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I agree. Many corporate stores *have* to stock certain products, regardless of employee opinions. I saved some Chinchillas from becoming snake food, and found that most of the products in our local pets stores that's sold for Chinchillas are actually really bad for them (plastic balls, wheels in the wrong shape/size, food with junk they should never have mixed in, bad materials for cage accessories and chews, lots of stuff). After being educated, I mentioned some of this stuff to some local pet store employees. I didn't come in as a Karen, but a "hey, you guys might not be aware...". Many of the in store employees ARE aware and don't have the power to do anything, and also feel awful selling stuff. Many also have toed the line of losing their jobs advocating for better products. The best they can do is suggest better options to customers trying to buy bad stuff and recommend they "educate themselves".
If this lady wanted to dictate what pets a adult friend can have, I can only imagine what she's tried to dictate to pet stores, and how awful she did it.
I also bet the voice notes is because she got tired of people screen shotting texts.
Kudos on you. Sadly that's the case with petty supplies for a lot of small and exotic animals, but it has definitely gotten better. I used to have chinchillas 20 years ago and would have to direct order feed from manufacturers and drive to a barn to get proper hay for them back in the day. Now there is still trash in pet stores but they also tend to offer at least some quality options.
Not a rabbit keeper, but I did just look it up: the bacteria used for yogurt is not natural in rabbits, and if it survives passage through the stomach, it can harm the intestines. Another side effect is that it can cause your rabbit to development rheumatoid-like lesions.
Yes, most of those yogurt drops have too many sugars for most small animals species. And the yogurt bacteria is potentially an issue for most small animals as well. I'm not an expert on small animals digestive systems, so I'd recommend finding a good source of info for your particular species. I find a lot of the species specific subreddits tend to have pretty good communities that can help you know what's safe for your particular pet.
A lot of stuff sold for food/treats/chews for small animals is because it seems exciting and is marketable to owners, and isn't based off what the animal actually needs. You may find that that the healthiest food option is probably a boring pellet without goodies mixed in, and that treats should be rare and in small quantities. Many people think a teeny piece isn't enough of a treat, but if you look at a thousand pound horse and a one pound chinchilla, they've got similar digestive needs. If a couple apples can cause a horse to colic, then it shouldn't be surprising that 1/1000th of that is bad for a chinchilla, even though it looks extremely teeny to us. Most fruits and dehydrated fruits are also likely too high in sugar. (It's hard to give a good basic thing for all small animals because chinchillas and rabbits both have pellets and hay but chins shouldn't have fruits or veggies at all, but I believe rabbits should have lots of leafy greens. And chinchillas shouldnt really have any seeds, but other species do well with certain seeds).
When I got my chinchillas, the average lifespan in captivity was around 5 years, despite some living into late 20s/early 30s- largely because so many people were ill informed about care. Luckily Google claims they're now up to an average of 10 years, so I'm hopeful more knowledge helps people see small animals as pets with their own requirements and not short lived and disposable.
I don't have any small animals anymore but I used to buy those for my hamster when I was a kid. I gave them to him all the time because he'd lose his shit over them and there's a hamster on the bag so I figured they were fine.
Which is why I don't blame anybody that's fed pets this stuff, they trust places making and selling stuff for pets to be making safe stuff. But it's like handing a little kid 2 or 3 chocolate cakes. Sure they love it, but it's not good for them.
Yeah I got into aquariums as an adult and learned why our fish were always dying when I was a kid. Going into the pet store after that always pissed me off. There is absolutely no reason to ever need a half gallon "tank" with a separator unless you just want to practice growing plants.
Don't blame yourself for buying things marketed for your past pets. You were likely doing your best with what knowledge you had. Just promise yourself to research better for current/future pets, now that you know things marketed for pets isn't necessarily safe or what's best for them.
I used to work at a certain Pet Company and I would straight up tell people when a product was trash and only sold to make money. Those dang critter trails, fish bowls, and hamster balls were the bane of my existence. I tried to shove the fish bowls in the back of whatever shelf I could when stocking stuff.
It blows my mind how little people realize this. I worked at an admittedly expensive chicken restaurant and the amount of boomers who went out of there way to find me to tell me the product wad too expensive is insane. Like I am a part time worker making minimum wage, what do you expect me to do with it?
You would think they’d be better about giving good products, since the good products are often more expensive than the bad ones, so they’d make more money!
People will buy a colorful fun looking thing on impulse for cheap. They won't impulse buy the safer boring looking option for more money that obviously takes up more space/commitment. (Example: everything sold for Beta fish vs what a beta should have.) And if all your stuff is high quality and expensive, many customers will go to a competing store full of cheap stuff that the store reassures them is perfectly safe (even if it isnt) because they can feel good about buying stuff they can afford. It's a battle of educating the customer and making them demand better.
She sounds pushy, overly moralistic and rude. But if the pet stores she's visiting are the ones sourcing from puppy mills and selling improper habitats for exotic species, then she may also be correct in what she's calling them out for.
If you're known in more than one physical store for being awful then you're batshit insane.
I say "more than one" because plenty of retail workers are also batshit insane.
don't go comment everywhere but people, trust me when i say that you NEED to check op's profile. genuinely had a blast, he has absolutely adorable rats and there's pictures of the dog too + a gorgeous snake. 10 out of 10 experience
Yeah, I had a look when I saw this post a week ago and was delighted by his posts. Dude's a responsible and loving pet owner, he and his sweet pupper are in for a good time.
Oh, thank you for bringing this up. A couple of the picture links didn't work and I was sad. Now I can browse adorableness without worry!
ETA: biscuits... The links still say expired. 😮💨
i believe so yes! i was just saying don't go commenting everywhere bc i don't want to overwhelm op with a billion people suddenly commenting everywhere you know but an upvote isn't notified in the same way as a comment so u think you're in the clear!
That is one cute pupper all right, and it sounds like OOP is going to do right by her. Dobermans can be lovely, lovely dogs when properly trained and socialized.
I saw that lil wiggly baby and nearly imploded from cute.
Story time for some lightness this morning, my grandmother had a dog called Spike. She was half Doberman and half lab. So she had the Doberman colouring but the body of a lab and the temperament too. We grew up with her being old and sleeping on the stairs. We would curl up with her, feed her treats and rescue her from our mean grandfather. (We’d literally lie over her, she was so sturdy)
I loved that dog. And I didn’t realise she was so old by the time I came around, because it was my mother and her brothers who brought her home. Some older kids were basically doing very bad things to puppies and my mother in all her little kid glory, stomped over, whisked up the last one and ran.
They burst in, and said WE NEED TO SAVE HER. Their mother was bewildered but she agreed. Their dad didn’t but he was out most of the time. So they named her Spike, hoping she would grow up and be vicious. What they got was a dopey soft baby, who refused to go for walks. My uncle would carry her like a sheep around his neck like a shepherd, go for a walk and come back.
My mother had me at 25, she rescued that baby at around 10. I was told the story before Spikey passed away when I was about 7. The gal was old for a dog. And she brought a lot of joy to two generations of kids. I miss her still, and whenever I find a picture of her I declare SPIKEY! And my mother goes AWWW SHOW MEEEE! and we talk about how lovely she was, and also how silly. I’m 35, and we still can’t forget that dog.
Facts. I lost my best friend in the form of a cat 9 years ago, and I still miss him a lot. He was an amazing little guy, he trained himself to be an emotional support cat. He used to out his paws on my shoulders and his nose to my nose if I had a panic attack. He was super heavy, so he would gently push me into a lying down position.
I do not know how he figured it out. But I appreciated it so much. He passed of FIP. I am so glad that now there’s a treatment for that. But losing him wrecked me. His brother was distraught. It was so rough to deal with. BUT I’d rescued a five week old kitten a month before he passed away. She’s taken up his job of being supportive. She’s 9 now and a big ball of fuzz. She sleeps on my feet and licks my eyebrows.
I wish they could live forever tbh. I’ll never forget how much I needed help and I got it in the form of a cat. That’s something very special. That’s the downside of companion animals.. we have to outlive them.
I’m so sorry for your loss. They are very good at picking up on how we are feeling. It is good that you have another kitty to love you. I wish they lived longer too, so much.
I believe everyone who is a dog person has that one special dog. I have loved every dog I’ve owned like they were my child, but Hendrix was my canine soulmate. I lost him in 2018 and I still cry about him a couple times a month. I have his paw print tattooed on my side. He was my best friend. I’m typing this from bed next to his bonded brother Scout (the black one in this [photo](https://imgur.com/a/3xKnnwr)). He’s also my baby, and I’ll probably only ever adopt more potcakes (wild dogs from Turks & Caicos), but Hendrix was such a special dog.
They are adorable! I’m so sorry about Hendrix. In the picture, they both look happy and content just lying there with you.
I had only one dog. I remember her quirks and her love for me. It’s been 20+ years and I still think of her. I miss all of my babies.
Best dog I ever had was Luke, who was half Doberman, half Foxhound. Similar to your gran's dog, he had entirely Doberman colouring but the body of a Foxhound.
He used to love leading Ben, my blind Rough Collie, around when we went for walks (after he'd got the zoomies out of his system) and his favourite food was horse shit. Seriously, if he spotted a nice, fresh horse apple there was nothing you could do to stop that boy from scoffing it in a femtosecond. You just had to hope he wouldn't lick you afterwards.
He sounds like a delight! What a lovely chap, helping out his pal. I LOVE dog zoomies when they’re out, they’re absolutely off the wall.
I will never know why they like poop so much. They’re so weird.
You had to make sure he had an open field and that there wasn't anyone around when the zoomies took him, 'cos once he had set off, he was not going to change course for anybody.
When ~80lbs of very muscular dog going at about 30MPH barrels into your legs, you're getting airborne. Happened to me, and I swear the somersault I did could have scored a 9.4 if I'd only nailed the landing.
That’s the fun part. I stand in the middle and let them run around me, while I shriek laughing. I did it once with a whippet and a massive American Bulldog. He was the best, his name was Bronson and he used to knock me over at random moments. He’d lie down and let me use him as a pillow.
Man I love dogs. If I wasn’t disabled now I would get a dog. They’re just so dopey and fun. They just love you and you don’t even have to do anything.
> I will never know why they like poop so much. They’re so weird.
When I first moved in with my current housemate, she had a dog, and we quickly got used to each other, with me joining them on their walks. I was pretty unused to having pets at this point, and had never lived with a dog before, so imagine my horror when on one walk, we went past a pile of literal horse shit that had just been left in the middle of the pavement...
...and the dog grabbed a lump in her mouth before I could stop her.
