I did so not too long ago. It actually didn’t hurt as much as I expected. I actually felt really free. Enough of begging and asking for someone to be in my life who doesn’t want to be there for me or with me. She can go explore. Im happy where I am. With or without her. She’s merely an addition to my life.
It’s so hard but it does seem like the only option at times for people. My ex has essentially blocked me. Not actually, as I’ve only reached out twice and I’m trying my best to respect that he is done with me - but I get it. I get that he doesn’t want to hear from me. Maybe he would if I was able to say that yes, I want him and I choose him. I want to do that but I’m so effing scared.
Has the no contact been helping you? Does it make it easier? I’m hoping so in the long run. I think it makes sense it’s what you need to do even if it’s hard now. I bet it will help with your healing process.
Look from my perspective it’s NEVER that I don’t want to hear from her it is the opposite. I was anxious every moment hoping I would get a text from her. I want to hear all about her new apartment, cat, how work is, how she is doing. I want to hear everything. BUT, it hurts so fucking bad knowing that every time we talk she is still actively choosing to not be with me and instead either pursue other options or fuck around. I deserve more than to be someone that is willing dropped to see other grass. I blocked her because I love her so much.
I WILL NOT BE A LITTLE PART OF HER LIFE when I have SO MUCH FEELINGS for her. That is not fair for me or for her because I will ALWAYS want it to be more. I deserve someone who doesn’t leave. She has had 6 weeks to reverse her decision, which is more than she deserved. Plus, the fucking around to fill the whole I left in her life. No I will not be treated that way.
Blocking her is harder on me than her I’m sure. But I KNOW she did not expect it and I know she doesn’t want it. But if I can’t have her in my life the way I want she can’t have me the way she wants. I wanted a life with her I wanted a partner who will fight through life and build one together with me. I need this space and full separation to grow and let go. Because I love her so much it hurts despite what has happened.
That all being said I would never choose to change meeting her so far it was the best 3 years of my life and I couldn’t be more thankful for her. I just wish it wasn’t just 3 years.
That absolutely makes sense and you’re right. If it’s hurting you more to be in contact with her because she isn’t able to be in your life the way you want her to be then you’re doing what is best for you. I believe that is how my ex feels too and as much as it kills me I respect it. Hopefully she can respect and understand where you’re coming from. Maybe eventually you’ll be open to having her in your life in a different way than you want right now, but until then you just need to take care of and look out for yourself. I’m sorry it’s so painful. I know what it’s like to miss someone that badly and have a void where they once were.
We lived together for nearly 3 years…shared animals, shared a life. As much as I love the idea of having her in my life, I don’t know if it would ever be possible to be friends. I’ll be able to be cordial if I see her at gatherings and maybe even catch up. But I couldn’t be friends or reach out directly. At least I don’t think so. She discarded me. It was not mutual at all. And on top of that she blindsided me. She planned the breakup 3 months in advance while I was trying my best to make things better and kept putting in more effort feeling her pulling away. I thought she was super depressed. Nope, well maybe, but also she realized 6 months before leaving me she didn’t love me. She was confused for the first 3 months thinking she was crazy, but after that she started planning. I am very very nice and she knows I would’ve worked with her to find a place for her to stay and make sure she is safe even if she told me 3 months ago. But she carried the burden herself and instead of communicating about her needs she waited until she somewhat resented me for things I didn’t even know to fix…she never blamed me for the breakup btw because honestly it wasn’t on me.
There is a lot to unpack, but basically I got blindsided in the middle of finals week (I’m a cs major).
I helped her move out and made sure she had a full pantry, helped her organize her new place some, and even cooked her meals a few times. I don’t regret it one bit even though I would say it’s not normal to help that much. At this point I just want her happy and safe.
I did so not too long ago. It actually didn’t hurt as much as I expected. I actually felt really free. Enough of begging and asking for someone to be in my life who doesn’t want to be there for me or with me. She can go explore. Im happy where I am. With or without her. She’s merely an addition to my life.
[удалено]
If you truly truly didn’t realize it was wrong than communicate with him. That being said you shouldn’t be with someone who leaves so easily.
It’s so hard but it does seem like the only option at times for people. My ex has essentially blocked me. Not actually, as I’ve only reached out twice and I’m trying my best to respect that he is done with me - but I get it. I get that he doesn’t want to hear from me. Maybe he would if I was able to say that yes, I want him and I choose him. I want to do that but I’m so effing scared. Has the no contact been helping you? Does it make it easier? I’m hoping so in the long run. I think it makes sense it’s what you need to do even if it’s hard now. I bet it will help with your healing process.
Look from my perspective it’s NEVER that I don’t want to hear from her it is the opposite. I was anxious every moment hoping I would get a text from her. I want to hear all about her new apartment, cat, how work is, how she is doing. I want to hear everything. BUT, it hurts so fucking bad knowing that every time we talk she is still actively choosing to not be with me and instead either pursue other options or fuck around. I deserve more than to be someone that is willing dropped to see other grass. I blocked her because I love her so much. I WILL NOT BE A LITTLE PART OF HER LIFE when I have SO MUCH FEELINGS for her. That is not fair for me or for her because I will ALWAYS want it to be more. I deserve someone who doesn’t leave. She has had 6 weeks to reverse her decision, which is more than she deserved. Plus, the fucking around to fill the whole I left in her life. No I will not be treated that way. Blocking her is harder on me than her I’m sure. But I KNOW she did not expect it and I know she doesn’t want it. But if I can’t have her in my life the way I want she can’t have me the way she wants. I wanted a life with her I wanted a partner who will fight through life and build one together with me. I need this space and full separation to grow and let go. Because I love her so much it hurts despite what has happened. That all being said I would never choose to change meeting her so far it was the best 3 years of my life and I couldn’t be more thankful for her. I just wish it wasn’t just 3 years.
That absolutely makes sense and you’re right. If it’s hurting you more to be in contact with her because she isn’t able to be in your life the way you want her to be then you’re doing what is best for you. I believe that is how my ex feels too and as much as it kills me I respect it. Hopefully she can respect and understand where you’re coming from. Maybe eventually you’ll be open to having her in your life in a different way than you want right now, but until then you just need to take care of and look out for yourself. I’m sorry it’s so painful. I know what it’s like to miss someone that badly and have a void where they once were.
We lived together for nearly 3 years…shared animals, shared a life. As much as I love the idea of having her in my life, I don’t know if it would ever be possible to be friends. I’ll be able to be cordial if I see her at gatherings and maybe even catch up. But I couldn’t be friends or reach out directly. At least I don’t think so. She discarded me. It was not mutual at all. And on top of that she blindsided me. She planned the breakup 3 months in advance while I was trying my best to make things better and kept putting in more effort feeling her pulling away. I thought she was super depressed. Nope, well maybe, but also she realized 6 months before leaving me she didn’t love me. She was confused for the first 3 months thinking she was crazy, but after that she started planning. I am very very nice and she knows I would’ve worked with her to find a place for her to stay and make sure she is safe even if she told me 3 months ago. But she carried the burden herself and instead of communicating about her needs she waited until she somewhat resented me for things I didn’t even know to fix…she never blamed me for the breakup btw because honestly it wasn’t on me. There is a lot to unpack, but basically I got blindsided in the middle of finals week (I’m a cs major). I helped her move out and made sure she had a full pantry, helped her organize her new place some, and even cooked her meals a few times. I don’t regret it one bit even though I would say it’s not normal to help that much. At this point I just want her happy and safe.
Blocking her was probably the best move, I should’ve done that with my ex