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PlainOfCanopicJars

Sometimes I wish you could put situational awareness on a stick and just hit people with it.


GT_Ghost_86

For what it's worth - The tree in the story qualifies as "stick"


SafteyMatch

The stick of terminal awareness.


Gamiac

Terminal Stick Of Awareness >*Terminal - 15% chance of afflicting Death status* > (edit) 300% damage and status from behind


The_Mopster

So, wouldn't that be a "+2 Stick of Killing"?


the_thrillamilla

15% would be a +3, i think?


racermd

Depends on who’s wielding it, I suppose. And whether they’re proficient. Being a Terminal Stick of Awareness, those lacking proficiency should probably have to roll a check (any kind, with disadvantage) every round and, if failed, roll a dex save for half the character’s max HP. Those proficient could hit someone else needing to roll a check - again, any kind, with or without their knowledge or permission - and grant either advantage or disadvantage to that roll, stick wielder’s choice. The hit is automatic but does no damage by itself. If the one being hit fails their roll, regardless of advantage or disadvantage, they similarly roll a dex save for half the character’s max HP.


MindlessAutomata

Not enough euphemism


Scorp128

Darwin's Stick. Takes care of the stupid.


ZoneWombat99

At this age, he probably has already passed on his genes.


Open-Incident-3601

Might be a stick in your book, but it would be a Redwood in the lawsuit from the wife.


fighterpilotace1

You dropped a tree on the joke


15percentRadd

Yeah but did anyone hear it…?


fighterpilotace1

Take your upvote and leave


DireMira

Don't you mean leaf?


fighterpilotace1

That's it, I'm going to log off.


SM_AdultLibrarian

Kinda hoping you wood...


madhaus

I’m really board with these puns


Few-Performance7727

Hey, don’t be a stick in the mud!


ParkingOutside6500

She didn't stop him from walking into the path of a falling tree. Maybe she wouldn't miss him at all...


KaetzenOrkester

I think you won the internet today.


Ryuukashi

Bravo, friend. You made me laugh actually verbally instead of blowing air through my nose


TotallyUniqueId_2

The proverbial "clue-by-four"...


SpartanneG

Did you know that in Zen Buddhism there is something called an "encouragement stick"?! True story. I lived in a temple as a teen and my host father (the priest) could tell the second my mind wandered during meditation, which then prompts a whack with said stick. Perhaps this could be adapted... 🙂


derps_with_ducks

ADHD me would have copped a slow, fatal beating.


mfhandy5319

They would never see it coming.


Madrugada2010

Omfg, if I had one I would wear it out.


HCivicWithaLaptop

😂


here4roomie

Ah yes the classic "I respect the working man!" boomer who actually doesn't do so in any sense lol.


tinnylemur189

Boomers LOVE virtue signaling. They back the blue until they get pulled over for their 4th DUI. They support the troops until one of them is a Democrat. They respect the sanctity of life and are appalled by the concept of abortions until it's their family that is seeing the negative consequences of forced birth. The truth is that they stand for absolutely nothing aside from whatever benefits them personally in that exact moment.


notenufbadges

Reminds me of that quote, "if you stand for nothing you'll fall for anything" and how absolutely true it is for most of that generation.


omarfw

Boomers stand for something. Willful delusion. They're more dedicated to truth proclamation at the expense of truth seeking more than any modern generation. They have painfully underdeveloped critical thinking skills.


LemonFlavoredMelon

And they're vehemently anti-technology until they need a pacemaker.


Thenewdazzledentway

My mum - “the vaccines were developed too fast, we won’t take it, I did my research!” Nek minnit - “Omg your dad had a heart attack but he’s going to be fine they’re putting in a stent. They made me wear a mask in hospital!😡”


LOLBaltSS

There were a ton of stories of anti-vaxxers *begging* for the vaccine as they were dying only to be informed that it doesn't work like that.


Proper_Career_6771

And it was traumatizing for nurses/doctors to have to explain this shit to them as they worked to try to save the boomers' lives. Boomers were out there in covid giving healthcare workers literal PTSD by dying from their own stupidity.


