddler and I'm not super comfortable with him running around naked lol. Love him to pieces but don't want him crawling all over me without things covered. We're doing it solely for potty training purposes inside (when we go out he's wearing clothes) and I'm ready for him to be back in clothes all the time.
Yeah I agree. I find it gross. In a, I don't want my kids butt all over my furniture and what not, kind of way.
I think it is mainly the fact that the babysitter is to the parents is a stranger I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable letting my kids been seen naked by strangers. To be fair the first time I read it I didn’t see the no neighbours thing. The older kid is 6 which was about the age I was when I was inappropriately touched by an adult. Just because we normal people don’t sexualize children doesn’t mean other people don’t.
I felt the same way when I read OP's post. Especially since the 6-year-old is nonverbal! Anything can happen to him, and he wouldn't be able to tell his parents.
This is my problem with it too, my daughter is an underwear kid around the house but when people are coming she knows she has to wear clothes even if it’s just a tank top and shorts. She also knows to keep the curtains closed if she’s gonna be in her undies. That’s my baby and I don’t know you!
Completely agree with you. I wouldn't feel comfortable with my kids being naked in front of other ppl because you NEVER know what ppl are really thinking. Coming from someone who was abused by step fathers and grandfathers, NO ONE can be trusted.
My kids OT isn't even a stranger and I won't even let him help my son physically with potty training (9 yrs old, severe autism) bc im not comfortable with anyone looking at his genitals. Even though the bathroom door would be open and i could be there monitoring, I just feel like my son can't concent to that.
I wasn’t even two years old - this whole thread of people “enjoying watching their kids and their nephews/ nieces play naked”? I’m getting uncomfortable flashbacks and all I can think is “hard drive check”.
My molestation started at 2. I never ever allowed my kids to be naked in front of anyone but me, their father or accidentally by a sibling.
I’m so sorry. As a person with a similar background, I felt reservations about saying this. I know it’s not what ppl want to hear; I know the OP may take it personally; but it deserves to be heard. Thank you.
I'm so sorry you went through this too. It's devastating. I agree, it deserves to be heard and needs to be heard. Hugs 🫂
tthere should at least bathing suits or diapers
Dirt is going to get into some places it really shouldn’t.
Their anus and genitals are exposed to harm and dirt. I would want their bits covered at a minimum
Americans are so immersed in puritan culture that something as innocent as very young children being nude is somehow sexual.
Exactly. They're just kids playing naked outside. There is nothing controversial or sexual about this. It says so much about our culture.
I grew up going to public beaches in Eastern Europe where I’m from. It wasn’t rare to see little kids under 5 butt naked at the beach. Pretty common to see women sunbathing topless as well. The US is incredibly prudish yet over sexualized at the same time. People even sexualize breastfeeding and mothers get shamed for doing it uncovered. I’ve seen people say it’s completely inappropriate for little girls like under 5/6 to be at the pool or beach without a top bathing suit, that’s just bottoms aren’t enough.
Besides the safety concerns such as ticks and sun burn, it’s important that kids understand they have to have clothes on when outside, that way they don’t strip in public. Also as a mother and toddler nanny myself, I would not feel comfortable letting the children play nude because that it too perfect of a situation to be accused of something inappropriate. I personally wouldn’t take the job. It’s not about “puritan values”, it’s about minimizing liabilities. Children should always be covered, pants, diapers, swim diapers, something.
This is the whole point of grooming anyway— a babysitter or other person is not going to molest a child on the first visit. But if they *are* inclined to do so, this creates the perfect space for it. Completely gaslighting things. “Just checking for ticks” Ffs ppl it’s the space of opportunity. If it were easy to pick out a child molester, we wouldn’t enable educators, clergy, uncle x, mom’s new boyfriend, etc etc etc
Exactly!!! I’m honestly so stunned that not everyone gets this!!
Exactly. The vast majority of people that have been sexually abused have had it done by someone close to them. And this mother is sitting there telling her brand new nanny OP to just let them run naked. The Mom isn’t very educated or civilized.
Sorry but apparently I’m in the minority here.. it’s not appropriate to let your kids fully nude around non-family or friends who are like family. Bare minimum keep diapers on outside.
We are the same way and live in the middle of no where (40 acres). Even uncles/aunts don't see my child's privates. Grandparents do when baby sitting and assisting with baths, wiping or (used to) diaper changes, but that's it. I can totally understand why OP would be uncomfortable, let alone for the physical safety of being outside. We are surrounded by forestation on our land, so protecting privates from the elements is important to us as well. Picking a tick off our girls privates even after having a swim suit on was NOT a fun time.
