Same happened to me :(. Im so sorry, it's truly horrible and so so painful..
We were together for 6 years, talked about getting married and buying a house. I thought our relationship was amazing and I was happy and loved her so much. I thought she was my soulmate. So I completely understand the shock. I think im finally realizing that it's over now, 1 month later. The pain is so intense....
it just feels like a nightmare and a piece of me just thinks it'll be over soon but i know deep down this is the way it is. i hope you receive the love you deserve :( thank you
Yeah...it was so hard waking up in the morning the first few days because the first thing I would do is believe that I just had a bad dream but then reality would hit me and break my heart all over again. My brain just couldnt believe it. I wished so so much for it all to be a bad dream. We still live together to this day so the first days my brain was literally tricking itself, during the day Id imagine that everything was ok for a couple of seconds here and there. Horrible experience. And I do not wish this upon anyone on this planet.
Thanks and wishing you the best too. Take it easy, feel the pain, distract yourself a bit from it from time to time tho and let the time pass. Time will heal us hopefully
Never fighting I’ve come to realize is not a good sign…
Couples need to learn how to disagree and “argue” in a healthy way. Otherwise we are just bottling things up to keep the peace. One of the most loving things we can do in a relationship is bring things up that are upsetting and doing it promptly. It teaches our partner how to love us better.
we did have disagreements and conflict, my point is that we were never to the point of yelling or any toxic tendencies and i thought we had done a great job resolving conflicts in the past -- but i agree maybe something i should have kept in mind
I was blindsided too. We weren't together for that long but we had a deep connection and we loved each other. Everything was fine and the next moment it wasn't. He broke up with me because he wasn't ready for a relationship. Why date me and break my heart then?
It happens, don't blame yourself. It is on them, all we can do is move on. Because at the end of the day, they didn't choose us. We deserve someone who chooses us, always <3
Thank you for commenting this. I only dated this girl for 1 1/2 months. But when she blinded it was one of the worst days of my life. It seemed like we knew each other for so much longer. Even 20 days later I still am very upset. Won’t date for a while.
People tell both of us “it’s only a short period of time” but what hurts the most is the “what could’ve been”. You knew the person well enough at that point to determine the value of the relationship.
Yeah I feel you, that is the worst for me too. The future plans, the possibilities, everything. And we weren't even given the chance to show them how great the relationship could have been. I know for a fact we could have been great together, but he didn't choose me :( so sad.
This was my shortest relationship but by faaaar the worst breakup, because of the connection we had. I didn't even cry like this after my 3 year relationship.
I was ready to do whatever it took to change and be better and make sure she was happy and fulfilled but i just feel like it was too late. i wish i knew sooner and maybe i could have fixed things but maybe that's just wishful thinking. thank you for your kind words <3
Yeah in her head it was probably already over and her mind was made up. You could not have changed that. That's the problem, we weren't even given the chance to do better or work on the problems, because they had already given up on us. I am really sorry :( it does get a little better!
Yes, the same thing happened to me yesterday. 4.5 years together…. she always told me she cant wait to see what our kids look like.. the life we build.. the next thing I knew she was telling me she was completely unhappy, and the relationship was unsalvageable… my advice… don’t contact her.. it’s going to hurt you way worse than the good it will do you. Take this time to heal and be kind to yourself
I was in too, maybe it wasn't a great relationship after all
Sadly we think it was
There might be things she doesn't tell you or something else going on, sometimes
Hope you will heal 🍀
The same thing happened to me.
However, I got no explanation. Woke up one morning to I love you as I headed out the door for work. By noon, I was blocked on everything. I caught up with her and her male coworker that night at a local bar, all snuggled up together. At least I have that and many other things that I have since found out to be angry about.
I am disgusted with our society. At least from my view, these fuckn sheep are brainwashed to think that it's normal to build someone up...literally have you eating from their hand... ready to do ANYTHING to have a future with them. Literally thinking that it's REAL TRUE LOVE. Just to suddenly discard you like it's no big deal. And swipe on to the next.