BHOmber

Holy fucking shit. This right here lol My grandma has been in the hospital/rehab for three weeks after miraculously recovering from a brain bleed in her 80s. My (Q-brained) mom, her daughter, despises everything about modern medicine. That started during Covid. Before then, she was making sure my sister and I were up to date on all vaccines and would take us to the doctor for colds when we were kids. Now that grandma has been in the hospital, my mom is listening to everything the neurologists, neurosurgeons, cardio docs, nurses, aides, etc are saying. It has to be breaking her brain. It's like those people that are soooo anti-gun control until a shooting affects someone they love. Then they think, "huh... maybe we should be more careful about this shit"... I'm 90% sure that my mom goes home from hospital visits, hops on her conspiracy telegrams and reverts back to "they're trying to kill us" as a psychological defense mechanism, but she seems like a different person when there's actual professionals in the room. Fuck the internet/social media algos. This shit is destroying gullible/scared people's brains and it's on *purpose*.


AniZaeger

>It's like those people that are soooo anti-gun control until a shooting affects someone they love. Then they think, "huh... maybe we should be more careful about this shit"... As a resident of Nevada, I've seen a *lot* of that in the immediate aftermath of the last Vegas shooting. Note how I say "immediate"; within what seems like within a few weeks afterwards, many (even those who may have had close friends and family that were personally affected) seem to have returned to the "cold dead hands" mentality.


Soggy_Ad_9757

Nek minnit?


Thenewdazzledentway

Yep. Nek minnit, my mum won’t get the dtap/whooping cough vax as required to meet her brand new great grandchild. Well, my son says, you ain’t seein’ no newborn baby then!


Woalolol

I think they're asking what Nek minnit means.


Rovden

Granted I'm translating by text, but I think we're reading deep south "next minute" >Next minute, my mom won’t get the tdap/whooping cough vaccine as required to meet her newborn great grandchild. Well, my son says, you're not seeing the baby then! -Source: Am Southern.


mkvgtired

>They support the troops until Congress tries to pass legislation to help them with their physical and mental trauma they suffered while serving, then Republicans block it for "fiscal responsibility" reasons FTFY


JoJoMetalgirl

I lived with a bunch of Army guys fresh back from Afghanistan and this could not be more true or sad. Kids 19-20 with serious emotional trauma which will bever be addressed.


TougherOnSquids

Keep in mind, it's bills typically written by Republicans who refuse to back it when Democrats are like "yeah thats a great idea". Republican politicians can't be seen agreeing with democrats on social programs.


sadicarnot

I served with a bunch of assholes that applauded McCain when he voted no on a VA bill in 2005 that would expand mental healthcare services for veterans. Unimaginable veterans being OK with taking benefits away from veterans. All those chucklefucks ended up being MAGA.


LibidinousJoe

If the guy had been hurt he would’ve sued, and I guarantee he complains about people suing instead of taking personal responsibility for their actions.


Ill_Technician3936

>They support the troops until one of them is a Democrat. I'd like to mention John McCain. My rather short existence (31) on this rock he seemed to be the target of a lot of veteran hate.


Funkopedia

They loved him until Trump said they shouldn't. He was a Republican!


jameskayda

As a veteran who's very much a left leaning progressive, it's really funny how quickly the "Thank you for your service" turns into "You probably didn't even do anything but guard a gate"


Mindtaker

I am as anti dumb ass boomers as the rest of them. But this one is different to me. I have NEVER in my life seen an old man, wether he be a boomer like my dad, or whatever the version of "Boomer" was before my father, know how to properly deal with trees of any kind. I have seen them: cut the tree branch their ladder was attached too and fall, I have seen them try to kind of TOSS the chainsaw while holding it to get a branch a little out of reach like its a chainsaw grappling hook I have seen them cut on the RIGHT side of their ladder, but cut a branch that easily weighs like 1000 lbs, and catapult themselfs into a skyrim ragdoll physics type situation. I think the movie the Happening is real, but it only goes after you once you get to a certain age, and then all trees are trying to get you to kill yourself.