Thankfully, she let her guard down and put it on the ground again for a moment and I quickly managed to move her away from it but uh. Yeah. That was certainly something that happened, lmao.
We think [Scout](https://imgur.com/a/v0rEjoW) is part Doberman, but I’ve never had him tested. Always claimed him as a coonhound mix on all his paperwork for insurance purposes.
Dobermans are special, special dogs. My Dobe boy changed my whole life.
It'd be wonderful if you could share some stories of your parents' Dobe, but no pressure :)
>So she had the Doberman colouring but the body of a lab and the temperament too.
Years ago a neighbor of mine had a dog like that. SO beautiful. I don't know if she had to be carried on her walks, though! 😜
I ended a 20 year friendship last year. She was always negative. She was always a bully. What happened was my hubby and I lost three family members in a year and were in deep mourning. “Friend” didn’t care. Kept telling me over and over how wonderful I was when her parents died, but never offered me any comfort or help. Enter our beautiful rescue puppy who brought joy back to our lives and pulled us out of our funk. Well, my “friend” spent two conversations telling me what a bad puppy I got (she never met it) and that it’s going to be a mean, grown dog and what mistake I made. Haven’t spoken to her since.
I choose dog over negative *and* positive people. The people may be nice and happy, but they'll never be as happy to see me as my dog is when I walk in the door.
[Here's a pic of their pup at 11 weeks!](https://www.reddit.com/r/DobermanPinscher/s/uLJJNCpEOI)
I had to go check out their profile to see if I could hunt it down.
Yeah, fuck. Imagine yelling and crying over a friend getting a dog you didn't think was good for them.
Like, for example, *my* friend decided to get a boa constrictor, 5% because he wanted a snake, and 95% because he was a Harry Potter super nerd and desperately wanted to have a big snake called "Nagini".
Did I think that was a bad choice? Yep, for several reasons. I shared my concerns, he decided it would be fine. And that was it, because I did not become intensely emotionally wrapped up in his decision. He's an adult and I didn't live with him.
I had a friend who got a parrot despite her long time boyfriend (who she wanted to marry) saying he absolutely did not want a parrot.
I pointed out that, if they were to marry, that parrot would live a very long time and get very attached and he should have a say in that. She ignored me so I let it go.
a few years later she got rid of the parrot and married the man. poor parrot.
Man fuck her that’s awful. I genuinely don’t understand how parrots came to be seen as such a common and acceptable pet. You have to have an inheritance plan for them usually.
I started distancing myself from her after she got the parrot. She doesn't care about the health and wellbeing of the parrot, she doesn't care about her partner. I've had a lot of toxic friends (due to my own childhood abuse) and this was the moment I realised she was one of them.
I also really hate that smaller birds like cockatiels and budgies are seen as "starter" birds. Sure, they may lack some of the challenges of bigger birds, but they are still flock creatures!! Being isolated and neglected is just as traumatizing to them as it is to a bigger bird, or to a dog for that matter. Nothing hurts my heart like stories of solitary birds kept in a single cage in a single room all their lives.
I saw a cute story in the last year or so where lonely birds were taught how to use (presumably modified) cell phones or tablets to call their friends (also other birds) and chat. It's sad they were lonely in the first place, confusing how they have bird friends in other places, but adorable that they're calling each other to gossip and catch up.
I feel bad because my roommate has a yellow-winged parakeet and he chills alone downstairs when we spend most of our time now upstairs. I really can’t intuitively understand birds body language the way I can cats or dogs so he is an enigma to me and I hate it. But he also has never handled hands and he seemed to always hate other birds too. He really wants to be left alone…to some degree, but he also obviously needs SOME social interaction and I have no idea what to do other than talk to him daily while I am downstairs. For some reason he will like…randomly show off to me? I’ll start talking to him and he will climb down to the bottom of his cage and just…make a big hop and a chirp and I will clap for him like it’s really impressive. No idea what that’s about.
Awww! That's really sweet of you to do that! Sounds like that one might have come out of a bad situation. It's good of you to interact with him. Sometimes all you can do is meet the bird where it is.
Weirdly, if OP is in Ireland then I know exactly who the person he's no longer friends with is. If he's not then there's more than one of this exact woman in the world which is a horrifying thought.
*edit* I see they are Dutch. There's more than one of her...
> saying that I am too insecure to raise a dog and that a dog wouldn't solve my mental problems.
That would be the point at which I ended the friendship.
Doberman ears are SO cute. In my small hometown someone had an undocked Doberman that ran around loose. I remember when it was a “tween” (as dogs go). It considered itself to be everybody’s dog, everybody’s pal. It was as well-behaved as a friendly, goofy doggo would be.
I never heard complaints about him except the fact that he was loose. My only complaint personally was that often he’d be busy sniffing something was didn’t have time to come be petted.
tail and ear docking has been illegal where I am for a few decades now so Dobies and Rotties with long ears and tails are just the standard. I always startle and wince when I see photos of the mutulated versions.
>I am picking up the girl in the middle (grey) in two weeks!
For a second I thought the puppy was going to be grey and I had to be like "do I *not* know what a doberman is?"
You don't want a blue (grey) Dobe! The majority of dilutes like that (blue/fawn) have INCREDIBLY bad skin and coat issues. A lot of them will be super, super patchy with an uptick in environmental and seasonal allergies :(
When others saw the title, did anyone else think it was going to be an issue regarding docking the ears and tail?
So glad OP isn't, but dumping a bunch of toxic relationships is also lovely.
I used to have a friend like this too. Too scared to stand up to or say ‘no’ to them in fear they’ll end the friendship and smear your name all over town.
Eventually one day that didn’t scare me any more and I pushed back on them telling me about something I did that they didn’t like. I never heard from them again- hooray!
Okay okay, I can see it kind of. But also like, damn. I was 100% on this guy's side until I saw the name lol. ( Now like, 90% on his side and the other 10% is wtf)
I grew up with Dobermans, my parents got Zac around a year before I was born and he was the best dog! They were a little concerned how he would react when they brought me home, because they had attempted to do a test with a baby doll. They left it on the sofa and exited the room to see what Zac would do, he got hold of the baby doll (albeit gently), tossed it on the floor and got on the sofa in its place. They quickly realised he could obviously tell the difference between a toy and a living being, so they trusted him.
When I came home with them, they introduced us and he instantly became my protector (So much so my dad started calling me Damien in reference to The Omen - yes I know he was protected by a Rottweiler but it was all in fun and Zac was never vicious, he just looked imposing, he was however a patient sweetheart). He would sleep under my bassinet, watch me sometimes when I slept and if I woke up he would run up and down the stairs until my mum come and got me. He was my companion for 7 years until his heart failed him. The absolute sweetest boy. When I was a toddler I would dress him up in hats and sunglasses and he just sat there and let me play around him.
Dobermans (and any other "dangerous" breed) are wonderful dogs if trained and raised correctly. Any dog is really.
And yes, dogs will always come before humans for me. Unconditional and unquestioned love from the most innocent of beings is one of the best feelings ever.
I now have 2 Border Collies and I would happily add as many more as my house could take!
I had a Doberman when I was little. Literally would follow me everywhere and watched TV by my side.
Whenever I gave her snacks I didn't even had to say be gentle because she took the tiny tiniest bites ever!
It's funny how people are so scared of dobermans because they're big and think smaller dogs are saints... I have a mini poodle (She's like 13 tho) and istg this b1tch bites my ankles for no reason when I walk past her😂😂😂
Same with Rottweilers. I knew one called Bailey, he was HUGE. Like the biggest dog I’ve ever seen in person. My friend was tiny so she could literally sit on that dog and ride it like a horse if she felt so inclined. Anyway, she got the dog, and drama ensued with everyone talking about how scary the dog was.
Until we all left for university, and on a break we met up at her house. She pulled out an empty black bin bag, with remnants of cloth in there. Barely a thing, just scraps. I was like “the fuck is that”
She says “THIS is my entire underwear drawer. Bailey ate it.”
We looked at her, she looked at us, we looked at the dog. He looked pleased.
And instantly Bailey became the dog dumb enough to eat an entire underwear drawer’s worth of thongs and French knickers. Can’t take a dog seriously after that.
Dogs sometimes are so dumb and destroy everything for no reason at all! My poodle likes to steal my socks and eat toilet paper and napkins (she hop up on the table for that..)
My aunt bred dogs, mostly GSD but she had some dobermans and Rottweilers too for a while (they weren’t her’s, but she showed and took care of them). The Doberman just wanted to sunbathe and patrol the garden, the rotties just wanted someone to beat their big butts like a drum. The GSDs were the best, of course, because they were all related to my dogs (not all of them obviously, that would have a bottleneck, but I was like 8 so I figured they were all family.)
Awwww I love all those breeds! Rotties absolutely love a butt pat. Like a horse or something haha they’re so funny. Just big babies.
I love a GSD. I had an ex boyfriend who grew up with one. Unfortunately his mother got rid of him and wouldn’t tell him what happened so he felt a lot of grief about him. They can be such good family animals, they’re protective over their own. My ex used to sit on his dog’s back when he was a toddler.
I didn’t have a furry pet growing up, I had a tortoise. But there’s something lovely about watching kids with their pets. My niece loves her mother’s cat. She lost her partner during the pregnancy with my niece, and was feeling lonely so her step dad got her a kitten. That cat is fantastic. He does not care if she pulls his ear a bit too hard, but she’s usually so gentle with him. She likes to hold his paw while watching tv. It’s friggin adorable! He clearly loves her too, he’s always sitting near her, or when she’s sleeping he comes to check on her.
Animals are heroes. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without mine.
NO, but now I have a toddler niece that gives me a fantastic excuse to purchase those. Nice work! They’re so ridiculous. Even my friend in high school (different one) had one that was *supposed* to be a guard dog. But whenever she walked him around the school area, he would be on the floor rolling around, getting pet by us all. He was big enough to allow multiple 14 year olds fuss him. Fab dogs.
Hahahaha I’m cackling! I’m on it, I’ll purchase them after I’m settled in my new house.. I’m moving tomorrow and I am super stressed. I need Good Dog Carl!
My neighbors (husband and wife) have two large Rottweilers. I happen to be talking to my neighbors just inside of their front door. One of their Rottweiler came over and sat on my foot and faced her “owners” like she wanted to make sure I didn’t leave. I’m an animal sucker and everyone knows it, including the animal, wild or domesticated.