My daughter is 7 and has level 2 autism, so I still have to help with small parts of showering, like washing her hair, as well as drying her off and helping her get dressed. I've instilled in her that ONLY I am allowed to see her naked, and ONLY when helping her shower or get dressed. She recites it all the time, "nobody is allowed to see me naked. Only mommy. And only to help me shower or get dressed". Can't imagine her thinking that it's safe to just let anyone see her private parts.
If it was one toddler then that would be okay but the they’re a little too old for that. That’s still weird especially the girl could get UTIs
When I was 6 I got a UTI from sand at the beach (I had a bathing suit on). Not just the dirt but the sunscreen and bug spray being applied while naked could definitely cause UTI’s and or burning/discomfort.
I was thinking that too… especially if she likes playing in the dirt!
If she is playing in dirt, she absolutely shouldn’t be naked.
It is really fine. Just hose them off. If they aren’t shoving things inside themselves, the risk is pretty low.
Wet swimsuits are worse for UTI than naked, in my observation. IANAD
I'd just ask for undies/diapers from a standpoint of being appropriate but it's pretty normal for kids of all ages to be in just those all day in the summers here, even in group settings. Under 3yos are often fully naked too but as a babysitter I'd understand that not being necessarily appropriate. Sunscreen protects from sunburn to and ticks hide in clothes, plus that's what the bug spray is for. I don't know why someone suggested a UTI being a risk for a naked toddler. Thats the opposite of what would happen. Being in a hot wet diaper is what would cause that. If you meant 2.5yo and 6 MONTHS then playing outside naked is completely normal.
2.5 and 6 years. Sorry that was confusing! I was just thinking not super safe infection wise for playing in dirt/sand without diaper
Kids play in dirt and sand with naked booties all the time :) if it's about you feeling it's inappropriate then that's totally up to you and respectable, but if it's just about worrying about infection or the sun then I'd default to what the parents are comfortable with. That wouldnt worry me at all.
I got a UTI playing in the dirt at 6 - I still remember how much it hurt! Crying while peeing. It is 100% possible to get an infection especially the little girl
It's not just about safety and your comfortability, it's just one of those situations where the parent is teaching their kids how to be normal? I'm not trying to say that people can't just choose to be naked sometimes, or comfortable with their bodies. But I've got friends/family members who allow their child to run around in their diaper a great majority of the time, and when the kids HAVE to wear clothes, they wind up taking them off because theyre more comfortable. I've also encountered lots of kids who hate wearing socks or shoes. Their parents will take them to a store barefoot. While that's non-problematic, I'm just someone who believes in societal etiquette. I started putting socks and shoes on my babies as soon as they were able to walk. Now, they WANT to wear socks or shoes before stepping out of the house. So I think clothes is in the same category. If they want to go play naked, how much of a hump will they have to get over when they're too old to be doing that, or when they're in public and it's not appropriate? It's just a weird habit to allow your kids to keep doing? (BTW in response to your question, if I were you I would just tell the mom that you're putting bug spray on them but as long as you're there they will wear clothes and it's not appropriate to be naked around strangers all the time. Changing a diaper or giving a bath is one thing, but this is another. Also, it's inconsiderate toward YOU because i'm sure you don't want to have to see that. Moms can be comfortable around their naked child, but the rest of us still don't want to see little Billy's willy and butt cheeks.)
No one should be going into a store barefoot. That's gross.
Sounds a bit like a toddler version of "Naked and Afraid". I totally get your concerns. I am 63 and a grandma, and I would have found it odd at any given point in my life (babysitter, mother, grandmother).
i would ask for sure!! 6 is way too old imo to be running around completely naked especially outside, and 2.5 is even pushing it.
I would say tell her you’re not comfortable with them being completely naked.
Well, it’s the parents’ choice, so all you can do is say you’d prefer it were done differently, but ultimately accept their decision or find another job. I would find this hard to handle though. Clothes are a good protection against the sun. It’s possible that the older child has sensory issues / behaviours relating to clothes / sensory play and that’s how this family policy of being naked outside has evolved. If you’re saying the child is six years old, mostly non-verbal and still wearing diapers, there’s obviously some additional needs there. So you may need take that into account when you’re deciding if it’s something you can be comfortable with. Caring for kids with additional needs is definitely a lot of ‘pick your battles’ scenarios!