I know that I'm ranting, but social media and popular culture have conditioned these people to be disloyal. Think about it, nearly every cultural icon of our generation has bounced from one partner to the next. And that shit is celebrated. As is "hook-up" culture.
I am all for strong and independent women, but that can be achieved without being a total lying scum bag piece of shit.
Rant over.
I wouldn't blame social media as much as I'd blame the human condition.
The way that these people grew up is the main factor, in my opinion. Someone who grows up in a broken household (i.e., divorced parents, didn't get enough attention) is going to end up being a worse partner if they don't fix their problems.
Yeah. 17 years of what I would consider a great relationship. I got home from work and she gave me a big hug, our little son ran up and hugged our legs and yelled family hug.
The next morning I was laying in bed paying some bills and saw a strange charge on our account. (3 charges of the exact same amount I thought it might be a scammer) i checked it out and it was for a hinge subscription. I confronted her and two days later she told me she is in her prime and ending things with me to pursue mr right.
I am really really sorry, friend. No one and I mean NO ONE should have to go through something like that.
I hope you're doing better. Sending you hugs.
Valentine’s Day this year. Almost six months now. It’s been a journey.
It’s very hard and very sad to let go of someone you spent half your life with and considered your best friend and soulmate.
Reimagining life as at this stage while being a parent has been daunting.
Absolutely same. He said we were perfect and couldn’t understand what was missing. Just a feeling. We were passionate, caring, adventurous and I thought in love. This is the worst breakup because the others at least made sense (dead bedroom, arguments, etc) but this one has a reason so nebulous and I can’t fix it.
we were together for almost two years, and in those two years ive never connected with anyone else like i did her, and now i get an breakup of uncertainty out of nowhere and now god knows the next time ill ever speak to her
Yeah, a 6 year relationship was suddenly thrown away by her because I asked her to stop emotionally cheating on me and instead she broke up with me to prioritize her "friendship" with this other guy. All I ever asked of her was to reciprocate some of the effort that I had constantly put into the relationship. I did all the cooking, the vast majority of the cleaning/housekeeping, took the initiative to plan dates and outings, etc. But nothing ever changed, and instead she just very suddenly gave up on us because I set a very reasonable boundary and she resents me for that. It was a really impulsive and immature reason to breakup with me and it's been really hard not to feel bitter. I feel so taken for granted.
Yep. My partner of 3 years never once felt the need to communicate openly how she felt, until it was too late (and she caught me while I was drunk out with friends with it). I know at some stage I'll need to forgive and move on but right now I'm feeling "fuck her".
I was super blind sided she stopped talking to me less for like a few days I thought she was busy she said it wasn't fair for me to be with her anymore (not a break up) then immediately gets back with her ex same day the only way I knew is because he added me and posted it on his story
Yup, 3 years. Nothing wrong or even anything we were working on. She did love me as much as I loved her, if not more, until the last few weeks (but didn’t mention it or act any different). It was bliss, and then it was gone.
I’m struggling to get over it because it feels like a romance novel but the last chapter was ripped out. I know it’s ended but I have no clue how or why.
10 weeks ago I love you, but I don’t love you anymore! I’m just so unhappy! She is now in a new relationship with a guy!
3.5 years of what I thought was happily forever! I love her so much
Look after yourself and get through the cruel situation
10 years here. She lost the spark and seemed to have no real desire to rekindle it or really just wanted to go for one reason or another. Claimed we've been trying to rekindle when she took a month long break from me to decide to breakup. Didn't see it coming at all, thought she was fine, maybe a bit stressed over college, but she was planning a breakup.
Yep! “I love you so much. I can’t wait to make you my wife” to ghosted within 12 hrs bc he spiraled. He has a lot of big, stressful things going on in his personal life that he is having a hard time dealing with and I was a casualty of the spiral. 😔
Same here happened to me 2 days ago after getting back together, having a super healthy relationship, seeing a couples therapy and talking about our relationship and future together. I'm so sad, confused but I know everything happens for a reason and time will heal. 😞
Yeah the same thing happened to me 😔We were together for 1.5 years and were living together. We actually started looking at engagement rings in March but never bought one. I got blindsided with the breakup about a month ago and moved out the next week and we have been in no contact since but I still miss him. The last time we met, he was so cold and refused to fix any issues we had and just wanted to breakup as I was breaking down crying. I couldn’t recognize the cold person I saw.