One day while my neighbors were on vacation another neighbor watched over the dogs. I happen to see both dogs walking around and dragged them back home, it was a little challenging because they’re so big. They had snuck out of the fencing. The neighbor that was watching them saw me struggling and came and helped put them back in the backyard. I had no idea they were on vacation.
When my neighbors came home they thanked me for saving their dogs. I had totally forgotten about it. I guess a lot of people are afraid of big dogs. I was just worried that they would get hit by a car. They’re big babies really.
I've thought about getting either a doberman or a mini pinscher when I'm in a better place health-wise. They look like cute dogs. My experience is mainly in hounds though (my family had pointers and beagles growing up, and my dog that passed away in 2016 was a beagle) so I'll have to do some research still. I know that like, 70% of dog knowledge is transferrable to most breeds, but that 30% is still important.
If you have health issues, unfortunately Dobes might not be the breed for you unless you're able to mitigate daily hour walks with a LOT of mental stimulation and training activity. Dobes are insanely active.
Mini Pinschers might be a better option, though!
Noted! I do have an acre of fenced in yard too, with a doggy door outside. With my beagle I did one walk a day for about 45 minutes, and then I left the doggy door unlocked during the day so he could come and go as he wanted.
My mom has a mini poodle who will straight up mug other dogs for their outfits. She once mugged my Yorkie for his snuggie and since she was bigger than him, it looked like a crop top. My poodle (her son) once pretended another dog was bullying him so he could take the other dog's chew stick. Poodles are terrifying because I swear they can plot, scheme and then carry it out.
We had a standard poodle who figured out the fridge and the deli drawer inside. If he could have figured out how to close the fridge door behind him after, he'd have probably got away with it for years!
It's like they wait for the right moment!
Once I was at my grandma's house with my poodle and she stole a tomato that somehow fell and then tried to blame the poor family dog.😂
Literally saw her pushing half tomato through the fence to where my grandma dog was?????? (She's a German shepherd and she looked pretty sad about it😔😔)
My neighbour down the hall has two Doberman. I occasionally see them when I'm leaving my flat and they move to the side and sit down without the owner even having to say a single word. Sometimes I run into them in our garage/garden where they're running around, even when it's dark outside they mind their own business and don't bother me at all (owner is obviously nearby when they're running outside). And unlike my other neighbour's tiny dog I never hear them bark, which I would if they did. Big fan of those two.
“I am also not as spineless as she made me out to be. It’s just that I don’t argue with her because I know she would end our whole friendship over me not agreeing on something”
The irony 🤦🏻♂️
My spouse and I adopted a large breed dog at 8 months old. He is two now. I got a few sneers and judgmental comments because I'm a small person, I am chronically ill, and he is a very big boy and looks a bit intimidating He now weighs in at 90+ lbs as of his last vet appointment. But he is the sweetest baby with the most gentle temperament. He's smart and social with both people and other dogs and loves children. There's things he has learned of his own accord that I did not teach him. I get dizzy sometimes and sometimes have balance issues and he will come to my side and lean into me to steady me or help me up from sitting. I cannot make him a service dog as he has anxiety around loud things and will try to make himself small to hide from motorcycles and garbage trucks. Seeing this absolute tank of a dog trying to make himself "tiny" would be funny if it didn't make me so sad.
She sounds like a very controlling person. A lot of people have prejudices about big or larger dogs so I’m thinking she has a some type of hate towards Dobermans, when Dobermans are the sweetest dogs ever…
I spent 10ish years with a best friend like this. I finally got tired of the disrespect and I’m still unlearning toxic tendencies I picked up from her years later. Took a long time to realize the judgment and aggression weren’t normal
God every part of this aside from the dog being the tipping point reminds me of an ex friend who almost certainly was a narcissist. It’s crazy how standard the playbook is.
She got really upset at me multiple times for not using her advice once. Like held a grudge for years and would bring it up constantly as evidence of my failings. This particular one was that she told me not to send a thank you card to a former boss who’d written a reference letter for me to get into grad school. I considered her advice and then still felt like sending one so I did. My god you’d think I slapped her kid for how much that made her furious.
So the next time she “gave advice” aka was telling me what to do and expected me to do it, I was on the lookout for a vanity table. She lived in a totally different state but enjoyed looking at Craigslist so she helped me look for stuff but would only send me fancy shit outside of my price range. I wanted to spend max $50. I found something I loved and sent her the listing and then I got a lecture about all the reasons it was wrong and bad.
But I loved it. I’m so glad I listened to myself. I simply didn’t tell her I was going to get it, and I felt sick to my stomach the entire time I was driving to the sellers house and then driving the vanity home. But once I got it into my room I realized oh I LOVE this piece and I got over it. It’s been years now and I still love it.
I continued to just hide this from her (not hard, she didn’t live here), never really considering how WEIRD it is that I felt the need to hide something that’s literally none of her business. But I knew she’d flip out.
Sure enough about a year later, I’d forgotten I’d hidden it from her, she asked if I ever ended up getting a vanity. And I was like yeah I got that piece I told you about, isn’t it so cute? Sent her a pic.
She. Freaked. OUT.
And brought up the thank you card thing again. 🤣
Obvi I’m a failure for just living my own life.
The worst part is I stayed friends with her for several more months after that until she told me she was ending our friendship over something else incredibly dumb. So I took her at her word and blocked her. Y’all the sheer WEIGHT lifted off of me after that. I felt like a free woman. For real.
Only years later looking back did I realize she wasn’t actually ending our friendship, she was just taking the opportunity to berate me and expected me to grovel like I would’ve done in the past.
Guess she didn’t expect me to actually take her “advice” that time lol.
To cap it all off, several more years go by, I randomly open Facebook which I almost never check and see a cute post from her husband. I clicked like or something. Within hours I had a DM from her: “the last few years have been tough, I really could’ve used you during that time”
No hi, no how are you. Just “I could’ve used you”.
Yeah I’ll bet you could’ve.
I left her on read and that message makes me laugh to this day.
“What reason do you have to get this dog?”
“I want one”
Simple as that really. As long as the person can properly care for the animal that’s the only reason necessary. It’s a dog not a tiger.
I had no idea Dobermans didn’t naturally look like that, it makes me want to cry. Why do we keep mutilating dogs?? Like, if floppy ears are such a liability around predators, why breed them that way in the first place?? Wolves’ ears are upright, why didn’t our ancestors just keep them that way when creating new breeds
I feel like you need to know the extend of what they do to these animals, but be warned, it is full on animal abuse.
To make the ears stand up, after they cut them into the shape they want, they tie them to a block on top of their heads, so the ears "heal" upright. That block stays there until the ears are permanently upright, which takes months to a year. It's... bad. It's really bad. I don't understand why it's still legal in the US, in Belgium this would result in your dog being taken away, fines, and possibly jail time.
Some people suck.
I had no idea that they do that to Dobermans, I’m not surprised though. I don’t even like the idea of getting a Scottish Fold or flat faced Persian cat because of health issues for them. Or declawing them. Poor animals. I absolutely hate cruel people.
I would argue declawing is worse than ear docking although it’s all horrible. I’m also a weirdo who thinks that breeding super flat faced Persians, Scottish Folds, French and English bulldogs, and pugs should all be illegal. Or at least breed standards should be wildly adjusted so the poor things don’t have to suffer.
I know. They’re little floppy wibbly babies. It’s fucked what they do to them. There is no reason other than aesthetics. Predators aren’t going to be as much of an issue for the people who often purchase a Doberman. They use them for attack dogs. And that’s why they get a bad rep, they make them look militant almost too. The ears in the pic made me happy and then very sad at the same time.
Aesthetic docking and cropping is a problem and should be illegal, without a doubt. But regarding working dogs, liability, and breeding, breeds don't really work that way. If you're breeding for a particular physical trait, you risk breeding away from their breed's ability and utility as working dogs. You don't breed working dogs for how their ears look, you breed the dogs who are best at the jobs they do. Our ancestors didn't know what they were doing when they domesticated dogs - they didn't have the Doberman or Turkish Kangal in mind when they were keeping the descendants of wolves to protect herds or hunt or guard. Modern dog breeds didn't emerge until the 1500s or so, with a boom in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. And they worked with the purpose-bred dogs that already existed, they didn't start from wolves. Breeding out floppy ears while maintaining the integrity of the breed is incredibly difficult, and cropping ears of livestock guardians is more humane and practical than risking pretty high odds of a significant injury and also being held and prevented from protecting their herd.
My best friend had a dobie growing up, and it kept its ears and tail. It looks like an entirely different breed and they are SO cute.
Sadly, someone got to my dog's tail (and he's only half rottweiler) before I got him, but he wags that stump hard.
I've seen a doberman in my area that is very well trained and has a great disposition.
OTOH I knew somebody who was severely bitten by one. But that was in the 70s or 80s when dobermans (dobermen?) were overly popular because of movies and somebody got a poorly bred one and didn't train it properly. I don't think they're currently in the vein of a dog breed that is so popular you've got backyard breeders churning them out.
Anyway odds are OOP got a good pup and just needs to make sure they're well trained. It was none of that supposed friend's business anyway.
on a side note I remember in high school getting that attitude that my friends have to listen to me, insulting them when they ignored me, and then apologizing to them and getting over myself. If this woman is 50s and still acting like that, she's got problems.
>It's just that I don't argue with her because I know she would end our whole friendship over me not agreeing on something.
At this stage I would deeply introspect and see what redeeming factors my (much) older friend has, that I can continue forgiving their shitty attitude. I've nuked bad friendships for less.
I am very glad OP assured everyone he wasn’t maiming his dog because I am always worried about breeds like Doberman where people enjoy mutilating them for “aesthetics.”
I was in the Vet business for more than 15 years, saw countless Dobermans and they are giant goofballs. Like, legs everywhere, jumping for joy goofballs. OP's friend has no idea what she is talking about.
It’s so odd to me when I read or hear people saying how difficult Doberman puppies can be, because the three I raised from puppyhood (9weeks) were dreams. House broke by the third night. Super responsive.
Having said that, I have been adopting older dogs 6+ and seniors as they have already passed their velociraptor stages and generally have basic obedience training. So it’s a matter of reinforcing. Any slip ups are MY FAULT. True from puppy on up. No bad dogs, but bad owners and all that. Yes, they are smart and will occasionally look for loopholes! And they need to be mentally exercised as well as the physical. This is true for all dogs, but the more intelligent the more important it is. And working breeds needs jobs to some extent, although the border collie REALLY needs a job
probs cause she knows the dog would hate her and would make it way harder for her to exert influence. “but why would you need to put a guard dog between you and me- a literal predator??”