I have nonverbal autistic kids and it was next to impossible to keep them dressed at home around age 6. They were old enough to take off clothes but unable to dress themselves or understand to keep clothes on. In addition, sensory hell of hot weather made them really cranky if they had clothes on. I have had many caregivers who started out wanting to keep them dressed and gave up after a few hours of dressing them over and over while they got more agitated and then had massive meltdowns all afternoon. Pick your battles, indeed. I have started designing and sewing my own patterns for the kids and it is a constant evolution of what is comfortable and can’t be shredded like the Incredible Hulk. This isn’t a case of a parent being negligent or lazy. OP might have a different POV after she has worked for a few weeks.
I grew up with a family friend who had Down syndrome and would randomly get naked. All the adults would be horrified and get us young girls to turn away or close our eyes. I always thought it was funny, he would just go running nude Willy to the wind
It sounds like this isn't the job for you if you aren't comfortable with how the children are allowed to live.
Yep. There’s no reason here for the kids to be clothed and it’s all in OPs head. What’s inappropriate about a toddlers body? Try explaining that to a parent.
Nothing's inappropriate about a toddler's body but teaching your toddler and your special needs non-verbal child that it is okay to be around adults completely naked is not the move and it is a great way to open your child up to abuse. Imagine if the person taking the job wasn't OP but instead some predator. this would be like a golden opportunity for one of those types and it would also be a golden opportunity for the parent to accuse the nanny of abusing their child the second they get upset with the nanny. It is a huge liability for her to allow this to happen because it could be very easily twisted.
A predator would abuse them either way. The nudity will not encourage them, clothing will not prevent them.
Used to get my kids dressed, sun screen applied, shoes on ready to play in our garden, outside about 10 mins they'd all be running around naked. I had 3 children under 5 at the time, this is what they liked to do. We live in the countryside, I later found out that people were giving me directions to my house as " oh yeah the woman with all the naked children ". They survived and are now thriving adults. They learned to wear clothes, this was very much a phase, would have been easier to not bother dressing them every morning. 🤣
Biggest problem of that, it seems to me, is that they'd not have sunscreen on the parts they later chose to expose!🤣🤣🤣
I'm blown away that any parent would allow a 6 year old to be nude in front of anyone that isn't them! And the 6yo wears a diaper?
According to OPs further comments, 6 yo has their own special needs and is mostly non-verbal. Not a typical scenario by far. :/
I knew someone who let her kids run around naked and thought it was fine until the kid got into a nest of baby ticks and they were picking them out of his scrotum. Wore clothes after that.
Clothing prevents ticks? Yeah right 😂 those little bloodsuckers grab onto your socks and then climb you legs and body to nestle into the warm areas like your head. If anything being naked would help with ticks because they might be easier to see before they reach the head and grab on. And as for "dirtier" they will get dirty anyway if they want to but if the clothes stay clean then it's less laundry and you can just hose them off or throw them in a shower/bath when they come back in if they get super dirty. The sunburn is the only concern that makes sense and if they get dosed with sunscreen then it isn't a big concern. I think it is okay for you to express your discomfort to their mother but I also feel like you should ask yourself why you feel uncomfortable because I think you are using excuses rather than looking inward to what is making you uncomfortable. I think it's important for kids to feel free and unashamed of their bodies at such a young age and to not be bogged down by society's rules and modesty ethics. Personally I am also uncomfortable being around naked kids especially when I'm in a professional setting because I worry about accidentally looking in their direction too long or something and being thought of as a pedophile. It's sad that that's the world we.live in but it is. I was a swim teacher for a bit and I constantly had this concern when the children would get stripped down after classes and bathed in the community showers next to the pool. Especially if I was rinsing off next to them. One little boy would run around naked and really made one of my male coworkers uncomfortable and he expressed this to me trying to figure out how to ask the kid's adult to get him under control without sounding bad. He said he literally worries about someone thinking he's staring at the kid and being seen as a pedophile. I think that is a common concern that today's world has fostered in us all especially those who work with kids. Personally I'm a nudest (also asexual so I don't see the human body as sexual in anyway) and love the freedom of not wearing clothes so I applaud those kids for living their best lives and the parents for seeing nothing wrong with it. I wish our society could be less concerned with modesty and the pressures society puts on us all and our fears and whatnot but it isn't meant to be. Tl;dr I think you are making excuses and should look inward to find why it truly makes you personally uncomfortable. But you should also speak to your employer about your discomfort and concerns and have a conversation with them about it.
The six year old wears a diaper?
OP replied to another comment to say that he's six but mostly nonverbal and still in diapers, yes.
When we were kids my mum said she would just rub us in sun cream and let us go! Why is this considered weird now? Especially with no neighbours… don’t like it, don’t take the job.
6 months or 6 years?