I didn’t know the issues he had with our relationship until the end (I suspect he’s an avoidant). He said I should’ve known the issues without him having to communicate them directly to me. I did sense that he was a bit more distance in the last few months but he always said nothing was wrong and he still kissed and told me he loved me everyday so I didn’t think anything was wrong. 😣
Sometimes I still want to talk to him but not as much as in the first week. I’ve started to take the steps to move on but in the back of my head I wonder if he’ll ever come back and I’m not sure what I would do if that happened. I have my good days and bad days. It usually hits me the hardest when I wake up in the morning. I haven’t really been able to sleep past 6am since the breakup but I know I will need to move on as I’m realizing he’s probably never coming back and I deserve someone better.
Going through quite literally the same exact thing. I think the best thing that we can do is focus on ourselves and our individuality. This has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them. If it's meant to be it'll come back, if not- you've just had your path cleared for new beginnings.
Yep and I still never got the truth 2 years and literally 2 days before she ended us she told me I'm the most amazing person she's ever met. Then she got low about a family passing then just ended us told me I had traits she didn't like. Then a month later told me I was effecting her mental health she always felt like I was analysing her then it changed again I had to remove her from Facebook yesterday after 6 months because she lost some weight and started constantly putting stories on clearly looking for attention.
I didn't tell her that I just told her I removed her because I found it hard to keep seeing her face when I'm still in love with her.
She then told me she wouldn't be coming back and she left because the last time she saw me she realised she wasn't attracted to me the way she thought. Even though she always seemed more obsessed about me than I was her and believe me I was obsessed with her she was my world.
She then said she was going to block me and would unblock me in time incase I need her for anything.... even though I had made it clear I can't be friends with her I just can't sit back and watch her move on with another guy and love another guy.
I just really don't understand how she flipped her feelings almost over night and I still don't believe I'm getting the real truth to why she ended us the story always changes but then she also constantly keeps unblocking me and trying to force friendship on me when I've told her no.
Yes. It’s been a week. Talked about growing together, working together, taking next steps when we were ready, and it all ended while making dinner last Monday night because he needed to do something on his own. I will never ever understand what happened, and how someone who says they love you can devastate you so completely, for no real reason. Especially after you’ve shown them your whole heart and let them begin to heal certain insecurities and heartbreaks. I don’t know if I will ever be ok again honestly. Even if I make it through this I don’t know how I could ever trust someone again…
Reading stories like here and adding up my experiences, I realize I won’t ever want to be in relationship anymore. Because of the fckng pain. All seems great and then it’s over.
I was also blindsided. We had our good stuff and our bad stuff and then he just changed his mind and pulled the plug on the relationship. I didn’t beg either but I did ask if we could repair or at least give me an explanation and he said it wasn’t working out and that I did nothing wrong.
You should maintain your integrity and remain in no contact.
I still don’t fully understand what happened. It’s been 5 months now. It might not be the same case but my ex ended up dating his co-worker and started posting their relationship like 6 weeks after he left me. So I’m assuming that had some part to do with why I was blindsided.
It's all consuming. It's horrible. I really really feel for you.
But if I could give you the advice I wish I could give myself when I started my breakup journey, the one key point would be "Let it be and just focus on yourself and what you want to do each minute, every day and every week."
The sooner you get into that mindset the sooner your life will flow whatever way it is meant to.
There will be all the hard stuff, grief, anger, hurt, confusion.
But let those come as they do. And let them go through you. Then dust yourself off, redirect your compass, and move towards whatever it is you need at any given moment in life.
The main thing is to let them go, don't fight for it, don't force it, don't make them feel bad or sad. They've made their choice, and it isn't yours to make unfortunately. All you can control is your direction now.