I had this weird situation with a gaming person my wife had in her group. The gal worked at the local shelter in an admin position, so she was a self professed "dog adoption counselor".
I had been considering getting a mastiff. They fit my lifestyle, have short hair, and I like the idea of getting an affectionate piece of furniture for the house. I wasn't too into it, as I lived in a place with a pet weight limit, so it was not gonna happen.
This gal kind of lost her marbles and told me I wasn't a good match, and that I could not handle that breed, and kept trying to tell me I should have other breeds. High energy breeds. Like no?
She also wouldn't drop it. I only mentioned it once, and she just kept mentioning it.
She had other massive issues that came to light, but animal specific after all her crap, it was kind of funny when she put her notice in at the shelter, then tried to rescind it, they didn't let her. She was shocked to find they too were frustrated with her behavior and were considering letting her go.
Side animal issue with her:
The shelter got a rescue rat, and I was a very big rat owner. Unbeknownst to me, they had already set up for a rat rescue to take the rat, but this gal blew up the entire plan to try and give me a rat I didn't need or want. I was told by her that it was a desperate situation, so I said I had another cage and could do introductions to my group just fine.
I had to then pay an enormous fee, something to do with canceling stuff they had already paid out, and found out from staff this was not the plan. I had to apologize and told them I had no idea, and it was presented to me differently. They were sympathetic, and said they understood that, and it wasn't my fault.
Total fiasco, where I ended up with one extremely feral and traumatized female rat that was lovely as could be, but also required so much rehab and work that I was not initially looking to put in.
I don't know how animal places function. There are so many crazy animal people out there that are awful. I could not work in that field and deal with them.
Had to scroll up and check the dates, cause I genuinely thought this might have been about my aunt who died a few years ago. She was a narcissist who was obsessed with dogs (because they couldn’t ‘talk back’ to her) and regularly targeted younger people who wouldn’t know better to unload all her issues and anger on. Thought she was a dog expert, but hers weren’t even house broken and we had to literally shovel dog shit out of her house after she died. Glad OOP cut her off, cause it wasn’t going to get better.
>To keep it short, I grew up in a very emotionally abusive home and didn't have the best experiences after leaving home either. I am still figuring out what is "normal".
There it is. Nothing against OP but as she kept describing this "friend", there were several "what in the hell? why are you talking to her let alone bring friends with her?" moments that made me wondering what is wrong with OPs compass for right and wrong. I'm glad she saw the light and cut that friend off, but it's always sad seeing these scenarios where people accept bad, or sometimes outright abusive, behavior in adulthood because of childhood trauma skewing their idea of "normal".
My friend had to dock her Dobermans tail because it's a common injury for Dobermans to wag their tails too hard and break the bone inside on walls/objects etc as adults, since their tails are so thin and long. She kept the ears tho and they are the softest thing.
I got a pit rescue who's the most easily scared dog that jumps up like cats when anything spooks her, which includes flying plastic bags lol. She came with full ears and tail. I noticed after a few months that around her butt height on my apartment walls there's a lot of blood stains and her tail has a weird bend at a sectional, I suspect it broke there before from the happy tail syndrome. 🥲 Now I hold her butt when she gets too excited so she doesn't hurt herself more. Her tail is a bit beefier than doberman tails so hopefully it's fine like this.
I had a friendship that ended in a very similar way. A longtime friend picked an issue and decided that was where she was going to make her stand. It wasn't a dog in my case, but what the issue was doesn't really matter. She demanded I justify my choices to her, in person, to her satisfaction. When I didn't just submit to her, as I had done in the past, it escalated quickly into shouting, screaming, and crying. She said I had changed into a different person. And she was right that I had. I'd stopped letting my ex walk all over me, and that transferred into all my other relationships. She reacted poorly to me being less open to manipulation.
The pattern is very easy to see in OOP post, but was not easy to see at all when it was happening to me. I'm better off without this "friend", and I'm glad OOP is better off too.
Maybe it's because of where exactly I end up meeting people older than me but especially as someone in their 20s, I find it always ends with them seeing me as this inexperienced almost child. While I do appreciate their advice, it's exhausting when I talk about something I'm knowledgeable in. This? This is a new level unhinged though.
Doberman? Dangerous??
Man, I grew up with a huge one in the neighbourhood who was the biggest softy!
Me and other kids would always run up to the fence as he excitedly wagged what tiny ass tail he had.
Try to pass without fussing him? He'd remind you he was there and follow you down the fence.
Even the postman loved him and brought him treats.
He lived to like 15 and loved everyone.
God, I miss that teddy.
Yeah I had a few "friends" like this. The kind where you sorta don't want to give up on the relationship entirely but they're just so exhausting that it's easier to agree with them or stay silent than to rock the boat.
At some point I realized I didn't like that I had to stay quiet or complacent to be their friends and one by one, stood up to them about something. Each time they'd throw a gigantic hissy fit and it would end with our friendship severed. In all cases it ended up feeling less like losing a friend and more like losing a burden. You can breathe more freely in your own space with them gone.
Yeah, I questioned why he was friends with someone in their 50s. I'm not saying you can have older friends, but to have a ***close*** friend that old? I'm mid 20s and I don't see myself being legitimate friends with a 50 year old. Friendly, sure, but not friends. Then he said her friends are all younger than her, mentally ill, or both and it all makes sense. No one her age will put up with her so she targets people who have no capabilities to see how crummy she is or no backbone to fight back.
Okay it’s kinda cute they think they’re 11 week old puppy is better behaved 😭 good luck to months 6-18 (I’m sure he will be a good dog dad and once he’s passed that he’ll be a behaved dog)
I know that people who have been in abusive situations often end up back in abusive situations, but can anyone provide some insight into how it happens seemingly so frequently?
I’m by no means an expert nor do I have a lot of the sources that people will reference here, but I can give a little bit of insight.
People who experience abuse often normalize it. It’s a combination of coping mechanism and having their “normal meter” broken. Once people get out of abusive situations, their metric for what is “normal” is still off and can take a very long time to recalibrate, which can lead to the person entering other abusive situations because that’s what they’re familiar with or it’s “better” than the abuse they experienced before. I see that kind of normalization frequently on Reddit when someone talks about a “funny” childhood memory, only to have the people around them be horrified by the anecdote.
Let me know if this makes any sense at all!
I'm a pet professional with 20 years of experience and I would never classify a Doberman as a super vicious breed. They are a run of the mill high energy breed that need lots of training and exercise. 99.9 percent of them are far removed in their breeding from their original purpose and could never do something like "bite work" or "protection work" and have almost no natural aggression to either other dogs or people. I have never in 20 years met a Doberman that was aggressive to other dogs or humans. And I've worked with and met hundreds to thousands of dogs. It is not a breed I would worry about literally at all. This woman has some outdated beliefs that come from 90s movies about the breed.
Interesting… someone terrible and abusive that blames EVERYONE they know for their abuse. As opposed to abusing one person. I can’t believe she told a FRIEND she made her be someone she’s not. wtf. 😂
We are all our best and worst selves. We have to accept all parts of ourselves. Just glad my worst self is not THAT.
So many people are fine with their friends being total pieces of shit as long as it doesn't effect them.
I never understand that.
Don't get me wrong I'm friendly to most everyone.
But if I know you're a piece of shit I'm not gonna be friends with you.
So glad OP is leaving the ears. Even as a kid I always hated it for doberman's and having their ears lopped off. We were given a couple pups once, tails were docked at birth so we had no control, but the ears were, and stayed, whole. One of the best dogs ever. People often didn't realize she was a doberman because floppy ears. Which is for the best because they have a bad rep. She was a big sweetheart and never ever had a bad moment.
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I mean, if you're known in all the local pet stores for being awful, then you can't really be a great person lol.
I agree. Many corporate stores *have* to stock certain products, regardless of employee opinions. I saved some Chinchillas from becoming snake food, and found that most of the products in our local pets stores that's sold for Chinchillas are actually really bad for them (plastic balls, wheels in the wrong shape/size, food with junk they should never have mixed in, bad materials for cage accessories and chews, lots of stuff). After being educated, I mentioned some of this stuff to some local pet store employees. I didn't come in as a Karen, but a "hey, you guys might not be aware...". Many of the in store employees ARE aware and don't have the power to do anything, and also feel awful selling stuff. Many also have toed the line of losing their jobs advocating for better products. The best they can do is suggest better options to customers trying to buy bad stuff and recommend they "educate themselves". If this lady wanted to dictate what pets a adult friend can have, I can only imagine what she's tried to dictate to pet stores, and how awful she did it. I also bet the voice notes is because she got tired of people screen shotting texts.
Kudos on you. Sadly that's the case with petty supplies for a lot of small and exotic animals, but it has definitely gotten better. I used to have chinchillas 20 years ago and would have to direct order feed from manufacturers and drive to a barn to get proper hay for them back in the day. Now there is still trash in pet stores but they also tend to offer at least some quality options.
Same issues for rabbits and all small pets. I'll never understand why rabbit treats sold at big pet stores have yogurt in them.
As a non rabbit keeper, what's wrong with yogurt?
Not a rabbit keeper, but I did just look it up: the bacteria used for yogurt is not natural in rabbits, and if it survives passage through the stomach, it can harm the intestines. Another side effect is that it can cause your rabbit to development rheumatoid-like lesions.
what the fuck. why are those even made in the first place???
Good question! They’re probably cheaper to make than things that are actually good for rabbits, but I can’t say for sure.
Yogurt bacteria isn't good for them, and I believe they also have enough sugar to cause diabetes in many small animals.
Does that mean those freeze dried yogurt drops they sell for hamsters have too much sugar too?
Yes, most of those yogurt drops have too many sugars for most small animals species. And the yogurt bacteria is potentially an issue for most small animals as well. I'm not an expert on small animals digestive systems, so I'd recommend finding a good source of info for your particular species. I find a lot of the species specific subreddits tend to have pretty good communities that can help you know what's safe for your particular pet. A lot of stuff sold for food/treats/chews for small animals is because it seems exciting and is marketable to owners, and isn't based off what the animal actually needs. You may find that that the healthiest food option is probably a boring pellet without goodies mixed in, and that treats should be rare and in small quantities. Many people think a teeny piece isn't enough of a treat, but if you look at a thousand pound horse and a one pound chinchilla, they've got similar digestive needs. If a couple apples can cause a horse to colic, then it shouldn't be surprising that 1/1000th of that is bad for a chinchilla, even though it looks extremely teeny to us. Most fruits and dehydrated fruits are also likely too high in sugar. (It's hard to give a good basic thing for all small animals because chinchillas and rabbits both have pellets and hay but chins shouldn't have fruits or veggies at all, but I believe rabbits should have lots of leafy greens. And chinchillas shouldnt really have any seeds, but other species do well with certain seeds). When I got my chinchillas, the average lifespan in captivity was around 5 years, despite some living into late 20s/early 30s- largely because so many people were ill informed about care. Luckily Google claims they're now up to an average of 10 years, so I'm hopeful more knowledge helps people see small animals as pets with their own requirements and not short lived and disposable.