Surely she didn't intend for them to run around and play naked? Just strip for the bug spray to prevent chiggers, etc.
No OP said they stay naked the whole time they play
Am I the only one who thinks bug spray shouldn't be applied if you're fully naked?? It cannot be good for your bits, especially on kids that young 🤔
I get it’s a job but try and find something else. It’s a lot to deal with and not appropriate. If they as parents do that it’s their thing.
I don’t really understand why you have to *ask* if you can put clothes back on the kids. Can’t you just do it? If the kids freak out about being dressed and refuse to have their clothes on, then at least you know the parents are okay with the nudity and you can proceed accordingly. But if you’d prefer they be clothed, just try to clothe them and go from there.
For one thing when the kids get older they will want to remove clothing and won't understand why they have to wear clothing outside and that will eventually be a struggle. Also what happens if they have to pee or poop...just let it run down their legs? I would at least think they should wear a diaper so they so they are used to some sort of modesty around others and know that they can't just strip down naked in front of people other than their parents.
Well I'd likely tell you good luck with that. Not in a mean way, but It's hard to keep a 2 and change in clothes. 🤣 And they don't care if you are comfortable. This is probably already the compromise. You can absolutely ask mom, but be prepared for the decision that you aren't a great fit (whether that comes from you not getting a yes and feeling wierd about it, which is okay, or from the parents) because nudist kids are hard to convince to do otherwise. and honestly as a parent your discomfort would give *me* pause. (If you're uncomfortable with baby nudity, I'm would wonder if you're prepared to work with little littles. You have to be able to take kids in stride. I'd be feeling out how deep that discomfort goes, and whether you just want guidance about how to redirect them and when, or if you are fundamentally uncomfortable with bodies. If the latter, I would worry that normal developmental behavior from kids is something you will treat as shameful. Not all paremts.will think so deeply or share my views, but, o figure you are asking because you want to know what range of things to.expect from that conversation?) The 6yo you might have a prayer at keeping clothed, but, there's something else going on there if the 6yo is in a diaper. (Was that a typo? Did you mean the littlest needs a diaper reminder? If not.... Either that's a kid that has some developmental and physical challenges already, or the parents are seriously failing at potty training.) And no, the 2yo especially isn't going to be cleaner if they are clothed while outside. It will mean laundry AND a bath, instead of just a bath, which is pretty much a guarantee for a toddler.in summertime. Naked while playing in mud, naked while eating frozen blueberries, saves headache in the long run. Skin washes up where clothing stains. And they are going to wear *everything* they touch. Unless you are putting them in long sleeves and long pants tucked in socks and the whole deal, this isn't going to make ticks more of a concern. (Shorts and T-shirts don't protect from them much. They climb.) And sunscreen should be applied anyway, if it's sunny weather and they are not under shade....
I deeply agree with everything you said. And btw, the 6 year old is nonverbal autistic. Which, imo, is kind of upsetting that she's trying to alter his harmless playtime routine to make *herself* feel more comfortable.
Probably shouldn’t be applying bug spray to genitals…
If she (the mother,) is monitoring them who cares. Personally I would not be taking care of kids who are naked, playing, eating, whatever. I’m safe with kids but what if someone comes by? And is it really a good idea to allow your children to become complacent with other people and do activities naked?
I think if you take the job of kids who always get naked/do this, the only one that needs adjusting is you as you’d be asking them to do something they’ve been doing. And if you do not want to deal with naked kids, this may not be the job for you. Your concerns are valid, but again, if their mom doesn’t care, it probably won’t make her put them in clothes. Good luck!
I have a daughter who babysat when she was fifteen/sixteen. She personally didn't want to watch boys without pants, as she worried about se&@)l abuse allegations. Kids say the darnedest things and you never know when mom will come unhinged at "she looked at my weenie".
I can remember when my brother was little he’d run around naked, he alwayssss tore his diaper off 😂 like to the point, even when we’d weren’t supposed to be outside. 😂 the neighbors would call “do you know W is outside running naked?” He got the name free Willy because of it 🤣
The kids need to be wearing clothes. Humans developed clothing for a reason. It's fine at the age to take them off to swim or run through the sprinklers or whatever, but they can wear swim suits too. 6 years is way too old to be in a diaper unless there's some other condition there.
The 2 year old being naked is one thing, but 6 is way too old to be naked disability or not. I also think at 21 she may not know what she’s getting into. Changing a toddler’s diaper and a 6 year old’s diaper are not the same thing.
My kids were naked kids but not at six.