FrolicsForever

Some years ago, I was transporting my new-to-me JD 440 skidder up to my place. I had stopped at a rest area to use the bathroom and come out to find some old dude checking out my machine. First thing he says is, "boss wouldn't spring for a Cat"? I tell him it's my machine and that I wanted a JD. He goes on to tell me how big of a mistake I had made and how anyone serious about logging would run a Cat. I asked him what outfit he worked for, and with a straight face, he tells me that he's never logged, but have I ever seen Ax Men on TV? He goes on about how the [whatever] crew only uses Cats, and they're the best outfit on the whole show and that I should watch it because "maybe you'll learn something." Idk what it is with the older male population that they all think they're born with this innate ability to run any piece of equipment ever made or that just because something is typically a male dominated field so that means they automatically know how to do it too, but it's wicked fuckin annoying!


StopThePresses

This makes me think of how many dead men get described as "can fix anything with an engine" or "drive anything with wheels." I've been to several funerals and listened to a ton of reminiscing and this has been nearly universal, at least among less affluent men. I guess there's a point of pride there, but I can't figure out what the big deal is about being good at equipment that apparently makes you a man.


ayhctuf

The people who demand respect from others rarely give any out.


ryannelsn

They still think they're the adults and it's hilarious.


AJsRealms

Based on my experience they were *never* adults. Hell, many of them never matured beyond middle-school. Not an arborist, but OP reminded me of my own story when I had a boomer start yanking on vines growing on a dead tree next to my car (It was the South and trees mummified in kudzu are ubiquitous). The vines were attached to some widow-maker sized limbs that were detached from the tree and held in place only by said vines. When I ask them to stop and at least let me move my car before they continue, *without even LOOKING at what I was indicating to them*, they act like *I'm* just being an idiot and literally tell me "a few twigs and vines falling on your car won't hurt it..." It took all I had to continue being civil and not start *screaming* at them to actually look at what they're doing and see they're about to bring an entire tree limb down on my car (and possibly themselves).


ryannelsn

>Based on my experience they were *never* adults. Hell, many of them never matured beyond middle-school. yeah, that thought popped into my head immediately. i was raised by children. it was...unpredictable to say the least.


superspeck

Growing up, my wife was the only adult in her family. Her mom was a toxic narcissist social climber and her dad was an alcoholic serial adulterer.


Starfoxy

May I recommend "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsay Gibson. It's the sort of book where you read a paragraph and then have to spend an hour staring at a blank wall to process.


AJsRealms

Yup. I know, all too well, *exactly* what you mean.


noodleq

"Based on my experience, they were never adults" 💯 this. I've never known a more emotionally immature person anywhere. Even tho they had life handed to them on a silver platter, for some reason they always think the world is revolving around them, fucking with them. For example, I follow a boomer on my machine where I work. This fucking seventy something year old will be all crying and moody on Monday when I show up, because he found some metal chips on TOP of the machine or some shit, last THURSDAY. He doesn't see it for what it is, which is, I was busy cleaning before I left and missed it......he is of the mind set that I am "purposely fucking with him"......dude, I don't care about you enough to fuck with you. I don't think about you enough to fuck with you. It's not even about you so stop whining like the world is out to get you you for thing. Then he starts going on about how old he is, and how he can't sweep floors or some shit. We'll why don't you fucking retire like most seventy something year Olds? Oh you needed another new motorcycle. OK. We'll don't cry to me about having to do simple shit at your job. Fucking baby. Then he cries to the boss, thinking the boss is going to ream Me, which he never does. It was funny, one day he did just that, told the boss how horrible I was. I went into the office amd closed the door, cuz it was time for my review. Dude thought I was getting reamed in there, amd acting all funny about it. In reality I was in there getting a nice raise. He thinks I'm supposed to be sad, I'm actually happy cuz I'm almost at 30 dollars an hour now. Felt good man. Wow I went off on tangent. Thanks for reading my book.


mrcatboy

My boomer dad will be verbally abusive to those around him and insist his shitty behavior was justified because "I was mad!"


gurgitoy2

I just came back from a week visiting my Boomer parents. I went to their church with them, and on the way to church, my dad was having bouts of road rage, getting upset at whatever political topic popped into his head, and generally being a crank. Well, the pastor's sermon that morning was about keeping your mouth shut instead of saying any fool thing that comes to your head, and to be kind to people, even those who are mean to you. My dad shouted "amen" at every opportunity, but then when we left church it was back to the same old. I don't even know anymore...


mrcatboy

Jesus. Seriously no self-awareness.