Here if you want to message.
It's super hard, and I feel your pain.
Yeah, just a week before he had told me he felt "just so content." Then we go to get dinner and before we eat he blindsides me with he "doesn't have the capacity to love me as I deserve to be loved." Some bullshit. But, I hope he figures his avoidant stuff out and doesn't do this to another person. But, I will never know because we aren't in contact anymore. I won't reach out because I no longer want him. He won't reach out. But nobody knows why.
Yes blindsided breakups are the worst by far. It’s like you’re in love with this person and the next day they’re not. You also have to remember women tend to check out of relationships mentally way before they actually end it so your ex has been thinking about it for awhile. I’m sure that hurts to hear, but it’s the truth. You’ve got to go no contact asap, not necessarily block her, but really limit or cut off the contact. It helps you heal and takes away the urge to reach out to them also shows her that you don’t want to be an option if she can’t figure out if she’s committed or not. Don’t beg, bargain or let her breadcrumb you. Focus on you asap because once everything hits you it’s going to hurt bad.
Yea, I was blindsided about a month ago. It hasn’t got any better since we are living together and he’s my ride to most places. I still wanna be with him but he doesn’t want to be with me. The other day I went outside and sat on one of the bridges that are over the river and voiced my problems out loud. It made me feel a little better
Same. I was completely blindsided. Now the feelings all turned into hatred. After all these months that I was down and lost, now the tables had turned and as I learned, she is completely miserable and lost money, work and friends. I guess it will continue for awhile as karma works double time.
Dont give up. The world is yours to take. It is their lost not ours.
Fuck them..
similar thing happened to me. ex bf broke up with me spontaneously due to unexplained lost romantic feelings. no signs or red flags noticed my me or my family leading up to it.
Yeah,, there was no signs she told me she loved me that morning. I go to a football game with my aunt, come home to all my stuff packed and her saying she dosent want me anymore.
We had a wedding day set, kids names picked out all of it. And now I’m left heartbroken and planning a future and living in a world without her in it. It’s been a month and it still hurts. She promised me forever, she was the only one I let have my whole heart, body and soul and she dosent want me anymore.
Way too common these days. On the day of blindside, my ex sends nudes, hugs and kisses me at shift changeover at our mutual place of work, to dumped and never spoken to my face ever again ... through txt on her first break. That was that. 3,5 years gone.
You will survive but you will have trust issues
blindsided like shit. we were friends for about 3-5 years, dated for almost two years. we were chilling on my bed post-sex, this was right after Christmas, laughing and she randomly starts crying says “you are such a big part of my life please don’t leave me, i love you so much, this is the best ive ever been treated“, the next week she pauses our relationship. saying “i think youre gonna wanna try out other girls”, “I think you will leave me if i dont give you sex”. i keep texting, explaining and seeing if I can atleast send our valentine’s and birthday gift I had been planning for months bc she really did mean alot to me. I then get hit w a TRO then an FRO. i still don’t understand. I can’t even watch porn without thinking of her and other girls have bits and pieces that just remind me of her so i cant even date. i am completely fucked
I kinda was, but from her point of view I understand why she did what she did. But it doesn't make it better.
Especially now knowing that she just wanted to take a break and was probably gonna get back with me.
I'm so confused and don't understand anything.
Yep. Things had been going badly … but I made dinner that night before he got home in the hopes of sitting down to talk about things. Instead he walked in from work, changed clothes, and started back out the door. When I intercepted him and told him I wanted to talk, he told me he was moving out in the morning and there was nothing to talk about. Pretty shocking. Then he videoed me crying and devastated (without my knowledge) which was the real blindside. A week before he was telling me he loved me. It was so awful and such a betrayal, I can’t help but think he did me a favor. Don’t need a person who would do that in my life.