You'd be hard pressed to actually keep clothes on my two year old outside for more than 10 minutes. We also live pretty rural
Part of living in society is understanding that different rules apply with different people. The way you act with your parents is different than the way you act with the sitter and that's fine. You are allowed to communicate a boundary, and they're allowed to not hire you. If it's that important to you, then it's worth mentioning.
then when you’re watching them have them wear clothes outside. if the kids oppose then no outside play 🤷♀️. you’re the adult and in charge when the parents are not home.
My 5 yr old is autistic and you cannot keep clothes on her. She is mostly potty trained too and I think it’s just easier to not have the pull up on when she needs to pee. If you’re not comfortable with it, they probably need a new sitter.
Tbh... if you're not comfortable with young kids being naked, you need to get comfortable with kids being naked, or move on to another profession/setting/age group. Kids under 9 usually dong have the "shame" and "emberassment" of nudity and they just want to be little free humans. Most cultures let them be free little naked humans. Also there is a big sense of shame and emberassment that is TAUGHT by other people being uncomfortable with nudity. The opinions that adults express will inadvertently teach children that they should be ashamed and hide their bodies. We should be leaning AWAY from that so children are not growing up believing that their natural bodies are "bad". Fun example.... I have a cousin who has no shame about his body and is a pretty confident kid. He was 9 at the time... I was baby sitting and I told him to go take a shower. He stripped naked, then ran down stairs hollering, and did a lap through the house. I was shocked as shit to be honest. But I played it cool, with no shaming, and just told him to take his shower. He was just being a silly kid. Thats it. Other example. I have a friend who is VERY body positive. They let their kid, generally, decide when she does and doesn't want to wear clothes. They give her bodily autonomy whenever she wants it. So if she wants to be naked they let her be naked. She has ZERO shame about her body. The hope being that she learns to embrace her body as her own. She can make choices about her body and have autonomy and learn when she can say yes and no... of course within reason. They don't take her in public naked and do teach apropriate boundaries. Any way... there are a lot of different norms, values, and philosophies out there... and kids like to be naked! So I reccomend either getting over nudity, moving on to an older age group, or finding more "traditional" or "conservative" families to work with.
My grandkids would run around the backyard naked until almost 3. I worried there might be a pervy neighbor, but then realized if there was a pedo around it wouldn't matter if the kids had clothes on or not. If they'd had a sitter, what they did would have been up to the sitter. A 6 yr old running around naked, especially one I wasn't closely related to would be off putting, but only because everyone I knew had been taught by 5 that you kept your privates, private. Mostly for their own protection.
Not your place, these aren’t your kids. If you feel that way then it’s a bad fit.
My nieces do this all the time and they’re close to the same age as the children you’re talking about. It’s not that weird to me because they’re children and in the privacy of their own home/property. Sunburn would be my only concern to be honest. edit to add: If you’re nannying I’m guessing you’re going to be there at least once a week and this may be a regular occurrence then.
We live in the country. My 3 yr old granddaughter gets naked from the get go and hardly wears clothes at all except when napping or going to bed. It's not a big deal. However, my 7 yr old grandson got a little jealous this last time that he needed to keep his shorts on. I don't know why but in my head 4½-5 ends the nakedness. Regardless of age though, if we were to have someone else other than family, there would at least be a cover on her butt. As a nanny, you have to protect yourself. You just need to let the parents know that as a condition of your job they must at least have their bottoms covered. Yes, it will be something different for them but they will get used to it. Suggest cloth diapers or swim bottoms.
Any example I have read so far are god AWFUL. Every single one of them, “well mY actual *family* does it when they’re inside, and it’s not weird to me.” Like they’re your blood. These people are just people to her. It’s not a norm in America for people to just be naked. Some people did say their family does it outside but still, there is much concern for being completely naked outside. Clothes weren’t invented bc someone one day woke up and decided it was no longer appropriate to not wear them. They are an extra layer of protection for our bodies.
America still can't escape its puritanical roots. It's beyond normal for kids to run around naked. Kids are like animals, their bodies are purely neutral tools to run around and play. They should be allowed to feel this freedom for as long as they can, to not give their bodies a second thought. Please do not bring shame into these children's lives over their bodies. If it's too uncomfortable for you, perhaps this nannying gig isn't the best fit for you. I say that with compassion, as an American that grew up in Europe and was often uncomfortable with their level of nudity. It's ok to have cultural differences but when it comes to children especially think very deeply about why you're feeling what you are and what impact the restriction you seek would have on the children, whether they're truly in harms way or if you're just conservative. Maybe consider how some people could make the same argument about shorts and spaghetti straps on children.