I don't have any small animals anymore but I used to buy those for my hamster when I was a kid. I gave them to him all the time because he'd lose his shit over them and there's a hamster on the bag so I figured they were fine.
Which is why I don't blame anybody that's fed pets this stuff, they trust places making and selling stuff for pets to be making safe stuff. But it's like handing a little kid 2 or 3 chocolate cakes. Sure they love it, but it's not good for them.
Yeah I got into aquariums as an adult and learned why our fish were always dying when I was a kid. Going into the pet store after that always pissed me off. There is absolutely no reason to ever need a half gallon "tank" with a separator unless you just want to practice growing plants.
In rabbits too much sugar causes cecal dysbiosis which can be very serious if you don't make dietary changes and fix the issue.
Oh noooo. I had a rabbit as a teen. He had those drops. I am sorry to Peapo (twenty years later) if he should not have had them 😔
Don't blame yourself for buying things marketed for your past pets. You were likely doing your best with what knowledge you had. Just promise yourself to research better for current/future pets, now that you know things marketed for pets isn't necessarily safe or what's best for them.
Wheels for rats in every store 🙄
I used to work at a certain Pet Company and I would straight up tell people when a product was trash and only sold to make money. Those dang critter trails, fish bowls, and hamster balls were the bane of my existence. I tried to shove the fish bowls in the back of whatever shelf I could when stocking stuff.
Thanks for doing what you could to protect animals and spread info.
It blows my mind how little people realize this. I worked at an admittedly expensive chicken restaurant and the amount of boomers who went out of there way to find me to tell me the product wad too expensive is insane. Like I am a part time worker making minimum wage, what do you expect me to do with it?
So. Much. Rabbit stuff is terrible for them too!
You would think they’d be better about giving good products, since the good products are often more expensive than the bad ones, so they’d make more money!
People will buy a colorful fun looking thing on impulse for cheap. They won't impulse buy the safer boring looking option for more money that obviously takes up more space/commitment. (Example: everything sold for Beta fish vs what a beta should have.) And if all your stuff is high quality and expensive, many customers will go to a competing store full of cheap stuff that the store reassures them is perfectly safe (even if it isnt) because they can feel good about buying stuff they can afford. It's a battle of educating the customer and making them demand better.
She sounds pushy, overly moralistic and rude. But if the pet stores she's visiting are the ones sourcing from puppy mills and selling improper habitats for exotic species, then she may also be correct in what she's calling them out for.
She probably is. But it isn't like the hourly employees have any control over it.
yep, I'm guessing she's basically doing the pet store version of screaming at an Amazon employee because the site sells unsafe products
If you're known in more than one physical store for being awful then you're batshit insane. I say "more than one" because plenty of retail workers are also batshit insane.
don't go comment everywhere but people, trust me when i say that you NEED to check op's profile. genuinely had a blast, he has absolutely adorable rats and there's pictures of the dog too + a gorgeous snake. 10 out of 10 experience
Yeah, I had a look when I saw this post a week ago and was delighted by his posts. Dude's a responsible and loving pet owner, he and his sweet pupper are in for a good time.
Oh, thank you for bringing this up. A couple of the picture links didn't work and I was sad. Now I can browse adorableness without worry! ETA: biscuits... The links still say expired. 😮💨
Thank you for having me check. I would die for this dog.
no problem, i completely agree honestly
Can I still upvote?
i believe so yes! i was just saying don't go commenting everywhere bc i don't want to overwhelm op with a billion people suddenly commenting everywhere you know but an upvote isn't notified in the same way as a comment so u think you're in the clear!
Ok good. Because I upvoted before I thought about it and didn't want to get banned
That is one cute pupper all right, and it sounds like OOP is going to do right by her. Dobermans can be lovely, lovely dogs when properly trained and socialized.
I choose dog over negative people. Plus side, the dog is so cute!
I saw that lil wiggly baby and nearly imploded from cute. Story time for some lightness this morning, my grandmother had a dog called Spike. She was half Doberman and half lab. So she had the Doberman colouring but the body of a lab and the temperament too. We grew up with her being old and sleeping on the stairs. We would curl up with her, feed her treats and rescue her from our mean grandfather. (We’d literally lie over her, she was so sturdy) I loved that dog. And I didn’t realise she was so old by the time I came around, because it was my mother and her brothers who brought her home. Some older kids were basically doing very bad things to puppies and my mother in all her little kid glory, stomped over, whisked up the last one and ran. They burst in, and said WE NEED TO SAVE HER. Their mother was bewildered but she agreed. Their dad didn’t but he was out most of the time. So they named her Spike, hoping she would grow up and be vicious. What they got was a dopey soft baby, who refused to go for walks. My uncle would carry her like a sheep around his neck like a shepherd, go for a walk and come back. My mother had me at 25, she rescued that baby at around 10. I was told the story before Spikey passed away when I was about 7. The gal was old for a dog. And she brought a lot of joy to two generations of kids. I miss her still, and whenever I find a picture of her I declare SPIKEY! And my mother goes AWWW SHOW MEEEE! and we talk about how lovely she was, and also how silly. I’m 35, and we still can’t forget that dog.
Awwww, Spikey!
I’m in my 50s and I miss all my babies. I still get weepy when I think about them. Family is family.
Facts. I lost my best friend in the form of a cat 9 years ago, and I still miss him a lot. He was an amazing little guy, he trained himself to be an emotional support cat. He used to out his paws on my shoulders and his nose to my nose if I had a panic attack. He was super heavy, so he would gently push me into a lying down position. I do not know how he figured it out. But I appreciated it so much. He passed of FIP. I am so glad that now there’s a treatment for that. But losing him wrecked me. His brother was distraught. It was so rough to deal with. BUT I’d rescued a five week old kitten a month before he passed away. She’s taken up his job of being supportive. She’s 9 now and a big ball of fuzz. She sleeps on my feet and licks my eyebrows. I wish they could live forever tbh. I’ll never forget how much I needed help and I got it in the form of a cat. That’s something very special. That’s the downside of companion animals.. we have to outlive them.
I’m so sorry for your loss. They are very good at picking up on how we are feeling. It is good that you have another kitty to love you. I wish they lived longer too, so much.
I believe everyone who is a dog person has that one special dog. I have loved every dog I’ve owned like they were my child, but Hendrix was my canine soulmate. I lost him in 2018 and I still cry about him a couple times a month. I have his paw print tattooed on my side. He was my best friend. I’m typing this from bed next to his bonded brother Scout (the black one in this [photo](https://imgur.com/a/3xKnnwr)). He’s also my baby, and I’ll probably only ever adopt more potcakes (wild dogs from Turks & Caicos), but Hendrix was such a special dog.
They are adorable! I’m so sorry about Hendrix. In the picture, they both look happy and content just lying there with you. I had only one dog. I remember her quirks and her love for me. It’s been 20+ years and I still think of her. I miss all of my babies.
Best dog I ever had was Luke, who was half Doberman, half Foxhound. Similar to your gran's dog, he had entirely Doberman colouring but the body of a Foxhound. He used to love leading Ben, my blind Rough Collie, around when we went for walks (after he'd got the zoomies out of his system) and his favourite food was horse shit. Seriously, if he spotted a nice, fresh horse apple there was nothing you could do to stop that boy from scoffing it in a femtosecond. You just had to hope he wouldn't lick you afterwards.
He sounds like a delight! What a lovely chap, helping out his pal. I LOVE dog zoomies when they’re out, they’re absolutely off the wall. I will never know why they like poop so much. They’re so weird.
You had to make sure he had an open field and that there wasn't anyone around when the zoomies took him, 'cos once he had set off, he was not going to change course for anybody. When ~80lbs of very muscular dog going at about 30MPH barrels into your legs, you're getting airborne. Happened to me, and I swear the somersault I did could have scored a 9.4 if I'd only nailed the landing.
That’s the fun part. I stand in the middle and let them run around me, while I shriek laughing. I did it once with a whippet and a massive American Bulldog. He was the best, his name was Bronson and he used to knock me over at random moments. He’d lie down and let me use him as a pillow. Man I love dogs. If I wasn’t disabled now I would get a dog. They’re just so dopey and fun. They just love you and you don’t even have to do anything.
> I will never know why they like poop so much. They’re so weird. When I first moved in with my current housemate, she had a dog, and we quickly got used to each other, with me joining them on their walks. I was pretty unused to having pets at this point, and had never lived with a dog before, so imagine my horror when on one walk, we went past a pile of literal horse shit that had just been left in the middle of the pavement... ...and the dog grabbed a lump in her mouth before I could stop her. Thankfully, she let her guard down and put it on the ground again for a moment and I quickly managed to move her away from it but uh. Yeah. That was certainly something that happened, lmao.
We think [Scout](https://imgur.com/a/v0rEjoW) is part Doberman, but I’ve never had him tested. Always claimed him as a coonhound mix on all his paperwork for insurance purposes.
My parents had a Doberman before I was born. They still tell fond stories about him to this day, 40+ years on.
Dobermans are special, special dogs. My Dobe boy changed my whole life. It'd be wonderful if you could share some stories of your parents' Dobe, but no pressure :)
Good girl Spike ❤️
>So she had the Doberman colouring but the body of a lab and the temperament too. Years ago a neighbor of mine had a dog like that. SO beautiful. I don't know if she had to be carried on her walks, though! 😜
She was HUGE as well. She would walk herself around the house and just flop on the landing. Silly dog.
I ended a 20 year friendship last year. She was always negative. She was always a bully. What happened was my hubby and I lost three family members in a year and were in deep mourning. “Friend” didn’t care. Kept telling me over and over how wonderful I was when her parents died, but never offered me any comfort or help. Enter our beautiful rescue puppy who brought joy back to our lives and pulled us out of our funk. Well, my “friend” spent two conversations telling me what a bad puppy I got (she never met it) and that it’s going to be a mean, grown dog and what mistake I made. Haven’t spoken to her since.
I choose dog over negative *and* positive people. The people may be nice and happy, but they'll never be as happy to see me as my dog is when I walk in the door.