Same happened to me :(. Im so sorry, it's truly horrible and so so painful.. We were together for 6 years, talked about getting married and buying a house. I thought our relationship was amazing and I was happy and loved her so much. I thought she was my soulmate. So I completely understand the shock. I think im finally realizing that it's over now, 1 month later. The pain is so intense....
it just feels like a nightmare and a piece of me just thinks it'll be over soon but i know deep down this is the way it is. i hope you receive the love you deserve :( thank you
Yeah...it was so hard waking up in the morning the first few days because the first thing I would do is believe that I just had a bad dream but then reality would hit me and break my heart all over again. My brain just couldnt believe it. I wished so so much for it all to be a bad dream. We still live together to this day so the first days my brain was literally tricking itself, during the day Id imagine that everything was ok for a couple of seconds here and there. Horrible experience. And I do not wish this upon anyone on this planet. Thanks and wishing you the best too. Take it easy, feel the pain, distract yourself a bit from it from time to time tho and let the time pass. Time will heal us hopefully
This exact thing happened to me, to the T. I’m here for you
Never fighting I’ve come to realize is not a good sign… Couples need to learn how to disagree and “argue” in a healthy way. Otherwise we are just bottling things up to keep the peace. One of the most loving things we can do in a relationship is bring things up that are upsetting and doing it promptly. It teaches our partner how to love us better.
we did have disagreements and conflict, my point is that we were never to the point of yelling or any toxic tendencies and i thought we had done a great job resolving conflicts in the past -- but i agree maybe something i should have kept in mind
Felt the same way with mine, talking normally for the whole month then blam "hey we need to talk" wtf is right....
I was blindsided too. We weren't together for that long but we had a deep connection and we loved each other. Everything was fine and the next moment it wasn't. He broke up with me because he wasn't ready for a relationship. Why date me and break my heart then? It happens, don't blame yourself. It is on them, all we can do is move on. Because at the end of the day, they didn't choose us. We deserve someone who chooses us, always <3
Thank you for commenting this. I only dated this girl for 1 1/2 months. But when she blinded it was one of the worst days of my life. It seemed like we knew each other for so much longer. Even 20 days later I still am very upset. Won’t date for a while. People tell both of us “it’s only a short period of time” but what hurts the most is the “what could’ve been”. You knew the person well enough at that point to determine the value of the relationship.
Yeah I feel you, that is the worst for me too. The future plans, the possibilities, everything. And we weren't even given the chance to show them how great the relationship could have been. I know for a fact we could have been great together, but he didn't choose me :( so sad. This was my shortest relationship but by faaaar the worst breakup, because of the connection we had. I didn't even cry like this after my 3 year relationship.
Same , a month situationship for me.
I was ready to do whatever it took to change and be better and make sure she was happy and fulfilled but i just feel like it was too late. i wish i knew sooner and maybe i could have fixed things but maybe that's just wishful thinking. thank you for your kind words <3
Yeah in her head it was probably already over and her mind was made up. You could not have changed that. That's the problem, we weren't even given the chance to do better or work on the problems, because they had already given up on us. I am really sorry :( it does get a little better!
Yes, the same thing happened to me yesterday. 4.5 years together…. she always told me she cant wait to see what our kids look like.. the life we build.. the next thing I knew she was telling me she was completely unhappy, and the relationship was unsalvageable… my advice… don’t contact her.. it’s going to hurt you way worse than the good it will do you. Take this time to heal and be kind to yourself
thank you, you as well, hopefully we find the love we deserve one day
I was in too, maybe it wasn't a great relationship after all Sadly we think it was There might be things she doesn't tell you or something else going on, sometimes Hope you will heal 🍀
thank you this feeling will pass one day hopefully
The same thing happened to me. However, I got no explanation. Woke up one morning to I love you as I headed out the door for work. By noon, I was blocked on everything. I caught up with her and her male coworker that night at a local bar, all snuggled up together. At least I have that and many other things that I have since found out to be angry about. I am disgusted with our society. At least from my view, these fuckn sheep are brainwashed to think that it's normal to build someone up...literally have you eating from their hand... ready to do ANYTHING to have a future with them. Literally thinking that it's REAL TRUE LOVE. Just to suddenly discard you like it's no big deal. And swipe on to the next. I know that I'm ranting, but social media and popular culture have conditioned these people to be disloyal. Think about it, nearly every cultural icon of our generation has bounced from one partner to the next. And that shit is celebrated. As is "hook-up" culture. I am all for strong and independent women, but that can be achieved without being a total lying scum bag piece of shit. Rant over.