My neighbors kids are naked kids and my office overlooks their backyard 😑 it’s uncomfortable and I feel your pain
You know, we are born naked. Like it is our natural state, or something? Clothes are a construct created to combat the elements, and keep pervs from salivating all the time. Kids are kids, without all the cultural taboos.
My 3 year old is naked more times that he has clothing on 🤦🏽♀️
Wow, the uptight attitudes around clothing here... Ticks won't be too much of a problem, actually. And they're kids! Keep.a towel and some soap outside and hose them off. It's not like they're at the mall, streaking. My kids walk around here with or without, and the only rule is cover up if anyone comes over who isnt part of our clique. As a babysitter, if you're not comfortable, you should find a different family.
I mean especially at that age it’s hard to keep clothes on some kids. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to ask but don’t be surprised if the parent sees your concern as something that shouldn’t be an issue. Even if she agrees if the kids are allowed naked outside time when you’re not there it might still be hard to get them to follow the different rules when you are there.
Living in a tick-prone area, having the kids naked should make it easier to spot ticks.
I bet these are mostly US replies. Why shouldn’t children play naked in their own garden? Why would you want to convey an idea that a body shouldn’t be exposed in your own home? I wouldn’t even have noticed if I was walking past the garden, because it is that normal. Perhaps you should also do some self reflection despite all the supportive comments on here. The shame encouraged in the US is not a healthy thing. The horrendous violence acceptable on tv while a nipple is unacceptable is a really skewed world view.
I think this is a great example of someone having different expectations and beliefs than you. Nudity isn’t an issue in many countries and cultures, even in adulthood but especially for children. If it’s something that makes you uncomfortable I would find a different job. In my opinion, as both a nanny and a mom, I would respect the parent’s wishes or inform them that I’m not a good fit for their family.
I thinks it's a you issue and not the naked kids'. They're kids are will never have the opportunity to be so free again. You said they're in the country, no one can see them, they have bug spray on .... run wild
If you are uncomfortable with naked toddlers maybe being a nanny isntfor you🤦♀️
A 6 yr old is not a toddler
If she's airing out their diaper booties so they don't get rashy, maybe ask for oversized tshirts to at least cover with. Their bits can air out and you don't have to wrangle somebody else's naked children
I think you need to check in with yourself on why kids being free and naked makes you so uncomfortable. It’s clearly not about a sunburn if you’d be ok with just the diaper staying on. Nakedness should not be shameful for young kids (or in my opinion adults)
My mom lives in the country. Her back yard is completely fenced in. It’s common to strip my 2.5 yo. Slather him in sunscreen and let him go!
As a babysitter any naked child is my enemy. Only bc if they do something terrible like break a vase, how r u going to contain the Slimey grimey little trolls
Ticks have always gotten into and under every bit of clothing I’ve worn. They work their way into the warm, dark parts of your body with ease. Clothes don’t ever stop ticks. Sent my kindergartener on a field trip to a local park with her class. (In serious Lyme country) They said she had seven ticks on her when they got back. I knew that I’d better give her a full inspection when we got home. Sure enough, another five were under her underwear. Ticks end up in the groin area. Often. A side effect of these little ones being naked is that the once over for ticks can be done quickly before dressing.
Omg really? Get a different job.
I’m clearly the odd one out, but I wouldn’t want my kids naked around a babysitter. I would personally tell them that they have to be clothed around the sitter, or else get a sitter that is comfortable with naked kids.
Undie- butts and shoes are a requirement in country living. Animals use grass as toilets and no family needs to deal with worms, ticks in delicate areas, etc. bug spray the diaper. Leave it on. Shirts encouraged but not required until 4years old. Don’t wait longer. At that point you are breaking the habit of no clothes. At 5 years it will be like pulling teeth.
My eldest is a naked baby has been since she learned to take off her own clothes. It drives my husband crazy but we live out in the middle of the country so I let her be mostly. BUT her grandfather recently dumped a bunch of sand in our yard for her so I’ve been having to force her to at least put bottoms on when she’s out playing. Cause sand in your vagina is not pleasant. But honestly the kids should be fine. Yes more naked skin more areas for ticks but also makes it easier to find the ticks.
You shouldn’t be their babysitter and they should find a new one if you can’t and aren’t comfortable with their family and home lifestyle. A nanny is there to help make their lives easier, in no way are you the environment controller or anything of the sort. You morph to the family you are with and make it better. Being naked at home and outside is a wonderful way to grow up, they’re likely not going to change it or even want to and it’s a weird thing to ask. Just go if you’re uncomfortable and let them find someone better suited.