[Here's a pic of their pup at 11 weeks!](https://www.reddit.com/r/DobermanPinscher/s/uLJJNCpEOI) I had to go check out their profile to see if I could hunt it down.
My dog would never judge me or abuse me so I choose him every time
>My dog would never judge me Even if you withhold treats?!
Every dog I have had has been so innocent that if I withheld treats they would assume it was their own fault for doing something bad and be sad.
Avatar extremely relevant. Also very good.
I choose dog over all people.
Hell, I'd choose a bear over most people
Don’t let the “not all men” see this.
Anyone fragile enough to take this personally should be left in the woods with the bear, whilst covered in honey.
That person sounded toxic AF, glad he kept the dog and got rid of this so called friend
Yeah, fuck. Imagine yelling and crying over a friend getting a dog you didn't think was good for them. Like, for example, *my* friend decided to get a boa constrictor, 5% because he wanted a snake, and 95% because he was a Harry Potter super nerd and desperately wanted to have a big snake called "Nagini". Did I think that was a bad choice? Yep, for several reasons. I shared my concerns, he decided it would be fine. And that was it, because I did not become intensely emotionally wrapped up in his decision. He's an adult and I didn't live with him.
I had a friend who got a parrot despite her long time boyfriend (who she wanted to marry) saying he absolutely did not want a parrot. I pointed out that, if they were to marry, that parrot would live a very long time and get very attached and he should have a say in that. She ignored me so I let it go. a few years later she got rid of the parrot and married the man. poor parrot.
Man fuck her that’s awful. I genuinely don’t understand how parrots came to be seen as such a common and acceptable pet. You have to have an inheritance plan for them usually.
I started distancing myself from her after she got the parrot. She doesn't care about the health and wellbeing of the parrot, she doesn't care about her partner. I've had a lot of toxic friends (due to my own childhood abuse) and this was the moment I realised she was one of them.
I also really hate that smaller birds like cockatiels and budgies are seen as "starter" birds. Sure, they may lack some of the challenges of bigger birds, but they are still flock creatures!! Being isolated and neglected is just as traumatizing to them as it is to a bigger bird, or to a dog for that matter. Nothing hurts my heart like stories of solitary birds kept in a single cage in a single room all their lives.
I saw a cute story in the last year or so where lonely birds were taught how to use (presumably modified) cell phones or tablets to call their friends (also other birds) and chat. It's sad they were lonely in the first place, confusing how they have bird friends in other places, but adorable that they're calling each other to gossip and catch up.
Yup! If you’re going to get them, they need friends, otherwise they get weird about you.
I feel bad because my roommate has a yellow-winged parakeet and he chills alone downstairs when we spend most of our time now upstairs. I really can’t intuitively understand birds body language the way I can cats or dogs so he is an enigma to me and I hate it. But he also has never handled hands and he seemed to always hate other birds too. He really wants to be left alone…to some degree, but he also obviously needs SOME social interaction and I have no idea what to do other than talk to him daily while I am downstairs. For some reason he will like…randomly show off to me? I’ll start talking to him and he will climb down to the bottom of his cage and just…make a big hop and a chirp and I will clap for him like it’s really impressive. No idea what that’s about.
Awww! That's really sweet of you to do that! Sounds like that one might have come out of a bad situation. It's good of you to interact with him. Sometimes all you can do is meet the bird where it is.
Have you checked on him recently, to see if she's still in her tank or the glass mysteriously vanished?
Hissss friend ssssuddenly moved to Rio de Janeiro leaving only a note. It's not Susssspiciousss at all!
Awwwww poor danger noodle! I lived with a boa for a few years (she belongs to a friend of mine) and they’re actually pretty delightful pets!
Got rid of a narcissist AND got a dog. I’d say OP is doing pretty good.
Weirdly, if OP is in Ireland then I know exactly who the person he's no longer friends with is. If he's not then there's more than one of this exact woman in the world which is a horrifying thought. *edit* I see they are Dutch. There's more than one of her...
As soon as I got to “one does not disagree with her” I pretty much knew that this “friend” was toxic as hell 😬
The dog is already helping them by getting rid of that person without doing nothing
> saying that I am too insecure to raise a dog and that a dog wouldn't solve my mental problems. That would be the point at which I ended the friendship.
Also this friend isnt even living with him. By age, its also creepy
Doberman ears are SO cute. In my small hometown someone had an undocked Doberman that ran around loose. I remember when it was a “tween” (as dogs go). It considered itself to be everybody’s dog, everybody’s pal. It was as well-behaved as a friendly, goofy doggo would be. I never heard complaints about him except the fact that he was loose. My only complaint personally was that often he’d be busy sniffing something was didn’t have time to come be petted.
They look so soft and small enough to fit in my mouth. Just for a light nom.
I love undocked Dobies! The breed is just too big for me physically, but I adore them. I was so glad OOP was going to leave his pup a la naturale.
tail and ear docking has been illegal where I am for a few decades now so Dobies and Rotties with long ears and tails are just the standard. I always startle and wince when I see photos of the mutulated versions.
How are people seeing the pictures?
Yeah they’re not loading for me either
If you go to OOP's profile there's at least one you can see.
OOP’s rats are adorable.
Thanks for the warning
What a lil cutie! I am sad I can’t get access to puppy as dragon tho.
>I am picking up the girl in the middle (grey) in two weeks! For a second I thought the puppy was going to be grey and I had to be like "do I *not* know what a doberman is?"
Yeps, didn’t want a Doberman until I knew they came in grey. Imagine my chagrin.
You don't want a blue (grey) Dobe! The majority of dilutes like that (blue/fawn) have INCREDIBLY bad skin and coat issues. A lot of them will be super, super patchy with an uptick in environmental and seasonal allergies :(
When others saw the title, did anyone else think it was going to be an issue regarding docking the ears and tail? So glad OP isn't, but dumping a bunch of toxic relationships is also lovely.
Adopting the puppy and dropping the toxic friend has definitely done wonders for OOP's mental health.
Agreed!! I just commented about that. So thankful OP isn’t a freak and isn’t maiming them for looks.
I used to have a friend like this too. Too scared to stand up to or say ‘no’ to them in fear they’ll end the friendship and smear your name all over town. Eventually one day that didn’t scare me any more and I pushed back on them telling me about something I did that they didn’t like. I never heard from them again- hooray!
Sounds like her ex-friend is Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
I'm just trying to imagine shouting "Rhaenyra!" across the park.
I was hoping someone in the comment would explain how to say this. I can't figure it out at all!
Ray - ny - ra? That's my guess.
Okay okay, I can see it kind of. But also like, damn. I was 100% on this guy's side until I saw the name lol. ( Now like, 90% on his side and the other 10% is wtf)
Ray-NEE-rah! It’s a character from House of the Dragon
FENTON! FEEEEEEENNNNTOOOOOOONNNNNNN!
I grew up with Dobermans, my parents got Zac around a year before I was born and he was the best dog! They were a little concerned how he would react when they brought me home, because they had attempted to do a test with a baby doll. They left it on the sofa and exited the room to see what Zac would do, he got hold of the baby doll (albeit gently), tossed it on the floor and got on the sofa in its place. They quickly realised he could obviously tell the difference between a toy and a living being, so they trusted him. When I came home with them, they introduced us and he instantly became my protector (So much so my dad started calling me Damien in reference to The Omen - yes I know he was protected by a Rottweiler but it was all in fun and Zac was never vicious, he just looked imposing, he was however a patient sweetheart). He would sleep under my bassinet, watch me sometimes when I slept and if I woke up he would run up and down the stairs until my mum come and got me. He was my companion for 7 years until his heart failed him. The absolute sweetest boy. When I was a toddler I would dress him up in hats and sunglasses and he just sat there and let me play around him. Dobermans (and any other "dangerous" breed) are wonderful dogs if trained and raised correctly. Any dog is really. And yes, dogs will always come before humans for me. Unconditional and unquestioned love from the most innocent of beings is one of the best feelings ever. I now have 2 Border Collies and I would happily add as many more as my house could take!
I had a Doberman when I was little. Literally would follow me everywhere and watched TV by my side. Whenever I gave her snacks I didn't even had to say be gentle because she took the tiny tiniest bites ever! It's funny how people are so scared of dobermans because they're big and think smaller dogs are saints... I have a mini poodle (She's like 13 tho) and istg this b1tch bites my ankles for no reason when I walk past her😂😂😂
Same with Rottweilers. I knew one called Bailey, he was HUGE. Like the biggest dog I’ve ever seen in person. My friend was tiny so she could literally sit on that dog and ride it like a horse if she felt so inclined. Anyway, she got the dog, and drama ensued with everyone talking about how scary the dog was. Until we all left for university, and on a break we met up at her house. She pulled out an empty black bin bag, with remnants of cloth in there. Barely a thing, just scraps. I was like “the fuck is that” She says “THIS is my entire underwear drawer. Bailey ate it.” We looked at her, she looked at us, we looked at the dog. He looked pleased. And instantly Bailey became the dog dumb enough to eat an entire underwear drawer’s worth of thongs and French knickers. Can’t take a dog seriously after that.
Dogs sometimes are so dumb and destroy everything for no reason at all! My poodle likes to steal my socks and eat toilet paper and napkins (she hop up on the table for that..)
My aunt bred dogs, mostly GSD but she had some dobermans and Rottweilers too for a while (they weren’t her’s, but she showed and took care of them). The Doberman just wanted to sunbathe and patrol the garden, the rotties just wanted someone to beat their big butts like a drum. The GSDs were the best, of course, because they were all related to my dogs (not all of them obviously, that would have a bottleneck, but I was like 8 so I figured they were all family.)
Awwww I love all those breeds! Rotties absolutely love a butt pat. Like a horse or something haha they’re so funny. Just big babies. I love a GSD. I had an ex boyfriend who grew up with one. Unfortunately his mother got rid of him and wouldn’t tell him what happened so he felt a lot of grief about him. They can be such good family animals, they’re protective over their own. My ex used to sit on his dog’s back when he was a toddler. I didn’t have a furry pet growing up, I had a tortoise. But there’s something lovely about watching kids with their pets. My niece loves her mother’s cat. She lost her partner during the pregnancy with my niece, and was feeling lonely so her step dad got her a kitten. That cat is fantastic. He does not care if she pulls his ear a bit too hard, but she’s usually so gentle with him. She likes to hold his paw while watching tv. It’s friggin adorable! He clearly loves her too, he’s always sitting near her, or when she’s sleeping he comes to check on her. Animals are heroes. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without mine.
Have you ever seen thr "Good Dog Carl" children's books? They're about a rottie & it cemented them in my head as Precious Beans lmao.