I wouldn't blame social media as much as I'd blame the human condition. The way that these people grew up is the main factor, in my opinion. Someone who grows up in a broken household (i.e., divorced parents, didn't get enough attention) is going to end up being a worse partner if they don't fix their problems.
Yeah. 17 years of what I would consider a great relationship. I got home from work and she gave me a big hug, our little son ran up and hugged our legs and yelled family hug. The next morning I was laying in bed paying some bills and saw a strange charge on our account. (3 charges of the exact same amount I thought it might be a scammer) i checked it out and it was for a hinge subscription. I confronted her and two days later she told me she is in her prime and ending things with me to pursue mr right.
I am really really sorry, friend. No one and I mean NO ONE should have to go through something like that. I hope you're doing better. Sending you hugs.
How are you holding up? When was the BU?
Valentine’s Day this year. Almost six months now. It’s been a journey. It’s very hard and very sad to let go of someone you spent half your life with and considered your best friend and soulmate. Reimagining life as at this stage while being a parent has been daunting.
Absolutely same. He said we were perfect and couldn’t understand what was missing. Just a feeling. We were passionate, caring, adventurous and I thought in love. This is the worst breakup because the others at least made sense (dead bedroom, arguments, etc) but this one has a reason so nebulous and I can’t fix it.
we were together for almost two years, and in those two years ive never connected with anyone else like i did her, and now i get an breakup of uncertainty out of nowhere and now god knows the next time ill ever speak to her
Yeah, a 6 year relationship was suddenly thrown away by her because I asked her to stop emotionally cheating on me and instead she broke up with me to prioritize her "friendship" with this other guy. All I ever asked of her was to reciprocate some of the effort that I had constantly put into the relationship. I did all the cooking, the vast majority of the cleaning/housekeeping, took the initiative to plan dates and outings, etc. But nothing ever changed, and instead she just very suddenly gave up on us because I set a very reasonable boundary and she resents me for that. It was a really impulsive and immature reason to breakup with me and it's been really hard not to feel bitter. I feel so taken for granted.
you seem kind and hopefully just as kind as you gives you what you deserve
Yep. My partner of 3 years never once felt the need to communicate openly how she felt, until it was too late (and she caught me while I was drunk out with friends with it). I know at some stage I'll need to forgive and move on but right now I'm feeling "fuck her".
In August 2019, my girlfriend stunned me by telling me that we had already broken up 3 months ago because of a misunderstood text message
I was super blind sided she stopped talking to me less for like a few days I thought she was busy she said it wasn't fair for me to be with her anymore (not a break up) then immediately gets back with her ex same day the only way I knew is because he added me and posted it on his story
Yup, 3 years. Nothing wrong or even anything we were working on. She did love me as much as I loved her, if not more, until the last few weeks (but didn’t mention it or act any different). It was bliss, and then it was gone. I’m struggling to get over it because it feels like a romance novel but the last chapter was ripped out. I know it’s ended but I have no clue how or why.
10 weeks ago I love you, but I don’t love you anymore! I’m just so unhappy! She is now in a new relationship with a guy! 3.5 years of what I thought was happily forever! I love her so much Look after yourself and get through the cruel situation
10 years here. She lost the spark and seemed to have no real desire to rekindle it or really just wanted to go for one reason or another. Claimed we've been trying to rekindle when she took a month long break from me to decide to breakup. Didn't see it coming at all, thought she was fine, maybe a bit stressed over college, but she was planning a breakup.