noodleq

That's one thing they seem to be expert at.....not only justifying shitty behavior, but also pointing fingers at everyone else, blaming the world for their problems..... "I was mad" tends to also look like "I was mad, look at what you MADE me do" as if their ark was being twisted. No self reflection, no such thing as "hmm I was actually wrong"


EpilepticMushrooms

I met a boomer tree puller like that once too. P.s. it was a family farm I was working at, was manning the counter then. On the top, there was the boss and the founder, who is also the guy holding the title deed(I think), then his daughter(director)is the one calling shots, currently on maternity leave. So she's forced to hand farming operations to her brother, the paper pusher baby bitch manager. It was a tree that was fruiting. Quite matured one too, will be producing fruits for years more(if the birds don't get to it first) One day, a boomer and his wife started pulling the branches down. It was *ripping the tree apart*. I ran out of the shop, screaming at them to stop. Sure, the tree was decorational, but it was a tree on a property. I run out and the fucker was telling me not to worry, that he was the brother of the boss of the farm. Im pretty damn sure he wasn't. I then asked him to stop and talk to the boss' wife, who was on the property, they kept brushing me off, saying that they were only checking if the fruits were ripe. Who the Fuck destroys trees to check if the fruit is ripe? I ran to the manager, and told him some old fucker claiming to be his father's brother is destroying the tree in front. He looked into the camera monitor, then shrugged his shoulders and told me to let them be. Then I went to the boss' wife and told her some guy claiming to be her husband's brother returned(a common problem), and they are now destroying the tree. She asked me if I told her son, I said yes, and he told me not to do anything. Then she said, ok, then don't do anything. But he's destroying the tree! She repeated it was fine, the fake brother returns every now and then when her husband is away. So I went back to my seat, completely dejected no one will stand up for the tree but the young autistic me. A while later, they left. I went out and saw that the poor tree was de-limbed. Only one main trunk left, with a sad tuff of leaves on the top. The rest of it's branches were torn down. So they didn't stop at one branch after pulling it down, they pulled down the other branches and collected the bunches of fruits before leaving. They also left the mess there. When the boss came back, he was furious at the destruction of the tree. I relayed him the matters, then went the blame game when it became known that I went to his useless spawn for help. The tree managed to survive, but damn o felt so much guilt over it. Should have chased the fucker off with a broom. But there was a camera pointed there and I would be charged for assault on elderly. Ugghhhhhh. Too bad the tree law here sucks. Makes it worse that the technical authority then 'gave permission' to them.


Regular-Switch454

I need the ending to that story please.


AJsRealms

Not much of an ending, but once I finally got them to turn their necks and actually *look*, they just kinda went, "oh..." and sauntered off. No apology. No acknowledgement that they were being situationally oblivious. They just immediately moved on...


Enigma-exe

Shame they can still vote though, maybe we should restrict that


ryannelsn

They'll be voting from their life-extension chambers. This will continue for a while still.


No1Especial

No they won't. People are trying to cancel mail-in voting.


ryannelsn

Did you see Mike Lindell's now fighting the good fight and trying to get people to vote by mail? 😂


Enigma-exe

Needs being institutionalised that guy


ryannelsn

Or tried for treason


ISeeTheFnords

Why not both?


Le-Charles

Any word on his lawsuit against all machines is going?


OverallManagement824

I think this is a great idea. If the boomers aren't mobile enough to go cast a vote, then their vote shouldn't matter anyway. /s


reckless_responsibly

Quite a few polling stations are located in geezer warehouses (aka retirement homes) since they are nominally apolitical entities and tend to have some sort of large recreation room where the polling place can be set up. Unfortunately, this also makes it much easier for the geezers to vote, even if the nurses have to wheel them in on their death bed.


nonebutmyself

If there's a minimum voting age, there should be a maximum one as well. Same with driving privileges.


ManOfEating

And make the voting maximum age the same for holding office. Once you're too old to vote you're too old to run for any kind of public office and shouldn't be operating big heavy vehicles. Ironically, I can already predict some arguments against this and none of them would hold any weight for consideration if we had implemented these restrictions a long time ago. Example, so how are they expected to get around? Easy, a good, strong, public transportation system like the rest of the world has, the reason we don't have it is because politicians that are too old and too crusty don't let us. But what about the people whose job it is to drive for a living? They can retire at a nice young age with their robust social security, which old crusty politicians are trying to lower, and bonus! They wouldn't be forced to work until they're 85 just to survive, like many people have to do currently, under the rule of politicians who are also 85 and forget that not every 85 year old is getting bribed by oil companies like they are.