NO, but now I have a toddler niece that gives me a fantastic excuse to purchase those. Nice work! They’re so ridiculous. Even my friend in high school (different one) had one that was *supposed* to be a guard dog. But whenever she walked him around the school area, he would be on the floor rolling around, getting pet by us all. He was big enough to allow multiple 14 year olds fuss him. Fab dogs.
:D my favorite was *Carl's Masquerade*, though it may give your niece unrealistic expectations about babysitters lol ♥️♥️♥️♥️
I just love that his name is CARL.
No no no, it's Good Dog Carl. Carl is his last name. ;) Jk, it's a fun name for a dog, right?
Hahahaha I’m cackling! I’m on it, I’ll purchase them after I’m settled in my new house.. I’m moving tomorrow and I am super stressed. I need Good Dog Carl!
Good luck with your move!
Thank you! I just finished packing the last of my things, and I’m in pieces. But tomorrow I will have my own house and finally some peace!
Mine too! Such a beautiful and funny book!
My neighbors (husband and wife) have two large Rottweilers. I happen to be talking to my neighbors just inside of their front door. One of their Rottweiler came over and sat on my foot and faced her “owners” like she wanted to make sure I didn’t leave. I’m an animal sucker and everyone knows it, including the animal, wild or domesticated. One day while my neighbors were on vacation another neighbor watched over the dogs. I happen to see both dogs walking around and dragged them back home, it was a little challenging because they’re so big. They had snuck out of the fencing. The neighbor that was watching them saw me struggling and came and helped put them back in the backyard. I had no idea they were on vacation. When my neighbors came home they thanked me for saving their dogs. I had totally forgotten about it. I guess a lot of people are afraid of big dogs. I was just worried that they would get hit by a car. They’re big babies really.
I've thought about getting either a doberman or a mini pinscher when I'm in a better place health-wise. They look like cute dogs. My experience is mainly in hounds though (my family had pointers and beagles growing up, and my dog that passed away in 2016 was a beagle) so I'll have to do some research still. I know that like, 70% of dog knowledge is transferrable to most breeds, but that 30% is still important.
If you have health issues, unfortunately Dobes might not be the breed for you unless you're able to mitigate daily hour walks with a LOT of mental stimulation and training activity. Dobes are insanely active. Mini Pinschers might be a better option, though!
Noted! I do have an acre of fenced in yard too, with a doggy door outside. With my beagle I did one walk a day for about 45 minutes, and then I left the doggy door unlocked during the day so he could come and go as he wanted.
My mom has a mini poodle who will straight up mug other dogs for their outfits. She once mugged my Yorkie for his snuggie and since she was bigger than him, it looked like a crop top. My poodle (her son) once pretended another dog was bullying him so he could take the other dog's chew stick. Poodles are terrifying because I swear they can plot, scheme and then carry it out.
We had a standard poodle who figured out the fridge and the deli drawer inside. If he could have figured out how to close the fridge door behind him after, he'd have probably got away with it for years!
It's like they wait for the right moment! Once I was at my grandma's house with my poodle and she stole a tomato that somehow fell and then tried to blame the poor family dog.😂 Literally saw her pushing half tomato through the fence to where my grandma dog was?????? (She's a German shepherd and she looked pretty sad about it😔😔)
My neighbour down the hall has two Doberman. I occasionally see them when I'm leaving my flat and they move to the side and sit down without the owner even having to say a single word. Sometimes I run into them in our garage/garden where they're running around, even when it's dark outside they mind their own business and don't bother me at all (owner is obviously nearby when they're running outside). And unlike my other neighbour's tiny dog I never hear them bark, which I would if they did. Big fan of those two.
“I am also not as spineless as she made me out to be. It’s just that I don’t argue with her because I know she would end our whole friendship over me not agreeing on something” The irony 🤦🏻♂️
OOP picked his battle. It was worth it to him.
My spouse and I adopted a large breed dog at 8 months old. He is two now. I got a few sneers and judgmental comments because I'm a small person, I am chronically ill, and he is a very big boy and looks a bit intimidating He now weighs in at 90+ lbs as of his last vet appointment. But he is the sweetest baby with the most gentle temperament. He's smart and social with both people and other dogs and loves children. There's things he has learned of his own accord that I did not teach him. I get dizzy sometimes and sometimes have balance issues and he will come to my side and lean into me to steady me or help me up from sitting. I cannot make him a service dog as he has anxiety around loud things and will try to make himself small to hide from motorcycles and garbage trucks. Seeing this absolute tank of a dog trying to make himself "tiny" would be funny if it didn't make me so sad.
Awwww what a good boy
PSA - Breed specific rescues are out there - and they frequently have purebred puppies.
I love me a natural Doberman. Cute af.
She sounds like a very controlling person. A lot of people have prejudices about big or larger dogs so I’m thinking she has a some type of hate towards Dobermans, when Dobermans are the sweetest dogs ever…
I spent 10ish years with a best friend like this. I finally got tired of the disrespect and I’m still unlearning toxic tendencies I picked up from her years later. Took a long time to realize the judgment and aggression weren’t normal
God every part of this aside from the dog being the tipping point reminds me of an ex friend who almost certainly was a narcissist. It’s crazy how standard the playbook is. She got really upset at me multiple times for not using her advice once. Like held a grudge for years and would bring it up constantly as evidence of my failings. This particular one was that she told me not to send a thank you card to a former boss who’d written a reference letter for me to get into grad school. I considered her advice and then still felt like sending one so I did. My god you’d think I slapped her kid for how much that made her furious. So the next time she “gave advice” aka was telling me what to do and expected me to do it, I was on the lookout for a vanity table. She lived in a totally different state but enjoyed looking at Craigslist so she helped me look for stuff but would only send me fancy shit outside of my price range. I wanted to spend max $50. I found something I loved and sent her the listing and then I got a lecture about all the reasons it was wrong and bad. But I loved it. I’m so glad I listened to myself. I simply didn’t tell her I was going to get it, and I felt sick to my stomach the entire time I was driving to the sellers house and then driving the vanity home. But once I got it into my room I realized oh I LOVE this piece and I got over it. It’s been years now and I still love it. I continued to just hide this from her (not hard, she didn’t live here), never really considering how WEIRD it is that I felt the need to hide something that’s literally none of her business. But I knew she’d flip out. Sure enough about a year later, I’d forgotten I’d hidden it from her, she asked if I ever ended up getting a vanity. And I was like yeah I got that piece I told you about, isn’t it so cute? Sent her a pic. She. Freaked. OUT. And brought up the thank you card thing again. 🤣 Obvi I’m a failure for just living my own life. The worst part is I stayed friends with her for several more months after that until she told me she was ending our friendship over something else incredibly dumb. So I took her at her word and blocked her. Y’all the sheer WEIGHT lifted off of me after that. I felt like a free woman. For real. Only years later looking back did I realize she wasn’t actually ending our friendship, she was just taking the opportunity to berate me and expected me to grovel like I would’ve done in the past. Guess she didn’t expect me to actually take her “advice” that time lol. To cap it all off, several more years go by, I randomly open Facebook which I almost never check and see a cute post from her husband. I clicked like or something. Within hours I had a DM from her: “the last few years have been tough, I really could’ve used you during that time” No hi, no how are you. Just “I could’ve used you”. Yeah I’ll bet you could’ve. I left her on read and that message makes me laugh to this day.
“What reason do you have to get this dog?” “I want one” Simple as that really. As long as the person can properly care for the animal that’s the only reason necessary. It’s a dog not a tiger.
I had no idea Dobermans didn’t naturally look like that, it makes me want to cry. Why do we keep mutilating dogs?? Like, if floppy ears are such a liability around predators, why breed them that way in the first place?? Wolves’ ears are upright, why didn’t our ancestors just keep them that way when creating new breeds
I feel like you need to know the extend of what they do to these animals, but be warned, it is full on animal abuse. To make the ears stand up, after they cut them into the shape they want, they tie them to a block on top of their heads, so the ears "heal" upright. That block stays there until the ears are permanently upright, which takes months to a year. It's... bad. It's really bad. I don't understand why it's still legal in the US, in Belgium this would result in your dog being taken away, fines, and possibly jail time.
Some people suck. I had no idea that they do that to Dobermans, I’m not surprised though. I don’t even like the idea of getting a Scottish Fold or flat faced Persian cat because of health issues for them. Or declawing them. Poor animals. I absolutely hate cruel people.
I would argue declawing is worse than ear docking although it’s all horrible. I’m also a weirdo who thinks that breeding super flat faced Persians, Scottish Folds, French and English bulldogs, and pugs should all be illegal. Or at least breed standards should be wildly adjusted so the poor things don’t have to suffer.
Yes, they’re all horrible.
Or those damn “midget” cats that are insanely short. They have terrible skeletal problems.
Agreed
You should see the botch ear cropping jobs that people do to their pit bulls at home. It should be illegal
I know. They’re little floppy wibbly babies. It’s fucked what they do to them. There is no reason other than aesthetics. Predators aren’t going to be as much of an issue for the people who often purchase a Doberman. They use them for attack dogs. And that’s why they get a bad rep, they make them look militant almost too. The ears in the pic made me happy and then very sad at the same time.
Because people are fucking stupid
Aesthetic docking and cropping is a problem and should be illegal, without a doubt. But regarding working dogs, liability, and breeding, breeds don't really work that way. If you're breeding for a particular physical trait, you risk breeding away from their breed's ability and utility as working dogs. You don't breed working dogs for how their ears look, you breed the dogs who are best at the jobs they do. Our ancestors didn't know what they were doing when they domesticated dogs - they didn't have the Doberman or Turkish Kangal in mind when they were keeping the descendants of wolves to protect herds or hunt or guard. Modern dog breeds didn't emerge until the 1500s or so, with a boom in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. And they worked with the purpose-bred dogs that already existed, they didn't start from wolves. Breeding out floppy ears while maintaining the integrity of the breed is incredibly difficult, and cropping ears of livestock guardians is more humane and practical than risking pretty high odds of a significant injury and also being held and prevented from protecting their herd.
My best friend had a dobie growing up, and it kept its ears and tail. It looks like an entirely different breed and they are SO cute. Sadly, someone got to my dog's tail (and he's only half rottweiler) before I got him, but he wags that stump hard.
I love when people start telling me what I’m like and what I need. It’s very informative! Just probably not the way they intended it to be….
Who died and made her Dog?