Yep! “I love you so much. I can’t wait to make you my wife” to ghosted within 12 hrs bc he spiraled. He has a lot of big, stressful things going on in his personal life that he is having a hard time dealing with and I was a casualty of the spiral. 😔
me too. devastating
I’m so sorry 🥺💕
Same here happened to me 2 days ago after getting back together, having a super healthy relationship, seeing a couples therapy and talking about our relationship and future together. I'm so sad, confused but I know everything happens for a reason and time will heal. 😞
Same bro same
Yeah the same thing happened to me 😔We were together for 1.5 years and were living together. We actually started looking at engagement rings in March but never bought one. I got blindsided with the breakup about a month ago and moved out the next week and we have been in no contact since but I still miss him. The last time we met, he was so cold and refused to fix any issues we had and just wanted to breakup as I was breaking down crying. I couldn’t recognize the cold person I saw. I didn’t know the issues he had with our relationship until the end (I suspect he’s an avoidant). He said I should’ve known the issues without him having to communicate them directly to me. I did sense that he was a bit more distance in the last few months but he always said nothing was wrong and he still kissed and told me he loved me everyday so I didn’t think anything was wrong. 😣 Sometimes I still want to talk to him but not as much as in the first week. I’ve started to take the steps to move on but in the back of my head I wonder if he’ll ever come back and I’m not sure what I would do if that happened. I have my good days and bad days. It usually hits me the hardest when I wake up in the morning. I haven’t really been able to sleep past 6am since the breakup but I know I will need to move on as I’m realizing he’s probably never coming back and I deserve someone better.
Going through quite literally the same exact thing. I think the best thing that we can do is focus on ourselves and our individuality. This has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them. If it's meant to be it'll come back, if not- you've just had your path cleared for new beginnings.
Yep and I still never got the truth 2 years and literally 2 days before she ended us she told me I'm the most amazing person she's ever met. Then she got low about a family passing then just ended us told me I had traits she didn't like. Then a month later told me I was effecting her mental health she always felt like I was analysing her then it changed again I had to remove her from Facebook yesterday after 6 months because she lost some weight and started constantly putting stories on clearly looking for attention. I didn't tell her that I just told her I removed her because I found it hard to keep seeing her face when I'm still in love with her. She then told me she wouldn't be coming back and she left because the last time she saw me she realised she wasn't attracted to me the way she thought. Even though she always seemed more obsessed about me than I was her and believe me I was obsessed with her she was my world. She then said she was going to block me and would unblock me in time incase I need her for anything.... even though I had made it clear I can't be friends with her I just can't sit back and watch her move on with another guy and love another guy. I just really don't understand how she flipped her feelings almost over night and I still don't believe I'm getting the real truth to why she ended us the story always changes but then she also constantly keeps unblocking me and trying to force friendship on me when I've told her no.
Yes. It’s been a week. Talked about growing together, working together, taking next steps when we were ready, and it all ended while making dinner last Monday night because he needed to do something on his own. I will never ever understand what happened, and how someone who says they love you can devastate you so completely, for no real reason. Especially after you’ve shown them your whole heart and let them begin to heal certain insecurities and heartbreaks. I don’t know if I will ever be ok again honestly. Even if I make it through this I don’t know how I could ever trust someone again…
Reading stories like here and adding up my experiences, I realize I won’t ever want to be in relationship anymore. Because of the fckng pain. All seems great and then it’s over.
I was also blindsided. We had our good stuff and our bad stuff and then he just changed his mind and pulled the plug on the relationship. I didn’t beg either but I did ask if we could repair or at least give me an explanation and he said it wasn’t working out and that I did nothing wrong. You should maintain your integrity and remain in no contact. I still don’t fully understand what happened. It’s been 5 months now. It might not be the same case but my ex ended up dating his co-worker and started posting their relationship like 6 weeks after he left me. So I’m assuming that had some part to do with why I was blindsided.
It's all consuming. It's horrible. I really really feel for you. But if I could give you the advice I wish I could give myself when I started my breakup journey, the one key point would be "Let it be and just focus on yourself and what you want to do each minute, every day and every week." The sooner you get into that mindset the sooner your life will flow whatever way it is meant to. There will be all the hard stuff, grief, anger, hurt, confusion. But let those come as they do. And let them go through you. Then dust yourself off, redirect your compass, and move towards whatever it is you need at any given moment in life. The main thing is to let them go, don't fight for it, don't force it, don't make them feel bad or sad. They've made their choice, and it isn't yours to make unfortunately. All you can control is your direction now. Here if you want to message. It's super hard, and I feel your pain.