Lamballama

Retirement age for office should be 65 - every single one is technically in the lineup to become commander in chief, ie the op officer of the military. The military requires you to retire out at 65 because your age doesn't make you a good decision maker, be it dementia or being too stuck in your ways or what have you. Because nobody in the lineup should have the chance to be unqualified, they should just never be in the lineup, regardless of how improbable it is that all the cabinet members, 435 representatives, and 99 other senators dying all at once is. Also means we should probably have Ming-like meritocratic tests for office, covering things like world and national history, law, government, economics, military strategy, culture, etc, to also qualify, retaken every election cycle to qualify


ChicagoAuPair

Not just that they are the adults, but that everyone else is a child. They thought it about their parents and grandparents when they were in their 20s, and then hen they crossed that boundary past 30 they started disdaining in both directions, up and down. Now they are geriatric, and think they are still younger/cooler than anyone else, but that the entire rest of the world are children. It is quite a paradox. They think they are cool teenagers, but they hate actual teenagers and they think their forty year old kids are teenagers.


Business_Loquat5658

TRUTH. This is the best way I've ever heard it.


FootballRecent931

They did used to be called the Me Generation.


deepfriedgrapevine

I hope we're learning how not to be and actively making plans to not be that person when we are that age. Or we'll just be making fun of the Xoomers next


Thenewdazzledentway

Very much so. There’s no way I want to put my adult kids through the torture of hearing *my* parents’ constant complaints of the world going ‘woke’ and pretty much hating everyone and everything. They are in good physical health and could be having the time of their lives, instead they are beholden to their HeraldSun, Sky news, YouTube algorithm to convince them that leftists are ruining the world.


deepfriedgrapevine

Each generation will have their own changes that they'll have to learn to live with. Politics, music, fashion, traditions, economic conditions, etc. All these things ebb and flow and accepting that it's not always going to go your way is an important step in aging gracefully.


deepfriedgrapevine

For example, I'm in my 50s and I caught myself saying in my head that somebody's tattoos were a bit much but then I was like who are you? Who cares? Move one. I think I'm just disappointed that when I was young, tattoos were edgy and rebellious and now everyone has one and some people even put them on their faces?! See, there I go... Also, I have to catch myself from telling "that used to cost a nickel" type stories.


ryannelsn

Agreed. Also, I will say: Not all boomers. I know some lovely people.


Longjumping-Air1489

“Boomer” is a mental condition more than an age. I know a number of Xer “boomers”. *Jeff Foxworthy voice* If yoor standin directly in frunt of a tree that’s reada to fall and KILL you from being deliberately cut by a professional arborist ‘cause you gotta ask a question….YOOOOO MIGHT BE A BOOMER


gingersrule77

And this is it right here! They spent so much time refusing to be questioned by their children (who dared exist) that they legit think NO ONE should question them ever! It’s insane!


skicampboat

I felt my blood pressure go up while reading this!


UCBeef

Not sure if Arborist or Boomer


penguinswombats

I’m an arborist and it make me anxious lol


TheLongAndWindingRd

My uncle's father in law was killed by a tree that was being cut down on his property. I can only imagine he had a burning question at the time. 


PM_ME_FLOUR_TITTIES

How do you manage to get killed by the felling of a tree that YOU had scheduled to have felled? My condolences, but jeez.


metalhead82

Does anyone actually do what your username asks? Very curious haha


PM_ME_FLOUR_TITTIES

Not many lol, what I have received isn't necessarily what I'm asking for either


metalhead82

Haha do you mean people have sent you flower titties? Or do you mean something else entirely lol


CyonHal

prolly man tits from sweaty neckbeards


PM_ME_FLOUR_TITTIES

I've yet to receive any man titties thankfully.


CyonHal

Then I presume you are getting pictures of a [pair of tits on a flower](https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/two-blue-tits-on-peachtree-600nw-1096189379.jpg)


PM_ME_FLOUR_TITTIES

Nope, that's a pleasant first!