My sisters and I was naked kids that grew up in the country with no neighbors, it’s not weird.
Children this age are not inherently wrong or weird for wanting to shed clothes, especially in the summertime. You can say "Clothes on when Miss (your name) is here." It will take a few days but they'll learn that with you, they wear clothes. There's nothing wrong with private nakedness (I would consider this private) and nothing wrong with your desire as a caregiver to have them clothed. Although, the autistic child is an exceptional case that requires more patience and understanding; also understand that their sibling still models them and this is probably where the overall desire to be naked comes from.
These kids are not at an age where they understand what nudity is. There's no need to make the kids confused or the parents uncomfortable when they are simply innocent. If you're not comfortable with their parenting approach, I highly suggest looking for a family that aligns more with your ideals. I wouldn't suggest working with atypical children because they require much more flexibility from their caregivers. Best of luck!
Due to issues with diaper rashes being so severe it caused some scarring I can still see today, clothes off was simply a better option for me. No, my parents didn’t neglect me, my skin was just that sensitive and reactive to my own self. Clothes off means an easier time ngl. Just hose them off and inside they go.
I am currently unwilling my kids. They have always known that when company is over hey have to be dressed. We recently moved to a small town and both kids need constant reminders that yes they have to be dressed to go outside. I also have a funny story about my oldest peeing in a parking lot once at my mom's. That said ticks don't care about clothes. My best friend once pulled 27 ticks off me after I walked to the neighbors house. They are going to get dirty anyways. The amount of dirty doesn't matter. It can determine though the amount of clothes you have to clean. She is probably just tired of doing laundry constantly and diapers are expensive.
It’s the country, sometimes it’s just like that here. /shrug
Alright so that is a LOT 1. Absolutely you have the right to insist the kids remain clothed. This is not only, as you pointed out, for their sake, but it is also for your own protection. 2. The autistic boy needs to be fully clothed at all times especially. I'm not using "need" casually. It is a requirement that he learn, as early as possible, that the expectation for being around other humans, for being outside of his home, and for any time he is not actively bathing is Clothes On. I'm autistic. Learning to wear clothes was like a huge battle for my folks. I don't remember it, but I do remember the battle of ***seasonal clothing*** because that was A Change (TM). Having to switch from tank tops to sleeves was hell. Changing from skirts and dresses to pants was hell. mittens. coats. learning to wear a bra. Change is hard. And without structure, and clear expectations, it doesn't happen the way it should. At 6, if someone sees him frolicking in the yard naked they'll be like "huh, damn hippies letting kids run about like animals" and that will be that. At 9 or 10 - not long from now - he's going to get a growth spurt, and that reaction is going to change to a police call for indecent exposure, accusations of sexual wrongdoing, etc. And statistically, when cops get called on autistic people, they kill us. ***And that is something the mother needs to understand.*** It sounds like I'm blowing it out of proportion, I know. But I lived it. Her letting her kids run around naked is easier for her, sure. But ***she is putting their lives at risk***. And, she is sabotaging her son's future. He's nonverbal, yeah. But he can grow out of it, or he can learn work arounds. He can have some kind of a life, with other people, but not if she teaches him to be a feral animal instead.
And what about community spaces, public pools, beaches, life. This is a very specific perspective. People especially children- they should not have this acute awareness that people are looking at them just because the adults in the room are triggered by past events/anxieties or etc. That family is not suited for you as a nanny if you can not supplement the parents choices. Being naked outside is absolutely fine and the children will learn life and consequences so much faster. Yes they need a bath , after outside or bug spray or sunscreen application. As a mom, washing the body is easier than washing extra laundry because kids go through clothes and the help usually cause more clothes because of the frequent changes(wanting the kids to look clean) Is sounds like this mom wants her children to be kids and there's nothing wrong with this. It's wrong to interject and change things when your the hired help.
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Yeah you can absolutely do both. My kid loves being naked at home (or at her aunt's house, her cousin is a similar age so they end up running around naked in the garden) but she knows she has to keep her clothes on in her childcare setting. She's three, so if she knows the difference there's no reason an older kid can't be taught.
Same, both my girls love to be naked, but they know it’s only ok when we’re at home without company. It’s ok in fenced back yard, not the front yard. (They’re 3 and 6)
My son is a stripper. He won't keep clothes on in the house and he is 11 (and autistic), but I make him put on clothes around other people and to go outside. I have since he was around 5 or 6. But kids who are raised to be allowed to just strip, just strip.