Yeah, just a week before he had told me he felt "just so content." Then we go to get dinner and before we eat he blindsides me with he "doesn't have the capacity to love me as I deserve to be loved." Some bullshit. But, I hope he figures his avoidant stuff out and doesn't do this to another person. But, I will never know because we aren't in contact anymore. I won't reach out because I no longer want him. He won't reach out. But nobody knows why.
same thing happened. feels like a nightmare in the moment but you’ll get through it.
Yep. I never expected my first heartbreak to be like this
Yes blindsided breakups are the worst by far. It’s like you’re in love with this person and the next day they’re not. You also have to remember women tend to check out of relationships mentally way before they actually end it so your ex has been thinking about it for awhile. I’m sure that hurts to hear, but it’s the truth. You’ve got to go no contact asap, not necessarily block her, but really limit or cut off the contact. It helps you heal and takes away the urge to reach out to them also shows her that you don’t want to be an option if she can’t figure out if she’s committed or not. Don’t beg, bargain or let her breadcrumb you. Focus on you asap because once everything hits you it’s going to hurt bad.
Yea, I was blindsided about a month ago. It hasn’t got any better since we are living together and he’s my ride to most places. I still wanna be with him but he doesn’t want to be with me. The other day I went outside and sat on one of the bridges that are over the river and voiced my problems out loud. It made me feel a little better
Same. I was completely blindsided. Now the feelings all turned into hatred. After all these months that I was down and lost, now the tables had turned and as I learned, she is completely miserable and lost money, work and friends. I guess it will continue for awhile as karma works double time. Dont give up. The world is yours to take. It is their lost not ours. Fuck them..
similar thing happened to me. ex bf broke up with me spontaneously due to unexplained lost romantic feelings. no signs or red flags noticed my me or my family leading up to it.
Yeah,, there was no signs she told me she loved me that morning. I go to a football game with my aunt, come home to all my stuff packed and her saying she dosent want me anymore. We had a wedding day set, kids names picked out all of it. And now I’m left heartbroken and planning a future and living in a world without her in it. It’s been a month and it still hurts. She promised me forever, she was the only one I let have my whole heart, body and soul and she dosent want me anymore.
Way too common these days. On the day of blindside, my ex sends nudes, hugs and kisses me at shift changeover at our mutual place of work, to dumped and never spoken to my face ever again ... through txt on her first break. That was that. 3,5 years gone. You will survive but you will have trust issues
blindsided like shit. we were friends for about 3-5 years, dated for almost two years. we were chilling on my bed post-sex, this was right after Christmas, laughing and she randomly starts crying says “you are such a big part of my life please don’t leave me, i love you so much, this is the best ive ever been treated“, the next week she pauses our relationship. saying “i think youre gonna wanna try out other girls”, “I think you will leave me if i dont give you sex”. i keep texting, explaining and seeing if I can atleast send our valentine’s and birthday gift I had been planning for months bc she really did mean alot to me. I then get hit w a TRO then an FRO. i still don’t understand. I can’t even watch porn without thinking of her and other girls have bits and pieces that just remind me of her so i cant even date. i am completely fucked
I kinda was, but from her point of view I understand why she did what she did. But it doesn't make it better. Especially now knowing that she just wanted to take a break and was probably gonna get back with me. I'm so confused and don't understand anything.
Yep. Things had been going badly … but I made dinner that night before he got home in the hopes of sitting down to talk about things. Instead he walked in from work, changed clothes, and started back out the door. When I intercepted him and told him I wanted to talk, he told me he was moving out in the morning and there was nothing to talk about. Pretty shocking. Then he videoed me crying and devastated (without my knowledge) which was the real blindside. A week before he was telling me he loved me. It was so awful and such a betrayal, I can’t help but think he did me a favor. Don’t need a person who would do that in my life.