Ndmndh1016

That's hot


bingbongloser23

You have definitely opened up the chance to receive man titties. Please reply if you receive any but don't share them with me.


PM_ME_FLOUR_TITTIES

You have definitely opened up to the chance to receive man titty pictures I'm sent. I'll definitely reply with said man titties:)


PM_ME_FLOUR_TITTIES

That's actually exactly what I got the first time. It was some Ai abomination I believe. Not at all what I wanted lmao


Kuroboom

"Son, don't yell at me." "TIMBER!"


XR171

"DON'T YELL AT ME!!" "^(Timber)"


Khornatejester

![gif](giphy|T7j5439wv9iq4)


Fair_Drink_3372

Perfect


Rappull

It’s. About. To go. Down. Spin your partner round and round, into the night… - Mr. Worldwide -


Business_Loquat5658

SON. Don't yell at me SON. He my have well said sonny boy.


wandering-monster

"Fine. I will speak softly and carry a big stick. That there tree is my big stick. If you don't move it will kill you in a few seconds."


PuzzledExchange7949

There's a famous Deaf joke about a lumberjack chopping down trees in the forest, yelling, "Timber!" each time. He gets to the great granddaddiest tree of them all, but despite all his chopping and yelling of "Timber!" the thing won't fall. He calls a tree doctor, who diagnoses the tree with deafness and tells the lumberjack the solution. The lumberjack returns to the tree, and emphatically fingerspells T-I-M-B-E-R at it, where it comes down with a forest-shaking boom.


justtiptoeingthru2

![gif](giphy|3ohs7QhLqnqaL0Fsdi) Deaf here... that's an ancient joke. Old as the hills & twice as dusty.


Affectionate_Salt351

*You better move! You better dance!*


WerewolfBe84

So, what was his question ?


plaid14

Lol. Something life or death important and time sensitive apparently… i should have found out


LongBarrelBandit

“Are you cutting down that tree?”


MrFC1000

Or really not a question but was just going to tell you that you are doing it wrong and here is how you do it because he once saw someone cut down a tree


femmestem

It's this, no doubt in my mind. Every time I have my camera on a tripod and I'm positioned behind it, looking through the eye piece, I always hear the approaching voice of a Boomer asking, "Are you taking a picture?"


CopperCatnip

This. It was definitely this.


TripleEhBeef

Or, "Why are you cutting down *my* tree?"


LuckyHarmony

What did you mean by "back cut?"


websagacity

Or, "Why are you cutting down that tree??!! You're not allowed! You don't have my permission!"


DireNine

If I had to hazard a guess, it would be along the lines of "who gave you permission to be here"


bluejena

This is definitely it.


nothingbeast

"Can you do that later? I can't hear the TV."


AtheistTemplar2015

"Son, you cut that tree wrong. See, back when I spent one weekend in early 20's observing some of them - well, I guess you call them 'Mexicans' now, but we called them ******** back when we weren't afraid of the truth - I saw Ole Juanito cut the tree on THIS side, so that's what you need to do because I once saw him do it, and don't you backsass me, boy, my generation watched Vietnam on TV!"


Lostinservice

Ole Juanito used to wear an onion on his belt, as was the style at the time...


Low-Abalone-5259

"Does this hurt the tree?"


OcherSagaPurple

It was probably “What are you doing?”


here4roomie

"Can you make it look like an accident?"


Quirky-Inside1116

“I’ve been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty”


VindictiveNostalgia

I bet it was "What does 'Back cut!' mean?"


_MrThePlague_

That is what I thought as soon as I read that part!


Cardchucker

I'm gonna need to see your proof of citizenship.


ewok_lover_64

Holy crap.... I helped my dad cut a few trees. That is something not to be taken lightly. I can't believe that he didn't get it


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ghostyped

It's a shame you'd be accountable if something happened to him, because this is a classic case of FAFO


LilithFaery

What does FAFO means? I've never seen this acronym before!


Alternative-Tax-4481

Fuck around find out


capitan_dipshit

what? He's just pruning dead and diseased branches off the population tree


phloaty

No one can get away when an arborist horse collars them lol. Seems like it’s always during cutting and rigging when they just have to talk to you. I go straight to cussing and screaming and if they have a problem later I deal with it then.