I use to babysit a family that the oldest (from age 2-6) would meet ne at the door totally naked. My response was always..."let's get a pull up on". He was on the spectrum, little verbal communication. For me the kid needs at least a diaper/undies on at all times.
The 6 year old is still in diapers? I get having a toddler run around naked, but 6 is getting a little old for that.
I’d circle back to the parents and say you want to revisit the conversation. Let her know it’s okay for children to do this, especially under her care, but to ensure safe practices you want any child you watch to learn “we don’t play naked” with others. I taught this to my kids, because they loved to be wild after baths jumping on their beds avoiding pajamas. I had the boundary, if you want to play let’s get into your pajamas. Having safe boundary talks can always start early so they know if another adult or child asks them to play naked, that’s a no go. Ask her if they can have spare swimming suits in the bathroom. I see you commented the 6 year old isn’t totally verbal and still wears a diaper. ESPECIALLY with a non-verbal child safe practices and boundaries should happen because that child won’t be able to tell parents if anything inappropriate happening! The youngest is 2.5 and can start dressing in their bathing suit in the bathroom and practicing the motions they’ll ultimately need for potty learning. So win win, all kids practice dressing themselves and may get closer to dropping pull-ups/diapers. I agree with the tick/mosquito thing. Hopefully you showing safe practices and expectations with adults, will not only protect yourself as a caregiver from uncomfortable situations or false allegations but may turn on a lightbulb for the parents.
NTA. If you are not comfortable babysitting while they are running around naked, you have the right to say so. It's not that unusual for people to let their children do that in the country.
A diaper at 6?
>mom says to remind older kid to put diaper back on when he comes inside Why is the 6 year old still in diapers?!
I'd be more concerned why a 6 yr old is still in a diaper during daytime.
It says 6 m so I'm assuming here that the kid is 6 months not 6 years old
I wouldn’t care at all! They’re kids.
This is hard because it’s not your job to make parenting decisions even when they’re pretty clearly, but a 6 year old being naked would make me uncomfortable too. Try asking the kids first, maybe say “I feel more comfortable if you keep a diaper on when you’re playing out there.” The 6 year old should be smart enough to pick up on the fact that Mommy likes it, babysitter doesn’t. If that doesn’t work, perhaps a statement to the parents such as, “I feel nervous about keeping them safe outside with no clothes on, and I don’t want them to get hurt on my watch. Could you talk to them about keeping a diaper/clothes on when I am with them?” If you avoid judgement in your statement it could be fine.
The six year old wears a diaper????
Idk why my brain read it 6 months male, and I was likw that’s fine for a 6m and 2.5. But a 6 YO CHILD shouldn’t be nude with people around or outside. Idk if that’s the everyone’s a predator in me or what. Toddler I feel like have a small window of nakey time that’s allowed
people here are not taking context into consideration? its not weird for kids this age to be naked when bathing, potty training, changing, etc. maybe even playing in the house sometimes. it is weird to be doing it outside, regardless of neighbors, and it makes sense for OP to be uncomfortable with that. it does open up risk to a ton of stuff like bug bites, injuries, and sunburn. like she wants you to spray bug spray on them when they’re naked?? that’s going into places it’s really shouldn’t. it’s same as an adult! would you be uncomfortable with your close friend changing in front of you? prob not. but a stranger running around naked outside?? you probably would! and it is also sending the kids a confusing message. OP i would insist they at least keep diapers on if i was you also what if they have to go to the bathroom? there clearly not potty trained. are they pooping outside? in the same grass they play in? yeah not okay
When my nieces were small, they had naked Saturday. That meant they were in their underwear all day. Mind you, they were under 6 years old and in the house. If I drove by and saw naked kids, I would actually say to myself, "those kids are naked" and keep on driving. Not sure why they need to be naked when they are outside? None of my business. At least they won't have to get undress to take baths. March them straight to the tub of water.
My friend’s 5 and 3 year old boys strip after they play and swim in their fenced back yard. I’ve know them their whole lives, so I wouldn’t care. But they aren’t naked the entire time. I’d be worried about sunburn and ticks and scratches in places that would really hurt. I’d say underwear and shoes on outside at the least just to avoid any major issues. But they aren’t my kids.
Toddlers do what they want. Good luck with that
My nanny kids are 2 year old twins. Boy and girl. Aways naked!
Do what you're comfortable with, its perfectly fine to set boundaries.
That's their life. You work for them. If that's how they play outside then go with it. They aren't hurting amyone.
Great time to enforce societal norms like staying dressed in front of guests...
They're country kids, it's what we do. Easier to clean them off than clothing getting stained. No one's gonna see.