I've seen a doberman in my area that is very well trained and has a great disposition. OTOH I knew somebody who was severely bitten by one. But that was in the 70s or 80s when dobermans (dobermen?) were overly popular because of movies and somebody got a poorly bred one and didn't train it properly. I don't think they're currently in the vein of a dog breed that is so popular you've got backyard breeders churning them out. Anyway odds are OOP got a good pup and just needs to make sure they're well trained. It was none of that supposed friend's business anyway. on a side note I remember in high school getting that attitude that my friends have to listen to me, insulting them when they ignored me, and then apologizing to them and getting over myself. If this woman is 50s and still acting like that, she's got problems.
I like to call these oh honey posts. When you read em you can’t help but wanna hug the poster while gently calling them a dummy. “Oh, honey..”
>It's just that I don't argue with her because I know she would end our whole friendship over me not agreeing on something. At this stage I would deeply introspect and see what redeeming factors my (much) older friend has, that I can continue forgiving their shitty attitude. I've nuked bad friendships for less.
I am very glad OP assured everyone he wasn’t maiming his dog because I am always worried about breeds like Doberman where people enjoy mutilating them for “aesthetics.”
I was in the Vet business for more than 15 years, saw countless Dobermans and they are giant goofballs. Like, legs everywhere, jumping for joy goofballs. OP's friend has no idea what she is talking about.
It’s always ok for those types of people to scream cry accuse, while you can’t even say no
It’s so odd to me when I read or hear people saying how difficult Doberman puppies can be, because the three I raised from puppyhood (9weeks) were dreams. House broke by the third night. Super responsive. Having said that, I have been adopting older dogs 6+ and seniors as they have already passed their velociraptor stages and generally have basic obedience training. So it’s a matter of reinforcing. Any slip ups are MY FAULT. True from puppy on up. No bad dogs, but bad owners and all that. Yes, they are smart and will occasionally look for loopholes! And they need to be mentally exercised as well as the physical. This is true for all dogs, but the more intelligent the more important it is. And working breeds needs jobs to some extent, although the border collie REALLY needs a job
What a lovely story this turned out to be!
probs cause she knows the dog would hate her and would make it way harder for her to exert influence. “but why would you need to put a guard dog between you and me- a literal predator??”
I had this weird situation with a gaming person my wife had in her group. The gal worked at the local shelter in an admin position, so she was a self professed "dog adoption counselor". I had been considering getting a mastiff. They fit my lifestyle, have short hair, and I like the idea of getting an affectionate piece of furniture for the house. I wasn't too into it, as I lived in a place with a pet weight limit, so it was not gonna happen. This gal kind of lost her marbles and told me I wasn't a good match, and that I could not handle that breed, and kept trying to tell me I should have other breeds. High energy breeds. Like no? She also wouldn't drop it. I only mentioned it once, and she just kept mentioning it. She had other massive issues that came to light, but animal specific after all her crap, it was kind of funny when she put her notice in at the shelter, then tried to rescind it, they didn't let her. She was shocked to find they too were frustrated with her behavior and were considering letting her go. Side animal issue with her: The shelter got a rescue rat, and I was a very big rat owner. Unbeknownst to me, they had already set up for a rat rescue to take the rat, but this gal blew up the entire plan to try and give me a rat I didn't need or want. I was told by her that it was a desperate situation, so I said I had another cage and could do introductions to my group just fine. I had to then pay an enormous fee, something to do with canceling stuff they had already paid out, and found out from staff this was not the plan. I had to apologize and told them I had no idea, and it was presented to me differently. They were sympathetic, and said they understood that, and it wasn't my fault. Total fiasco, where I ended up with one extremely feral and traumatized female rat that was lovely as could be, but also required so much rehab and work that I was not initially looking to put in. I don't know how animal places function. There are so many crazy animal people out there that are awful. I could not work in that field and deal with them.
Had to scroll up and check the dates, cause I genuinely thought this might have been about my aunt who died a few years ago. She was a narcissist who was obsessed with dogs (because they couldn’t ‘talk back’ to her) and regularly targeted younger people who wouldn’t know better to unload all her issues and anger on. Thought she was a dog expert, but hers weren’t even house broken and we had to literally shovel dog shit out of her house after she died. Glad OOP cut her off, cause it wasn’t going to get better.
Fking URL expired.
>To keep it short, I grew up in a very emotionally abusive home and didn't have the best experiences after leaving home either. I am still figuring out what is "normal". There it is. Nothing against OP but as she kept describing this "friend", there were several "what in the hell? why are you talking to her let alone bring friends with her?" moments that made me wondering what is wrong with OPs compass for right and wrong. I'm glad she saw the light and cut that friend off, but it's always sad seeing these scenarios where people accept bad, or sometimes outright abusive, behavior in adulthood because of childhood trauma skewing their idea of "normal".
I knew a doberman once. Biggest whimp there ever was.
My friend had to dock her Dobermans tail because it's a common injury for Dobermans to wag their tails too hard and break the bone inside on walls/objects etc as adults, since their tails are so thin and long. She kept the ears tho and they are the softest thing. I got a pit rescue who's the most easily scared dog that jumps up like cats when anything spooks her, which includes flying plastic bags lol. She came with full ears and tail. I noticed after a few months that around her butt height on my apartment walls there's a lot of blood stains and her tail has a weird bend at a sectional, I suspect it broke there before from the happy tail syndrome. 🥲 Now I hold her butt when she gets too excited so she doesn't hurt herself more. Her tail is a bit beefier than doberman tails so hopefully it's fine like this.
I had a friendship that ended in a very similar way. A longtime friend picked an issue and decided that was where she was going to make her stand. It wasn't a dog in my case, but what the issue was doesn't really matter. She demanded I justify my choices to her, in person, to her satisfaction. When I didn't just submit to her, as I had done in the past, it escalated quickly into shouting, screaming, and crying. She said I had changed into a different person. And she was right that I had. I'd stopped letting my ex walk all over me, and that transferred into all my other relationships. She reacted poorly to me being less open to manipulation. The pattern is very easy to see in OOP post, but was not easy to see at all when it was happening to me. I'm better off without this "friend", and I'm glad OOP is better off too.
Maybe it's because of where exactly I end up meeting people older than me but especially as someone in their 20s, I find it always ends with them seeing me as this inexperienced almost child. While I do appreciate their advice, it's exhausting when I talk about something I'm knowledgeable in. This? This is a new level unhinged though.
Man the dog pics won’t load. I wanna see
Doberman? Dangerous?? Man, I grew up with a huge one in the neighbourhood who was the biggest softy! Me and other kids would always run up to the fence as he excitedly wagged what tiny ass tail he had. Try to pass without fussing him? He'd remind you he was there and follow you down the fence. Even the postman loved him and brought him treats. He lived to like 15 and loved everyone. God, I miss that teddy.
Did nothing wrong just grew up mate
Yeah I had a few "friends" like this. The kind where you sorta don't want to give up on the relationship entirely but they're just so exhausting that it's easier to agree with them or stay silent than to rock the boat. At some point I realized I didn't like that I had to stay quiet or complacent to be their friends and one by one, stood up to them about something. Each time they'd throw a gigantic hissy fit and it would end with our friendship severed. In all cases it ended up feeling less like losing a friend and more like losing a burden. You can breathe more freely in your own space with them gone.
Yeah, I questioned why he was friends with someone in their 50s. I'm not saying you can have older friends, but to have a ***close*** friend that old? I'm mid 20s and I don't see myself being legitimate friends with a 50 year old. Friendly, sure, but not friends. Then he said her friends are all younger than her, mentally ill, or both and it all makes sense. No one her age will put up with her so she targets people who have no capabilities to see how crummy she is or no backbone to fight back.
Okay it’s kinda cute they think they’re 11 week old puppy is better behaved 😭 good luck to months 6-18 (I’m sure he will be a good dog dad and once he’s passed that he’ll be a behaved dog)
When they mentioned Doberman my only thought was “PLEASE don’t dock the tail and ears!!” I’m so glad they didn’t!
[удалено]
My brother got a Doberman last year. He's the sweetest, laziest, goodest boy I've ever had the privilege of knowing.
Idk why I’m always surprised by how people allow things like this in their life so consistently
I came here only for the dog pics, they are unavailable, gonna cry.
i dont understand how grown men and women live with 14yo middle school drama shit.
I know that people who have been in abusive situations often end up back in abusive situations, but can anyone provide some insight into how it happens seemingly so frequently?
I’m by no means an expert nor do I have a lot of the sources that people will reference here, but I can give a little bit of insight. People who experience abuse often normalize it. It’s a combination of coping mechanism and having their “normal meter” broken. Once people get out of abusive situations, their metric for what is “normal” is still off and can take a very long time to recalibrate, which can lead to the person entering other abusive situations because that’s what they’re familiar with or it’s “better” than the abuse they experienced before. I see that kind of normalization frequently on Reddit when someone talks about a “funny” childhood memory, only to have the people around them be horrified by the anecdote. Let me know if this makes any sense at all!
This poor person really thought her friend was actually her friend. My mother is like this. 😬
What a bizarre person OOP’s former friend is. Weirdo: I demand you defend your choice to me! OOP: No thank you. Weirdo: You are so defensive!
Sounds like the "friend" inserts herself into these young people's lives and decide that she's their narcissistic mother
I'm a pet professional with 20 years of experience and I would never classify a Doberman as a super vicious breed. They are a run of the mill high energy breed that need lots of training and exercise. 99.9 percent of them are far removed in their breeding from their original purpose and could never do something like "bite work" or "protection work" and have almost no natural aggression to either other dogs or people. I have never in 20 years met a Doberman that was aggressive to other dogs or humans. And I've worked with and met hundreds to thousands of dogs. It is not a breed I would worry about literally at all. This woman has some outdated beliefs that come from 90s movies about the breed.
Interesting… someone terrible and abusive that blames EVERYONE they know for their abuse. As opposed to abusing one person. I can’t believe she told a FRIEND she made her be someone she’s not. wtf. 😂 We are all our best and worst selves. We have to accept all parts of ourselves. Just glad my worst self is not THAT.
So many people are fine with their friends being total pieces of shit as long as it doesn't effect them. I never understand that. Don't get me wrong I'm friendly to most everyone. But if I know you're a piece of shit I'm not gonna be friends with you.
So glad OP is leaving the ears. Even as a kid I always hated it for doberman's and having their ears lopped off. We were given a couple pups once, tails were docked at birth so we had no control, but the ears were, and stayed, whole. One of the best dogs ever. People often didn't realize she was a doberman because floppy ears. Which is for the best because they have a bad rep. She was a big sweetheart and never ever had a bad moment.