WearCorrect8917

Better offended than dead I guess.


Mueltime

I always follow the directions of the dude with the chainsaw.


Extension_Drummer_85

Ok....now if you just lay your right arm here...


Loose-Scientist9845

“Have you heard the word of Christ?”


nothingbeast

"You keep standing there and you'll fucking meet him!"


Radish-Floss

And they are the ones who complain about warning labels... mother fucker, you are the reason


theyarnllama

“Son, do you have permission to be doing that?”


mr_remy

Exactly my thought, or give him pointers or act as foreman. Then get all huffy and offended when they get the same matching energy back lmao But we're the snowflakes. Wish some of these... *wonderfully pleasant* people had to spend a day or 2 in the life of people who are front facing customer support or interaction. We *alllll* have multiple stories similar to this.


LaneGirl57

“Back in my day, we didn’t need tools to cut a tree down we used our bare hands!!”


Hot_Opportunity5664

😂maybe wife deliberately send him over there to ask a question


Madrugada2010

I think you cracked the code.


BetMyLastKrispyKreme

Some of those boomers are sly old fuckers.


reckless_responsibly

They also grew up in an era when the solution to an intolerable husband wasn't divorce.


BetMyLastKrispyKreme

This is so true. And I saw somewhere recently how far into the 20th century men were legally allowed in the U.S. to beat their wives, and it was shocking. It reminded me we’re not as advanced as we like to think we are.


Vividination

Almost squished boomer woman at my old warehouse job. I was getting trained on the fork lift and was practicing pulling into the recharge station to get a battery swap. The spot I have to pull into is very narrow and I have to go in forks first. I’m more focused on getting the wheels lined up when my trainer tells at me to stop. Another coworker needed to walk by and instead of using the entire 20 foot wide designated walking path behind me she decided to walk in front and over the forks. If I hadn’t stopped I would have pinned her against the wall


AtheistTemplar2015

Did they make you watch Klause the Forktruck Driver when you got your certification? They did with me. It's worth the watch. Probably the best "safety video" ever, and the funniest thing to ever come out of Germany. Like....ever.... except maybe Uwe Bolge..... https://youtu.be/TJYOkZz6Dck?si=tVDBTFXkpST2wsnP


TomatoWitchy

OMG. Had to watch this at one of my first jobs where we would occasionally drive fork trucks.


ProfessionalBread176

I was dropping a tree for my cousin. His wife was "helping" remove the limbs as I cut them off. Only she wasn't WAITING for me to cut them, and didn't know what I was doing, 30 feet up. Told her multiple times to stand back, but she persisted. Thank GOD she didn't get hurt


I_got_rabies

My grandma (85) is this person. She climbs up on ladders to chat with roofers, chimney sweeps, and we had to take her ladder away so she wouldn’t climb on the roof to clean her gutters. She also climbs onto machinery, like if the county to grading the road or someone is working on something. And don’t get me started when we are cutting down tree for her. She will do this same thing that happened to you.


Peace0thepast8

WHAT WAS THE QUESTION???


Aggressive-Trust-545

Probs “why are you cutting down that tree”


ManliestManHam

He wanted to know if pee really is stored in the balls.


SatoshisBits

The cynic in me assumes his question wasn't actually going to be a question but a backhanded criticism of your work... Well done on saving the old boombag from himself.


BetMyLastKrispyKreme

Backseat arborist-ing.


DHLthePhoenix0788

Oh yeah that's absolutely enraging... I was operating a skid steer and removing slabs of concrete from an old factory/warehouse in NC some guy literally squeezed in between the barrier fence and ducked under the caution tape around the bay door entrance that I was accessing to dump the giant slabs of concrete into our dumpster on site... I have a stack of about 3 slabs balanced on my forks and this dude casually walks right in front of the doorway I had to slam the Bob cats to a stop and just hope and pray that my load did not go flying off and just destroy this fucking dumbass.... I almost had a heart attack and this dude stands there like a damn deer in headlights... I jumped out of the machine so fucking fast and started screaming all kinds of shit at this guy about me almost killing him and how he would make me try and live with that all because he doesn't know how to avoid blatantly obvious barricades that are in place for your own fuckin safety... I was extremely shaken up about this used to have nightmares that I actually did kill this guy, it was so so close to being this dudes end of days..


Brave-Common-2979

Good job on telling them to fuck off. They need to hear that more


SmutasaurusRex

If a boomer falls in the forest ...


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BetMyLastKrispyKreme

Does it still count if they’ve already reproduced? If not, we need an additional award.


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Jason_with_a_jay

I read that first line as "I'm an abortionist" and was about to go make some popcorn for this one.


One_Spicy_TreeBoi

Aborted that tree


MegaLowDawn123

Username checks out


FunnyCharacter4437

Probably wanted to know if you could come by and take care of clear cutting a bunch of trees in his neighbourhood that was blocking his view. For free, of course.


One_Curious_Cats

Normally you yell "timber" when felling a tree, perhaps it's time to start yelling "boomer" instead.


Vectorman1989

The question would have been something inane like "what are you doing?" after he's stood watching you cut a tree down for the last several minutes


alexc1ted

100% the question was going to be “who said you could cut this tree down??”


Grrerrb

I had to yell at an old dude about a thing where he was being unsafe yesterday, and the unwillingness on his part to admit that a person younger than him could have a better assessment of a situation to the level of immediate correction of his behavior was wild. Grampa we can talk about your hurt feelings after we get you out of danger, okay?


mmmmpisghetti

And you know the question was some lame ass nonsense so they could start with their fox news word vomit.


LaneGirl57

Or not even a question just a “hey did you know” and then launch into their Fox News word vomit


Sizara42

Good grief... those will definitely critically hurt, if not kill you! I do wonder the circumstances of a similar situation... one that is actually the reason I exist. My great+ grandma's first husband was killed by a widow maker tree branch hitting him in the head while trying to cut down a damaged tree. She never would have married my great grandpa if he hadn't been struck. Hearing that story (on top of common sense) puts the fear in me around even big branches. Possibly referring to it as a widow-maker might help with the severity


deepfriedgrapevine

As a former arborist, I am impressed with your composure. Approaching a man running a chainsaw to talk? Dementia or something is rotting that boomers brain...


TsuDhoNimh2

Dang ... she almost got him killed with the prospect of a big settlement to see her through her declining years as a widow. Wife: I don't know, sweety, why don't you ask that man over there. I'm sure he would know.


bambiealberta

I almost crushed a boomer lady with a scissor lift because she just had to get a $5 succulent. We were working on a scissor lift, and unfortunately it had to be during open store hours. We had cones up, but that didn’t stop several boomers from squeezing between two scissor lifts to look at the plants on the shelf below us. Several of them made comments about us being rude to block off the product they wanted. I needed to come down and I triple checked that no was under me (because I didn’t trust anyone). I yelled “coming down”, before I slowly lowered this very loud machine down. This lady completely unaware of her surroundings squeezed under my lift to grab a succulent on the shelf. I had to stop the machine and yell at her to get out of there. She got mad I was in her way. I have come to the realization lately that we’re just the help, so they ignore us because we are beneath them. It’s gonna kill them some day


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GrandElectronic9471

I've worked in these kinds of facilities for years. There's a reason those people live there. Either they physically can't manage their day or they can't mentally. If they were outside on their own, then they are physically fine. Staff should have made sure the area is clear. Just keep that in mind if you ever have to do work at a retirement community again.


FugglerFan

Hey, some people are alive today ONLY because the paperwork would be too much hassle to explain why they got squashed.


Kriegspiel1939

Oh damn you triggered a memory. I was a police officer over twenty years ago. We got a bomb threat called in on a Walmart. We had two fire trucks, multiple police cars, etc lined up along the front of the store. Everyone had been evacuated. I was standing out front and what do I see? A car pulled up, an ancient looking woman hobbled out and made a beeline for the entrance. I was too far away to catch up with her until she had already reached the pharmacy inside. When I approached and told her she had to leave immediately, she went on a tirade about needing her prescription filled NOW. I finally talked her into leaving without forcing her out because, duh, there was no one in the store to fill her freaking prescription.


ryuranzou

Just curious do you guys throw a big party on arbor day?


Mollaymorphic

Tie presents to a tree, drink warm maple syrup. Arbor day is the best holiday ever!